Bitch Would Have Gotten A Quilt Up Her Ass

Parks and Recreation, S05E06

Leslie and Ben held an engagement party and tried to mend fences with Ben's hateful parents.  Chris was distraught after hearing the beautiful speech Ann gave at the party.  Tom had to prepare for a presentation for his new business to show to Ron.

I had a lot of good laughs from this episode, which I will discuss shortly.  First, I just gotta say how much I hated Ulani.  No question that Ben has horrible parents, but that little bitch was too rude for words.  Her ass wasn't even invited, yet Leslie welcomed her to the party with open arms.  She didn't have a sliver of gratitude and dared to question why she didn't have a square on the unity quilt.  Bitch, please!  Leslie is better than me because I would have handed her a big serving of attitude.  She had me boiling when she went on further to say that it was mean that Leslie hadn't made her a real square, when Leslie had graciously tried to squeeze her in there at the last moment.  That bitch ain't even family yet!  I don't care if she's carrying Ben's sibling in her belly--she needed to be slapped.  I'm so glad we will not see her again until the wedding, I hope.  She's one of my least favorite people that have popped up on this show.

Anyway, onto all of the great laughs I had.  My favorite part was after Ann gave her speech at the party and everyone pitched in to warn Ben:

[Ann] Ben, don’t you dare hurt her.
[Laughter]
[Ben] I won’t.[Andy] Don’t laugh.  She means it.
[Ben] Okay, I-I won’t.
[Ron] Seriously, son, don’t hurt her.
[Ben] Okay, I’m not planning on hurting her.
[Jerry] You better not be.
[Ben] I’m not!
[Donna] Hey, Ben, you best watch yourself.
[Ben] Why would any of you think I would hurt Leslie?

 I love when they all team up to show love for Leslie!  And anytime Ben can be made nervous, it's all the better.  I think Andy's addition was the best because you know it's no joke when he's being serious.  Such a great scene.

Chris was also being pretty funny in the episode.  I liked when he was hugging Leslie and Ben at the beginning because Ben's face was so uncomfortable at that time!  And Ben's expression was just as funny when Andy hugged them and Chris joined in a little later.  But Chris' best moments were when he was moping around at the party.  Rob Lowe is so good at making me sympathetic but also chuckling at the same time.  I liked his reaction when he reached the end of the tissues:

There’s no more tissue--everything ends.

With him crying over that, I wanted to hug him, while laughing into his shoulder.  Poor Chris and his overly emotional self.  He was funny, too, when eating shrimp:

[Chris] Wow, that’s amazing.[Ann]  See? There you go.[Chris]  This one’s not as good.

A grown man getting depressed over shrimp not being that good just tickles me.  It also reminds me of that great moment when Ron and Stephen Wyatt eyed each other when both approached the last piece of shrimp at the same time.  Loved it.

What I also loved concerning Ron was that he decided to give Tom a chance without even listening to his pitch.  Tom had proven himself by cutting his business ties with Jean-Ralphio and that was enough.  I just liked Ron's general contempt for J-R in the first place.  Tom couldn't have done more to impress him if he had cut his own lumber and built a table out of it.  Thanks to Ron, we'll get to see how "Rent-A-Swag" will fare as a business.  It couldn't be any worse than Entertainment 720 (which was a hilariously money-down-the-drain failure).

 This episode only could have been made better if Leslie had shoved Ulani's makeshift square down her throat the second time she dared complain about it.  Can't take such ridiculous bitches, but the PAR crew is so hilarious that her existence couldn't bring down the overall quality of the episode.  Ron didn't really say anything great in this episode, but he was great in the way he decided to take stake in Tom's future.  And perhaps there's a happy future for Chris soon.  I want to hope for that, but I also get a kick out of his overly dramatic misery as well.  Whether sad or happy, gotta love Chris!

Working Irony

Bob's Burgers, S03E03

Bob realized that his childhood was terrible because he was always working and fired his kids to help them not have the same experience.  Bob hired Mickey, fresh out of jail, to replace them.  The kids failed at having summer fun and got a job unknowingly at a weed farm.

