Matchmaking And Dog Therapy

Suburgatory, S02E11

Tessa was asked by Shelia to help find Lisa a boyfriend, and after seeing Lisa dating a little boy, Tessa tried to find a match for Lisa online.  George fought with Yoni over the best way to help Yakult, and Dallas began to take Yoni's side in the matter.

One of my favorite things about Tessa's story was that although she had to spend a lot of time with Shelia, the focus wasn't about how the two got along, but whether Lisa could be hooked up before she "ran out of time."  I was worried for a second Shelia was going to grill Tessa and judge Tessa up and down for being with her favorite child, but luckily she seems cool with Tessa enough to think that she needs to be involved in another Shay's future.  It was weird that Tessa was put in the position of matchmaker, but not presumptuous (as it was when Lisa was doing that in the past) since Lisa was pratically begging Tessa to do so.

I guess I can't be too surprised that a simple dream about Lisa being a spinster cat lady scared her into thinking that if she didn't get a boyfriend soon, she'd be alone forever.  I just wish Lisa would use those brains I know she has to think about how rash that seems for someone her age.  Unless she thinks she's never going to leave Chatswin where there aren't enough guys to appreciate her, it's jumping the gun.  Rather than be amused that she was dating someone still in middle school, I just felt bad for Lisa.  She looked even more desperate than usual.  It's crazy that she has confidence about other odd things and yet has not a bit about her own value as a girlfriend.  I'm sure her mother doesn't help in that area (she made it clear by stating that boys were exactly lining up for her).

I got scared that when Tessa accidentally invited her ex to be Lisa's date that Tessa might fall for him again.  Luckily, she was so damned bored with him.  I loved that.  Then I thought Ryan might feel threatened and he did in a way that I didn't expect.  He was only threatened by the quality of Scott's hair.  Too cute.  My favorite part of the whole episode was when he told Tessa that she had to leave him for Scott because of how silky his hair was.  Tessa told him no and gave him a little kiss.  Aww!  God, I love them together!

I also liked that Lisa realized that she was wasting her time with Scott and AJ because with Malik she had already felt what love was like.  That better mean that she'll reconsidering taking Malik back.  The way they broke up was ridiculous.  She gave up way too quickly on him.

George sort of gave up quickly, too, when battling with Yoni.  Yoni is fake as hell and has some weird grudge against George (I guess maybe because George is the only one who sees through his bullshit?), but I sort of like him as the role of George's nemesis.  I couldn't be too mad that Dallas was falling for all of Yoni's pseudo healing tips when every other woman in Chatswin was eating up every word out of Yoni's mouth, but it was frustrating that George was being made to look like a monster.  All he really had to do was really show that he cared about Yakult and he would have won Dallas' trust a lot faster.  Oh, well.  It was sort of funny to see Yoni driving George crazy.

The best thing about that story and my second favorite thing in the episode was when George was taking Yakult for a walk and had Dalia with him.  She opened up to him about her thoughts of religious conversion and school.  It's so cute how they are bonding like that!  It was even better when George and Dalia teamed up to expose Yoni as a fraud to Dallas--so good.  And I like that Dalia thought that fetch was a game George made up for her and Yakult to play.  Dalia is really brilliant at making the most of her screen time.  George's victory wouldn't have been half as great if Dalia wasn't involved.

This was a really good episode.  I don't think it was hilarious or anything, but it was adorable.  There weren't a lot of Ryan and Tessa moments, but that one at dinner with Scott was more than enough to placate me until next time.  Hopefully Lisa will consider the special thing she had with Malik and start getting him back in her life.  I don't need to see her hanging around with boys like AJ again.  George is really becoming an irreplaceable existence in not just Dallas' life, but Dalia's as well.  I get a real kick out of George and Dalia bonding, and I'm interested to see what kind of way Dalia might open up to George next.

So Tired Of Mindy's Guys

The Mindy Project, S01E13

Mindy realized that even though she was sleeping with Brendon, he wasn't committed to dating her.  She was able to meet someone nice at a party, but she bailed on him and went back to Brendon when the guy was too close with his female best friend.  Mindy later saw Brendon at a movie theater with another girl, making it clearer that their relationship was anything but exclusive.  Danny was surprised when Jillian seemed to suddenly break up with him.  Everyone at the office suggested he do some kind of grand gesture to get her back.

Pretty much from start to finish in this episode I was yelling inside at Mindy.  Why is she still with Brendon in any capacity??  It is infuriating.  It makes it worse that it's clear that Brendon plays it breezy with women, while Mindy is always thinking of things getting more serious.  I really wanted her to stab him with that knife she keeps under her pillow when he so casually turned down her invitation to go to the party with her.  Brendon is the worst person for someone so love-hungry like Mindy to be with!  I don't know why she keeps inviting these despicable guys into her heart and bed.

I don't remember the name of the guy she met at the party, but he seemed all right.  I don't particularly like the way that his best friend is such a heavy presence in his life.  The way he chatted with his bestie on the phone right in front of Mindy was worthy of a bed knife as well.  They were having such a good conversation with each other and making a connection.  Once he called his friend, though, it instantly changed from a great date to a waste of time.  I don't blame Mindy for running out.  However, I wanted to slap her for thinking Brendon was a better choice.  I'm almost glad, though, she did go to that asshole Brendon because seeing how he treated her at the movie theaters made the new guy look pretty good in comparison.

It was a little embarrassing to see Mindy dress up like Indiana Jones and accidentally whip herself in front of a Latin class for a guy, but at least she hasn't thrown in the towel yet.  I like that she keeps trying.  After what happened to her in those few days we saw, I would think she would take a little break from dating.  I just hope that making an ass out of herself will be worth it for this new guy.  She's still got to compete with his best friend.  Don't think that issue is going to go away no matter who she dresses up like.

Jillian dumping Danny was very expected.  I felt bad for her the first few seconds I saw her with Danny at the party.  If only that idiot had listened to Mindy about how he was really lucky to have her, instead of taking her for granted.  He might as well been dating a doll if he wasn't going to listen to anything Jillian had to say.  No wonder she felt he was a jerk.  It's a shame because lately I've felt like Danny 's gotten a bit better about looking like an asshole, but obviously he's not quite there yet.  Still, I give him points for trying to get back together with Jillian.  He could have just ignored the advice completely.  Then again, I'm annoyed that he walked out of Julianne in the first place when she was breaking up with him without letting her explain.  No matter who was being dumped, you should listen to the end, jerk.

I didn't hate this episode, but it did make me really mad.  I don't know how many more pieces of trash I can watch Mindy be with.  She really knows how to pick some scumbags.  For once, I'd like her to meet a guy who doesn't deserve to be stabbed with a knife in her bed.  Hopefully this new guy will meet this criteria.  Although, with him having such an overly-involved girl friend, it's not looking too good right now.  Danny is probably hopeless as he is right now.  If he ever wants another girl like Jillian, he's going to need a major makeover with his attitude (or maybe just a girl like Mindy who can tolerate his ways).

Finally The Right Time Came

New Girl, S02E15

Schmidt, Nick, and Winston went out to hook up with some girls, leaving Jess behind in the apartment alone.  Schmidt and Nick fought over a girl, while Winston met a girl willing to help him talk better with women.  Everyone ended back at the loft after Jess freaked out from a strange noise at the door and played their favorite game.

Nick's obsession with his stolen women's coat was so cute.  Only he could have a confidence boost from that and refuse to take it off even if it got him kicked out of the club.  I was dying for someone to make an Inspector Gadget reference and Winston obliged me later on when they were playing the game.  That really added to Nick looking ridiculous.

I was sort of mad that Schmidt, who usually doesn't have too many problems getting girls, was getting in the way of Nick and Holly.  Finally Nick had found a woman who was turned on by the sadness that surrounds his life rather than repulsed by it.  She was definitely an odd woman, but you don't look a gift horse in the mouth.  It sucked that Nick had not just Schmidt getting in his way, but also Jess, who was being her typical "cooler" self.

Jess in this episode was really adorable.  This was mostly when she was left alone in the apartment, playing with her mountain of clothes.  I was so surprised that she acting like a little kid with nothing else better to do than run fake marathons and dress up like a robot.   That Nick doll she made from a melon and hoodie with a beer can in her head was borderline creepy, but also made her look like she just couldn't stand a night without her favorite guy.  I loved it--she is such a dork.  I actually liked it better when she was spending time by herself rather than when everyone came home to play True American.

