Being Jill

Suburgatory, S02E16

Tessa, wanting to have something good on her college application, asked Jill to take her on as her intern.  To Tessa's dismay, her new boss was less impressive and more exhausting than she had imagined.  George tried to follow the therapist's advice to distract Noah from his feelings for Carmen until they died out.  Dalia also gave Mr. Wolfe advice about how to feel better about his breakup with Chef Alan.

Of course, I can give Tessa a lot of credit for being ambitious by jumping at the opportunity she saw in working for Jill.  It's good that she's motivated to get into college and all, but I didn't like the way that she basically pushed Dallas aside, who has been so great to her, the second she thought that Jill might make her look more accomplished.  Maybe so (because let's be real--the crystal store isn't going to wow admissions personnel), but I wish that Tessa had thought to speak to Dallas first before she nearly begged Jill for the job.  I don't like seeing Dallas hurt like that.

Unsurprisingly, Tessa did not like Jill as a boss.  I don't know why she would have thought it would work.  I mean, she babysat for Jill and Noah before.  She couldn't have possibly thought that Jill was less terrible than she seemed.  I would just look at that crib made out of bones (or tusks?) and realize that I was going to work for someone crazy and most likely insensitive.  My favorite crazy thing that Tessa was tasked to do was to interepret Opus' review for Jill's new book.  That was the stupidest and most pointless thing I could imagine Tessa doing for her that involved writing.  It was a good way, however, to teach Tessa that she might have been a bit jumping the gun when asking to work for Jill.  I don't think I've seen Tessa look so mad in a long time.  Seeing her writing up "Opus'" review with so much hatred, I wouldn't have been surprised if she later went to Jill and shoved her own book up her ass.

My favorite part of the story was the very end after Tessa had seen Jill for the self-loathing and pitiful woman that she really was.  By then Tessa wasn't admiring Jill's success or anything and realized that she had been pretty terrible to Dallas.  I'm not mad at Dallas for making Tessa straight out tell her that the person who could teach her how to be a good person was Dallas, not Jill.  I really loved how Dallas pulled that compliment out of Tessa and graciously took Tessa back as an employee.  If she didn't, it would sort of contradict that compliment.  Still, I think that Tessa is lucky that Dallas has a heart of gold.  She could have easily been petty and immature about taking Tessa back, but instead she welcomed her with an open arm.

I didn't think much at first about George doing his best to get Carmen out of Noah's mind.  It just felt like with Noah being married, that was the most sensible thing to do.  However, his persistence and tendency to defend Jill was mostly about his own issues about Alex leaving him long ago.  I wouldn't have ever thought that George and Jill might have something in common, but I liked that this story showed that they do.  It had just looked like George was trying to do right by his friend, but he was really sympathizing with Jill and trying to protect her (and himself).  That's pretty interesting.  Luckily, George isn't as bad as Jill, but we might see more sides of her (like her being her own biggest critic) as Noah continues to pursue Carmen.

I felt a little relived that Carmen didn't have romantic feelings for Noah.  It made his public announcement for divorce and that ridiculous shower scene between him and Carmen seem silly.  I don't get the impression that Carmen is the type to hide her feelings, so I think that she would have made it clearer if she had liked Noah from long ago, even if he were married.  Noah, looking a little swept away by "love," doesn't want to give up.  I feel sort of bad for Carmen, who no doubt, has to endure Noah's courting for a while.  I know he's going to do a lot of outrageous actions to win her over, and I hope he doesn't succeed.  Noah's not such a bad guy, but I still think that he's more trouble than he's worth.  Carmen, being employed to such unstable people, has enough on her plate without having to date Noah.

It was weird to see Dalia helping out Mr. Wolfe, but I get that she sort of identifies with him because Evan broke her heart too.  It was sort of cute to see her taking Wolfe to the salon and giving his hair a new look.  I don't know if Wolfe has any other friends, so Dalia might have been the only one to at least give him the kick in the pants not to mope about his breakup.  The one thing that stands out most in their story, though, is when Dalia was "crying."  The noise she made sounded like a robot was malfunctioning.  It's impressive that she's taught herself how to cry without tears, and yet it's also a little frightening.  I feel like Dalia, who suppresses her emotions so easily, is one day going to explode.  I would not like to see that.  I'd much rather her have like a few seconds to cry for real and get out her pain rather than go psycho one day from never truly expressing her emotions.  Maybe Evan will come to love her after all and Dalia's emotional time bomb will be defused.

I liked this episode all right, but it was far from my favorite.  It's nice to have a break from "What's Ryan and Tessa's problem this week," but I didn't like having to see Tessa try to climb her way to success by stepping on Dallas a little bit.  It's fortunate that Jill was the worst person she could have interned for because it gave Tessa a reality check about how valuable being under Dallas' wing really is.  I don't think it was fortunate that George gave Noah the okay to go pursue Carmen.  If she's smart, she'll stay away from that train wreck.  I think it was cute to see Dalia helping someone with whom she has something in common with, but I'm more worried about her than I am with Mr. Wolfe.  She's obviously still hurting, and I want to see her heart mended as soon as possible.

Left Behind

Suburgatory, S02E15

Tessa confronted Ryan about his unexplained absence and found out that he was investigating possible colleges.  Realizing that their futures would soon go in different directions, Tessa tried to think about college herself, while Ryan tried to find a way to stay with Tessa on a long-term basis.  Marty's sudden death made George realize no one knew him in Chatswin at all.  With Noah's help, George tried to find a good place to leave Marty's ashes after he had been the only one they could find to take them.

What a relief that Ryan wasn't doing anything particularly wrong!  He was just worried that Tessa would freak at the mention of him going off for college.  It's adorable that he was so concerned she wouldn't want to be separated from him that he tried to hide it.  That idiot.  I just wish that Tessa was more worried about them parting one day rather than almost gleefully imagining her life in New York City without Ryan.  I mean, it reflected badly on her when Ryan was moping around about his blessing being a curse because it would put himself and Tessa in different places in the future, while her first thought wasn't to find a way to maintain their relationship.  He was even ready to get himself "hobbled," so that his time with Tessa wouldn't have to end.  It took Tessa while before she thought about how precious her remaining time with Ryanwas  and rushed off to see him.  Sometimes I don't like how long it takes her to realize these things.  She's human, but still.

That guy who works at the photo shop is crazy as hell.  I knew he was a troublemaker from the moment he babbled to Ryan that he wasn't a biological Shay.  Sir, mind your own business!  This time he wanted to be a "hit man," and whack Ryan with a metal pipe?  What is this grown man doing?  He should be arrested, even if Ryan asked him to do it.  Like, Tessa pointed out that he had to hear the message she was leaving for him before he ran out to attack Ryan, but Mr. Photo acted like he had no idea.  After coming back for a second attack that failed, thankfully, I was happy to see Tessa snatch the pipe from him.  What a nutcase!  I don't like the idea of Ryan hanging out with that guy.  Nothing good ever comes from it.

Besides Ryan saying that he wanted a life-size of Tessa over a pocket-size (aww!), I loved when Tessa ambushed him in the bathroom:

[Ryan] Tessa.  You're not allowed in here unless you have a penis.[Tessa] Then what's your excuse?

I liked that Tessa was not playing around when it came to lying to her like that.  I'm guessing that he was just going to keep avoiding her, so she had to resort to such methods.  Thank goodness.  I wouldn't have wanted half of the story to be about him running away from her.

