Bart's Not Meant To Have A Girlfriend

The Simpsons, S24E12

Bart didn't have any idea of how neglectful he was being of his girlfriend who was finally back in town.  Despite all the signs, Bart was dumped and later sent out of the house with Homer when the two upset Marge.  Finally the severity of the situation dawned on Bart and he and Homer arranged a grand gesture for the ladies in their life at the bachelor apartments.

It was a surprise to see Zooey Deschanel back on the show in what seems so soon.  I felt like we closed the chapter on the relationship between Mary and Bart in New York, but apparently not.  It's evident that Bart is nowhere ready to have a girlfriend since his dating history has been about the same throughout the years.  It was a little sad to watch Bart show once again that he doesn't know what to do with a girl he likes (with reason, as he is just a kid).  I kept hoping that Bart would come to his senses before it was too late, but I guess he has indeed taken after Homer and only notices he's fallen off the cliff when he's already hit the ground.

It was almost funny that Marge tossed Bart and Homer out of the house when they were acting like thoughtless men, but it didn't amount to much.  It was more creepy and pathetic that they were in this apartment complex with other guys who didn't know how to keep their women happy.  I did find one thing that made me laugh before the story ended, but it hardly made up for the story on a whole being a bit depressing.

This was when they were watching the movie "Love, Indubitably" and Snape from Harry Potter popped out randomly to say:

Love is more powerful than all my magic.

That really caught me off guard.  Even for them to be spoof Love Actually that was so ridiculous.  It's strangly one of my favorite parts from this season so far.

I'm sort of glad that Bart didn't end up with Mary in the end.  It wouldn't have made any sense otherwise.  Bart doesn't appreciate her, and he just never will.  I don't think Bart is capable of loving a girl right or smart enough to understand when someone isn't happy with him.  Mary would have been a moron not to walk off with another boy.  I felt bad for Bart, though, but at least he could still stalk her online.

Oh, I did also like Mary's song about Bart after they broke up.  The lyrics were really hurtful to Bart, but I liked the samba beat to it and Zooey has always had a beautiful singing voice.  It doesn't have the charm of the songs heard earlier in this show's history, but I feel like if I hear the song enough times it's going to grow on me (like many of their songs have).

Lastly, I thought it was cute that Bart was dressed up like Woody Allen, I guess.  Then at the end Bart didn't even know who he was, at least not in his most famous capacity.  That joke wasn't too bad--it made Bart's outfit and narration throughout the episode more ironic.

This episode was too downbeat for my tastes.  I don't really want to see Bart have his heart crushed whether it's his fault or not.  There weren't any saving graces for this story even with the hilarious Snape bit and Zooey's song.  If I had to put a positive spin on it, I think I can say this is the real end of the Mary and Bart story.  It would be torture to see Bart mess things up with her for a fourth time.

Spoiler Alert: They Don't Want You To Move In

Big Bang Theory, S06E15

Leonard got fed up with the way Sheldon treats him and blindsided Penny with the proposal that they should move in together.  Sheldon also was surprised when Amy suggested she take Leonard's place.  Neither Penny nor Sheldon knew how to explain to their partners that they didn't want them to move in.  Howard asked Raj to check in on his mother, and Raj unknowingly began to fall into Mrs. Wolowitz's scheme to keep Raj there forever.

I wanted to clap when Leonard took a stand against Sheldon and threw that damn roommate agreement into the trashcan.  It is a little extreme to move out because someone ruined a book for you (as infuriating as that would be), but I think Leonard was validated because Sheldon feels it's all right to call him womanly because he drinks too much soy milk.  The bottom line is that Sheldon doesn't have much respect for Leonard, and someone who didn't care for Sheldon as much as Leonard does would have left or murdered Sheldon a long time ago.  I liked when he called Sheldon a "crazy bastard," but that victory was bittersweet because Sheldon threw another Harry Potter spoiler at him.

I knew that Penny wouldn't leap at the idea of moving in with Leonard, but I still wished that she could warm up to the idea.  It wasn't fair of Leonard to sort of force his way into her apartment like he did, but then again, there wasn't a real reason for her not to want to move in with him.  It's not as if she has any moral objections with Leonard living under her roof--it's definitely an intimacy issue.  Penny obviously doesn't want to do anything that suggests that she's moving forward with her relationship with Leonard.  And why would she?  It's taken her forever to tell him that she loves him!  Moving in would probably take another five years.

