What Really Happened?

How I Met Your Mother, S08E17

Ted told his friends about the last time he saw the Captain after receiving a call from him that Ted felt was angry.  Robin retold the story, revealing that Ted's version was skewed, but Lily finally told the real story and proved that Robin also was fuzzy about the details of that night.

I wasn't sure why they had brought the Captain back into picture until the end, but I was thrilled to see him.  I love how he frightens the hell out of Ted and the other guys.  My favorite part, of course, was when Ted replayed the message for Marshall and Barney and each time he replayed it, the Captain's tone and overall image kept getting darker and more foreboding.  Ted really turned a simple message to call him back into the beginning of a murder plot.

I also liked that Ted's story wasn't true at all, but I should have known.  The Captain doesn't seem like the type to rudely end someone's sentences and pull out a harpoon at someone.  When we saw the Captain and Ted together in other episodes it was just Ted imagining all the "terrifying" things that the Captain was trying to do to him.  I should have known that Ted was lying or something.  I wouldn't have guessed that he was high off his mind, though.

I also wouldn't have guessed that Robin was drunk as hell at the gallery either.  I mean, she's used to having guys hit on her, so I could believe that the Captain came onto her.  I don't know about him lying all seductively on his bed in her story, though.  That should have been a clue to me that her story was a little less than true.

The surprises kept rolling in when it was revealed that the one that the Captain was interested in was Lily.  He clearly knew that she was married, so it made me confused (I guess I thought that Robin's story was just her mistaking herself for Lily).  I liked that it wasn't obvious that Lily had stolen an ashtray from him year ago because he belittled her opinion in art because she was a kindergarten teacher.  It still didn't all tie together until Lily started talking about how she regretted never doing anything with art in her life.  The Captain had reminded her of that and even a year later it was still a sore spot for Lily.  I started to feel for her, even though she has a pretty good life with a great husband and an adorable son.  I was happily surprised that Lily didn't have to put aside her dream because the Captain was going to give her a taste of it, possibly, with his job offer.  I would have sooner believed that the Captain was about to harpoon Ted than think he was going to ask her to work for him.

I liked this episode.  It was funny to see the Captain through Ted's terrified eyes.  I don't think I could ever get sick of Ted imagining the worst of him.  It was also interesting that the different versions of that night at the art gallery kept you wondering what the real story was.  Once we found out that it was all about Lily, it made all the storytelling seem worthwhile.  Especially because the Captain ended up giving Lily a way to enjoy her dream again.  Lately, we've been concentrating on the joy of Marvin and we've neglected that Lily might want more out of her life than a wonderful family.  I'm glad we'll get to see her expand her horizons, and the Captain should prove to be a very entertaining boss for her.

It Takes Crazy To End It All

How I Met Your Mother, S08E16

Ted claimed that he was finally going to breakup with Jeanette after his friends continued to tell him she was too crazy for his own good, but his cowardliness to do so resulted in Jeanette locking herself in his room and destroying his stuff.  Robin avoided holding Marvin, and when left alone with Marvin for the first time, Robin took years to tell Lily about the iffy events that happened while Lily was gone.

Jeanette might indeed have a screw loose like Barney teased, but her maniac style is starting to grow on me.  I'm also super-happy that she is the last random girl we will have to see before Ted finds the girl of his dreams.  That makes me love Jeanette a whole lot more because she's the one who's going to end Ted's streak of dating pointlessly.  After all of the other failures in his love life that will make her one of my favorite girls that Ted's been involved with, no matter how much trouble she gives him.

What I liked best about this story was when Ted left his apartment and asked Barney and Marshall not to let Jeanette in.  As soon as he left, Jeanette was at the door and they played this dramatic sound.  I loved that Marshall screamed and closed the door on her.  Then it was made even better when Barney opened the door, they played the dramatic noise again, and Barney screamed too before shutting the door.  It was like the start of a slasher movie before she murders them all.

I also like that Marshall and Barney were just sitting around in the apartment acting as if Jeanette wasn't wrecking Ted's room when Ted got back.  They started off saying that they were sure she had left after they let her in and as more sounds of things getting broken were heard, Marshall and Barney changed their story.  I liked that they were just as terrified of her in the house as Ted was.  And when they found out she was a cop, they decided on their own that Jeanette now owned Ted's apartment.  Such great, brave friends they are.

Another good point was that Lily told Ted that Jeanette was what he needed because Ted was just as crazy as her.  It's nice to see for once that not all crazy girls are just born that way--sometimes they are made by equally crazy men.  Ted was doing a great job of leading her on and encouraging her erratic behavior, so it makes sense that he should keep the crazy train going until it derails and he can get himself together again.  I'm looking forward to how they end things.

In Robin's story, I can't believe how long it took her to tell Lily about what happened with Marvin.  It took her 17 years to tell the truth!  I would have smashed a wine bottle on that bitch's head!  It's not so much that she was caring for Marvin in a strip club with Mike Tyson than it was that she kept telling Lily a piece of the story here and there.  Who does that?  It's times like this that make it really clear why they are all friends.  These people are insane.

I liked this episode.  I want to see more of Jeanette and how she will turn Ted's life upside-down with her outbursts and odd tastes.  It's exciting to know that we've come to the end of Ted's mistakes in women and are winding down to getting a glimpse of this supposedly amazing woman.  I just hope she lives up to the hype that Ted has created about her.  It would be terrible if she was underwhelming as a character.  As for Robin, it's nice that she finally got over her baby-holding fear.  If only she could get over her need to garnish the truth over the years.  No lie needs to take that long to be revealed.

Ted Dates A "Gossip Girl"

How I Met Your Mother, S08E14

Ted was dating a much younger girl that he couldn't seem to connect with, but Barney urged him to sleep with her anyway so he could live vicariously through Ted.  Robin realized that with her engagement ring on she lost the privilege of free stuff and attention from men.  Marshall continued to wear a leather bracelet that he was allergic to so he could dress according to Lily's fantasy.

I have to say that Ted dating a younger girl was much more interesting (or just interesting at all) because the actress playing her was from Gossip Girl.  Even though Ted looked pathetic and desperate dating someone he had nothing in common with, I just liked seeing her so into Ted.  I'm not sure why she would think he was like pushing 70 or 80, but it was sort of funny to think of someone as cute as her flirting with him.  It just seemed so unlikely even if she was into "hot grandpas" or something.   Her turning out to be Barney's half-sister was just a bonus, I guess.  Mostly because it made Ted's one night stand a little more significant.

It makes sense that Barney would want Ted to sleep with girls that he could never touch again, but it was still sort of creepy.  Luckily, after the first proxy bang turned out to be his sister, Barney was pretty much cured of that idea.  Otherwise, I could see this going on forever and Barney trying to convince Ted to do more and more depraved things like Barney was known for.  However, since Ted had suggested he was still seeing some other little girl in the end, I guess he didn't need Barney to keep him on that path at all.

Robin's "problem" was mildly entertaining.  After showing us this ridiculous song and dance number about how she receives free stuff all the time for being "beautiful," it was a nice contrast to see her being invisible.  Also, it was interesting that she was willing to learn to pay for everything as long as it wasn't alcohol.  Apparently that was taking it too far.  I liked that she accepted that it was far better to just have eyes for Barney than to get free stuff, especially when Barney could fetch her a drink any time she wanted.  The best thing about Robin's story was when Marshall was explaining her invisibility in Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter terms, and Robin wasn't getting it.  She respectively called the first explanation tailored for "nerds" and the second for "virgins."  I don't know why someone who was a cheesy Canadian pop star thinks she is so high on the cool scale.  Please.