I was surprised that I recognized Bill Hader's voice in this episode, but failed to notice Nick Offerman's.  I'm so used to him talking in that stiff Ron Swanson voice that any other inflection he uses totally throws me off!  I doubt I would have noticed Megan Mullally (although I wondered about her character because she obviously had a good singing voice), but I'm disappointed I didn't pick up on Nick at all.  But still, it was nice to have these guys on the show.  Hader just sounds like someone up to something sketchy so he's a perfect fit for Mickey (who I don't remember if he was actually in earlier episodes).

I wasn't that surprised that Bob didn't have a great childhood.  He does seem a little stiff, but it might explain why he sometimes has some childlike tendencies from time to time (like how he got obsessed with that video game, even if that was partially out of spite).  He never really got time to be a kid, which was evident with his soap dog and spatula plane.   But I thought it was sweet of him to worry about his own kids being warped and giving the opportunity to have fun during their summer.

It's ironic in a good funny way that Louise and the others could not for the life of them figure out how to have fun without working in their dad's restaurant.  Bob thought he was rewarding them, but in fact, they were tortured by the pressure of having fun.  I mean, when they can't even jump rope without an accident, they are doomed.  It's really strange to me because they seem like they could find fun in the most bizarre ways without having being told to do so.  So I was shocked that they stumbled.  But it doesn't surprise me they were able to find an illegal job to replace their other job in no time.  I have to keep reminding myself they are little kids and wouldn't catch on that they were drug mules.  That twist also worked for me.

I also liked when Bob was missing his kids being around the restaurant.  He always seems to be stressed out by their shenanigans, but in reality he really depends on them in his business for support and entertainment.  I liked that he gave Louise credit for coming up with the better names for the burgers, even if they pushed the envelope.  It was nice to see that firing his kids wasn't just hard on them, but Bob as well.

This was a pretty good episode.  I wish it were longer, though.  I would have loved to see more of their drug deliveries before they got busted.  Or see what happened to the kids after the DEA busted the weed farm.  I enjoyed the guest stars, even if I didn't notice who they were at first.  I feel like this story almost made me understand why this show is kinda popular.

Leslie's Election Brings Change (Or Not)

Parks and Recreation, S04E22

Leslie was nervous about the outcome of the election, but she had her friends and Ben there for support.  The initial tally said that she had lost, but a recount showed that Leslie was the real winner.  Ben got offered a job in Washington by Jennifer, but wasn't sure if he wanted to accept it if it meant being apart from Leslie.  April was afraid that she would be fired because she lost some important files, so Andy was helping her think about some dream jobs for both of them.  Chris had one more romp with Jennifer before she left town, and Tom proclaimed that his dream predicted that he and Ann would get back together.

I liked that this episode marked a lot of change in everyone's lives, not just Leslie's.  She won the election, but I feel like it won't change Leslie that much.  She's been dying to make Pawnee a better place since day one, so her win is only going to give her more power to do so.  But it was nice to see Leslie grow from just a Parks and Recreation employee to someone with power to make some major decisions in the city.  But it wasn't just Leslie that was going somewhere, but also Ben.  I never thought that his brilliant campaigning would impress Jennifer enough that she would want to offer him a job.  As much as I like Leslie and Ben together, I'm glad that she told him that she'd be selfish to not let him grab the opportunity.  After all, he had worked so hard to make her dreams come true, so it was about time she let him have some of his own (a great step up from being mocked as a horrible, teenage mayor).  I can't imagine Ben not around anymore, so that's a change that I will have to get used to.

Another thing that was interesting concerning change was Ron's proclamation that he's a man of consistency, but he approves of Ben and Leslie's relationship:

Well, I've never been one for meeting new people, or doing new things.  Or eating new types of food.  Or traveling outside of southern Indiana.  I've had the same haircut since 1978, and I've driven the same car since 1991. I've used the same wooden comb for three decades. I have one bowl. I still get my milk delivered by horse. But you and Leslie like to hold hands, and jump off of cliffs together, into the great unknown. You two have a good relationship. I don't personally know what that's like, but, I'm given to understand it means you're gonna land on your feet.

