Just Do It Online

Parks and Recreation, S05E16

Leslie wanted to keep a failing video store going by using the government's help, but her good intentions only made others want payouts too and turned the video store into an adult establishment. Ann forced April to hang out with her as friends in exchange for a vetenarian school letter of reccomendation.  Chris gave Tom some advice in order to test how well he'd be a father.

Leslie's attempt to save Videodome was amusing for three main reasons.  One was because the owner of said store was played by Jason Schwartzman. He was really oblivious to how his depressing attitude and niche-audience selection of goods were damaging his business. He didn't have all that much screen time, but he's a funny guy simply to look at.

Leslie also made an enemy out of Ron with her bailout plan, adding another interesting element.  He was so against her plans that he actually came to a town council meeting to speak against what she was doing. You hardly ever see him get so involved on his own, so I liked seeing his rare passion. Ron didn't have many good lines in this story, but Iiked when he spoke about Dennis without sparing his feelings:

This man is a failure. He is not up to snuff.  His business is failing, and you're bailing him out. 

It's funny how Dennis didn't make one sound or expression even that disagreed with Ron.  Maybe this was because he agreed with him wholehearted or that he was just terrified to argue with Ron.  Either way I liked how honest Ron was being at Dennis' expense.

The last part of the story that I loved was the random guy who kept aptly pointing out that video stores and the like were a bit outdated now that there are some many outlets available on the Internet. I liked how  he asked why would he bother to rent anything from Videodome when he was watching a movie for free on his phone.  My favorite line from this guy was when he spoke out against the guy from the hardware store after the random guy had already been kicked out before:  

[Store Owner] And people need places to buy tools. 
[Online Guy] Uh, you can just buy tools online.
[Leslie] Bailiff, why is he back in here?  How did you get back in here?

He cracked me up with his unsolicited comments and how he frustrated Leslie. 

It was weird that Leslie's plan caused Dennis to start renting porn videos.  He refused to sell Pixar films, but he had no problems supplying dirty wares.  Also, strange enough, the renewal of the store contributed to a porno about Leslie bailing out the store. It was funny in the bit we got see that Ron was played a black guy. Wow.

In Ann and April's story the only thing I really liked was when April felt awkward hearing about Ann's worries about Chris agreeing to be her sperm donor.  They started singing together like they were besties, and the icing on the cake was when Donna joined in too. They all were pretty good singers and that scene was adorable.

I didn't like the introduction of Jean-Ralphio's psycho twin sister who eventually became Tom's girlfriend.  She actually made her brother look ten times less annoying.  I was glad Tom chose to be firm with her even if it didn't calm her ass down.  Someone needed to at least try to stand up to her.  I just hope that Tom doesn't find himself in trouble messing with an unstable girl like that.  He could do better.

What I liked best was Chris taking up Tom as his " bag of flour " and how Tom had little clue that Chris was trying to parent him.  I loved when he first spoke to Tom and sat right next to him on the couch at the far end, despite all the other seating available:

[Chris] Tom, I have something to talk to you about.[Tom] Do we need to sit like this?

Chris had another funny moment when he told Ben about his uncertainty to Ann's request:

I am one hundred percent certain that I am zero percent sure what I'm going to do. 

 Finally, I loved when he talked about how he had failed Tom as his father:

If Tom were a bag of flour, that flour would never grow up to be a happy, well-adjusted loaf of bread.  Much less a bran muffin, which is the highest honor that flour can achieve.

Chris' test run of being a father was wonderful.  I wish that he could continue to look after Tom.  With Mona Lisa in his life, he could probably use the help.

This was an unexpectedly good episode.  I didn't think I would have enjoyed a story about Leslie trying to save a little business, but it was as good as Chris' story.  I enjoyed the guest star, Ron opposing her, and of course, the guy who wouldn't be quiet about how some businesses were irrelevant with the internet available.  Ann and April ended up being very cute when they got the chance to bond, especially when singing was involved.  Finally, Chris kept making me laugh with his numerous good lines and moments.  He was surprisingly a decent "flour" dad to Tom.  I sort wish that it were possible for Chris to adopt Tom, so their father-son relationship could go on.

Worse Than Hugo

Bob's Burgers, S03E11

Bob thought he had it made when Hugo quit his job to join the nudist community on the new nude beach until the new health inspector was threatening to shut him down unless he let him play his terrible music at his restaurant.  Louise, Tina, Gene, and Darryl worked together to sell kids from school looks at the nude beach from afar.