What I didn't know was that Sheldon would react just like Penny when Amy suggested that she would be his perfect roommate.  I absolutely loved how tongue-tied he was when Amy presented him a sound argument why there was no reason she shouldn't be able to satisfy his needs as a roommate.  She is such a blessing to this show.  Without her, I don't know if Sheldon would as quickly realized that he needed Leonard as his roommate.

Things got even better when Sheldon just couldn't take it anymore and told Amy that they couldn't live together.  Thanks to Sheldon not coming up with a good enough reason, Amy snapped at him.  I loved her telling him, "What the hell, Sheldon?!"  Her going off on him was overdue, for sure.  I haven't even realized that it's been two years.  Two years listening to his restrictions like no lip gloss.  Her catering to his every whim and then getting the treatment like her presence isn't appreciated is so wrong.  But it is Sheldon and you can't expect him to love the idea of living with his girlfriend.  Took him long enough to even embrace the idea of dating someone.

My favorite line came when all the lies surfaced and Sheldon (like the bastard he is) tried to blame his problems on someone else, but Penny wasn't letting it go down like that.  I loved when Amy found out that Sheldon just didn't want to live with her at all and tried to make Penny his scapegoat:

[Amy] You're a coward.

[Sheldon] Well, the evidence does support that.

Even in the end, Sheldon could not come up with an agrument to make himself not look like an asshole.  Great ending.  I would have liked to see Sheldon and Amy living together, but not so much that I'd want to see Leonard and Penny doing so.  Penny would probably break up with Leonard again if they did.

The only thing I can say about Raj's story is that I feel bad that he ended up trapped by Howard's mom.  On the other hand, I was sort of expecting that Raj might end up sleeping with Howard's mom because they're both lonely, single people.  I guess it's good that didn't happen.  It was much funnier to see him in a sort of Misery type situation, which Howard just shrugged his shoulders at.  I liked when Raj wondered how Howard doesn't slip out of his bed with silk pajamas and satin sheets.  Besides that, I only wonder if Raj will still be fighting to escape through windows and such in the next episode.  Poor Raj.  He can't get a girlfriend, but he can be forced to be someone's replacement son.

I really liked this episode.  Leonard fought back against Sheldon, even though it led him to see that Penny didn't really want to take their relationship to the next level.  The best part, of course, was that Sheldon got to live with Amy for a second.  That gave Amy the wonderful opportunity to come down on the way that Sheldon treats her as well.  There's nothing like seeing Sheldon being totally in the wrong to the point he is pretty speechless.  Raj, as desperate as he may seem for companionship, doesn't quite deserve to be held captive by someone's mother.  He better be out of that predicament come next Thursday.

Ted Dates A "Gossip Girl"

How I Met Your Mother, S08E14

Ted was dating a much younger girl that he couldn't seem to connect with, but Barney urged him to sleep with her anyway so he could live vicariously through Ted.  Robin realized that with her engagement ring on she lost the privilege of free stuff and attention from men.  Marshall continued to wear a leather bracelet that he was allergic to so he could dress according to Lily's fantasy.

I have to say that Ted dating a younger girl was much more interesting (or just interesting at all) because the actress playing her was from Gossip Girl.  Even though Ted looked pathetic and desperate dating someone he had nothing in common with, I just liked seeing her so into Ted.  I'm not sure why she would think he was like pushing 70 or 80, but it was sort of funny to think of someone as cute as her flirting with him.  It just seemed so unlikely even if she was into "hot grandpas" or something.   Her turning out to be Barney's half-sister was just a bonus, I guess.  Mostly because it made Ted's one night stand a little more significant.

It makes sense that Barney would want Ted to sleep with girls that he could never touch again, but it was still sort of creepy.  Luckily, after the first proxy bang turned out to be his sister, Barney was pretty much cured of that idea.  Otherwise, I could see this going on forever and Barney trying to convince Ted to do more and more depraved things like Barney was known for.  However, since Ted had suggested he was still seeing some other little girl in the end, I guess he didn't need Barney to keep him on that path at all.