In George's story, Marty's death was so predictable.  If hadn't died after talking about having his life ahead of him, it would have seemed like false advertising (or foreshadowing).  It was sad that not one damn person knew more about him beyond a few superficial things like what his driver's license might tell you or what his mailman could say.  It's ironic the second George thought to learn one thing about Marty that he kicked the bucket.  Especially because the few bits of information he gained tipped the scale enough to make him the owner of Marty's ashes.  That's a crazy responsibility for someone who barely had a conversation with the guy.  But I guess Marty was sort of lucky he ended up in George's hands.  He could have gone to Dalia who sang this horribly monotone song for his slideshow, yet easily admitted she had never even met him.  She really set the overall sentiment for those in attendance of Marty's memorial.

It was sort of cute that even though Marty's "girl" turned out to be another stranger, Fatima still was grateful enough for the gift of the tickets to give his urn a kiss.  It was a little weird, but nice that she wasn't creeped out by receiiving a gift from a dead guy.  That was closer than he was going to get with Fatima at that moment, so George sorta did Marty a favor.

I liked George's idea of spreading out Marty's ashes outside of Chatswin to let Marty travel like he always wanted to.  I guess they couldn't afford to go somewhere really far, but I think George's heart was in the right place, so it was good enough.

Noah admitted that he was in love with Carmen--duh!  Who didn't know that?  There is no way Noah's affection for her only amounted to how well she took care of Opus.  Please.  He took her to an opera and got her fancy gifts.  It explains a lot of why he couldn't let the feud with Dallas die for the longest time.  He wanted his woman back, not his nanny.  I don't know how Jill will fit into this whole thing, but I'm sure Noah's love won't come easy.  Jill and Noah don't have the most spectacular marriage, but I doubt that Jill will be able to save face if Noah divorces her for "the help."  I just hope that Carmen, who hasn't done anything wrong (so far) doesn't get caught in the crossfire of Noah's decision to pursue her.

Speaking of love, Dalia is so aggressive when it comes to Evan.  I don't think that he'll be able to push her away after that intense kiss she gave him.  That was insane.  I admire her for going after the one she wants, even if he's so outside of my imagination of her preference.  I wonder if Dalia and Evan will make as a wonderfully mismatched couple as Tessa and Ryan do.

This was a good episode.  I couldn't hate it for any reason as long as Ryan wasn't trying to go after another girl behind Tessa's back.  I should have had more faith in him--he wouldn't be that much of a scumbag.  I don't know if they'll be able to survive Ryan going off to college, but at least they've agreed to enjoy their time while they have it.  And it's great that Ryan didn't throw away his future by letting a crazy photographer destroy his leg.   George was burdened by giving Marty his final resting place, but he eventually figured out the best thing to do.  The lesson he and Noah learned through their journey of Marty's unknown life made Noah confess his love for Carmen, which seems equivalent to lighting a stick of dynamite to me.  There might be another explosion of love soon between Evan and Dalia.  I doubt that little dork will be able to keep Dalia off his mind after the passionate kiss she gave him this week.

Tessa Might Be A Loser, But Dalia Isn't

Suburgatory, S02E12

Tessa, noticing that she was lacking an after school activity, signed up as the producer of the school TV show, Teen Talk.  Ryan had to fill in as the host, and his success changed the show into a discussion forum about his body.  Tessa, not finding value in his show, argued with Ryan about whether she was a loser or not.  George discovered that Dallas' property was technically in East Chatswin, causing Dallas to be driven out of the country club and Dalia to have to move to a new school.

One thing that I like about Ryan and Tessa dating is that Ryan is able to point out things that make Tessa look sort of bad.  He doesn't do it deliberately, of course, but just by comparing the two of them, you see that Tessa could stand for improvement.  This time, it was about her extracurricular activities.  Ryan's multiple engagements made it clear that Tessa isn't involved in anything beyond herself.  Instead of that realization turning into a positive for her, she basically made it a negative once Ryan became part of her show.  Ryan came in to save Tessa's butt on her first day as producer and made her show a relative hit, and yet she couldn't look past the superficial to see the bigger picture.  For someone who claims to have more depth than most residents of Chatswin, Tessa can be pretty dense.  When Mr. Wolfe has to break down why you love your own boyfriend, you're not doing too well.

Still, I loved when Tessa and Ryan made up.  Ryan knelt down in front of her and apologized for calling her loser, and Tessa admitted that she was acting like one too.  Then they had a cute kiss on-air (which I worried would be a problem, but no one was bothered by it).  Damnit, they are just too amazing together.  I never thought the two of them would end up being one of my favorite couples.

Dallas' story was funny in that she had to adapt to East Chatswin life, which seemed to be pretty ghetto in comparison.  I mean, she technically only had to start going to a different gym (and probably eat somewhere else), but that was enough for Dallas to feel the pain.  When she wouldn't even go back into her house because it was "practically a crack den," I was cracking up.  To have such a beautiful home and sleep in your car because of a zoning technicality is too much.  George being by her side throughout her "ordeal" made it seem worthwhile.  It showed that he'll be with her through thick and thin.

Unquestionably, the best thing about the zoning problem was that Dalia got sent to East Chatswin High School.  She was escorted out of her original school by security and she still remained cool and sort of dissed her classmates before she did (by having no one to say goodbye to).  Then once transfered, she continued to diss them by calling people she saw there by her old classmates' names.  The worst was the red-haired janitor that she called Tessa.  Wow, she really does not think highly of any damn body.  Things got even better when Dalia met her black doppelganger, Daisy.  Although I felt bad for Dalia being bullied, it was so interesting to see the shoe on the other foot for her.  Daisy and the "A's" kept coming down on Dalia for being so pale and vampire like--wow.  As if she was the only white girl in school--they were clearly just looking for something to make fun of her.  I mean, they had little material to work with because Dalia doesn't scream "loser" with her attitude or fashion sense.  They might as well just have teased her for breathing.  What was great about Dalia being hated was that she didn't really fight back and pointed out to Daisy that one day she might find herself in Dalia's position ("the odd biatch out").   Only Dalia could walk through a hall where everyone was throwing paper balls at her as if it was nothing.  I love her.  She may not have been "tan" enough to fit in with the popular kids there, but they couldn't break her inner diva. 

This was a great episode.  Again, it wasn't hilarious or anything, but I enjoyed the series of events.  Tessa really needs to get off her high horse sometimes and look at things from a more positive side.  Ryan seems like he may be able to bring about that change in her.  Dallas is a trip when having to step outside of her world.  I'd love to see her in that kind "trouble" again, as long as George is there with her.  Without him, I don't think she could survive in an "unfruited water" world.  Dalia might have gotten a taste of her own medicine meeting Daisy, but she surely didn't bow down to another queen bee.  You have to love her unwavering spirit.

Matchmaking And Dog Therapy

Suburgatory, S02E11

Tessa was asked by Shelia to help find Lisa a boyfriend, and after seeing Lisa dating a little boy, Tessa tried to find a match for Lisa online.  George fought with Yoni over the best way to help Yakult, and Dallas began to take Yoni's side in the matter.

One of my favorite things about Tessa's story was that although she had to spend a lot of time with Shelia, the focus wasn't about how the two got along, but whether Lisa could be hooked up before she "ran out of time."  I was worried for a second Shelia was going to grill Tessa and judge Tessa up and down for being with her favorite child, but luckily she seems cool with Tessa enough to think that she needs to be involved in another Shay's future.  It was weird that Tessa was put in the position of matchmaker, but not presumptuous (as it was when Lisa was doing that in the past) since Lisa was pratically begging Tessa to do so.

