Pillows Versus Blankets, Part One

Community, S03E13

The stories of Jeff apologizing to the mysterious Kim who sent him a hate letter before "she died" and Shirley and Pierce's using Greta as a pawn to bring down a personified version of Subway Corporation were nothing to the story of Abed and Troy starting a war over a pillow and blanket fort.  This was an unfinished story, so it's unclear whether the rivalry between the best TV duo I know is going to end up being a permanent thing.  Despite that the vice-dean had a hand in creating the rift between these friends, my dislike of Abed continues in this episode.

I have little to say about the non-Abed Troy stories, but I was interested in one aspect of Greta's story.  The man who played Subway was Travis Schuldt!  No matter what I see him in, I will always see him as the original Ethan Winthrop from Passions.  I don't think I've seen him since his short-lived role on Srubs.  In this episode, he managed to sweep someone as cynical as Greta off her feet and was his usual charming self (Ethan was always pretty hot).  It's too bad he had depraved sex with Greta and the corporation took him away and replaced him with a less handsome look-alike.  He and Greta could have made a cute couple.  And it would have been nice to see her in love instead of being the source of negativity for everyone.

Now onto to Troy versus Abed.  I worried if the tension we saw last week would still be there this week, and it totally was, even though it looked like the two were fine.  Nothing says Abed and Troy like a pillow fort, but thanks to the dean suggesting that they go for the Guinness Book of World Records for a fort made of either pillows or blankets, Troy started to feel second-rate to Abed.  It's so hard for me to abandon all of the love I have for such an unique character like Abed, but through Troy I see how selfish he can be.  Troy was eager to take on the challenge of breaking the record, but Abed (although, wanting no glory from building a fort beyond the fun they could have) ignored Troy's desire completely.  No wonder it was so easy for the vice dean to whisper in his ear that Abed didn't respect his opinion--he wasn't lying!  When Abed was telling him how to stack the pillows before he told Troy to basically go ahead and waste his time building a pillow fort but he wasn't going to help, I was almost a little happy that Troy ran off.  I say little because I don't want them to fight!  But I understand why Troy would feel like he wasn't important to Abed unless Troy was doing something for him.  

I changed my mind a little about Abed later when he rather easily agreed to tear down his fort in order to make room for Troy's (so he does care about Troy's desires?), but of course, the vice-dean came and interfered right before Abed pulled the crucial sock (I guess that would have sent everything crashing down?).  After that, Abed wasn't backing down, nor was Troy, so they were both the leaders of their own little pretend forts.  Seeing them stand on opposite sides broke my heart, but at the same time it was a little exciting to see.  They usually work together, so if they go against each other, which one of them would win?  I wouldn't be mad if they resolved their issues easily after one heart-to-heart talk (because I love them together and I don't care about plot when that's concerned), but I doubt it will happen if they are going to drag out the story until next time.  And what sort of fights will they have with pillows and blankets?  That's extremely interesting to me.

If the next episode can turn to anything like that fabulous paintball story, I will die.  That was insanely cool!  I didn't think they would do anything like that again any time soon, since they just brought back Community and all, but perhaps they're playing all their cards while they can (who knows if someone stupid will try to cancel their prematurely again?).  I can't wait for the conclusion of Team Abed versus Team Troy!

Leonard Nimoy, The Voice Of Sheldon's Conscience

Big Bang Theory, S05E20

Penny surprised the boys with a Star Trek toy to make up for all of the free food she has taken from them.  Sheldon decided to open his box after his Spock figure told him in a dream that playing with new toy was the most logical thing to do, but he broke it within a minute and switched his broken toy with Leonard's.  Raj also tried to find a woman to wed, but found himself contemplating whether being alone is worse than a phony marriage.

I will say that Penny, as much as I don't care for her, really knows how to please a nerd.  I was skeptical at first that she would actually get a gift that Sheldon and Leonard would love, but she passed the test with flying colors.  If anyone, though, was going to give into temptation and open the box, I would have thought it would be Leonard.  But I guess when Spock appears to you in a dream and tells you what to do, you better throw away all the "codes of geekdom" and open the box.

It was incredibly funny when Sheldon was talking to his Spock figure and the voice coming out of it was actually Leonard Nimoy.  It also liked that Spock kept changing positions when the camera moved away from him.  This was almost better than Nimoy being there himself.  It's interesting that Sheldon won't listen to most people's opinions, but a dream Spock (not even the flesh kind either) is someone's words he can't easily ignore.  Even though I can hardly see Sheldon being categorized with the rest of the human race, this manifestation of his conscience through an action figure (although it supports the theory he's more than a little insane), make Sheldon less of an ass than he seems.  I mean, it's Sheldon's dream, so when Nimoy was shouting at him to do the right thing and return Leonard's unbroken toy, it had to be Sheldon's guilt gnawing at him.

The best part of Sheldon battling with his Nimoy conscience was when Sheldon was defending his choice to switch the boxes.  Leonard would never open his box and never know what Sheldon had done:

[Sheldon] Everybody's happy.[Spock] Well, I am unhappy.[Sheldon] I thought where you come from they don't have emotions.[Spock] I come from a factory in Taiwan.

 I think that I could watch Sheldon and little Spock talk to each other all day.  Despite the understanding that Spock and Sheldon seemed to have reached, Sheldon still leaves the broken toy with Leonard, and then lies over and over again to cover what he has done before he finally tells the truth.  Sheldon was the most honest when he told Leonard that he didn't want him to be happy with his toy and hoped he'd break it.  Damn, Sheldon.  Did you learn nothing from Nimoy??

I felt bad for Raj and the story about his failure of a matchmaking.  I wasn't surprised that his parents thought he was going to come out to them because it sounded that way to me too.  I was surprised that in New Delhi everyone already thinks that Raj is in the closet.  It's sad that Raj has to defend himself so much, but it's no wonder with his metrosexual tendencies.  I don't know why Bernadette and Howard thought it was a good idea to give him a little "rich girl" puppy he could carry in his "man purse" (Raj, really??).  Either he will forsake human contact for puppy love or he'll just repel more women who think they don't have a shot because they will think he he is secretly into men.  Fine, Raj is lonely and maybe a dog might take awau a little of his troubles, but this isn't what I meant at all by tossing him a bone!  Come on!  Raj could date someone.  Even if it's not true love.  A puppy, indeed!

Good episode, though.  It's been a couple of weeks since I've seen this show, so I wasn't sure if I actually missed it.  If they had more episodes like this one, I probably would anticipate Thursday a little more.

Stop The Lies. Cuz It Ain't Funny

Happy Endings, S02E20

Penny began a web of lies to avoid an old friend named Daphne, that leads to a fake baby shower and tangles all of her friends within it.  You would think someone who owns a "lieble" would know how to lie a little better, but Penny was simply awful at it (not that her friends were any better).  It was almost like a contest to see who could make the lies worse than the last person (I might have to hand the prize to Alex, whose lies seemed the most unnecessary of all).  Usually I like when one of them takes a problem that could be handled easily and makes it into a monstrously complicated issue, but this time I just wanted Penny to hurry up and tell the truth because it wasn't doing her friends any good, nor doing any good for me humor-wise.

As pushy as Daphne seemed to be, I liked that she kept cornering everyone until they felt so pressured they had no choice but to lie.  I mean, she was all up in their faces and making them feel like bad people (they were right to worry if they would look like mean people because they are).  I liked seeing everyone being on the spot, and Daphne's dead-serious concern about all the excuses they created.

Another nuisance who made an appearance in the episode was Max and Dave's landlord who was trying to cock-block (and evict) the two based on little more than jealousy.  I didn't care for his iron fist attitude toward subletters, but when he questioned them about a purse and Max said it was his, that was a really funny scene.  Max tried to act all stereotypically gay so that the landlord wouldn't know it was Alex's purse, and the guy was so adamant that Max better be as homosexual as he claimed to be.  I don't know what that was about (he was pointing at Max as if they would be hell to pay otherwise) but it made me laugh.  Maybe he just didn't want another Dave living in his building who would be bringing home more beautiful women that he couldn't date himself.

But the best example of comedy in this episode was Max's invention of the trash oven.  It could cook a brisket in 18 hours and emitted such deadly fumes that Dave was certain it would kill them while they slept.  I thought that his homemade infomercial for his oven was so ghetto, but hilarious.  He even came up with a catch phrase:

Set it and forget it.  (Don't forget it.  You gotta keep an eye on it or it will burn your house down.)

