Fighting Like Sisters Already

Suburgatory, S02E09

After Tessa made her feel bad about her SAT scores, Dalia invited Tessa to her hip hop class to show off her dancing skills.  Their fight encouraged a fight between Dallas and George as well.  The Shays kidnapped Malik in hopes to exchange him for Ryan, but ended up going to Malik's for dinner and pleading Ryan to come home.  Jill and Noah also asked Mr. Wolfe to train Opus because he wasn't exceptional enough to get into their first choice preschool.

I was surprised that Tessa was being so cocky about her SAT scores to Dalia.  I know they aren't best friends or anything, but it wasn't like Dalia had started anything with her, so it came off as pretty rude.  I'm guessing that she was just too jealous of Dalia who gets big rewards like cars for doing the bare minimum, while she scores in the top percentile and gets a measly card.  What I like most about this behavior is that the girls are sort of acting like sisters already.  I can imagine why otherwise Tessa would expect George to reward her in a similar manner when she knows full well that in her own family they don't have the means to be handing out cars like candy bars.

I was nearly ready to feel bad for Dalia until she got to shine at the hip hop class.  I love seeing Dalia dance!  She's not only good, but she maintains that expressionless face the whole time doing it.  It just gives her movement even more attitude.  Plus, I thought her outfit was cute.  Tessa wasn't too into the dancing, but once she felt upstaged, she started to get into it.  I don't think she was as good as Dalia, but she was putting up a decent fight.  At any rate, their dance-off was entertaining to watch.

It was interrupted by Dallas and George's own beef with each other, concerning parenting.  I was surprised at Dallas telling George that he lets Tessa act any way that she wants.  She was tripping.  Dalia is not innocent in that area, either.  But they both made good points.  George could stand to be a little less cheap, at least in showing his daughter that he's proud of her.  She doesn't need to get a new car, but something nice might keep her from getting jealous.  My favorite part of their dance-off was when George started break dancing and Tessa wondered where George had magically gotten some cardboard from.

In the Shay story, I was surprised at how far they would take their insanity.  Malik didn't feel very scared, but he was still kidnapped, nonetheless.  And worse than that, he was lured into the Shay's trap by Lisa pretending to want him back.  That was damn cold.  But I guess she'll do anything to get back her brother.  It amazes me how much she loves him, considering she always seemed to resent being in his shadow.  Anyway, it was ridiculous that they took him and tried to disguise their identities.  They're not just crazy, but they're idiots as well.  Lucky for them that Malik's parents didn't think anything of it and invited them to dinner.

One thing that made me laugh at Malik's house was when Malik's dad first opened the door:

[Edmond] Did you do your homework?

[Malik] Not yet, I was  kidnapped.

I just love how no one took the kidnapping seriously.  They might have just shown up for dinner without going that far.  Later, I was sort of bothered at the way Malik's parents were supporting Ryan's decision to get emancipated, as if he had been abused in his life.  He shouldn't have been lied to for so long, but he certainly wasn't treated badly at any time.  He was living the life of a king, which took a vegetarian meal and a lack of pudding skin before Ryan could remember.  It's ridiculous that it took him so long to think of all of the benefits of being a Shay.

I was happy to see Ryan finally return home, but not so much to see him eating a big thing of pudding skin.  It looked really gross to me, but if it got him home again, then it's all good.  It was cute that he was saying that skin was thicker than water and then Lisa couldn't let it go and had to correct him.  It really made me laugh.

I sort of felt that the story about Opus was unnecessary.  It was adorable to see Mr. Wolfe talking to Opus as if he could understand him and judging him seriously on an impossible scale, but it didn't really add to anything, except to the idea that Noah and Jill are bizarre parents.  It's almost as if they haven't a clue about what babies are capable of (which really makes it obvious they didn't raise their first child).  I guess it was an all right story if they just needed to fill up some extra time, but they could have extended one of the dance-offs in the Tessa story instead.