He's ridiculously stuck in his ways.  I thought after that speech of his that him taking the job to work with Chris would be a great contradiction, but Ron turned it down.  I have to admit I couldn't imagine him not sitting in his office, ignoring as many people as he could.  Just wouldn't be right.  I also liked how even Chris wasn't about to have someone like Jean Ralphio work for him instead.  Chris is pretty easy going, but I guess there are some people annoying enough that he can't put a positive spin on them.

 I'm glad that things didn't have to change for April, and she wasn't in danger of being fired.  I did like Andy's enthusiasm in brainstorming new occupations.  I noticed, just like April, that the jobs he listed were all in law enforcement, but I still didn't think about him becoming a cop.  I'd be scared with someone like Andy carrying a gun all the time.  It was cute, though, when Donna came in and got all the files back in a matter of seconds and April hugged her.  Then Andy joined in and it was just a big ball of love.  Good God, if only every office situation in real life could be as loving as this one.

It was emotional to see Leslie give her winning speech about how she owed her victory to her friends and supporters, but I was more touched before she knew she had won and Ron had come to comfort her.  Leslie was thinking that she would let everyone down if she lost, but Ron let her know otherwise:

We did it because we care--about you. You had a dream and we wanted to support your dream. That's what you do when you care about someone. You support 'em - win, lose, or draw.

There's something about these caring words coming out of Ron's mouth that made me so touched that I teared up.  He's the one who tries to hide his love of Leslie the most, but he's in the same boat as the rest of their department.  I really envy the support system that she has--it's something that everyone could use.

 Relieved to see that this season finale has the result that I wished for.  It seems like it's been such a long journey for her to get there, especially after her original campaign team dropped her after the "scandal" with her and Ben.  Leslie beat the odds, and she did it without being super sneaky and sticking to her beliefs.  This ending makes me really proud of her and love the employees of the P&R department even more.  If NBC were foolish enough to end the series right there, I would be sending them as many hate letters as I could.  I'm so excited to see what Leslie will do as a councilwoman next year! As one of my favorites, I'm missing this show already!

Ron Swanson Gets Some...And Some Steak Too

Parks and Recreation, S04E18

Leslie had an awful interview with an obnoxious show host who trashed Pawnee, and Andy celebrated his passing grade from his first college course with steak.  Also, Donna was fascinated with Jerry's super focus with stuffing the envelopes with campaign flyers (but I won''t get into that).  I liked the Leslie story better than previous ones, but it still wasn't as good as the one that involved Andy.  You can't top a story that has Ron Swanson at the heart of it.

This week, Ron was doing one of the things he does best--eat meat.  Not only does he eat like 3 steaks, but Andy's professor is charmed by him, despite that Chris joins their little celebration and seems to be having a connection with the woman.  There were quite a few good lines at the table.  One was when April spots Chris at the restaurant by himself:

[April] Is that Chris?
[Andy] It really looks like him.  But there's no way to know for sure.  We should ask him tomorrow.

Another was when Ron probably had the conversation that made the professor fall for him:

My life has been shaped by powerful women.  My father once told my mother that woman was made from the rib of Adam, and my mom broke his jaw.

 I felt bad for Chris when the professor shot him down for a few seconds before she went after Ron.  There was no time to think about his feelings when Ron so casually and easily accepted her invitation to hookup.  However, after Ron comes in the next day so happy that he is making jokes like "Donuts.  Go nuts," and Chris says that he is going to try to win over the professor, my heart went out to Chris again.  It was cute and unexpected that Andy convinced Ron to be upfront with Chris with the same words Ron had lectured Andy with earlier.  The disappointment that Chris expressed was overshadowed by the hilarious hug Ron had to endure for being honest.

The only thing I really wanted to mention about the Leslie story was how it was nice that Ann and Tom were getting along.  Even though they seemed to be breaking up more than they were staying together, it was cute that Tom was keeping track of the time they were officially a couple.  Tom ruined it at the end with the 48-hour anniversary gift of 48 condoms.  Damnit, Tom.