Of course, the best thing about them playing the game was when Nick and Jess were stuck behind the "Iron Curtain" and made to kiss.  It was funny how hard it was for them to do it even the slightest bit naturally.  The weirdest attempt was when Nick was smiling like the Joker and Jess told him he couldn't kiss with his teeth.  It was disappointing that they failed to seal the deal despite that Jess admitted that Nick could be hot (if he groomed himself) and they had a little moment together.   Sam came along and ruined the magic they had started to have, and they eneded up being awkward with each other again.

However, all that drama paid off when Nick admitted that he did want to kiss Jess, just not in such an artificial setting.  I got excited hearing that.  Then, unfortunately, Nick started talking incoherently and fled to the window ledge instead of elaborating on what he meant.  I was getting pretty fed up then because they had almost had all night to have their first kiss together, and it just wasn't happening.  Finally, at the end Nick unexpectedly grabbed Jess and the two of them had such a passionate kiss!  There was no way you could say that Nick was doing it all because Jess was 100% kissing him back.  Wow!  It was so amazing to see!  And perfect that it came right when you thought that them advertising Nick and Jess kissing was just a ploy to get you to watch.  We are back on track with Nick and Jess--yes!

This was a great episode mainly because we got to see "Trench Coat Nick" and the first kiss between Nick and Jess.  It took almost to the very end of the episode before were we rewarded from watching Nick and Jess fumble around to lock lips, but finally the right time came along.  I doubt that Jess will so quickly start rethinking her feelings about Sam, but she can't possibly be able to forget how electric her kiss with Nick was. She was blown away and she can't erase that.  Nick better not try and pretend it didn't happen either.  I want to see them next time expressing at least their feedback of those magical few seconds.

Somehow Better As A Play

American Dad, S08E10

The show was presented as if it were a play.  Francine threw Stan a birthday party, not realizing the dark family secrets the celebration would bring up.  Hayley was keeping a secret from Avery who slept with the family maid, Edna, in his heartbroken state.

This isn't the first time I've seen a cartoon do something like this, but every time I have seen it, I remember enjoying it.  This episode was no different.  I liked all the touches they added to make it feel like you were in the audience watching a play, such as the lighting and someone coughing being shushed.  I really liked how they did the lighting for when Stan's car was coming and going from the house, in particular.  Another thing I enjoyed a lot was them substituting glitter or confetti for the splashing water and for the blood.  It was also cute to see them use the pool, which was just made out of cardboard or something.  It was little things like that that made me like this story even more.

The stories were pretty dramatic, but I did find a few things to laugh about.  One of such was when Stan was brought home for driving recklessly by a police officer:

He was eating crab and driving.  He'd be spending the night in the cooler if there was anything illegal about what he was doing.

That was my favorite line.  I just liked that he got pulled over in the first place while he was sobbing and stuffing his face with crab legs.  Somehow it seemed like he was going to be arrested for something that silly.

I also found the end to the Hayley story to be unexpectedly funny.  I mean, it was terrible that Edna had suffocated a baby right when Avery and Hayley had gotten back together, but their reaction to the baby's death was so over the top with anguish.  The lighting went red, they were screaming, and they ripped out their hair and clothes.  It was definitely one of those times I didn't want to laugh, but I just couldn't help myself.  They were doing a great job of bad acting.

There was one other thing that wasn't quite funny, but mentionable.  When Francine tried to keep the party going with their guests, she had someone start a record of Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit."  Her songs are not anything you want to play at a party unless it's a drinking-out-of-sadness sort of affair.  I just liked the irony of that moment.

Oh, and it was so weird to me that I happened to fall asleep a little before Stan went outside to find his father and son swimming in the pool.  When I woke up again, Patrick Stewart was pretending to be asleep himself and the episode was pretty much over.  The timing of that was hilarious to me, although it was just because I randomly dozed off.  Patrick Stewart was sort of amusing as the host of this play.  Even when he was making cheesy puns of "Act Two" with a sneezing sound.

I really liked this episode, even though the stories were pretty sad overall.  I liked how Stan was misinformed about his broken family and in the end he started one of his own by ending his life.  Despite the dark nature of the story, I enjoyed that it came full circle.  The story about Avery, Hayley, and Edna was equally tragic in nature, but the little time we spent on them allowed me to find a little humor in the grandness of the emotional conclusion.  I couldn't say anything that bothered me in this episode.  Wish they would do more like this one!

Just Do It--Don't Talk!

Family Guy, S11E11

Peter and the guys had a wild night of drinking that led to Quagmire accidentally getting married to a prostitute.  At first, Quagmire tried to make their marriage work, so that he wouldn't have to lose everything in a divorce, but he changed his mind when Charmese thought he was gay.  However, she wouldn't consent on a divorce unless Quagmire proved that he was really into men.

The biggest shock about Quagmire being married isn't who he married because let's face it--him marrying a prostitute doesn't sound below the quality of life he's lived so far.  It's just weird to see him married at all.  This was true when he had that fiancee in another episode who was too crazy for Quagmire.  At least this time Quagmire was involved with a woman who didn't seem so bad, despite her profession.  I mean, she was mostly just a sight to look at.  She did refuse to divorce him unless he had sex with a man in front of her, but since Quagmire was playing her in the first place, I couldn't see her as being psycho.  She probably never intended to let it get as far as it did.

I was surprised that Peter agreed to do that for Quagmire.  He's a really good friend, even though Peter seemed sort of into it more than he was letting on.  I can't forget that he said he had been "full sail" way before he and Quagmire got into the room.  Raises an eyebrow, but not such much that I'll probably remember it by the time the next episode comes out.

More than not wanting to see Peter and Quagmire actually get it on, I just wanted them to stop narrating what they were doing and "feeling."  They made it so much more uncomfortable to watch when they were saying such unnatural things.  And when they were barfing back and forth in each others' mouths--one of the grossest parts of the story.  It definitely beat when Charmese spit on Chris' face (yuck!)

There were a few jokes that I liked in this episode.  The first was a cutaway when Peter was comparing them sticking out at Harvard to a black guy in Sweden.  Unexpectedly when they started saying "Blackin sippin," I was laughing.  It was such bad fake Swedish that it couldn't be anything else but humorous.  It almost makes me want to say that next time I see a black guy sipping from a cup.

Next, I liked when Peter was confused about Beowulf:

[Peter] Hey, was Beowulf a Teen Wolf sequel with Scott Baio? 

[Joe] No.

[Peter] Then I just totally failed that Medieval Lit midterm.

I don't know why, but any kind of joke about Beowulf that you can make is funny to me.  I guess because since high school, I've always thought that title and story were strange to me.

The last joke I liked was a parody of It's A Wonderful Life:

[Girl] Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, some gay guy’s gonna have sex with another gay guy. 
[Father] We’re gonna pull you out of that school.

I'd like to know what school it is that says things like that to their students.  Sounds like a bizarre place.


This was a good episode.  I wouldn't mind watching it again, except I don't really want to listen to Quagmire and Peter talk about what they're going to do to each other in bed.  If they had just been a little quieter it might have been more tolerable to watch (although, I doubt they would show Quagmire screwing Peter for real).  There were enough jokes throughout that it was generally funny, and the story itself about Quagmire was interesting enough that I wasn't entirely so concerned about laughing every few minutes.

Tina's Poop Scoop

Bob's Burgers, S03E12

Tina started reporting about a serial pooper at school in her own newscast when the school news channel pushed her to the background as just a juice server.  Gene also started dressing and acting like Bob when he saw that Bob once looked like Gene at his age.

I was reminded in this episode how much I hate Tammy. Not only is she dressing a little too flashy for her age, but she's the type of girl who doesn't want anyone to shine except herself.  I don't know if the teacher would have given Tina the position of anchor if Tammy hadn't sabotaged her (since Tina isn't naturally filled with energy and celebrity appeal), but she might have been taken seriously instead of being looked upon as a burden.

I admired that Tina went after a real story, even though no one wanted to listen to her at first.  She was genuinely interested in journalism and informing the student body about important events happening in their school. It's just lucky that it turned out to be something so disgusting and grabbing like someone going around the school dropping dukes wherever they felt like.  I was really happy that Tina's reporting was making her popular enough that the news crew who had shunned her was jealous enough to try to frame her.

I don't know if Zeke has always had a thing for Tina or if he's just a nice enough kid to poop in public for her sake.  Either way, it was sweet that someone else was on her side.  Of course, Louise was one of her biggest supporters and even tried to get a little payback on Tammy at the end.  That was one of my favorite parts when Louise pushed Tammy toward the poop.  That would have been a really awesome ending, but unfortunately Louise hadn't pushed her quite enough.  Damn.  Still, I loved that Louise tried.