It was great to watch this show again after the holiday break because I've missed the weirdness of Chatswin.  I like that Tessa and Dalia seem to be bonding as sisters, even though their parents aren't even married.  It makes it seem like it's possible that their families could successful join one day.  Dalia and Tessa are never going to be thick as thieves, but I could see them functioning as arguing sisters in the future.  The Shays being reunited again is wonderful because it means they can stop committing crimes to get Ryan back.  Most of all Ryan can stop acting like his parents stole his liver while he was sleeping or something and get back to being the Shay's shining but dopey star.  Opus is a cute little baby, but he doesn't really need any stories about him that aren't related to the main characters.  That time can better be spent on settling another beef between Tessa and Dalia.

Held Hostage On A Cruise

Bob's Burgers, S03E04

Bob was invited to be a guest chef on a cruise boat, but declined.  The captain tricked him into agreeing to a single night that led to Bob and his family being trapped on the boat at sea.  While Bob battled the captain for his freedom, his family enjoyed their time on the boat with their own individual interests.

This was an episode full of creepy things.  I enjoyed it a lot not because it was funny but just because of the premise.  Bob got kidnapped with his family on a cruise and seemed to be the only one concerned about it.  His family was especially oblivious to the situation, only enjoying the benefits.  Linda and Louise weren't too insane with how they spent their time, but the other two were really creepy.  Tina, who kept wanting to be massaged by a cute guy, was no surprise, but Gene falling in love with a non-human puppet was hard to overlook.  That was on the same level creepy as some captain keeping Bob hostage because he wanted to eat his burgers all the time.

 Captain Flarty, although a sicko and clearly insane, was pretty funny because he was voiced by Jeffrey Tambor.  I've always thought he was a strange guy in a good way, so to have him on the show was very welcomed.  It was really funny when Bob had asked Louise to help him distract Flarty and his men from finding him, but she instead managed to lead them right to him.  I just generally enjoyed Bob running around the ship trying to escape, even though there were few places to hide (and of course, while he was being locked up and running around his family didn't take any mind).  It's a good thing that Bob finally managed to get Duvall to speak up about the insanity going on behind the scenes because Bob really looked like he was going to be on that boat for the Puerto Rico trip and beyond.

Gene's fascination with that manatee was so freaking wrong.  More than that, the guy working the puppet was such a weirdo.  I don't care if he was trying to scam Gene out of some money--what kind of guy tries to flirt with a little boy using a puppet?  It's not a crime, but it's definitely in the gray area of being appropriate.  The puppeteer was voiced by Paul F. Tompkins, who is no stranger to being a bit of a creeper.  So his character was very believable as a creepy scumbag.  I had hoped once Gene learned that he was being fooled that he might forget about his "love affair" with the inanimate object, but he kept the eye and was making a hand be a puppet.  Ugh.   I wish he had just thrown that away.  It's very rare that someone can steal the spotlight from Tina for making me cringe and feel all together uncomfortable, but Gene's behavior won hands down.  Since I'm already used to Tina, I'll take her any day over anyone else exceeding her "normal" activities.

I still don't think this show is that funny, but it has some stories that are pretty good.  This one is almost on par with the previous episode where the kids were working on a weed farm.  I really liked seeing Bob be the only voice of reason, while everyone else was choosing to live in denial.  Usually Bob freaking out while everyone ignores him is frustrating, but this story made his tendency to overreact work well.  I hope they do more stories that work out this way because it's a lot more interesting than their usual ones.

Let's Get Roger Locked Up

American Dad, S08E01

After hearing Hayley singing at his attic lounge, Roger became dangerously obsessed with Hayley.  Stan wanted to buy a new car, but couldn't find anyone to pay him at least 15,000 dollars for his old car.

I just have to say that Roger is so insane.  Like, it's weird to be saying that after everything else he's done, but when he was targeting Hayley he outdid himself a little.  First of all, he shot her and still showed up in her hospital room to bring her the disgusting gift of Christina Aguilera's larynx, which he played like a kazoo!  Eww!  Then he proceeded to knock out Hayley and kidnap her.  It was really gross watching him cuddle up on her with no clothes (though he usually is naked when he's himself).  It just looked like he was humping her, although Roger has mentioned that he has no genitals (but how does he have all that sex?).  Well, I didn't think it would get much worse from there until he decided to take Jeff's skin.  Ugh...  Seeing him in Jeff's skin was so gross!  Roger really needs to go to a place for the criminally insane.  I often think that he will end up killing them all one day (like he tried to do in a different episode in a sort of spoof of that movie Alien or whatever).

