Schmidt Presents "Tinfinity"

New Girl, S02E18

Schmidt and Nick celebrated their tenth roommate anniversary with an elaborate party.  Nick wanted to be part of the planning, but Schmidt only pretended to give up some of his control.  Jess was determined to stop thinking about Nick's lips and frustrated about not knowing what he was thinking, so she latched onto a "real man" who was more open about his feelings.  Cece was disappointed at how casually her marriage proposal came about with Shivrang.

It's just like Schmidt to throw a party that most people would mistake as a celebration for lovers rather than friends.  It's sort of cute that he values his friendship with Nick so much that he would want to make a big deal out of each year that they've spent together.  I'm a little surprised that their friends were down with it, though--I'd be questioning why two grown men who aren't together need to throw a party that wasn't just about drinking and dancing (or hooking up with random girls).   But people seemed to have no problem doing things like taking pictures in the Nick and Schmidt photo cutouts (super weird, even if it was for a married couple).

I guess the best thing about the party was Nick's contribution of a purchased porta-potty.  I might understand someone who often holds outside parties wanting to have one on hand, but not someone like Nick who probably doesn't even have a place to put that after the party is over with.  If it were of good quality, I guess he could rent it out to other people, but it was disgusting to look at from the outside--I couldn't imagine even washing my hands in there.  It's so like Nick to buy the one that was meant for the garbage and be so proud of it that he was trying to bully people into using it.  I really like when he was trying to get Sanders to use it and gave him the ultimatum of using it or leaving the party.  Sanders left without a second thought.  You would think people literally running away from his porta-potty would give him a sign that he made a really dumb and filthy purchase.

I liked that Jess is so obsessed with Nick's lips, but would rather run from that problem than do something about it (like kiss Nick some more to get it out of her system).  Her solution was to flirt aggressively with Jax (which might have been partially because she wanted to screw with Winston a bit), who seemed to be exactly what she wanted--a man who could tell her straight up if he liked her or not.  It was interesting both that Jax turned out to be exactly what she didn't want, and that Nick was acting a little jealous of Jax.  Although Jess didn't get to kiss someone who could erase her memory of Nick, Jax turned out to be a significant guy in the scheme of things.  He proved that Jess probably does like Nick's "grumpy mystery" better than a guy who declares that he is going to marry and put a baby in her in less than a few days or knowing her.  I liked when Nick, trying to hide that he didn't like Jess with Jax, asked her if she truly wanted a guy who was open like that.  I liked that moment as much as I liked when he was staring at Jess and Jax at the bar with concern.  Jess didn't get the cure she needed to stop thinking about Nick's lips, so she ran off in the night after being offered a bottle he had drank from.  It'd be nice if all the guys she tries to get involved with put her right back where she started with Nick.

Before Jess met Jax, she met some random guys and had a good line with the second one we saw:

[Guy #2] Microchips be gettin' smaller.  They be like blueberry size.  So you could put 'em in your cereal, girl.

[Jess] I don't get your thing.

 No wonder she ran to the first "normal" guy that she ran into after that.  What in the world was that guy talking about?

I've decided that I like Shivrang, even though he kept using the expression "do this thing" to refer to getting married.  The first time he said it I felt like it was such a passive way to refer to marriage, but then again, they are having an arranged marriage.  I don't mind that, but it would be nice if they made it seem less like going to get a mole removed and more about joining their lives together.  Anyway, when he got on the stage and proposed to Cece with all of the toast sequence stuff going on (can't believe that Schmidt wanted that romantic display going on during his speech), I thought that was really sweet.  He asked her again if she wanted to "do this thing," but by then it sounded just right and less mechinical.  I'm glad that things worked out for Cece, but I am a little sad that Schmidt had to see that at his "Tinfinity" event.  Shivrang stole his moment in two senses--he ruined his big speech and he ruined his chance to propose to Cece in a big flashy way.  You can't blame Shivrang for that, though.  I'm a little in the middle right now whether I want Shivrang to suceed or if I want Schmidt to make a comeback. Schmidt's heart is in the right place, but he can't get it together.  Shivrang may not be beating Cece over the head with the romance stick, but he's a good guy with no drama.  Can''t be mad at her for going either way.

This was a good episode. Somehow the party became more about Nick taking a stand with a gross porta-potty he bought than having a good time.  Jess tried to run away from Nick's lips to another, but found that a guy who is too open is just as bad as a guy who is a little closed up like Nick.  Cece was sort of swept off her feet when Shivrang redid his proposal to her, and the slightly odd friendship anniversary party turned to an engagement party of some sorts.  I don't know if Cece will really go ahead and walk down the aisle for Shivrang, but it's just as likely that she will as it is that Schmidt will win her back somehow.

The Kiss's Many Effects

New Girl, S02E16

Jess and Nick couldn't face each other after the kiss, so they both tried to avoid each other by spending time with their friends.  Unfortunately, they ended up running to the same place, a marriage convention.  Schmidt attended so that he could stop Cece from finding a husband there, but he ended up defending her when the table placing made Cece look like an outcast.

I should have known that neither Jess nor Nick would be able to play off such a passionate kiss like it was nothing.  I didn't think that Nick would resort to moonwalk retreating from Jess, though.  I really loved when he kept doing that because it's such an flashy way to run away from someone, at least when Nick does it.  It doubles the attention you would get from just walking away normally.

Winston also had a funny reaction to hearing about their kiss.  He surprised me both by hitting Nick in the balls and telling him that Nick would have to move out if he didn't make it right.  I know that Nick isn't the best roommate in the world, but I thought for sure he would stick by his childhood friend's side.  That was great.

Another great moment in this story was when Jess and Nick had to make that table out of newspaper and tape.  Despite them bickering through the whole activity, they made the strongest table.  I liked seeing Nick jump on the table to prove that it would break and it remained intact under Nick's weight and another guy's.  It was nice to see like a physical piece of evidence that Jess and Nick would make a strong couple.

 Before that, Nick said something really funny about their kiss, which was great not only because it was a flimsy argument but it also showed that he's oddly attracted to Jess:

You have to take a little responsibility!  Tarting around in that little, soft, pink robe and not expecting to get kissed!  I'm a man, Jessica!  Pink robes are my catnip!

What man can't control himself when he sees a girl in a pink robe?  What?  The weirdest things turn Nick on, and I love it.

I was glad that Jess didn't try to lie about the kiss to Sam, but I felt bad that he wanted nothing to do with her as soon as he heard about it.  I thought Jess might get some time to explain or something, but he was done with her pretty much the second she ended her sentence about Nick.  Sam continued the series of surprises in this story when he swiftly punched Nick in the chest when Nick came along to defend Jess.  Wow.  He got his one hit on Nick, said his piece and was out.  That is not how I imagined the end of their relationship, and the speedy end actually made me a lot more sad than I had thought.  I mean, Jess got dumped pretty hard.  Plus, it wasn't like she was going to run into Nick's arms right after that, so it wasn't painless for her.

I did love Nick's dancing to a Taylor Swift song while Jess was drinking in sorrow.  He has such gaudy and strange dance moves!  If it were me, I would have forgiven him instantly after seeing that.  It was cute that he wanted to cheer her up, and I sort of wish that Jess would have laughed at him like I had.  Later, though, I was disappointed that Nick looked like he was going to break his promise to not to kiss her again, but he only hugged Jess in an unnatural way.  I guess that's just how it's going to be between the two of them for a while.  I doubt they'll let down their pride and admit how much they like each other for real.

Schmidt, on the other hand, has no pride at all showing up at the Indian Marriage Convention dressed in traditional Indian clothes.  Nick was too busy running from his problems to comment on how ridiculous he looked, so I was happy that Winston managed to get the job done:

You look like the fortune-teller in Big.