It was also sort of sad and cute that Tina had such a repertoire with the school janitor.  Like, she is by no means overflowing with friends, so it's not that surprising that she would befriend a staff member.  Still, I wish that she had someone around her age that would laugh at one of her jokes even if that person didn't understand it.  Tina has a lot to offer as a friend, and it would be nice if more people noticed that.

As far as Gene was concerned, he was being his typical pain-in-the-butt self.  I felt like I could feel Bob's anger with Gene imitating him in a way that wasn't cute at all.  Of course, the rest of the family indulged him and made the whole thing much worse than it had to be.  All Gene was doing, really, was insulting his father 24-7, and he looked sort of like an asshole doing that.  At one point Gene said that the family was terrible, but he still loved them in what he assumed was a Bob-like fashion.  Although Bob was mad he said that, I gotta agree that the family is terrible, but Bob does still love them all the same.  I mean, he'd be terrible himself if he didn't love his own family (since it's not like they are murderers or spitting in his face), but I often think that Bob would be so better off if he ran off one day (not unlike Archer in that episode--the real Bob himself could use a spa day).  Bob's just lucky that Gene doesn't stick to one annoying thing forever and can be distracted enough by poop to stop playing his father like a fool.  And I'm lucky, too, because I couldn't stand to watch it much longer.

This episode wasn't bad.  It made me like Tina a lot more and remind me of the many characters on this show who I wish would fall into a hole in the center of the Earth.  Really, the writers are geniuses at creating characters who are so irritating.  However, even though I generally like the shenanigans that the kids get into, I have to say that they can be pretty irritating themselves.  This is particularly true of Gene, who takes his jokes on further than is necessary or funny.  I'd love to see an episode once where him constantly making fun of his father brings him more unpleasant consequences.  Sometimes someone needs to slap some sense into that boy.

No One Wants Those Kids

The Simpsons, S24E11

After getting trapped in a life-threatening situation, Homer and Marge sought to find guardians for their children.  They were unable to find appropriate guardians among people they knew, so they happened upon a surfer and an environmental lawyer who were too eager to take the kids.  Homer and Marge learned quickly that this couple was prepared to take their kids before Homer and Marge had even passed.

Well, this was a mildly interesting topic for a story: who would raise Bart and the girls if Homer and Marge died?  Well, despite they know pretty much everyone in town, there aren't a lot of people that they were willing to give the kids to, nor a lot of people in Springfield willing to take them.  I guess I thought it was little funny that they were being avoided by anyone who passed them in town after they failed to find anyone in the family who could properly take the kids.  People were actually opening circles around them like they were playing "guardian tag."  It's sort of sad that they had to cruise around some beach to find strangers rather than anyone they had an actual relationship with.

What I liked best about the couple who agreed to have the kids was that Portia was voiced by Rashida Jones.  She just has a cute voice that sort of sounds like a bit of a know-it-all (not unlike Lisa).  I actually had hoped that the couple would turn out to be not as good as they sounded and something more exciting would happen at the end, but it was just that they liked Bart, Lisa, and Maggie so much that they were willing to take them into their family before it was all legal.  That was the disappointing part.  I had hoped something more unexpected might have happened that would make Homer and Marge run back to get their kids.

I didn't really think anything was that funny.  There's only about two things that almost made me laugh.   One of such was when Homer was having Portia and Mav sign the papers and Portia asked where Bart was:

Oh, uh, well, he wanted to be here, but I’m going to decrease the volume of my voice and mumble so you can’t really understand what I’m saying, and I’ll just keep doing it.

Another was at the beginning when Lisa revealed that playing Emissaries to Byzantium wasn't her idea either:

I don’t like this game. Nobody likes this game. Even the kids on the box look bored. They’re miserable.

The kids on the box looked like they were going to die from boredom.  That was about the most visually amusing thing in the whole episode.

I didn't really care for this episode. It got me thinking about what would happen if Homer's foolhardy actions made both him and Marge die, but in the end, they didn't really come to a solution.  That would have been fine if the path they took to get to that conclusion was fun to watch, but it was missing excitement and humor.  There weren't a lot of memorable scenes, so I can easily see myself forgetting this episode even existed.

Which Version Was The Worst?

The Cleveland Show, S04E08

Cleveland showcased the different versions of The Cleveland Show as broadcast around the world.  These included Mexico, Italy, Germany, and Japan.

As soon as I heard Cleveland explain what the episode was going to be about, I wasn't expecting anything good.  My prediction turned out to be mostly true, the majority of the jokes at various countries being more boring than they were anything else.  Usually when a show attempts to throw their characters into a different setting than normal, it's a good chance to be entertained at how they act in another environment, but I couldn't find much humor in it at all.

The story about Junior's quinceanera was probably my least favorite, but that's not saying much.  The best thing was that Sofia Vergara made a guest appearance, and I found out that she has a pretty good singing voice.  I just like her in general, so it helped me not roll my eyes at the story completely.  I also liked when they did a fake commercial break that featured Consuela advertising her "perfume" called "No."  But it was just really Lemon Pledge.

The next story set in Italy was the least annoying of them all.  It focused on the rivarly between Junior and Rallo, which was certainly a big reason why.  I really liked seeing Rallo in all those outfits.  He was so cute in both what he was wearing at the retirement party and when he was getting a new suit.  Rallo is adorable in a little hat.  Speaking of that retirement party, it was little funny when that guy made a joke about "Crime Warner" and Cleveland snapped his fingers to have that guy shot.  Then he blamed it on a heart attack as they took his body away.  It's rare to see Cleveland in a position of power where he's that scary.

My favorite part of that story was when Junior came crying to Cleveland after he had found Larry in the tub:

[Junior] Daddy! Daddy!  Rallo drowned Larry the leopard!

[Cleveland] Just put him in the dryer.

[Rallo] He had my friend Walt killed!

[Cleveland] So you're even.  Now go on outside and play.

Another quote I liked was when Rallo was admiring himself in the mirror:

Damn, I look good.  Probably gonna die in this suit one day.

Finally, I liked the end of the story, for some reason.  There was something funny about that dramatic music as Rallo couldn't get Donna to save him and Cleveland putting on that jacket, gloves, and hat so that he could take the two out for a "drive."

The story about the writers wasn't that interesting.  The best thing about it was that it wasn't very long, so they could move on to something else.

The story in Japan, was disappointing too.  I had expected it might be my favorite, but it was just okay.  No one's Japanese version was very funny, except maybe Tim.  He had those "anime eyes," and he looked pretty cute.  I didn't care too much about the robot or anything else that was going on.  However, I had a hard time ignoring the fact that Cleveland was dressing up as a pile of shoes at work.  I know it's all supposed to be jokes and stuff, but the nerd in me was like, "You'd never see a pile of shoes like that there.  They would be neatly lined up."  It's too bad I just couldn't enjoy that joke or any of the others.  I won't get another chance to watch Cleveland and the crew in Japan again (I hope).

Even though I didn't like this episode, I'm just happy it wasn't a disaster.  I've seen some pretty bad stuff on this show, and I could have seen them doing worse with these different countires.  All the stories were mostly cheesy, but not in a way I thought was particularly clever or fresh.  I don't mind seeing something poking fun at stereotypes (it's usually a good way to reduce them of their power), but I'd rather see them presented in a way that's a bit different.  When you see the same thing about Italians, for instance, eating tons of spaghetti a thousand times, it's not really going to make you laugh.  Or maybe, even though this is a comedy show, that was the goal of this episode: you get so many bad jokes thrown at you, you just end up being too bored to be offended.

Archer's Best Friend

Archer, S04E02

Archer heard about the death of his best friend, Lucas, and refused to accept that he was dead and a traitor.  When Archer went off to find him, Lana and Cyril followed him to stop Archer from wasting his time and putting his life in danger.

I guess I've never really noticed that Archer doesn't have any friends.  He shouldn't, logically, because he's not friendly or capable of thinking of others.  So it was kind of cute that he had this bromance with Lucas.  I hoped that he would be right and find his friend alive, especially after they showed Archer as a kid sitting alone on some bleachers.  It's no wonder that he would take off like he did to find his only friend in the world.

I liked that Lucas betrayed his comrades all so he could be with Archer in a bed and breakfast in Vermont.  Wow, it's already a lot to process that he killed his teammates in cold blood and stole money, but then he was also delusion enough to think that he would just start this new life with Archer there.  If he really wanted a life with him, he should have at least tried to think of a life that would have been attractive to Archer.  I mean, maybe Archer could have looked past his crimes and the fact that he's into men, but I couldn't see Archer living there and checking couples into rooms.  So not his style.