Robin's "problem" was mildly entertaining.  After showing us this ridiculous song and dance number about how she receives free stuff all the time for being "beautiful," it was a nice contrast to see her being invisible.  Also, it was interesting that she was willing to learn to pay for everything as long as it wasn't alcohol.  Apparently that was taking it too far.  I liked that she accepted that it was far better to just have eyes for Barney than to get free stuff, especially when Barney could fetch her a drink any time she wanted.  The best thing about Robin's story was when Marshall was explaining her invisibility in Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter terms, and Robin wasn't getting it.  She respectively called the first explanation tailored for "nerds" and the second for "virgins."  I don't know why someone who was a cheesy Canadian pop star thinks she is so high on the cool scale.  Please.

I could have done without Marshall and Lily's little thing about the bracelet.  Although, it's sort of funny that Marshall was turned on by Lily being in mom jeans and the fantasy of her being a typical mom.  That's so Marshall.

I guess I liked this episode in terms of Barney and Robin getting used to the idea of being unavailable.  It's not the first time Barney's been engaged, but I suppose it's the first time he's felt like it's a sure thing, so I can see him needing to go through a process before becoming a married man.  Ted needs to stop wasting his time with little girls.  I say that, but he is less annoying when he's dating for fun than when he's moping around because he's failed to find his soul mate.  Still, since we know that anyone he's seeing up until the wedding is just a pitstop on the way to his wife, his dating life seems less appealing to watch.  Next time, I just wish they would skip ahead a few months to where the wedding is just around the corner.  I'm way too eager to get a glimpse of this mystery woman.

Stone Cold Slytherin

How I Met Your Mother, S08E13

Barney had a hard time asking Robin's father for permission to marry her.  Robin was shocked that her father was not only more relaxed and fun, but had gotten married without telling her.  Ted and Lily fought over whether Barney and Robin should have a DJ or a band for the wedding.

This isn't much related to the story, but I felt like Robin was recovering from a cold the whole time and it sort of distracted me.  I mean, she didn't sound like a frog or anything, but she definitely sounded like she might need to clear her throat or something.  Must be difficult to be sick when you have to use your voice constantly.

Anyway, I might have never noticed how funny Robin's father was until now.  He was definitely my favorite part of the whole episode.  Before he even showed up Ted and Marshall were saying such funny things about him:

[Ted] Dude’s a stone cold Slytherin.
[Marshall] He always looks like he just came from slapping some guy tied to a chair in a back room.

I don't even like Harry Potter and Ted's line still has been chuckling to myself.  They set me up to expect to see some really scary guy appearing (I had forgotten what the man looks like), and Robin's dad didn't disappoint.

I loved his hard, intense expressions, especially when he was looking at Barney.  Barney's not exactly the bravest guy around, but I still liked seeing him sweat in the presence of Robin's dad.  Barney didn't look that good with dark hair, but it was really funny that he felt the need to do that after Robin's dad evaluated Barney's appearance:

This is Barney?  This man is blond.  Grown men are not blond.

Of all the things you could find wrong with Barney, that would be at the end of my list.  If he's bothered by just the surface of Barney, he's going to have a field day with what's underneath that blonde hair and expensive suits.

I wonder how, as terrified as Barney was of his future father-in-law, he was able to get the man to apologize to Robin?  Maybe now that he's married to someone like Carol, he's able to access some of those feelings that he's neglected all those years he raised Robin.  I thought they might say what Barney did, but that was left up to our imaginations.

I was also wondering why Ted was so set on a DJ throughout the episode.  I knew what Lily's deal was--she just wanted to be part of the planning and show that she knew what was best for the wedding.  I don't know why I didn't think it was because he was still stuck up on Robin.  For the love of everything, Ted--let it go.  I get that his love for Robin is deep, but he really looks so damn pathetic.  I believed him when he had accepted that Robin wouldn't be his and had really let her go.  Instead he was just fooling everyone, even himself.  Come on, Ted.  When are you gonna pick yourself up and stop grasping at straws?

There was a glimmer of hope in Ted's ridiculous battle for the DJ--they revealed that Ted would finally meet his future wife at Robin and Barney's wedding.  She'll be the bassist in the band, and we even got a sneak peek at her arm.  It's frustrating that this fated meeting is further down the road, but at least we know it's semi-soon.  We most likely won't have to wait another season to find out at least what she looks like.  There will be plenty of stories left once he does meet her because just because they met doesn't mean they'll fall in love in a second.  Especially with Ted, I think it'll take a lot before any woman decides to spend a lifetime with him.  He's a mess and even with the girl of his dreams, that'll never change.