 However, Winston didn't look too bad in the white shirt he was wearing, but Nick looked just as bad as Schmidt (I don't think Nick can pull off any hat, really).  It's no wonder that the coordinator at the convention was literally all over Winston's ass.  I loved seeing that, even if he's sorta with Daisy now.  That lady was super-aggressive, and it made Winston a little uncomfortable.  I would have liked to see him get with her.

I wasn't really moved by the grand speech that Schmidt made to defend Cece at the end, but I did like how he ended it:

You people could have had it all.   And you shoved her over there at a table with Nick.  Get your crap together, India.

I liked that he brings up Nick like everyone knows who he is.  It was just generally interesting in the first place that Nick and Cece were seated at the same table.  I never thought of her life choices being similar to Nick.  That's a wake up call, if I ever saw one.  It made me notice that she is the type of person to just go from one thing to the next without much planning.  I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but apparently it didn't make her the most attractive wife candidate.  It's pretty surprising considering how beautiful she is.  Guess looks will only get you so far.  Damn.

Schmidt and Cece ended up sleeping with each other again.  They might have missed doing that, but I sure haven't.  It hasn't been long enough since the last time we had to hear Schmidt talk about their sex, nor see the two of them jump into bed.  Gross.  I mean, I'm happy they're sort of back together because I'm tired of Schmidt stalking her, but I'll never get used to how dirty Schmidt makes everything they do in the bed sound.

This was a good episode, full of a lot of reactions that I didn't expect.  I mostly didn't calculate that Sam and Jess would be over so soon after the kiss was done.  That was good for the sake of Jess and Nick in the future, but I couldn't help but feel bad for Jess getting tossed away in a blink of an eye.  I liked Sam enough that I could have tolerated them at least trying to work it out.  I'm not too much overjoyed to see Schmidt and Cece working their way back to a shared bed.  I haven't missed the filthy things I have to see and hear regarding that.  I just wish that Nick and Jess would stop being so ashamed of their love.  They need to turn all this awkward energy resisting each other into an awkward power couple!

Call Him Pop-Pop

New Girl, S02E13

Nick's dad came into town and got Jess involved in a scam to buy a horse and sell its sperm.  Nick got involved with the shady deal, worried that Jess would be bled dry if he left his father alone to do as he pleased.  Schmidt also teamed up with Robby to scheme to get Cece back and the two unexpectedly bonded with each other.

I really liked Nick's dad.  Mostly because he drove Nick crazy.  His appearance also explained a lot of why Nick isn't the most put together adult you would find.  But as Jess commented at the end of the episode, it's really impressive that with a dad who would just roll into town to con some people out of money and not really try to connect with his son on any level, that Nick isn't running the streets operating crooked games or something.  More important than that, Nick, who is usually a little high-strung about less serious things ,was extra strung out with his father around.  I love to see that, so I welcomed Walt's presence.

One of my favorite things that frustrated Nick was that Winston was in love with Walt.  I guess not having a father around himself he sort of adopted Nick's dad as his own.  He even gave him an adorable nickname, "Pop-pop," which Nick absolutely hated.  I really loved each time he would call Walt that and any time that Nick would plead Winston to stop doing that.

It was also funny how Jess was the absolute worst person to be hanging around Walt.  He was playing her like a fiddle and Jess had no clue until she had given him hundreds of dollars on a horse of questionable value.  I sometimes forget how trusting and guillible Jess is until someone comes along to take advantage of her good nature.  My favorite example of her excessive faith in anyone was best illustrated when Nick showed his dad:

[Nick] Dad, she will believe anything.[Jess] That’s not true, Nick.
[Nick] My real name is Jamil.[Jess] It is?
[Nick] No, my name is not Jamil![Jess] Nick, that was not fair.[Nick] It is Nick, you know that![Jess] You told me in confidence.[Nick] How could you think my name was Jamil?

 It's sweet and makes you laugh that someone could be bordering on stupidity with how much they want to trust people at their word.

In the Schmidt story, I expected that I was just going to see him make an ass of himself and make Cece hate him even more, but instead he started a weird friendship with Robby.  I can see how they would bond over their mutual love for Cece (neither of them is probably a great fit for her--they were both dating up).  However, it was ridiculous how they were stalking her and showed up at her house uninvited when Cece was having a family get-together with Pavun and her relatives.  Weirder than that, Schmidt thought an orgy was going on--what??  I think he just had dirty things on his mind from the beginning because he saw Cece in the sari and got excited, which was evident from him trying to describe one of his gross sexual fantasies--eww.  They were lucky that no one ended up kicking their asses for their rude and unwanted appearance.  I think their man-hug made them guess they were more stupid than they were dangerous.

The best thing about Robby and Schmidt getting together was that although Schmidt was dedicated in helping Robby, he made it very clear that he was going to help him to help himself.  He kept talking about smiting him when the time was right.  That was really funny, especially because Robby made it clear he wasn't going to go along with that part, but he didn't mind trusting Schmidt until that day came.  Robby is an amazingly easy-going guy.  If it was me, I'd not join forces with a guy who kept talking about destroying me in the future (but Robby might believe that Schmidt won't win even if he tries, so maybe he's just confident himself).

This was a pretty cute episode.  I liked getting an idea of how Nick's childhood might have been, and why he's been committed to acting like an old man his whole life.  It was really funny to have Walt around to see Winston showing him misplaced affection and Jess eating up any lie that he threw her way.  I'm looking forward to him coming back for another con some day.  Schmidt and Robby are lucky they have each other because neither of them has Cece, that's for sure.  They might want to just concentrate on their friendship rather than getting her back--don't think any plan they would come up with has a shot in hell to work.

Love Is As Real As Black Santa

New Girl, S02E11

Jess got the others to hang out with her at multiple parties, the last night they would be all together before the holidays started.  She unexpectedly ran into Sam at the first party and tried to avoid him while he tried to convince her to take him back.  Nick had a hard time adjusting to Angie's wild and fearless style.  Schmidt and Cece argued about how they had ended things after Schmidt had told her he loved her.  Winston had trouble hearing after he got a cranberry in his ear.

I was just as surprised as Jess to see Sam at the first party the group went to.  I just never thought we'd see him again.  I was a little hopeful for the two because while Sam isn't Nick, he and Jess did make a cute couple.  Also, I felt bad for Jess who put her heart out on the line and got shot down.  It was nice to see Sam pursuing her to the point it almost seemed like stalking her.

My favorite thing about the drama between Sam and Jess was when Jess pretended to be unavailable by using Winston as her new lover:

[Jess] I'm in love.  

[Sam] What?

[Jess] With Winston.

[Sam] What?

[Jess] We've lain together.

[Winston] No, yeah--I mean, I dunno how it happened.  It just got stuck up there so far so quickly.

[Jess] The relationship.

[Winston] You know, sometimes when we're hanging out it can get a little rough.

[Jess] Oh, boy does it.

[Winston] Yeah.

[Sam] Oh, well, I didn't know that, so...

[Winston] What's going on?  I feel like I'm missing something.

 I liked that Sam actually bought that story and confessed to Winston that he thought Winston was his biggest competition with Jess living with three guys.  Apparently "Metrosexual Jones" and "Sweatshirt Guy" didn't intimidate him in the least.  I love how he not only counted out Schmidt and Nick, but gave them those funny nicknames.  Jess might have gotten away with fooling Sam if Winston hadn't realized what was going and did the least convincing breakup speech ever.  He was way too dramatic, as if he was in some kind of ghetto soap opera, and even called her a honkey.  Really, Winston?  But I knew that if Sam had any kind of brains, Winston's little show would definitely tell him that he and Jess were only pretending.

