Lisa "Cantwell" Them All

The Simpsons, S24E15

Lisa's new substitute was exactly what Lisa had wished for in a teacher, except that she hated Lisa's guts.  Lisa, while racking her brain to find out how she rubbed the woman in the wrong way, continued to be bullied by her new teacher.  Homer went too far with Ned and made him punch him in the eye.  Ned tried to make things right with Homer, but Homer refused to hit him back and make the two of them even while Homer still felt like the better man.

What I liked most overall about Lisa's story was just the idea that even an apple-polisher like Lisa can meet a teacher that doesn't like her.  She might be smart and obedient, but that doesn't mean as a student she's always going to be the star.  I mean, I thik even Mrs. Hoover began to dislike Lisa after a while.  There have been plenty of times that Lisa's made her miserable with her overachieving.  Still, I feel like usually one wouldn't hate Lisa from just a few seconds with her.  I liked that no matter how hard Lisa tried, Ms. Cantwell just couldn't be won over.

Another great point about this story was that Ms. Cantwell was voiced by Tina Fey, giving her an authentically smart-sounding voice.  Hearing her play a teacher reminded me of the movie Mean Girls, where she had to deal with some not entirely likeable girls.  I think this role couldn't have been played better by anyone else.

There few a few specific things that I liked from this story.  The first was when Marge pretended to put a chincilla coat on Lisa to make her fall back to sleep.  It's funny that she doesn't mind making Lisa faint in horror in order to make sure her child is well-rested.  The next is my favorite part where Mrs. Krabapple put Bart into Ms. Cantwell's class.  Bart's entrance was accompanied by demonic-sounding music, and her few minutes of absence gave him enough time to make the room look like a disaster.  I loved how Bart was just circling around in a lawnmover for no reason--what the hell?  That was more than enough to justify her early resignation.  Plus, she still refused to like Lisa, even if she could get Bart's terror to end.  Now that's some deep hatred.

My favorite line also came from this story.  Apparently Ms. Cantwell thought that Skinner and Chalmers were partners:

You two are the worst-dressed gay men I've ever met!

This was just a good story all around.  I even liked that the reason she hated Lisa was because she looked like a pretty, party girl.  It's weird that anyone would mistake Lisa for that type of girl when she's such a bookworm wouldn't even know how to handle a book about partying.

Homer and Ned's story was also good, but not as good as Lisa's.  It was mainly shocking to see Ned punch Homer in the face when he's probably needed to do that on a million other cases where Homer was doing much more terrible things to him.  I suppose Ned was already on edge from his parents being in town, and we all know that his parents are the cause of his anger.  Homer could have just been the icing on the cake.

Speaking of his parents, I swear that we saw them when Ned and Edna got married and they didn't look as old as they did in this episode.  They should look pretty ancient, considering that Ned is even older than Homer, but it's just weird to see their character designs change so recently.  I don't know.  That bothered me at first.

One of the funniest things about this story was just seeing Homer get along so well with Ned's parents.  It was like they were old friends.  Homer's already annoying to Flanders, so to see Ned pissed off even more when Homer was laughing and getting high with his parents was amusing.  All of Ned's sources for rage were right in front of him.  It makes sense that he might throw a fist or two.

My favorite part was when Ned was having trouble sleeping.  He reluctantly took what he referred to as an "sleeping aid," but was just some graham crackers and milk.  I loved that!  Only Ned would be able to make that work for him like that.

One last thing I laughed at was the end where Ned and Homer were praying.  Homer didn't even realize what he was doing on his knees:

This is praying? Let me out of here!

That joke reminds me of some seasons back when Homer was horrified that he was reading a real bible, not the fake one he kept his flask in.

This was one of my favorites episodes so far.  I guess I can always say that it could have been funnier, but that's just a hazard of coveting the earlier seasons that I can still laugh at today.  It was great to see Lisa being tormented by a teacher who refused to like her instead of seeing teachers treat her like a prized jewel.  It is messed up that a teacher would single out a student like that, but since it was Lisa it made the situation funny.  It was even funnier that just a glimpse of what horror Bart could add to the classroom was enough to get Lisa's bully to leave the school.  Ned lost control and finally got a little revenge on Homer, but it worked against him because it made him seem like the aggressor rather than the victim.  I liked, though, that Homer joined forces with Ned's parents and got him to that boiling point.  Since they initiated such an interesting story, it's a shame that they can't visit Ned a little more often.

Milhouse Walks In Kirk's Shoes

The Simpsons, S24E13

Bart decided to make Milhouse pretend to be Kirk when he accidentally shaved his head similar to Kirk's hairstyle.  Bart and Milhouse enjoyed going around town reaping the benefits that only adults could take advantage of.  Homer's obsession with find-it books increased his ability to find things that were out of place.

The novelty of Milhouse dressing up like Kirk was short-lived for me.  At first it seemed like this story was going to go in a good direction, but Bart and Milhouse didn't really do anything that special as far as what they could do as an adult.   My favorite thing that they did was go into Moe's, not to drink, but to ask Moe where babies came from.  Moe's response was intensely disturbing:

Ah, well, in my case my mom was hit with a voodoo curse, I gestated for five years, and then I popped out backwards and on fire.

I like when they make Moe sound inhumane like that.   Over the years he's become more and more of a monster.

Unrelated to the Milhouse story, really, there were a few good lines.  One was when Marge took Lisa to this puppet show that Lisa had suggested.  They soon saw that it was going to be a bunch of puppets getting killed:

[Marge] Maybe we should go.

[Knight] Nobody leave until every puppet dead.

What kind of sickos make you watch puppets get killed?  I like when stuff goes from creepy to scary.

Finally, I liked when Homer asked Marge about Highlights magazine:

[Homer] Marge, can I get a subscription to Highlights magazine?

[Marge] Homer, that's for children.

[Homer] Where does it say that?!

[Marge] Read the rest of the title!

[Homer] Highlights for...doh! 

It was kinda cool that Homer got this "superpower" of detection after reading so many children's books.  This skill turned out to be useful, even when him noticing the free breakfast on a banner seemed to suggest he had forgotten about the kids.  Although, Homer had zeroed in on the free food, he succeeded in finding the kids.  I don't know how he would have been able to otherwise just looking on the streets for something strange.

I also liked the very end of the episode where Homer got mad at Bart for saying that he hoped that he didn't end up looking like Homer.  He was strangling him and complaining that Bart's comment didn't allow them to end things on a heart-warming note.  I liked this because if Homer and Bart hadn't had that moment, it would have ended that way.

Although there wasn't a bunch that I liked from this episode, I still feel like it was good.  I say that because there wasn't anything particularly bad about it.  I just wish that Bart and Milhouse had gotten more creative in what they could do with adult power in their hands.  Homer surprisingly improved himself by reading a children's book.  If only he could read a kid's book that would teach him how to pay attention and work harder.  He might turn into a decent employee.