I could have done without Marshall and Lily's little thing about the bracelet.  Although, it's sort of funny that Marshall was turned on by Lily being in mom jeans and the fantasy of her being a typical mom.  That's so Marshall.

I guess I liked this episode in terms of Barney and Robin getting used to the idea of being unavailable.  It's not the first time Barney's been engaged, but I suppose it's the first time he's felt like it's a sure thing, so I can see him needing to go through a process before becoming a married man.  Ted needs to stop wasting his time with little girls.  I say that, but he is less annoying when he's dating for fun than when he's moping around because he's failed to find his soul mate.  Still, since we know that anyone he's seeing up until the wedding is just a pitstop on the way to his wife, his dating life seems less appealing to watch.  Next time, I just wish they would skip ahead a few months to where the wedding is just around the corner.  I'm way too eager to get a glimpse of this mystery woman.

Stone Cold Slytherin

How I Met Your Mother, S08E13

Barney had a hard time asking Robin's father for permission to marry her.  Robin was shocked that her father was not only more relaxed and fun, but had gotten married without telling her.  Ted and Lily fought over whether Barney and Robin should have a DJ or a band for the wedding.

This isn't much related to the story, but I felt like Robin was recovering from a cold the whole time and it sort of distracted me.  I mean, she didn't sound like a frog or anything, but she definitely sounded like she might need to clear her throat or something.  Must be difficult to be sick when you have to use your voice constantly.

Anyway, I might have never noticed how funny Robin's father was until now.  He was definitely my favorite part of the whole episode.  Before he even showed up Ted and Marshall were saying such funny things about him:

[Ted] Dude’s a stone cold Slytherin.
[Marshall] He always looks like he just came from slapping some guy tied to a chair in a back room.

I don't even like Harry Potter and Ted's line still has been chuckling to myself.  They set me up to expect to see some really scary guy appearing (I had forgotten what the man looks like), and Robin's dad didn't disappoint.

I loved his hard, intense expressions, especially when he was looking at Barney.  Barney's not exactly the bravest guy around, but I still liked seeing him sweat in the presence of Robin's dad.  Barney didn't look that good with dark hair, but it was really funny that he felt the need to do that after Robin's dad evaluated Barney's appearance:

This is Barney?  This man is blond.  Grown men are not blond.

Of all the things you could find wrong with Barney, that would be at the end of my list.  If he's bothered by just the surface of Barney, he's going to have a field day with what's underneath that blonde hair and expensive suits.

I wonder how, as terrified as Barney was of his future father-in-law, he was able to get the man to apologize to Robin?  Maybe now that he's married to someone like Carol, he's able to access some of those feelings that he's neglected all those years he raised Robin.  I thought they might say what Barney did, but that was left up to our imaginations.

I was also wondering why Ted was so set on a DJ throughout the episode.  I knew what Lily's deal was--she just wanted to be part of the planning and show that she knew what was best for the wedding.  I don't know why I didn't think it was because he was still stuck up on Robin.  For the love of everything, Ted--let it go.  I get that his love for Robin is deep, but he really looks so damn pathetic.  I believed him when he had accepted that Robin wouldn't be his and had really let her go.  Instead he was just fooling everyone, even himself.  Come on, Ted.  When are you gonna pick yourself up and stop grasping at straws?

There was a glimmer of hope in Ted's ridiculous battle for the DJ--they revealed that Ted would finally meet his future wife at Robin and Barney's wedding.  She'll be the bassist in the band, and we even got a sneak peek at her arm.  It's frustrating that this fated meeting is further down the road, but at least we know it's semi-soon.  We most likely won't have to wait another season to find out at least what she looks like.  There will be plenty of stories left once he does meet her because just because they met doesn't mean they'll fall in love in a second.  Especially with Ted, I think it'll take a lot before any woman decides to spend a lifetime with him.  He's a mess and even with the girl of his dreams, that'll never change.

The part where Marshall got "confetti" all over his face was so gross, but a little funny.  I would have vomited to see what actually flew out of little Marvin's behind, so I'm glad they had a cute way of conveying that.  I'm just glad that something came out of Marshall and Lily complaining about Marvin being constipated.  I just didn't think it was going to be the confetti explosion in Marshall's face.

This episode wouldn't have been half as good if Robin's father wasn't in it.  I couldn't stop laughing at his cold, dead-serious stares at everyone, especially Barney.  As for Ted, I just felt bad for him as usual that he can't commit to the things he's resolved to do or feel.  I think he's had more than enough time to get over Robin and truly be happy for Barbin finally becoming a thing.  Hurry up and get on the Barbin train, Ted!

Pit People; Saved the Best For Last

How I Met Your Mother, S08E11-E12

In this double episode,  the first half was about Ted's obsession with his old professor who said he would never be an architect.  His friends went with him to their old school so Ted could confront the man, and Lily and Marshall ran into an old friend who they believed was obsessed with them.  Barney was also jinxed and couldn't speak.  In the second half, Ted was torn about keeping his promise to Barney to not tell anyone about his plan to propose to Patrice.  Marshall and Lily also found it hard to have a night away from Marvin.

The first story was sort of funny.  I liked the idea of "pit guy."  They always make up some kind of term on this show, but lately I haven't loved any of them.  The idea that everyone has someone that they would throw into a pit because they hate them so much is interesting.  I felt bad, though, when Ted had to deal with his pit guy, Professor Vinick.  That guy was just awful.  Ted never got the satisfaction of showing the man he was wrong about Ted, and in fact, he got the last word in.  It's Ted's fault for not coming to the realization faster that he didn't need Vinick to validate his self-worth as a architect, but it still sucks for him.  The only thing I really liked about Ted's pit guy was Ted's fantasy about getting his revenge.  Ted threw a cigarette in front of him, setting ablaze a trail of fire that caused Vinick to burst into flames.  The professor quickly turned into ash.  That, plus Ted's maniacal laughter afterwards, was my favorite part of the story.

I didn't really like Robin's pit guy situation.  It was all kinds of wrong for her to try and fire Patrice for personal reasons.  I don't know if she could sue her for wrongful termination, but it was definitely going to make me hate Robin more if she didn't see the light in the end.  I did like her yelling at Patrice about the basket she bought for the lotions, but other than that I was just waiting to see if Robin would really be so petty to fire a sweet girl out of jealousy.

My second favorite thing about the first story was Daryl, played aptly by Seth Green.  Seth Green has always been a little creepy (also type of person that gets under your skin) to me, so he was really good playing someone who seemed to be unable to forget Lily and Marshall.  I loved when in the past Lily and Marshall tried to avoid him and he magically appeared in front of them.  And it was sort of funny that he later took the two to his suspicious and darkly-lit basement and Marshal and Lily thought they were going to die.  However, I knew early on that Daryl was most likely to give them a check.  I just hoped that he wouldn't tear it up.  That could have been money for Marvin's education.  What a shame.

I didn't think much of Barney's jinx til the very end where it became sort of relevant.  He got Ted to break the jinx by showing him a ring.  I actually believed that he was truly going to propose to Patrice.  I also knew that Ted wouldn't be able to keep his promise to Barney.  Telling Ted something about his friends that the others don't know is like tweeting it or putting it on Facebook.

