Award Whoring

American Dad, S08E09

Francine finally decided to cut off supporting Roger in all of his fake achievement, and Roger tried to win back her friendship by pretending to discover a lost mountain tribe.  Steve struggled to get Stan to answer some simple personal questions about himself so he could do his history report.

It's almost cute how much Francine will give Roger encouragement when she knows that all he does is pretend all day long.  So it's not a shock that he would have this huge collection of awards that he didn't deserve, including a fake degree.  I doubt that it's his first time pretending to graduate from a college.  Despite all of this it took quite a lot before Francine threw in the towel.  I would have already been like Stan and the others and not paying Roger any attention.

It was interesting to me that Roger seemed to cherish the self-made award that Francine awarded him more than the other awards that he had stolen.  There are times where Roger seems not to give a damn what people think about him at all, and then there are times he is so sensitive and wants to be beloved when he treats people any way that is convenient to himself.  At first, I was annoyed that he would again try to fool Francine with his little production with the tribe until Roger admitted how much he valued Francine's opinion.  It's more than her husband probably does, so I could see how Francine would be touched that Roger went to all of that trouble just to win back her favor.  Roger always seems to be going to great lengths to create his personas and fantasies that I think it does show how hard-working he can be.  It also shows how much of a psychopath he is, but if he's really determined to do something, he will take extraordinary and seemingly impossible steps to make it happen.  I agree that's worth a Frannie.

The main story wasn't really funny, but I sort of loved the side story about Steve and Stan.  First of all, Stan seemed so angry at Steve just for asking him a few questions.  I mean, he had this look of pure inconvenience before he even really knew what Steve was trying to do.  It just makes me laugh at the ease at which he can become perturbed.  The best part, however, was every time that Steve called Stan while he was at this Chinese restaurant (he must love that place), Stan kept saying these depressing and/or inappropriate things to him.  Stan was opening up finally, but not about anything that his son needed to hear from him.  It was especially bad when he was talking about his sex life with Francine.  I loved when Snot refused to let Steve end the call and steered the conversation to Francine's boobs:

[Snot] Dad, what do Mom's boobs look like?[Stan] I'll tell ya, Snot, they're perfect.

I like that Stan both wasn't fooled into thinking Snot was Steve and didn't care if Snot knew exactly how he felt about his wife's breasts.  He probably went on a very long discussion about that and other things with all those kids in the room.  So freaking funny.

In the end, I liked how Steve had lost all hope of getting his report done and showed his teacher exactly what happens when he tries to ask his father a simple question about his past.  I loved how disheartened the whole class looked after hearing Stan talk about how pointless life was and how he thought of ending it all.  And even when the teacher jumped out of the window, I thought it was funny.  Especially when he said:

Life dismissed.

There was also a good line at the beginning of the story after Stan told Steve to not even bother to do his history report:

[Klaus] It's high school, Steve.  It doesn't matter.[Steve] You said that about middle school.  When does it start to matter?[Klaus and Stan] Never.

Wise words from a bitter man and man stuck in a fish's body.

The last thing I sort of liked was Stan's admiration of Cuba Gooding, Jr.  He even sensed when he died and went to his funeral.  I bet if Steve had asked about CBJ's life, he might have been able to get a report.  That probably would have been better than sharing his father's dismal outlook on life with the class.

I liked this episode.  It's good to see that even though Roger will always be pretending, he doesn't really pretend to need Francine in his life.  Any episode where Roger isn't a complete ass is usually one I like a little better.  However, as far as the laughs went, I had to hand to Stan this week.  He was killing me with the TMI.  This story was a good indication of why the things Stan isn't saying freely are probably something better left unheard.

What If Bart Had Failed?

The Simpsons, S24E10

To cut costs, the school with the lowest standardized test scores would be shut down, and Springfield Elementary's only hope of staying open was determinate upon Bart's score on the test.  Homer also found a parking meter at the dump and was tricking people into paying it at various locations around town.

I actually would have liked to see what became of the kids if they were sent to different, horrible schools.  Although, since Springfield is the worst school in the state, it couldn't have been worse (at least academically).  I was sort of rooting for Bart to fail, which it looked like he was going to do because he didn't put an ounce of effort into studying.  It reminded me of that very earlier episode where Bart had to study really hard to stop himself from being held back.  He studied really hard and failed, but proved that he had learned something and got a little extra credit.  In this episode, he just had pure luck, and a bug happened to fill in the last question correctly for him.  I guess that's more likely than Bart doing well on a test through his own merits.  That, short of someone dressing up like Bart and taking the test for him, was one of the few ways it was going to work to keep the school open (status quo).  Again, though, I would have liked to see the kids at a different school for a brief moment.

This story wasn't really funny, but I did find myself laughing when Bart imagined that Groundskeeper Willie was lowering a dead Skinner from a flagpole and folding him into a triangle.  That was a little twisted, but for some reason I had to laugh.  I guess it was because it was such a serious moment for Bart and he was still thinking about screwing Skinner over.  No wonder they were ready to knock down the school as soon as the test was over--Bart was so freaking unreliable.

