All Of Marks Dreams Come True...For Randall

Ugly Americans, S03E02

I have to say that this show is pretty disgusting most of the time, but I enjoy the unique concept of it.  You have to love Mark trying his best at the Department of Integration with all of these wacko monster and alien-like people.  What made this episode different from most was that he wasn't spending most of his time trying to fix someone else's problem, but rather was trying to stop Randall from achieving everything he wanted in life, including becoming Senior Social Service Coordinator and being the star of his own football team.  In other stories, Callie pimps out Leonard so she can raise enough money for a new car, and Twaine reveals his gambling problem.

Mark is by no means my favorite character on the show, but I appreciate his tolerant demeanor and ability to see good in all of the miscreants that has to reform so they are suitable members of society.  That being said, I hate that Randall takes no heed of what kind of consequence his actions have upon his roommate and best friend, and this time was no exception.  No wonder when Randall's newly equipped arm encouraged Twaine to make him a ringer for Mark's team and he got Mark's dream job that Mark started digressed into a possibly alcoholic and suicidal maniac who was desperate enough to steal football plays and join Grime's team.  I feel like when Mark was juiced up on steroids for a while he managed to get a little revenge on Randall, but not enough before he returned to his senses.  Mark needed to beat the crap out of him, really, but I guess even with his body pumped full of drugs, he's not going to get that far.  Pity.  At least Randall lost his arm in the end.

Speaking of his arm and the crappy work done on it, that Croatian guy is lucky he didn't get arrested for practicing medicine with no American-based license.  Whenever Mark can walk again, he should drive both legs into that guy's chest.  Can believe he tried to fix Mark's leg with a saw and some mustard.  Eww.  I shudder to think about the infection and the misshapen bone regrowth.

In Twaine's story, I'm reminded of how he's almost like a child in the way that he is so stupid about how the world works.  He has all this money in his desk and other places, which I wonder if it's all for bets or if it's just always there because he's the boss.  Either way, he lost all of it, I'm sure, while ignoring all the signs that he was going to lose from his bookie.  I loved that his bookie became a sort of therapist for him, saying that his need for friendship was causing him to gamble so much.  He even agreed to be Twaine's friend, but he was still going to take the money from him.  The bookie, unlike Twaine, was no dummy when it came to getting paid.  My favorite conversation between him and Twaine was after the bookie explained to him the horrible odds against the bet Twaine wanted to make with a million dollars:

[Bookie] As a bookie I'm compelled to take your bet.

[Twain] Is there a second half to that sentence? 

[Bookie] No, that's it.

The Callie story was good too.  I thought she might have had more of a problem getting Leonard to earn her enough money for her car, but she got it as fast as Leonard seemed to adapt to the prostitute lifestyle.  Her pimp walk was excellent and so was her general skills soliciting another person for profit.  I liked when she scared off the other pimp trying to recruit Leonard from her.  I was surprised that she ripped up his contract as soon as she got what she wanted and didn't milk him for all that he had.  She may be a conniving devil, but at least she's all business.

On a sort of random side note, I just have to saw how I love Doug.  He's kind of useless, but he is a cute koala man.  I liked when he said his dream was to fly, and Randall helped him achieve it by giving him a sky glider.  Although he is more or less a person, I still think he might be better suited for a zoo.

Very glad to see this show up for a third season, even though I have to cringe a lot when I watch it.  I like that they keep adding different and strange characters for Mark to add to his reform group, so it keeps things from being too predictable.  I think if you can get around the disgusting things, a lot of people would enjoy it. I know I do, and I hope it will make it to their fourth season next year too.

The Flag In The Pancake! Of Course!

The Cleveland Show, S03E14

Last Sunday, Cleveland tried to bond with his father, the infamously callous Freight Train, but instead Junior is showered with the fatherly love that Cleveland just can't seem to grab (just like a certain flag).  Rallo also gets a car and drives it around town with his friends (What?  All of those mothers, including Donna, should be arrested).  I would have figured a story about Cleveland whining about Freight Train not loving him enough (He should have given up long ago) would have made me want to fast-forward to Rallo being adorably reckless, but it was much better than I thought.

They started the episode strongly with Rallo watching BET's "Projects Runway."  This parody was amplified by Tim Gunn actually voicing himself who was promptly beat on the street by his thug contestants.  I would watch that show, providing they could keep Tim alive (I think he is just a delightful man).  Rallo sweetens the joke by commenting, "Really, BET?"  I don't often watch that channel anymore, but sometimes when I hear about the shows they have (or have had), that is the kind of thing I would say.

We all should by now know that Junior is a genius of some sorts, so when he was predicting the outcome of the game before it had even started, it was a no-brainer that he would be right.  However, I couldn't foresee the kind of system that he would use:  which mascot would win in a "real" fight?  If only it were a matter of imagining the fight between all of those mascots to see which team would be the winner.  I think Junior's most far-fetched calculation (that we were allowed to see, anyway) was when he figured that Clemson's Tiger would win against Texas's Longhorn.  They were fighting in space, on a platform where spikes were coming out of the ground, but the deciding factor was that the bull would just be too clumsy and fall off into the void of space.  With those kinds of scenarios, Junior could just make up any winner he wished.  He should get into writing books because he is out of control with his imagination.  It was funny, though.