In the second story, I was surprised that Marshall was trying to get Ted to give Robin another go.  I hope that was his real feelings and not because he was trying to win that bet he and Lily have.  However, as much as it looked like Ted was going to be selfish and go down the same old road again with Robin, I knew there was no way he could be that stupid.  I was really relieved when he told Robin the truth and took Robin to the building where the proposal would happen.  It's been a while since I've wanted to pat Ted on the back for a good job.  Robin and Ted is so eight years ago!  Haha.

No question about it, I was quite impressed with Barney.  I have really wondered why he has been so calm lately--it's been because he has been planning all this time to win Robin back!  And because it's Barney, who is the master of convoluted plans, you don't question how he was able to pull it off.  I absolutely loved that he named the last "play" of his book "The Robin," which detailed the steps he took to win Robin back after helping Robin break up with her last guy.  No man who didn't love her would go through so much trouble.  I mean, he pretended to be dating her worst enemy (who is really her biggest fan for playing the part for Barbin so well) and ignored all of her come-ons.  I loved this proposal more than the one for Quinn.  Hers was very magical, but Robin's was very heartfelt.   If Robin didn't say yes, then she might as well have fallen off that damn building.  Haha.  But seriously, it was very sweet and I feel like I need to watch it again.  I liked watching all of Barney's plan explained.

As for Marshall and Lily, they are new parents--nothing surprising about them missing Marvin.  I did think Lily's dad made it worse.  He was just too easy-going about them being gone that it made it seem like they weren't needed.  Of course, they would start to miss him and be unable to enjoy their night alone.

Good episodes.  The first story was definitely funnier because of all the "pit guy" business, but the second one was much more significant because Barbin became official with Barney's proposal.  I can't say that I'm going to miss that playbook of his.  I'm just very impressed that the last play was his very best one (and the only one I liked).  For that, it sort of makes his collection of sleazing on girls worthwhile.  Robin has to be pretty special to be deemed the last and only remaining page.

Property Of Ted Mosby

How I Met Your Mother, S08E10

Robin became obsessed with destroying Barney and Patrice's relationship, believing it was a sham, and snuck into Barney's house to find his playbook to prove to Patrice he wasn't who she thought he was.  Lily gave her mother-in-law advice on how to date again, and Marshall was freaked out when he found his mother and his father-in-law making out.  Ted was tired of his friends borrowing things and never returning them.

I like how Barney has seemed to calm down recently.  It's like ever since he's cut off his desire for Robin, he's become such a better person.  I could never imagine him dating someone like Patrice before, but the current Barney does seem like a genuinely nice guy who could be a good match for her.  I'm really enjoying how much it bothers Robin that Barney is dating Patrice, a woman that Robin can't speak to without screaming at her (the screaming makes me laugh).  However, she was getting really desperate and not listening to reason.  I'm sort of glad that she went to the trouble of finding Barney's playbook because Barney was able to show his resolve by burning it!  Wow.  He must be really ready to turn over a new leaf (or he has another copy somewhere or something).

My favorite thing about Robin's story was the end when all her friends cornered her with an intervention.  Yay!  I love when the gang does an intervention.  It feels like it's been a while because I had even forgotten about them until now.  Robin was getting out of hand, and I was happy to see them give her a damn wake up call.  Barbin's not gonna happen right now.

I didn't really care too much about Marshall's mom.  It was a little gross to think of anyone hooking up with Lily's dad, but it could be worse, I guess.  I'm sure that they will get tired of the "family with benefits" situation and move along.

Usually, I don't pay Ted's story any attention, but my favorite thing in this episode was Ted discovering (and the audience seeing) how much stuff everyone was borrowing from Ted without his knowledge.  Robin had taken his drill, Lily had his mini cooler, Barney had his Christmas decorations and trashcan, and Lily's dad had his campaign sweatshirt (eww--and was wearing nothing else).  I thought Ted was just complaining about something that didn't exist, as he tends to do, but he was so right about everyone just taking his stuff as if he's running a free store.  Oh, and I loved when Robin found the red boots that Ted had wrongly accused Stuart of never returning.  The crazy bitch was putting Ted's pocket knife to them and texted him a picture to threaten him to help her!  Another reason that Robin needed help and Ted needed to keep a tighter rope on his things.  I just spent the episode waiting for the next thing with Ted's label on it to appear (even his label maker was at Barney's--awesome).

This is definitely one of the better episodes I've watched within the last two seasons.  I say that because I'd actually want to watch it again.  I'm pretty satisfied with Barney dating Patrice, and I hope that Robin will finally learn to let go.  Barbin can wait a little while because we all know that it's going to happen one day down the road.  It was really funny to see how all of Ted's friends take advantage of him.  It's nice to be reminded that I used to like Ted and his seemingly crazy complaints.

Robin's Failed Flirting

How I Met Your Mother, S08E09

Robin tried desperately to seduce Barney, determined to do so after he made it clear that he was done trying to get with her.  Ted started looking after Marvin for Marshall and Lily and was experiencing a bunch of firsts with him without his parents around.

It was a little fun to see Robin throwing herself at Barney, who was more concerned with mourning the lose of Cornelius the tie than her flirting attempts.  She is really selfish, though.  Finally when Barney told her that he was done with her, she decides that still sort of wants him.  Even if she does this with anything that she's been forbidden to have, it's a horrible habit of hers.  She needs to get it together.  Luckily, Barney wasn't paying her any attention.  I really loved that.  Even with her trying to turn him on with some girl-on-girl action didn't get a reaction from him.  Barney's not the sharpest guy around, so I could believe that he was too into a funk to notice what Robin was doing, but not so much when Robin literally threw herself at him by appearing at his door in just lingerie.  I would have liked Barney to have been like, "Thanks for the offer, but no."  He didn't really reaction like I thought he would.

But it was all good since Robin got a slap in the face when her bold move was countered by Patrice.  Wow.  Barney could not been with someone that irritated Robin more!  That was awesome.  Plus, as annoying as Patrice is, she feels like a genuine person who could help Barney heal from his breakup and his decision to shut the door on Robin.  I don't know if there will be romance between them, but at least she's acting like a friend to him.  Robin's too caught up in herself to help Barney with the pain, Ted's got his own mess to deal with, and of course, Marshall and Lily have Marvin.  So really, Patrice might just be what he needs.  At any rate, she can make Robin blow her top and that's enough for me.

This week's Ted wasn't so pathetic that I wanted him to just drop into a hole and disappear.  I mean, he was acting crazy by acting like Marvin was his kid and stealing all the first moments away from his parents, but his actions were able to evoke some sympathy from me.  Apparently he needs a project to obsess over before he becomes the creepy guy at a baby's swimming class who has no baby there in attendance.  I think I liked, though, that he made a scrapbook just because it had pissed off Marshall and Lily so much by its existence.  And it was even better that in the future Marshall and Lily get revenge by taking Ted's firstborn to Santa while they're babysitting him.  Loved that they apparently do hold grudges (and rightfully so).

There was some pretty interesting development in the Barbin situation.  Not sure if Patrice is a roadblock or simply a distraction, but it's got me thinking about what will happen in the next episode a lot more than I've thought about this show in a long time.  I'm not too worried about Ted--I'm sure he'll get another project to keep him occupied.  Better him building some structure that bores everyone than him moping around about not having found his future wife yet.  There's little worse than love-lost Ted.

Bringing Sexy To The Courtroom

How I Met Your Mother, S08E08

Marshall tried to prove that Brad's company had polluted Frog Lake, but Brad's sexy techniques were swaying both the jury and judge against Marshall's favor.  Ted, Lily, Robin, and Barney tried to determine who was the biggest badass as a teenager.  Robin and Barney tried to pretend that their awkward kiss never happened.