If that wasn't enough to make you pick up the phone and buy Max's product, there was a disclaimer that "hand burns are unrelated" when Max finally showed us his hands were bandaged heavily.  Oh, man.  At least with his hands injured we can be sure he won't be building anything else that might burn or suffocate someone to death.

I find myself unable to really enjoy stories that have Penny at the heart of them and maybe it's because she's more of a heavy stone around the others' necks than any one else.  I mean, there was really no reason that the gang all had to start lying (and they did so on their free will), but if Penny hadn't initiated it and made Daphne seem like the black plague, maybe the truth would have come out quicker.  I kinda wish that Daphne had gotten a bit more upset and really made Penny learn a lesson.  But I'll forgive the six of them for not being so funny when they were so cute about the lake house Jane and Brad were thinking of getting.  All of them are such loveable dorks.

Randall, The Problem And Solution

Ugly Americans, S02E13

There was a roasting for Twayne (not "Twaine" as I've been misspelling his name) this week, but Mark unsurprisingly couldn't tell a good joke if every comedian in the world was channeling through his body.  Randall supplied him with material that not only was worse than anything Mark would have come up with (by himself Mark would have only gotten silence instead of things thrown at him), but also was so hurtful to Twayne that he gave up his job to Mark.  Mark only had the job for one day, but his decisions instantly put the entire city into chaos and almost caused its destruction.  Although, this all looked like Mark screwed up, it was Randall who made him say all of those horrible things.  But I guess Randall can be forgiven since it was also him who made Twayne come back to his job and smooth things over with the goose people (and stop the bomb from destroying the town).  Still, when will Mark learn to not listen to his moron roommate in the first place?

Listening to Randall, of course, can bring no good, but I didn't think that after Mark got his new title that he would so easily ruin the peace that Twayne somehow created through an excessive birthday celebration system at the DOI.  I mean, they spend so much money and effort on making cakes, cards, and singing a birthday song, but they pay their employees so little?  It's more than outrageous. I can understand why Mark would want to cut the Birthday Department (although, truly it was Leonard who canned everyone).

It was interesting that there is an assembly for all the different species and at heart, they are all held together by cake frosting, when you think about it.  I wonder if had Mark destroyed the budget on anyone else's birthday except Goose Kevin's, would the same thing have happened?  I guess what happened sort of reflects what happens all the time between nations:  a little thing sets off one nation and the next thing you know, there's a full-scaled war.  Of course, we wouldn't be laughing as much because there's no way it could be over something as trivial as a birthday party.

Another interesting point is that as stupid as I thought Twayne to be, he has the job of director down to a science.  It sounds hard to believe that a man who does nothing but have lunch all day and helps chefs create delicious cakes is actually protecting lives.  The most amazing part of his job is that he thinks that if he points out a problem, then someone will definitely come along and solve it for him.  Well, Goose Kevin surely did this time.  It was nice that things worked out so easy, but it was strange to me that the bomb Kevin took off to safety didn't explode in a bigger way (since it was going to destroy the whole town).  I just thought the explosion was a little small.  Maybe it's just me.

Lastly, I have to comment on Randall doing nearly nothing to help Twayne get over his self-loathing.  I kept forgetting what he was doing with Twayne in the first place after watching them do all these random things like have Twayne stuck in a bag full of nothing but cats.  I guess his real purpose was to take advantage of Twayne for a while with the illusion that he was going to "cure" him.  He was just damn lucky that he did.  And it's only right that he did, since his insensitive jokes were the ones that sent Twayne into a shame spiral in the first place.

I liked this story because it showed the significance of Twayne's job.  At times he seems like nothing more than a buffoon, so it's nice to see that he's an essential part of the balance for peace.  Now, if only we could get Randall to stop tipping the scale whenever it seems convenient for him.  Of course, I won't leave Mark out of the blame, since he is always letting Randall use him as a puppet for chaos.  How I would love Mark so much more if only he could not be under Randall's thumb all the time.  Oh, and the preview for the next episode shows that Callie has turned into a man and is voiced by H. Jon Benjamin!  I think that might be really hilarious to see!

Who Doesn't Love Memes? South Park, Apparently

South Park, S16E03

I wondered if the big joke yesterday was going to be about the upcoming election, but instead it was about the certain fads that go along with memes.  I'm not fully acquainted with those (having just recently understood what "meme" even means), but the general idea of the story wasn't entirely lost to me.  Stan and the others found out what is popular and cool with the masses one day, will soon be lame and irrelevant the next.  The boys find a rain of sunshine amidst this grim reality that their favorite meme ("Faith Hilling") may be looked upon as a relic, but there's nothing wrong with sticking to what you love, especially if you can somehow bring it back with a bang like Cartman was able to do in the end.  

There isn't much that I absolutely loved about this story, as it was poking fun at the futility of trying to stay on top of what is "hot" with memes, but I think I liked that they made it seem like following trends like "planking" or what have you, had the possibility of getting you killed.  Luckily, it never came to that where the boys were concerned, but that film the students had to watch in class was pretty ridiculous.  The train gag at the heart of that film that appeared several more times in the episode (including the end) was less funny each time, though.  

I think what missed the mark for me most was that I didn't know some of the references (not unusual for me at all).  The one that bothered me the most was the one with the cat that kept saying "Oh, Long Johnson."  I've never been a fan of "cute" animal videos in the first place, so not only did I not know of this cat's popularity, I also didn't care.  But it, unlike some of the other internet fads, it wasn't just mentioned but was used as a part of the rising danger against the humans (super intelligent animals who were able to create memes of their own--bah), so I was had to endure that irritation throughout most of the episode.

This was a good episode that captured a moment in time (like many episodes of South Park in general) and made it more amusing than the actual thing itself (the number of memes and their various popularity are not that interesting alone).  I learn about some fad/news through this show, and I'm grateful that they "educate" some of us about current yet, stupid or infuriating matters.  Years later, I think I could look back at this episode and others and recall "history" with a laugh.  It's much better than looking through old magazines or newspapers.

Everyone Seems To Be Getting Dumber

New Girl, S01E18

Jess' romance with Russel continues with a bang!  Just kidding. It starts off with a hearty pat on the back, which leads Jess to wonder what Russel's attraction was to her in the first place.  Cece and Schmidt struggle for dominance in their relationship, but ultimately have to decide to become public about their relationship.  Winston finds out that a little space from Shelby is more than he can bear.  And the best story of all (please know that I am joking), Nick fawns over his old law school buddy who is the "smartest guy he knows." I was underwhelmed by each of these stories.

I just have to say right away that Cece and Schmidt need to finally come out the closet (or the trunk) about their relationship.  If it wasn't for border control or customs or whatever finding the two naked in back of Schmidt's car, I'm pretty sure Cece would continue to fight tooth and nail to hide her "shame."  I'm over them sneaking around since it's pretty clear that Cece can't stay away from Schmidt, so there's no point to keep everyone in the dark.  I think that Winston's response to finding out their secret was funny, though.  His eyes in the rear-view mirror were like he was going to run them off the road.  He looked crazy.  But I guess the idea of someone as hot as Cece addicted to someone as disgusting as Schmidt, is a good sign that the world has turned upside.

Speaking of Winston being crazy--he actually told Shelby that he thought some space would be good for them?  He has to be out of his mind!  They had like a one-night stand, I believe, and he randomly called her again after the longest time and got lucky that she thought he was worth the time for a real relationship.  Winston should be on his knees every day thanking the powers above that a decent girl (and damn cute) would want him.  Glad he came to his senses, and Shelby missed him as much as he missed her.  That moron is so lucky.  I wanted to slap his peanut head.

So perhaps Jess wasn't dumber than usual in this episode, but her relationship with Russel sure seemed to have lost steam since the last time.  We all knew she would have those awkward conversations (talking about guys having to "dig for her gold" was one of her gems last night), but I didn't think that their date would end up being so boring.  It wasn't just the pat on her back after it ended--it was just that we only got to listen to Jess babble on about increasingly more inappropriate things and almost nothing on his end.  Sure, Russel is handsome for a man of his age, but he can't win me over as a good match for Jess on his looks alone.

Later, after Jess took Cece's advice to ask Russel out for a change of pace, the same thing happened again.  Jess steered the conversation toward things that suggested he was much older than her before he had to run out of their date because of an emergency phone call (it turned out to be about his daughter).  Again, he didn't say much at all, and it looks like a non-date.  After that, I was pretty over him dating Jess.  Regardless that at the little college mixer that was going on in their apartment Russel arrived to tell her that he was indeed just nervous and off his game, I didn't care about them together anymore.  I felt nothing when they had their first kiss (except that Dirk was freaky and creepy with his hand on her thigh).