I have no idea why, but when Jess almost got pulled over and was pouring her guts out to this kindly-looking, bearded old man, it was touching when he said that he believed her.  He just told her that sometimes people tell the truth and let her go off.  That guy wasn't Santa Claus, but he was super nice and made Jess believe again.  I think Jess needed some kindness to restore her faith.

The part when the whole gang went to the hospital was sort of dumb, even with them all singing badly so that they could pretend to be a choir.  However, I did like when Angie showed her boobs and Nick had to pull away Schmidt from looking.  Then Winston casually came back for a look and that really made it funny.

I don't know how much I love Nick and Angie together.  I do agree with Jess that she could be good for him, though, because he is a chicken and Angie's bravery might rub off on him.  I did like when he confessed a lot of his flaws to her like being poor, having written a terrible zombie novel, and being obsessed with karate.  His lap dance after that was just embarrassing!  It was like he was about to take a dump on her or something, the way he was pushing out his butt.  But that scene was made better when Schmidt came over to show Angie how it was done and Nick started slapping Schmidt's dumb ass.  I really think that Schmidt would be a dancer if he ever got fired from his job.

Also, when Nick and Angie got exposed making out in the sleigh, Nick shouted out, "This is my nightmare" for the second time.  The last time was when he was being attacked by all the monsters and ghouls in the haunted house.  He has a lot of holiday-related nightmares.

There was a really good line, too, from Nick in this episode after he had insulted Angie about being a stripper and she had stormed off:

Nick Miller, turning lemonade into lemons since 1981.

I am totally going to steal that phrase as my own.  I just have to change the year because I wasn't even born yet.  Haha.

For all the bickering and cold attitude between Cece and Schmidt, I think that they were a lot more civil than they could have been.  Schmidt was really grumpy and a big Scrooge (which that part probably had nothing to do with Cece, though), but Cece was trying her best to be friendly.  She could have been really angry that he seemed to be unreliable when it was most important for her to know that he was serious.  Still, with all of her good will attempts, I think it's weird she would give him a present to thank him for telling her he loved her.  I don't know.  I just don't think that a gift, no matter how thoughtful, will easily mend Schmidt's heart.  But he accepted it because obviously his love for her is true.  I mean, he wouldn't be so hurt about how things had turned out if he didn't.  I'm glad they ended up getting on friendlier terms again, but I'm dying to know what's going to happen with Cece and her arranged partner.  That hasn't been addressed yet, and I hope that it will when the show returns next month.

With all this other drama going on with the couples, it's interesting to me that Winston was the one who was the funniest to me.  As soon as he got that cranberry in his ear and kept talking so damn loud, he had me laughing every time he opened his mouth.  He really started to sound like some old man who had gone deaf in an ear, especially when he had rolled up a piece of paper or something and put it to his ear to hear better.  Winston is usually kind of quiet, so when he raises his voice, it's hilarious.  Also, he kept ruining things for Jess.  First, he basically screamed out her location when she was trying to hide behind Cece and Schmidt, and then he spoke so loud in the closet (or bathroom?) Jess and he were hiding in and revealed her location again.  I really loved that, especially when he was too deaf to realize that Jess was using him as a fake boyfriend.

This was a great episode, especially for a Christmas story.  They managed to fit in Santa without it being corny or unfunny.  It was really cute how they all believed in Santa at that moment and how it helped bring Jess to her senses about giving Sam another chance.  I think that Sam is a decent stand-in for Nick until Jess or Nick realize they're meant for each other.  I'm anxious to see who Cece is going to date (or marry, I guess) in place of accepting Schmidt's love.  I know it will be funny if Schmidt can come between that arrangement somehow.  Nick will probably become a little less chicken if Angie sticks around, but I'm still not over the moon about him being with her.  Winston, as usual, unexpectedly brought me the most laughs.  That cranberry in his ear is one of the best things that could have happened to him.

A Big Tub Of Crazy

New Girl, S02E10

Winston and Jess worked together to sneak a tub on the roof and tried to cover up the damage it caused to Schmidt's suits with fake robberies.  Nick decided to break his rule about crossing the bar to meet a girl he was interested in and got in the middle of her drama.  Schmidt professed his love to Cece and wanted to show her that he was serious about being a relationship with her that involved children.

I'm not surprised that Winston was the one that wanted the tub out of all of the guys.  He has a weird sensitive side about him that differs from the one that Schmidt has.  I am surprised, though, with him being involved in a scheme that he wasn't a little more level-headed than Jess was.  I mean, to agree that they should fake a robbery by meth-heads was a really bad idea that no one should have been on board with.  I guess with Schmidt's precious suits being damaged, Winston just lost his cool and went to Crazytown.  If they had thought of a better idea of explaining why Schmidt's suits disappeared in the first place, they wouldn't have to resort to a fake robbery.  I thought Schmidt was smart, but he didn't really question the robbery at all.  But maybe he was smarter than them because he did have the security camera in his room (although he seemed to use it only for gross purposes).

Winston further surprised me by increasing his freaking-out level to naked man on the roof patio.  I actually loved the flashback when Winston had his first case of the "willies" where he ran out of his car during a driving test.  If I was him, I don't know if I could recover from such an embarrassing end to a test.

Besides that flashback, I also enjoyed seeing Remy again.  He was only there for two brief moments, but each time, he managed to extend the invitation for some 3-way sex.  I love how creepy he is!  He's the best super ever.  

One last thing about this story that stood out to me was Winston being relieved that Jess is as crazy as he is.  Um, hello.  He didn't just meet Jess yesterday.  They're all crazy in that apartment!  They've proven that time and time again.  But I guess Winston just thought she was quirky until she got trapped into a closet and began shrieking inside of it like she was buried alive.  I suppose that's on the level of getting the willies and stripping down to your briefs in a panic.

Nick's story was just full of red flags.  Like, he should have never spoken to Angie in the first place.  But my favorite part of that story was when Mike came looking for Nick and Nick pretended to be named "Ricardo" and was blabbering in Spanish (or something that sounded like Spanish).  That was both a cowardly and funny defensive move for him to make.  Mike did look like someone who didn't mind busting someone's head, so maybe that was the best course of action.

I also liked when Nick was in the middle of Angie and another stripper's fight and he said:

I'm super aroused!  I think I just became a dirtbag!

After all that craziness, I never thought he would see Angie again, but apparently she's going to be around for a little while?  I mean, a kiss doesn't guarantee that he's got a new girlfriend, but it does look good for him.  I'm disappointed that he's not looking Jess's way, but it's not so bad that he has someone to temporarily cuddle with until he gets to his senses.

I'm also disappointed that Schmidt blew it with Cece.  Like Nick said, we all knew that he was in love with her, so him telling Cece so seemed like he had a good shot restoring their relationship.  Especially since Schmidt is ready to have kids immediately.  I can't blame Cece for taking Schmidt's commitment toward her with a grain of salt and cutting him off when he stood her up for dinner to drink with his boss and former sex buddy.  Cece has to start thinking about her future and the way Schmidt is acting, she can't be sure that he's not going to set her up for a future that only exists in a dream.  I didn't like seeing Schmidt so crushed.  He went from calling the bathtub a "medieval flilth couldren" to not giving a damn that Winston and Jess wanted to get one.  I prefer the Schmidt who is happily flipping through a binder of pictures of himself in suits and talking about summer condoms than a heartbroken one.  He's gross, but he has feelings.  I hope that Schmidt gets one last chance to prove himself to Cece before her arranged marriage gets finalized.

This wasn't the funniest episode, but it was still good.  I'd like to see Jess and Winston team up again one day.  They're an unusual pair, but they seem to have some things in common when it comes to their brand of crazy.  Not too thrilled about Nick dating Angie, but it is what it is.  I'm confident that someone who dates a thug like Mike and picks fights with her fellow strippers won't stay in Nick's life for too long.  Schmidt needs to hurry up and make one last grand gesture to get Cece back.  As much as I dislike his sexy talk with Cece, Schmidt and Cece are made for each other, and I can't stand to watch Cece end up with someone she doesn't love.