I also liked one line from the proctor concerning the kids' test results:

This place is worse than the elementary school in prison.  This student filled in everything but the ovals.

This story really reminded me of how dumb the kids are at that school.  With kids doing the direct opposite of what they're supposed to do in a test, I'm not entirely sure it's because of the lackluster staff that teach them that they can't even fill in circles.

Homer's story was sort of cute.  I mean, there's nothing like watching Homer going around trying to scam people for a quick buck, especially if it's in a way that seems more trouble than it's worth.  It reminds me of the time he had the telemarketing scam going on--he was right that this fake parking meter was his most successful business.  The thing that was dumb was that he went to spend the money at a bus station pay-TV.  He might as well have been tossing all the money he "worked" for down a well (which he did, in a disappointing conclusion).  Then again, I guess Homer couldn't very well go around town spending quarters like that when there was a news report about his illegal activities.  Still, it would have been nice to see him do something fun with that money before Marge found out and made him do the "right" thing.

Oh, I also thought the couch gag was nice.  Usually, I just ignore it and just wish the episode would start, but I liked seeing them make them sitting on the couch see like a dramatic, action-packed movie trailer.  The tagline "Don't get too comfortable" made me laugh.

This episode was a little better than some of the others just because it wasn't very annoying in any way really.  I tend to like the stories that revolve around the school, especially when the main character is going to be Bart.  He's shown that when push comes to shove, some kind of unbelievable luck will pull him through and never any kind of effort upon his part (at least where learning is concerned) will.  Homer and his parking meter were a great pair in business, but he barely even got to enjoy the fruits from his misdeeds.  I miss Homer trying all these bad ideas to get money outside of doing his own job properly--it feels like we don't get to see him doing nearly enough of that nowadays.

Yes, Chris Is An Idiot

Family Guy, S11E09

Chris caught Peter and Lois talking about how dumb he was, and they tried to rebuild his self-esteem by sending him to a camp.  Chris picked Space Camp, which was mistakenly put in his brochures to choose from, and he quickly found out that he was miserable there.  The family came to bring him home and got trapped in space when they toured an active space shuttle before leaving.

 Chris being dumb is nothing new.  There's been many episodes about him struggling in school and such, but this time he just got sent away to camp.  Even though he went to Space Camp, it still wasn't very interesting, overall.  I mean, it didn't even help that the family got sent into space by mistake.  That part just seemed really unlikely and too much of a stretch for me (which is saying a lot because Peter sent himself up into space at one point when he got free gasoline).  But I realize that their problem was just an excuse to show that Chris had learned something and wasn't as dumb as dirt.  That's all well and good, but it didn't do much for me in the comedy department.

The jokes didn't have much impact on me, but there were a few that stood out to me.  The first was the one about Nathaniel Hawthorne.  I did like that he remarked that he was writing stuff to ruin the ninth grade for everyone.  I'm pretty sure anyone who completed high school could relate to that.

The second was when Chris called from Space Camp and wanted to come home and Peter also called.  Apparently Stewie was bullying him at the gym.  I didn't expect it to be his own son, so that joke wasn't too bad either.

The last I thought that was semi-funny was when Peter was being passive-aggressive about his annoyance to come pick Chris up at camp:

We spent thousands of dollars to send you here and made two trips to Florida in four days.  I'm glad we had you.

Usually I don't like when Peter's being a backhanded asshole, but in this situation it worked.  I think because I can sort of imagine a lot of parents who think this sort of thing when they agree to retrieve their kids from camps and whatnot.  Personally, I would make his ass stay.  Or at least say something worse than Peter to make Chris feel bad about it.  Haha.

They poked some fun at two things that I approved of.  One was Bob's Burgers.  They were horrified that the picture of Bob was turned in for Chris's art project.  Sometimes I forget that they're on the same network because the shows are so different.  But it's nice that Family Guy can get around to mocking all of the cartoons on FOX and not just The Simpsons.  The second that they mocked was Russell Brand.  Can't stand his ass, and they made his success seem dependent on simply an accent rather than his talents.  Even if they were just kidding, I agree with that.

There were also some racist jokes that I didn't care for.  The one about not being the black guy to stay alive wasn't too bad, but I think the one about the Chinese guy in the Japanese company was as bad as I was hoping it wouldn't be.  Really?  We have to show a guy with the hat, the teeth, and the water buffalo?  But I guess if they want to make sure that it's seen as a joke, they needed to go a little over the top.  Still, it would have been nice for them to do the opposite of what I was thinking they would do.  

Last, I just wanted to say it was kinda gross that Chris wanted to watch Peter and Lois have sex.  Uh, eww!  Even if he was curious, it's so freaking creepy.  And he was being obvious about it by listening by the door (which they should have closed if they were going to bad mouth any of their kids--they should know by now that they don't have any privacy with kids floating around).