I sort of felt bad that Lucas got killed because like his friend, Archer too was crushed.  However, the best thing about Lucas (besides him telling Archer that he was only gay for him) was him making a confession at his death bed.  He pretty much revealed that he had violated Archer once when he was passed out from drinking.  I liked that Archer begged him that if he loved him to not tell him what he had already suspected.  What a thing to tell someone right before you die.  It's terrible and sad in a way that it worked really well for an ending.  It's like was it better for Archer to have had a friend at all or always been friendless?

I liked this episode.  It was interesting to see someone who loved Archer beside his mother.  Most times it just looks like everyone at ISIS could take or leave Archer, with good reasons.  I enjoyed the short-lived bromance between Lucas and Archer.  Don't think we'll be seeing anyone vibing with Archer like that anytime soon.

Tessa Needs To Think Again

Suburgatory, S02E10

Ryan and Tessa made their love public, and Tessa was induted into the group of the football girlfriends.  George, Noah, and Fred formed together to make a rock band, and the dynamic was in danger when George wanted Shela to be their vocalist.

I am really loving the reboot of Ryan and Tessa dating.  Last time, it was like they were just having this fling where they just made out and nothing else really.  Ryan was so cute when he was literally shouting about their love in the halls.  I didn't see anything wrong with that until Amber came along to introduce Tessa into the "football girlfriends club."

I could see that entering that cult of girls only living to pump up their jock boyfriends would rile Tessa up enough that she would conduct a rebellion.  Usually, I'm on board with her outrages at school and all, but this time I couldn't ignore that she is now Ryan's girlfriend and shouldn't try to screw up things for him.  Sure she felt like she was liberating all those girls, but it felt more like she was doing it all for herself.  She had barely dipped her toe into Ryan's world before she abndoned ship and started destroying things.  I was pretty afraid of what was going to happen once she "freed" all those girls from the sweatshop.

However, when Ryan and the other players arrived to the pep rally without their paper banner and no enthusiasm from the bleachers, I was cracking up at Ryan's rage.  Lisa was so right that Ryan would be on kill mode when he saw all of that--he was shouting for the person responsible like he was going to tear them apart.  I was laughing so hard, especially when Tessa ran for dear life from the gym.  I was scared that even when she confessed her responsibility for the failed pep rally that he might still throw her into some lockers or something (not really, because Ryan's a sweetheart).  I was, though, afraid that he wouldn't forgive her because he made it clear that Tessa had barely given any effort to fit in with his friends and experience his world.  I really wanted to shake Tessa then when she tried to make what she did seem all right because it's what she always does.  Ryan didn't really have the vocabulary to shoot her down, but I still enjoyed him telling her to "think again, thinker."  What was important is he got across that he was pissed and what she did was not cool.

I was taking more of Ryan's side when he grabbed her in the hall after their fight and cutely said "interception" (Tessa didn't care for it, but I liked his goofy attempt to make up).  Instead of staying mad at her, he made her a paper banner for her to run through with her name on it.  It might have been of poor quality and unnecessary because she was just going to class, but I think that was just about the nicest thing he could have done to smooth things over and make Tessa walk in his shoes for a second.  I was a little angry he had to convince her a bit to do it, even if it was silly.  Geez, Tessa, show a little more remorse for mocking his way of life and not really seeing that it isn't all terrible.  Anyway, I loved when she ran through and looked like an idiot, but she enjoyed it.  And Ryan cheering her on about math--wonderful.  Tessa might have been a bit of a jerk in this episode, but as long as they were able to get a little closer despite some problems along the way, it's all good to me.

George's story was just silly.  I was surprised, though, that they were all good musicians.  I expected them to sound like a bunch of random dads trying to be rock stars--in other words, like they had never played an instrument in their lives.  But they were pretty good.  Shelia wasn't bad either, but I was just as displeased that he let her into the band as Noah and Fred were.  Like, the point of the band was to have some fun and not be bothered by the pressure of the women they loved, and yet George threw that all away so that he could make a band that sounded amazing.  Good thing that Shelia dissed Dallas, so that George could see the damage his new band was doing.  Casting aside his friends is one thing, but treating Dallas like a groupie or something was starting to cross the line.  Anyways, I just really didn't want to see George and Shelia hanging out.  She's just so overbearing that I can't stand to see George around her.

This was good episode, but I was just really loving the start of Ryan and Tessa.  They had me worried that they were going to let their differences throw them for a loop straight from the beginning, but now they have made me a bit more confident that they can work through their issues where they don't particularly agree.  I really want to see Tessa make more of an effort to accept Ryan and change a little instead of him doing all the changing and compromising for her sake.  Now that this relationship is in round two, I can't bear for it fall apart again.

Ron Loves Diane

Parks and Recreation, S05E11

Leslie wanted to initiate more goverment jobs for females, so she started by tackling the sanitation department.  She and April tried to prove that female garbage collectors could do the job just as well as males.  Chris was confused about where he stood with Shauna.  Tom asked Andy and Ben to teach him about basketball, so he could relate to his costumers.  Ron had Ann look over Diane's girls when he had exhausted himself watching them.

Besides the fridge business, I think Leslie and April had no problems really picking up trash.  It was cute to see something that Leslie had dragged April into that she actually enjoyed.  Even if it was to invade people's privacy.  I also liked that April was the one who convinced Leslie to think of another way to handle the fridge, so they wouldn't lose to the jerks setting them up to fail.  However, my favorite part of this story was when Leslie and Chris were having the meeting with the gender equality commission.  April pointed out there were only men present and Leslie spoke out:

[Leslie] Excuse me, everyone, did anyone notice that there are no women on the gender equality commission?

[Milton] There's a lady right next to you.  Oh, wait, no--it's just a very beautiful man.

I loved Chris looking offended for a second before he smiled at the compliment at the end.  Man, even guys like Milton can admit to Chris' good looks.

I could understand why Chris is a little confused about his standing with Shauna, but I was glad that Leslie gave him some advice about it:

[Leslie] I know you're not used to this, but maybe you should just try to keep it chill and see what happens.

[Chris] Great advice.  Impossible to follow, but great advice.

It's great that Chris can make his negativy sound positive.  It's not just his words, but his peppy, fast-paced voice.

I was surpsied in Tom's story that he doesn't know more about basketball than what he knows from the Kardashians' show.  Wow.  I knew he was sort of a non-traditional kind of guy, but I didn't know he was this bad.  After watching him play basketball like he had never heard of the sport in his life, he summed up his ignorance in one line:

Did I do basketball?

It was just a sad sight to watch him try to dribble and throw worse than what a preschooler would, and it got worse when the very type of customers he was trying to impress joined him on the court and schooled Tom and his friends in a game.  Tom's got some good friends who would put up with that and not call off the game before it even started.  But it was funny to see kids dominate them so hard.

Ron's story was just adorable.  To see someone like him just sitting like a statue while two little girls played with him as they pretty much wished was hilarious.  I admire that he loves Dianne so much that he would put up with that torture for as long as he did before he tried to pawn them off to Ann.  It's weird, though, that Ron still doesn't know her name (actually, no it isn't because Ron is like that):

[Ron] I thought your last name was Hanson for some reason.
[Ann] Nope, it's Perkins.  Always has been.
[Ron] You seem more like a Hanson.

The funniest thing about Ron asking Ann to watch over the kids was how bad and uneasy she was with the girls.  When she told them the scary story and the girls screamed, I loved how Ron forced a laugh and asked Ann:

What is wrong with you, woman?

It doesn't really surprise me, though.  Ann is sort of a hit or miss type of person with people.  She doesn't universally click with everyone and sort of easily gets on the bad foot with people.  It makes sense that with people out of her generation (not unlike April), she stumbles to connect and speak to them naturally.

The best thing about this story and possibly the whole episode was when Ron admitted to Ann that he loved Diane.  Aww!  Then to make it even better, Diane told him that she loved him and Ron said the same in the tiniest voice possible.  Yay!  Ron and Diane forever!

This was a pretty good episode, but I can't say that any of the stories were really that stronger than the other.  After that phenomenal last episode, I feel like I'm still expecting every story to be of the same caliber.  There were a few funny lines, and Tom's first try at basketball was one of the best jokes in there, but Ron's declaration of love for his girlfriend was the most awesome event of the episode.  Best of all, it wasn't anything I was expecting at all, making it a wonderful surprise.

Can't Brendon Be Done?

