It Wasn't Just A Calzone

Parks and Recreation, S05E12

Ann decided to have a child through a donation at a sperm bank, and Leslie tried to stop her before she let her child be fathered by someone of ill-repute.  Ben enlisted the helped of Ron, Chris, and Tom to sample food for the wedding.  April thought that the only way she could handle the public forums was by acting like Leslie as much as possible.

I wasn't on board with Ann's decision to have a child.  I don't think there's anything wrong with any woman going to a sperm bank when they are ready for that, but I don't believe Ann is ready.  Ann's a little all over the place, and I wouldn't even feel comfortable letting her babysit kids, even as good as she was with Diane's girls.  It's a good thing she has a friend like Leslie that has way too high expectations for her and isn't bothered by meddling in other people's business.

I don't remember Nick Kroll's previous appearance on the show, but it didn't take me long to see that his character is repulsive.  I can't believe that Ann was able to look past his "Douche" side and still take his sperm for her baby.  Ugh.  It was horrible that, thanks to Leslie, Ann was ridiculed on the radio about her personal business, but at least it helped her change her mind.  I'd much rather her have a baby by a total stranger than that guy.

My favorite story was about Ben's catering review council.  He basically gathered my three favorite guys.  Together these guys couldn't be more mismatched.  Ron and Chris are like opposites, and Tom is just on some psuedo cool level of his own.  There were so many good lines from the story, starting with Ron's reaction to getting a salad:

There's been a mistake.  You've accidentally given me the food that my food eats.

Then Tom delivered his opinion about the caters that was equally as funny:

[Tom] Cater number one's presentation was simple yet exhausting.  Number two's was subtle and provocative.  Like a coy Dutch woman guarding a dark secret.

[Ben] Nothing you're saying is helpful.

[Tom] But number three's told a story.  A story from a book I wouldn't read, but I would watch the movie of.

[Ben] That's nonsense.

The laughs kept coming when Ben described the mini calzones he sampled with excessive details as if they were some kind of magical, new dish he had never had before.  I loved Ron and Chris' responses to that:

[Ron] It was a calzone.

[Chris] It was literally just a small calzone.

I like that Ben's calzones are kind of like Leslie's waffles.  Except even with food poisoning I doubt she would ever give them up.

The last line I liked was when Ron was talking about the condition of his food poisoning:

I did not sleep one for second last night.  And I cracked the bottom of the toilet bowl.

It's ironic that the one food that Tom avoided was the one that made them all sick.  Especially because his reasoning for not eating it was that he doesn't eat food that needs to be dipped.  Apparently it's above him to put sauce on things.  Wow.

In April's story, I loved that it was Andy who tricked April into seeing that she didn't need to be Leslie to have a successful forum--she just needed to be herself.  He's a great husband.  My favorite line from the story was when April was herself again and she dealt with Harris:

[Harris] Yeah, I wanted to talk more about that topless park idea that a local hero brought up yesterday.

[April] Yeah, there's not going to be a topless park, Harris.  Nobody wants your creepy, stoner eyes staring at them while they're enjoying a park, OK?  Stop being gross.

What made that even greater was that the entire forum clapped to hear April tell that guy how it was.  April's the greatest.

This was a good episode.  I wish that Leslie and Ann's story was a little funnier.  It was just sort of stupid to see Ann wasting her time on something that would be big mistake.  She's really lucky she has Leslie to help her see the light.  I really loved the guys trying out the caters.  Ben needs to assemble the same team to do something else.  It doesn't matter what--it would be hilarious.  April is also hilarious when she is herself.  Even to pacify idiots for her job, I don't see why she would want to be anyone but her tell-it-like-it-is self.