While I viewed the Jess and Russel coupling as exciting as dry toast, I watched Nick sink even lower into "Moron Town," by showing us that "the smartest guy he knows" is a jackass named Dirk.  Dirk was beyond obnoxious and had the intelligence of mashed peas, but somehow Nick kept praising him at every turn.  Really, Nick?  This is your idea of a genius??  What were the other students like that he went to law school with?  I'm starting to doubt that his school was a real school at all, if someone like Dirk was around.  Nick was man-crushing on Dirk a little too hard, I thought.  Especially when he demonstrated to Winston what happens when you ask a girl for space, and Nick nearly had his head on Dirk's shoulder.  I couldn't help but giggle at that, despite Nick was hanging on Dirk's every stupid word.

So Nick was making out with college girls who thought he was cool because he could mix a drink, and Jess was dating a guy with so little swagger he was putting me to sleep.  What?  Why can't we just have Nick and Jess together instead!  I don't want to see either on the dating paths they are going down at the moment.  Stop the madness and start steering these two together!

On another note, I did laugh when Nick had to puke in Russel's car and he was hugging Russel.  Before leading Nick to the grass where he could expel the "poison" he told him gently:

OK, we can hug some more later.

Loved that.  I bet Nick, drunk or sober, would have gladly hugged him some more later.  Nick gets pretty insane when he's drunk, but it's hilarious.  You gotta love him shouting out for everyone when the car was right behind him.  His drunk behind even called Dirk to ask where they were.  Nick, you are so sad, but definitely my favorite character on the show.

Next time better signal the end to Cece and Schmidt fooling around behind everyone's backs (hope Winston doesn't keep quiet about it), and Russel better lay on the romance thick quick, or I'm going to get pissed.  I want Jess and Nick together so bad; if Jess (or Nick) isn't dating someone of equal or better character, I'm not having it.

When Don's Happy, No One Else Is

Mad Men, S05E01-02

Don and the rest of the gang from Sterling Cooper Draper Price are back for their fifth season!  Typically, this show is in my reserves because it's one of the few dramas that I like, but since it's fast approaching the summer break for most shows, I think I'll watch it as it comes out, for the most part.  I have to say that I have a bit of a crush on Jon Hamm, and the show's just full of great characters and stories.  Also, historically it's an interesting thing to watch, such as the technology differences and the way everyone smoked all the time (especially around children and while being pregnant).  At the center of this week's episode, Don's new wife, Meagan, threw Don a surprise party and performed for him as a present, but Don wasn't exactly ecstatic about it.  Another major issue was the "battle for power" between Roger and Pete.  These were just some of the many things that happened in this double-episode.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Pete continues to show signs that he will just never be satisfied until he is the "King of Advertising" or something like that.  While I realize that Roger is starting to look like a useless bag of bones around the office, Pete can't just stamp his foot and think that everyone will so easily boot him out.  I was glad that he ran into the wall and had blood coming out of his nose when he was whining about Roger appearing at his meeting with Mohawk Airlines.  I know they had to make Pete a junior partner in their firm, but he is so insufferable at the way he thinks that he should be on the same rank as the big dogs.  Sure, he brings the money and all, but let's be real--if Pete was in a business by himself with just his name, no one would give a damn, and no one would want to do business when him.  He needs to calm the hell down.  He has a loving wife, a new baby, a new house, I think, and a job that most people his age would kill for.  Still he is out for Roger's blood.

It's sad that Pete had to resort to sending Roger off on a fake meeting with Coca-Cola just to get back at him for showing up at the Mohawk meeting.  But I think that wasn't as bad as Pete bringing in all of the partners so he could demand that he be given Roger's office on the grounds that he was basically more important than Roger.  Even if that were so, I just don't like the way he did it.  It just looked like a child crying over having the smaller half of the cookie.  Later, when Roger tries to pacify him (or annoy him?  I'm not sure what Roger was playing at) by getting Crane to switch offices with him, Pete just isn't satisfied.  No, he won't be happy until he's in a position where he can walk the halls of their office like Roger, and Pete is the one giving orders that few can refuse.  Seriously.  When is he going to shut up and be thankful??

Onto something a little less infuriating.  I loved how lovey-dovey Don was being with Meagan.  I was worried that things wouldn't be going so well between them when the season started again, but they really looked like they were in love.  Meagan even sang that wonderful song in French for him, which is more than Betty would even dream of doing for him when they used to be in love.  I did think her dancing was a little too much for all the company they had (I can't blame Crane for saying those disgusting things about her at the office later), but I think Don should have tried to be less of an ass about it.

I like that Meagan seems so different from Betty, in the sense that she's not determined to have Don control everything in their marriage like he used to (for example, "forbidding" a birthday party for him).  My favorite thing about her so far is that she can see how the people at SCDP are so cynical and unpleasant.  I can't believe she is the first person to say, "What is wrong with you people??"  Almost everyone in that building, especially the guys, that question applies to them.

However, I wondered what was wrong with Meagan (and Don) when they were having a fight back at home about the party the next day.  She was cleaning up in her underwear.  Her excuse that she didn't want to get sweaty seemed flimsy.  I don't know if she was intentionally trying to turn Don on or punish him for him being so inflexible, but they were soon having makeup sex on the floor.  So ridiculous.  Who pretends to clean in their underwear??  If she wanedt to get her point across, surely she could have come up with something better.  Geez.

Peggy, like Pete, was her usual self, wanting to be more important than she already was, but wanting others (Don) to use their power to make things work better for her.  True, if Don had used some of his Draper magic to convince Hines to like their bean ballet idea, she would have had less work to do and felt accomplished, but this was new Draper.  As Peggy put it he was "kind and patient," and she didn't like it.  So she'd rather have the Don who would have chewed her head off for having such a crappy idea (the idea wasn't bad--their client was just stuck in his ways about how beans should be viewed)?  I can't believe she couldn't get past her own jealousy about Meagan (of course, Peggy doesn't like any woman at the office who can achieve things easier than she) and be glad Don was happy.  He hasn't been happy in a long time.  Probably the happiest he was when he was married to Anna.  I don't know if he was ever really happy with Betty for a significant amount of time.  Peggy, again comparing her to Pete, needs to lighten up and realize how good she has things and stop trying to bring others down.  Sure it would leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth if the boss's wife was getting privileges that you had to work your ass off for, but at least Meagan is working and recognizes that Peggy is her boss.  Just swallow your pride, Peggy.

I felt bad for Joan because while she seems to love her son, she desperately wants to go back to work.  I don't care what those other girls say in the office--she looks great.  Perhaps when she was first seen in the episode with her hair disheveled and in a bathrobe, she wasn't her typical self, but when she came to the office for a visit, all those other girls could suck it--they don't have half the beauty she has.  I'm glad that the fake ad (I definitely missed why they made it) she saw in the newspaper wasn't a call to replace her ,and Don and Lane (particularly him) seem to be counting down the days until she comes back to SCDP.  I am, too.  Joan, among many talents around the office, keeps those stupid girls there in check.  She also tends to ground Peggy when she starts get self-important.  Without Joan there I don't want Peggy to be the only  figure of female power around.

With all the drama that happens, I'm glad we have a little comedy relief with Lane.  I really like him, the more he appears in episodes.  He was so sweet in the way he comforted Joan and let her know that none of those dumb girls could hold a candle to her, but he was also hilarious in the way that he re-enacted Meagan's dancing and his little awkward conversation with Alex's mistress.  The latter was so funny to me.  It was like he was calling one of those sex phone lines for the first time, the way he was acting.  I had forgotten that he had some tension with his wife, but it seems that he may soon be cheating on her in the future (he's gotta join the club with the rest of the partners).  But as funny as he is, it's a bit creepy that he would keep a picture of a woman he hardly knows that he got from a stranger's wallet.  Hope that Alex guy doesn't return in another episode to beat the hell out of Lane.

Lane was also pretty funny when he had to tell the male black applicants that came to their office they were "free to go."  Of all of the partners, they had to get him to speak on their behalf.  Hilarious.  I'm pretty excited, though, that through their gag ad, they were pretty much forced into hiring their first African-American employee (one who wasn't operating the elevators).  Yay!  You can't blame them for not having someone sooner (because that was the times, sadly), but as a black woman myself, I'd like to see someone like me in the show since Betty fired her housekeeper and all (damn Betty).