Ticking Clock

New Girl, S02E09

Jess decided to find out how many eggs she had left after her friend Sadie suggested that her age was putting her at a huge disadvantage to get pregnant.  Nick tried to finish his zombie novel, but was procrastinating at the zoo and interrupting Winston's sleep.  Schmidt failed to satisfy his boss in bed.

This episode wasn't as much funny as it was a little sad.  You had Jess freaking out about not being able to have any good eggs left by the time she met someone she loved to father her child, Nick wandering around drunk at a zoo in an attempt to live the life of a writer, and Schmidt defeated in the place he's most confident about--the bedroom.  You even had to feel a little bad for Winston because he was just trying to get to sleep and Nick kept bugging him with his novel (although, I think he just needed the support from Winston).  I just kept hoping there would be a little ray of hope at the end for them all (not so much Schmidt, though).

It was good that Jess ended up being a better egg producer than she feared, but it was sad that Cece found out that she was on a much shorter clock than her friend.  And when she talked to Robbie about having kids, he was imagining it a decade away.  Wow.  Ten years??  How old is Robbie?  Or is that just a guy thing and they just don't really feel the pressure to hurry up and have children like women do?  Man, I felt even worse for Cece at that point.  I mean, I don't really love the idea of her even having kids with Robbie, but to hear that he wasn't thinking about kids any time soon at all was disappointing.  It also made me think that if she were still with Schmidt, he'd probably jump at the idea to have her child.  I mean, he was so gun-ho when the two of them had that scare last season.  Also, he was the first to volunteer his sperm to Jess (barf!).  I'd hate to see Cece miss out on motherhood if it's something she really wanted, even if it meant that there would be a Schmidt baby running around.  I think after a while Cece's happiness would outweigh the ick factor of the father.

Nick was kinda funny with his inability to write, but not so much that I laughed aloud.  I think his funniest moment was when Jess came into his room while waiting for Winston to finish reading his novel and he jokingly (maybe?) told her that he knew she would pick him to father her baby.  I also liked that Jess played along with him for a moment and mocked trying to kiss him.  Those two are so cute...  But I was a little disappointed that his process of writing a horrible zombie novel wasn't funnier.  It felt like all the pieces were there, but it didn't really come together.  It was a little funny when Winston was reading a some of it.  I would have liked to hear him read more in that voice of his.

Winston's other almost funny moment was when he suggested that he would be the best father for Jess' baby on the grounds of the best looking features.  I never imagined that Winston would jump in there and offer to get her pregnant, but I guess it was slightly an opportunity to brag about how handsome he was, so it didn't seem too odd.  Plus, all the guys have admitted that they have thought about sex with Jess before, so it's not that crazy.  Although, sex and a baby are two different things.

This episode definitely could have been funnier.  It was a little more serious than I wanted it to be.  I think that now that Schmidt has realized the depths of his love for Cece and Cece is more conscious of her baby clock, the chances of them getting back together is a little higher than before.  I don't know if Jess will get more serious about finding the right guy, but I wish that she could see that Nick could be that guy.  There were little hints of their attraction, as always, but I want another episode where the two of them have to really explore their feelings for each other and do something about it already.

Nick, The Old Man, And The Pool

New Girl, S02E07

Schmidt turned off the gas in order to motivate Jess to get a job, but she bombed an interview due to what she thought was just PMS.  Nick started to find inner peace when he met a stranger in the park who took him to a relaxation pool.  Schmidt was offered to have kinky sex with a coworker and also consulted with Cece about whether she was a nice girl.  Winston felt like he was having sympathy PMS from Jess.

I didn't agree with Schmidt's methods of motivating Jess, but I guess it's not out of his character to be a jerk (in fact, we expect it out of him).  However, I was more inclined to agree with Schmidt that she needed to get a job when she was playing the period card as excuse why she couldn't get hired.  I don't believe women should so easily use things like PMS to excuse why they're acting amiss.  It's a difficult card to play and should only be used when extremely appropriate and Jess was basically trying to hide her depression and lowered self-value (and lashing out at her roommates unjustly).  I'm glad that Nick opened her eyes to this fact and after her pretty funny failure of an interview (where she was sobbing over a cat in a cup that had died), he encouraged her to try again.  The "new" Nick was really the one to credit in her being employed again.

The best thing about this episode was no question Nick meeting an old man in the park and having this sort of deep conversation with him while the man said nothing.  Simply writing down what Nick said doesn't even begin to do justice to how hilarious this scene was, so I included a clip:

It was almost like he had an imaginary friend he was talking with because the old man didn't say a word to him until much, much later (and then nothing after that again).  Nick really brought his A game to this story when the rest weren't really doing anything for me comedy-wise.  I also loved when Nick and his new best friend went to the pool and he gave him this really awkward massage in the water or something.  That was really good.  I'm not sure why Nick thought that after only one experience in the pool he was capable of performing that technique on Jess (which was even more awkward), but I loved it because it was a disaster.  Nick got another chance to perform the massage on Winston and it was no more successful or less clumsy.  I'm glad they ended the episode with them all at the pool again because it was the heart of the episode for me.

It was a little weird that Winston thought he was having PMS too, but I wish it hadn't been because he missed Shelby.  I guess technically he should be distraught, but from my perspective I couldn't imagine thinking about her crazy ass again.  Like, the relationship needed to be gone.  But I guess being single just doesn't sit well with Winston, regardless of how appropriate his breakup was.

The only thing I can say about Schmidt's story was how proud I was that Cece didn't just slip back into the twisted world of Schmidt again.  They will always have this connection, but I just think she could do better than him.  Also, I just don't want to hear them being nasty again because it's just a little too much to stomach.  However, it does let me know that Cece probably isn't going to be with Robby much longer if she can kiss Schmidt again for even a second.  She's gonna be tempted because whether she thinks so or not, she's not a nice girl.

I'm not sure if I'm too excited about Jess' new job.  I hope that she does have some kind of interesting tales from it or meets someone from having it.  Otherwise, it just prevents her from moping around the house from now on.  Nick, as usual, is continuing on his crazy journey to bettering himself that I am loving intensely.  Just when I think he can't be any weirder, he finds a new outlet and I'm rolling.  Can't imagine what else Nick has in store for this show.

The Truth Packs A Punch

New Girl, S02E06

Jess learned more about Sam and wanted to have a real relationship with him once she developed feelings for him.  Winston hoped that dressing up sexy for Halloween would put the spark back between him and Shelby.  Schmidt tried to create a wedge between Robbie and Cece.  Nick's old flame Amelia came to town and he finally made the moves on her.

I don't remember if they did a Halloween story last year, but I didn't really love this one.  It was an important episode because everyone seemed to stop playing around and tell the truth about some of their current romances.  I'm glad that the air has been cleared so that the gang can move on.

I feel like Jess coming clean about liking Sam for real (though that was no shock because she wears her heart on her sleeve) was the saddest.  He seemed like a great guy who loves kids and would mesh well with Jess, but he just wasn't looking for the same thing she was.  I have no doubt that she can do better than him, but you felt like there was some potential there.  However, at least it frees her up for Nick who is still dragging his feet about his feelings for her.

This episode proved that Nick has always been this way about liking someone.  He had practically done everything under the sun to show that he was in love with Amelia in the past except come out and profess his love for her (or simply just ask her out on a date).  Luckily, with Amelia's subpar kissing techniques Nick probably dodged a bullet not immediately hooking up with her.  But at least he let her know about that, even if he paid the price with a slap.