 The side story where Stan was stubbornly trying to sell his car wasn't funny until the very end of it where the lady was trying to escape the lion and crashed the car.  It was sick, but in a funny way, how the lion pounced and attacked her while they were both on fire until they both burned into ash.  That's not how I expected Stan to get over his car not being worth what he wished it to be at all.  I'm thankful for that story even though it wasn't hilarious just to distract me from how creepy Roger was.

I liked this episode even though it was disturbing.  It's interesting that Roger can get even more insane than he already is and all it takes is for him to fall in love.  I'm glad, though, that he got over Hayley in the end (when it was sort of far too late by that time).  I also think it was great that they started their season with a story about Roger because whether it's funny or creepy, it's still much better than stories about the other characters.  I can't wait to see what horrible things Roger is going to do the rest of this season!

Toys And Steve's Virginity Are Here To Stay

American Dad, S07E18

Stan took Steve to lose his virginity in Mexico because he wanted Steve to grow out of playing with toys.  They failed to find a suitable whorehouse to facilitate that and also got kidnapped by some drug cartel.  They only managed to escape when Steve used his imagination through a toy made from parts he found in their cell.  In a side story, Roger wanted to steal a bottle of Rain Duck from Greg and Terry to enjoy with the steak dinner Francine made.  All of his attempts failed, so Francine had to get it herself, but Roger had planned all alone to get rid of Francine and have the meal to himself.

It's episodes like these that make me think that Steve and Junior from The Cleveland Show are so similar.  They both are teenage boys who refuse to grow up and continue to play with toys.  I would have preferred that Stan fight Steve and his "army" toys over and over again, rather than have had Stan listen to Klaus' plan.  Taking a teenager out of the country to get laid seems a little extreme just because you don't like him playing with dolls.  Steve seemed to love the idea, but I think if he and Stan had succeeded it would have somehow warped him.  It would have at least taught Steve that it was okay to buy sex, and possibly he would have never bothered to seek companionship based on mutual affection.  So in a sense, the fact that every whorehouse they went to was disgusting and horrifying was a great thing.

I just wish that they didn't have to portray Mexico in such a horrible light.  I don't know which of the places they went to (that were shown) was worse, but I especially disliked when everyone was vomiting on the streets.  I also don't understand why anyone besides Stan and Steve needed to puke at that particular moment.  It seemed unnecessarily gross.  Even if it was for a joke about horchata (I've never tried it, so that one goes over my head), I think it was excessive.

I had hope for them to enjoy nicer trip when Stan and Steve were taken in by a group of people in a car, until they all took out guns on them.  But truth be told, it's always risky to take a ride from a stranger no matter what country you're in.  It was just a little ironic because just before Stan and Steve knew they were in danger, the man said that most of Mexico is wonderful.  At least that line suggests that the writers aren't completely trying to make Mexico seem unpleasant.  I just wish things had turned out differently, but I guess their troubles were vital to Stan allowing Steve to continue playing with toys.

I was glad, too, that Steve had such a great imagination because I don't know what kind of food they were fed in their cell, but it didn't look like anything good.  In Steve's mind they could be eating food that was recognizable and weren't surrounded by rats and roaches.  I also didn't like looking at the toilet paper tube, roach-headed, rat skeleton-armed toy that Steve made. So glad that he could picture it as something less creepy and nasty.  If I had to watch Steve the whole time shaking that monstrosity of a toy around throughout the end of the story, I'd have had to look away most of the time.  Especially with its roach head (I can't stand those things).

Because of my repulsion of "Pedro," I couldn't blame Steve for throwing the thing out when they got away from their captors.  I liked that the fantasy version of Pedro was outraged, though.  Plus, he said that line that you hear at the end of the episodes: "Bye, have a beautiful time."  That was kind of cute.  It made me like the ending of the episode a lot more.