No One Wants Those Kids

The Simpsons, S24E11

After getting trapped in a life-threatening situation, Homer and Marge sought to find guardians for their children.  They were unable to find appropriate guardians among people they knew, so they happened upon a surfer and an environmental lawyer who were too eager to take the kids.  Homer and Marge learned quickly that this couple was prepared to take their kids before Homer and Marge had even passed.

Well, this was a mildly interesting topic for a story: who would raise Bart and the girls if Homer and Marge died?  Well, despite they know pretty much everyone in town, there aren't a lot of people that they were willing to give the kids to, nor a lot of people in Springfield willing to take them.  I guess I thought it was little funny that they were being avoided by anyone who passed them in town after they failed to find anyone in the family who could properly take the kids.  People were actually opening circles around them like they were playing "guardian tag."  It's sort of sad that they had to cruise around some beach to find strangers rather than anyone they had an actual relationship with.

What I liked best about the couple who agreed to have the kids was that Portia was voiced by Rashida Jones.  She just has a cute voice that sort of sounds like a bit of a know-it-all (not unlike Lisa).  I actually had hoped that the couple would turn out to be not as good as they sounded and something more exciting would happen at the end, but it was just that they liked Bart, Lisa, and Maggie so much that they were willing to take them into their family before it was all legal.  That was the disappointing part.  I had hoped something more unexpected might have happened that would make Homer and Marge run back to get their kids.

I didn't really think anything was that funny.  There's only about two things that almost made me laugh.   One of such was when Homer was having Portia and Mav sign the papers and Portia asked where Bart was:

Oh, uh, well, he wanted to be here, but I’m going to decrease the volume of my voice and mumble so you can’t really understand what I’m saying, and I’ll just keep doing it.

Another was at the beginning when Lisa revealed that playing Emissaries to Byzantium wasn't her idea either:

I don’t like this game. Nobody likes this game. Even the kids on the box look bored. They’re miserable.

The kids on the box looked like they were going to die from boredom.  That was about the most visually amusing thing in the whole episode.

I didn't really care for this episode. It got me thinking about what would happen if Homer's foolhardy actions made both him and Marge die, but in the end, they didn't really come to a solution.  That would have been fine if the path they took to get to that conclusion was fun to watch, but it was missing excitement and humor.  There weren't a lot of memorable scenes, so I can easily see myself forgetting this episode even existed.

What If Bart Had Failed?

The Simpsons, S24E10

To cut costs, the school with the lowest standardized test scores would be shut down, and Springfield Elementary's only hope of staying open was determinate upon Bart's score on the test.  Homer also found a parking meter at the dump and was tricking people into paying it at various locations around town.

I actually would have liked to see what became of the kids if they were sent to different, horrible schools.  Although, since Springfield is the worst school in the state, it couldn't have been worse (at least academically).  I was sort of rooting for Bart to fail, which it looked like he was going to do because he didn't put an ounce of effort into studying.  It reminded me of that very earlier episode where Bart had to study really hard to stop himself from being held back.  He studied really hard and failed, but proved that he had learned something and got a little extra credit.  In this episode, he just had pure luck, and a bug happened to fill in the last question correctly for him.  I guess that's more likely than Bart doing well on a test through his own merits.  That, short of someone dressing up like Bart and taking the test for him, was one of the few ways it was going to work to keep the school open (status quo).  Again, though, I would have liked to see the kids at a different school for a brief moment.

This story wasn't really funny, but I did find myself laughing when Bart imagined that Groundskeeper Willie was lowering a dead Skinner from a flagpole and folding him into a triangle.  That was a little twisted, but for some reason I had to laugh.  I guess it was because it was such a serious moment for Bart and he was still thinking about screwing Skinner over.  No wonder they were ready to knock down the school as soon as the test was over--Bart was so freaking unreliable.

I also liked one line from the proctor concerning the kids' test results:

This place is worse than the elementary school in prison.  This student filled in everything but the ovals.

This story really reminded me of how dumb the kids are at that school.  With kids doing the direct opposite of what they're supposed to do in a test, I'm not entirely sure it's because of the lackluster staff that teach them that they can't even fill in circles.

Homer's story was sort of cute.  I mean, there's nothing like watching Homer going around trying to scam people for a quick buck, especially if it's in a way that seems more trouble than it's worth.  It reminds me of the time he had the telemarketing scam going on--he was right that this fake parking meter was his most successful business.  The thing that was dumb was that he went to spend the money at a bus station pay-TV.  He might as well have been tossing all the money he "worked" for down a well (which he did, in a disappointing conclusion).  Then again, I guess Homer couldn't very well go around town spending quarters like that when there was a news report about his illegal activities.  Still, it would have been nice to see him do something fun with that money before Marge found out and made him do the "right" thing.

Oh, I also thought the couch gag was nice.  Usually, I just ignore it and just wish the episode would start, but I liked seeing them make them sitting on the couch see like a dramatic, action-packed movie trailer.  The tagline "Don't get too comfortable" made me laugh.

This episode was a little better than some of the others just because it wasn't very annoying in any way really.  I tend to like the stories that revolve around the school, especially when the main character is going to be Bart.  He's shown that when push comes to shove, some kind of unbelievable luck will pull him through and never any kind of effort upon his part (at least where learning is concerned) will.  Homer and his parking meter were a great pair in business, but he barely even got to enjoy the fruits from his misdeeds.  I miss Homer trying all these bad ideas to get money outside of doing his own job properly--it feels like we don't get to see him doing nearly enough of that nowadays.

TEOTWAWKI

The Simpsons, S24E09

Homer got involved with a group of people in town preparing for a possible crumble of civilization.  Homer kept his preparation a relative secret and moved the family to the preppers' hidden community after there was a sudden shut down of all technology in town.  Marge had to convince him to return to "society" and share their supplies instead of letting their town suffer on its own.

This isn't the first time that Homer's jumped on the doomsday bandwagon, so I wasn't really excited about the idea.  However, at least there was really no harm in Homer preparing for the worst.  No one got hurt or anything, and when the family returned to town to help everyone, no help was even needed.  You just had to enjoy Homer's crazy ride until he saw it through.  And that kind of story I'm okay with, but it's not really too amusing.

That being said, there were a few things that I liked in particular.  At the beginning, I liked when Homer called Marge "mom" and then switched to calling her "Mrs. Simpson."  I think this worked for me because Homer is often at the same level as his kids, and it feels like Marge is the only real adult.  Another part I liked was when Homer was looking for Bart and Lisa and kept finding similar kids, but not his own, and when he finally did see them, he was like "who the hell are you?"

One of my favorite things, though, was when you could see the production name of the video that the Prepper showed Homer at Moe's that said, "you're all gonna die productions."  That, in combination with the ridiculous video that guy had shown him, made that name really funny to me.

There were also a few lines that I liked.  The first was when Homer mistakenly thought that the new group he had joined were preppies:

[Prepper Guy] Not preppies. Preppers.  But I like your hatred.[Homer] It’s based on nothing.

