How Not To Get Rid Of A Man In A Wheelchair

The Cleveland Show, S03E19

Cleveland's suspicions that Donna was cheating on him turned out to be about half right.  She was trying to secretly let down her ex-boyfriend Maurice who had been in Iraq and thought he and Donna were still a couple.  After seeing that Maurice was in a wheelchair, Cleveland helped her lie until Maurice proposed to her.  Maurice stayed at their house, punishing them for their deceit by being a general nuisance.  They tried to appease him by giving him a parade in his honor, but it wasn't until Cleveland punched Maurice and treated him like a normal guy that Maurice forgave them and left.  Junior pretended to be Christian to win a girl's affection and had to compete with Hunter, another boy doing the same thing.  When they unintentionally sang about their deceit in front of Vanessa she was attracted to their "bad boy" ways and wanted to have sex with them both, to their horror.  Junior was saved from losing his virginity by a fire that Hunter started.

I think that Donna has had lots of opportunities to cheat on Cleveland, so the idea of her suddenly sending her husband off to have one now didn't make sense, so I couldn't agree with Cleveland's friends that her buttering him up with ham was to distract him from her cheating.  Cleveland, too, found it hard to believe that Donna was having an affair, but he had to go with what a typical man would think:

Then again, what kind of man would I be if I didn't automatically think the worst about a woman?

Because that line was funny, I couldn't get mad about Cleveland listening to his friends and accusing Donna.  He did a horrible job of tailing her, and later when he knew the truth and Maurice showed up, he did a horrible job of lying.  In fact, he had to make sure that he didn't forget the name he made up for himself, "Cleveson."  That terrible name did set up for some good jokes by his friends, however:

[Tim] Wow, I am so embarrassed.  I’ve been calling Cleveson, “Cleveland” for years.
[Lester] And I didn’t know he was married to his sister.  I approve.

I don't know which of their comments is stupider, but I liked that they were sucked into the lie better than Cleveland was himself (who forgot his own fake name).

I only felt bad for Maurice when he first found out about the lies and had a very pathetic and weepy exit out of the room, where he fell and had to eventually crawl.  However, I was glad that Cleveland got pissed at him and punched him.  Donna and Cleveland are bad people, but there was no reason they needed to be continually punished when they had already apologized.  I really liked Cleveland's statement about this:

We only lied to spare your feelings, and we apologized.  So either forgive us or don't. But stop being a dick.

True dat!  This story made a good point about people who walk on eggshells around people with disabilities.  We're all essentially people, so no one should be able to get a free card to be a jerk.  I'll admit it's hard not to be extra nice and forgiving to someone who can't function the same as yourself, but when someone is being an unnecessary dick, you need to be able to call them on it, regardless of what kind of person they are.

Junior's story wasn't that great.  I guess it's because it's not the first time that he has fallen for a beautiful girl that he ultimately won't get (I just assume).  I thought the song that the mission team choir had some clever lyrics, although the tune wasn't particularly pleasing.  I admired how they had a song that praised Jesus and God by using social media terms and technological trends like texting that teenagers would be interested in.  Because of that, I was less annoyed that I had endure another Seth MacFarlane world song (not to say that The Simpsons has come out with a good song in any recent years).  I also like Darren Criss' voice ever since I watched Glee (but have given up on since their last terrible Christmas special), so it couldn't be too angry about it.  Junior started singing too, to my dismay, but I liked that while he was having his moment, you could see Roger in the stained glass.  Nice touch.  When he stopped singing, I wondered to myself if he had done it out loud, and Junior immediately said the same thing to himself.  That was funnier than him being dumb enough to sing about a girl he liked right in front of her.

Junior and Hunter's duet about their plans to fight each other for Vanessa was cute (though I still didn't care for the lyrics) and funny just because it was stupid.  It was the stupidest when they continued to sing until Vanessa showed up and they had to be honest with her.  I didn't think that she would be so turned on by their deceit.  I was going to be happy for them that they got the girl they wanted after all, but the two were turned off by her sexual aggression.  I forgot that Junior wasn't ready for that yet (according to the episode with his teenage wife whom he couldn't sleep with) and Hunter seemed to be the same.  It was just funny to see two teenage boys crapping their pants because they girl they were after wanted to jump their bones--any other typical boy their age would have acted like they won the lottery.  I mean, Vanessa was a little intimidating, but for those two, that might have been the opportunity of a lifetime.  In the end, I'm glad that Junior got out of it and that he and Hunter went from being enemies to being friends.  I mean, they have a lot in common (both think it's a good idea to lie about their faith in order to date someone), so friendship seems like a more feasible conclusion than the two getting lucky with a girl.