Speaking of Betty, she didn't appear at all in this episode, so I wonder how things are going with her.  When Don dropped off the kids, it looked like he left them at some apartment building, but I wasn't sure.  Perhaps that means that she got divorced again?  I hate to be happy about that, but Betty had a chance at a new beginning, but instead she was just taking out all the angry she had from her previous marriage out on her new marriage.  As much as I want to know, I'm glad I didn't have to see Betty berating Sally for some petty thing again as she had become custom to do since last season.

One last thing I really liked was Crane saying those gross things about how he would gladly do Meagan if he had the chance, and she heard all the horrible things he said.  Later, he kept worrying about if Don had heard what he said about his wife.  He was so scared!  He even seemed to like having Pete's new office because it gave him a chance to hide from Meagan until the heat was off.  Good ol' Crane.  On a side note, does it look like he lost a little weight?  Maybe it's just my imagination because I haven't seen him in a while.

I'm pretty happy with the return of this show.  I can't wait to see what sort of things unravel and go wrong this season.  Although, I really hope that Don and Meagan will be the real deal (and he won't start cheating on her like Betty).  I can handle all the other random shit that might hit the fan, but I'd really like this season to be the end of his super-drama in his love life, at least.

Emma Meets The Mad Hatter

Once Upon A Time, S01E17

This week we were taken into Wonderland and learned about the back story of Jefferson, aka the Mad Hatter.  In Storybrooke, Emma tried to get MM back to her cell before the arraignment next morning, but got abducted by Jefferson instead who wouldn't let her go until she mads him a magic hat that would let him get back to his old world.

It probably took me longer than most people to figure out who Jefferson was supposed to be because I was only thinking of fairly tales that mostly came from the Grimm variety rather than other stories of magic and fantasy.  The last thing I thought he would be from was somewhere like Alice and Wonderland.  I've never heard of the Mad Hatter having a daughter (actually, I've never heard of his background story period), so the scenes of him and his daughter threw me for a loop.  Not even when Jefferson pulled out his magic hat to transport himself and the Queen (whom he called "Regina," something I thought was odd until later) into the passageway into different worlds.  I just simply thought he was a magician until they went through a mirror-like door, and they were walking through tall grass and mushrooms.  Yes, it took me until then to realize "This must be Wonderland" and the smoking caterpillar confirmed my theory.

I liked that through Jefferson and the Queen's recovery mission in the Queen of Hearts' garden we learned that the two queens were sort of rivals.  I thought perhaps they might have been sort of friends (both being unreasonably cruel rulers), but after the Queen revealed that the box she retrieved actually held her a shrunken version of her father (whom she returned to full-size with a piece of mushroom), it looked like they were considerably enemies.  It's unclear to me, however, why the Queen chose to get her father at that time (I assume it's around the time Snow was going to save Charming?) or how long the Queen of Hearts had kept him prisoner there.

Even though we don't have much time to understand the relationship between Jefferson and Grace, I felt for him when he was trapped in Wonderland and wouldn't be able to keep his promise to return to her in time for their tea party.  Queen Bitch had to rub it in that she was double-crossing him by throwing his own words back at him about family being important and said that if he really cared about Grace, he should have never left her in the first place.  She has a lot of nerve.  Worse than her basically sticking her tongue out at him as she left him there, Jefferson was taken to the Queen of Hearts who had his head cut off when he didn't answer her question.  She's about as sympathetic to Jefferson's desire to go home as the other queen was and told him if he wanted to go home to make another magical hat.  It was nice how they explained why he was a "mad hatter" by the fact that after being stuck in Wonderland he became obsessed with making another hat that would send him home (he looked damned crazy with the thousands of hats surrounding him in that one scene).  It was no wonder that in Storybrooke he was just as nutty (although I'm not sure why he has awareness of his former self unlike everyone else except Mr. Gold).

Storybrooke Jefferson is just as miserable, trapped in a beautiful house by himself while he can only look into other lives through telescopes (glad he's not using it for creepier reasons).  He was suspicious from the beginning, wandering around in the woods at night, but he seemed like just a lonely guy until he drugged Emma's tea.  His offer of a hot beverage was fishy to me anyhow, but Emma didn't seem to think so and drank with little hesitation.  When she woke up later tied and gagged (and also did he remove some of her clothes??), I'm sure she won't be making that mistake again.

I was pretty impressed by the way Emma smashed her cup with a pillow and used the shard to free herself.  Guess she wasn't a private detective for nothing.  She was at least skillful enough to not immediately get caught by a weirdo who was not only sharpening scissors (I don't care if he makes hats--was there a need to do that right then??) but had also tied up MM in another room.  When I saw that, I was hoping that Emma would throw a chair out a window and they would just hope for the best and jump out of there as soon as possible.  This has to be the creepiest situation that Emma and MM have been in thus far.

Things looked worse when Jefferson had them at gunpoint before the two could escape, and he seemed to only have plans for Emma (MM was tied up again, but he claimed it was for her own good).  I thought he was simply working for Mayor Bitch at first (based on their previous connection in the other world), but then it just turned out he wanted her to make him a working hat.  At this point, I was wondering if the line between Storybrooke and the magic world would be broken if Emma started to believe in what Jefferson was saying. I started thinking that this might be the moment when Emma truly believed what Henry was talking about, especially when she said that she would love to think that MM was her mother.  Instead, Emma was just playing around with Jefferson and whacked him over the head while his guard was down.

I wasn't too worried that Emma and MM would make it out all right, even when Jefferson was rolling around with Emma and almost looked like he was going to shoot her.  I didn't expect MM to knock him over with a chair and then kick him out of the window, though.  That was pretty cool.  However, they were less freaked out that Jefferson was gone when they looked below.  If it was me and a seemingly maniac like him was holding me against my will, I would have been a lot more cautious as to whether he was still around.  Of course, I'm pretty sure that Emma's hat had "worked" and he had been sent to another world, but MM and Emma didn't know that.  They were way too relieved at his disappearance.  Also, why did Emma keep the hat and throw it into her car?  Evidence?  She need a reminder of the horrible night she and MM shared?

I was unexpectedly touched when Emma was telling MM how important she was to her and asking for her to have faith in her (once again).  Since Emma gave her the car keys and let MM choose whether to flee or stay, I knew that MM would definitely stay.  It was a great moment when MM was in her cell right where she was supposed to be, and Mayor Bitch couldn't believe it.

I'm not sure what the deal is that Mayor Bitch and Mr. Gold have.  Is he just pretending he will help MM in court or is he leading the Mayor on about whether he is on her side?  I might just have missed something in another episode (possibly when Mr. Gold was in jail himself).  Either way, I'm worried about whether Mr. Gold will really help Emma out like he promised or if he's playing for Mayor Bitch's side (at least for now, anyway).

Emma held onto Henry's book at the end, so I'm starting to think she is little by little believing in the other world. Either that or she was really captivated by Jefferson's story and just had to see if what he told her matched up to anything in  the book.  I dunno.  Hopefully it does mean she will soon be a "believer."   She may be even sooner if Jefferson pops out of that hat sometime.

So MM should be going to court in the next episode, I guess.  If Mr. Gold isn't going to actually defend her, then she is going to be in deep shit.  I suspect that no matter what happens Emma will do whatever she can to make sure her "family" doesn't end up on death row.  I wonder if next time we will see Snow go to save Charming or if it will be about another lesser character.  Either way, as usual, I'm eagerly waiting to see this story unfold.

Minimum Wage Is No Joke. Except This Time

American Dad, S07E15

Stan was reasonably fed up with Jeff (and Hayley) living in his house and was determined to show them that they could easily afford to move out while Jeff was making minimum wage.  In a fashion very similar to the show 30 Days, Stan and Francine took the challenge to live on such wages for a month, but failed very quickly.  To offset Stan's insane spiral into poverty, Roger and Steve found a way to ride a real Ferrari, so they could live their dream and rub it in Klaus' face.

Jeff was pretty damn annoying with him crapping while Stan was in the shower and using up the last bit of syrup.  Usually, I think when Stan is going on about something, he is out of line, but I think most people would want to see Jeff leave their place.  I don't know if showing him and Hayley that he could live with as little money as they make was the best way to tell them to get out, but it did make for an interesting story.  I won't say that I laughed a lot while watching it, but I was waiting to see what else could happen to Stan before he gave up.  It took him quite a while (even though it was less than 2 days) before he swallowed his pride.

I think that them living in their car was a pretty miserable way to live, but it was better than an apartment where people steal your only lamp, and you can hear a woman being murdered down the hall.  I wouldn't want homeless people staring at me while I slept, but I still would chose it if I could get some clothes or cardboard to cover up my windows at night.