The other line I liked was when Homer was remarking on how people mocked him, despite that civilization had seemed to crumble as he predicted:

[Homer] Marge, when I started prepping for the end of the world, everyone laughed at me.[Marge] No one was laughing.  You kept it a secret![Homer] Well, just because I imagined it, doesn’t make it any less true.

I also find it interesting that when the Learn Zone was locked down that it was the men who freaked out instead of the women.  I took notice of this mainly because on Family Guy I just know they would show the opposite.  I was reminded of that episode on said show where Peter and the others thought that they were the only ones left in the world and Stewie simulated the same situation for the ladies and they simply fought each other.  It's just refreshing to see a scene when push comes to shove, it's not always women who lose their shit, but sometimes guys.  Realistically, both parties would have freaked out, I think.  Terror due to being suddenly trapped is not gender limited.

I don't know what to make of the "twist ending" where the zombies were riding the meteor or whatever to Earth.  It might have been a reference to some movie or something.  Or just something to make Homer's adventure a little more ironic.  Just wish it were ironic in a funnier way.  I felt like it was unnecessary.

There were enough good bits in the episode to keep it from being completely boring.  However, I didn't think the overall idea of it was very original.  But this show has been on forever, so it's a little hard to expect them to be throwing out fresh ideas at every turn at this point.  I'm content enough that there were things to enjoy period, and nothing in particular to complain about.

Homer's Dog

The Simpsons, S24E08

Homer lost sight of Santa's Little Helper after spending the day playing an online  game.  When Bart found him and questioned why Homer wasn't happy to see the dog again, Grandpa revealed the story about how Homer's childhood dog was forced to find a new home.

If you've ever wondered why Homer neglects his dog, this would be the story for you.  I find it hard to think that any fan of this show was wondering this.  Usually, I like stories about Homer as a kid because it's sort of interesting to see how the boy became the man today, but this time I found it hard to care.  I guess it's because I didn't really question Homer's attitude toward Santa's Little Helper.  I mean, there are times when Homer loves the dog, and there are times when the dog might as well be a lamp because he doesn't pay it much attention.  Still, I would have assumed that Homer just doesn't like anything that doesn't have to do with food and beer in general.  It's not really a mystery.  I guess besides seeing a young Homer, it was nice to see a young Abe (and less cranky) and a young Mr. Burns (a little less frail).

As for the jokes my favorite would have to be when Homer was watching a video on his tablet and said:

Man, that keyboard-playing cat is so cute.

But when you looked at his screen, it was just this guy playing like jazz piano or something.  That wasn't hilarious, but I enjoyed it still.

Another thing I liked was when Mr. Burns came out from behind a lawn flamingo.  Only someone as slim as him could have pulled that off.  A little later, I almost had a laugh when Abe tossed Homer to the second floor room, nearly missing.  That reckless treatment of kids must be something passed down from generation to generation for the Simpsons.

Other than that, I sort of just liked how much trouble Abe went through to protect Homer.  You sometimes forget that Abe was more than a grumpy, old man yelling about all of Homer's faults.  He sometimes sacrificed things (like his own home to pay for Homer's new home) for the sake of his son.  It's not often something we see, so I could enjoy the story just for that simple fact.

I don't have really anything to say about Mr. Burns explaining the "fiscal cliff."  If they had to fill in a few more minutes, it's too bad they couldn't had done something a little funnier.  This week's story was a little more "aww" than it was "haha."

This was a take-it-or-leave-it episode.  It had few jokes that worked for me, but it sort of balanced that out by being a story in the past (which I usually like) and being on the sweet side.  However, it's not really one that I see myself wanting to watch again.  I don't feel like anything significant was revealed or accomplished by Homer's back story, so  I feel mostly like it was a bit of a waste.

MyPad Is All You Need

The Simpsons, S24E06

After Homer was feeling down about his recent bad luck, he won a Mapple myPad and found happiness using it excessively in his daily life.  When he destroyed it from a myPad-distracted accident, Homer was depressed again until he found a message written on a tree in sap.

I think that in general stories about Homer using some kind of technology or sophisticated device is pretty good because everyone knows that Homer is an idiot and will use it in a funny way.  I can't help but be reminded of the episode where he bought a new computer and quickly tossed it in the trashcan after failing to master it within a few seconds.  Homer today can operate an iPad knock-off like a pro, using it to entertain as well as a working tool.  My favorite part was when Homer used the translating app to have a conversation with Mr. Burns:

[Mr. Burns] Simpson!  Unhand your Edison slate and bring your gold-brickery to a caesura![Translator] Put down your myPad and get back to work.[Homer] Sorry, boss.[Translator] Your remonstrances are a welcome boon and surely will redouble my diligence.[Mr. Burns] Excellent![Translator] Awesome![Homer] Woo hoo!
[Translator] Pip-pip! 

Another quote that I liked was a little later was when Marge was getting concerned about him using his myPad for anything that he could:

[Marge] Homie… it looks like you’re putting all your eggs in one basket.
[Homer] What would you have me do?  One basket for each egg?
[Marge] Hmm, I guess you’re right.  I guess I’ll have to scratch that off the list of things I say.

That part made me rethink that phrase.  Haha.

Some other scenes that that worked for me was when Homer threw Bart back into the lion's den after Bart had tricked him, Homer playing a distracted driver game, and Steve Mobbs scaring Homer into submission by bring up Hewlett-Packard products.  The last one was a little clever.  I mean, I hate HP stuff (although I stay clear of Apple stuff because it's a little cult-ish nowadays), so if someone were to bring up that point to me, I might jump to push the submit button as well.

The last thing that I liked was a quote from Dr. Hibbert:

This is the part of the job I hate most.  Talking to crazy people.

I feel like any job that has some level of customer service, you'll feel that way.  There's always some crazy people that come along.

I don't know how I feel about that little segment at the end where all the ads and products from the Simpsons World were alive.  It wasn't bad, but it was just weird.  Obviously they had to fill in a few more minutes, so they threw that in.  I would have preferred something that was related to the previous story.  But it was a little interesting to try and catch all those ads like Buzz Cola and Mister Sparkle that were shown over the years in this show.

This wasn't a bad episode.  I was surprised that the message on the tree was done by a sleepwalking Homer and not Flanders, though.  I mostly enjoyed Homer overusing his myPad to the point of destroying it.  Plus, he was able to overcome the funk he was in without having to rely on an electronic distraction.  That was a good message I could appreciate.  It's not the strongest commentary on the issue of people"s reliance on technology nowadays, but I still liked that they gave an effort.

We Need More Fat Tony

The Simpsons, S2405

Homer's new bowling pal, Dan, was made a temporary don for Fat Tony's gang and wanted Homer to help Dan stop himself from murdering the excess members.  Lisa tried to solve her iron deficiency by eating bugs, despite her strict vegetarian beliefs, and found that adding any kind of meat into her diet opened the door for others.