The Mindy Project, S01E12

Mindy decided to take Jeremy's advice and tried having casual sex instead of dating.  She chose Brendon since she was attracted to him, but didn't respect him.  Danny had a first date with the girl with the eye patch, but her wild ideas for the night scared him off to fake a work emergency before the date started.

 There were so many things wrong about Mindy trying to hook up with Brendon.  I mean, this was an idea essentially from Jeremy, who might be the king of casual sex, but not the best general idea guy around.  What works for him definitely isn't for Mindy.  She's too much of a romantic for that to be her cup of tea.  I might have changed my mind if she hadn't picked Brendon of all people.  Ugh.  He's not super good-looking in my opinion, and his personality is so irritating.  There's something so cocky and controlling about him that rubs me the wrong way. I wanted Mindy to have any excuse in the world to not go to his house.

It was just painful to watch Mindy's failed hookup the whole time.  I can't think of one part that was the most embarrassing to see--they were all equally terrible.  However, I did think it was sort of funny in an unlucky way when Mindy got caught in Brendon's automated shower.  She was screaming and trying to break free, while he was just strumming on his guitar without a care in the world.  I felt bad for her, but I also thought her flailing around in the water and glass walls was priceless.  I actually wish she had berated Brendon for her own mistake later, but she just played it cool.  I feel like she had suffered enough at that point and should have gone home way before Morgan and Duncan crashed the "party."  For me, Brendon is so not worth the trouble of all that.

I still wasn't feeling Brendon when he was able to get Morgan's asthma under control by relaxing him.  It was actually one of the first times I felt like what he does is a little like magic as the doctors have been calling it out of spite.  I think I just wasn't impressed by his moves because he kept making Mindy feel like an idiot and unneeded when he was doing his thing.  Yes, she was making the situation worse, but she was sort of his date that night--he didn't have to be a jerk to her.  Like that was one of my main problems--I didn't feel chemistry between them.

Finally, when Mindy threw in the towel to that horrible night of non-sex, I thought she had banned Brendon from her list of possible booty-calls.  Nope, she was still on board with the idea when Brendon declared they would hook up eventually.  What?  No!  Man, just write that up as a failure and never look back.  If only they didn't work in the same building.  I know I'm not going to love the episode where Brendon makes good on that promise.  At least, as of right now.  I'd almost rather her get drunk and sleep with Josh again.

Jillian turned out to a better match for Danny than I thought, mainly because she both exposes Danny's age in comical way and possibly makes him a little cooler.  I was excited to hear Jillian's plan for them that night and was looking forward to Danny wriggling around while he tried to hide his discomfort and lack of hipness.  Instead, Danny turned tail and ran away.  Disappointing, but not really shocking, I guess.  I'm sure that Danny would much rather take the coward's way out than look like a fool in front of a girl he liked.  He also had Mindy to think about because she was all up in Jillian's business.  He wouldn't be able to save face if he had to hide the fact that their date was a disaster.  Although, since Mindy's fling with Brendon was train wreck, she couldn't really rub it in his face.  At any rate, Jillian doesn't look like she's giving up on Danny yet.  I just wonder how old she is now that we know that Danny is 38.  He's a lot older than I thought, and yet his actions make him seem a lot older than he claimed.

I could have liked this episode more if I didn't have to see so much Brendon.  Can't say that I'm a fan of him yet.  I feel like his character is useful because he makes a good antagonist, but as a love interest for Mindy, I still think she could do better.   Maybe he'll show a side of him that really shows me there's more chemistry to them than I've seen, but I'm not counting on it.  Right now the sight of them together makes my stomach churn a little.  Danny and Jillian, on the other hand, seem pretty cute together.  It'll be interesting to see if she can get Danny to cut loose a little.  It's pretty clear that he could stand to loosen his collar once in a while.

Pepperwood And Pogos

New Girl, S02E14

Nick became convinced that one of Jess' most improved students was psychotic and dangerous.  When he snuck into the student's shed and saw pictures of a girl being murdered, Nick made Jess think her life was in danger.  Winston learned of his "pogo" and told Schmidt that he had one of his own.  When Schmidt's pogo came out, everyone else in the loft wanted to know theirs.

I don't know if we've yet to see how Jess' job has been going, but this was a good start.  I liked how her teachings relate to Nick's hobby as well.  I don't think he would have had an easy way to get involved with her student if he didn't consider himself a writer.  The more Nick identifies himself with writing, the more I like it, such as when he scoffed at Jess' idea of reading Edgar's story at first:

Writers don't read, we write.

However, more than being a writer in this episode, Nick started acting like a detective and sneaking around people's houses and breaking into sheds.  Wow, it's dangerous what Nick can do with some imagination and some free time.  I don't know if him breaking the law was worse or better than him showing up to Jess' class as a guy from Chicago named Julius Pepperwood.  I did like that his Chicago accent was heavier when he was Pepperwood and he was sort of flirting with Jess a little bit.  I feel like through his new persona a few of his hidden emotions came through.

The best part of him being Pepperwood, though, was when he was wrestling with Jess for that notebook.  At one point, it look like Nick was just grinding up behind Jess!  It looked so inappropriate, especially in front of her student.  But it was hilarious how they looked like they were fooling around.

What I didn't like about this story was that rude ass lady Edgar was dating.  Okay, sure, Jess and Nick were breaking and entering, so Jess probably deserved some mace, but she didn't need to call Jess a bitch for asking what was in the duffel bag.  Jess is way too nice because I would have thrown her attitude right back at her.  But Jess is way to sweet to bring it like that.  However, Jess did surprise me a little by attacking Edgar and jumping on his back.  She also said he'd have to kill her if Edgar wanted to kill Nick.  Why do we get to see a disgusting couple like Edgar and old lady, but we don't get to see Nick and Jess except suggestively?  Come on now.

In the other story, I thought it was awkward that Winston kept poking people with his penis so much that his roommates were talking about it behind his back.  I have to agree with Schmidt, though, that if he really wanted to take care of it he could just cover up better:

They make shoes for your penis--they're called pants!

As for Schmidt's pogo, I'm just surprised that with his extensive self-maintenance that he neglects his feet like that.  So he puts so much care into everything about himself but just stops at the feet?  So odd.  I liked that before Schmidt knew he kept pestering Winston with his guesses.  We could have enjoyed more things like him shaving his eyebrows (eww!) if Cece hadn't let the cat out of the bag.  She was sort of unnecessary around the house, except for the fact that she got "impaled" with Winston's friend downstairs.  She was particularly noisy about knowing her own pogo when I just wanted to know what Nick's was.  His turned out to be the best of them all because they don't talk shit about him--they were just concerned:

[Winston] We're worried about you.
[Nick] You're worried about me?
[Schmidt] We're worried you're not going to make it.
[Nick] Make it to what?
[Jess] Just in general.  Cuz you don't take care of yourself.

It had to be embarrassing for Nick, but it was so sweet that they all look after him in ways that he doesn't know about like slipping him vitamins and money.  But it was also funny because it made Nick seem like a big ol' mess, which he most certainly is.

This was a pretty good episode.  It was nice to see that Nick's writing thing is probably going to come up more times than I expected and that he's still writing.  I would even like to see him act out Pepperwood again one day because that guy is pretty funny, even if he's a horrible detective.  I want to see more of Jess and her students because with people like Edgar being in her class, it's gotta bring more good material for stories.  I also liked hearing everyone's pogos, but Nick's was definitely the best.  I'm easily won over by something that both makes me laugh and appreciate that Nick has such good friends watching his back.

Trading Z's For Some G's

2 Broke Girls, S02E12

The girls found out they had forgotten about a huge order of cupcakes due to their lack of sleep.  They snuck out of the diner earlier by faking an illness and tried to bake a thousand cupcakes in a limited time span while being extremely sleep deprived.

I was impressed by a lot of things in this story.  One being that Han is so nice that he keeps Caroline and Max around when they are sleeping blatantly in front of customers.  I guess he's just a super-understanding guy.  It was more amazing that after Max and Caroline faked being sick to cut work and then needed Han's help later, that he agreed.  He's just a big ol' sweetheart.  I mean, Max was piling on the short jokes and he still let them use his ovens.  They really owe him big.  The most impressive thing was that they were able to bake all those cupcakes in such a short time even with Earl and the others' help and especially since they ruined the majority of them at the near end.  Realistically, they shouldn't have been able to pull it off.  Not without one of them falling asleep in the oven or something.  A missing earring was like the least worst thing that could have happened.