It's hard to say what I liked the best about this story, but it might have been when Stan went to a burger place and tried to apply for a job, not knowing that the manager could see him trying to clean himself up before he entered the store.  I thought maybe the guy would give him a break, but I guess he looked too much like a homeless person for him to let his grossness slide.

The worst thing of all in the episode was when Francine woke up the first morning in their apartment and a random, diseased-looking cat was giving birth near her.  God, that was super gross!  Ugh.  It was also pretty bad when Jeff came out when Stan and Alex were trying to rob the place and stabbed Alex over and over.  It was literally overkill.  Stan was lucky to only have gotten stabbed once.

I think it was good that Stan's attempt to live on minimum wage had nothing but low points that kept sinking further and further.  Since he was so confident that he would be able to do it, it was funnier that there was no moment that he was doing all right.  That was probably the best thing of the story of all.

I sort of liked how Roger and Steve were able to con the guys at the Ferrari dealership to let them take a car for several days it seemed.  However, I didn't think that they would have to go as far to parody an Al Pacino movie to do it.  Roger was kinda funny when he kept reciting lines from Scent of A Woman, I assume (I've never seen the movie, so I don't know), but his words were out of place with what the salesman was saying, so it was like Roger was just having a conversation by himself.  Somehow him doing that got them the car!  I was as amazed as Steve was.  I don't understand, though, why Steve was driving the car all the time.  Isn't Steve too young?  I forget his age.  I just know that he's in high school.  Either way, someone as young as him driving a car that they didn't even pay for was crazy.  He did hit Stan, though.

I liked this episode, even if it wasn't so funny that you would laugh out loud and despite that Roger and Steve were up to no good, but it was nothing more than an almost uneventful ride in a stolen Ferrari.  I wish there had been more jokes I liked and wish that part with the cat had been eliminated (didn't you guys have enough with the animals last week??).  Next time, I hope there's more Roger because he was too tame this time.  Also, let's have less Jeff.  I feel like he's been having too much screen time lately.

More Like The Stupidest Black Man In America

The Cleveland Show, S03E15

Although I did find some pieces of this episode to be funny, I think I should have listen to my gut about after seeing the previews and skipped it.  Cleveland struggled to find his identity based on a lot of stereotypes for both black and white people.  In the end, he finally accepted himself for who he was inside, not what he looked like on the inside, but his journey there was less humorous and more irking on a racial level for me.  I feel like many African-Americans worry about whether they are too "white," and this story could have been a good way to decry notions of some racial stereotypes through humor, but somewhere I think it fell short.  I just found myself thinking that the end credits couldn't come quickly enough.

Before Cleveland began his identity crisis, I didn't see how he was going to get there through his new love of Justin Bieber.  Instead, I thought his appreciation for the pop singer would lead him to a life of acting like a silly teenage girl or something.  After all, Cleveland claimed that the music was only for "girls and Usher."  When he was competing in the competition for the tickets in a ridiculous wig and dancing like a fool next to kids a 1/3 of his size, I was just thinking, "Man, Cleveland is an idiot!"  But the DJ viewed his dancing to be typical of white people, and apparently the fact that he was competing for Bieber tickets in the first place also made him look "whiter" (according to Rallo).  Maybe that was supposed to be a joke about the stereotype that all black people can dance (or the stereotype that white people are the opposite).  Either way, that DJ's opinion was unsavory to me.

The best part of that scene was when Cleveland asked about Wayne Brady holding the title of "Whitest Man in America" already.  Wayne Brady appeared and handed his sash over to Cleveland.  I liked this because thanks to Dave Chappelle, Wayne Brady has always seemed like a joke to me.  If I may quote from his guest appearance on Chappelle Show, "I make Bryant Gumble look like Malcolm X, huh?"  To say that Cleveland had become a bigger joke than Brady was quite a funny thing to imagine.

While I laughed at that, I wasn't laughing too much when Cleveland was consulting with his family (and  Federline--ugh) about whether the DJ was accurate about him.  Cleveland just displayed his ignorance and disconnect with current phrases (making him sound really lame), rather than evidence that he wasn't as "black" as he should be.  The funniest thing in that scene was when Cleveland drew the curtains after Rallo used the word "honky."  But I was annoyed that Cleveland thought it was just as offensive as using the n-word.  Come on, Cleveland.  You can't be that much of an idiot that even Federline is setting you straight.

Cleveland went on a horrible stereotypical trip to become more "black."  I love me some Soul Train, so when it started coming down the track, I couldn't help but smile, especially after it had made Cleveland wait so long for it, and he commented "You're late."  But after that, I was just doing a series of sighing and hoping for things to develop in another direction while he went to change his hair and learned to play dominoes.  Ugh.  But I felt bad that when Cleveland asked the conductor to take him to the "blackest city in America," he claimed it was Detroit, and that's what I was thinking in my head.  I hoped that I wouldn't have a preconceived idea like that, but somewhere along the line of lots of TV and movies, I must have heard that before.  I've never been to Detroit myself, or know much about it, so I can't think of how else I might have known the conductor's answer.

Cleveland's "black" outfit was horrible.  I just couldn't wait for him to get out of it and stop talking so unnaturally.  So glad that Donna sent him to his parents' house, where I thought they might encourage him to stop acting crazy.  Instead, Cookie sent him to find his old nanny, who Cleveland began to believe was the reason why he was so "white."  I think him accepting his "white" side was just as painful to look at.

At dinner, there was an awkwardness between Freight Train and Barbara, but it wasn't clear at first as to why.  I guess the two used to have feelings for each other?  Or maybe they were still there, after all the years.  Either way, I wasn't excepting that at all.  Doesn't surprise me that Cookie might have had a girlfriend while her philandering husband had disappeared for some years.  Rather than judge Cleveland on his race, everyone should have just been amazed he's not a twisted bastard with the way FT raised him off and on in his life.

I straight up hated when Cleveland was singing about his damn identities in The Cleveland Show theme song melody.  Just terrible.  I'm glad that Barbara came along and smacked him with her purse (although she did start to sing the song too--ugh) and finally made him stop worrying about all that dumb shit.  As much as I don't like Bieber myself, I was happy to see him go off to the concert after all that bullshit in the episode before. I would have much rather seen Cleveland try to get Junior from loving that music, while secretly loving it himself, than what the story actually turned out to be.

I don't think I ever want to see this episode again.  Sometimes I find that stories I didn't like too much the first time, are a little less repugnant after they appear in re-runs, but I don't see that happening with this week's episode.  Just strike that from the record and label it a failure in my eyes.  I'd much rather watch a story where Cleveland acts like an asshole to his family for no reason except for his own self desires than this mess.  Hope this will be the last of the episodes even remotely like this one.

You Wanna Help These Kids? Get Them Therapy

Bob's Burgers, S02E03

Bob learned in this episode that Linda has been doing homework for the children for a while (maybe forever?).  They kids, drunk on their ability to manipulate their mother, convinced Mr. Frond that they should be allowed to do an independent study as alternative to going to P.E.  It bit them in the butt when the superintendent and the rest of the school board came to view their progress, and they had spent their time simply fooling around, but they were lucky that Linda loved them too much to watch them fail on their own.  At least, since the kids weren't really taught a lesson, their plan to escape their hated P.E. was a failure.

Sometimes I think that Linda is a real airhead.  Clearly, her children are smart enough to do their own homework (because they have the intelligence to fool adults with ease), but are just too damned lazy.  Then again, I'm not sure if they are as dumb as they look because Bob had to actually teach them how to fill the cones with the soft serve.  They might have been pretending not to understand how to do it just so they wouldn't have to work harder in the restaurant.  I may have to support the latter theory, as I've started to see how lazy the three of them are.

As much as I thought that Bob's kids deserved to fail, I sort of hate Mr. Frond for using the kids to make himself look good, but trying to punish them if they made him look like a fool.  No matter how sneaky the three were being, it was up to him to ensure that they properly participated in the studies that they proposed.  You can't give children free range to do something, and then get angry when they don't bring results like you imagined.  Please.  I'm glad that the superintendent was giving Mr. Frond shit while Louise kept trying to delay their unprepared swimming.  It was gross that she went as far to poop in the pool, though.  It was crazy that Mr. Frond insisted on having them do their routine in an empty pool just to prove his point.  Get over, yourself, sir.  You failed.

I think what worked best for me in this episode was the scene when the kids were fooling around during their first "independent study" time and went to places like the arcade and  a nail salon.  They tried to pay the nail salon in game tickets and were chased away.  That was pretty good.  It was also pretty good when Bob made Teddy eat a piece of sponge.  Moron.