This episode was really lacking.  First of all, there was a lot of focus on Dan, who was played by Steve Carell, but his character wasn't that interesting.  Since he's the new guy, his personality and whatnot had to be explained rather quickly and I found that I didn't care so much about him until he went for Homer's help later.  Second, I was really annoyed that there was hardly any Fat Tony in a basically Fat Tony episode.  I might say he's my favorite non-Simpson family character.  Of course, they're not really going to show him serving jury duty for the whole episode, but I wish that he didn't have to be going to that at all.  Dan wasn't so funny that I wasn't wondering when Fat Tony or Homer was going to come back.  Plus, you know they are not going to do another Fat Tony episode for a while (or ever, possibly), so there's another disappointment there.

It was a little interesting to see Lisa eating things like grasshoppers.  It was also a little gross.  I've never liked insects, so I didn't enjoy all the bug-filled dishes they kept showing nor when she planted all those grasshopper eggs.  Eww.  At the beginning of the story, I did like how Bart pointed out the song they were playing was from a Bugs Bunny cartoon.  As a kid, that is where I learned a lot of classic and famous music from.  I might not know the names, but I've definitely heard the songs in one of those classic cartoons.  My favorite line, too, came from this story when Bart was making fun of Lisa eating bugs and Homer chatised him:

Bart!  This is America.  Anyone can eat what they want as long as they eat too much.

See, we could have had more lines like that had Homer been more present in the episode.  But what can ya do?

This might have been a better episode if it was just about the freaking Pin Pals playing in another tournament.  I mean, seriously.  Lisa's cheating some on her vegetarian diet wasn't a bad story, but as a side story it didn't make up for Dan's story.  I know that they've done a whole lot of Fat Tony stories, but I can't help but want more because I just love Joe Mantegna.  Really hope he makes another appearance this season!

Grandpa's Other Wife

The Simpsons, S24E04

After receiving money from a fast food injury, Homer put the money in a college fund for Lisa via an online poker site.  Lisa soon became hooked on playing and increasing her money for her higher education.  Marge and Homer discovered that Grandpa had gone missing after they neglected to show up for a visit.  They spent their time looking for him, while learning about his past as a songwriter and his short-lived marriage.

This wasn't the funniest story, but it was a little interesting to learn about Abe's past.  I would think that we've explored the skeletons in his closet enough, though, but they did an okay job of still making this worth watching.  Two things that were almost funny to me were when two chained dogs at Spiro's wussed out on a fight after getting free and the poker game telling Lisa to log off because they could all hear her crying.  None of the jokes worked extremely well for me, but I sensed an effort.

The most interesting thing in this episode was that Abe was married briefly after he had split up with Mona.  It was conveniently over pretty much as soon as they were married.   The brief nature of their relationship distracted you from imagining this new timeline working into what we already know about Abe.  I suppose I could overlook that Homer didn't remember that at all because Abe took him to an airport bar to drink away their memories after Rita left for Europe without them.  I don't know if Abe actually forgot about her all those years (since is prone to forget most things), but it's a little weird that he had a black wife when he refused to tell the truth about the Simpson family tree including a slave named Virgil.  He seemed ashamed to admit that, but had few problems wedding a black woman.  But it wasn't as if he ever told Homer about it, so perhaps he had intended to keep it a secret like Virgil.

Another thing that I thought was a little odd was that the lawyer Roberto Deniro (ha) had these acid markers on hand to burn Homer.  What would he be using those for??  I was also a little confused the way the beginning story didn't really tie into the main story.  I mean, thanks to Homer's onion ring incident, Lisa did get to gamble her college fund online, but Lisa's story was a side story that didn't really connect to the main story at all.  I don't know.  I just feel like Marge noticing that they forgot to visit Grandpa could have been a little more relevant to what was going on before.

Lisa's side story wasn't too memorable, and I had a feeling that Sideshow Bob was really Bart after all.  And of course, it wasn't a surprise that they had to maintain the status quo and Bart's winnings were returned to $5000 due to him not being of legal gambling age.  It would be too good of an outcome for her to have so much money to spend on college.

I probably would watch this episode again to check out some things that I didn't pay a lot of attention to, like the contents of Granpa's army locker.  I thought it was nice to hear Anika Noni Rose, but I wouldn't say that the story would have been worse if she hadn't played Rita.  I just enjoyed learning that there was more to Abe's love life in the past than we had thought.  And even though Homer and Grandpa don't get along so well, it was sweet to see that he sacrificed a lot to make sure that Homer grew up safely.  I can overlook the flimsy plot when there's sentiment to be found.  I'm a sucker for that for this show.

Worst Idea Ever

The Simpsons, S24E03

Marge discovered that her displeasure about a car was due to the fact that she didn't want to stop having children.  Homer was against the idea, but came around to the idea before he and Marge got to the sperm bank where Homer had donated to in the past.  Bart enlisted the help of Lisa's old boyfriends and others to help him find out where Lisa was going off in secret.

I hope I wasn't the only one horrified by the previews of this episode where they let viewers know that it was possible that Maggie would be replaced as the Simpsons youngest child.  I could deal with Patty being openly gay or Flanders being married to Mrs. Krabapple, but there's no way I could sit back and enjoy them expanding the Simpsons clan like that.  That would be the biggest slap in the face ever.  I don't think I could accept another person in that family.  Their roles are too set in for another character to come in and mess up the dynamic.

Luckily, it was just a scare.  After seeing the wall of ugly and disturbing Homer offspring by strangers, Marge and Homer agreed that it was a bad idea.  Man, that really would have been the straw that broke the camel's back for me.  I've being lenient with this show because it's one of my lifetime favorites, but I couldn't accept baby number four under any circumstances (it'd be like Itchy and Scratchy getting Poochie that one time).

There wasn't anything too funny in either story and it was entirely because I was terrified that Marge and Homer were gonna get pregnant in the end.  Some things I liked, though, included when Bart got the help of Nelson, Ralph, and Milhouse to spy on Lisa.  It was a little funny to see a collection of her past boyfriends like that.  Which leads me to another part that wasn't exactly great, but memorable because it was creepy: Father Mike's appearance.  That was freaky to see that priest approaching them singing "tura lura lural."  It was like he was coming to murder them (remember how scaring the kids with that scary story?)!  What was up with that??  Nelson was also kinda cute in his disguise in that scene, but I quickly forgot about that when Father Mike came strolling down the street.  I also liked when Otto walked out of the bus after Bart and Milhouse did, even though the bus was still in motion.

Nothing else was really memorable, but I did wonder why Homer claimed that he bought Marge's necklace with some of his sperm bank money.  I remember clearly that Marge said that the necklace was a family heirloom and she had a drawer full of them in one episode.  So I was a little bothered by that. 

Glad that the unspeakable didn't happen in this episode.  That really would have been the kiss of death for this show!  I don't even like too much that they led us to believe it could have happened in the first place.  At this stage of The Simpsons, they can't afford to be using such horrible ideas.