I kept thinking there must have been some way they could have checked all those cupcakes without destroying them.  I mean, like sticking a toothpick or something in them?  I dunno.  Caroline probably wasn't thinking at full capacity when she just started tearing them up so quickly.  I would have tried to think of another way.  After all, once they covered them in frosting, I doubt anyone would notice a hole or two.  What a waste.  It was a bigger waste when you think about the earring not even being in any of them.  I guess it was just a way to add more drama and get that Andy issue out in the open.

I'll have to side with Caroline about it being a little weird that Max continued to be friends with Andy after the breakup.  They do have a good friendship and all, but there's no way for it not to be weird when Caroline and Andy still have some feelings for each other.  It would always be awkward and they wouldn't be able to keep Caroline completely out of it.  To my dismay, Andy did the right thing and broke up with Max too.  Aww.  They make such good besties.  Plus, Max loved all that free candy he could give her.  But she'd soon be looking like the worst friend ever to Caroline if she kept texting and talking to Andy as if nothing had happened.  Now I really wish Andy and Caroline would get back together some day.  Love the exchanges between Andy and Max that we'll not get to enjoy anymore.  Boo.

The funniest thing I found in this story was when Caroline was doing her guy voice terribly and she asked Max to let her hear hers.  Max responding that she's doing her guy voice right now was cute.  I liked it even better when Caroline and Max laughed at it together like they were going insane from lack of sleep.

Something that also caught my attention was when Max noted Andy's "Bradley Cooper tone."  He actually sort of looks like that actor--I wouldn't have noticed that before.  No wonder I think Andy is pretty good looking.  Which once again makes me sad if he's not going to make an appearance every now and then.

I liked this episode.  I don't know why, but it was sort of exciting to see hundreds of cupcakes being made.  It was incredible that they got it done in the state they were in and were able to collect $4,000 for it--damn.  If the girls keep this up, they may be in pretty good shape.  Just wish that Caroline and Andy's reunion was in good shape.  Unfortunately, it looks like the two have agreed to close the chapter on that book.  It doesn't stop me for wishing for their reconciliation, though!

Ted Dates A "Gossip Girl"

How I Met Your Mother, S08E14

Ted was dating a much younger girl that he couldn't seem to connect with, but Barney urged him to sleep with her anyway so he could live vicariously through Ted.  Robin realized that with her engagement ring on she lost the privilege of free stuff and attention from men.  Marshall continued to wear a leather bracelet that he was allergic to so he could dress according to Lily's fantasy.

I have to say that Ted dating a younger girl was much more interesting (or just interesting at all) because the actress playing her was from Gossip Girl.  Even though Ted looked pathetic and desperate dating someone he had nothing in common with, I just liked seeing her so into Ted.  I'm not sure why she would think he was like pushing 70 or 80, but it was sort of funny to think of someone as cute as her flirting with him.  It just seemed so unlikely even if she was into "hot grandpas" or something.   Her turning out to be Barney's half-sister was just a bonus, I guess.  Mostly because it made Ted's one night stand a little more significant.

It makes sense that Barney would want Ted to sleep with girls that he could never touch again, but it was still sort of creepy.  Luckily, after the first proxy bang turned out to be his sister, Barney was pretty much cured of that idea.  Otherwise, I could see this going on forever and Barney trying to convince Ted to do more and more depraved things like Barney was known for.  However, since Ted had suggested he was still seeing some other little girl in the end, I guess he didn't need Barney to keep him on that path at all.

Robin's "problem" was mildly entertaining.  After showing us this ridiculous song and dance number about how she receives free stuff all the time for being "beautiful," it was a nice contrast to see her being invisible.  Also, it was interesting that she was willing to learn to pay for everything as long as it wasn't alcohol.  Apparently that was taking it too far.  I liked that she accepted that it was far better to just have eyes for Barney than to get free stuff, especially when Barney could fetch her a drink any time she wanted.  The best thing about Robin's story was when Marshall was explaining her invisibility in Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter terms, and Robin wasn't getting it.  She respectively called the first explanation tailored for "nerds" and the second for "virgins."  I don't know why someone who was a cheesy Canadian pop star thinks she is so high on the cool scale.  Please.

I could have done without Marshall and Lily's little thing about the bracelet.  Although, it's sort of funny that Marshall was turned on by Lily being in mom jeans and the fantasy of her being a typical mom.  That's so Marshall.

I guess I liked this episode in terms of Barney and Robin getting used to the idea of being unavailable.  It's not the first time Barney's been engaged, but I suppose it's the first time he's felt like it's a sure thing, so I can see him needing to go through a process before becoming a married man.  Ted needs to stop wasting his time with little girls.  I say that, but he is less annoying when he's dating for fun than when he's moping around because he's failed to find his soul mate.  Still, since we know that anyone he's seeing up until the wedding is just a pitstop on the way to his wife, his dating life seems less appealing to watch.  Next time, I just wish they would skip ahead a few months to where the wedding is just around the corner.  I'm way too eager to get a glimpse of this mystery woman.

Rump Saves Belle, But Wants Death For Others

Once Upon A Time, S02E12

Emma and the others tried to save the life of a mysterious newcomer to town, even though they were worried that he might have discovered Storybrooke's secret.  Dr. Whale deserted his duties at the hospital, still haunted by his past where he tried to bring his brother back to life.  Rumpelstiltskin tried to jumpstart Belle's memories in vain and received a gift from Cora to help him locate his son.  Cora found Regina and convinced her that her only goal was to repair their broken bound as mother and daughter.

I was pretty distracted by Hook getting run over and Belle getting shot and losing her memories to think too much about what problems a stranger could bring to their town until Rump very expertly laid it down to the group of Emma, her parents, Red, and Grumpy.  He not only let them know that this guy Greg could have seen him tossing fire around, but suggested they let him die.  I liked that they didn't immediately reject Rump's idea, as cruel as it might have seen.  I mean, the guy did run over a person, so it's not like Greg was completely innocent.  Although, not so guilty that he deserved to be killed by them.

Rump had instantly healed Belle, of course, but when Whale asked him to do the same for Hook who was suffering from internal bleeding, Rump did not give one damn.  I mean, why would he?  He kicked Hook's ass and was ready to choke him if Emma and Charming hadn't stopped him.  Still, it was funny that Whale thought Rump would be decent enough to save his enemy's life.  Um, did he just meet Rump yesterday or something?

Belle, with no memory, might as well have just met Rump because she has no emotional attachment  to him now.  It was sweet that he had kissed her while she was sleeping (perhaps in an attempt to cure her with true love?), but despite that I'm sad that Belle and Rump's romance has been put on hold, when she woke up from the kiss and screamed, I had to laugh.  He seemed like such a pervert!  Since I know it's not true, it was funnier than I expected.  Plus, he just hurried out of the room like he had done something really wrong.  Poor Rump.

The situation hit a sadness peak when Rump came back with the chipped cup that Belle had held dear.  I thought maybe he was onto something there, but Belle fought back against him so hard as if he was trying to inject her with poison or something.  You can't blame her when he's talking about him living in a castle and magic when none of those things make sense to her.  At that point, I knew that Rump was going to fail, but I didn't think Belle would throw the cup and shatter it!  Oh, no!  I felt like a piece of their relationship had been shattered.  It was pretty awful to see those shards on the floor and watch Rump leave defeated.  Thank God, I guess, that he's leaving town so he doesn't have to go through the torture of reminding Belle of a past that has been erased from her mind.

When Rump did decide to leave town, I thought it was going to be on pretty good terms.  Like him just packing his bags and disappearing before he killed himself over Belle or killed Hook for revenge.  Strange enough (or perhaps not so strange since she's not a prisoner to Storybrooke), he decided to not go alone and take Emma.  What?  Emma does specialize in finding people (family trait, I suppose), but why her?  Even if he had a favor to cash in, it seems sort of a waste to bring Emma when he has that globe from Cora to tell him Bae's location.  I mean, it seemed like before Belle got shot, he was going to leave on his own in the first place.  Maybe I misread what he was doing and he was only testing his talisman at that time.  I dunno.  But if taking Emma wasn't bad enough Rump also announced that he was going to kill the whole Charming family if Belle was hurt in his absence--damn!  To me, that came out of nowhere.  Since when did he need to threaten their family like they had done something to him (it should be the other way around)?  Maybe that was his way of asking them to watch over her for him, but it just looked like he was just so angry at them.  I'm actually pretty frightened for them all (although his threat did make me laugh).