I guess I can't be too surprised that a simple dream about Lisa being a spinster cat lady scared her into thinking that if she didn't get a boyfriend soon, she'd be alone forever.  I just wish Lisa would use those brains I know she has to think about how rash that seems for someone her age.  Unless she thinks she's never going to leave Chatswin where there aren't enough guys to appreciate her, it's jumping the gun.  Rather than be amused that she was dating someone still in middle school, I just felt bad for Lisa.  She looked even more desperate than usual.  It's crazy that she has confidence about other odd things and yet has not a bit about her own value as a girlfriend.  I'm sure her mother doesn't help in that area (she made it clear by stating that boys were exactly lining up for her).

I got scared that when Tessa accidentally invited her ex to be Lisa's date that Tessa might fall for him again.  Luckily, she was so damned bored with him.  I loved that.  Then I thought Ryan might feel threatened and he did in a way that I didn't expect.  He was only threatened by the quality of Scott's hair.  Too cute.  My favorite part of the whole episode was when he told Tessa that she had to leave him for Scott because of how silky his hair was.  Tessa told him no and gave him a little kiss.  Aww!  God, I love them together!

I also liked that Lisa realized that she was wasting her time with Scott and AJ because with Malik she had already felt what love was like.  That better mean that she'll reconsidering taking Malik back.  The way they broke up was ridiculous.  She gave up way too quickly on him.

George sort of gave up quickly, too, when battling with Yoni.  Yoni is fake as hell and has some weird grudge against George (I guess maybe because George is the only one who sees through his bullshit?), but I sort of like him as the role of George's nemesis.  I couldn't be too mad that Dallas was falling for all of Yoni's pseudo healing tips when every other woman in Chatswin was eating up every word out of Yoni's mouth, but it was frustrating that George was being made to look like a monster.  All he really had to do was really show that he cared about Yakult and he would have won Dallas' trust a lot faster.  Oh, well.  It was sort of funny to see Yoni driving George crazy.

The best thing about that story and my second favorite thing in the episode was when George was taking Yakult for a walk and had Dalia with him.  She opened up to him about her thoughts of religious conversion and school.  It's so cute how they are bonding like that!  It was even better when George and Dalia teamed up to expose Yoni as a fraud to Dallas--so good.  And I like that Dalia thought that fetch was a game George made up for her and Yakult to play.  Dalia is really brilliant at making the most of her screen time.  George's victory wouldn't have been half as great if Dalia wasn't involved.

This was a really good episode.  I don't think it was hilarious or anything, but it was adorable.  There weren't a lot of Ryan and Tessa moments, but that one at dinner with Scott was more than enough to placate me until next time.  Hopefully Lisa will consider the special thing she had with Malik and start getting him back in her life.  I don't need to see her hanging around with boys like AJ again.  George is really becoming an irreplaceable existence in not just Dallas' life, but Dalia's as well.  I get a real kick out of George and Dalia bonding, and I'm interested to see what kind of way Dalia might open up to George next.

Fighting Like Sisters Already

Suburgatory, S02E09

After Tessa made her feel bad about her SAT scores, Dalia invited Tessa to her hip hop class to show off her dancing skills.  Their fight encouraged a fight between Dallas and George as well.  The Shays kidnapped Malik in hopes to exchange him for Ryan, but ended up going to Malik's for dinner and pleading Ryan to come home.  Jill and Noah also asked Mr. Wolfe to train Opus because he wasn't exceptional enough to get into their first choice preschool.

I was surprised that Tessa was being so cocky about her SAT scores to Dalia.  I know they aren't best friends or anything, but it wasn't like Dalia had started anything with her, so it came off as pretty rude.  I'm guessing that she was just too jealous of Dalia who gets big rewards like cars for doing the bare minimum, while she scores in the top percentile and gets a measly card.  What I like most about this behavior is that the girls are sort of acting like sisters already.  I can imagine why otherwise Tessa would expect George to reward her in a similar manner when she knows full well that in her own family they don't have the means to be handing out cars like candy bars.

I was nearly ready to feel bad for Dalia until she got to shine at the hip hop class.  I love seeing Dalia dance!  She's not only good, but she maintains that expressionless face the whole time doing it.  It just gives her movement even more attitude.  Plus, I thought her outfit was cute.  Tessa wasn't too into the dancing, but once she felt upstaged, she started to get into it.  I don't think she was as good as Dalia, but she was putting up a decent fight.  At any rate, their dance-off was entertaining to watch.

It was interrupted by Dallas and George's own beef with each other, concerning parenting.  I was surprised at Dallas telling George that he lets Tessa act any way that she wants.  She was tripping.  Dalia is not innocent in that area, either.  But they both made good points.  George could stand to be a little less cheap, at least in showing his daughter that he's proud of her.  She doesn't need to get a new car, but something nice might keep her from getting jealous.  My favorite part of their dance-off was when George started break dancing and Tessa wondered where George had magically gotten some cardboard from.

In the Shay story, I was surprised at how far they would take their insanity.  Malik didn't feel very scared, but he was still kidnapped, nonetheless.  And worse than that, he was lured into the Shay's trap by Lisa pretending to want him back.  That was damn cold.  But I guess she'll do anything to get back her brother.  It amazes me how much she loves him, considering she always seemed to resent being in his shadow.  Anyway, it was ridiculous that they took him and tried to disguise their identities.  They're not just crazy, but they're idiots as well.  Lucky for them that Malik's parents didn't think anything of it and invited them to dinner.

One thing that made me laugh at Malik's house was when Malik's dad first opened the door:

[Edmond] Did you do your homework?

[Malik] Not yet, I was  kidnapped.

I just love how no one took the kidnapping seriously.  They might have just shown up for dinner without going that far.  Later, I was sort of bothered at the way Malik's parents were supporting Ryan's decision to get emancipated, as if he had been abused in his life.  He shouldn't have been lied to for so long, but he certainly wasn't treated badly at any time.  He was living the life of a king, which took a vegetarian meal and a lack of pudding skin before Ryan could remember.  It's ridiculous that it took him so long to think of all of the benefits of being a Shay.

I was happy to see Ryan finally return home, but not so much to see him eating a big thing of pudding skin.  It looked really gross to me, but if it got him home again, then it's all good.  It was cute that he was saying that skin was thicker than water and then Lisa couldn't let it go and had to correct him.  It really made me laugh.

I sort of felt that the story about Opus was unnecessary.  It was adorable to see Mr. Wolfe talking to Opus as if he could understand him and judging him seriously on an impossible scale, but it didn't really add to anything, except to the idea that Noah and Jill are bizarre parents.  It's almost as if they haven't a clue about what babies are capable of (which really makes it obvious they didn't raise their first child).  I guess it was an all right story if they just needed to fill up some extra time, but they could have extended one of the dance-offs in the Tessa story instead.

It was great to watch this show again after the holiday break because I've missed the weirdness of Chatswin.  I like that Tessa and Dalia seem to be bonding as sisters, even though their parents aren't even married.  It makes it seem like it's possible that their families could successful join one day.  Dalia and Tessa are never going to be thick as thieves, but I could see them functioning as arguing sisters in the future.  The Shays being reunited again is wonderful because it means they can stop committing crimes to get Ryan back.  Most of all Ryan can stop acting like his parents stole his liver while he was sleeping or something and get back to being the Shay's shining but dopey star.  Opus is a cute little baby, but he doesn't really need any stories about him that aren't related to the main characters.  That time can better be spent on settling another beef between Tessa and Dalia.