I can't help but love every second that Joe Manganiello was in this episode--he's not just good to look at but funny as a stupid ass.  I knew that Marshall was fighting for a good cause against some irresponsible people, but I still wanted Brad to win with his cheap tactics.  I think my favorite Brad move was his little video of Frog Lake where he was playing a saxophone and chilling in the water.  Plus, he was wearing no more than a wife beater and trunks and no less than his trunks.  You gotta love that.  It was just a really dumb video that was obvious attempt to win over the horny women on the jury.  I'm sort of surprised that they had an all-woman jury--why did it turn out that way?  Whatever the reason, Brad had everyone eating out of the palm of his hand, including the judge who seemed to be a little in the closet.  I loved when Marshall was about to turn the tables on the case and asked Brad to take his shirt off, which was given the green light eagerly by the judge.  So Marshall actually was able to use Brad's sexiness a little to his advantage.  Nice.

What was even nicer was that Marshall's win led to Brad quitting with that pharmaceutical company and joining Marshall's firm!  Yes!  Maybe we will see Brad again!  And although he's sort of a sneaky and cheap lawyer, at least his semi-effective moves will be used to help the environment instead of helping scumbag companies get away with stuff.  I have to say that I agree a little bit with Marshall that it is a bit of joke to only fine them 25 grand when they are clearly harming animals, but then again, to ruin a company with a huge multimillion blow when they hadn't exactly been blowing up bunnies with dynamite or something is maybe a little too much.  But I think they should have at least gotten a million dollar fine to make the issue seem serious.  25 grand is probably something the executives at that company spend on a car or other "toys."

I didn't care too much about the competition of who was the biggest troublemaker in the day because we all know that these guys are certified dorks.  However, when Lily told her story, I did sort of believe her because she's never hid the fact that she's a crazy-ass bitch.  I also just liked seeing Lily looking so pale and with dark makeup while she slapped cops and carried a bat.  They should show more flashbacks of that.

Barney and Robin were frustrating with their forced pleasantries.  Thankfully, Barney told Robin that he was just going to stop wasting his time trying to get her.  That is what any sane person would do.  Geez.  Robin is ridiculous.  She's not going to find a better match than Barney, but she just keeps on pushing him away.  So I guess it's up to her now to show that she actually wants Barney at some point?  I'm trusting that Barney really means what he says and isn't going to backtrack unless Robin proves her love for him.  I'm a little annoyed that they're wasting time when their attraction is so obvious, but this show is all about milking it, so I can't say that I'm surprised.

It's a no-brainer that I'm most excited to see what Brad will be up to at Marshall's firm.  I don't really care what Joe Manganiello is doing in any episode as long as he's there and possibly showing off his guns at least.  Haha.  Robin needs to hurry up and get with the program.  The viewers deserve to see Barbin become a real thing and not just a daydream we keep getting teased with.

Whether Bum Or Sneaky Lawyer--He's Hot

How I Met Your Mother, S08E07

Barney was being scouted by strip clubs after leaving his longtime favorite and hired Robin to be his agent.  Marshall vouched for an old law school buddy for a job at his firm and  lost credibility with his boss after the interview was a disaster.  Ted wanted to prove that he wasn't a "piggyback stamper" and desperately searched for proof he had vouched for something cool on his own.

Well, no such luck for Barney and Robin to kickstart their old relationship, but you definitely could see them clicking like they always have.  Anyone who could agree to handle Barney's strip club decision is a match made in heaven for him.  I think it's really weird that he puts so much money into strip clubs that they would be fighting over him, but Barney has always lived an abnormal life.  At the end where they were kissing, I got my hopes up that they would slid back into Barbin, but Robin wasn't having any of it.  Before I thought they should ease on into it, but after seeing how well they get along on something so ridiculous as strip club scouting, I don't see any reason they shouldn't be together already.  Barney seems into it--dunno what Robin's problem is.  If it's anything, it better be guilt.  She still needs to apologize for what she did.

I guess I forgot until I saw this episode that Marshall is a completely good guy.  He just sees the good in people, which makes sense that he has Ted as his best friend and can promote him, despite that Ted has a lot of annoying flaws.  It was cute when he actually gave his stamp of approval a stamp of approval.  Geez.  But the best thing about his story and this episode all together was that his old school buddy Brad was played by Joe Manganiello.  Holy crap--freaking Alcide from True Blood!  It's amazing that he can still look hot while in a hoodie and a mustard-stained shirt.  I was thrilled to see him, especially when he was telling Marshall's boss that there was no way he was six feet unless he stood on top of a pot of gold.  Not only did he make Marshall look bad but he also turned out to be on the opposing side of Marshall's biggest case.  Oh, snap!  That was a pretty shitty thing to do to Marshall who was just trying to be kind, but I just love that actor so much that I was just excited to know that he was possibly going to appear in at least one more episode.  I don't care if he makes Marshall cry--I definitely wanna see more of him!  Best guest star on this show ever!

Ted had another pathetic story.  He is really a sorry individual since being single.  The only thing I liked is that he sort of gave his original stamp of approval for Lily back when Marshall had only begun to date Lily.  He did backtrack on his stamp a little, but he mostly convinced Marshall that Lily was a good deal.  That was nice because I was just shaking my head at him spiraling into self-pity about himself.  I can't believe it's taken him so long to figure out that he's never really amazed anyone with his "discoveries" about things.

I liked this episode.  I suppose Barney and Robin will really have to start having a conversation about getting back together in the next episode (I'd be pissed if they decided to just ignore that kiss).  Joe Manganiello has appeared as Marshall's rival and I freaking love it.  Really can't wait to see his handsome face again next week.  Ted, on the other hand, can hide his face for a few weeks.  I'm about ready for him to get his damn act together.  Can't take another story about him being a sorry son of bitch.

Thank God For Barney

How I Met Your Mother, S08E06

Robin saw that she needed to break up with Nick when she wasn't distracted by their sex life, but wasn't able to do it easily.  Marshall was obsessed with his basketball team and training, while Lily was being overly horny.  Ted was a horrible captain for his basketball team.  Barney tried to motivate Robin to breakup with Nick by threatening to invite her "stalker" Patrice to a BFF day.

The main focus of this episode was about Robin breaking up with Nick, which was way overdue.  The other things that were going on were merely distractions and not welcomed.  I was slightly wondering what was wrong with Marshall and Lily, but not so much that I was thankful that Ted finally made them fess up to their problems.  All that mattered was that Robin finally had the veil of good sex removed from her eyes so that she could see that she was dating an idiot that she had nothing in common with.  Even for TV, I was hoping that her realization would make the breakup quick and easy, but it dragged on for the length of the episode.

Only Barney was able to get things moving.  Robin was still dragging her feet about cutting Nick loose and would have continued to do so if he hadn't threatened her with Patrice.  Everyone else was telling her to end it, but Barney was the one making shit happen.  I was getting angry that she was still giving into her bodily urges toward the end and feared that we might have to watch this nonessential couple for another week, until Barney got fed up and arrived at Splitsville to take care of business.  His long emotional speech about how he felt about Robin was a lot more than she deserved.  Sure, maybe he was making Robin look like an ass, but he was doing her a huge favor by spilling his guts about her.  I wasn't too moved by what he was saying because I'm still angry at Robin, but I was so grateful to Barney for ending things with Nick.  Thank you, Barney!  If it hadn't been for him I might have had to pull out some hair.