As far as the Roger story went, I can't believe that I didn't suspect that it was all going to be a setup by Roger.  From the beginning, I wondered why Roger would bring a really nice wine (that he obviously loved) to a steak dinner that Francine claimed was going to be for her and Stan (did she have no idea that he went down to Mexico?).  I guess I got distracted at his attempts to steal the last bottle from Greg and Terry that I started to ignore the why.  He wasted all this time making a device with dominoes and other triggers throughout the house just to take out their electricity.  What a rip (not in a way that made me laugh).  After Roger was failing like a champion, I was glad to see Francine get the damn bottle in a quick minute.  But I was pissed that Roger set her flying away on a giant wrecking ball.  Not another story where he just screws over someone and gets to reap the profits at the end!  Freaking Roger.  I love him because he provides fantasy and creepy humor, but I hate how he is frequently exempt from consequences.  He needs to pay more often!

This may be an episode I would come to like after watching again.  It lacked a lot of the usual annoyance I find when the stories concentrate on one of Stan's plans (or Klaus', really).  It would have been better if Roger was a little funnier, but at least he wasn't portraying himself as another obnoxious persona and was more or less playing himself this time.  However, it would have been even better to see Roger get away with less in the future.  The joke of Roger screwing people over for his own selfish needs is really starting to wear thin.

Meg Gets "Taken"

Family Guy, S10E20

Meg went overseas to Paris with a friend and got kidnapped by human smuggling group.  Brian and Stewie went to save her, going through many typical action movie steps before they do so.  Meg almost had a terrible thing turn into a wonderful dream, but it was literally blown up in front of her face before that could happen.

For a Meg story, which are rarer in these days, I wasn't expecting much, but it turned out to be a spoof of the movie Taken, which made it a lot more interesting.  I had a feeling it was based on that story when Meg and Ruth got in the car with a dubious stranger, but as soon as I saw the place that she and Meg were staying, I instantly knew it had to be going down that road.  It's a little exciting to watch a spoof  that I recognize on any of the Seth MacFarlane shows because I feel like I don't know even a fourth of the movie references they make.

I liked that when Peter got a call from Meg as she was getting kidnapped, Peter realistically told the man on the phone that he would never be able to find him and told Lois that Meg was dead.  Even for this show, no one would have been able to believe that Peter would have the skills to rescue Meg in a foreign country he's never been to.  I actually thought they were going to be cruel enough to just let Meg be, but thankfully Brian seems to have a bit of a soft spot when it comes to Meg (he's about the only one), and he got Stewie to come with him to get her.  When I saw that Stewie was on the job, I knew that they would be able to successfully get Meg back.  Plus, it also meant that this was more of a Brian and Stewie story than Meg, really, so it wasn't going to be as bad.

Most of the jokes, however, weren't that great while they were finding out information about where Meg had been taken.  They weren't necessarily bad, but they didn't make me laugh either.  My favorite joke was when Brian and Stewie stole a car and it had "car chase GPS."  That was a cool way to mock the typical development of most car chases in any given action movie.  If there was such a car that had that, it would be pretty cool.  I mean, most people would crash within a few minutes of attempting most of things that people try in those sorts of scenes.

Because bad things always happen to Meg and it's treated like normal, I was a bit happy when her kidnapping turned into her being possibly engaged to a wealthy, handsome prince.  But I already knew that before their lips touched that Stewie was going to shoot him in the head.  There was no question in my mind.   I think Meg deserved a happier ending after all the shit she has to put up with her family, but of course, it wouldn't be funny in a horribly ironic way if Meg had her dreams come true.  At least Stewie wiped her mind (though not the part where she met the man of her dreams) and got her to safety.  Even with Peter poking fun at Meg that she got no mail while she was gone at the end, at least she was home in one piece.  I guess, this show can't be that heartless to her and have her abandoned somewhere.  No point in sending her somewhere exotic to be miserable when she can be miserable at home.

I think I liked the spoof element best in the episode, overall anything else.  It would have been great if they could have had better jokes, but it was at least nice to see a Meg-centered story where she wasn't treated too much like a lesser person.  Thank goodness for Brian who cares enough about Meg not to treat her life like garbage and for Stewie who is a bad ass skilled and equipped well enough to handle an international rescue.

Nick, The Crappy Dragon Slayer

Grimm, S01E14

I knew from the preview that in this episode Nick was to face a dragon, and Juliette would be kidnapped.  You would think that would make for a superb episode, but it didn't.  I figured Nick would stick his nose into some creature business he wasn't supposed to and make a new dragon enemy who would kidnap Juliette to get back at him.  Well, that's not exactly what happened...