The Simpsons Redo The Big Apple

The Simpsons, S024E01

To start off their 24th season, the Simpsons returned to New York City so that Bart could find Mary.  He was determined to find at least one of his ex-loves who still liked him after getting to know him.  Lisa and Marge also tried to see a play in the city, but eventually had to settle with doing a play themselves.

Well, I didn't like much about this episode, especially since it was sort of a repeat story in a way.  I mean, we already had a story with Mary not too long ago, while the Simpsons going to New York isn't that exciting (although, we have to give them a little slack with that because they've traveled a ton of places already).  They did have the opportunity to do the town a new justice, but it fell flat with few jokes that made it seem like they couldn't have just done the same thing anywhere else.  It was nice to see a story about Bart that wasn't about his mischief but him wanting to find acceptance instead, but that aspect wasn't enough to save the story for me.  And the side story where Marge and Lisa were searching to watch a play didn't do much for me either.

Despite my complaints, there were a few moments that I liked.  In particular, I enjoyed when Homer was explaining to Bart about how drunk dialing allows one to express feeling,s and he later drunk dialed him.  Later, when Bart is revisiting his past girlfriends and such, that wasn't entirely unfunny either.  I forget the girl's name, but I liked the part where he saw the black-haired girl who sends Bart mixed signals.  She might be one of my favorites even though she was quite bipolar in how she would treat Bart from second to second.  I also was a little tickled by Homer's recollection of what happened the last time he went to New York, and it showed him in some jazz bar or something playing a xylophone.  It was referencing something I didn't get, but I just like how it went totally against what I thought Homer would picture.

Besides these moments, my favorite was when Homer and some random people from the subway were in the cab and the driver told them:

Anything you leave in the cab, you'll never see again.

and Homer was trying to leave Bart in there was he was still sleeping.  I expected him to do this, but it was still funny that he was sneaking out of the cab before Bart woke up and saw him.  Wish there were more jokes like that.

Finally, I also think that Homer helped me enjoy the episode a little better when he talking to Bart after he arrived at Mary's apartment but she wasn't home:

You've learned a very valuable life lesson, boy.  Which is that love doesn't exist except briefly between a man and woman before marriage.  After that it's just hanging out with someone who kinda hates you but you can't get it together to leave .

As far as Bart's romance with Mary, I found it surprisingly very boring.  I'm not sure why, but it might have to do with the fact that Mary just so easily accepted Bart for who he was.  I dunno.  I guess I didn't feel their connection.  Nor was I thrilled or amused that Zoey Deschanel was a guest actress.  Her song, too, was terrible.  I long for the days where I loved the songs on this show.  But I gotta accept that it's a new era of this show.

I'd say this premiere was a little of a let down.  Since I watched it instead of Once Upon A Time (which I was thoroughly looking forward to), I feel like it was a mistake.  However, I'm just so used to spending Sunday nights watching the FOX cartoon lineup that it just seems wrong not to tune in.  However, if this is an indication of what season 24 is going to be like, I might have to catch up on this show the following day instead.  Next time they are showing Treehouse of Horrors already.  I'm thoroughly surprised, considering that sometimes we don't get to see it until November!  The previews don't look that promising, but I'll still hope they manage to have a decent Halloween special this year.

Lisa Denounces Gaga

The Simpsons, S023E22

Lisa was feeling bad for herself after both receiving an award for being the least popular and being exposed as promoting herself on a school message board.  Lady Gaga, traveling on her outlandish train, felt the presence of Lisa's low self-esteem and stopped into Springfield to cheer her up and the rest of the town.  After many failures to cheer up Lisa, Gaga herself adopted an uncharacteristic defeated attitude when Lisa exploded all of her frustrations upon her.  However, it turned out that was just what Lisa needed to bring herself out a dark and sad place.

For the season finale, I suppose they couldn't have gone bigger with a guest star other than Lady Gaga.  I'm not much of a fan of hers, but I don't think this episode was too cheesy.  In fact, I liked the way they poked fun of all of her outrageous outfits and flashy performances.  I think my favorite Gaga outfit was the one she had made out of meat where Homer kept roasting and eating it right off her.  If she had let him keep eating, it probably would have ended up being the fastest time Homer ever undressed a woman.

Another thing I just liked about Gaga in this episode was that she kept trying to promote positivity.  Yes, she was pushy despite that Lisa wasn't interested in her help, but I liked her style.  She could have been very vain and all flash and no substance, but she really wanted to see Lisa smile again and was truly hurt when Lisa exploded on her like she was the worst thing to come to town since Mr. Burns.  So I was little happy to see Lisa and Gaga make up and sing a song together (even though I didn't like the song).  Although, when Gaga was sad she was crying little diamonds, which was funny and sort of random.  That was a nice touch to add to the idea of her extreme glamor.

There were a lot of other little things that I enjoyed.  One was when a piece of glitter from Gaga's first little show in town landed on Mr. Burns' head and made him fall off his feet.  Another was when Skinner told Lisa to go along with her mean-spirited award in order to make things easier for herself.  Instead, the kids laughed at her and Skinner admitted that he doesn't know much about children.  The irony in that joke was not lost upon me.  But my favorite joke was probably when Moe was chasing after Gaga's train when she was attempting to leave town, asking her to wait:

[Moe] Can you help me with my self esteem?

[Gaga] I'm not that good.

Poor Moe.  Even the magical-like Gaga can't turn him into something that could remotely resemble a human.  But I loved that she didn't even need a moment to think about it.  Even someone who hasn't know Moe for more than a second can tell he's a hopeless case.

Finally, I think it was interesting that Homer was singing his own version of "Poker Face."  It wasn't hilarious, but I did like him putting "dohs" into the song to replaces "ohs."  I'm glad they saved that until the end when most people had probably stopped paying attention.  It wasn't a strong enough song to be included in the actual episode, so that was a smart move.  But I would have liked to see Homer dancing or something to the song.  That might have been good.

Overall, I don't think this was a bad finale with such a huge guest star.  I doubt that it was good enough to draw in fans that have been lost over the last decade or so, but I'm sure it made some people interested in how Lady Gaga would fare in Simpsons world.  I think she didn't do a horrible job and obviously had fun with it.  It was definitely a lot more funnier than I anticipated, and I had very low anticipations about a story about Lisa and Gaga.  This season wasn't brilliant, but it wasn't a complete failure, much like this episode.  So I think this was a good episode to end with.  It reflects the general tone of the 21 others.

The New Mrs. Flanders

The Simpsons, S023E21

Edna was revealed to be Ned's wife after he got injured during a passion play.  Marge and Homer threw them a party, where the tension surrounding their differing parenting styles came to a boiling point.  Ned remained angry that someone else was shaping his boys' futures until he saw that Homer and Marge still hadn't agreed upon how to raise their children over the past 10 years.  Ned went to a school assembly and made up with Edna in front of all the children and teachers.

