Doing Border Control Or Funding A Remodel?

Archer, S04E08

Archer, Lana, and Cyril were assigned to catch a famous coyote on the Texas border, but things went wrong when Archer decided to help their target escape and left his comrades knocked out on the side of the road.  While traveling with so many Mexicans in the back of his car, Archer easily caught the attention of the border control cops and ended up getting shot in the process.

I enjoyed the development of this story. I mean, it started typical enough for Archer where he's busy acting like an asshole while the others are trying to do their job properly.  However, instead of Archer's overly casual attitude about their mission screwing things up, it was Archer's fondness for the target.  Archer getting distracted by a set of boobs, also isn't something untypical for him, but it's not often that he basically throws his friends and the mission aside just so he can get some.  When you toss in all of the illegal immigrants by his side, it turned out to be a really strange way to hook up.  Obviously, if she was in jail he couldn't get with her, but to run off with her with all of those other people, I don't know how Archer could have thought that would work out.

I thought maybe eventually they'd toss Archer somewhere and continue their escape or Archer would grasp that getting with the woman he just met was more complicated than it was worth.  Nope.  Archer just ended up getting shot in the back when he was kissing (a kiss I found to be a little strange since it was the old woman in the back who shot the cop car) the girl.  It was ridiculous that he let himself get so seriously injured all for the sake of sex.  Like, why is Archer so pressed for sex?  He didn't even stop hitting on her when he was coughing up blood.  I almost wish he had been a bit successful with all that mess he had to go through.  Damn.

One specific thing I liked in the story was all of the jokes about Archer possibly being autistic.  I don't know how serious that Lana was that he could possibly have some form of it, but Archer kept pointing out moments that supported that theory (like counting all of those bullets that where shot in and near him).  Archer definitely has some issues with understanding social cues, but it would be too easy to excuse his behavior as some kind of mental condition.  I'd rather just think that Archer is insane, but I like how he was offended Lana had said those things about him, yet it got him thinking about himself.

I also liked when Mallory asked this one guy to find Archer's station wagon.  Mallory didn't yet see the futility in searching for such a common car in a large area until he kept pulling up results of similar cars on the road.  Mallory got so pissed when he kept asking "Is that it?" over and over again.  I loved it, even if the poor guy got hit so hard by Mallory that he fell over from possibly a heart attack.  Which, ironically, made him pull up the exact image of Archer's car.  But by then, everyone had left the room.

The ending, although good because Archer managed to not die in the back of a car full of people, shouldn't have surprised me, but it did.  I can't believe this was all Mallory's doing again!  When is everyone going to catch on before Mallory gets her way?  Just when I thought that ISIS might be doing something sort of to the betterment of other people or for some cause, it turns out to be the opposite.  Mallory is one sick person to make her employees run around like her lab rats while she collects money to redecorate her room.  I'm sure she didn't expect Archer to run off and get shot like he did, but it had to be part of her plan for him to get seduced and be part of the distraction for border control.  It's a bit frightening how good she is at manipulating people and situations for her own needs.  It's good that Archer, with his personality, didn't quite inherit that knack for using people as his pawns. 

I liked this episode just because of Archer's random involvement with a woman smuggling in people into Texas.  It was strange that he had to get shot and run around with all of those people just so he could get rejected by the woman and find out that it was all part of his mother's plan.  I guess rather than be surprised that their seemingly failed missions are exactly what Mallory intended for them to do, I should now expect that when ISIS looks like they're screwing up, Mallory is behind it all.  Mallory is some kind of mastermind.  It's lucky for mankind that she's not using her skills to plan terrorist attack or steal millions of dollars.  She'd be scarily good at those things.

You Don't Need Magic--You Just Need A Cane

Once Upon A Time, S02E11

Rumpelstiltskin had finally found a way to cross the line without losing his memories, but his plan to start searching for his son was stopped when Hook finally made a move on Belle.  After securing her safety, he found that the shawl he needed to cross the town line was stolen by Hook, and Belle went to retrieve it for him, despite Rumpelstiltskin asked her to stay out of it.  In the past, Belle joined a group of men to find a beast, but found herself doing the adventure alone until she finally teamed up with Mulan.

I was thrilled that this episode started off with Rump dragging Smee out to the town line and him slightly roughing him up with his cane as he tested out his potion.  I mean, it was great to see that he had found a way around that curse-lifting side effect, but I just loved seeing him smack around someone who may or may not deserved it.  I was actually hoping he had brought Smee out there to attack him for something he had done to upset him, but it turned out to be less about intimidation and more about discovery.  Boo.