It's also sweet that people of Pawnee love Leslie so much.  Or either they hate Buddy Wood enough to purposely throw his bag away.  Either way, things worked out nicely for her.  Maybe she won't win the race, but she surely can't say that her relationship with Pawnee is a one-way street.

I wonder if Professor Linda was a one-time character or if she will stay on to be Ron's girlfriend for a while.  Hopefully that won't be painfully for Chris to see, and he'll find someone else.  He's too convincing as a lonely person, so it is kind of breaking my heart to see him like that.  It's funny, for sure, but it also so sad.  I'd also like to see a good Ben and Leslie story next time like the bowling one.  As much as Ron cracks me up, I'm starting to miss my dose of Leslie-brand laughter too.

Ron Tries To Make Ann The New Leslie

Parks and Recreation, S04E17

There was bad news for both Campaign Leslie and the Parks and Recreation department yesterday.  Leslie and Ben were getting their asses served by a slick, new campaign manager Bobby Newport had hired, while the P&R department had to get a project successfully done without Leslie's power sustaining them.  The latter was the better of the two because, of course, it involved the characters who make me laugh the most.  So I'll skip any comments about Leslie's current bump in the road to being on city council.

We all know Ron, so we know he is not going to do work, but also doesn't want to have Leslie replaced.  In fact, he relates this problem to his childhood where he had to choose one of his pet calves to kill on his sixth birthday.  The conclusion to this problem is evidence why I love Ron Swanson stories:

 I couldn't choose, so I slaughtered both of them.  ...And they were delicious.

Unfortunately for Ron, Chris had other plans about replacing Leslie, so Ron had to get the "dream team" together, led by Ann.  Ann is a pretty poor leader and their brainstorming to figure out how to stop the nasty citizens of Pawnee from french kissing the water fountains turned into a full on water balloon fight.  Before all this craziness happened, I loved when Ron went to Ann to propose she take up the new project:

[Ron] Hello, Ann Perkins.
[April] This is the first time you've said my entire name correctly.
[Ron] Nonsense.  We're close friends.

I knew Leslie's absence was going to deliver in the Ron department!  The best of all was when Ann appeared to have solved the water fountain issue, and Ron sat her down to almost suggest she become the mini-Leslie.  When Ann tells him that it was all April and she was the girl for the job, Ron ends their conversation by simply picking up a book.  He only reads for a few seconds in silence before Ann questions him:

[April] Should I go?
[Ron] Are you still here?  Yes.

I can learn a lot from Ron.  It would be my dream to do that to someone but have them act without me needing to tell them to go.  I tip my hat again to the brilliance of Ron Swanson.

Lastly, I wonder why Donna doesn't get many lines.  She is a clearly funny person.  When Ann asks her for her idea about the water fountain she doesn't even look up to reply:

Do I look like I drink water?

That is probably something I would say word for word to someone.  I'd love to see her a little more involved in the episodes.  That may or may not be related to simply just how her character was designed or to fit Retta's busy schedule.  Regardless, after the "Treat Yourself" thing, I'm sure that there are many others who would gladly watch a Donna-themed episode.

I guess this was an okay episode, but it was mostly carried by Ron.  If he wasn't his usual funny self while dealing with Ann, I wouldn't have enjoyed this episode half as much.  I do miss Leslie's crazy adventures in the office, but that's not going to come back anytime soon.  I do hope that she and Ben figure out a way to turn the tables with their opponent.  And back in the P&D department, I hope that April as the new mini-Leslie brings some new hilarity that only someone who has studied under Ron Swanson can produce.

How You Don't Like 90s R&B??

Parks and Recreation, S04E16

Leslie organizes a Sweet 16 party for Jerry who was born on February 29th to prove that she hasn't overextended herself between her campaign and government work.  Since I knew that Ron was the one who was suggesting that she take a break from work, I assumed that she wouldn't win the fight, and thus wasn't very invested in the story.  What was the most of interest to me was Ann and Tom's relationship.  It looked like the two would be over before they even started, and April was just fine with that.  In another side-story, Chris bonded with Champion and Andy felt a little jealous of how well Chris took care of his dog.  This story was also more entertaining to me than Leslie's quest to prove Ron wrong.