We finally got to see Regina and thankfully she hadn't fallen into her mother's hands.  Or so I had thought.  Cora didn't have to do very much before she had Regina crying on her shoulder and taking her advice about how to get Henry back.  Regina, you freaking idiot!  Your mother doesn't even know what the word "sincere" means!  I was a little proud that Regina was just going to take her mother and make her explain how Regina was innocent, but then Cora used her feelings for Henry to make her into her puppet again.  Damnit!  Not looking forward to the "ideas" that Cora had mentioned. Regina's going to end up losing Henry for good with that old hag's help.

There's not much I wanted to say about Whale's past.  I really couldn't care less with all the other more dire things going on.  Who has time to worry about Frankenstein lamenting about turning his brother into a monster?  The only thing that was interesting was him meeting Rump.  Not really sure why Rump wanted to learn Whale's technique for rising the dead.  Maybe it was all just a ruse to get Whale to meet Regina and for Regina to see that reviving Daniel wasn't going to happen.  Not sure.  But anyway, I couldn't enjoy the look into the past when I was so worried about what was happening in the present.

In the end, it looks like everyone should have listened to Rump (as pretty much always) because Greg had indeed seen Rump's magic.  I really wonder what the consequences of that will be?  I mean, who the hell would believe what Greg had seen without proof?  I can't imagine what he saw being enough to convince anyone else.  Unless, as Henry had suggested, there are other people from other worlds in the Storybrooke world that they just don't know about and Greg is from one of them.  Who knows--the possibility is just endless.

This episode was a lot less sadder than I anticipated.  I was worried that I wouldn't be able to watch Rump interact with Belle who has no memory of him or herself.  Their love problems were less pronounced by Emma's group trying to decide to kill or save Greg.  Unfortunately, they probably would have been better off killing him now that he knows what Rump can do.  There was also little time to worry about Belle when Regina was falling into her mother's hand again with hardly enough resistance.  I think when you consider Emma's going on a road trip with Rump and Regina's succumbing to her mother's ploy, Belle's memory lost doesn't seem so terrible.

Archer Does Bob's Burgers

Archer, S04E01

The team at ISIS found Archer, but due to his memory loss, they tried to gradually remind himself of his spy life by staging a fake attack on his life.  When the fake attack turned into a real attack by the KBG agents after Archer, Lana and Archer had to work together to hold them off.

It feels like it's been forever since the season finale.  I didn't remember at all where we had left off, so I didn't know what to expect.  However, I was absolutely thrilled when I saw it started at Bob's Burger shop.  Freaking awesome!  I mean, I don't like that show so much, but to see that Archer was going to parody it when Archer is voiced by the same guy as Bob (H. Jon Benjamin is such a good actor), was amazing!  Archer had this mustache that oddly suited him as he flipped burgers in Bob's outfit and was talking to Louise, Gene, and Tina drawn in this show's style.  It got even better when Linda popped up and she was the same voice as from Bob's Burgers.  The kids didn't talk at all, but I sort of liked that (because you know those kids have never been quiet for that long in their whole lives).  I absolutely loved the way the were drawn too--the art style on Archer is really pleasing to the eye, so it was interesting to see Linda actually attractive.  Like, in this universe, I could see how Archer might marry her even with three kids attached.  Haha.  Another thing that was funny was that he was talking about the kids and he couldn't remember Tina's name.  That was on point.

I think I forgot how violent this show is.  It has to have been a while.  Watching Archer as Bob murder four guys with a spatula and coffee pot was great.  It made me think if they did this on Bob's Burgers, I might like it tons more than I do right now.  I just wonder since Archer did marry Linda is he just going to leave her forever or is he going to stay with her (at least on paper?).  Probably not, now that I think about Archer.  He's not the type to do the decent thing.  Unless he was just thinking about their safety in general because Archer is a magnet for death and destruction.  Oh, and it was funny how after Archer had killed all those guys you saw a slight smile on Louise's face.  Now that is really like her character--the real Louise would have been praising Archer up and down and asking him to teach her those moves.

I was so impressed by the beginning that I didn't really care too much what happened in the rest of the episode.  I sort of hoped that Archer wouldn't remember because he's an asshole.  Not that he wasn't a bit of a jerk as Bob, but he wasn't as bad.  But I couldn't imagine how the show would work with him continuing to think he needed to go shopping for cheese and stuff.

The only thing I liked was that Barry was shown.  I forgot how much I like him.  He's freaking crazy and apparently still stalking Archer from outer space.  Damn, when he gets down finally, Archer's going to get his ass kicked again.  Hopefully, they'll realize that Barry is monitoring their movements before it's too late.

Um, got to say I loved this episode because of the parody.  I watched it for a second time and I was still laughing and enjoying the cross-over.  I think this was really necessary to get me invested in the show again because I'm still having trouble remember what happened last season.  But right now if they keep doing cool surprises like they did in this premiere, I think I can still go along with this show no matter if I'm not quite up to speed yet.

The Greatest Party Night

Parks and Recreation, S05E10

Leslie's bachlorette party celebration was sidetracked when Leslie was stuck on Jamm building on the park site ahead of their agreement.  She spent the night not enjoying herself, but trying to recover some Native American artifacts she had planted that she mistakenly thought would help.  Ben and the guys also held Ben's bachelor party, which started out as a board game and beer and turned a night that fulfilled all the guys' dream parties that they were never able to celebrate before they got married.

I liked how I envisioned Leslie's party to be non-stop fun and Ben's to be boring as hell, but it was the complete opposite.  Leslie really had no chance for fun when that bastard went back on his deal and pushed forward with his plan for the lot with that lady (don't remember her name).  Should have known that guy wouldn't be good to his word.  Even though his ass tactics made Leslie do something really inappropriate like plant artifacts, I was happy to see that she realized her mistake right away.  It didn't help her celebrate her night any better since she exhausted herself and her friends (save Donna who was chilling in a lawn chair with a drink like a boss) retrieving as many as she could, but it helped her remain a better person than Jamm.  I think I would have been really disappointed if Jamm was turning her into some kind of monster who would exploit another culture just to suit her own agenda.

My favorite part of Leslie's story was when she came clean to Ken.  He ended up being impressed by her honesty and covered for her mistake.  I liked that he took a liking to her, but I loved when he started using "white man guilt" upon Jamm: 

[Ken] I would like to go on record, speaking as a citizen of Pawnee, I do not like the way you went back on your deal with Councilwoman Knope.  It reminds me of what the settlers of Pawnee did to my ancestors: taking their land without permission.

[Leslie, in interview] He really plays white people like a fiddle.  Wow.  It's amazing to watch.

[Ken] You and Leslie had a deal.  If that deal is not restored, well, I believe there are six Paunch Burgers in the Wamapoke casino.  Perhaps it's time that we re-visted those contracts.

[Lady] Is that a threat?

[Ken] Why, yes.  I thought that was obvious.

[Lady] Take the sign down. We'll wait until everything is official.

[Leslie] In the spirit of fair play, I suggest we put on these authentic Wamapoke headdresses and dance around the table.

[Jamm] Absolutely not.  That sounds highly offensive.

[Ken] Does it, white man?

[Jamm] No.  It's not offensive, so let's do it.  

[Ken] You first.

[Jamm] So clearly this is not offensive.

[Ken] It is offensive.

[Jamm] I'm very sorry.

Leslie made a new friend, and Jamm was sweating in his seat like someone had found porn magazines in his desk.  Love seeing Leslie win like that, especially when she does it by being completely honest.

Ben's story was really cute.  I loved how everyone had their little moment to enjoy something, and how amazing Chris was to organize it all.  Especially when he was able to make Andy's dream with the Colts come partially true.  He was the ultimate best man for each and every one of them.  And in the end after he graciously accepted his friends' award for his efforts on that night, I was impressed that Chris didn't get hung up on the fact he was the only one he hadn't ever been married.  He was just happy that he was enjoying life with his friends.  As a bonus, now that Chris has more internal peace with himself, he gets introduced him to a new girl who might be Chris' new girlfriend down the road.  He deserves it.

Of course, some of my favorite lines in this story came from Ron.  He was particularly funny when the guys went to Essence via Tom's suggestion.  I loved how quickly he realized that this bar was not for him:

[Ron just before they left] Son, there's no wrong way to consume alcohol.

[Waiter] Here's your Bud Light.

[Andy] I ordered a beer.

[Waiter] That is a beer.  And here's your nimbus martini.  May I go ahead a chisel your rhombus sphere?

[Tom] Please.

[Ron] This is the wrong way to consume alcohol.

The conversation was only made more hilarious by the bizarre drinks they were handed.  Tom couldn't have picked a funnier place for them to go.  It was completely excellent.  It only got better when Ron was given his "drink," asked to hold out his hands, and the waiter rubbed lotion on them:

[Ron] What's happening?