Being With Loved Ones

Suburgatory, S02E07

Ryan freaked out after learning he was adopted and stayed at Malik's house during his identity crisis.  George set up avacation package for Tessa and Alex to enjoy during the holidays, so they could spend time together.  Dalia wanted Carmen to come home for Christmas and made a music video that expressed her feelings.  Carmen and Jill didn't get along well, and Carmen considered whether she wanted to stay at that house.

Ryan was sort of acting like a mixture of the Hulk and some kind of wild animal once he found out he was adopted.  I knew he would be mad and confused, but I could have never predicted that he would jump on his parents' car and start banging on it in a fit of rage!  I really loved how he scared the hell out of his family.  It was so funny.  Especially when he went to Lisa's window calling her a liar and she quickly rolled up the window in fear.  He probably would have pulled her out of the car and started swinging her body around like a bag or potatoes.  Ryan is so crazy!  He even hit things like parking meters and lamp posts like some kind of maniac.

I loved that he somehow happened to be running on the street when Malik's family was driving by.  It was cute how Malik coaxed him into coming near with a Starburst.  He's such a simple guy!  Then it was really weird that Malik threw him into the trunk and closed it.  Malik's dad responded in a funny way:

Did you just put a human being in our trunk?

I'm assuming that Malik did so because there was no room in that little ass car for one more person, but I felt kind of bad for him.  But at least he had a place to go.  While there, he apparently had time to print out business cards with his new "opposite name," Eugene Goldfarb.  Horrible name.  Doesn't fit him at all.  It was funny that he had "no longer living a lie" written on there.

The best part of Ryan's story was when Lisa asked Tessa to go talk to him.  It seemed that she had straightened him out and made him realize that the Shays were his real family because they raised him, but he ended up running away.  However, I was so happy that Tessa admitted that she had a crush on Ryan too and kissed him.  It was adorable how happy he was about it because she had used tongue.  It was the only thing he wanted for Christmas--Aww!  Ryan and Tessa forever!

Speaking of Tessa, I'm surprised that she missed George so much.  She just seemed so gung-ho about spending time with Alex that I thought she would be super excited.  But I guess during Christmas you just really long for your traditions and those that you remember spending them with.  It just didn't feel like Christmas when she was in a spa and sitting in a hotel lobby with a mother she barely knew.  Also, there was that incredibly clumsy hug the two of them did.  Ugh.  It was nothing like the quick one George had to remind Tessa to give him before she left.  So it only made sense she would want to come back.  I was a little touched by her feelings because it reminded me of my own feelings for my father during Christmas.

There were lots of great things in the other stories, but Dalia blew away all the other stories with her music video "You Missed A Spot."  That was hilarious and cute!  She even had her stepmother in there sort of rapping in a futuristic flight attendant outfit.  And I loved seeing Dalia making a heart with her hands but seem so emotionless doing it.  I think I enjoyed every second of that video.  I had high expectations, but Dalia exceeded them.  Wow.

Another "wow' thing was that Dalia called George "Daddy Altman."  I don't know if she meant it sincerely (because her voice always sounds the same), but it was sort of sweet because it caught me off-guard.  Has she already started to think of George as a father figure?  Because that would great. He might have scored enough points to earn that right since he managed to get Carmen back for Dalia.  I thought he might, but I hoped Carmen wouldn't have to actually be in a box (she must love Dalia to sit in a box with packing peanuts just to surprise Dalia).  He also scored points with Dallas too--good job, George.

Great Christmas episode.  It's a little earlier than I was expecting, but I suppose it's all right since it's already December.  I guess that just means that they won't be showing any more episodes for a while?  I hope that Ryan goes home soon and gives up that stupid name he invented.  I'm happy that Tessa hasn't forgotten about her father in exchange for her mother.  Dalia's hilarious music video also helped get herself reunited with her loved one.   She really needs to have another reason to make another video again--I don't care what the song is about.

George Gets The Best Review Ever

Suburgatory, S02E04

Dallas was going around town telling everyone how magnificent George was in bed, but they hadn't even gotten past kissing yet.  Dalia ditched her friends for the companionship for her new Singaporean stepmother, and the Ks were looked after by Lisa.  Tessa tried to get Dalia to be herself again when she noticed how she was spiraling into desperation.

I thought maybe Dallas had learned her lesson from their first date, but I guess it's just in her nature to want to make things dramatic and magical, not matter what it is.  I had to just laugh when she brought George to the bedroom and she was hanging in the air and all these crazy light work was going off.  It was like he was in some kind of strip club.  The gospel choir was another funny addition to their first attempt at sex.  But for all this show, Dallas fizzled out with a fake orgasm and praise of a night that was over before it started.  I was really surprised that she kept doing this to him, as if she had no confidence that he could perform, nor wanted him.  It was so bizarre.  Then I wondered why the hell she was bragging about the sex so much when he hadn't gotten to do a damn thing.  I liked this situation just because I didn't expect it.  They have such good chemistry, I thought she would be happy to jump his bones.  But it took a talking before they got to bed for real, and even then Dallas wasn't wowed.  Haha.  George was lucky she already pumped him up before actually trying him out.

The funniest part of this episode was when Dallas and George were at the Chinese restaurant about to tell Tessa and Dalia the news about them:

[George] We have a-a little announce to make.

[Waitress] No coupon tonight.  Everything full price.

[George] That's fine.

[Waitress] Price doesn't include gratuity.

[George] O-Ok.  Why....why is she directing this at me?

[Dallas] Sorry, George, Shun Ju can be a little--

[Waitress] You want extra pancake, you pay.

[George] I don't even know if we're getting moo shu.

 I was dying with laughter at how crazy aggressive she was being, like George had stolen something.  That must be something that happens to him often in Chatswin because he just has the face of a cheap or non-paying customer.

Another interesting thing that happened at that table was that Tessa found that she was interested in what was happening to Dalia.  I wasn't shocked that she went out of her way to make sure Dalia was okay, but I did think she was being overly nice to Dalia.  I like that Tessa can help her out even if Dalia isn't grateful.  I mean, that's the beauty of their relationship--they are sworn enemies, but they tend to give each other advice whether the other wants it or not.  I love that they're not friends, but still manage to look out for each other when times are rough.  Dalia didn't look bad with black hair, but she certainly didn't look good as Evan's companion.  Although Tessa was told in a wonderfully Dalia way to get "the h out of her r," it's great that she dyed Dalia's hair back to blonde.  And returned her lackeys to her side.

Speaking of the Ks, I was laughing when they almost got into the "molest-y" van and were given to Lisa to be watched over.  Instead of them being like abandoned puppies, I was hoping that they might turn into 3 creepy versions of Lisa, but no such luck.  That would have been so good for her to be the leader of a group for once.  But I guess she just doesn't know how to use people like Dalia does.  You have to have those skills from birth.

Two more things I wanted to point out.  One, Mr. Wolfe looked so creepy with those blue contacts in.  Eww!  No!   Two, Wan-er's character didn't make sense to me because they speak English in Singapore.  I don't know why she would only be speaking Chinese (save when she said "bye").  Also, since they said that Wan-er is a flight attendant, I would think that they would require she speak some English.  I don't know.  It was very odd to me.

This was a good episode.  George got to feel like an undeserving rock star, and Tessa acted like Dalia's friend when Dalia felt like she had no one else (except Evan--ugh).  I'm looking forward to them getting back to normal where they are messing up each other's lives, rather than making them better.  And it was nice to have a little focus on Dalia for a change.  I get a little disappointed when she's only in the episode for about 2 lines (she's one of the best in this show)!