Once I saw that Hugo was going to be in this episode, I was ready to be really annoyed throughout.  Instead, I was happy to see Hugo get off Bob's ass and go find a new hobby besides nitpicking on Bob's restaurant.  Unfortunately, they only hire crazy people to work at the health department, I guess.  Tommy, with his horrible and sexual songs and pockets full of bagged rat crap was far worse than Hugo ever could be.  Sure Hugo needs to be punched in the face for making Bob take a seminar on how to clean his hands (count to a thousand while washing your hands?? Ridiculous!), but at least he didn't blackmail Bob.  It made me realize that Hugo is an ass, but at least he's an ass who respects the job he's doing.  In that respect, I guess I can't hate him as much anymore.  I still hate any story where he's going to keep coming around--he just won't get over his rivalry with Bob.

I did like that Tommy was played by Fred Armisen.  When he was singing those gross songs, it was slightly funnier in his voice than if it had been someone I didn't recognize.  However, I think that Fred's expressions and body language are a big part of his comedic genius, so as just a voice he wasn't as half as funny as he would have been.  But this is a cartoon, so what can you do?

Another thing that I liked was when Mort come to the restaurant, opened the door and heard Tommy for like a second, and then immediately closed the door and walked away.  I loved that he was that terrible that someone didn't even need to listen to him long enough to understand what the hell he was singing about.

I hated that there was a nude beach in this story because Bob got naked--eww!  I could overlook his weird-shaped body if he wasn't so damn hairy everywhere!  It made it worse that he was doing a bunch of different kind of events that were awkward to do like the human wheel barrel.   I guess it really shows how much Bob wanted to stay in business and get rid of Tommy if he was willing to push a guy around while having a close up view of his business like that.  The naked sumo match between him and Hugo was equally disgusting.  It was a good place for Bob to lose and throw in the towel.  No one should have to have that guy naked on top of them.

As for the kids, there's not much to say about their peeking business.  It's just nice that they didn't get in trouble for it and were able to keep kids interested in looking despite that all the people at the beach were old people that they initially didn't want to see.  It was also cool to have Aziz Ansari back on the show as Darryl, even if he didn't have a crucial part.  It lets me know that he can possibly pop up again for an additional appearance down the road.  I like the idea of him contributing to the shenanigans of Louise and company.

I would say that this episode was good in showing a different side of Hugo, but that side was his bare behind and I could live not seeing that again.  That goes double for Bob and his hairy ass.  The best thing about this episode was that there was minimum Linda.  There were a couple of guest stars, but they didn't really enhance the story that much.  However, I am hopeful now that we've seen Darryl for the second time that he'll be joining the kids again soon.  Any excuse to throw Aziz into the mix sounds good to me.

Tessa Follows In Her Mother's Footsteps

Suburgatory, S02E01

Tessa came home from a summer with her grandmother and expressed an interest in her mother's passion for singing.  Lisa blackmailed her parents about Ryan so that she could get special treatment in the family.  Noah and Dallas fought over Carmen, both wanting her to raise their kids.

I was really happy to see this show back on the air, but not incredibly impressed by the premiere.  I was a little disappointed that Eden was totally out of the picture, but then again I do like the possibility of George dating someone else (especially Dallas) more than his whirlwind relationship from last season.  I was a little interested in Tessa's desire to embrace the talents she might have gained from her mother, but I wish there was more she had learned during her summer about the mysterious woman.  The battle over Carmen was like a comedy relief from the slightly dramatic Tessa story, but not really more interesting than Lisa barely milking her one piece of control over her mother.  The latter story was also disappointing in how little changed as an end result.

I thought it was cute that Tessa wanted to be a little like her mother, even though I felt like George was threatened by the idea a little.  It did seem like she sort of wanted to cast aside his contributions to her being who she is, but then again, George has raised her most of her life, so it's impossible that any influence he has been upon her could be lost by her trying to mimic her mother a little.  The best part of the episode came from this story when Tessa was nearly about to give up her interest in music until George finally shared something about her mother and encouraged her to perform, despite whether she would be good or not.  And I think Tess was pretty good!  It took me a moment to notice that she was singing the theme song, but that was a little cool (since I do like the theme song a lot better than most other shows).  I hope that she continues to do something with singing or playing the guitar because I think it would be a good fit for Tessa, who already showed some talent in writing poetry.

