Don't Ask Tessa

Suburgatory, S02E14

Fueled by how well Tessa thought things were going with Ryan, Tessa began giving love advice to students and staff at school, whether her opinion was wanted or not.  She stuck her nose into Mr. Wolfe's relationship with Chef Alan when she observed a possible cheating situation.  George wanted Noah and Dallas to end their feud, so he tried to help Dallas coach the T-ball team she hoped would crush Noah's.  George soon saw that Dallas' coaching style, while not teaching the kids how to play the game, ended up being a more enriching experience for the kids than his take-no-prisoners approach.

I haven't a clue why Tessa would get such an inflated head after surving some trials with Ryan.  They haven't even made to a year of a successful dating.  It seems a little early for her to be claiming herself an expert, no matter what others think of her.  My main problem with Tessa dishing out tips of love is that most of the time she has had an issue with Ryan, she went to Dallas for advice.  She probably would have broken up with him by now if it wasn't for her.  So Tessa doesn't really know anything about making it work, I think.  It was so bizarre to me that she was so cocky.  I guess this is one thing I don't like about Tessa.  She takes a little praise a little too far.  I mean, she was messing with adult relationships.  She doesn't know squat.

I actually hoped that Tessa would be brought down to earth when Chef Alan proved to be innocent of cheating on Mr. Wolfe.  I was just as shocked as him that Tessa was right about the whole thing (well, she wasn't right to make him roller skate in purple hot pants).  Throughout the whole episode Lisa kept suggesting that Tessa focus on her own boyfriend, but I didn't pay her much mind because I thought she just didn't like that Tessa was meddling so much (even though Lisa would totally do the same thing).  I was floored when Lisa pointed out to Tessa that Ryan's absence had nothing to do with an away game as she had thought.  What the hell is going on?!  They cannot do this to me.  I hated how they suggested that Ryan is doing something shady and ended the episode there.  What?!   If he's cheating on her, I'll go crazy.

I think I felt pretty much the same as George about the rivaltry between Noah and Dallas.  They needed to hurry up and bring that to a close.  Especially because Noah was determined to go around stealing everythng from Dallas that he could, including her hairstyle and OB/GYN.  Um, he's lost it.  I was annoyed that when he knew that George was getting involved in their T-ball match, he made some Grinch-like moves and started taking things from George as well, including a smoker detector and a chair.  George is a better friend than me because while that moron's arms were full of my stuff, I would have smashed a bowl on his head.  However, I loved when George called Noah "Mufasa" due to his poofy new hairdo.  That was great.

Dallas also had a good line when she was arguing with George about the quality of hair styling the new girl did on her. George claimed that she had done a wonderful job on Dallas' hair, but Dallas vehemently disagreed:

She did no such thing, you ignorant fool!

Dallas was just so passionate about that that it made me laugh.  I don't think I could be angry or keep a straight face if she called me a fool like that.

The T-ball game didn't go at all as I thought it would.  The kids seemed resistant to George's coaching, but by the time they were playing, they were vicious players calling for the other team's blood.  I don't even know how long George taught them, but their progress was crazy.  I thought Dallas would just lose from the kids wanting to dance and eat frozen treats rather than them being disqualified for injuring a kid.  Wow.  It all worked in George's favor because Dallas agreed (or halfway did) that she would end the feud between her and Noah, while Noah was happy that it looked like George had thrown the game for Noah's sake.  Also, George noticed that making kids super competitive wasn't as good as letting them have fun.  I would have hated to see him get caught up in victory as well when the game had nothing to do with him really.

This episode was okay.  It wasn't too fun watching Tessa put her nose into things that weren't really her business.  I didn't want to see her mess up Mr. Wolfe's relationship with Alan, so it was slightly good that her suspicions about him turned out to be correct.  What was really bad, though, is that they alluded to the fact that Tessa and Ryan might have trouble in paradise.  It's killing me to think that Ryan is up to no good when things have been so amazing between them.  Dallas and Noah seem to finally have brought an end to their long battle, but I wouldn't say that it's impossible they'll fight again.  They seem to have similar taste when it comes to employees, so they may soon be at each other's throats again before we know it.