Nick's investigation of a dragon breaking into a warehouse to steal copper, led him to his flame-dancing daughter, Ariel, at a club (where Monroe is a regular customer).  She was a little flirty with him, which I thought was just an attempt to fluster him because he was a Grimm and a cop, but she later jumps him and halfway opens his shirt.  Granted, Nick was acting like a stalker himself (he had no legal right to follow her home and trespass in her yard), but the last thing I thought she would do was kiss him.  To make things worse, Ariel answered his phone and made Nick sound like he was fooling around.  He kinda was, so I'm glad he was whipped enough to run home and explain himself.

Thanks to that stunt, Ariel started stalking him and lured him to her house so she could sneak into Nick's house, abduct Juliette, and sneak into his bed.  You knew it had to be Ariel in his bed, but Nick was less furious and shocked about her being there than I would have thought.  He did chase after her into the street (shirt open for all those lady fans), but I feel like he could have been a bit more freaked out.  She wasn't just a psycho who had his girlfriend; she was a dragon psycho.  For all he knew, she could have burned her up already!

The rescue part of Juliette was beyond moronic.  If Monroe wasn't there at all, I'd think Nick had lost his damn mind.  He didn't even have a plan on how to defeat the dragon (I suppose he didn't find any information on their species' Achilles heel) and figured because he was a Grimm, he'd be all right.  Monroe made a huge deal out of this point, thankfully, so it wasn't as if the writers were dismissing Nick's brash actions.  In the end, he just winged it or either the old dragon just wasn't on top of his game enough to burn Nick into ashes, despite he only had like a copper rod to fight with.  Nick managed to run the dragon through and took his sweet time escaping before Ariel burnt the whole place up.

Juliette finally met Monroe after he helped her escape, but you could tell that she was curious about the relationship between him and Nick (as she well should be).  She also seemed to realize that being with Nick had a lot of drawbacks that she probably hadn't noticed before.  The way Nick and she talked after the rescue, it looks like they may break up indeed.  Well, I can't say that I would blame Juliette one bit, nor do I feel bad for Nick.  After all, they haven't invested a lot of time into the depth of their relationship.  Perhaps if they did some kind of flashback to when they first met or something of the like, I might cheer for them to stay together, but right now I don't know the extent to which Nick loves Juliette and vice-versa.  Nick obviously values his job (and I think being a Grimm) more than he does Juliette, so why would anyone demand they stay together?

Aside from this pitiful rescue that didn't do anything to give me a thrill nor fill me with romantic adventure, Monroe pointed out something that seemed very significant:  another Grimm was decapitated recently and the reapers seemed behind it.  Or at least, I think he said "reapers."  If he did, when did Nick and he discuss about reapers coming after Grimms??  When I heard that I was like, "Hold up!"  It's very possible that I missed something because Grimm is pretty boring at times, but there's no way I can be sure without re-watching the episodes (hell no) or searching the internet for the information.  Does this mean that Captain Renard all this time was supposed to be getting rid of Nick or something?  So confused!!  And not in the good way that makes me want to continue watching.  In the angry way, like I've been fooled.

Ariel also didn't die, which sucked.  I don't want her to come back.  Her brand of deadly seduction wasn't clever or creative or even entertaining.  She was just crazy and her plan seemed scattered.  I would have much rather the spider lady had gotten away than her.

One last thing.  I didn't get why the dragon were hoarding copper.  It it because copper has some kind of heat-resistant property?  OK, I don't remember much from school, so I'd have to look that up.  I'd rather a character blurt that information out like I'm an idiot (which I am, I guess) instead of me having to do the work.  I was so confused about that too.  And now I'm annoyed because Grimm is making me feel dumber than I am.

This episode was decent, at best.  We still have yet to see Nick release his true Grimm powers (whatever those are) and put up an interesting fight.  I think he did a better job as a gladiator than he did as a dragon slayer.  It's time for him to Grimm up and impress us with his battles against the creatures, instead of fumbling around like a moron.  Or at least if he is going to continue to do this, he needs to make better use of his unofficial sidekick Monroe.  As weak as Nick is, I'd rather watch an entire episode of Monroe fixing clocks at this point.