Things started to pick up when Hook decided to show up at Belle's library and try to grab her.  I was so excited that he was finally making a move and that Belle might tell Rump about Hook before Hook could get the jump on Rump.  It actually started to look like some kind of horror movie when Belle was hiding in that elevator and Hook kept banging on the doors.  With Belle's phone not working and Rump being unable to get the message that Hook was after her, I was scared that when the doors did open it was going to be Hook.  Thank goodness it was Rump and she was safe.

I thought it was crazy that Rump gave Belle a gun and told her to hide in the library (because Hook couldn't possibly get her there again) until I realized that Belle is no coward and doesn't seem to shy away from danger.  I was sort of terrified when she found Hook's ship (which was impressive, but seemed rash on her own) and just walked on in as if there couldn't possibly be someone waiting on board to kidnap her ass.  It was commendable that she managed to save Archie, let Archie get away so that he could get Rump to come help her, and temporarily escaped from Hook with the stolen shawl in hand.  Wow.  Just when I thought Belle was just big-hearted girl with a pretty face, she showed that she is just as badass as the rest of the women on the show.

My favorite part was when Belle looked like she was way over her head with Hook and Rump showed up to save the day.  I was expecting more of a real fight between them, but it was pretty one-sided.  Still, watching Rump beat the hell out of Hook with his cane was so amazing.  I mean, it was horrible that Hook couldn't even return a blow, but I was laughing so hard at Rump letting out all of his fury upon Hook without using any magic.  That was what was so cool about it.  Rump could destroy Hook in a second, but he chose to fight him like a person and beat him with just his cane.  After a while, though, I was glad that Belle stepped in to stop it.  I wasn't ready to see Hook die just yet.  I mean, I at least wanted to see a more dramatic fight between the two of them first.

Belle's commitment to Rump is so endearing.  He straight up lied about killing his ex-wife and why Hook wants to get revenge on him so bad, and she still stood by his side.  I think any other woman would have jumped off that ship, especially when he was beating a man nearly to death and five seconds away from ripping his heart out of his chest.  I was really worried that the ugly side that Hook brought out in the usually calm and collected Rump would send Belle away, but she really showed that she's in this for the long run.  And you gotta love that sweet moment when she put the shawl around him and they held each other on opposite sides of the line.  It would have been even better if they had gotten that kiss, but alas Hook had just begun with his revenge.

I can't even begin to wonder who busted into town and took out Hook before Rump could turn him into ash because Belle not only got shot, but lost her memory as well!  No!  I figured that Hook wouldn't be swayed by Rump's threats or faux mercy, but I never would have imagined him shooting Belle in the back!  That was a good twist, even if it was sort of heartbreaking.  I wonder what Rump is going to do next?  Is he just gonna leave Belle there and hope he can get her memory back later or will he stay in Storybrooke and try to use some new magic to fix her (even though he said it couldn't be undone).

In the past, I was sort of confused why Belle would randomly go beast hunting, but I suppose she's always had a thirst for adventure and never thought to quench it until Dreamy encouraged her.  I liked that she was able to read like Chinese and find the Yoaguai on her own.  I didn't care too much for Mulan popping up and being as about as friendly as a rattlesnake poked with a hot stick.  She redeemed herself by acknowledging how smart Belle was to find the beast faster than anyone else, but I was still annoyed that she is always so abrasive with new people.  In the end, I loved that Belle managed to subdue the beast and find out that it wasn't really attacking people but was Prince Phillip just cursed.  It established Belle better as a character and explained how Phillip and Mulan met.  Check check.

With Regina not even being in the story really, I was happy to see her at the end of Belle's past story even if she was just throwing Belle into a cage.  I sort of missed her and yet I forgot about her because I was too busy delighting in seeing Rump get to use his cane as an ass-kicking tool so much.  I am really curious as to where she is and if she's bumped into her evil mother yet.  With Archie being alive and Emma knowing that Regina is innocent, I wonder if it's too late to apologize to her and pull her away from the dark side.

Lastly, it was interesting to see Snow and Charming discuss getting a home for themselves.  I liked how she was ready to settle down and be with her family, while the non-stop hero Charming wanted to go back home like the others and fight.  I have to side with Snow that they have been fighting for a damn long time.  It's about time that they freaking stopped and grabbed onto some freaking happiness and peace.  I mean, it sucks for those left back home like Mulan and Aurora, but it's not like Snow and the others were brought to the non-magic world by choice.  I do see where Charming's coming from, but I think he's a little addicted to fighting and saving people.  As for the other townspeople, they might just be homesick and worried about the rest of the world finding out about their magical and abnormal lives.  If Charming was arguing that angle, I might feel like siding with him.  I'm not sure that either of them, especially because they're stubborn, will come to agreement about that soon.  That's a bit of a shame because I'd love to see what their house might look like.