Let's talk about Chris and Andy for a moment.  I'm not the biggest animal person, but I felt like Andy's level of pet care-taking could practically be called animal abuse compared to all the things that Chris did for Champion in one day.  This included grooming and training (which also made Chris fluent in German in regards to all things concerning dogs).  In Andy's defense he is not some kind of overachieving superman, nor has the funds to do all the nice things for his dog he could.  I also don't think that Andy has ever thought about these sorts of thing.  His policy is that you have to let dogs be dogs.  Fair enough.  But I felt so bad that Chris was practically stalking Andy in order to spend some more time with the dog.  He is so obviously lonely.  He also scared the crap out of Andy when he was walking Champion.  Loved that.

Chris spells out his loneliness to all at Jerry's party, and I felt even worse for him.  But I think that he felt compelled to share his despair after hearing Tom announce that he and Ann were still strong as a couple.  He keeps making unhappy looks when Tom is talking about Ann; when is Chris going to do something about it, though??  I'm just waiting for that moment that encourages him to act a little angry.  So far it seems like Chris only has two states: hyper positive or hyper melancholy.  I haven't seen hyper pissed yet.  I really want to see it soon, as much as I like Tom.  Tom might scream like a little girl, which would make me giggle like a little girl.

If I can't get my giggle on, I was happy to see that Chris got his giggles on after Andy decided to lend out Champion to Chris from time to time to help him not feel so alone.  Say whatever you want about Andy but he is such a nice guy.  It's impossible to hate him.

Concerning Tom and Ann's relationship, I'm glad that things are starting off so rocky because it wouldn't make any sense.  We all know they are so completely different, and Tom and Ann start to see that these differences do matter.  Tom had especially funny complaints about Ann, including her disinterest in bluray, her low number of UGG boots, and depreciation of Paul Walker movies.  The best of Tom's "Oh-No-No's" was that Ann lacked a love of 90s R&B music.  Particularly insulting was that she had no idea who Ginuwine was.  I love that Tom believes that this topic is so important.  I can appreciate someone who thinks that "classic" R&B is vital.  I just wondered what kind of music does Ann does like anyway?  The best of Ann's "Oh-No-No's" was by far that Tom refers to himself as the "Brown Gosling."  I hate to say it but I am not a Ryan Gosling fan.  In fact, I don't really know who he is outside of everyone talking about him.  I've seen his picture, but I don't recognize him.  However, I'm not much of a celebrity follower.  I like who I like (like Aziz) and don't have time to worry about the mountain of others in the entertainment business.

I've gotten off topic.  My feelings about Tom and Ann deciding to stay together after April's drunken advice are mixed.  If for nothing else, I like them together so that April can continue to hate both of them while they annoy her.  And once again, I want to see if it will bring about the resurrection of Chris and Ann.  But Ann probably wouldn't take him back.  She would be a fool to after he broke up with her for reasons I'm not too sure about.  Perhaps he was just smart and realized they were too different?  Still, I'm not sure who would be a perfect match for Ann; she's pretty unenthusiastic about everything (in a way that differs from April) and only seems to get motivated through the forceful pushing of her bestie, Leslie.

We had pretty good development in this episode, so I was very pleased with it.  And we had a mentionable line from my favorite guy in Pawnee, Ron Swanson:

[Ron] Is this all the eggs we have?

[Donna] Yes.  What are you making?

[Ron] Eggs.

 Ron, you can make anything about food funny!  He is the highlight of my TV week most of the time.

I wonder if the next episode will be about how the quality of things at Parks and Rec will be down because Leslie is no longer running everything so smoothly.  It could mean a good opportunity for some Ron scenes, as he is the last person to be enthusiastic about doing work, and Leslie is the one who covers his lazy behind.  Crossing my finger, too, that we see the angry Chris come out.  Don't keep me waiting, Parks and Recreation!