The part where Marshall got "confetti" all over his face was so gross, but a little funny.  I would have vomited to see what actually flew out of little Marvin's behind, so I'm glad they had a cute way of conveying that.  I'm just glad that something came out of Marshall and Lily complaining about Marvin being constipated.  I just didn't think it was going to be the confetti explosion in Marshall's face.

This episode wouldn't have been half as good if Robin's father wasn't in it.  I couldn't stop laughing at his cold, dead-serious stares at everyone, especially Barney.  As for Ted, I just felt bad for him as usual that he can't commit to the things he's resolved to do or feel.  I think he's had more than enough time to get over Robin and truly be happy for Barbin finally becoming a thing.  Hurry up and get on the Barbin train, Ted!

Is Jane A Warlock?

Happy Endings, S03E02

Penny tried to buy a car without having Jane interfere too much.  Max showed Brad how to live Brad's old life in Max's no-money style.  Alex and Dave looked at apartments together.

This episode was okay.  I think what I liked best was that Jane got to be her normal aggressive self in this episode.  This time she was a no-prisoners negotiator for a car purchase.  More than that, I really loved how Jane kept magically moving from place to place and Penny wondering if she was a witch or warlock.  I can understand that Penny might have wanted to do something on her own (and she ultimately did),  but I would have just let Jane do her thing.  It's amazing how well she could predict all the moves of the dealership down to the meager cup of water offered to them.  She just couldn't predict that Penny's seemingly bumbling moves (like walking straight through a glass wall) were just a ploy to get a good price.

At the very end, I also like how coolly she interacted with the "Car Czar."  Who walks around with not just your salary offer, but your counteroffer to someone rejecting your salary offer?  Damn!  She still manages to surprise me with how insanely prepared she is.  She just can't be beat.  But I wonder if she really is going to go work for that guy, or was that just a gag at the end?

I thought that Max taking Brad around for the day was cute, but not entirely funny.  Them going to random meetings for free food was pretty good, but the best part of that story was when Max had a substitute for Brad's running trainer.  I loved seeing Max slap a pretzel out of a guy's hand and punch him in the face before running off.  That takes balls and insanity.  I respect that Max may be a bum, but at least he's not a coward.  Also, he did that for Brad, so he's not afraid to get the shit beat out of him for someone he loves.

Alex and Dave...   I feel like a broken record, but they just suck.  I was already bored by the idea of them moving in together, but I was just angry to see them wasting a real estate agent's time by coming up with the worst excuses ever to reject every good apartment that she had shown them.  They were being assholes.  Indecisive assholes.  Luckily, that lady tore them a new one when they tried one last time to make up a reason not to take the apartment.  I had hoped they would come clean with their feelings about being committed to each other, but they just took the place anyway.  Ugh.  Maybe if they had done the right thing and were honest, I could have hated them a little less.  Now I have to watch them pretend they are loving living together when they're already miserable.  Not excited to see all that.

I will mention a few lines that were pretty good in this episode.  The first was from Max when he was tasting the brunch food Jane made:

You go, girl! [tastes the food and spits it out] You go to hell, girl!

 The other that I thought was memorable was when Jane was for the second time trying to appeal to Penny's love of teen fantasy novels to motivate her:

[Jane] Must be strong. Like Hermione in the Harry Potter books.
[Penny] You read those?
[Jane] Dorks.

This one I'd actually like to use on someone because I'd enjoy teasing them (I'm not much of a Harry Potter fan).

Lastly, I sort of liked their group costume.  I mean, it was original, at least.  And sort of cute.  It was just sad that they couldn't get out the damn door.  But still, it's a lot better than some of the costumes I've seen for other Halloween stories lately.

Again, I wasn't too thrilled with this episode, but I do feel like there's some hope for me to get pumped about this show again.  Maybe if Dave and Alex get their act together, I'll be able to remember how I love the others again and just be enjoying the laughs.  I'm tired already of groaning at the two of them as things are now.

BBall Battle

Big Bang Theory, S05E17

Wow, I have to admit that Big Bang has been pretty good lately.  This week's episode was probably one of my favorites.  The two stories were about Sheldon and Kripke fighting over an office and Penny being unable to tell Amy that she didn't like her gift.  Usually I would hate stories that focused too much on Sheldon and Penny, but these were too funny to let their usual character annoyances bother me.

