It Wasn't Just A Calzone

Parks and Recreation, S05E12

Ann decided to have a child through a donation at a sperm bank, and Leslie tried to stop her before she let her child be fathered by someone of ill-repute.  Ben enlisted the helped of Ron, Chris, and Tom to sample food for the wedding.  April thought that the only way she could handle the public forums was by acting like Leslie as much as possible.

I wasn't on board with Ann's decision to have a child.  I don't think there's anything wrong with any woman going to a sperm bank when they are ready for that, but I don't believe Ann is ready.  Ann's a little all over the place, and I wouldn't even feel comfortable letting her babysit kids, even as good as she was with Diane's girls.  It's a good thing she has a friend like Leslie that has way too high expectations for her and isn't bothered by meddling in other people's business.

I don't remember Nick Kroll's previous appearance on the show, but it didn't take me long to see that his character is repulsive.  I can't believe that Ann was able to look past his "Douche" side and still take his sperm for her baby.  Ugh.  It was horrible that, thanks to Leslie, Ann was ridiculed on the radio about her personal business, but at least it helped her change her mind.  I'd much rather her have a baby by a total stranger than that guy.

My favorite story was about Ben's catering review council.  He basically gathered my three favorite guys.  Together these guys couldn't be more mismatched.  Ron and Chris are like opposites, and Tom is just on some psuedo cool level of his own.  There were so many good lines from the story, starting with Ron's reaction to getting a salad:

There's been a mistake.  You've accidentally given me the food that my food eats.

Then Tom delivered his opinion about the caters that was equally as funny:

[Tom] Cater number one's presentation was simple yet exhausting.  Number two's was subtle and provocative.  Like a coy Dutch woman guarding a dark secret.

[Ben] Nothing you're saying is helpful.

[Tom] But number three's told a story.  A story from a book I wouldn't read, but I would watch the movie of.

[Ben] That's nonsense.

The laughs kept coming when Ben described the mini calzones he sampled with excessive details as if they were some kind of magical, new dish he had never had before.  I loved Ron and Chris' responses to that:

[Ron] It was a calzone.

[Chris] It was literally just a small calzone.

I like that Ben's calzones are kind of like Leslie's waffles.  Except even with food poisoning I doubt she would ever give them up.

The last line I liked was when Ron was talking about the condition of his food poisoning:

I did not sleep one for second last night.  And I cracked the bottom of the toilet bowl.

It's ironic that the one food that Tom avoided was the one that made them all sick.  Especially because his reasoning for not eating it was that he doesn't eat food that needs to be dipped.  Apparently it's above him to put sauce on things.  Wow.

In April's story, I loved that it was Andy who tricked April into seeing that she didn't need to be Leslie to have a successful forum--she just needed to be herself.  He's a great husband.  My favorite line from the story was when April was herself again and she dealt with Harris:

[Harris] Yeah, I wanted to talk more about that topless park idea that a local hero brought up yesterday.

[April] Yeah, there's not going to be a topless park, Harris.  Nobody wants your creepy, stoner eyes staring at them while they're enjoying a park, OK?  Stop being gross.

What made that even greater was that the entire forum clapped to hear April tell that guy how it was.  April's the greatest.

This was a good episode.  I wish that Leslie and Ann's story was a little funnier.  It was just sort of stupid to see Ann wasting her time on something that would be big mistake.  She's really lucky she has Leslie to help her see the light.  I really loved the guys trying out the caters.  Ben needs to assemble the same team to do something else.  It doesn't matter what--it would be hilarious.  April is also hilarious when she is herself.  Even to pacify idiots for her job, I don't see why she would want to be anyone but her tell-it-like-it-is self.

Worst Idea Ever

The Simpsons, S24E03

Marge discovered that her displeasure about a car was due to the fact that she didn't want to stop having children.  Homer was against the idea, but came around to the idea before he and Marge got to the sperm bank where Homer had donated to in the past.  Bart enlisted the help of Lisa's old boyfriends and others to help him find out where Lisa was going off in secret.

I hope I wasn't the only one horrified by the previews of this episode where they let viewers know that it was possible that Maggie would be replaced as the Simpsons youngest child.  I could deal with Patty being openly gay or Flanders being married to Mrs. Krabapple, but there's no way I could sit back and enjoy them expanding the Simpsons clan like that.  That would be the biggest slap in the face ever.  I don't think I could accept another person in that family.  Their roles are too set in for another character to come in and mess up the dynamic.

Luckily, it was just a scare.  After seeing the wall of ugly and disturbing Homer offspring by strangers, Marge and Homer agreed that it was a bad idea.  Man, that really would have been the straw that broke the camel's back for me.  I've being lenient with this show because it's one of my lifetime favorites, but I couldn't accept baby number four under any circumstances (it'd be like Itchy and Scratchy getting Poochie that one time).

There wasn't anything too funny in either story and it was entirely because I was terrified that Marge and Homer were gonna get pregnant in the end.  Some things I liked, though, included when Bart got the help of Nelson, Ralph, and Milhouse to spy on Lisa.  It was a little funny to see a collection of her past boyfriends like that.  Which leads me to another part that wasn't exactly great, but memorable because it was creepy: Father Mike's appearance.  That was freaky to see that priest approaching them singing "tura lura lural."  It was like he was coming to murder them (remember how scaring the kids with that scary story?)!  What was up with that??  Nelson was also kinda cute in his disguise in that scene, but I quickly forgot about that when Father Mike came strolling down the street.  I also liked when Otto walked out of the bus after Bart and Milhouse did, even though the bus was still in motion.

Nothing else was really memorable, but I did wonder why Homer claimed that he bought Marge's necklace with some of his sperm bank money.  I remember clearly that Marge said that the necklace was a family heirloom and she had a drawer full of them in one episode.  So I was a little bothered by that. 

Glad that the unspeakable didn't happen in this episode.  That really would have been the kiss of death for this show!  I don't even like too much that they led us to believe it could have happened in the first place.  At this stage of The Simpsons, they can't afford to be using such horrible ideas.