I really wanted Lisa to take her mother for all she was worth with that bombshell of a secret under her belt!  She did try to get to have the solo in their family skit (or whatever that ridiculous prancing around in cat outfits was), which was basically popping out of a trashcan at the end.  Really?  I don't know if she got even an ounce of the "golden child" treatment that Ryan has been given over the years, and Lisa will never have such power over her mother again.  Or a very little chance of having it again.  I knew Shelia would eventually turn the tables on her daughter (because Lisa is nowhere as crafty as her mother), but I had hoped Lisa would really get to enjoy the ride while it lasted.  Her reign of power seemed so short that I felt like why did she even bother to bring it up?  In the end, everything went back to their normal, the potting shed was burned, and Lisa still wasn't doing the solo.  The only difference was that Lisa's parents know that she knows.  And I guess if Ryan ever finds out he's not a Shay by blood, it'll be Lisa's fault for sure.  Not sure Lisa understands how to really take full advantage of an opportunity.

Noah (especially) and Dallas fighting over Carmen was just stupid.  The only good part of it was that it seemed to affect Dalia enough that she felt like she could talk to Tessa about her concern over losing her nanny.  Of course, when she spoke to Tessa, she was both expressing her fondness for Carmen and putting Tessa down at the same time.  That's a talent.  But it was nice to see there was no change really in their relationship.  I would hate to see Dalia stop treating Tessa so badly--it's one of the funniest things.  As far as Carmen leaving Dallas, I don't know if that's really something I care about at this point.  I would think that she would be better suited for Noah, who seems to think it's okay to put a cup holder on his baby.  Before child services come (I doubt they do in Chatswin) I pray that Carmen actually does start to take care of that baby.  Little Opus' mother certainly doesn't give a damn since she's off on a book tour instead of raising her newborn.  These women in that town...

Not the best episode, but not bad enough that I would question watching this show anymore.  After all, it was certainly one of my favorite new shows from last season, so I hope that it can remain one of my favorites.  Lately, my favorites seem to be dropping like flies, so I'm trying to give things more of a chance.  I want to see Tessa singing a little more in the next couple of episodes!

Let's Get Roger Locked Up

American Dad, S08E01

After hearing Hayley singing at his attic lounge, Roger became dangerously obsessed with Hayley.  Stan wanted to buy a new car, but couldn't find anyone to pay him at least 15,000 dollars for his old car.

I just have to say that Roger is so insane.  Like, it's weird to be saying that after everything else he's done, but when he was targeting Hayley he outdid himself a little.  First of all, he shot her and still showed up in her hospital room to bring her the disgusting gift of Christina Aguilera's larynx, which he played like a kazoo!  Eww!  Then he proceeded to knock out Hayley and kidnap her.  It was really gross watching him cuddle up on her with no clothes (though he usually is naked when he's himself).  It just looked like he was humping her, although Roger has mentioned that he has no genitals (but how does he have all that sex?).  Well, I didn't think it would get much worse from there until he decided to take Jeff's skin.  Ugh...  Seeing him in Jeff's skin was so gross!  Roger really needs to go to a place for the criminally insane.  I often think that he will end up killing them all one day (like he tried to do in a different episode in a sort of spoof of that movie Alien or whatever).

 The side story where Stan was stubbornly trying to sell his car wasn't funny until the very end of it where the lady was trying to escape the lion and crashed the car.  It was sick, but in a funny way, how the lion pounced and attacked her while they were both on fire until they both burned into ash.  That's not how I expected Stan to get over his car not being worth what he wished it to be at all.  I'm thankful for that story even though it wasn't hilarious just to distract me from how creepy Roger was.

I liked this episode even though it was disturbing.  It's interesting that Roger can get even more insane than he already is and all it takes is for him to fall in love.  I'm glad, though, that he got over Hayley in the end (when it was sort of far too late by that time).  I also think it was great that they started their season with a story about Roger because whether it's funny or creepy, it's still much better than stories about the other characters.  I can't wait to see what horrible things Roger is going to do the rest of this season!

How Not To Get Rid Of A Man In A Wheelchair

The Cleveland Show, S03E19

Cleveland's suspicions that Donna was cheating on him turned out to be about half right.  She was trying to secretly let down her ex-boyfriend Maurice who had been in Iraq and thought he and Donna were still a couple.  After seeing that Maurice was in a wheelchair, Cleveland helped her lie until Maurice proposed to her.  Maurice stayed at their house, punishing them for their deceit by being a general nuisance.  They tried to appease him by giving him a parade in his honor, but it wasn't until Cleveland punched Maurice and treated him like a normal guy that Maurice forgave them and left.  Junior pretended to be Christian to win a girl's affection and had to compete with Hunter, another boy doing the same thing.  When they unintentionally sang about their deceit in front of Vanessa she was attracted to their "bad boy" ways and wanted to have sex with them both, to their horror.  Junior was saved from losing his virginity by a fire that Hunter started.