First I'll talk about Penny's problem.  Amy gets her a little something, and it's no surprise that it's more than a little something.  In fact, it's a $3000 portrait of the two of them.  And it's huge.  She has no choice but to put it up in her apartment to spare Amy's feelings, but when she talks to Bernadette, she realizes she has to come clean about it or hide the painting after Amy leaves each time.  I liked that Penny tried to use Bernadette as an excuse why she couldn't hang it up.  Her idea was that Bernadette would be jealous.  Bernadette quickly and smartly refused the idea, afraid that Amy might get her one.  Oo.  That is a serious fear.  Especially since the portrait makes Penny look like a transvestite, according to Bernadette.

I knew it wouldn't take long for Amy to discover that Penny hated it, but I was surprised how quickly she grabbed her giant portrait and ran back to her apartment.  Penny is a horrible liar.  Amy wouldn't have had to find out why she took down their portrait, if only she used a fraction of her brain.  Back at Amy's apartment, Penny fails to nicely let Amy know her true feelings and instead cops out and makes Bernadette the scapegoat anyway!  Amy falls for this lie, but thankfully since Penny is being kinda evil to throw Bernadette into the equation, Amy doesn't give a damn about Bernadette's feelings.  Wow.  She really does love Penny.  I think that Penny is lucky to have Amy, despite that she is a little over-enthusiastic.  And pretty creepy (who commissions a naked picture of yourself and your best friend!).  When push comes to shove, I'm pretty sure that Amy would rush to her side and help her out when she needed it.  When it comes to girlfriends, you have to have someone like that.

Now onto the main story about Sheldon and Kripke.  You gotta love Kripke with his Elmer Fudd-sounding self.  He's one of the few scientists at their university who doesn't seem like the biggest nerd on the planet. And he's hardly intimidated by Sheldon and refuses to let him have the Rothman office just because he claimed seniority.  They later go to the president while he was in the bathroom.  The president didn't give a damn about their squabble.  So they had no choice but to battle it out themselves.

Sheldon was being his usual insane self by proclaiming that if Kripke didn't listen to reason and let him have the office, he would poison his tea.  Good God!  Do you need to murder someone just to get an office of your own??  He really is like a step away from being mad scientist, causing havoc to all of the innocent townspeople.  They eventually settle on a contest where they are both equally disadvantaged: sports.  For some reason, I would have thought that Kripke was a little more athletic.  This episode removed any idea of that for me.

Leonard takes them to play basketball.  They are the worst players ever!  Not only do they cower away from the ball when Leonard first passes it to them, but they couldn't put the ball in the basket if the basket was on the ground and 1 foot away from them!  I was laughing pretty much the entire time, but my favorite part was when Kripke dribbles across the court and then straight into the wall:

Time.  Ran out of room.

LOL!  Thankfully, after they are all sweaty from their fumbling around, Leonard suggests that the person who bounces the ball the highest in the air will win.  Sheldon manages to win that.  As silly as the outcome of their battle is, I doubt anyone would dare try to overturn the results.  That was more than enough to declare Sheldon the winner after their horrible basketball playing.

To my delight, karma had plans for Sheldon.  His new office was, in fact, horrible.  We knew this as soon as we saw the ex-employee Rothman standing naked behind Sheldon's door when he first came in.  Of all the problems that Sheldon described from the room, including a mysterious hole, uncontrollable temperature, and vibrations from the geology lab above, my favorite complaint was the one he had with the mockingbird trying to imitate the song of a wind chime.  According to Sheldon, the bird was out of tune and was intentionally mocking him.  God, he is a nutcase!  But he is too stubborn with all of these problems to give up the office to Kripke and move back in with Raj.

Speaking of Raj, who didn't have much of a role in this episode, it was funny how he admired the naked Rothman at the beginning of the episode.  I was expecting him to say something to support the homosexuality he sometimes gives off, but he was concentrated on the hat.  Oh, Raj.  And he's such a dork to order a Harry Potter wand on Ebay!  It turned out to be just a stick, but he eventually accepted it because it had numbers inscribed on it as if it were a real product.  He's an idiot, but I love him.

Leonard, too, had a backseat role this time, but I liked that in the end of the episode he took a picture of Sheldon with his head stuck in the wall instead of going to get help for him.  He's a nice guy because I would have kicked Sheldon in his ass and pushed him further in there.  Or tossed something on him that would have made him freak out (because he's a germaphobe).  The possibilities were endless.

Great job this week, Big Bang!  For a secondary show of mine, it's nice to see an episode of caliber of one of my primary ones.