I Betcha Ted And Robin'll Never Get Together!

How I Met Your Mother, S07E17

 I moaned when I saw that yellow umbrella in the start of this episode.  That meant it was going to be about Ted's quest for love.  From the last episode, we know that it meant Robin.  However, I was still pretty sure that it wouldn't work out.  There was no reason for it to.

We didn't find out whether Robin and Ted might get back together because she had to rush off to Russia before she and Ted could discuss what their kiss (Oh, God--why did she kiss him!) meant for them.  Convenient, but I'll buy it.  Anything to prevent Ted from making another impulse decision.  He calls Marshall to meet him at the bar, even though it's 7AM.  Of course, Marshall runs to his side all the way from New Jersey, with little worry about Barney in their bed.  I'm glad Barney was there because it made Marshall's fast getaway even funnier.

Later Lily leaves Barney there by himself.  Is she crazy?  I guess you couldn't really throw him out when he had a key to the house, but still.  He immediately starts to look for the mythical sex tape he thinks Marshall and Lily have made.  At least he is courteous enough to get his team of maids to clean up after he goes through all of their personal belongings.  Classic Barney.

I didn't know where Lily had gone until she showed up at the bar later.  I was still confused about that, considering she scolded Marshall for going to the bar so early, until Barney came to the bar with news that Lily and Marshall have been making bets about their friends.  Some of these included whether Ted would go bald, whether Robin would ever return the hairdryer she borrowed, and whether Ted and Robin would end up together.  Wow.  Now that's a hard one.  I wish they hadn't put the bets on paper and then hid them in a box that clearly said "Long-Term Bets."  Not that they ever expected Barney to find it, but still.  I think that their idea of a couple hobby is pretty good, though.  I'd probably do something like that, but not leave so much evidence lying around.

Ted is, of course, disheartened to learn that his best friends were gambling on the success of his relationships, but the 2 explain how boring it can be as a married couple.  I think it's not too horrible of a thing they are doing, given Ted's track record.  He doesn't have much luck finding women, and he's more than once tried to get back with Robin.  That doesn't excuse Lily trying to sabotage their relationship by suggesting Ted do some stupid, romantic gestures to convince Robin to take him back.  Then again, Ted is an idiot for listening to her in the first place.  Lily wasn't being slick at all.

Barney also finds a bet that he will never see Marshall and Lily's sex tape, letting him know that it does exist.  He goes back to look again and has his cleaning crew at work one more time.  When he started praying to God for the tape, I knew that one of the maids would find it, and they did.  How gross it is he is so excited to see it and that he invites Ted to watch with him.  During this time, Barney lets Ted know about the hookup he and Robin had while Kevin was around.  However, Barney is too nonchalant about Robin being single now.  What a liar.  He loves her, even if he doesn't want to admit it right now.  Anyway, thanks to Marshall and Lily simultaneously repulsing and tempting him about watching the video, Barney destroys it before seeing it.  Good.  His obsession with having sex with Lily is so disturbing.  But it is what makes Barney Barney, so you can't hate him for it.

I was pretty happy when Robin finally came back, and Ted realizes that their relationship as a couple will never be again.  Thank God.  I can't take it anymore.  Not only does Ted relinquish their agreement to get together if the two are single when they are 40, but Marshall (with probably ulterior motives) tells Robin that she has to move out of Ted's apartment for his sake.  Ted claimed that after he cleared it up with Robin and she moved out that he felt happy for once, but I'm skeptical.  I will be pissed if he gets desperate  and tries to rekindle that Robin fire.  Seriously.  Please be done, you two.  Who wants to see them together??

At the end Marshall tells Lily again to wait before they decide who the winner is of the Ted-Robin bet.  I assume that's because he thinks her moving away from Ted will bring them closer?  He has to have something up his sleeve.

I hope that next time Barney realizes that he isn't so immune to Robin being single again.  Now that Ted isn't distracting her with old love, maybe they can work things out.  But Robin would need to make amends for stomping on Barney's heart like she did.  That was stone-cold, Robin.  No wonder you're alone.