Fantastic episode.  There was finally some fighting going on between Hook and Rump, but it wasn't as intense as I was hoping, but with Rump dishing out so many cane lashings, I couldn't complain too much about that.  Rump had me worried that he was going to lose Belle with all the violence and deceit, but Belle proved that her love for him runs deep and her faith for him is unshakable.  However, that doesn't matter too much now that Hook has made her fall across the line of memory loss and she doesn't even know who Rump is anymore.  It's frustrating now that they've gotten so close again, but it does add some good drama to the mix.  There's also some good tension brewing between Snow and Charming concerning whether they should stay or go.  I can't tell who's going to give in that argument.  More than their issues, I have to know what's going on with Regina.  Cora was absent in this episode as was Regina (at least in Storybrooke).  It seems like a pretty bad sign that next time we see the Queen, she might be a lot like her old self and beyond returning to her new and improved self.

Steve's Wild Night

American Dad, S08E06

Stan and Francine's regular babysitter got injured and they decided to let Hayley watch Steve so that they could go to the horse show they were looking forward to.  Steve wanted to prove that he was wild, so he snuck out of the house to a party and Hayley spent the night trying to get him back before their parents figured out how irresponsible she was.  Stan and Francine hired Roger to drive them in a horse and carriage to the horse show, but his reckless driving on the highway made them miss the show when he wrecked the car.

There isn't much that I liked or disliked about this episode.  In general, I liked that Stan and Francine didn't trust Hayley to watch over Steve at all.  I sometimes forget that they don't find her to be really reliable.  It must be because she tends to be the one most concerned with what's morally right that it makes me overlook the fact that she is sort of a flake and a wildcard.  However, she would have had an easy time watching Steve if she hadn't pushed his buttons in the first place.

It was nice to see Steve have a pretty successful night.  He managed to run away from Hayley (which was easy because she wasn't prepared to chase after Steve in the first place), get alcohol to ensure his ticket to a party, get a cute girl's number, and spend a few seconds at a cool party.  For him, that was about as good as it gets, even with a methhead threatening him with a gun because he didn't give him a receipt and said addict getting his head shot off in the room of the girl he just met.

If I had to pick something I liked, it might be that Snot kept telling people "you're doing great," when they were being questioned by a police officer in Jeff's van.  Everyone was certainly not doing great, but Snot is so damn positive.  I'm still enjoying him from the previous episode and just thinking that he's such an upbeat guy that he has no clue that they were gonna get so arrested.

After seeing the grim end to the former babysitter, Lindsay, it was sort of nice that her ghost ended up helping Hayley and Steve move Francine's car back to the house in time.  I don't know why she chose to help them, but it was only slightly random, so I could go along with it.  Her good deed as a ghost sort of made her death seem a little less sad and unnecessary.

As far as Stan and Francine's story, I didn't care for the way they were so horny about horses.  It was almost too gross, but not quite there.  I'm just surprised that with Roger taking the carriage on the highway that no one got hurt.  I never expected them to get to their show with Roger handling their transportation, but they did get to see some kind of horse show.  However, I feel like their story didn't really add much of anything.  And Roger's role was minimum so it was lacking comedy for me.

This was an okay episode.  I certainly didn't have much to complain about.  It was nice to see things go pretty well for Steve and see Hayley and Steve sort of get along.  I don't know how I feel about Lindsay dying for the sake to help Steve and Hayley (it seemed), but at least it was something different to see.  However, I didn't see the point in Stan and Francine's story at all.  It could have been filled with more of Steve enjoying the night being "wild" for once.

Let's Get Roger Locked Up

American Dad, S08E01

After hearing Hayley singing at his attic lounge, Roger became dangerously obsessed with Hayley.  Stan wanted to buy a new car, but couldn't find anyone to pay him at least 15,000 dollars for his old car.

I just have to say that Roger is so insane.  Like, it's weird to be saying that after everything else he's done, but when he was targeting Hayley he outdid himself a little.  First of all, he shot her and still showed up in her hospital room to bring her the disgusting gift of Christina Aguilera's larynx, which he played like a kazoo!  Eww!  Then he proceeded to knock out Hayley and kidnap her.  It was really gross watching him cuddle up on her with no clothes (though he usually is naked when he's himself).  It just looked like he was humping her, although Roger has mentioned that he has no genitals (but how does he have all that sex?).  Well, I didn't think it would get much worse from there until he decided to take Jeff's skin.  Ugh...  Seeing him in Jeff's skin was so gross!  Roger really needs to go to a place for the criminally insane.  I often think that he will end up killing them all one day (like he tried to do in a different episode in a sort of spoof of that movie Alien or whatever).