[Tom] Oh, this is sort of a play on scotch.   It's a whiskey-infused lotion.

[Ron] Can I ask if this entire establishment is a practical joke of some kind?

Not only Ron's reaction to that was priceless, but Andy's face too was hilarious.  I could have just had the episode about them ordering stuff from that bar all night long.

Ron also had this cute moment when they were doing Jerry's thing.  He was eating ice cream and it was totally all over his mustache, but he didn't even seem to notice.  I sort of wished he had stayed like that throughout the rest of the night.

When they were doing Ron's thing, I like how he made it seem he was going to confess something personal about his relationship with Diane, but all he said was that he liked her.  I also liked Chris' toast to Ron that he made very short to cater to Ron's style--that was really nicely done.  The best part of them being at the steakhouse, though, was when Roy Hibbert showed up and treated the guys to dinner.  When he saw Tom, he was still bitter about his former employment with him:

[Roy] Hey, Tom.  I am not paying for that guy.  He owes me a lot of money.

[Tom] It's true.

I love reminders of Tom's failed business.  It was so ridiculous that it doesn't deserve to die quietly.

Tom also had a good moment when he interrupted Jerry who was about to tell a story of why he didn't get his bachelor party:

[Tom, after bopping Jerry on the head] Boop! That's me hitting the snooze button.  Don't talk again for another ten minutes.

Really, there was just too much goodness packed in this episode--I loved it.  I laughed really hard and I also felt warm inside by the guys bonding and by Ken helping out Leslie even though she messed up.  I think I could watch this episode over and over again.  If only everything I watched was this great even half of the time.  It'd be TV paradise.

It Has To Mean Something

Suburgatory, S02E09

George was forced to hide and help Fred when he was trying to keep secrets about the nature of his job hidden from Shelia.  Tessa, left alone on pain medication, freaked out about aliens stealing teeth after she had gotten her wisdom teeth pulled.  Dallas thought George was only humoring her when he agreed they were ready for "joint decor."  Ryan tried to figure out where he stood with Tessa when came to deliver her homework.

Sadly for George he had a front seat to another chapter of Shay Family Crazy Time.  It was fine for him to give Fred shelter while he worked out his problems, but when Shelia got involved, it was a lot more trouble than it was worth.  I was nearly thinking it was a waste of his time to hide Fred until Fred asked George to go to his house to steal a gift basket that would reveal his real job.  I liked when he tried to walk into the house and ran into Ryan.  They were both trying their best not to seem suspicious to the other.  If George wasn't after that basket, he might have considered what Ryan was sort of suggesting about his intentions with his daughter.  It got even better when Lisa caught him about to walk out of the door.  The two of them had my favorite lines from the story:

[George] I'm not stealing.

[Lisa] I don't care.

It cracks me up that Lisa can look at her neighbor creeping around in her house and not give a damn about what he might be trying to do.  You would think she would be the slightest bit curious, but no.  Lisa always keeps me on my toes because I never know how she's going to react to things.

I have no idea how the hell Fred got from the basement to an ariport shuttle outside when it looked like Shelia was about to gas the basement.  I suppose that's one of those mysteries like when George got the cardboard in the previous episode.  I don't care if Shelia did know his secret after all (not a surprise).  I was just glad Fred was gone from their house.

Tessa was amazing this week because we got to see a side of her we usually don't.  She tends to be pretty cool and collected, but under medication she was so paranoid and wide-eyed.  I loved it.  She was really cute when she was throwing juice at Fred and scared that George and Dallas' souls had been captured in crystal.  I really like seeing characters act outside of their norm for a while.  It's funny to see a different side of them, especially when that side is high and insane.

My favorite part of the episode, though was when Tessa had gotten her mind back and Ryan had visited her.  That whole scene between them was just so great from start to finish.  I loved Ryan putting the sock around her head and telling her she looked like a bunny, him saying that their kiss and his attraction to her has to mean something, and him arguing that they could work because opposites attract.  It just makes me smile when I think about their conversation, even if they haven't quite decided if they're going to give their relationship another shot.  But I'm really hoping that Tessa takes a chance on Ryan again.  He was just so sweet with her that I'm dying to see more scenes like this.  They just have to get together again!

Dallas and George moved into the "joint decor" phase of their relationship, which I wasn't sure that he was really feeling.  But thanks to Tessa (who was also to blame a little bit for the problem in the first place), Dallas learned that George really liked that crystal picture of them sitting on the couch.  Personally, I would think that a picture would have been better, but I guess nothing says Dallas like something etched in crystal, so it might be the best way for George to be reminded of her every time he looks at it (you know, besides her face staring back at him). They're moving along pretty well recently, which is good, but I feel like they might have some kind of bump soon (just because nothing goes this well in TV or life, I guess).

I have to say I just loved this episode because of Tessa and Ryan.  Tessa was so funny when she was shouting about signs of sixes and aliens.  We'll probably never get to see her so unraveled again.  Of course, that was nothing compared to her scene with Ryan.  That has to be one of my favorite moments in this show yet.  If they don't get together again, I'm going to flip out.  They may not be perfect together, but you can't help but wish for them to give it a try anyway.  Like Dallas suggested: if George and her can make it work, then opposites like Tessa and Ryan have a chance at happiness as well.

Mindy's Not Ready For Kids

The Mindy Project, S01E11

Mindy was left to look after Riley when Gwen's arm got broken from a poorly constructed bunk bed that Danny had put together.  In an attempt to find a magazine to replace Facebook that Danny had banned, Betsy and Shauna discovered a very intimate letter addressed to Danny's ex-wife.

This story said a lot about Mindy and children.  I guess I just figured with her sort of nurturing personality, she would be so good with Riley.  Not only did she act like she's never been around a child in her life, but she also forgot her existence and didn't seem to want to be left alone with her.  She was even freaking out that she might be made the legal guardian for Riley after Gwen had a slight accident (guess she already forgot about Carl).  I think it's sort of assumed that women who are eager to get married also want children, but that's not necessarily the case.  Mindy surely showed that she's not ready to have kids nor might not even want them.  I mean, she didn't even know how to comfort Riley--she was patting her face as if she was lightly slapping her.  That was sort of funny, but it was mostly sad that even that was difficult for her.  She probably would have had a better time building that bunk bed than getting along with Riley.

I don't how I feel about Danny making that bunk bed.  He has to like Mindy to some degree to do that for her.  I mean, even if he likes putting things together, I doubt that he would go through the trouble.  Or maybe that was a way for him to have "fun."  He seems like the type that if he's keeping the office open on Saturdays, he must not have a very social life going on.

Also related to Danny and Mindy's attraction is the fact that Mindy told Gwen that Danny was the "handsome jerk."  I don't think Danny's that good looking, but he can certainly be a jerk.  I'm guessing if he can turn around that unpleasant personality of his, Mindy would fall for him.  Hell, I think she's already started to fall for him, but his gruff attitude keeps her at arms length and she mistakes their conflicts for their attraction.  Anyway, there's definitely something there, and I'm sure one day it'll grow to something significant.

Danny's love life was also the focus back in the office when Shauna and Betsy found that letter.  If it was me, I wouldn't have been able to hear what he had written, just like Morgan.  That was really personal and it contrasted against Danny's tyrant behavior at work.  It's good to see that he is a human being underneath and has feelings.  I just wonder if he's ever going to let some of them leak out so everyone else knows.  Maybe after his ex-wife gets the letter that Morgan took it upon himself to mail he might get emotional for once.  I'm not looking forward to seeing that, especially if it gets Morgan into trouble.  He's such a lovable idiot.

The only thing that was really funny was when Danny was complaining about the girls using "Facebooks" too much.  He kept naming social networks where the names weren't quite right like "Tweester."  And funnier than that he just started saying random words like "blogs" and "url."  Why was he talking like he's a senior citizen?  He claimed that he and Mindy are from the same generation, but he seems to have missed the memo about these sorts of sites and is as clueless as an 80 year-old man.  I like that he might be a smart guy, but he's not really a hip guy.  It allows a lot of opportunities for him to be embarrassed like he was in this story.

This was an okay episode.  It could have used a few more jokes, but I didn't pay attention too much to the lack of comedy because we learned some important things about Mindy and Danny.  There's also more suggestion that they might come to like each other in the future.  If nothing else, their attraction is still there, so they might act upon that.  With Mindy having such bad luck with dates, she might need to stop looking around and take a look at someone she already knows and works with.