Tessa Follows In Her Mother's Footsteps

Suburgatory, S02E01

Tessa came home from a summer with her grandmother and expressed an interest in her mother's passion for singing.  Lisa blackmailed her parents about Ryan so that she could get special treatment in the family.  Noah and Dallas fought over Carmen, both wanting her to raise their kids.

I was really happy to see this show back on the air, but not incredibly impressed by the premiere.  I was a little disappointed that Eden was totally out of the picture, but then again I do like the possibility of George dating someone else (especially Dallas) more than his whirlwind relationship from last season.  I was a little interested in Tessa's desire to embrace the talents she might have gained from her mother, but I wish there was more she had learned during her summer about the mysterious woman.  The battle over Carmen was like a comedy relief from the slightly dramatic Tessa story, but not really more interesting than Lisa barely milking her one piece of control over her mother.  The latter story was also disappointing in how little changed as an end result.

I thought it was cute that Tessa wanted to be a little like her mother, even though I felt like George was threatened by the idea a little.  It did seem like she sort of wanted to cast aside his contributions to her being who she is, but then again, George has raised her most of her life, so it's impossible that any influence he has been upon her could be lost by her trying to mimic her mother a little.  The best part of the episode came from this story when Tessa was nearly about to give up her interest in music until George finally shared something about her mother and encouraged her to perform, despite whether she would be good or not.  And I think Tess was pretty good!  It took me a moment to notice that she was singing the theme song, but that was a little cool (since I do like the theme song a lot better than most other shows).  I hope that she continues to do something with singing or playing the guitar because I think it would be a good fit for Tessa, who already showed some talent in writing poetry.

I really wanted Lisa to take her mother for all she was worth with that bombshell of a secret under her belt!  She did try to get to have the solo in their family skit (or whatever that ridiculous prancing around in cat outfits was), which was basically popping out of a trashcan at the end.  Really?  I don't know if she got even an ounce of the "golden child" treatment that Ryan has been given over the years, and Lisa will never have such power over her mother again.  Or a very little chance of having it again.  I knew Shelia would eventually turn the tables on her daughter (because Lisa is nowhere as crafty as her mother), but I had hoped Lisa would really get to enjoy the ride while it lasted.  Her reign of power seemed so short that I felt like why did she even bother to bring it up?  In the end, everything went back to their normal, the potting shed was burned, and Lisa still wasn't doing the solo.  The only difference was that Lisa's parents know that she knows.  And I guess if Ryan ever finds out he's not a Shay by blood, it'll be Lisa's fault for sure.  Not sure Lisa understands how to really take full advantage of an opportunity.

Noah (especially) and Dallas fighting over Carmen was just stupid.  The only good part of it was that it seemed to affect Dalia enough that she felt like she could talk to Tessa about her concern over losing her nanny.  Of course, when she spoke to Tessa, she was both expressing her fondness for Carmen and putting Tessa down at the same time.  That's a talent.  But it was nice to see there was no change really in their relationship.  I would hate to see Dalia stop treating Tessa so badly--it's one of the funniest things.  As far as Carmen leaving Dallas, I don't know if that's really something I care about at this point.  I would think that she would be better suited for Noah, who seems to think it's okay to put a cup holder on his baby.  Before child services come (I doubt they do in Chatswin) I pray that Carmen actually does start to take care of that baby.  Little Opus' mother certainly doesn't give a damn since she's off on a book tour instead of raising her newborn.  These women in that town...

Not the best episode, but not bad enough that I would question watching this show anymore.  After all, it was certainly one of my favorite new shows from last season, so I hope that it can remain one of my favorites.  Lately, my favorites seem to be dropping like flies, so I'm trying to give things more of a chance.  I want to see Tessa singing a little more in the next couple of episodes!

A Mother Of A Season Finale

Suburgatory, S01E22

Mother's Day in Chatswin meant there was an excessive amount of fanfare for local mothers, including a very competitive 5k run for them.  Dallas thought she could get over Dalia spending Mother's Day with her father by putting her full effort into the run, but when she injured her leg, she realized what a big mistake it was to be separated from her daughter.  George and Eden had some disagreements about whether Tessa was honest about her feelings about her mother, and George couldn't bring himself to have sex with her yet.  After seeing the baby's room at the Warners' baby shower, Eden went into false labor.  Tessa didn't get her internship and started to think about her mother after seeing so many displays of motherly love around her.  Lisa refused to believe the results of her DNA test that proved she was born a Shay, but she found out that Ryan's blood type showed he couldn't be his parents' biological son.

I shouldn't have been surprised that residents of Chatswin go all out for Mother's Day, but even if I had anticipated that, I would have never thought of Shelia riding in a carriage dressed like she was Disney's Cinderella.  I think that someone should have started throwing rocks at her or something.  That's just way too much.  I'm sure that Shelia is a mother that does an incredible amount for her kids, but I'm also aware that she's so smothering that she shouldn't get award for all her excessive parenting.  However, I did think that Ryan was cute sitting next to her in a prince outfit.  It's amazing that he, just like other kids in the neighborhood, do not think that it's embarrassing to be treating their mothers like that.  As much as I love my mother, I don't think I could have put a full newspaper page in color with our picture on it (but that kind of stunt certainly suits Mr. Wolfe).  Only in Chatswin would no one blink an eye and would, rather, try to outdo that.

The only person who didn't seem to care much about the day (besides Tessa) was Dalia who didn't think twice about preserving the tradition of going to Israel for Mother's Day without her actual mother.  Usually Dalia's self-centered actions just make me love her, but the disappointment Dallas obviously had when she heard Dalia would be gone was a little heartbreaking.  For such a difficult child like Dalia, Dallas is a wonderful mother.  I would hope that Dalia would show at least the smallest speck of appreciation.  But no.  I really wanted to see what Dalia might have done that would have been sweet only for a spoiled brat like her.  That was one letdown.

Another letdown was seeing Dallas put up a really good race only to fall and hurt her leg.  She could have won and knocked down Shelia a peg.  But I liked that she was tempted to call George for her emergency contact when the paramedic confirmed that her hair looked great.  George definitely would have come if there wasn't the matter of Eden.  In fact, the way that George was standing in the middle of the hospital when he heard about Dallas and heard that Eden was calling for him, it seemed he was at a crossroads at just who was more important to him then.  I think that if there was a burning building (and Eden was no longer pregnant), he probably would pull Dallas out first if he had to choose between the two.  We'll have to wait until the next season to see if George and/or Dallas finally see the light.

I felt for Tessa when she finally saw the light about how it sucked to have a mother out there that apparently didn't make any effort to contact her practically.  I liked how it was seeing her substitute mother, Dallas, want the company of her real daughter over Tessa's that made her stop fooling herself about her feelings.  I can relate to that feeling, having grown up most of my life without a mother.  Tessa probably was so used to brushing off the subject of her mother (in order to not have anyone pity her and protect herself) that she forgot her real abandonment issues and longing for a mother in her life (even a largely imperfect one).  I didn't expect that her grandmother would be waiting for her when Tessa got home, but it made me hopeful that we would see Tessa's mother one day.  I really want to know what her life was like that George was able to get full custody of Tessa.  But the finale wasn't going to give us any clues about that just yet.

As far as Lisa's story, I was none too surprised that Lisa was a real Shay, but I was little shocked that Ryan wasn't.  It makes a little more sense that he's apparently treated better than Lisa--they probably had to fight hard to get him and treasure his existence.  I wonder how Ryan will take the news (I doubt Lisa will just keep it to herself).  He's an easy-going guy, but he's also sensitive and might get upset about being lied to.  I think that parents should tell their adopted children early on that they aren't theirs because one day it'll get out and they will feel betrayed (unless you're Lisa and you would be thrilled).  Another story for another season.