I was probably more annoyed by the antics of the children and their too eager guidance counselor than I was amused by anything in particular.  Since we didn't get to enjoy Family Guy or The Simpsons yesterday, this show didn't really make up for their absence.  Not that it ever could, but it failed to even distract me a little bit from the missing chunk in the Sunday night lineup.  It's stories like this that make me wonder why it was picked up for another season, and other shows that are much more consistently on point disappear quickly.

Abed's Free-Spirted Quirkiness Borders On Selfishness

Community, S03E12

Last night we saw that Abed, although very cute and amusing with his love of make-believe, was so busy satisfying his own needs that he didn't realize that he was causing trouble for people who are supposedly his friends (most of all Troy).  Jeff, too, showed a new level of his personality by taking therapy that allowed his ego to run dangerously too free.  With the gang being forced to act like famous impersonators at a teenager's party, you would think that would be enough "excitement" for one episode.  Nope.  As a cherry on the top, we had Chang's return to Community and the rise of his "Chang Warriors."

I want to start with Jeff.  I'm not sure why, but I sort of liked him on anti-anxiety pills.  I think that most people like him who are so full of themselves are actually covering for their complete lack of confidence, so I viewed Jeff as a more likeable, confident man.  I thought that Greta was simply just trying to bring Jeff down (as she likes to be a downer about most things) until she warned him about his ego exploding like an over-pumped apple (glad Jeff questioned why she would use an apple to illustrate his ego over-inflating).  I was surprised that Jeff actually listened to Greta and asked for her help when he saw that her warnings were more valid than her psychology credentials would suggest.  She couldn't really do anything for him while the women at the party were fawning over him and the guest of honor was being showered with vanity awards, and he unexpectedly turned into an super-ego fueled Hulk.  That was a pretty good moment.  Jeff was acting like a crazy person, but somehow he managed to save Abed's legs by not ruining the party.

Abed's legs indeed needed saving.  This might have been one of the few episodes, if ever, that I wanted someone to shake Abed or even hit him.  Troy was being a great friend by not only convincing the gang that they owed to Abed to participate in the party so that Abed's debts would be cleared, but he also worked his ass off to make sure that everyone performed well enough to the manager's standards.  All the while, Abed was enjoying himself at the party, with not a care in the world.  I loved how threatening French Stewart's presence was in this episode; he and Troy had some funny exchanges.

The best thing about the gang having to work at the party was that the manager said that with Troy and Greta they would have both versions of Michael Jackson.  LOL.  Shirley as Oprah was a no-brainer, but I would have never guessed those roles for those two.  I felt a little bad for Pierce who couldn't be the celebrity he wanted, but at least one of the guests at the party recognized him as the fat version of Burt Reynolds and made an old man happy.  You gotta toss Pierce a bone every now and then.

When Troy saw that Abed was continuing to purchase the lookalikes for his own entertainment, I wasn't shocked, but I began to worry about their friendship.  I was more worried when Abed didn't recognize Troy's anger (although, you wouldn't expect him to), and Troy had to spell it out for them.  It seemed like Abed was able to trust Troy a little more and their relationship was going to go deeper, but then Abed brushed off Troy's company to play and also didn't do their special handshake with him!  What??  They always do that in the end!  If Abed ruins their friendship, it will break my heart.  They are great characters by themselves, but nothing beats a combo like Abed and Troy.  It just wouldn't be the same!  I wonder if they will address this next time, or wipe the slate clean of their problems.

I wish there was more Chang, and yet I wish he hadn't been there at all.  I'm a little worried about what Chang is planning by recruiting people to work with him, especially since he doesn't really do anything of  value at the school currently.  I never thought he would be able to trick some kids into his security intern program.  If the kids haven't caught on by the next episode that Chang is not operating with a full deck of cards, I would like to see his plans for his new army.

Not sure what's going on with Abed and that other version of him (Evil Abed?).  Does that signal the start of Abed going off in a sinister direction apart from Troy?  Don't do this to me, writers.  I was so looking forward to Troy and Abed getting into strange situations together, not moving apart from each other.  Chang needs to have more screen time so I can hear more of the crazy things from his mouth I had come to love once upon a time.  As for the other characters, I have no complaints at the moment.  Let's see if that will continue for the rest of the "season."

Archer Thinks Of Others! ...Just Kidding

Archer, S03E10

Yesterday we got to see the season finale of Archer.  Since they don't have that many episodes to begin with, it seems to have gone by really quickly.  I think that it ended pretty well with ISIS managing to take down the traitor faction, get a little revenge on Barry, and return home alive (I emphasize "alive" and not "unharmed").  For a moment, I thought that Archer had seen the light, if not only for an appropriate time (the time being until they were back to Earth in one piece), but Archer remains Archer in the end.

Despite that Archer resisted against their captors (his best being when he attacked Wu while shouting "Woo!"), it was pretty clear that if Drake had offered Archer an alcoholic drink, he might have easily joined their side.  When they didn't seem to be offering him anything tempting, he first suggested that since they only wanted Lana (apparently they looked up all her information and thought she would make the best babies for Mars), he asked for the men to be let go and then just himself (of course).  I hadn't thought that they specifically wanted Lana to be "The Mother of Mars," but thought that they just happened to hire ISIS and figured that a spy female was the best they were going to get for their re-population schemes.  As creepy as their plan was, Lana had to be a little flattered that they thought her DNA was the best stuff around.

I didn't appreciate that Lana had to be nearly naked for most of the episode, but I liked that she was so vain about her boobs.  When Archer suggested that they were getting saggy, she just couldn't let it go, even in the midst of a fight.  The ISIS crew managed to get away from their captors to only be captured once again.  They were pretty unimpressive in their escape attempt.

I think the badass medal for this episode should go to Pam who was not only smart enough to prepare to attack if Drake and his men tried to get on the ship, but also managed to sneak up on Drake and get him at gunpoint while Carol was busy being a "whordiot," letting the enemies into the ship.  That stupid little bitch.  Pam should have been made an operative instead of freaking Cyrill.  At least she increased the chance that they would return to Earth, while Cyrill, shooting off madly after Drake blasted off his own head, killed Kellogg, the only other person who was unquestionably qualified to fly them back home.  After Cyrill screwed up right after Pam had saved the day, I didn't easily see how they would make it back home.

When Barry started approaching them on a space ship, I was really thinking that he might be the one to "save" them, even though there was no doubt he came to space to kill Archer again.  I'm not sure why he needed to do so when he already stole his fiancee, but I guess when Archer is concerned, he can't suffer enough (at least while he is alive).  Barry was pretty funny in the way he kept taunting Archer to come play with him, but Archer held back his pride and refused to open the doors.  It was really amazing for him.  I also wondered that if somehow Barry's revenge had turned into a necessity for him, in the sense that he would never kill Archer for real because then he would have no one to chase after anymore.  I mean, he followed him off the planet--is it really that serious?

Archer's seemingly change of heart paid off when he cheered Cyrill on to land them safely home; Cyrill turned the ship around so that the fire from the engine would destroy Barry's ship.  Ooo...  How is he going to get home?  I don't worry too much about him because he's sneaky, a cyborg, and there are many, many people around on Horizon that they will probably find a way for him to return to Earth.  After all, if Barry's not around, who is going to be Archer's annoyingly persistent arch-enemy? (Archer-enemy, if you will allow a bad pun)

I felt a bit of relief when Archer stopped acting so unselfishly and nearly killed them all when Cyrill was just about to land the ship safely to Earth.  I'm not sure how Archer managed to get off without a scratch on him!  Lana was using crutches, someone had an eye patch, and Ray was back in his wheelchair (for real this time, I'm sure).  I liked that the episode ended with him acting like an ass because that's what this show is all about.  I wouldn't have minded a little cliffhanger to make us anticipate the next season (I hope there will be one, FX!), but this ending is just as well.

The sky is really the limit for next season, and I can't wait to see what ISIS is up to next time.  I wonder if Lana and Archer would ever get back together.  They seem to hate each other, but I feel like deep down, they still protect each other in non-obvious ways.  I'd like to see less of Mallory's attempts to get laid, and less of Pam's naked body.  The thing I'd most like to see is the return of Barry and a more equal fight between he and Archer.  They have to make a really epic (although Archer hates that word) battle between them soon.  Guess I just have to be patient and see if that happens next year.