Cleveland, and probably the audience, didn't expect that Junior and Freight Train would continue to hang out when the gambling was through (although I had expected Junior to make a bad bet and lose his grandfather's favor that way), but Freight Train and Junior became an unstoppable combo.  Cleveland was beside himself with jealousy, especially when Freight Train referenced Star Wars (here we go again, Seth MacFarlane--it's like watching Muppet Babies sometimes), and Cleveland had been wanting to get him to watch that forever ago.  What was really good about when Junior and FT decided to bond permanently was the cutaway to the two enjoying a teeter-totter.  Their faces were so close while they were lying next to each other, and Junior asked if FT was going to kiss him.  Thank you for voicing what I was thinking with anxiety (you never know in SF world--they like to go there).  Also, Cleveland using a fake guillotine to show that they would continue to gamble over his dead body was good.  Freaked me out for a second, but then I laughed at how far he needed to go to make his point.

I didn't think we would ever understand why FT didn't like Cleveland, beyond just assuming that FT just didn't like how different Cleveland turned out to be from himself, but Cleveland's sappy speech and complaining prompted FT to remind Cleveland of how he let down his father many years ago.  It was all because they competed in this Double Dare-esq showed called "Dare Squared."  Oh, my God!  That takes me back!  When FT was talking about him not finding a flag in a pancake, I was like, "What the hell is he talking about??" until I saw them on that game show.  That was such a great show and so messy!  Of course, Seth MacFarlane puts his own twisted spin on the flag challenge with a toilet and a birth tube out of a woman's vagina, but the pancake thing was very close to something they would actually have on that show.  I loved this reference, and the fact that Cleveland was so blind he couldn't find the flag that was in plain sight (There were many times I was yelling at the TV for the contestants to find those flags that seemed right in their face).  FT claims that incident was the start of his life going to hell.  Unlikely, but I enjoy a good grudge where you can mutter bitterly about something like:

It was under the damn butter.

This will probably go under one of my favorite random references in the SF world.  This one is almost as good as when Peter was fighting Mr. Washee Street Fighter style.

It was pointless to think that FT would change and start loving Cleveland (unless he got into a time machine and found that damn flag), but it was likely that Junior would recognize that Cleveland was a better father than FT would ever be, and those two would be closer after their golf tournament was through.  It was nice that Junior recalled his days of playing golf back in Quahog (where he was a naturally gifted player) and commented that he was heavier now than he was (I'll admit that character change was hard to overlook at first, even though Junior barely had any scenes in Family Guy).

Rallo, during this battle for FT's love, was purchasing himself a car through all the change Donna neglected to collect from him after she would send him on errands for her.  Speaking of neglect, um, who sends a boy of his age to fetch some frosting or anything from the store on his own?  No matter how close it was or safe a neighborhood, Rallo is only about so big--he has a higher chance of falling down a gutter than making it to the store safely.  Donna is messed up!  But Rallo is a little genius, keeping all that money until he had $2900 to spend on a '67 Mustang.  What??  It's amazing what you can buy on the internet and what children can do with the internet despite their young age.

I loved Rallo driving around town in his car with his friends.  I kept thinking he was going to crash right away, but he had several joyrides before that happened.  The absolute best part of him having his own car was when he was lost and asked for directions at the gas station.  Instead of using an address or a map, he showed the cashier a crayon-drawn picture of his house.  That was so cute!!  And hilarious.  I thought he would get caught then and there, but he ran as soon as the guy looked like he was going to call the police.  Again, smart little boy.

You would think that when he was drinking and texting, Rallo would crash the car then.  Nope.  Those writers are good at making you wonder when the inevitable will happen.  Rallo didn't even have an accident when he left the wheel and jumped in the back to beat up his annoying friends.  Dang!  That is some luck.  He finally ran out it when he drove through the golf course and was propelled out of his seat into the air (another cute and funny Rallo moment).  They ended the episode strongly as well with Rallo popping out of the dirt like a little gopher and singing.  I have never seen Caddyshack, but somehow I knew this was a reference to that movie.  How, I'm not sure.  I think I must have heard that there was a gopher in it somewhere, and it's the only 80s movie I can think of about golf (in SF World, you're pretty safe to assume the movie references are from the 80s).  Perhaps I might have thought it even funnier if I had seen the movie, but Rallo makes me smile just on his own account.

This episode was balanced well between it being about Cleveland and also about his sons, without the women in his family really being involved.  However, it makes me worry that next time we'll have to see more of them to preserve the status quo.  If that's the case, I really hope that they put in another little Rallo sidestory (although last week the story wasn't bad on its own).  Rallo always makes everything better.