Scramble To The Portal

Once Upon A Time, S02E09

Emma and the others went to search for squid ink in Rumpelstiltskin's jail cell, but were trapped there by Cora and Hook.  Regina and Rumpelstiltskin worked together to use magic that would destroy whoever came through the portal, fearing that it would most likely be Cora and Hook.  The past between Cora and Hook was also revealed.

It was obvious to me that finding that scroll with Emma's name written on it in a stalkerish manner was going to be useful for something.  I didn't think it would be able to melt away the cell's bars, though.  That was a little weird to me.  Weirder than Rump sitting in there many years ago writing down Emma's name.

Later, it was interesting that Emma went to Rump and pointed out that he could have broken out of that cell anytime he wanted, but he was just chilling out there plotting his revenge.  I would have never gotten to the conclusion, like Emma had, that Rump had written out her fate long ago.  Rump does have a past of using people like his puppets for some long-term goal that's not clear (like his hand in molding Regina into a powerful magic user), but I feel like a lot more people were involved in what's happened in Emma's life than just Rump.  August, for instance, played his part.  But I guess that scroll with her name on it written before she was even born freaked her out to make her supsicious.

I wonder what sort of magic Emma will be capable of now that there's evidence that her being a product of true love protects her from heart-ripping attacks and the like.  Rump had been interested in bottling "true love" in the past, so I feel like he'll become even more interested in Emma in the future now that he knows she has some kind of unique magic about her.  I wonder if he'll try to take advantage of her magic one day.

Speaking of the heart ripping thing, that fight around the portal back to Storybrooke was so dumb.  I mean, you would think that with Cora being the only one using magic that she could use something really big to wipe out Mulan, Snow, and Emma in one wave of her hand.  Mulan was fighting her pretty well for someone only having a sword, as well as Snow who only had arrows.  Then it was just weird to me that Emma wasn't cut in a deadly way within two seconds of fighting Hook when she has had no training to sword fight.  Hook should have destroyed her!  He clearly had the upper hand, but it was crazy that he had any problems with Emma at all.  It was funny when she knocked Hook out--didn't see that coming.  It was moving when Emma took the "bullet" for Snow when Cora was about to rip Snow's heart out.  Lucky for her that it didn't work.

Back in Storybrooke, I felt pretty bad for Regina.  She clearly wanted to do the right thing and help Emma and Snow the best way she could, but then Rump came along and poisoned her mind.  Don't get me wrong, though--I loved seeing them work together even if it was for something bad.  I knew that Regina wasn't 100 percent on board with Rump's "win-win" view of what they were doing, and I was happy that she was swayed by Henry's words.  The funny thing about that was that Rump was just standing around not doing anything.  I mean, he did blow Red away the second she tried to get close, but the real danger to his plan was Henry and he didn't do much to stop him from changing Regina's mind.  And after it was all said and done, he just quietly limped away to his store.  No one held him accountable for anything.

Anyway, Regina nearly kills herself after reversing the magic they put on the portal, and she got the short end of the stick at the end.  Emma did thank her and so did Henry with a hug, but after everything was good again, she didn't get an invitation to dinner.  Okay, so Regina isn't friends with anyone in town, really, but she did sort of look after Charming while he was under the sleep spell.  As much of a bitch that Regina was I couldn't help but feel bad when everyone joyously left Rump's store and left her there by herself.  It was just thanks for helping get Emma and Snow back, but don't you dare eat with us.  Really?  That was cold, ya'll.  Rump did not make it better by pointing out that Henry was just going to get closer to Emma, but Regina had little hope of even sharing a meal with him.  Talk about twisting the knife!  But I sort of liked that he had to stir the pot a little.

That was the part that made me the most outraged, while I was most moved by when Henry saw Emma coming out of the well and called her "mom."  I don't know if he ever has done that before, but he still calls Regina "mom," so it was just sweet to see Emma and Henry hug while he called her that.  I mean, it was like "Regina who?" at that moment, but Emma had worked pretty hard to get back to her son, so it was nice to see her achieve her goal.

I was hardly moved by Snow reviving Charming with her kiss.  I was especially annoyed at the dwarves standing around looking sort of worried that Snow's kiss might not work.  Um, we all know that it will!  The sleeping curse has been broken so many damn times.  It's almost like when has it ever been permanent?

In the past, it was interesting that both Regina and Cora tried to use Hook.  He eventually sided with Cora because she knew more about the curse than Regina did and her knoweldge better suited his plans for revenge.  But besides that, it was a nice change of pace to see Regina in her queen mode again.  I feel like it's been a while since we've seen her like that.  For some reason, I really enjoyed her outfit with all that bling hanging down her back.  It's a sharp contrast to the stuff that she wears around Storybrooke.  She may have been really wicked back then, but at least she had some style.