Never Go To Max's Gym And Never Let Jane Sleep On It

Happy Endings, S02E19

I'm not sure which story I liked better this time.  On the one hand, Dave went to Max's gym and met a bully he was ill-fit to fight against.  On the other hand, Jane became super relaxed after she listened to Penny's advice (oh, you should never do that) and took the time to think about her decisions rather than acting immediately.  We also learned that Alex was a former bully herself, but that really isn't so surprising when you remember that she comes from a family of apparently strong women (I wonder what her mother is like).

I was no different than Max's friends with their dubious faces when he announced that he goes to a gym.  It's less because I think that Max is horribly out of shape (he's all right), but mostly because I've seen him imitate a bear for several days, and he doesn't seem to commit himself to anything that might take a lot of physical energy.  Also, when Jane was questioning what activities he participated at said gym, Max plainly kept avoiding answering her question.  At the actual gym, Max was seen lying on a workout bench just reading.  So that's his workout.  Love it.

I was hoping we would see more of Max's non-workout, but instead Bobby Moynihan guest-starred to torture Dave at his new gym.  No surprise that Dave and his hippie-like pacifism prompted him to avoid direct confrontation with his bully Corey and to speak to the manager.  Really?  A man of his age is going to tell on him as if they are in grade school?  I wouldn't have blamed Corey for popping Dave one then and there.  Instead, he just waits until Dave shows up at the gym again after he clearly threatened Dave not to come back.  The best thing about Dave and Corey was that Max found Corey's aggressive actions toward his friend to be sexy.  Oh, Max.  I'm glad that Corey was too busy making all the other gym members miserable to spare a glance at Max because that would have been messed up if Max went out with him. 

I was ready to change my opinion about Dave being a weak, sorry-excuse-for-a-man when he challenged Corey to a fight.  However, I assumed that Dave would be on the ground within a few seconds of it.  It was also weird that there were a group of random people witnessing the event.  Were those Corey's friends?  Or were they people from the gym?  Anyway, Dave didn't get a chance to redeem himself as a man because Derrick jumped out of the crowd and knocked Corey the hell out.  Well, I guess that's one way to end a story.

Speaking of Derrick's return to this show (I assume he hasn't been around for a while because I had to look up when he had first appeared), he was pretty hilarious.  I liked when Dave asked him whether he was actually paying Max to train him.  After saying that he wasn't he had some pretty good lines:

[Derrick] Actually, he owes me 900 dollars.  Drama! Seriously, how do I get him to pay me?  I'm behind on rent.  It's like real drama.[Dave] Probably not going to see that money, buddy.

Later, he, Max, and Dave had a funny discussion about the difference between Corey's brand of fat and Max's kind of fat:

[Derrick] Well, you know, you're both fat.

[Dave] Yeah, he's kind of a strong fat.

[Max] Yeah--right.  I'm strong, he's fat.

[Dave] He's strong, you're fat.

[Derrick] Fat is fat.

I happen to think that Max does look like he would be strong, though.  Maybe Corey is a little more muscular, but I think that if Max had to fight someone, he would have some powerful moves.  He at least wouldn't be like Dave and passive-aggressively fight someone.

Jane's story also had an interesting guest star.  John Ross Bowie (Kripke! from Big Bang Theory) played Michael, who was utterly humiliated by Jane for suggesting they plant berries in the community garden.  I love how Jane can cut down someone and analyze something so thoroughly that even an innocent idea like berries can eventually cause everyone unforeseen disaster.  As much of a controlling "fascist" that Jane is, she is perfect the way she is.  The only part of relaxed Jane that I liked was her first moment of revelation in the middle of the night, and she encourages Brad to try sleeping on a matter too.  He isn't impressed at first and responds:

Bitch, it's 5:30!

 But Brad was enjoying the benefits of a looser leash around his house, able to eat nachos on their couch.  When Jane nearly grabbed all of them and shoved them into her mouth, I really wanted to have some so badly.  But once there wasn't anything like nachos or any kind of food in the house and Brad's outfits started to look bi-polar, he had to get the girls' help to make Jane snap out of it.  I thought Alex might use funnier examples to upset Jane enough that she could no longer relax, but the issues weren't that great.  What was great was when Brad was still pro-Chill Jane and the neighbor who gives them hams comes to complain about several things since Jane had become lax, including someone starting a math tutoring business from their home (is that really such an obscene matter??).  Losing his free hams (I wonder how long they have been getting those?  And where is this man getting them from?) was another nail in the coffin for him.

I mention the hams thing mostly because it ties into one of my favorite TV endings.  Definitely this week's ending was my favorite so far in this show.  They played Ice Cube's Today Was A Good Day while Jane and Brad enter their condo as if they are the president and the "first gentleman."  While they are doing this hilarious slow-motion walk of triumph, the old neighbor hands Brad his ham.  And all is right with the world.  It's so good, I have to post it here:

Now that we have seen Max take interest in someone else, I wonder if he's going to get serious any time soon.  I just love his relationship because he's such an unusual guy. I'm trying to predict who will be the center of the next episode, and I think it might be Penny and/or Alex because they didn't have a large role in this one.  However, Penny did just have a birthday episode and before that Alex was running away from Dave.  Perhaps it's time for a Brad-centered episode.  One of my favorite ones of his was when he lied to Max about needing time to hang with the "brothas."  If they could make a different story about him that is just as funny, I would be quite the happy viewer.

All Of Marks Dreams Come True...For Randall

Ugly Americans, S03E02

I have to say that this show is pretty disgusting most of the time, but I enjoy the unique concept of it.  You have to love Mark trying his best at the Department of Integration with all of these wacko monster and alien-like people.  What made this episode different from most was that he wasn't spending most of his time trying to fix someone else's problem, but rather was trying to stop Randall from achieving everything he wanted in life, including becoming Senior Social Service Coordinator and being the star of his own football team.  In other stories, Callie pimps out Leonard so she can raise enough money for a new car, and Twaine reveals his gambling problem.

Mark is by no means my favorite character on the show, but I appreciate his tolerant demeanor and ability to see good in all of the miscreants that has to reform so they are suitable members of society.  That being said, I hate that Randall takes no heed of what kind of consequence his actions have upon his roommate and best friend, and this time was no exception.  No wonder when Randall's newly equipped arm encouraged Twaine to make him a ringer for Mark's team and he got Mark's dream job that Mark started digressed into a possibly alcoholic and suicidal maniac who was desperate enough to steal football plays and join Grime's team.  I feel like when Mark was juiced up on steroids for a while he managed to get a little revenge on Randall, but not enough before he returned to his senses.  Mark needed to beat the crap out of him, really, but I guess even with his body pumped full of drugs, he's not going to get that far.  Pity.  At least Randall lost his arm in the end.

Speaking of his arm and the crappy work done on it, that Croatian guy is lucky he didn't get arrested for practicing medicine with no American-based license.  Whenever Mark can walk again, he should drive both legs into that guy's chest.  Can believe he tried to fix Mark's leg with a saw and some mustard.  Eww.  I shudder to think about the infection and the misshapen bone regrowth.

In Twaine's story, I'm reminded of how he's almost like a child in the way that he is so stupid about how the world works.  He has all this money in his desk and other places, which I wonder if it's all for bets or if it's just always there because he's the boss.  Either way, he lost all of it, I'm sure, while ignoring all the signs that he was going to lose from his bookie.  I loved that his bookie became a sort of therapist for him, saying that his need for friendship was causing him to gamble so much.  He even agreed to be Twaine's friend, but he was still going to take the money from him.  The bookie, unlike Twaine, was no dummy when it came to getting paid.  My favorite conversation between him and Twaine was after the bookie explained to him the horrible odds against the bet Twaine wanted to make with a million dollars:

[Bookie] As a bookie I'm compelled to take your bet.

[Twain] Is there a second half to that sentence? 

[Bookie] No, that's it.

The Callie story was good too.  I thought she might have had more of a problem getting Leonard to earn her enough money for her car, but she got it as fast as Leonard seemed to adapt to the prostitute lifestyle.  Her pimp walk was excellent and so was her general skills soliciting another person for profit.  I liked when she scared off the other pimp trying to recruit Leonard from her.  I was surprised that she ripped up his contract as soon as she got what she wanted and didn't milk him for all that he had.  She may be a conniving devil, but at least she's all business.

On a sort of random side note, I just have to saw how I love Doug.  He's kind of useless, but he is a cute koala man.  I liked when he said his dream was to fly, and Randall helped him achieve it by giving him a sky glider.  Although he is more or less a person, I still think he might be better suited for a zoo.