Have to say that I agreed with Eden about the baby room.  Noah and Jill are beyond disgusting.  I feel like that room should be evidence to get them arrested.  They have all that money and they want to spend it on helping endangered species have a greater chance of becoming extinct.  Eden is a little dramatic sometimes with her beliefs (like telling Tessa her doughnut would stay in her colon for decades), but I think her reaction to that room of death was appropriate.  I hope that she doesn't reconsider giving Noah and Jill a child.  They obviously aren't the nurturing type.  They are monsters, like she said, but Eden also doesn't have any rights to their baby, either.  Just call the child inside her "Monster Junior."

Lastly, I just gotta ask what the hell was Whoopi Goldberg doing voicing Yakult in Dallas's drug-induced (I'm assuming) vision?  That was so random to me, and also unnecessary.  I feel like Dallas could have come to conclusion that she needed Dalia without that.  Plus, it just creeped me out to see that dog talking all of sudden, even if it wasn't real.  Of all things to do in a finale.

I'm really glad that Suburgatory has been picked up for another season!  They left a lot of things unanswered (on purpose) that I'd like to get more information about.  I suppose the topic I'm most interested in knowing more about is Tessa's mother.  I hope that with her grandmother making another appearance, we'll get to learn a significant amount about the mystery woman.  And, of course, in doing so we'll learn more about Tessa.  Ryan's introduction into the Shay family is also a story I'm eagerly awaiting to see told on this show.  It might even make me like that busybody Shelia a bit more, and I'm sure it'll make me like Ryan even more.  This was really good first season, and I'm confident that they will be able to pull off another great one in 2013.  Since this new show is easily one of my favorites now, I'm counting down the days until I can watch another episode.

Tessa And Dalia Versus The Dog-Napper

Suburgatory, S01E19

Dallas entrusted Tessa with the task of finding her dog, Yakult, who had been brushed out of house and home by Dalia.  Tessa joined forces with Dalia to find the little dog, who had been taken in by Mr. Wolfe.  Yakult had brought together Mr. Wolfe and his boyfriend Alan, who was reluctant to admit they were in a relationship.  Although Tessa did most of the work to figure out where Yakult was, she easily let Dalia take all the credit for bringing Yakult home safely.  George met a woman whom he had an incredible connection with, but he had no idea that she was carrying Noah's baby.  He eventually decided to overlook the oddity of dating his friend's surrogate mother and started to get to know her better.

We got to see Tessa working at Dallas' shop for the first time.  Her pink uniform wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I liked the little confrontation between her and Dalia in the store.  Dalia tried to fire her, but Dallas took Tessa's side that there was no reason she should be.  I was happy that Dalia didn't get away with dissing Tessa while she was doing honest work, but I also felt bad for Dalia because she seemed a bit neglected.  I thought she might take it out on Tessa, but it's becoming clear that Yakult is a bigger rival to Dalia than Tessa will ever be.  It's a little bit of an insult that she sees a dog more of a threat than Tessa is.  Haha.

My favorite part of the Dalia and Tessa story was when they were chasing Mr. Wolfe to his condo (Dalia referred to the place as a "welfare hotel"--wow).  It was like they were some kind of opposites-attract detective duo.  I loved it.  I didn't think that Dalia would be able to keep up so well, but she was right behind Tessa and even had the time to reapply her lip gloss as she did.  I hope there will be another time they team up like that because it was great.  Later, Tessa downplayed her role in finding Yakult so that Dalia could redeem herself in Dallas' eyes.   It was so sweet of her, but I had worried that it would turn into a moment of "no good deed goes unpunished."  But Dalia didn't do anything to make Tessa regret her actions.  That was nice and surprising.  I bet Dalia just forgot that Tessa existed again or was just so generally happy that she didn't have the time to be a biatch.  Maybe there is hope for these two to become frenemies in the future.

If someone had told me that Alicia Sliverstone would be on this show, I would have been way skeptical of whether she'd make a good addition.  But the chemistry between her and George is completely believable and sweet.  It was a bit disappointing and weird to find out that she was Noah's surrogate, but I was glad that George didn't immediately want to stop seeing her.  Eden just seems like a ray of sunshine who could brighten up George's slightly cynical, city attitude.  I was gunning for him to get with Dallas, but Eden is a wonderful alternative.  I wonder what other kind of obstacles they might have that could upstage her just being pregnant in general.  I'm sure that will create some comical situations while they date.

Suburgatory just doesn't disappoint.  Can't wait to see what happens with just about everyone next time!

Malik and Lisa: Just...Nasty

Suburgatory, S01E18

Lisa and Malik finally became an official couple, but Lisa felt so guilty about making Tessa the third wheel that she tried to hook her up with Evan.  Tessa started feeling sorry for herself and was moping around her house until Ryan brought her out of her funk and reminded her that she wasn't as pathetic as Lisa was trying to make her.  Dallas realized that she was depressed about her divorce after all and leaned on George for advice on how to handle it.  Dalia came to terms with anger she felt toward her mother for separating her from her father, mostly through getting a pet kangaroo.

Wow, after wanting Lisa and Malik to get together, they are so disgusting to watch as a couple.  They can't even drink at the water fountain without all this sensual mouth and tongue action going on!  That, plus their ice cream and fondue eating, made me instantly regret their fusion.  I guess the best thing about them being together is that they compliment each other.  I thought maybe Lisa was the one instigating all the over-sexed vibes, but Malik seems to be of the same mind since the advice he gave to Evan was fairly pervy.  It doesn't surprise me at all that Tessa was having a hard time being around them--anyone would.  Puke city.  I did like how Lisa's mother encouraged their relationship (to the point she seemed to be kissing Malik's ass and bribing him with food).  It was pretty funny how she kept comparing him to random black people she knew (making their breakfast even more awkward).

I was so annoyed, however, that Lisa kept looking upon Tessa like a charity case to the point that she tried to set her up with Evan.  Way to dig deep, Lisa.  She barely tried to find a suitable match and just wanted an easy solution to unwarranted guilt.  Evan was so awkward and dirty in his approach, thanks to listening to Malik.  He was lucky that Tessa didn't slap him in his face.  Despite Lisa claimed that she would take a bullet for Tessa (really?  what about when she ran off when Tessa was buying that scooter??), she obviously doesn't think so much about her that she would try to get some semi-decent.  Never thought I'd say this, but thank goodness for Ryan appearing.

Ryan has won me over, especially after with his time with George.  Initially he was repulsive, but I've gotten the impression that he's not bad guy at all--he's just a moron.  Maybe it was a little creepy he was semi-stalking Tessa while she was eating butter and walking around in breakfast food pajamas, but he gave her the necessary kick in the pants she needed. Tessa was being really weird and lonely by herself, so I'd much rather her go out with Ryan than be at home pretending that she was all right.  Plus, he's kinda cute in a doofus kind of way.  It wouldn't be horrible if Tessa considered him again.

As far as her father's love life is concerned, I was glad to see that George was able to provide Dallas a shoulder to cry on (or a mattress).  She had me fooled that she was taking her divorce incredibly well, and I didn't think that George's offer to give her advice about the divorce would matter to Dallas, but she had a breakdown sooner than I could have imagined.  It was pretty cute how she and George were talking on the bed about handling the depression.  I think some of the things he told her sunk in, even though it looked like it was the idea of  shopping for a new "depressed woman" wardrobe was what lifted her spirits.