Jess also seemed to pay the price for Nick's actions when he punched her in the face.  That wasn't as half funny as Nick getting beat up by Jess' fellow haunted house workers who made that experience Nick's "worst nightmare."  But I loved that Nick would overcome his fear of haunted houses to try to warn Jess not to ask Sam to be in a real relationship.  I was cracking up when he kept screaming when this scary clown kept getting in his face.  Somehow it doesn't surprise me that Nick has bad nerves like that.  I mean, he is a little simple-minded and probably believes that monsters exist (but is one of those people who pretends he doesn't).

Besides wanting to cheer for Nick getting kicked to the curb by Amelia, the best honesty was between Winston and Shelby.  Not because it was funny, but because it was necessary.  Maybe Winston's cop outfit wasn't the sexiest thing he could wear, but at least he didn't dress like a demented middle-aged woman who has a stuffed animal obsession and still thinks she's a princess.  I already hate puns, but Shelby's "reigning cats and dogs," just took the cake.  I wished that Winston had the authority to lock her up in his cop outfit.  Couldn't be happier that he finally had enough and ended it with her crazy ass.  I'm also glad they showed us just how nuts she was before Winston ended so I don't feel any regrets he's single again.  "Emancipation," indeed, Schmidt.

Schmidt was acting a-fool around Cece and Robbie, but at least he sort of decided to stop acting like a dick.  I'm glad that Robbie is smart and strong enough to stop Schmidt from headbutting him (what, is he a caveman??).  Also, he's just an all-around nice guy who offered Schmidt friendship instead of pointless rivalry.  However, I'm not convinced that Schmidt will completely back off.  I also didn't care too much for his Magic Mike costume.  Though, it was slightly better than him dressing as young Abraham Lincoln.  Of all things that he could dress up as and he picks that.  But I suppose it's better than Nick's (which I have no idea who the hell Arthur is, but what a lazy costume).

There weren't really any great lines from this episode, so that's a little disappointing, but it wasn't terrible.  I would have liked to see them in funnier costumes, perhaps.  They were just in outfits that made me want to shrug.  I loved that the truth came out and there was some punching involved (gotta love that Jess got to get Nick back in the end too).  Looking forward to seeing what everyone's next romantic journey will be.

Nick And Jess: Bad Friends

New Girl, S02E05

Jess went out with Cece for her birthday with her model friends and insulted Cece.  Schmidt bought Nick a cookie and was hurt that Nick didn't think about him sometimes.

The two stories where Jess and Nick acted like asses to their best friends wasn't bad, but it wasn't too funny.  I suppose it just interesting to see how little Jess valued Cece as a model and how little Nick valued all the things Schmidt does for him without asking.  I wasn't too surprised that Jess couldn't handle a night out with the models without putting someone down (she's shown us several times that she has ridiculously high standards sometimes), but I was surprised that Schmidt didn't already know that Nick displays emotion as often as a mop does.

With that being said, I didn't like Jess' story as much as Nick's.  I can't even think what would be my favorite part of that story because even when she was struggling to stand on the spinning platform for the model gig, I was just cringing at her awkwardness instead of laughing at it.  I guess I just liked that she finally recognized that Cece isn't just an airhead or shallow because she has befriended her model coworkers.  I don't know how Jess even gets on a high horse at any given time, considering how much of a consistent mess she is.

Now onto the slightly better story with Nick.  Of course, I agree that Schmidt should have spoken out about Nick neglecting him, but I couldn't believe how much he was pouting and bitching about it!  But I wasn't too bothered by him because Winston stepped in to take his side and was doing his own version of pouting as well.  I was just disappointed that Winston didn't take it to Schmidt's level because it would have been funnier than Schmidt doing it.  I mean, Schmidt started crying because Nick takes him for granted.  Really?

But my all time favorite moment of this episode was when Nick tried to repair the damage he had done (over the years, I suppose) by getting Schmidt a cookie.  I had a strange mixture of sympathy and ridicule for him after Schmidt told him that his cookie present was terrible:

All these tears from getting a cookie!  Nick was so adorable!  I never thought he would break down like that.  Way to save this episode, Nick.

Oh, and I did like seeing how Nick and Schmidt met for the first time.  It was so bizarre how they just kinda clicked even though Schmidt was just sitting in his room eating ramen for no reason.  Like their friendship was meant to be--they're both weirdos.

Next time I just hope there is a little less man love being thrown around.  I felt like they were almost acting like teenage girls, it was so emotional (inappropriately so--it was a damn cookie).  I'd rather them being doing something else crazy that doesn't involve their feelings and such.  And as for Jess, I want to get back to see what she's doing for employment.  I'd really like to see her teaching some unpleasant kids again.  That would definitely be good for some laughs.

The Only Good Couple Is Jess And Nick!

New Girl, S01E22

Nick somehow thought that in light of his friends all having good relationships in their lives, he would start to grow tomatoes.  After Nick scrapped that idea, he came to terms with losing Winston as the friend who could share the crappy life that they used to have.  Jess invited Oulie to dinner with she and Russell and noticed that they still had a passion between them that was lacking in her own relationship.  Russell no longer wanted such a relationship anymore, but Jess realized that she did and broke it off with him.  Jess then got into a ridiculously heated fight with Nick after she saw that he hooked up with his old flame again.  Cece tried to cut Schmidt loose, and her roommate Nadia took him out.  Schmidt ended up in the hospital with a broken penis, and Cece couldn't hold back her feelings anymore and told him that she liked him.

Nick and tomatoes...  All I could think about when he said he was growing them was the time when he had that cactus that he massacred.  He has no business even being in the same space with house plants or plants grown for food.  It was disgusting how he was watering them through his mouth.  I can't imagine how he thinks that farming was the way to go.  He was cute, though, when he threatened Winston with the pitchfork and later when he was throwing away his scarecrow and beating it with a bat.

Concerning Winston, he was insufferable with his constant talk of Shelby!  You can't blame Nick for getting a little irritated that every other word out of his friend's mouth was about how much he and Shelby were in love.  Geez!  Calm your ass down, Winston!  You guys haven't even been dating that long, and I can't possibly see it just being as perfect as it has been so far (I say that because in reality Winston should have never gotten a chance with her in the first place).  If only Nick had ran him through with the pitchfork.  Shut up, Winston!

I like that Jess is so talented in creating awkward situations.  In what planet is it a good idea to invite your boyfriend's ex to dinner with you?  There's no reason that Oulie and Jess need to be friends (despite their naked hug at the gym).  In fact, I thought that Oulie didn't even like Jess after the debacle with Sarah, but I guess that wasn't the case at all.  I thought that Jess would end up driving Russell crazy by agreeing to have Oulie around, but instead she started to see that the two still had something between them.  It was embarrassing to watch Jess try to get under Russell's skin like Oulie did just so she could feel some passion.  She just seemed like a child trying to make her father mad or something.  You couldn't pay me to watch that scene again.  But I was really happy to see Jess reasonably let Russel go.  It's true that passion is often overrated, but I also agree with Jess that it's worth it sometimes even if it's painful and harder than whatever it was that she and Russell had.  Yes!  Now maybe Jess could get with Nick!

I was disappointed that Nick, after listening to Winston's bliss of "sandwiches and sex," decided that he should get back with Caroline.  No!!  My God, he is on a roll with the stupid ideas!  Tomatoes and then his old girlfriend??  There is seriously something wrong with him.  I don't know if Nick should be allowed into society because he's missing a crucial part of his brain for decision-making.  The only good thing about that hookup was that Jess and Nick got into a huge fight about it.  And in doing so, you could see the passion between them that Jess was looking for.  Of course, neither she or Nick noticed it, but I'm pretty sure that most viewers saw it.  My favorite part of their fight was the end where they were shaking their butts at each other to the point that they were competing for who could move their ass their fastest.  That was crazy funny.  Oh, when will they see that they are perfect for each other in an insane kind of way?