Not sure if this will be the start of Barney and Robin being back together, but even that doesn't matter.  It just matters that we don't have to see him and her with someone who's basically an obstacle to Barbin.  I want to like them as a couple again, but I'll need to see some story that really shows that they were made for each other again.  Hopefully they won't just get back as if there wasn't a huge gap in their relationship. I can't imagine that when it's hard to imagine how they both ended up engaged.

I'd like the focus to be on Robin and Barney next time, with minimum on Ted again, unless we're going to get a little closer to the mystery of his wife.  So far, he's spending his time single as annoyingly as he was when he was with someone, so I don't need to watch a story centered around him.  Lily and Marshall stories are okay, but with them having a kid, I feel like it's going to related to Marvin and I'm starting to get sick of parent stories.  I miss the old dynamic of this show already--I knew the magic would be lost once a baby was involved.

Bye Brover, Bye Victoria

How I Met Your Mother, S08E05

Barney was getting a little too attached to his new dog, which Robin worried was due to his recent breakup with Quinn.  Ted realized that  Victoria wanted Ted to make a commitment to marry her and promise not to be friends with Robin anymore.  Marshall was being trained by Lily to give out sassy advice and got too carried away with it.

I groaned when I heard that Barney had named his dog "Brover." But I suppose him letting a dog be his wingman was kind of cute and better than seeing him use some stupid gimmick to pick up girls like he usually does.  His story also helped to put some strain on Robin's relationship, which needs to end already.  I felt a little bad that Barney had to give back the dog, but at least at the end it looked like they still could hang with each other.

Ted was incredibly thick in this episode.  I don't know why he would think that Victoria would want to take things slow when she had ruined a wedding to be with him.  I sort of forgot that he did owe her a commitment for taking such a big risk with him.  Yet, Ted couldn't give her 100 percent.  She should have known that asking him to cut Robin out of his life (which he has already tried at least once) wasn't going to fly.  But at least they sort of ended things on a less disastrous note.  They both saw that it wasn't going to work with them both wanting different things.  I feel bad for Victoria wasting her time with freaking Ted.  He should have just returned her to the church and never looked back.  Was there really a point in them being together this short time again?  So far, it just seems like a delay tactic before the "mystery woman" finally appears.  Get on with it!

Marshall and Lily were a little funny in this episode.  I thought it was weird that Marshall's inner goddess came through as this southern lady.  But as a Lily-in-training he wasn't so bad.  I mean, at least it was cute that they were dishing out advice with attitude together as a team.  It's just too bad that he didn't get the hang of actually dishing out good advice most of the time.  I also liked how annoyed Ted was to have Lily and Marshall keep telling him what he needed to do, especially when he told them they were the worst.  I don't know why that was the funniest thing to me, but it was.

Now that Robin has shown that she puts all of her friends ahead of Nick, I hope that their relationship falls next time because we haven't even really seen anything sweet or meaningful between them that would make you want to see them last.  Anyway, Robin is a train wreck, so she doesn't really deserve any guy (even Barney because she made him break up with Nora and then stayed with Kevin).

Not a great episode.  But I see potential for the next few episodes because we're getting rid of more clutter the more we progress.  It's just not progressing fast enough for my tastes, but as long as we're sort of moving along, I'm momentarily pacified.  I won't be , though, if next time Robin and Nick don't bite the dust already.

I'm Worried For Marvin

How I Met Your Mother, S08E04

Lily and Marshall finally got some time to themselves, but decided not to spend much of it with their friends.  The two began getting fearful of their deaths and thought they should pick a guardian for Marvin just in case.  Robin, Ted, and Barney began vying for the title of Marvin's guardian.

I would have never guessed that this episode would have led to Lily and Marshall thinking about how they would die (except I did see a commercial for this episode last week).  Nor did I think that their friends would attempt such stupid tactics to win the responsibility of taking care of Marvin in the worst-case scenario.  I mean, all Robin and Ted did was bring big ol' bears.  They didn't put much effort into their bribery.  Barney, on the other hand, put some effort into making children's songs into bro-themed lyrics, but I couldn't see how that was supposed to impress anyone.  I know it's Barney, but still--what was that?  He has to think somewhere in his head that doing that wouldn't make Lily and Marshall snap their fingers and tell him he's the one.  Out of all of them, he could have used his money to actually buy less stupid gifts than teddy bears to bribe them.  It's puzzling.  And it wasn't too funny.

Later, I was a little excited to see Marshall pull out a huge game wheel because Marshall always has the funniest games.  Plus, it's just ridiculous that anyone would make one of those in the first place.  The time he used to make that could have been spent just talking and hanging out with his friends in the first place, but, hey.  Anyway, the categories weren't especially clever, nor were the "contestants' " answers.  We all knew that Barney wouldn't provide a decent answer for most things, but I do think his approach to helping Marvin heal a broken heart was kind of funny:

I know this hurts little buddy. But you will love again someday because time heals a broken heart. But not that bitches window.

But when you think about it, Barney felt like the better choice when you had Robin, being a little too frank about death, threatening to send Marvin to military school, and shamelessly buttering up Marshall by saying he was a stud when it came to sex and Ted, mostly using a damn puppet to explain things to Marvin and caving into his every whim the moment Marvin looked a little sad.  Although, I would still never choose him.  In short, they all seemed like they would be horrible parents.  At least, if we were thinking about each of them raising Marvin by themselves, I would be really concerned about what would happen to the kid.

So I thought maybe Marshall and Lily would see that they all weren't good guardians, but they surprisingly chose them all.  I didn't know you could do that.  And also, even if they raised Marvin together, he would be a complete mess.  They're good friends, but I don't think they would necessarily teach Marvin good life lessons so he wouldn't grow up to be all the bad parts of Ted, Robin, and Barney (that mishmash would be a monster).  But I guess since Marshall and Lily had no family they could agree upon, that was the best they could do.

I also want to say that I was a little shocked that Marshall told his friends that Marvin wasn't one of the most important things in their life, but was the most important thing.  Perhaps one's child is to many parents, but to say that straight up to your friends would still feel like a slap in the face.  I had to share Ted and company's feelings when they walked out after that.  I don't ever think I've seen Marshall and Lily act like such jerks.  They made up for it, but damn.  It just bothers me when people seem to toss friendships away once they have kids.  Your kids are special, but you're not going to be able to bitch to them about your problems or go drinking with them (not while they're underage anyway) or probably hang out with them much (because they'll think you're too old and uncool).  So it doesn't make sense to me.  Good thing they patched things up some.

I guess this was an okay episode.  It distracted me from wanting to see those other two dumb relationships fall already.  I truly didn't even think about it because I was too focused on how Marshall and Lily were acting.  But next time I would like to see them get back to that and put an end to one or both of them.

I Liked Mrs. Buckminster

How I Met Your Mother, S08E03

Marshall and Lily had a hard time finding a nanny before Lily went back to work.  Robin and Ted tried to best each other in whose relationship was going better.  Barney tried to return to his own tricks as a single man, but was bored with his old shtick.

Well, I knew from the beginning that Lily and Marshall would eventually pick Lily's dad to look after Marvin, but I had hoped that I'd be wrong and they would keep Jane Carr who played Mrs. Buckminster.  I've liked her ever since she did voices on Fairly Oddparents.  She just has such a comforting voice--I love it.  And it was kind of weird but funny how she was looking after Barney and then screwing him at the end.  Not that surprising because I anticipated it when I saw her helping him out, but still.  Weird.