It was also sweet how Noah tried to comfort Dalia about the divorce.  That was unexpected.  He usually seems so caught up in himself that he can't be bothered to worried about others' problems.  Even though his solution to Dalia's problem was to get her a kangaroo like the one in Kangaroo Jack, it seemed to help her more than anything else.  After all, she just wanted someone to be on her side (obviously Dallas' dog was her enemy), and I guess a pet kangaroo is better than nothing.  It's not like Dalia is going to get a real friend, so a kangaroo it is.  I really wonder if this pet will be permanent or was just a gag for this episode.  Can't imagine that a kangaroo would be happy living domestically.

I hope that this is the end of having to endure the unpleasant PDAs of Malik and Lisa and perhaps the start of Ryan and Tessa (at least a friendship).  This is one of the few shows that I really look forward to, so I have missed it the past couple of weeks.  Can't wait to see what they have come up with for next week!

Old Friends, Old Scooter

Suburgatory, S01E17

Dallas finally opens her crystal store and invites her sorority sisters for the event.  Tessa strives for independence from George "mothering" her and takes up a part-time job at Dallas' store.  Despite that Dallas has to face an old rival, ain't no one stopping her Steve-free express train to happiness.  Tessa has a longer way to go before she's traveling George-free yet, but her scooter is a nice start (once her dad lets her drive it).

The best thing about Dallas' reunion with her girls was the appearance of the "ol' bitch" that she didn't invite in the first place, Tulsa.  She was played aptly by Robin Givens, and I loved their interactions.  Tulsa was trying to steal the spotlight (which she did) with her endless moaning about the death of her ex-husband.  If she didn't clearly enjoy destroying Dallas' happy moment, I might have felt a sliver of sympathy for Tulsa.  You have to give props to Dallas who remains classy and upbeat, even when faced with her nemesis hinting that she may have slept with her ex-husband.  Seriously?  If Steve was doing someone like Tulsa, a woman that Dallas knew personally, then he is a bigger scum than I thought.  You couldn't cheer Dallas on any better for embracing her single life with that tidbit of information.

The best thing about Tessa story was the very first scene where she was arguing with George why she couldn't walk home from the library if he insists that walking "builds character" (Haha!):

[George] Because it's dark out.
[Tessa] You think it's safer for me to sit alone outside a dark, empty building?

She brings up a good point.  After George suggests that if she wants independence then she should get a job and buy her own set of wheels, Tessa manages to achieve that in about a day, thanks to Dallas' pay advance.  Since Tessa didn't even show up for her first assignment, does that mean Dallas will fire her?  Dallas seemed a little displeased with her absence, but it's hard to tell if she is truly mad or not.  It certainly would be a benefit for her to have a girl like Tessa who would probably keep things practical while Dallas is floating on her crystal cloud nine.

It's crazy that she had enough money to buy a used scooter even from Craigslist, but it was even crazier that Tess went to pick it up and chose Lisa to accompany her.  She would have been better alone if the bitch is gonna push her into a probable creeper's home!  I couldn't even be shocked that Lisa did that and ran for the hills.  I was more surprised to see her helping Tessa move it after it turned out the shirtless stranger could be trusted to sell her the scooter without mishap.  Tessa must be hurting for friends because I would have slapped the hell out of Lisa, regardless of her intense "survival instinct."  I like Lisa because she's so ridiculously paranoid and misinformed, but I would trade her for the first better friend I could find in a quick minute.

Now that George has gone to talk to Tessa's grandmother Helen, I wonder if we will finally see her mother.  If she's anything like Helen, we're going to be looking forward to another bitch on the screen.  I guess I forgot or something that Tessa's mother wasn't dead, but rather just not in the picture.  According to the conversation George and Helen had, George sued for full custody and won, which means that the mother had to have had some serious problems going on (I don't know why my first thought is drugs, but a mental instability is likely as well).  George is a good guy, but he's a little clumsy as a parental figure and would only look good in the midst of an obviously incompetent guardian.  He's loving, for sure, but he definitely doesn't have the smoothest parenting skills.

It would be pretty cool to see Tessa getting around on that scooter--it seems to fit her style better than a car.  I think George will cave and let her drive it (probably under some kind of condition).  It would also be interesting to see Dalia express more of her true feelings about the divorce (we almost had a tender moment between she and Dallas, but her texting showed that she is still all about the things she can get out of it).  And as always, let's get back to Dalia versus Tessa.  I'm sure if Tessa keeps working at Dallas' store, Dalia's bound to find a way to disrupt Tessa's life.  Crossing my fingers on that one.

Tessa's "Scott Strauss"

Suburgatory, S01E16

 Dallas starts off this episode showing off more hotties from various countries.  So I guess that she's not going to go for George any time soon. Why would she, really?  I mean, she looks wonderful for her age and is bubbly and fun.  There's no reason for her to settle for only those that she knows.  I'm not going to hate on her game, as much as I'd like to see her get with George.

But my reason for them getting together is ultimately so I can see the tension between Dalia and Tessa reach its peak.  The tension is rising, for sure now.  It's nice to see that Dalia can get at Tessa without even trying (and she certainly wasn't doing that with her "deep" poem about cars).  Tessa thought she had a chance to connect with a teacher she thought would be cool based on her appearance and occupation mostly, but it turns out that Tessa couldn't impress Ms. Evans.  Worse than that, she had to learn a lesson from her archenemy in the process.  After Tessa demands that Dalia tell her the secret to writing poetry Ms. Evans would like, Dalia explains that Tessa is just trying too hard to impress her, just as Dalia was trying too hard with Scott Strauss.  Sadly, Dalia is right about that and that Tessa is a little more pathetic than Dalia was with Scott.  He was a dreamy teenager boy, and Ms. Evans, as Dalia put it, was a middle-aged woman with BO.  I will have to make this episode a win for Dalia.  I haven't been keeping score, but I would have said they had been pretty even until now.  Tessa better not get blinded by someone or something again.  Dalia is an enemy you gotta keep your eye on.

I loved that after Dalia imparts this revelation to Tessa she says:

Yeah, you think about that, Biatch, because I see it sinking in. 

The incontestable winner, Ms. Dalia Royce!

Another good line was from Fred and George after George had displayed his natural talent for playing croquet:

[Fred] You are frothing my wife up into a frothy frenzy!  And I would appreciate a little decorum!
[George] Ah, OK.  I didn't mean to froth anyone.

Again, George has awesome delivery coupled with a deep voice that can make most words hilarious.  This time it was "froth."  I could laugh hearing him read a dictionary if he did it right.

Lastly, I was pleased to see that Dallas hinted again that she and George have a chance.  This was suggested by the ball carrier that she gave him labeled "Georgas."  Not the best couple name ever, but she has to have thought about them being together to think of such a ridiculous name.  Their romance is definitely going to go slowly, but I can wait.  I think I can.

As long as there is no more croquet in the next episode, I'll be happy.  There was only a little bit in this one, and it was too much.  Furthermore, when are we going to see Rex Lee again??  Let's have an episode centered on him.  But I'm always rooting for more of the Dalia-Tessa War.  Can't get enough of that.

Lisa Takes A Walk On The Pink Side

Suburgatory, S01E15

This week's episode wasn't exactly funny, but there was something cute about it.  I think it had to do with the story about Dalia trying to bring Lisa to the "pink side."  What did make it not a particularly great episode was that Noah was too heavily involved, and he's too much of a jellyfish (in terms of morals, courage and brains) to be that interesting.  His wife was following the happy-divorce trend that Dallas was setting.  I only wanted to see this story unfold in order to see what it would do for Dallas and George's relationship.