Whether Cece and Schmidt are perfect for each other is still debatable.  I can see how Cece might like Schmidt's personality, but he still makes me queasy with his dirty talk.  I was a little glad that his date with Nadia didn't go so well, and he ended up in the hospital.  Nadia is crazy, though.  But she was funny when she was saying "Mick Mouse" and Schmidt was yelling at her that he had no idea who that was.  How could you not get that was Mickey Mouse?  I was surprised it took him so long to understand, but I wasn't surprised that Nadia's sex was too rough even for Schmidt.  Geez.  At least it gave Winston a way to torture him at the end.

I would say this episode was good because I got to see Nick acting crazy in a new farmer way and Jess finally ended it with Russell.  I'll miss the man-crush that Nick had on him and the possible influence to achieve he could have had on him.  Now that Winston has gotten so annoyingly happy with Shelby, I really hope that they have some kind of conflict soon.  Winston is the type that needs to be grounded.  Cece and Schmidt...  I just hope Cece admitting that she likes him doesn't become something she regrets.  And I really hope that Jess and Nick start to see they could be great for each other.  If Nick has really gotten back with his ex, I'm going to punch the TV.

A Schmidt Baby Makes Me Want To Gag

New Girl, S01E21

Cece had to wait in fear and repulsion to see if she was pregnant with Schmidt's child.  Jess babysat Sarah, Russel's daughter, who was in love with Nick.  Nick found out that his newest girlfriend was younger than he thought.  Winston had to take care of his boss who was intimidated by another talk host.

The thing I was worried about slightly less than Cece being pregnant was that Sarah would be a huge brat and not get along well with Jess.  The girl was definitely peculiar with the eagerness that she wanted to know about sexual activities, but she did seem to like Jess and trust her (until she revealed her big secret).  Usually a kid on a show that has mostly adults is annoying, but I think that Sarah was odd enough that she fit in with Jess and company.  Her best line of all was when she first met Nick and noticed his eyes:

Your eyes are so brown.  They look like poop.

Nick, of course, wasn't even able to shake off a young girl's assessment of himself and consulted his friends whether this was true.  They confirmed that he indeed had a poop-like hue eye color.  Another "great" quality about Nick.

Nick seemed like he may have gotten to the end of his college girl phase after learning that his last girlfriend was 18 and knew Sarah.  She had also had Jess as her substitute teacher once upon a time.  If this doesn't convince him to go back to dating girls his own age, I don't know what else it will take.  You would think dating that girl with the circle scarf would have taught him already.

The thing that I was mostly worried about in this episode was that Cece would have to give birth to a little Schmidt.  Even if I could imagine that the child would be nothing like the father, I just was grossed out by how Schmidt was handling the situation.  His comments about the sex he and Cece have were bad enough, but to have him hanging all over her while talking about how big her breasts were going to get made me reach for the puke bag again.  It's amazing how much I want to push him out of a window, even though he is a sweet and charming guy.  It's just that when he talks about sex he gives us way more information than we want to know.  Thankfully, Cece got her period.  I almost applauded that moment.

I didn't expect Schmidt to try to propose to her, though.  I guess now he is the one who thinks they should get serious and Cece is the one who thinks their relationship should remain strictly physical.  It's funny how a baby scare could flip it like that.  Or at least that's what it looks like.  I don't blame Cece, nor do I think that Schmidt was wrong for thinking that a pregnancy would be the best time for him to strike while the iron was hot.  So far they haven't shown much in common beyond the sex anyhow.  Maybe if they get to a level where they connect on a nonsexual level, I might think that marriage wouldn't look too random for them.

The story about Winston wasn't that great.  It was just nice that Winston seemed to start a friendship with his boss.  He deserves a break when it comes to employment.

My favorite line in the episode was when Jess was talking to Nick before Sarah came:

Please put on some pants.  Everything you say sounds really creepy when you're not wearing pants.

And when did say stuff like her hair looked nice and something about the coffee, he did sound just as creepy as Jess declared.  I dunno why it was okay, though, for him to have pants or really high socks.  What, is he like an old man or something?  Ugh.

Another good line was when Schmidt was pretending to call another girl for the date he had planned for him and Cece.  He had really called Nick and for some reason Nick didn't pick up on what Schmidt was doing:

[Schmidt] You wearing something sexy?
[Nick] Button down and jeans, like always.
[Schmidt] Oh, those jeans sound sexy.
[Nick] Is everything all right?  You want to hang out more, Schmidt?
[Schmidt] You taking care of that toushie for me?

[Nick] I'm not doing like squats or anything.  I'm trying to eat less donuts.
[Schmidt] You still keeping it tight?

I couldn't believe how long it took before Nick was creeped out by what Schmidt was saying.  He was just talking with him almost as if everything Schmidt was saying was nothing unusual.  So awkward, but so wonderful to watch to see how far it could go.

I sensed a little that Jess was remembering a little bit of her attraction toward Nick, but her actions and words make it seem that she's committed to building on her relationship with Russel.  As long as Nick isn't dating some little girl, I can be cool with them not getting any closer any time soon.  However, I'd like the Cece and Schmidt train to take a little break soon--I cant't take another scare like Schmidt becoming a disgusting father as well.  Perhaps he would tone down his sexuality a bit once a baby came along, but since that's not guaranteed, I'm not willing to take the risk.  Schmidt is bad enough as he is now, and as we were told in another episode, he only has down--there is no up with Schmidt.

Lies Hold This Group Together

New Girl, S01E19

Winston's inability to live with the heavy burden Schmidt and Cece's fling forced him to tell Nick, the worst liar of all.  Jess found out about the secret within seconds of Nick knowing, thus ending their two month-ish secret affair.  Jess, feeling hurt from her best friend lying to her (as well as the others), thought it would be a good idea to clear the air about everything from then on.  That worked out horribly, but in the end she realized that Cece didn't hide the truth from her because she was afraid of Jess' opinion, but was only afraid of how much she actually cared for Schmidt.

Seeing Schmidt hiding in the cushions of Cece's couch made me groan for a minute that the two were continuing to sneak around.  But Winston (still looking as crazy as he did the first night he found out) threw his secret upon Nick, who tried to run away in vain.  I can't believe how bad Nick is at lying.  It does make him a little adorable--almost like a child who hasn't had the experience yet to master the art of telling tall tales.  What makes his disability even funnier is that his back gets extremely sweaty when he tries to lie.  I love that everyone already knew about his back sweat giveaway, and Jess only had to say "fold" a few times before he told her everything.  Although this could be looked upon as another of Nick's flaws, it kinda makes me like him even more.

When the truth came out, Schmidt was only mad that Winston told "sweat back" for a second before he was eagerly bragging about Cece with a horrible line:

I mean, I'm having Indian every night.

I'm extremely happy that Jess ran after him, screaming "No!"  Seriously, Schmidt, did you have to take it there like right away?  Before Jess even got a second to wrap her mind around the idea of you and Cece together?  Ugh.  But worse than that was when Jess learned that all of her roommates occasionally use her image when they are masturbating.  Now, that's all on Jess, though, for opening that can of worms with secrets about the boys in the first place.  Still, I'd never want to hear that from people that I see on a daily basis.  I also wouldn't dress in thick clothes and wear a ski mask to prevent them from doing it again either (Schmidt said it wouldn't work and Nick joked about being a little turned on about it, anyway).  So I couldn't really take Jess' side about the lies ruining things--seemed like the truth and her inability to handle it was.  And Cece was on the money about her judging too much.  If not, she could have just shrugged off her roommates' disgusting habits.