The Answer to the Riddle is...Ron Loves Riddles

Oh, Parks and Recreation!  I don't know why more of the people I know don't watch this show.  Of all of the shows that I'm watching nowadays, it's probably the one that makes me laugh the most.  S04E14 was no exception.  It's hard to pick which things that I loved the best!

Got to love the ongoing animosity between April and Ann.  It's getting better since she did admit in this episode that Ann's not the ugliest person in the world, but of course, April can't be openly nice to Ann because it just wouldn't be April.  She does end up listening to Leslie and giving Ann some help this episode.  Aww, they are all such good friends.  I'd be April's friend for sure.

I love that Ron's enthusiastic start of the "Get-Ann-A-Date" meeting was actually meant for his ribs.  Damnit, Ron, you are just the best!

But poor Chris!  I can't believe that Jerry's daughter broke up with him in the last episode (I got a little teary after seeing how heartbroken he was talking with April last week).  Well, actually I do.  He is crazy.  But you gotta love his upbeat personality that is so annoying to other people.  I like that Tom is not fazed by Chris being down at all and treats him like normal.  Good ol' Tom.  Chris ends up being the dj for the couples party that night.  So funny!  All of his music was intensely depressing or creepy.  Because of this development, my favorite quote of the episode came up: 

[Tom] (suggesting that Chris change the music) It kinda sounds like the end of a movie about a monk who killed himself.

[Chris] It is.

Chris eventually loosens up and switches to lighter, more appropriate music.  Not sure why.  I thought it was because he was starting to date Ann again, but it turned out to not be the case.  Maybe he saw Ann being down herself and decided that he didn't need to help her stay in her funk.  Who knows.  I love that Chris, unable to imagine anyone better than his ex-girlfriend, starts to longingly gaze at Jerry from across the room.  Thankfully Tom was there to tell him to cut that out.  Oh, Chris.

It's no surprise to me that Leslie would top Ben's present with something so specific and crazy as a cryptex.  I knew that he would never be able to crack it.  I almost thought Andy would randomly get it until Andy decided to take Ben to the smartest person he knew--Ron, of course.  Also, no surprise that Ron takes a hammer to the thing to open it so he could get his next clue about where to meet Leslie for Valentine's Day.  Classic Ron!  I was surprised that he was a little enthusiastic about finding the next clue!  I thought Ron had to secretly like riddles because he surely couldn't just want to hang out with Andy (though he did admit to enjoying his company) and Ben.  He later admits to loving riddles (after wanting to go on the record to say that he didn't).

The trio eventually splits up the work, after finding out there are like over 20 clues to get.  I liked when Ron casually goes into a gay bar and gets a clue.  He got lots of interested looks, but he paid them no mind just having such a good time solving the clues.  I did think that guy at the snow globe place was jerk; just because he didn't have a date that night and had to work doesn't mean he had to take it out on Ben.  They don't collect all the clues, but Ron smartly gives Ben the idea where to meet Leslie.  Ron was really disappointed he didn't get to solve it completely.  So cute!

Leslie and Ben decide not to go on their dinner date so they can spy on Ann's secret date.  It turns out to be Tom, whom I was thinking about earlier when he was introducing various date candiates to Ann.   Speaking of that scene, I like when Tom dismisses a guy right from the start because he introduced himself using juggling.  Great!  Anyway, Ann and Tom just have a drink, but we don't know if anything will come out of that right now.  I'm not opposed to their pairing, I'm just not so sure how great it would be.  I think Ann's a little uptight and Tom seems like a fun, innovative guy.  But who knows?  Maybe they will even each other out.

Another favorite part of the episode for me was when Ron tries to hint to Leslie that he wants a scavenger  hunt for his birthday.  I love seeing him excited!  I hope she does do that, although with Leslie she always tries to go bigger and better, so you never know what she might have in store.  If Ron's involved, though, I'm sure it will be full of laughs.  His birthday can't come soon enough!

This week's episode was great.  I'm looking forward to seeing what's up with Chris, Tom and Ann's relationship, and more Ron Swanson gold.