Robin and Ted's fight was just so stupid.  Especially since we all know that they're arguing for no good reason because their relationships are both doomed.  I'm annoyed that they didn't even break up one of them in the episode.  The torture goes on...  But I did like seeing Victoria being so slovenly in Ted's apartment.  She was just throwing things left and right as soon as she entered the door like a tornado of filth.  That was amazing.

Barney's story was even sadder and more boring.  It was a little twisted that he was interviewing nannies just so that he could get sympathy as a single dad and sleep with one of them, but it wasn't enough for me to think I was glad he had a little story of his own.  I also knew that he would be the one to pay for Mrs. Buckminster from the moment I heard that her salary was too high for Marshall and Lily (still hoping that she'd be on the show more).  I can't say that I'm happy to see the old Barney back.  In fact, he just seemed like an annoying fly buzzing around talking about "Bangtoberfest."  Geez.

I guess I didn't hate this episode because I did like seeing Lily's father show he did do more for her than abandon her and take her to race tracks, but it wasn't enough for me to be glad I had watched it in general.  I feel like I was just waiting for it to be over so I could enjoy 2 Broke Girls.  Even though they don't really have the same sentiment as this show, I find that its brand of comedy is less taxing than HIMYM right now.

Let's Hurry It Up

How I Met Your Mother, S08E01

The eight season premiere started with a look further in the future where Robin and Barney are getting married.  However, the main focus is on a little back in the past where we left off last season.  Ted and Victoria were trying to leave a note for her ex-fiance Klaus, but having difficulty sneaking in.  Barney wanted to keep his relationship with Robin a secret from Quinn, but a sleep-deprived Marshall and Lily made that difficult.

I can't say that I wasn't a little bit encouraged by this episode to keep watching, but that had little to do with almost everything that happened.  My biggest frustration was that they are continuing to do this leap forward in the story, while still talking about the past.  Well, we all know that despite Barney is engaged to Quinn and Robin has a new boyfriend that it's not going to work out.  I think I have no patience left for this show, and I just want them to hurry up and show how Robin and Barney get back together again.  Why fool around with this unimportant piece where they are apart?  Seriously, I wish I could snap my fingers and get to the point.

It was even more torture watching Ted and Victoria scrambling around to leave that note for Klaus.  We know that they aren't going to be together because Ted in the "Barbin" wedding future is sitting at a station where his future wife comes holding that famous yellow umbrella.  Frankly, for all the trouble that he went through to leave that letter for it to be that Klaus didn't even want to get married was annoying.  It absolves Ted and Victoria of looking like assholes for leaving a man at the altar, but it makes me wonder if they could have just gotten together in the end without this dramatic fleeing from the wedding and stupid return to the venue to leave a letter.  Again, I felt like I was being jerked around.  All for a relationship that isn't even going to last the entire season (presumably).

Despite all my complaints there was one thing I did like about the Ted and Victoria story and that was when Klaus thought that Ted knew German because he understood "wunderbar".  He then proceed to go off in German as normal.  This was particularly funny to me because I've had this sort of experience before.  Also, Klaus was telling Ted that he was inconsistent with his knowledge of German since he knew "kindergarten," but didn't know this other ridiculously long German word.  But by that time, it was nearly the end of the episode, and it didn't particularly save it for me.

With all these complaints, you would wonder why I would want to continue to watch.  Well, it's mostly because Ted's wife has finally shown up again.  Now, we're not sure that Ted is going to have a fateful meeting with that woman there at the train station in the next episode, but I hope he does.  If he does, I think I can keep watching.  If she's just going be there in passing just to tease us again, I think I'm gonna be done.  I'll just catch the finale of the last season so I can figure out who he marries.  Because I'm not enjoying the journey anymore.  Marshall and Lily are pretty much done--they have a kid.  Barney and Robin are going to stop going around in circles and get married.  We just need freaking Ted to fall into place.  But I don't think I have it in me to stick around if this isn't going to happen a little faster.

So for now How I Met Your Mother is still within my list of stuff to watch, but it's not out of the danger zone by a longshot.  After all, there may be something better to watch at its time slot on Monday (especially if Regular Show or Adventure Time were to move to that time), so it may not be worth it.  Hopefully, next time we are going to see the first encounter between Ted and the future Mrs. Mosby.

Tedtoria--Not So Much. Barbin--Knew It All Along

How I Met Your Mother, S07E23-24

Barney and Marshall struggled to get back to New York for the birth, while Ted and Robin tried to keep Lily calm with stories.  Marshall just managed to get there in time to see his son, Marvin be born. A week later, Ted decided to contact Victoria and found out she wanted to run away with him on her wedding day.  Robin continued to fail to take a decent family picture for Lily and Marsh to use for their announcement cards.  Barney got held up in the airport security when he refused to reveal the trick inside of a magic box.

Since the finale was an hour long, it had a lot more opportunities for funny moments.  I think it was really funny how Ted had a huge picture of himself in the labor announcement email that he sent against Lily's wishes.  It should be more pathetic that he's living his life through Lily and Marshall, but it just reminds me of how ridiculously close Ted is to his friends.  It's really hard for him to see themselves as separate people.

My favorite story that Ted and Robin told Lily about was the one about Marshall's cursed pants.  He found a note in the pocket written in Chinese that sent him to some interesting shop in Chinatown.  Despite that the owner went into the back where it was glowing bright green as if there was magic afoot, it was only a ticket for dry cleaning.  Of course, it would be.  This is pretty much how my second favorite story, the mysterious door, ended.  I would love to do that to one of my friends, but you would have to trust that they would be so cautious they wouldn't go into the broom closet until the very last second. 

I also liked how younger Lily made it seem like her dad was a stranger and got security to get rid of him.  Then in the present as he was freaking her out, she simply called for security and they dragged him out of the room in seconds.  Man, I would like to go to a hospital where I could just remove people like that (or any place, really).

It was cute how they all dressed as John Bender because they didn't coordinate well for their group Breakfast Club costumes.  The idea of each of them dressing as one of the characters is interesting.  They have exactly enough people and all the right genders.  Lily could be Claire, Robin could be Allison, Marshall could be Andrew, Ted could be Brian, and Barney could be Bender (although, I think Neil Patrick Harris resembles Brian more).  I'd just love to see that.

What I didn't love was Robin coaching Ted on who he should have ended up with.  She was quite right that he kept betting on the wrong horses for love (thus, why I'm fed up with him after these years), but I can't believe that she thought the best thing for him to do was re-explore Victoria, a woman who was supposed to be engaged.  I really liked Victoria and I thought she and Ted made a good couple, but it just didn't feel right for her to suddenly come back and want to run away with Ted.  To me it sounded like she just wanted a quick out and was scared.  If she really wanted to be with Ted, why not just tell her fiance her feelings in person instead of telling him with an empty altar.  I was really happy that Ted was going to take her back to the church until he started remembering all the good times.  I wanted to choke him when he passed the church.  Really?  You're going to go for Tedtoria??  That was the last thing I expected!  I can't help but to think that the start of the next season will show Ted's actions blowing up in his face.

What I did expect was that Barney's mystery box was somehow a proposal ploy.  I don't know why I knew, but he was being overly secretive about it and purposely ruining their getaway.  Any man that can hug his girlfriend upon seeing that she had remodeled his bachelor lair into "Tinkerbell's vagina" has to love a girl deeply enough that he wouldn't actually try to ditch her for some magician's convention instead.  I know it's TV, but Barney would have definitely gotten shot before he had one chance to explain himself in the airport.  But I'm glad it was dragged out so we could see his elaborate trick where a ring appeared on top of a growing flower.  That was amazing!  It was a really wonderful proposal.