I think that Donna has had lots of opportunities to cheat on Cleveland, so the idea of her suddenly sending her husband off to have one now didn't make sense, so I couldn't agree with Cleveland's friends that her buttering him up with ham was to distract him from her cheating.  Cleveland, too, found it hard to believe that Donna was having an affair, but he had to go with what a typical man would think:

Then again, what kind of man would I be if I didn't automatically think the worst about a woman?

Because that line was funny, I couldn't get mad about Cleveland listening to his friends and accusing Donna.  He did a horrible job of tailing her, and later when he knew the truth and Maurice showed up, he did a horrible job of lying.  In fact, he had to make sure that he didn't forget the name he made up for himself, "Cleveson."  That terrible name did set up for some good jokes by his friends, however:

[Tim] Wow, I am so embarrassed.  I’ve been calling Cleveson, “Cleveland” for years.
[Lester] And I didn’t know he was married to his sister.  I approve.

I don't know which of their comments is stupider, but I liked that they were sucked into the lie better than Cleveland was himself (who forgot his own fake name).

I only felt bad for Maurice when he first found out about the lies and had a very pathetic and weepy exit out of the room, where he fell and had to eventually crawl.  However, I was glad that Cleveland got pissed at him and punched him.  Donna and Cleveland are bad people, but there was no reason they needed to be continually punished when they had already apologized.  I really liked Cleveland's statement about this:

We only lied to spare your feelings, and we apologized.  So either forgive us or don't. But stop being a dick.

True dat!  This story made a good point about people who walk on eggshells around people with disabilities.  We're all essentially people, so no one should be able to get a free card to be a jerk.  I'll admit it's hard not to be extra nice and forgiving to someone who can't function the same as yourself, but when someone is being an unnecessary dick, you need to be able to call them on it, regardless of what kind of person they are.

Junior's story wasn't that great.  I guess it's because it's not the first time that he has fallen for a beautiful girl that he ultimately won't get (I just assume).  I thought the song that the mission team choir had some clever lyrics, although the tune wasn't particularly pleasing.  I admired how they had a song that praised Jesus and God by using social media terms and technological trends like texting that teenagers would be interested in.  Because of that, I was less annoyed that I had endure another Seth MacFarlane world song (not to say that The Simpsons has come out with a good song in any recent years).  I also like Darren Criss' voice ever since I watched Glee (but have given up on since their last terrible Christmas special), so it couldn't be too angry about it.  Junior started singing too, to my dismay, but I liked that while he was having his moment, you could see Roger in the stained glass.  Nice touch.  When he stopped singing, I wondered to myself if he had done it out loud, and Junior immediately said the same thing to himself.  That was funnier than him being dumb enough to sing about a girl he liked right in front of her.

Junior and Hunter's duet about their plans to fight each other for Vanessa was cute (though I still didn't care for the lyrics) and funny just because it was stupid.  It was the stupidest when they continued to sing until Vanessa showed up and they had to be honest with her.  I didn't think that she would be so turned on by their deceit.  I was going to be happy for them that they got the girl they wanted after all, but the two were turned off by her sexual aggression.  I forgot that Junior wasn't ready for that yet (according to the episode with his teenage wife whom he couldn't sleep with) and Hunter seemed to be the same.  It was just funny to see two teenage boys crapping their pants because they girl they were after wanted to jump their bones--any other typical boy their age would have acted like they won the lottery.  I mean, Vanessa was a little intimidating, but for those two, that might have been the opportunity of a lifetime.  In the end, I'm glad that Junior got out of it and that he and Hunter went from being enemies to being friends.  I mean, they have a lot in common (both think it's a good idea to lie about their faith in order to date someone), so friendship seems like a more feasible conclusion than the two getting lucky with a girl.

This week we had a double-dose of this show, but I think the episode that preceded it was better than this one.  It lost points for having songs (even with Darren Criss' beautiful voice) and failing to utilize Rallo very much. After seeing that episode where Rallo was shining, it was hard to be satisfied when he only popped out for a random line or two.  I seriously think if they made it "The Rallo Show," it would be an even better show now that Cleveland isn't as half funny as he used to be on Family Guy.