Anyway, who would be surprised that Cora was the Queen of Hearts?  I mean, I figured that out as soon as I saw Regina toss her mother into a magic mirror--you had to know where she was going.  It does make me think of that one time when Regina went to Wonderland and was trying really hard to avoid the Queen of Hearts.  Was her mother the ruler then?  I feel like I need to revist that older episode now.

Another interesting part from the past was Cora's change of heart.  She seemed shocked that a daughter who pushed her into another world to escape her might want her dead (really, Cora?  That surprised you?), but she easily decided not to murder Regina when Regina confessed her love for her mother and the reasons why she had to have her killed before she went to Storybrooke.  I'm surprised that someone as cold as Cora would be moved by that.  Especially since Cora's heart doesn't even seem to be in her body (or maybe she just put it in her butt or something--it's so weird).

The end where Cora and Hook came into the bay or port or whatever of Storybrooke on a big ship was kind of dramatic in a good way.  I like that they arrived somewhere that isn't going to be obvious to someone.  Damn them for leaving that kind of cliffhanger!  

I liked this episode, but I wish the fighting was a little better.  I just always think that Emma should be killed in every fight she has.  Well, at least with anyone magic.  I'm eager to see what kind of magic Emma can do, especially if it will help fight against Cora.  I'm really excited about Cora and Hook entering Storybrooke.  The next episode has got to be super explosive! I can't wait!

Always Carry A Gun In The Hallway

American Dad, S08E05

Stan pretended to put Snot into witness protection so that he could keep Steve and Snot apart.  After spending time alone with Snot, Stan bonded with Snot and fought Steve for Snot's friendship.  Roger kept attacking Jeff in the hallway after Jeff cleaned his room for him.

I usually don't care for Snot, but in this episode he was just such a nice guy about the cruel things Stan was doing to him to keep Steve away that I sort of grew to like him.  I mean, Stan is such a hard person to reach on an emotional level and Snot was able to break through Stan's wall and befriend him.  You just have to love someone who could make Stan cut loose and stop being so callous.  All the things that Stan didn't like that Steve was doing with Snot became the same things that Stan enjoyed.  It's not surprising to see Stan contradict himself, nor try to compete with someone else.  It was just kinda funny to see him competing with Steve for Snot.  Although, if you think about it, it might have been crazier if they were fighting over Barry or something.  At least in this story Snot seemed worthy fighting for.

I can't say that the Roger story was better than the Stan story, but it definitely grabbed my attention more.  Um, Roger is such a psycho!  Usually, he has some kind of selfish reason for screwing someone over, but I don't think he had much reason to attack Jeff beyond wanting to just terrorize him.  At first it seemed like maybe he was doing it just to get back his money so he could get free cleaning services from Jeff, but it went beyond that.  I guess what was the funniest about this sick scenario was that Jeff had no idea that Roger was the same person attacking him, due to that weirdness where some of Roger's personas can't be detected by family members (although I don't know if Jeff even knows that Roger is an alien).  Roger kept attacking Jeff in ways that were impossible for him to pull off because he was basically in two places at the same time.  It made me feel worse for Jeff because he had no chance to escape Roger when Roger could defy the laws of physics.

Another funny point was how the hallway back to Jeff's room kept looking more and more like a creepy alleyway or just the outside of some ghetto apartments or something.  It was all dark and overly long, and at one point I could hear a baby crying.  I liked that ridiculous element of it because you started to forget that Jeff was just walking around in the house, probably not that far away from the attic in the first place.

Roger made the mugging more twisted when he decided to pull down Jeff's pants after assaulting him.  Luckily, Roger said that he didn't have time for it and walked away, but it was very unnerving!  Roger is the best at contradicting the statement that things couldn't get worse.  Even though it's sick that he was trying to violate Jeff, it was funny before Roger's last mugging attempt that he said to himself:

I’m gonna rape him this time.

I just don't get Roger.   With all of his talents (he seems to be able to fake a thousand different professions) and disguises, he could have his choice of real jobs and function outside of the Smith house as a normal person.  But instead, he spends a lot of time at home messing with people.  I mean, it was wonderful that Jeff had a gun to shoot Roger because he seriously was going to rape him.  And for probably no reason more than that he could get a kick out of knowing that Jeff wouldn't know it was him.   But despite all of Roger's flaws, he does spice up an episode with his horrible actions.  And you can't really know what he's going to do in the future because he's some kind of crazy, awful person (err...alien).

This was a good episode to make you appreciate Snot as a character more and possibly it was good to remind you that Stan is pretty pathetic in the friend department.  Roger, as usual, is so insane to the point you can't figure out why he's doing unspeakable things to friends and family.  However, if he didn't do all these shocking things, the show would be pretty dull.  I just really hope I don't have to see him top himself with something worse before the season ends.