But I knew Barney was meant for Robin, the second he mentioned this was their last chance to go off together.  That connection between them has always made me think the woman he was marrying in those random previews of the future was Robin.  I never doubted it for a second, even when both of them started dating others.  I just knew they would find a way.  I still think Robin is a jerk for abandoning Barney for Kevin and then tossing him away too, though.  After breaking his heart like that, I really wonder what Robin did to win Barney back (especially when he already had Quinn).

This was a pretty good ending to this season and had one surprise that I didn't see coming.  I just really can't be happy that Ted is simply recycling his relationships (that's how he got in trouble with Robin), but maybe Victoria will finally lead him to the girl he's supposed to be with.  I know the series is supposed to be about the events that led up to Ted meeting the girl of his dreams, but I can't imagine being less enthused about who his true love is if I were his daughter and son listening to the story in the future.  It's a shame that Barney made such an inventive proposal on a girl that he won't end up with in the long-run, but I feel a little proud that Barney is transforming into a man who can at least commit enough to want to be engaged to someone.  Robin is going  need some transforming of her own and that will be something I look forward to in the next season.  Not looking forward to Ted wasting his time with Victoria.  Or Marvin (Waitforit--are you kidding me with that middle name?) turning Marshall and Lily into boring parents.  Hopefully, they won't do any of those things next season and I'll have a reason to want it to come back in the fall.

Crazy For Robin, Crazy For Babies

How I Met Your Mother, S07E22

Ted and Robin were avoiding each other, and the separation started to get to Ted.  He was seeing Robin's face in not only the online dates that Barney sent him on, but also just about everyone he saw.  Barney, getting fed up with many negatives of dating a stripper, tried to set Quinn up with a cushy job at his bank, but she refused to take his handout.  Marshall was taking his preparation for the baby way too seriously and driving Lily crazy in the process.  She eventually sent him off to Atlantic City with Barney.  While they were busy gambling and getting drunk Lily went into labor.

I couldn't stand watching Ted go on dates where all he could see was Robin's face on them.  It's tiring to see this dance between the two of them where they're fine with not really being around each other, but then in another episode, they're not.  I'm hoping that Ted realized that he needs Robin his life regardless if they are in love with each other or not.  With their history of being friends, it's just dumb that they would give up their friendship just because they had a moment (mostly Ted, though) of weakness and thought they should be a couple again.   I had hoped that Ted's lapse into insanity would have been funnier (i.e. others around him wondering why looked out of it), but few people noticed how Ted was talking to Robin in his head.

Barney was also a little painful to watch this week because it was obvious that he couldn't handle random guys on the street suggestively telling Quinn that they would see her later.  I shook my head at him when he tried to casually get her a job in name only so that she could quit stripping.  If she's not willing to quit her job (which is asking her a lot of her), I don't see how it can really work.  Barney's not going to suddenly realize that it doesn't matter how many men have a sexy relationship with his girlfriend--what else can they do?  Unless Barney started stripping himself and could see things better from her perspective.  Even for this show, I couldn't see that happening.  I'm not sure if it's seeing someone like Barney but in female form that rubs me the wrong way, but I don't like Quinn too much anymore, and it wouldn't bother me much at all if she disappeared.  After all, what has she really done that is memorable so far?

I thought Marshall was cute with his overly zealous baby training.  I like that Marshall isn't the type to just think about what he might have to do once they baby comes, but he actually tries it out.  Setting an loud alarm to wake him up at odd times at night and tending to a watermelon baby, however, is really pushing it.  Lily was right to send him away for a while.  I can't imagine having to suffer through parenthood before it's even happened.

I sort of knew that as soon as Barney and Marshall agreed to not look at their phones for an hour that Lily would definitely go into labor during that time.  I didn't care too much about that at this point (just want the baby to get out already and see how that goes), but I did like that Barney brought up the ducky tie again.  I was just as surprised as Marshall to see it again:

[Marshall] I thought you threw that thing away.

[Barney] I did.  It came back.

To see Barney have to wear that wretched thing was more exciting than what I assume will be Marshall and Barney's mad dash back to the city to see Lily give birth.

I have to say this was a pretty boring episode since there was a lot about Ted thinking about Robin and Barney whining about Quinn.  Marshall and Lily's story was the best of the three, but it still wasn't enough to make me laugh or stay focused the entire time.  Next time we get to see little "whatever-its-name-is-going-to-be" be born, but I'm not counting on that being very entertaining with the quality of this episode.

Mark Gets Batty

Ugly Americans, S0306

Mark introduced a bat person to his group, but he was soon bit in the crotch and started transforming into a bat person himself.  Rather than seek some of kind of treatment, Mark decided to become a crime fighter and was teamed up with a Robin-knock-off Doug.  Although Mark lacked many superpowers beyond a high-pitched screech, he and Doug made a significant impact on the organized crime in the city among the cat people.  He finally decided to end his hero days after Callie was kidnapped and he had to save her.  Thankfully, Doug's bite was the cure.  Randall also started a taxi service where he recorded celebrities' conversations in a Taxicab Confessions fashion.

Mark's spoof of the original Batman was lame, but I liked that Doug was his Robin counterpart.  Not only was he cute, but he basically did all the real fighting that Mark possibly couldn't do himself.  Other than that, Mark going around dressed in an unimpressive costume got old pretty quickly.  I think the best part of him becoming a bat was that his bug-eyed appearance was joked to look like Steve Buscemi.  Even Sabrina thought it was the famous actor coming to get her when Mark attacked her at the end.  That made me laugh the hardest in this episode.

Beyond that, I don't think I found too much to be funny.  I liked that Callie got over her disgust of Mark's appearance at the end until he started to wild out like the bat who had bit him.  I thought maybe since he was pretty much a bat by that time that he couldn't be turned back, but Mark quickly went back to normal after Doug's bite.  It's a little gross that he has to keep getting daily bites from Doug in the same place for a whole year.  I suppose that's better than Grimes chopping off his penis with a machete

I didn't mind this story, but I guess I imagined that it would be a bit funnier since it was making fun of something I knew.  Then again, Batman has been spoofed over and over again, so it's been done to death.  I might have liked it better if Mark had tried a different way of life as a bat instead of a cheesy superhero.  I think I could even have stood for more of the grosser scenes that I've gotten accustomed to in this show.  If it's not going to be funny or bizarre, the episodes should at least gross me out in an unexpected way.

Once You Have Baby, You Never Get To Be Crazy Again

How I Met Your Mother, S07E21

Marshall got upset about Lily's sex dream with Ranjit.  Barney started a campaign to make every day legendary with Ted at his side.  Ted was less interested in hanging out with Barney than he was enjoying his time living alone as an adult for the first time in his life.  Robin was frustrated that despite becoming an anchorwoman on a major news network, she was far from famous yet. However, after she landed a helicopter by herself after the pilot passed out from a stroke, she finally got the celebrity status that she longed for.

It's incredible how well Marshall and Lily know each other, to the point that Marshall could tell that Lily was lying about the content of her sex dream.  It's too bad that he could easily tell that she had "sleep cheated" with someone she knew, but it wasn't anyone in their inner circle.  I'm glad that it was Ranjit, not just because it wasn't someone I'd easily guess, but just because I like him on the show.  The issue of the sex dream wasn't as funny as Ranjit continuing to listen in on their fight by lowering the partition randomly after Marshall had asked him to raise it several times.  And I loved when Marshall and Ranjit were eating at the fancy restaurant.  I thought he was going to comfort Marshall about women acting a little nutty when they are pregnant, but Ranjit crushed his dreams about ever having the luxury to be crazy himself:

[Ranjit] She’s pregnant. She gets to be crazy. You have to be the sane one.
[Marshall] So what, I don’t get to be crazy again until the baby comes?
[Ranjit] No. Then it’s baby’s turn to be crazy.
[Marshall] When do I get to be crazy again?
[Ranjit] Never.