Winston Wins My Heart By Cutting Down A Child

New Girl, S01E14

 Well, it's finally happened--I found an episode where I liked Winston.  For once, he wasn't just an afterthought on this show, offering a few almost funny lines from time to time and boring stories.   I thought it was a fluke the first time he got me to chuckle, but he was pretty consistently hilarious this time.

Before I get into Winston, I want to talk about Schmidt and Cece continuing seeing each other.  I was surprised that Cece is addicted to Schmidt, despite he is pretty repulsive.  The sex is obviously good between them, but when he was comparing himself to a river and her being a canoe, I wanted to gag a little.  Yet, somehow it failed to send her packing.  I wanted to feel bad for Schmidt, but his mouth wouldn't stop making me cheer for Cece to run far away.  I did feel a little for him when he had to stay in her car while she went to a party, but it soon went away.  I guess in the next episode they will announce their relationship to their friends.  As long as Schmidt doesn't run up the wall and give them way too much information about the nature of their sex as he did in the Chinese restaurant, he might have a chance to get approval, rather than incredulous protest, from the others.

Now onto Winston.  He had me grinning when he said he liked meeting the girls Schmidt brought home by pretending to be his downlo lover.  Oh, God, how I would like to see that!  But I was really laughing when he and Nick were talking about the meaning of the cactus Julia had sent to him.  Nick, obviously a person who over-analyzes things, thinks that the plants means that Julia wants to break up with him:

[Winston] Who told you that? Did the cactus tell you that? Is this one of those fortune-telling cactus?

Later, after Jess describes a bully problem in her class, Winston says that he used to be a bully as a kid.  Not a stretch at all.  He seems like that type, with his lack of emotions and need to compete with others.  Obviously he has grown as a person, but he still has that mean vibe about him.  That being said, I was pretty shocked in an amused way to see Winston leap out of his seat in order to look at the crescent moon outside.  While Jess questions why they are so excited about seeing it, Winston longingly looks into the sky and says that he hopes to live there one day.  Wow.  Where did that comes from?  It's the first time I've thought he was kinda cute besides the one time he bonded with a child at Schmidt's Christmas party.

Winston was also good as the support for both Jess and Nick in this episode.  Jess had broken a bitchy, evil student's robot arm after the little brat asked her several rude questions including why Jess' voice was so deep and why did she break up with her last boyfriend.  She needed Winston's help to fix it and all he brought were his "good scissors."  Ha.  With Nick, Julia did end up breaking up with him (finally--knew they wouldn't last, especially after Valentine's Day) because Nick's voicemails made her realize that was what she really wanted.  So Nick was in a very, very fragile state and needed a friend by his side.  Schmidt was too busy sneaking around with Cece, so Winston had to do.  Nick was so scary, it was hilarious.  He was way too cheerful and uncharacteristically positive that you knew he was going to explode with despair and possibly rage that no one wanted to be on the other side of.

This forced Winston to come to Jess' science fair at her school along with Nick.  It's interesting that two guys who definitely weren't there to see their own children were allowed to walk around, as crazy as they were being (Nick anyway).  The best thing that happens there is that Winston steps in to say what Jess can't say about how "difficult" the bratty student, Brianna, is:

[Winston] Your daughter sucks.  She is a demon seed, she is the spawn of Satan, and I do believe I speak for the entire human race when I say that people like her should not be building robots.

[Brianna's Mother #2] Who are you?

Applause!  I can't believe Jess didn't give him five for that.  Who cares about being professional; that girl is horrible!  She's obviously smart, so why does she need to act like an asshole?  Anyway, this is one of my favorite moments in New Girl so far.  It's right up there with the awkward threesome with Remy.

The last good thing Winston did in this episode was snatch his "good scissors" (what are they doing laying around for children to get??) from Nathaniel:

 Eh! Get my scissors outta your mouth! What is wrong with you??

No wonder the kids in class didn't like him.  I was happy that this boy, though, seemed to be free from being the class target, and Jess had become the point of ridicule.  I didn't care much for the youtube video Brianna had made of her, but I loved that Jess got further revenge on Brianna by making her sing with her in front of the class.  That'll teach her!  I hope that girl doesn't pop up in any more episodes, even though I want to see more of Jess at her job.  I feel like someone as child-like as her would have some interesting adventures with her students.

Oh, and Nick walking around with the cactus plant he had abused in his dazed-out, happy mode was wonderful.  He was even sleeping with it.  I kinda want him to keep that mangled plant for while.

Great episode.  The Valentine's Day one set my expectations low this time, so it was nice to be blown away for a change.  I knew this show couldn't disappoint me for too long!