 The side story where Stan was stubbornly trying to sell his car wasn't funny until the very end of it where the lady was trying to escape the lion and crashed the car.  It was sick, but in a funny way, how the lion pounced and attacked her while they were both on fire until they both burned into ash.  That's not how I expected Stan to get over his car not being worth what he wished it to be at all.  I'm thankful for that story even though it wasn't hilarious just to distract me from how creepy Roger was.

I liked this episode even though it was disturbing.  It's interesting that Roger can get even more insane than he already is and all it takes is for him to fall in love.  I'm glad, though, that he got over Hayley in the end (when it was sort of far too late by that time).  I also think it was great that they started their season with a story about Roger because whether it's funny or creepy, it's still much better than stories about the other characters.  I can't wait to see what horrible things Roger is going to do the rest of this season!

You Make Me So Mad I Wanna Murder You!

Cougar Town, S01E02

Of course, this episode was the start of Jules' wedding planning.  I thought she might start with a lot of grand and crazy ideas of her vision, but she needed to accommodate some of her friends' needs first, like Ellie and Andy's need of a place to have sex during the event.  I liked that Grayson asked if he got a say about the wedding because it was his too, and the gang just laughs at him.  Only in a parallel universe would he be able to put his own two cents in.  I forgot that Jules is a people-pleaser and doesn't want anyone unhappy with her.  After all, she pretty much worn down Grayson from an disinterested neighbor to a fiance.

I admire Grayson for trying to fight back in the tiniest way, since his power is basically nonexistent with Jules around, by refusing to accept "Thanks, Babe" as an end to a conversation.  But I like how Ellie and Jules were confused at first why he was still there and hadn't listened  to Jules' command to go to go ask her dad for her hand.  Jules sweet talks him into going, so his little stand is pretty much pointless.

Grayson and Travis visiting Jules' dad was funnier than I expected because he soon asks Grayson to shoot one of his horses.  But in fact, he is just screwing with him and lets Travis in on the joke.  I wondered if it was just because he didn't like Grayson (which I could understand; he's not easily likeable), but it was because he wanted to test how far he'd go for the sake of his daughter.  Bobby had been a bad husband and he didn't want to see her with another unfit guy.  Compared to some other shows I've seen where the dad tested the new husband/boyfriend, I'd say Grayson got off easily.  Not that I wanted to see him shoot a horse, though.  But it was nice to see Travis and Jules' dad bonding together to play around with Grayson.  He got them back by almost shooting the horse.  Who wouldn't when Travis was questioning his manhood by asking how it was possible a grown man such as himself hadn't already killed a horse.  I loved when Travis said that in his monotone voice.

Also, Jules as an eavesdropping ninja, as Travis put it, was a nice joke.  I especially enjoyed her using his powers of stealth to pop up next to Bobby and Andy on the roof.  I would hate to have her as a friend because I feel like I'd want to talk about her, but would feel like I'd always have to check over my shoulder first.

Bobby was trying to express his approval of Jules and Grayson's engagement with the gift of zip-line, but that story was not that interesting to me.  I did think it was kinda cool when Jules finally used it and ended up landing on the hood of Laurie's car.  She took a pretty nice fall.

The best thing of the episode was Ellie and Andy's ritual of expressing murderous anger.  Whenever Ellie got so mad at Andy she wanted to kill him, she would just "do" it.  They would act out the killing moment, complete with blood and murder weapon, and Travis would photograph it.  Then they kept past "murder scenes" on their walls to remember them.  Man, I like that idea!  If only I could do that, but with my friends.  It's a pretty unusual, but entertaining way to channel out your fury.  And later you can laugh about it and realize how silly you were.  I mean, Andy just left the ice cream out too long; did he really need to be bludgeoned to death with a bat?

I won't really mention the whole co-maid of honor (Co-MOH) thing.  Of course, Jules would do that.  I do want to say that Ellie and Jules' relationship is so creepily close, it's funny.  Like how they both keep bags in their cars in preparation of running away together one day.  In a Thelma and Louise fashion?  They're a good match, though.  Someone very self-centered and someone who gets joy from making others happy.  You could easily imagine the two of them married, because they kinda are already (kinda like in Scrubs how Turk and JD were).

Wish there were more jokes that I liked, but that whole murder-pretending thing was good enough to satisfy me this time.  I wonder how ridiculous Jules is going to get soon about planning the wedding.  I hope it's something that even a whipped Grayson will have to fight against (though he won't win).