Very glad to see this show up for a third season, even though I have to cringe a lot when I watch it.  I like that they keep adding different and strange characters for Mark to add to his reform group, so it keeps things from being too predictable.  I think if you can get around the disgusting things, a lot of people would enjoy it. I know I do, and I hope it will make it to their fourth season next year too.

The Shopping Network Scam

South Park, S16E02

Somehow a kindly gesture from Stan's grandfather turns into a quest to find the origin of all of the overpriced jewelry sold around America.  Typical of this show, a simple matter is taken way out of proportion and the boys manage to get themselves in the middle of it.  At least this time, there is a sort of happy ending and Stan learns that it's better to give than to receive (at least if his grandfather is going to give him a gift he doesn't want in the first place).

I liked that this episode dealt with the sort of a scam that the shopping networks operate in order to fleece customers out of their money.  It's true that many elderly people, such as Stan's grandfather, buy items on there with their retirement/social security money and don't realize that they are paying much more than necessary.  Stan finds out that his bolo tie is worth no more than 15 dollars, and at the worst price is worth about a 7-layer burrito from Taco Bell.  Through the worthlessness of his own gift that has real gold and diamonds, he figures out that old people are targeted by shopping networks on TV.

I rarely watch those sort of things except a few seconds when flipping to another channel, but this episode did a good job of expanding upon the annoying points of shopping channels.  I think that the host displaying the different products, Dean, was particularly funny.  He was even better when he had to deal with Stan calling in to tell him that he should kill himself.  My favorite part might have been when Dean was trying to stay professional on air while Stan said things like:

You're the definition of evil--kill yourself.

Stan was not playing around with that guy.  Even when Dean suggested that they might have to sue Stan if anyone did kill themselves, Stan still didn't give a damn.  It was great.

I didn't care too much for Cartman's own shopping network until he had to stock up on more supplies (I'm surprised he got anything from the playground at all) at a discount jewelry store that used the same tactics on him.  There's nothing better than karma catching up with Cartman, although sometimes it takes a while.

Rather than be amused by the cycle of jewelry from the American pawn shop all the way back to an Indian sweatshop where they recreate the same jewelry from pieces sent to them from the smelting factory, I wanted it to be over with.  The showed the process for much longer than I cared for.  It did emphasize the pointlessness of Stan trying to point fingers at someone for his grandfather getting deceived, but it didn't do much for me as a joke.

I thought it was nice that Stan gave his grandfather a picture of the dog he had loved but couldn't remember its face anymore.  They, of course, undercut the sweet moment with a joke (Stan's grandfather said his bolo tie was gay just like Cartman had said earlier), but I still liked the moment.

As messed up as it is to tell someone to kill themselves, I couldn't help but laugh when Dean had nothing but elderly callers telling him to end his life in the same fashion that Stan had done.  Since they had turned the camera away from his face, we sort of knew that he was going to do it in the end and a little before the episode finished, he finally did it.  A grim ending, but pretty typical of this show, so it was good to see that they aren't ever going to change.

I didn't like this one as much as I did the first one this season (mocking the TSA with toilet safety was genius), but it was still pretty good.  With a lot of shows approaching their season finales very soon, it's great to know that South Park will be around to pick up some of the comedy slack.

I Think Nick Is More In Love Than Jess

New Girl, S01E17

Instead of Nick and Jess finally getting together, Jess was unexpectedly thrown into the arms of a parent of one of her students, who seemed like the biggest jerk at first.  As his generous nature and interest in Jess is made clear, Jess is able to look past her first impression of him and see a charming guy.  Nick, on the other hand, takes much less time to fall for the man, and it took little more than a sweater and a cellphone.  Winston also struggles to look smart while Schmidt shows that he thinks that Winston isn't as smart as he is.

Before I talk about how I laughed almost the entire time Jess and Nick both came to know Russel, I will say that I didn't care much for Winston's story.  I did realize that Schmidt is a know-it-all, talks way too much, and looks down on others.  I guess I have been so distracted by his OCD qualities and sexually unnerving banter to notice this earlier.  In the end, Winston learned that Shelby didn't care that Winston didn't know a bunch of random facts, but Schmidt didn't learn anything.  In fact, he continued to give his opinion about matters no one asked him about while Winston and Shelby were making out.  This may have been the first time I wanted him to shut up (usually the things out of his mouth are gold).

That story paled in comparison to the laugh fest I was treated to with Nick and Jess.  In the beginning, Nick was ridiculed in a cellphone store because his credit score was so low, he became a breathing, walking joke.  I love that that they brought the whole staff out to laugh at him about that.  Although Jess tries to comfort him by suggesting he use his inability to get a phone to add mystery to himself, his friends are not really that sympathetic to his credit problem.  Two of my favorite comments made about Nick's poverty was that he had a credit score of a "homeless ghost" and that he weighed more than his credit score. 

Jess' rocky start with Russel was due not only to her defending her teaching methods (mostly that of "dreamcess") against a parent who complained that his daughter needed tutoring and less creative time, but was also due to the fact that she was playing "Mr. Monogamy" and rambling on about just having had demonstrated the proper way to put on and remove a condom with a cucumber.  We would expect nothing less from Jess.  It reminds me a little of how bad she was at picking up guys at the bar.

Even though I think Jess was stupid to listen to the craziest poor man she knew (aka Nick) and go tell off Russel at his office, it was a good thing that she did.  On a side note, no one wanted to listen to Winston (aka the 3rd smartest guy in the loft) who suggested that she just make a simple apology to Russel to reduce the likelihood she would enrage him enough to withdrawal all his donations to her school.  If she hadn't gone to Russel's office, her car wouldn't have broken down in the street, and Russel wouldn't have been able to show up and offer her his car and an invitation to his cookout.

I had mixed feelings about Jess accepting Russel's help (although if my car was stuck in the middle of the street, I think I would readily take anyone's help) and his invitation.  I mean, they barely knew each other and the first time they met, he was pretty rude.  I would wonder if he had something under his sleeve.  Worse still, she accepted the invitation and brought Nick along.  Really?  Nick?  I was worried he would either make a huge jackass out of himself or piss off Russel without Jess having to do a thing.

Instead, Nick went from scoffing at all the luxury Russel lived in with classic lines such as:

This hallway is excessive.  It's braggy.

To becoming so enamored with Russel's desk that he felt like he could be a CEO or a president.  He also grabbed a wooden duck and felt like he understood hunting for the first time.  It was incredible how Nick went off the deep end (of amazement at a better lifestyle) in such a short while.  By the time Russel came into the room, Nick already had his sweater on and seemed pretty settled in (I think Jess could have easily left him there without him noticing for a day).  When Nick rambled on to explain himself to Russel, it was hilarious that he thought the sweater was for the chair (a chair sweater--how fancy do you think he is?).  I wonder if Russel would have been as nice to let him keep the sweater and give him a new phone if he didn't like Jess as much.  Still, that's a long way to go to date a girl.  I would take more time to figure out if Jess was on the level (she's on her own level, that's for sure) before I tried to win over her friends.

I felt embarrassed for Jess when she had the fiasco in the bathroom with the Japanese bidet, but it was also very familiar to me.  The control panel for the toilet was just like the many ones I saw while in Japan, so I enjoyed the reminder of my previous life.  I'm just glad that none of the toilets I ever used had an automated voice.  Also, what was Jess thinking pressing random buttons and sitting down on a toilet like that?  I would have ran out of there too, acting as stupid as she did.

 The best part of the end of this story was not that Russel asked Jess out properly, nor that she fell into the koi pond, but was that Nick, listening to Russel's instructions that he should only fold his new sweater, rushed to fish Jess out of the water, but never made it there in time because he was too busy folding his sweater as carefully as if it was his most prized possession (it probably for a man who has a credit score like he does).

I also liked that they showed a few clips of Nick playing "boss" or whatever kind of important person he could imagine.  It was like watching a little boy playing in his father's study or something.  Perhaps Nick really will take the things that Russel told him to heart and start to get a little of his life together.  It's like as the episodes go on, you get to see one more thing about Nick that makes you wonder how he gets by.

I'm not too in love with the idea of Jess dating Russel, but I'm curious to see if he can really impress her.  I know that money isn't going to make Jess swoon, but perhaps he can relate to her on some level that no one else has so far.  Or at least, we can enjoy Jess floundering around while she tries to have a normal meal with him (looking forward to that disaster).  If Russel can do any kind good for this show, I would love to see him have a good impression on Nick and challenge him to be the best man he can be.  Perhaps if Nick grows a little as a person, we might see him and Jess get together a little sooner than I'm waiting for.