As much as I wanted Schmidt and Cece's relationship to come to light, I never imagined that the timing would coincide with Nick needing so much help lying to women.  This, unfortunately, led Nick to ask for Schmidt's advice.  I think I was just as unwilling to watch Nick be schooled by him (complete with annoying air chalkboard), as Nick was to be schooled himself.  I did like when Schmidt was giving Nick a lesson in bed, and Jess walked in and misunderstood what they were doing for a second.  Ha.  But if any of them were going to hook up in a same-sex way, I'd bet on Nick and Schmidt above anyone else.

I think my favorite part of the episode was when Winston had had enough of all of the lies tearing everyone apart and the college girls fighting over Nick/a round scarf.  He had the scariest voice I've ever heard him use to tell everyone to sit down.  Loved it.  Then he tells the girls to get out and starts on this ridiculous rant about being Nick's secret lover and racial equality...  It was a lot of crazy nonsense that worked brilliantly to make the girls get out quickly.  After Winston had said his piece, he ended his rant with a few good lines.

Now go away.  I'm having cereal.

You know, this is starting to be a pattern with Winston.  He's the speech maker.  With things get a little too intense, he can come in and lay it down for everyone.  Totally reminds me of that science fair mess with Jess' bratty student.  Good thing he was there.  And good thing Winston was just trying to relax on a Saturday so he would be angry enough to want to get that lying situation under control.  Schmidt may be the mom of the loft, but Winston is kinda the dad (guess then Nick and Jess are the nutty kids?).

 I'm not too happy that Nick is continuing to date these young girls and now he's gotten better at handling them thanks to Schmidt.  That might mean that next time, we'll still see him with some insignificant, little girl by his side.  Come on!  Nick can do better--he's got to.  With the Cece and Schmidt secret out, I guess now it's just a matter of whether Cece will try to get Schmidt as serious about her as she is about him.  I don't care too much about that, but it's better than a naked Schmidt hopping out of a couch.  I guess, I'm not sure if there's anything at all I really want to see in the next episode, the way things are progressing at the moment.

Everyone Seems To Be Getting Dumber

New Girl, S01E18

Jess' romance with Russel continues with a bang!  Just kidding. It starts off with a hearty pat on the back, which leads Jess to wonder what Russel's attraction was to her in the first place.  Cece and Schmidt struggle for dominance in their relationship, but ultimately have to decide to become public about their relationship.  Winston finds out that a little space from Shelby is more than he can bear.  And the best story of all (please know that I am joking), Nick fawns over his old law school buddy who is the "smartest guy he knows." I was underwhelmed by each of these stories.

I just have to say right away that Cece and Schmidt need to finally come out the closet (or the trunk) about their relationship.  If it wasn't for border control or customs or whatever finding the two naked in back of Schmidt's car, I'm pretty sure Cece would continue to fight tooth and nail to hide her "shame."  I'm over them sneaking around since it's pretty clear that Cece can't stay away from Schmidt, so there's no point to keep everyone in the dark.  I think that Winston's response to finding out their secret was funny, though.  His eyes in the rear-view mirror were like he was going to run them off the road.  He looked crazy.  But I guess the idea of someone as hot as Cece addicted to someone as disgusting as Schmidt, is a good sign that the world has turned upside.

Speaking of Winston being crazy--he actually told Shelby that he thought some space would be good for them?  He has to be out of his mind!  They had like a one-night stand, I believe, and he randomly called her again after the longest time and got lucky that she thought he was worth the time for a real relationship.  Winston should be on his knees every day thanking the powers above that a decent girl (and damn cute) would want him.  Glad he came to his senses, and Shelby missed him as much as he missed her.  That moron is so lucky.  I wanted to slap his peanut head.

So perhaps Jess wasn't dumber than usual in this episode, but her relationship with Russel sure seemed to have lost steam since the last time.  We all knew she would have those awkward conversations (talking about guys having to "dig for her gold" was one of her gems last night), but I didn't think that their date would end up being so boring.  It wasn't just the pat on her back after it ended--it was just that we only got to listen to Jess babble on about increasingly more inappropriate things and almost nothing on his end.  Sure, Russel is handsome for a man of his age, but he can't win me over as a good match for Jess on his looks alone.

Later, after Jess took Cece's advice to ask Russel out for a change of pace, the same thing happened again.  Jess steered the conversation toward things that suggested he was much older than her before he had to run out of their date because of an emergency phone call (it turned out to be about his daughter).  Again, he didn't say much at all, and it looks like a non-date.  After that, I was pretty over him dating Jess.  Regardless that at the little college mixer that was going on in their apartment Russel arrived to tell her that he was indeed just nervous and off his game, I didn't care about them together anymore.  I felt nothing when they had their first kiss (except that Dirk was freaky and creepy with his hand on her thigh).

While I viewed the Jess and Russel coupling as exciting as dry toast, I watched Nick sink even lower into "Moron Town," by showing us that "the smartest guy he knows" is a jackass named Dirk.  Dirk was beyond obnoxious and had the intelligence of mashed peas, but somehow Nick kept praising him at every turn.  Really, Nick?  This is your idea of a genius??  What were the other students like that he went to law school with?  I'm starting to doubt that his school was a real school at all, if someone like Dirk was around.  Nick was man-crushing on Dirk a little too hard, I thought.  Especially when he demonstrated to Winston what happens when you ask a girl for space, and Nick nearly had his head on Dirk's shoulder.  I couldn't help but giggle at that, despite Nick was hanging on Dirk's every stupid word.

So Nick was making out with college girls who thought he was cool because he could mix a drink, and Jess was dating a guy with so little swagger he was putting me to sleep.  What?  Why can't we just have Nick and Jess together instead!  I don't want to see either on the dating paths they are going down at the moment.  Stop the madness and start steering these two together!

On another note, I did laugh when Nick had to puke in Russel's car and he was hugging Russel.  Before leading Nick to the grass where he could expel the "poison" he told him gently:

OK, we can hug some more later.

Loved that.  I bet Nick, drunk or sober, would have gladly hugged him some more later.  Nick gets pretty insane when he's drunk, but it's hilarious.  You gotta love him shouting out for everyone when the car was right behind him.  His drunk behind even called Dirk to ask where they were.  Nick, you are so sad, but definitely my favorite character on the show.

Next time better signal the end to Cece and Schmidt fooling around behind everyone's backs (hope Winston doesn't keep quiet about it), and Russel better lay on the romance thick quick, or I'm going to get pissed.  I want Jess and Nick together so bad; if Jess (or Nick) isn't dating someone of equal or better character, I'm not having it.

Winston Wins My Heart By Cutting Down A Child

New Girl, S01E14

 Well, it's finally happened--I found an episode where I liked Winston.  For once, he wasn't just an afterthought on this show, offering a few almost funny lines from time to time and boring stories.   I thought it was a fluke the first time he got me to chuckle, but he was pretty consistently hilarious this time.

Before I get into Winston, I want to talk about Schmidt and Cece continuing seeing each other.  I was surprised that Cece is addicted to Schmidt, despite he is pretty repulsive.  The sex is obviously good between them, but when he was comparing himself to a river and her being a canoe, I wanted to gag a little.  Yet, somehow it failed to send her packing.  I wanted to feel bad for Schmidt, but his mouth wouldn't stop making me cheer for Cece to run far away.  I did feel a little for him when he had to stay in her car while she went to a party, but it soon went away.  I guess in the next episode they will announce their relationship to their friends.  As long as Schmidt doesn't run up the wall and give them way too much information about the nature of their sex as he did in the Chinese restaurant, he might have a chance to get approval, rather than incredulous protest, from the others.

