Tessa's "Scott Strauss"

Suburgatory, S01E16

 Dallas starts off this episode showing off more hotties from various countries.  So I guess that she's not going to go for George any time soon. Why would she, really?  I mean, she looks wonderful for her age and is bubbly and fun.  There's no reason for her to settle for only those that she knows.  I'm not going to hate on her game, as much as I'd like to see her get with George.

But my reason for them getting together is ultimately so I can see the tension between Dalia and Tessa reach its peak.  The tension is rising, for sure now.  It's nice to see that Dalia can get at Tessa without even trying (and she certainly wasn't doing that with her "deep" poem about cars).  Tessa thought she had a chance to connect with a teacher she thought would be cool based on her appearance and occupation mostly, but it turns out that Tessa couldn't impress Ms. Evans.  Worse than that, she had to learn a lesson from her archenemy in the process.  After Tessa demands that Dalia tell her the secret to writing poetry Ms. Evans would like, Dalia explains that Tessa is just trying too hard to impress her, just as Dalia was trying too hard with Scott Strauss.  Sadly, Dalia is right about that and that Tessa is a little more pathetic than Dalia was with Scott.  He was a dreamy teenager boy, and Ms. Evans, as Dalia put it, was a middle-aged woman with BO.  I will have to make this episode a win for Dalia.  I haven't been keeping score, but I would have said they had been pretty even until now.  Tessa better not get blinded by someone or something again.  Dalia is an enemy you gotta keep your eye on.

I loved that after Dalia imparts this revelation to Tessa she says:

Yeah, you think about that, Biatch, because I see it sinking in. 

The incontestable winner, Ms. Dalia Royce!

Another good line was from Fred and George after George had displayed his natural talent for playing croquet:

[Fred] You are frothing my wife up into a frothy frenzy!  And I would appreciate a little decorum!
[George] Ah, OK.  I didn't mean to froth anyone.

Again, George has awesome delivery coupled with a deep voice that can make most words hilarious.  This time it was "froth."  I could laugh hearing him read a dictionary if he did it right.

Lastly, I was pleased to see that Dallas hinted again that she and George have a chance.  This was suggested by the ball carrier that she gave him labeled "Georgas."  Not the best couple name ever, but she has to have thought about them being together to think of such a ridiculous name.  Their romance is definitely going to go slowly, but I can wait.  I think I can.

As long as there is no more croquet in the next episode, I'll be happy.  There was only a little bit in this one, and it was too much.  Furthermore, when are we going to see Rex Lee again??  Let's have an episode centered on him.  But I'm always rooting for more of the Dalia-Tessa War.  Can't get enough of that.

Get It!

Finally we got to see another Suburgatory last Wednesday.  Now at its 13th episode, I can say that this show is working its way into my favorites from this fall.  However, there is little following for this show among the people that I know.  Again, you have a really rich cast of characters, but you also have a lot of interesting stories that, unlike a lot of shows that I watch, make me want to re-watch episodes.  It's a great feel-good show that also makes you laugh along the ride as you reach the "lesson" of the episode.  Last time, the lesson, I suppose, was that you shouldn't rush into sex with someone that you don't feel a real connection with.

George, being the concerned dad that he is, cannot get over finding the XL condoms in Tessa's room (which were left behind by Lisa in her Love Box).  Somehow he thinks the solution to getting h8s daughter distracted from sex is to surprise her with a little game night with her friends.  I'm not sure how George convinced Malik and Lisa to come to his house without a guarantee that Tessa would be there, but I suppose that deep, manly voice of him can command some level of trust that he knows what he is doing.  I thought it was funny that Lisa and Malik don't try too hard to leave after they figure out Tessa won't be joining them.  It was good for the audience, though, because those two and George make an excellent recipe for an awkward conversation pie.  My favorite line from their little game night was when Malik fist bumps Scott and says "Get it!" and George freaks out a bit:

What was that?  What did you just tell him to get?

As Malik was saying that line to Scott, I thought to myself that sounded bad, but I didn't expect George to comment like that--love it.  His character does not disappoint!  Later, Lisa informs George of this virginity calculator where one can determine when you will first do the deed using random information like your height and hair length.  This was not just another testament to the fact that Lisa is such a wonderfully deluded girl (she was so excited about having soda which she is denied at home!), but also gave us an opportunity to see a side of Malik that might have been previously unknown.  Malik tells us that his virginity will be lost at 60, but he is willing to wait and suggestively stares at Lisa.  I thought this was my imagination until Lisa tells Tessa later that she thinks Malik hit on her that night.  All right!  They would make a good couple, but I bet Lisa will be a bit resistive.  It's not like anyone else is knocking on her door--go for it Lisa!  Get it!!

I'm sad that Tessa and Scott broke up in this episode, but with his constant discussion of Africa and his proposal of sex with a little tent and a goat in his backyard, he was destined to get the boot.  I liked that she had something that Dalia wanted for once.  I wanted to see them fight more!  Well, with Dalia being such a vapid bitch, I'm sure another thing will come up where Tessa can get the upper hand.  I will say that Dalia is such a likeable teenage mean whore.  Most of the time these girls are just nasty demons, but Dalia is more ignorant than she is intentionally vicious, so you kinda have to love her.  And she is so stoned-faced, you gotta laugh. 

Another character you think you would hate, but you can't is Dalia's mother, Dallas.  She seems like a superficial, money-grubbing housewife, but she's a sweetheart.  And kudos to her for realizing that she's too good for her cheating husband.  Granted that Dallas and George definitely have something going on there, but she's at least not actively trying to sleep with him yet.  While she danced in her heels on the floor her two-timing husband won't let her walk on, we could see how powerful of a woman Dallas was.  I thought for one second, though, that Dalia was going to show emotion when she thought her parents were getting divorced, but good ol' Dalia stayed true to form when she bragged to her friends about all the double things she would enjoy once her parents were split.  Dalia, too, deserves a round of applause for being a materialistic girl, detached from worrisome matters like family ties.

Lastly, I just want to say how George's thunderous voice makes the majority of what he says sound hilarious!  I couldn't help but chuckle at him simply saying the words "ladies' glasses" and "bifocals" as if he were saying the most ridiculous words ever.  I could listen to him talk all day.

ABC better not cancel this lovely show!  It has everything I'm looking for.  Next time I hope that we get to see more development in the Malik-Lisa relationship and another situation that leads Tessa to battle Dalia.  Oh, and can we get Rex Lee's character in the next one?  I've loved him since Entourage, and he is a delight in Suburgatory.  I'm eagerly waiting by the TV!