I can't believe that Homer managed to play a decent Jesus.  Of all the years he's spent saying as many sacrilegious things as he could, you would think that Homer might burst into flames if he tried to portray someone so unlike himself (he did get electrocuted playing Jesus outside of the play).  But he had the audience captivated and even got Ned to get over his jealousy and doubt that Homer would do the role justice.  The worst thing that happened was Homer falling off the crucifix and crushing Ned.  That's amazing for Homer.  It let you know early on that this episode wasn't going to be about one of Homer's misadventures.

Instead, the story was focused on Ned and Edna's secret marriage.  Did not see that coming.  I guess it makes sense that Ned wouldn't keep "leading" Edna on and would seal the deal since they love each other enough.  That's refreshing to skip over that part and jump right into how they are living their lives together.  We 've seen enough weddings on this show that one more was certainly not going to be anything special.  But I will admit it was strange to see Edna sitting at the table with Rod and Tod, which they helped make awkward by referring to her as "Cigarette Mommy" and "Do-Over Mommy."  But soon you could see that Edna was really good with the boys, even though as a teacher she has become quite lackluster (no thanks to Bart Simpsons of the world).  I really liked seeing her go to the parent-teacher conference and not tolerate her new sons going to a school where science wasn't taught.  Still, I have my own doubts about the quality of education they can get at Springfield Elementary.

I give credit to Ned for allowing Edna to take the reigns for even a little while concerning his kids; Marge had tried to influence them once and he resisted her much more (than again, she wasn't his wife).  I'm surprised after his Davey and Goliath style nightmare where his kids were studying comparative religious studies at an east coast university that Ned didn't drive to the school that very day and drag them out. It wasn't until the party where Rod and Tod had fake tattoos and used slang like "chillax" that made Ned explode.  He was totally ignoring the positive changes that Edna had already made on those little weirdos he calls sons.  I was worried that he would just stay stubborn and would just put things back the way they were.  Or worse, I thought their fight might end Ned and Edna's marriage before it began.  Thankfully, Ned got perspective after seeing Homer and Marge argue.  I wouldn't think they would be the best examples of any aspect of marriage (not the part that works anyway), but at least it loosened the stick up Ned's butt and made him apologize.  I just don't know why he had to do it in front of all the kids (nor why all the kids cheered when they were making out in front of them).

For a story that was about a non-Simpson family member, it was pretty good.  It's going to be an adjustment to see Ned and Edna go from just dating to full-on marriage.  It'd be nice if it set up more stories of how Rod and Tod might change into a little more typical kids or how they adapt to the Springfield Elementary society.  I've very interested to see how the two would fare against bullies like Nelson walking about or what sort of friends they might make.  Maybe in the next season we'll get to see such a story.

Fattening Up Nelson? Good Plan

The Simpsons, S23E20

Homer got time off from work after Burns gave him a concussion, but he decided not to tell his family because they were all too uninterested in his stories to listen (or just generally mad at him).  He sent the time with his Dr. Cain, a movie character that he envisioned from the blow to his head.  With Cain's help, Homer learned how to be a better husband, but attracted the attention of a jealous husband with a gun.  The husband came after Homer again when he was romancing Marge on a date, but he was able to charm himself out of death with one of the techniques that Cain taught him.  Bart tried to get rid of Nelson's bullying by fattening him up with Krusty Burger food.  However, thanks to Lisa complaining to Krusty, Nelson was trained into an even more powerful bully than before.

Homer's story was mostly strange than it was funny.  I liked that he was hanging out with a movie character voiced by Bryan Cranston, but it was weird that a hallucination was giving him helpful advice (and being kind of creepy when he was watching Homer make out with Marge).  Before Homer started listening to an invisible man, I liked when he and Mr. Burns were discussing Homer's compensation for the concussion Burns had caused: 

[Burns] Fine.  8 weeks off with pay. 

[Homer screams]  

[Burns] That's a good thing.

[Homer] But you said it so mean.

Since that was about the only amusing thing in that story, I liked Bart's story slightly more.  My favorite line from it was when Bart was complaining to Milhouse about Nelson:

[Milhouse] My mom says bully only bully cuz they're scared. 

[Nelson] Your mom's next!

 I just didn't expect Nelson to be listening  their conversation, nor to go after his "creator" for a comment she had told her son.  Then he actually went to her and insulted her son and poured out her hair dye.

What I liked most about Bart's story was that he got the idea to fatten up Nelson from a Supersize Me spoof documentary that he saw in class.  That documentary was nothing too amazing except the part at the end where Decland had to have nuggets IV-ed into his arm to survive.  That was really gross!  But I applaud Bart for actually learning during class and coming up with a cruel, but effective plan to get Nelson out of his hair.  I mean, if you think about it, Bart was doing a nice thing for Nelson, who probably never uses the money he steals for food anyway.  If Nelson had just used the free coupons he had been given more sparingly, he could have eaten free food for a long time.  Instead, I'm sure that he probably blew through those coupons in like a week or two.  It's a sick plan to endanger someone's health like that, but Nelson, too, endangers children's health (though not to such a crippling degree).  I kind of wish that Lisa hadn't intervened because Bart's plan was working so well for everyone and in the end they all had to be pummeled by a ripped Nelson.  Good job, Lisa.  I don't think there was much of a lesson there at all, except that learning at school can be dangerous if you're evil enough.

Not one of the best ones this season, but not too bad for one that had a guest star.  Seeing Homer reinvent himself to make Marge a happier wife is nothing they haven't done a million times, so it wasn't the most inspired story, but I think that Bart's was a little more creative and enjoyable.  I just wish that there had been a more satisfying ending.  But at this stage of this show, you can't expect the writers to have deliver the complete package like viewers were accustomed to back in the day.

Stranded On The Treadmill

The Simpsons, S23E18

Homer got obsessed with a Lost-parody show called "Stranded" that he started watching on his treadmill.  Marge, after putting up with his obsession for long enough, ruined the show for him by explaining all the mysteries he had yet to figure out.  She apologized for it later by decorating their room in an deserted island-like fashion.  Bart had to watch over Jimbo's girlfriend and found himself cheating with her behind his bully's back.  He had to pay the price for that with Jimbo, but his girlfriend did take Bart's advice that she could do better than Jimbo.

I guess that Springfield is supposed to be in Oregon, according to the opening credits.  Is anyone still even worrying about that insignificant matter nowadays?  I always thought it was nice that they just denied that Springfield was anywhere by referring to impossible geographical details throughout the show.  It was a long-running joke that I enjoyed.  I don't like too much that they felt it was necessary to point that out (if they were being serious, anyway).  Any fan could easily look up where the creator grew up and figure out the state that inspired Springfield.  I feel like this is another ploy to get viewers (I'm sure that didn't work if it was).

It's funny that Homer was using his treadmill so much, but only to watch streaming videos.  I could totally see me doing that if I could afford a fancy treadmill like that with internet capabilities and a HD screen.  What was even funnier was that he set up a lawn chair on the sides so that he could just sit and watch (is it impossible to watch the screen without the belt moving?).  It's too bad he's creative with his laziness because with a TV on a piece of exercise equipment that might have been the best way to get Homer to exercise for more than a few seconds.