So let's talk about those two first.  George was definitely showing how jealous he was of Dallas's new boy toy, who only wore white (as did she for most of the episode).  I was less surprised that Dallas had gotten herself a little extra meat on her chest (as if she needed it) and more that she had decided to move on with someone like Yanni.  I mean, Dallas won't win any awards for the deepest woman in the world, but I thought she had a little more substance to chose a a bit more wisely.  It's crazy that she seemed to flirt more with George when she was married than she does now.   I get the sense that George is trying to win her over slowly by his ice-cream (or was it yogurt?) treating gesture.  And they both got the same thing!  Must be love!  But I guess George and Dallas won't get together so easily, or it wouldn't be any fun for those of us watching.

I liked that Dalia thinks a good revenge against Tessa is to get her best friend (I'm assuming they wouldn't have been able to get Malik?).  It's a transparent move, but Lisa goes along with it anyway, too blinded by the brilliance of Dalia and her clique to care whether her ticket in is sincere or not.  And Lisa is hardly apologetic for it; she's been starving to be someone that others envy and will take any chance she's got to become this person.  You can't hate Lisa for this.  Her own mother asked, "Who?" when Dalia told her that she was at their house to pick up Lisa.  She's invisible even at her own home; of course, becoming one of Dalia's Barbies is a better deal than hanging with Tessa, who couldn't be popular if she tried.  

However, I didn't like her too much when she left Malik hanging and forced him to dance with Kimantha.  Their dancing together was hilarious, though.  Tessa was smart to bring in one of Dalia's lackies to counteract Dalia's plan.  Although Lisa had been completely made a Dalia clone on the outside, her insides remained the same; she still wanted Malik for herself.  All right!  Lisa even knocks Kimantha out of the way and grabs her man!  Way to go, Lisa!  I'm hoping that it won't be this one time thing and from now on they will be a couple.

After Lisa returned her Dalia Club membership, Tessa asked Dalia for a cease-fire since she isn't even dating Scott anymore, but Dalia has a different ax to grind; she is having trouble imagining her mother eventually marrying Tessa's dad.  I shouldn't say "trouble" since Dalia not only foresees their parents getting together but also much further in the future where Dalia steals Tessa's girlfriend from college and then has to cater Dalia and said girlfriend's wedding.  Wow.  I couldn't believe how detailed she was!  It was great.  Tessa didn't have much to say after that and left Dalia alone.  Good call.  What could you say to all of that?

Lastly, I just want to say that Lisa is kind of scary.   The next day she is even less apologetic about what she did and says that real friends are the ones you can take for granted because they'll stick by you or something.  Then she demands for something to drink with a humorless expression.  What, so now she thinks she is the shit because she was with Dalia for a few days?  Well, I just gotta say that Malik has his hands full with a girlfriend like that.  He'd be careful not to let her upgrade him the first opportunity that presents itself to her.

I wish this episode had a little more of the battle between Dalia and Tessa.  We didn't get to see too much of Lisa enjoying being one of Dalia's "friends."  And we didn't get to see Tessa agonizing too much over Lisa betraying them.  Perhaps Tessa is too smart, as she didn't waste too much time to get Kimantha on her side, to fall for Dalia's cheap tricks.  If so, I'd like to see Dalia come up with something more clever that Tessa can't so easily get out of.  Maybe Dalia will start plotting against George so that he won't get any closer to her mom.  That would be good.  One thing is for sure, though:  we don't need another Noah-centric story.  Let's save those for a time when his character is less of a boring idiot to me.

Get It!

Finally we got to see another Suburgatory last Wednesday.  Now at its 13th episode, I can say that this show is working its way into my favorites from this fall.  However, there is little following for this show among the people that I know.  Again, you have a really rich cast of characters, but you also have a lot of interesting stories that, unlike a lot of shows that I watch, make me want to re-watch episodes.  It's a great feel-good show that also makes you laugh along the ride as you reach the "lesson" of the episode.  Last time, the lesson, I suppose, was that you shouldn't rush into sex with someone that you don't feel a real connection with.

George, being the concerned dad that he is, cannot get over finding the XL condoms in Tessa's room (which were left behind by Lisa in her Love Box).  Somehow he thinks the solution to getting h8s daughter distracted from sex is to surprise her with a little game night with her friends.  I'm not sure how George convinced Malik and Lisa to come to his house without a guarantee that Tessa would be there, but I suppose that deep, manly voice of him can command some level of trust that he knows what he is doing.  I thought it was funny that Lisa and Malik don't try too hard to leave after they figure out Tessa won't be joining them.  It was good for the audience, though, because those two and George make an excellent recipe for an awkward conversation pie.  My favorite line from their little game night was when Malik fist bumps Scott and says "Get it!" and George freaks out a bit:

What was that?  What did you just tell him to get?

As Malik was saying that line to Scott, I thought to myself that sounded bad, but I didn't expect George to comment like that--love it.  His character does not disappoint!  Later, Lisa informs George of this virginity calculator where one can determine when you will first do the deed using random information like your height and hair length.  This was not just another testament to the fact that Lisa is such a wonderfully deluded girl (she was so excited about having soda which she is denied at home!), but also gave us an opportunity to see a side of Malik that might have been previously unknown.  Malik tells us that his virginity will be lost at 60, but he is willing to wait and suggestively stares at Lisa.  I thought this was my imagination until Lisa tells Tessa later that she thinks Malik hit on her that night.  All right!  They would make a good couple, but I bet Lisa will be a bit resistive.  It's not like anyone else is knocking on her door--go for it Lisa!  Get it!!

I'm sad that Tessa and Scott broke up in this episode, but with his constant discussion of Africa and his proposal of sex with a little tent and a goat in his backyard, he was destined to get the boot.  I liked that she had something that Dalia wanted for once.  I wanted to see them fight more!  Well, with Dalia being such a vapid bitch, I'm sure another thing will come up where Tessa can get the upper hand.  I will say that Dalia is such a likeable teenage mean whore.  Most of the time these girls are just nasty demons, but Dalia is more ignorant than she is intentionally vicious, so you kinda have to love her.  And she is so stoned-faced, you gotta laugh. 

Another character you think you would hate, but you can't is Dalia's mother, Dallas.  She seems like a superficial, money-grubbing housewife, but she's a sweetheart.  And kudos to her for realizing that she's too good for her cheating husband.  Granted that Dallas and George definitely have something going on there, but she's at least not actively trying to sleep with him yet.  While she danced in her heels on the floor her two-timing husband won't let her walk on, we could see how powerful of a woman Dallas was.  I thought for one second, though, that Dalia was going to show emotion when she thought her parents were getting divorced, but good ol' Dalia stayed true to form when she bragged to her friends about all the double things she would enjoy once her parents were split.  Dalia, too, deserves a round of applause for being a materialistic girl, detached from worrisome matters like family ties.

Lastly, I just want to say how George's thunderous voice makes the majority of what he says sound hilarious!  I couldn't help but chuckle at him simply saying the words "ladies' glasses" and "bifocals" as if he were saying the most ridiculous words ever.  I could listen to him talk all day.

ABC better not cancel this lovely show!  It has everything I'm looking for.  Next time I hope that we get to see more development in the Malik-Lisa relationship and another situation that leads Tessa to battle Dalia.  Oh, and can we get Rex Lee's character in the next one?  I've loved him since Entourage, and he is a delight in Suburgatory.  I'm eagerly waiting by the TV!