I didn't care for this episode too much.  The jokes weren't that great and it focused too much on Chris.  He's not particularly boring, but we have seen a few stories already about him being an idiot and proving that he's probably not as bad as at least his father.  I'm just thankful it wasn't a Meg episode--the last one made me content not to see anything about her for a good while.

Winston Wins My Heart By Cutting Down A Child

New Girl, S01E14

 Well, it's finally happened--I found an episode where I liked Winston.  For once, he wasn't just an afterthought on this show, offering a few almost funny lines from time to time and boring stories.   I thought it was a fluke the first time he got me to chuckle, but he was pretty consistently hilarious this time.

Before I get into Winston, I want to talk about Schmidt and Cece continuing seeing each other.  I was surprised that Cece is addicted to Schmidt, despite he is pretty repulsive.  The sex is obviously good between them, but when he was comparing himself to a river and her being a canoe, I wanted to gag a little.  Yet, somehow it failed to send her packing.  I wanted to feel bad for Schmidt, but his mouth wouldn't stop making me cheer for Cece to run far away.  I did feel a little for him when he had to stay in her car while she went to a party, but it soon went away.  I guess in the next episode they will announce their relationship to their friends.  As long as Schmidt doesn't run up the wall and give them way too much information about the nature of their sex as he did in the Chinese restaurant, he might have a chance to get approval, rather than incredulous protest, from the others.

Now onto Winston.  He had me grinning when he said he liked meeting the girls Schmidt brought home by pretending to be his downlo lover.  Oh, God, how I would like to see that!  But I was really laughing when he and Nick were talking about the meaning of the cactus Julia had sent to him.  Nick, obviously a person who over-analyzes things, thinks that the plants means that Julia wants to break up with him:

[Winston] Who told you that? Did the cactus tell you that? Is this one of those fortune-telling cactus?

Later, after Jess describes a bully problem in her class, Winston says that he used to be a bully as a kid.  Not a stretch at all.  He seems like that type, with his lack of emotions and need to compete with others.  Obviously he has grown as a person, but he still has that mean vibe about him.  That being said, I was pretty shocked in an amused way to see Winston leap out of his seat in order to look at the crescent moon outside.  While Jess questions why they are so excited about seeing it, Winston longingly looks into the sky and says that he hopes to live there one day.  Wow.  Where did that comes from?  It's the first time I've thought he was kinda cute besides the one time he bonded with a child at Schmidt's Christmas party.

Winston was also good as the support for both Jess and Nick in this episode.  Jess had broken a bitchy, evil student's robot arm after the little brat asked her several rude questions including why Jess' voice was so deep and why did she break up with her last boyfriend.  She needed Winston's help to fix it and all he brought were his "good scissors."  Ha.  With Nick, Julia did end up breaking up with him (finally--knew they wouldn't last, especially after Valentine's Day) because Nick's voicemails made her realize that was what she really wanted.  So Nick was in a very, very fragile state and needed a friend by his side.  Schmidt was too busy sneaking around with Cece, so Winston had to do.  Nick was so scary, it was hilarious.  He was way too cheerful and uncharacteristically positive that you knew he was going to explode with despair and possibly rage that no one wanted to be on the other side of.

This forced Winston to come to Jess' science fair at her school along with Nick.  It's interesting that two guys who definitely weren't there to see their own children were allowed to walk around, as crazy as they were being (Nick anyway).  The best thing that happens there is that Winston steps in to say what Jess can't say about how "difficult" the bratty student, Brianna, is:

[Winston] Your daughter sucks.  She is a demon seed, she is the spawn of Satan, and I do believe I speak for the entire human race when I say that people like her should not be building robots.

[Brianna's Mother #2] Who are you?

Applause!  I can't believe Jess didn't give him five for that.  Who cares about being professional; that girl is horrible!  She's obviously smart, so why does she need to act like an asshole?  Anyway, this is one of my favorite moments in New Girl so far.  It's right up there with the awkward threesome with Remy.

The last good thing Winston did in this episode was snatch his "good scissors" (what are they doing laying around for children to get??) from Nathaniel:

 Eh! Get my scissors outta your mouth! What is wrong with you??

No wonder the kids in class didn't like him.  I was happy that this boy, though, seemed to be free from being the class target, and Jess had become the point of ridicule.  I didn't care much for the youtube video Brianna had made of her, but I loved that Jess got further revenge on Brianna by making her sing with her in front of the class.  That'll teach her!  I hope that girl doesn't pop up in any more episodes, even though I want to see more of Jess at her job.  I feel like someone as child-like as her would have some interesting adventures with her students.

Oh, and Nick walking around with the cactus plant he had abused in his dazed-out, happy mode was wonderful.  He was even sleeping with it.  I kinda want him to keep that mangled plant for while.

Great episode.  The Valentine's Day one set my expectations low this time, so it was nice to be blown away for a change.  I knew this show couldn't disappoint me for too long!