I also liked how they made fun of Lost.  I could identify with Homer's determination to figure out what it was all about and how ridiculously mysterious the show was (and not being too wowed by the final answers).  I wouldn't have gone as far to have a discussion group or a notebook of clues, but I also didn't watch the show until a few years after it had been completed, so I had to fight to remain ignorant of any spoilers others could provide me.  It would have been nice to have the air horn Homer had used on his friends.

I thought Bart's story wasn't much to talk about except the part where he freaked out after seeing Shanna's boobs.  I liked that his first comment was that they looked exactly like Homer's.  That's disgusting in such a humorous way.  Then at dinner, everything kept reminding him of breasts, which was a nice touch.  I thought that would keep him away from the girl permanently, but Bart kept seeing her until Jimbo found out.  Sometimes it's hard to remember that Bart is only 10 years old.  Since he does so many terrible things, I would just assume that not much could shock him.  Then again, Bart has shown several times that he has no idea how sex actually works (except in that one episode).  Still, it's easy to forget, which makes those kind of jokes with Bart work.

The ending, where Bart was finally caught by Jimbo, didn't have the consequences that I would have thought.  Jimbo was seen holding Bart upside down, but it really seemed like he got off pretty lightly.  I didn't think that Lisa or Shanna explained well enough to get Bart off the hook, so I don't know why Bart wasn't more brutally punished for his betrayal.  But then again, I wasn't that interested in the story to begin with, so I didn't really care what happened to Bart by then.

I actually liked Homer's story well enough that I liked the episode overall.  It's nice to see that as technology evolves to make it easier for people to exercise, Homer evolves his laziness just as well.  And I'm sure there are many people who might even pretend to go to the gym to work out, but spend more time watching movies on the machines more than anything else.  Mostly, I liked that they made fun of Lost in a way that I'm sure many fans of that show could relate to.  I'm always up for a good parody.

Into The Dreams Of Homer

The Simpsons, S23E16

I wasn't sure where this story was going this time at first.  I had heard last week that they were going to do a sort of Inception spoof, but I didn't remember that until well after Dr. Fink had sent the family into Homer's dreams.  I don't think this was the best parody of that movie, but for this show at its current state, it was a fair try.

At the beginning, Homer gets everyone to steal some supplies after Smithers leaves the door slightly open.  I like that he encourages his co-workers to take things that they could easily afford themselves.  I can relate to that because I've taken my share of computer paper, pens, and folders from my office.  I have no idea why it's so tempting to take something you really could buy yourself and at a better quality.

I thought it was kinda gross that Homer was wetting the bed out of some guilt, which even from the beginning I didn't think that it was due to him throwing his friends under the bus for the office supply theft, but I didn't think it would be tied to Bart and Homer fishing on his "earned" day off.  While Homer was chastising his brain for not controlling his bladder better, he reveals that he enjoys watching Chloe and Lamar.  So even Homer has hopped on the Kardashian bandwagon.  Wow.

Besides the heart pinata inside of the Homer pinata, my favorite thing about Homer throwing a "Pardon Me" party for his friends to appease karma was that it didn't solve his bed-wetting problem.  In the words of Homer:

I did the right thing for nothing!

Ah, Homer.  He's always good for quotes like that.  Basically never admitting that the right thing is good within itself.  I miss these kinds of Homer lines that I would be nodding my head to back at my house.

 The best things about them going into the dream world were when Frink said that they would die if they died in the dream because he neglected to update Adobe Acrobat (God, I don't know why I refuse to update it until it gets in the way of me doing something) and that one dream that sent them back to early 90s-style Simpsons.  They didn't go as fantastical as they could have with the dreams (skiing, Shakespearean-like theater, food land), but I appreciate a shout out to the classic episodes of this show.  They weren't the best, but the contrast between their initial character (and voice) design is so interesting.

Mona Simpson (I guess I forgot Glenn Close was guest-starring) made an appearance this time, but since it was technically a dream, I won't be too outraged that she was back for a third time.  The first time she appeared was such a beautifully sweet episode that I'm annoyed whenever they cheapen that episode with other ones with Homer's mom coming back.  I sort of liked that they connected Homer peeing the bed with his guilt about his parents splitting up.  It wasn't an intensely brilliant explanation, but it worked fine enough.

After the episode ended, I heard Glenn Close and I guess Dan Castellaneta singing a song at the end.  That was a bit nice, though I wonder if many fans were still watching at that point.  Their guest star didn't have much screen time (which I didn't mind because they really need to stop with the "stars"), so I guess they gave her a little song so her time wasn't wasted?

I think I can put this episode in the decent pile for this season.  I'm not going to expect anything stellar, so if I can enjoy a Homer quote and see a parody that references something I know or have seen, I think it can be considered "good."  Next time, let's see if they can keep this trend going and not backtrack to their usual pattern of crap this season.

From Vandal To Artist

The Simpsons, S23E15

This was mainly a Bart-centered episode with a small story about Apu and a rival store.  Bart decides to graffiti Homer's image around town to get back at him for throwing him into a rabbit cage.  This wasn't nearly as bad as some of the other things he's done to Bart, so I don't really know why Bart was so outraged.  And in fact, Bart grew to like the cage.  I found the premise to be pretty weak, but this is the 23rd season, so what can you expect?

I thought this episode would be free of guest stars, but Shepard Fairey voiced himself (who later revealed to be  an undercover cop).  I suppose that's not too bad because I don't feel like he's such a celebrity that it will bring in a lot of viewers simply to hear him.  This episode was a sort of spoof of the documentary I had seen about a month ago, Exit Through the Gift Shop.  It not only featured Fairey, but other well-known street artists such as Banksy.  The Simpsons' take on graffiti wasn't particularly interesting, but it's interesting that someone like Fairey did a voice on this cartoon show.  If this episode does anything, I hope that it encourages people to watch that documentary because it's endlessly more interesting than what I saw on Sunday night.

Usually there is a side-story in each episode, but this one just seemed so unnecessary.  Sure the Kwik-E Mart is the go-to store in Springfield, but it's not the only place to buy food, so I wasn't buying Apu's pressure to take "Swapper Jack's" store down.  It was resolved so easily with the store selling monkey meat.  Really?  I would have been slightly more impressed if Apu started working there.  I know this show is known for its simple solutions to problems, but they might as well said a wizard came in and spirited the store away.

Speaking of simple solutions, Homer offers Wiggum the option of caging Bart again.  I didn't mind that too much, as it sort of brought things full circle.  Bart is caged, he rebels because of this cage, rebellion gets him put into cage again.  Not terribly exciting, but it works for this show at its present state.

I'm only surprised that the side-story didn't turn out to be about Marge being shunned by Paula Paul's fans or something of the like.  Her disappointment was only there to fuel Homer's rage so that he could throw Bart into a cage.  That's a bit disappointing.  I'm sure it could have led to a far better story than Apu robbing a store that Snake was working at.  The irony was lukewarm.