Now onto Winston.  He had me grinning when he said he liked meeting the girls Schmidt brought home by pretending to be his downlo lover.  Oh, God, how I would like to see that!  But I was really laughing when he and Nick were talking about the meaning of the cactus Julia had sent to him.  Nick, obviously a person who over-analyzes things, thinks that the plants means that Julia wants to break up with him:

[Winston] Who told you that? Did the cactus tell you that? Is this one of those fortune-telling cactus?

Later, after Jess describes a bully problem in her class, Winston says that he used to be a bully as a kid.  Not a stretch at all.  He seems like that type, with his lack of emotions and need to compete with others.  Obviously he has grown as a person, but he still has that mean vibe about him.  That being said, I was pretty shocked in an amused way to see Winston leap out of his seat in order to look at the crescent moon outside.  While Jess questions why they are so excited about seeing it, Winston longingly looks into the sky and says that he hopes to live there one day.  Wow.  Where did that comes from?  It's the first time I've thought he was kinda cute besides the one time he bonded with a child at Schmidt's Christmas party.

Winston was also good as the support for both Jess and Nick in this episode.  Jess had broken a bitchy, evil student's robot arm after the little brat asked her several rude questions including why Jess' voice was so deep and why did she break up with her last boyfriend.  She needed Winston's help to fix it and all he brought were his "good scissors."  Ha.  With Nick, Julia did end up breaking up with him (finally--knew they wouldn't last, especially after Valentine's Day) because Nick's voicemails made her realize that was what she really wanted.  So Nick was in a very, very fragile state and needed a friend by his side.  Schmidt was too busy sneaking around with Cece, so Winston had to do.  Nick was so scary, it was hilarious.  He was way too cheerful and uncharacteristically positive that you knew he was going to explode with despair and possibly rage that no one wanted to be on the other side of.

This forced Winston to come to Jess' science fair at her school along with Nick.  It's interesting that two guys who definitely weren't there to see their own children were allowed to walk around, as crazy as they were being (Nick anyway).  The best thing that happens there is that Winston steps in to say what Jess can't say about how "difficult" the bratty student, Brianna, is:

[Winston] Your daughter sucks.  She is a demon seed, she is the spawn of Satan, and I do believe I speak for the entire human race when I say that people like her should not be building robots.

[Brianna's Mother #2] Who are you?

Applause!  I can't believe Jess didn't give him five for that.  Who cares about being professional; that girl is horrible!  She's obviously smart, so why does she need to act like an asshole?  Anyway, this is one of my favorite moments in New Girl so far.  It's right up there with the awkward threesome with Remy.

The last good thing Winston did in this episode was snatch his "good scissors" (what are they doing laying around for children to get??) from Nathaniel:

 Eh! Get my scissors outta your mouth! What is wrong with you??

No wonder the kids in class didn't like him.  I was happy that this boy, though, seemed to be free from being the class target, and Jess had become the point of ridicule.  I didn't care much for the youtube video Brianna had made of her, but I loved that Jess got further revenge on Brianna by making her sing with her in front of the class.  That'll teach her!  I hope that girl doesn't pop up in any more episodes, even though I want to see more of Jess at her job.  I feel like someone as child-like as her would have some interesting adventures with her students.

Oh, and Nick walking around with the cactus plant he had abused in his dazed-out, happy mode was wonderful.  He was even sleeping with it.  I kinda want him to keep that mangled plant for while.

Great episode.  The Valentine's Day one set my expectations low this time, so it was nice to be blown away for a change.  I knew this show couldn't disappoint me for too long!

One Night Stand Disaster

 New Girl, S01E13

This episode was the Valentine's Day episode.  This was the last Valentine's story that I watched, and I can't say that it was my favorite.  I was still a little hyped up from the last episode about the landlord, which made me more expectant than I should have been.  Their Valentine's story was a little different from some of the typical ones you see, but I didn't laugh a lot.  I think the developments that occurred were pretty significant toward the overall dynamics of the show, though.

Jess and Schmidt are the only singles in the apartment, so Jess convinces him to help her go out and find someone to randomly hook up with.  I was worried about Jess using Schmidt as her guide, but luckily Cece volunteers her help as well.  I like that Jess calls her horny side "twirly."  That's as cutesy as calling your vagina a vajayjay.  She struggles to leave emotions out of the equation; Cece says that she gets attached to a single show on the side of the road.  However, after failing a sexy cherry-eating move, a hot potential guy comes her way.  I was happily surprised to see that this guy was Ryan Kwanten from True Blood!  This is the guy I kept calling the Manwhore of the show.  I was a little bored before he showed up, but I really wanted to see Jess hook up with him.

While Jess is getting her "twirl" on at the bar, you can definitely see that chemistry that Cece and Schmidt have.  Seeing them talk and fake flirt with each other brought up the question again whether they would finally get together.  It didn't seem so when Kyle showed up for Cece's surprise that ended up being shrooms.  I wouldn't be too stuck up to dump a guy that did drugs like that, but if that was supposed to be our activity for Valentine's, he would have to go.  Schmidt is no saint, but you can plainly see that he is much less of a scumbag than Kyle is.

Schmidt has to drive Jess to Oliver's place (how did he get there in the first place?), but he stays to watch the movie.  I thought that would be the most awkward part of her hookup.  Just when they started to make out, in comes Oliver's ex, Amy, who still lives with him.  She's not the only unwanted guest who arrives.  We also get Cece, who had come to pick Schmidt up, a high Kyle, and Schmidt again (who returned after "street youths" had taken his tires).  It looked like it was hopeless for her and Oliver to get it on.  Luckily, Schmidt hauls off Cece before she beat the hell out of Amy, and Jess sends Kyle out the door by distracting him with something shiny.  That should be the end of all of her distractions, right?


Nope.  The forces above were certainly not wanting her to go through with it.  Uh...  I admire Jess for committing to her one-night-stand, but I don't think anyone beyond a huge slut could get into the mood while the ex is watching you and eating tacos loudly.  Eventually, Jess realizes this is a mistake and goes home.  Damn.  We didn't even get to see Oliver with his shirt off!  Not that we don't get to see enough of that and more on HBO.

When Jess comes home and sees Schmidt, you can tell that something is up with him.  Since we know that the last person he was with was Cece, you can't help but think that they're doing it!  Jess doesn't pick up on this obvious fact and thinks about what Schmidt says about hooking up with someone you know being better.  Instead her light bulb goes off in her head to sleep with Schmidt!  Oh, God!  It's not as gross as I would have thought because I can see that Schmidt is a sweeter guy than his sexual comments might suggest.  She is saved by Nick coming home and making her drop her giant box of condoms.  There's no way for her to play off what she was about to do with 50 condoms scattered on the floor.  I just wonder what Schmidt would think if he ever found out.  We then see that Cece and Schmidt did indeed sleep together.  Hmm.  I hope Kyle is out of the picture, but I think that Cece won't so easily date Schmidt.  After all, Jess might think less of her.

The Nick and Julia story was only interesting in that it showed that Julia is a work-obsessed control freak.  Nick, who is the most negative guy in the world, finally wants to do a real Valentine's with her, but she just can't get off work.  Nick convinces her intern Cliff to quit, but isn't completely appreciative of Nick trying to do some of the work Cliff left behind.  Also, she kept screaming at this lady on the phone most of the time.  She's a good match for someone like Nick, but she may be even less caring than he is about most things.  I think this episode encouraged me to root for their speedy breakup.

Winston...  Again, I don't really give a damn about him trying to mend things with his ex-fling.  It was merely a sidestory to distract you a moment from Jess and Oliver.  I kinda wish that Winston would go on a trip and be gone from the next season, if possible.

This was a mildly funny episode that made me glad there will be no more Valentine's episodes for me to watch.  Can't wait to see what happens next with Cece and Schmidt!