 That was my favorite part of the episode.  I didn't care too much about Robin being depressed about her fame and then getting it, nor Barney's point system and his attempt to have all these "incredible" nights with Ted.  The only thing I liked about the latter story was that Barney revealed that his incessant bragging about Quinn being a stripper was a front to cover up his fears about what she did on her job at nights.  The only thing that distracted him from all those terrible thoughts were hanging out with Ted.  I'm glad that it isn't that easy for him to date a stripper because I was wondering how he thought it was such a great job that he needed to tell everyone every time he spoke to them.  Ted was nice to accept his challenge to get a girl's number while wearing a dress.  It was really unflattering on him, though, especially because he didn't wear matching shoes even.  But he did wear perfume with it.  Not gonna ponder why that is--Ted's just weird in general.

I think this was a pretty boring episode except for the fact that Ranjit came back.  I wish that he had more opportunities to be in the show, but as he is a limo driver and none of them can afford such services on a regular basis, I guess he can only come back for the occasional episode or two.  I'm ready to see Ted find out that living on his own isn't all about the freedom of walking around naked or eating buckets of ribs in peace.  The season finale is drawing near, so I'd like to something eventful to happen with his relationship (that doesn't involve Robin) quickly.

A Lot Crammed In There...Too Bad It Sucked

Don't Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23, S01E01

ABC came out with a new show about a girl named June who moves to New York, but all of her plans fall through and she ends up getting a new apartment with a girl named Chloe who is out to scam her.  Although June's life seemed to go from bad to worse from the minute she agreed to move in with Chloe, she found out that she wasn't entirely a bitch after all.  The premise of the show wasn't bad, but I certainly didn't find it as funny as it was trying to be.  It was mostly bland and predictable.

Not sure if June's personality just takes some time getting used to, but I found her character to be incredibly superficial.  She was so overly trusting and hopeful that she was practically begging for someone to take advantage of her.  So when she fell right into Chloe's trap, you didn't feel very outraged or sad for her.  She certainly is not a complete pushover since she did fight back once she realized that Chloe was playing her for a fool, but then she was just as easily convinced of Chloe's sob story about the ottoman.  She felt so bad about it that she and Chloe went out to retrieve it from the person who then owned it.  When June tried to convince them to give it back, after all else had failed, she spoke about Chloe's goodness as if there had been a moment to prove any of the crap she was saying.  It just seemed so random and fake.  If she was just talking out of her ass, that would have been fine, but I think her character actually believed what she was saying.  I know she believed the part about Chloe possibly returning to burn down the house.  I wish that part had been funny.  It was the only thing I thought that made sense that she could say at that stage of her and Chloe's relationship.

Chloe's character seems to be trying to portray an evil girl who isn't as bad as she wants everyone to think.  I don't think that the plot or the actress nailed that impression.  Sure, she was doing annoying things like inviting strange men over to suggest she'd be having wild sex, ate June's yogurt while walking around completely nude, and barged into the bathroom while June was taking a bath.  Still, all these things seemed so stale to me--they didn't shock me or convince me that Chloe was a demon.  Maybe I have been watching too many other people who are more skilled in dishing up trouble for others and her attempts just couldn't compare.  Even when she he pulled out the drugs from the ottoman, I saw it coming.  Then when she tried to be June's friend and tell her about her cheating fiance, I didn't buy her "nice" side either.  This was perhaps because she just hadn't nailed her "outer" personality, so I couldn't go along with her "inner" one.  If Chloe is going to be the "bitch" that this title implies, she needs to pump it up.  She's about as badass as Butters from South Park being Professor Chaos.

One thing I do sorta like about this show is Robin.  I think she has potential to be a funny neighbor (unlike the pervert who looks into their window).  I like how she both detests Chloe and at the same time seems to want her friendship.  She definitely gives off the impression that she has been burned by Chloe in the past.  I'd like them to keep her as a regular because June and Chloe (and James--ugh) just don't cut it if this is supposed to be a comedy.

I watch enough shows that aren't that good, so I doubt I'll watch this for more than one more episode if they can't establish the characters better or make more interesting situations.  I didn't have any hopes for this show beyond what the title suggested, so I can't say that I was disappointed.  It would have been nice to secure a new show to offset most of my shows going into summer hibernation, but I'm sure that I'll find something else if this one doesn't deliver.

Best Quinntervention Ever

How I Met Your Mother, S07E19

Barney finally introduces Quinn to his friends, and it doesn't take them long that they decide that they need to break out the old invention (yes--it's been a while!) banner to put a stop to their seemingly destructive relationship.  Despite they were way off with their opinions about Quinn (through really no fault of their own) Ted and the others learn that Quinn and Barney are more a perfect match than it looked like in the beginning.

At first it seemed like Barney had been whipped by Quinn at the speed of light and the intervention seemed necessary.  Whether it was necessary or not I loved to see them hang up that banner.  It was even better when Marshall added a piece that made it say "Quinntervention."  Nice one, Marsh.  Also, he kept making everyone correct themselves to use his punned form of the word when speaking of it thereafter.  I couldn't believe that real seeming fight between Quinn and Barney after she crashed the event was all the two's evil plan.  Dang, they fooled me good.

Before the others caught on, they were all forced to take the "broath" by Barney in those ridiculous cloaks while a recording of monks chanted "Bro" (really, Barney?  You have to go that far?).  That wasn't as bad as Robin and Lily having to kiss, which Lily unsurprisingly was into more than Robin (Lily seemed to be the one who had wanted Robin to join she and Marshall in a threesome), but the worst was when Marshall and Ted had to kiss each other.  I think a lot of fans have been waiting to see this, as much as those two love each other.  They didn't do more than lightly kiss, so it wasn't too bad on their part, but when Barney said that he was only going to make them fist bump and he and Quinn were just screwing with them all, I would think they would be a little more angry.  Instead, his friends were just humble about their previous snap judgments and accepted Quinn wholeheartedly.

I'm not sure how I feel about her as an addition to the group, though.  I don't know if she has the right flow.  For Barney, I think she may be good, but for the group, I feel like she brings a whole different kind of energy.  I dunno.  I worry about that if she is going to be a permanent fixture.

I'm glad that Robin and Ted didn't have to continue to fight over Quinn's apartment.  In fact, everything went really well for Robin in the end.  She got a promotion, got a raise, and got a new apartment without having to take one from Ted.  I thought maybe he was going to move into Quinn's after that, but I still saw him talking to his past college self and friends' clones in the college dorms.  So did he move out or is he still relatively homeless now?  Ted and Robin also agreed to return things back to normal between themselves, but the awkwardness was still there, so I guess it won't be as easy as they made it look.

I liked that this story wasn't at all what I thought it was at first and that it seems that Barney is finding a good woman after Robin threw her chance away (still a little angry at her about that).  I'm anxious to see how Quinn is going to interact with everyone now that she has been "accepted" as one of their own.  If it's going to be something like having another Barney, I don't necessary see that as a good thing.  One Barney (and really one of every type of all the current characters) is enough.