I'll give this show credit for possibly inspiring some people to google about Fairey and other street artists, but it wasn't very funny or original.  I'd really like to see them  produce an episode that makes me wonder if I'll care if there is a 24th season or not.  Right now, I'm almost hoping they won't before they come up with even worse stories.

500th Episode, Negative 500 Laughs

The Simpsons, S23E14

Now The Simpsons has made it to their 500th episode.  Wow, how times flies by.  That is an impressive milestone when you consider that there probably hasn't been a fabulous episode for about ten or so years (not consistently anyway).  This week's episode fell into that category, but it wasn't entirely terrible.

I enjoyed watching some of the old couch gags.  I didn't remember most of them, actually.  I suppose that is because I usually don't pay much attention until the episode truly starts.  A fairly good line at the beginning of the episode is when Homer tells Lisa to pick up a book:

[Lisa] I pick up books like you pick up beer!
[Homer] Then you have a serious reading problem.

After they get bored sitting around doing a disaster drill, the family decides to go out into town while everyone else is doing the drill.  They expect to find the town empty, but they see that everyone is gathered at a town meeting to discuss Springfield's most troublesome family, the Simpsons.  This mildly reminds me of The Simpsons Movie where the whole town turned against them, figuring that it's a bigger disadvantage to have them in town than not.  However, this time, we get to hear more about why each of them are a menace.  Bart and Homer are no-brainers; they destroy things on a regular basis with their antics.  But Lisa is seen as an eyesore for her meddlesome environmental endeavors, and Maggie is just seen as a devil baby of some sorts:

[Cookie] Even baby never cry!

[Maggie makes a throat cutting motion]

[Cookie] What baby does that? 

Even Marge isn't safe from being banned, despite her earnest plea for the town to not see her family as monsters.   Thanks to her tendency to present her family "in a more forgiving light," she is deemed the worst Simpson of all.  Nice.

They end up going to the "Outlands" after a resident threatens them with a gun and invites them.  I liked that they redid the opening scene in a more country, off the grid-like fashion.  Somehow this reminded me of The Riches, but I'm not sure if that was my imagination or something that the writers intended the viewers to think about.  Their lives there were less refined and almost completely boring.  What I liked most of their new lives was when Homer was tired of watching "fox" and there was an actual fox on a rock in front of them.  Maggie's little mohawk and aggressive actions were cute, though.  And I did enjoy when their neighbor (whose name escapes me) tells Homer that he should get out less.

Homer and Marge sneak back into Springfield after Marge laments her lost home.  They do this dressed as Mr. Burns and Smithers, and I was surprised that Homer didn't mess it up by forgetting Mr. Burn's catchphrase of "Excellent."  I guess they've already done that before, where Homer mistakenly thinks his phrase is "Exactly."  I love that episode, by the way. 

Since Homer doesn't mess it up, the two enjoy sneaking around town all the way back to their old house, where they are cornered by the majority of the town (if not the whole town).  This development is predictable and easily turns sentimental after Marge, with little convincing, tells them that they are the jerks, and she and Homer are returning to their real, better home.  The only thing that was notable about this scene was when the Mayor admits they are jerks, and Wiggum pulls out a spray of "Jerk Off," which he offers to spray on him.  Gross.  But mildly funny.

In the end, the whole town moves to the Outlands, wanting to escape from the choke hold of Springfield.  This was an easy solution to their problem and not very entertaining.  I only slightly liked that Moe's establishment in the Outlands was "Moe's Cavern," which was set up in a cave.  Everyone makes the move there, except Skinner who hasn't gotten the memo.  Bart later comes to get him, but I didn't expect him to actually carry him all the way.  He intentionally makes Skinner slam into things on the way, but I thought he might just drop his archenemy.  I guess that's just as good.

At the end, the show asks that we viewers go out and get some fresh air before they go on the internet to say how much the episode sucked.  That was a nice touch and makes me think that the staff realize how bad the show has gotten.  I'm wondering if they are under some pressure or obligation to keep the show on the air.  Well, if they keep losing viewers with these lackluster stories, they won't be able to afford to keep it on.  And they do have Family Guy and such, but I don't think that it can really fill the void The Simpsons will leave on FOX Sunday nights.  However, FG is popular, so you never know.  It could be celebrating its 500th episode one day.

I appreciate The Simpsons passing the test of time, but the 500th episode is not one I'm excited to see again.  I'm only happy there weren't too many guest stars in this episode.  They could have made a much bigger to-do about this milestone, but they didn't.  However, I'd like them to do stories that are a little more original and bring more laughs.

I Would Have Preferred A Rerun Of The "Love Day" Episode

Last night's The Simpsons was one of the better episodes from their 23th season.  Frankly, I'm getting sick of all the guest stars they've had recently.  That to me is a good sign that they are grasping at straws to keep the show on.  I've been a fan of this show since I was a child, and I don't really want to have to stop watching.  The Simpson family is almost like one of my own, and it's hard to imagine not seeing them with new adventures.  But come on...  Are writers really this bad nowadays or is it just impossible to write any more interesting stories for something that has done about everything you can over the 20 years?

They say this is 499th episode.  They have a big-to-do moment in the couch montage before Lisa reveals this fact to them, and Moe lets them know that FOX isn't going to celebrate it again.  Ha.

Lisa falls in love with a boy who writes in this Valentine's episode.  The boy is voiced by Michael Cera, who is an actor I enjoy, but I'm still wary of these tactics to get viewers to watch simply with semi-famous celebrities.  Their story is entertaining for a little bit, as Lisa rarely finds a boy that she can connect with, but it ultimately doesn't work out.  She was just swept away by the fantasy the boy was throwing at her and didn't see the reality of a relationship with a troubled writer.  Lisa's fascination caused a little rift between Marge and she, but they barely touched upon it.  I mean, Marge could have gone much further with jealousy that her daughter was growing apart from her, but they didn't.  She was a little disappointed, but nothing significant.  Weak.

Bart and Milhouse became myth-busters.  That was a little funny.  It worked to distract you from Lisa's lukewarm romance that we knew wouldn't last.  I liked that the two watched TV at a gas station to defy Marge telling them not to watch TV on the TV, computer, or smartphone.  They immediately went to find out if using cellphones at gas stations was dangerous, causing a sizable explosion.  That got a little chuckle from me.  But most of their myths were boring with subdued consequences.

My favorite thing about the episode was when Homer and Bart were hanging out together for Valentine's Day.  They may be at each other's worst enemies most of the time, but they are a darling son and father couple.  Homer's pretty lucky that he had a dumb son that can enjoy that reckless and brainless activities he enjoys himself.

This episode pales in comparison to episodes from about 10 or more years ago, but it was all right for a current season.  The best episode this season by far was the one with their future selves (The Simpsons are really good at stories with the future, which is probably why Futurama is so good).  Next episode, we need more Homer and less guest stars.  We get it--you don't know what you're doing writers, but you need to get to work and think outside of the box.