This week we had a double-dose of this show, but I think the episode that preceded it was better than this one.  It lost points for having songs (even with Darren Criss' beautiful voice) and failing to utilize Rallo very much. After seeing that episode where Rallo was shining, it was hard to be satisfied when he only popped out for a random line or two.  I seriously think if they made it "The Rallo Show," it would be an even better show now that Cleveland isn't as half funny as he used to be on Family Guy.

Kevin, You're Too Good For Robin!!

 How I Met Your Mother, S07E16

This week's HIMYM was pretty good.  Barney and Ted go trolling for women on a late night train and Lily, Marshall, Kevin and Robin go to Vermont for a couples' getaway.

It was nice to see Becki Newton guest star as Quinn.  At first she seemed like one of Barney's typical targets, but when she tells him about her condition called "I'm Not A Gullible Dumbass Disorder," we know that she's not going to fall for the ridiculous lies that Barney comes up with.  Throughout the episode, we get a little glimpse of their conversation that night, but it's unclear to me whether they slept together or not.  What is clear is that Barney is infatuated with her.  I hope that she returns for another episode.  I loved her in Ugly Betty.

I thought the idea of the "Drunk Train" was stupid, but the people who inhabited it were a little funny.  It was full of New Jersey whores who kept throwing drinks in Ted's face after shouting, "You think you're better than me??"  The two figure out that the secret to success on the train is to be drunk with everyone else.  Wow.  Astounding discovery.  However, they learn that they that don't exactly want such easy girls who would probably have sex in the first private place they could find.

Ted's best line from Monday's episode was,

Screw the one!

Thank you, Ted!  We know that you will find this girl eventually because otherwise the title wouldn't make much sense, but I've been sick of his search for a while.  It was about time that he got less than serious, even if it was only for a while.  I also liked that he had talked to a girl whose favorite band was Glee.  Wow.  I don't know if I could keep a condescending expression off my face if someone said that to me.

Onto the couples' getaway.  Lily and Marshall are busy keeping score with each other, which is less funny than I hoped.  However, I did like when Marshall recalls going to a play thanks to Lily where someone is just repeatedly screaming.  Marshall leans over to another guy and asks,

 Is it just screaming?

The man then holds up the playbill, showing the title of the play, "Just Screaming."  Loved it.  Now that's the kind of HIMYM moment I look for.

I couldn't believe that Robin was still stringing along Kevin.  He's too good for her!  When they went back to their room, I was in more disbelief that he proposed to her!  What??  They haven't been together that long, and Robin hasn't come clean about her and Barney sleeping together.  Kevin is just too sweet and even after Robin tells him that she can't have children, he proposes again.  Aww!  But Robin makes sure that he understands that she doesn't even want to adopt, while Kevin proposes to her a few more times.  I love him!  But he finally thinks about the severity of what marrying Robin will be, and they break up...  I'm sad to see him go, but it had to be.  Robin wasn't good enough!  Damn you, Robin!!

In the end, Robin is seen taking a smoke, and Ted shows up so they can talk.  After she explains how she and Kevin are no longer an item, Ted does something that made me cry outloud:  he told Robin that he loves her!  What??  Ted, no!!  Come on!  You've already done this enough times with her.  Ted and Robin do not work.  I'm more in favor of Barney getting together with Robin than Ted.   Argh.  I can't believe we're going down this road again.  However, it does make me anxious to see the next episode.

Also, are we going to see who Barney marries soon?  I'm excited to see that.  It would be nice if it was Robin.  But I wouldn't be mad if it was Quinn.

Right now the possibilities are pretty open for who will be with Robin.  All I have to say is that it damn well better not be Ted because she has been referred to as "Aunt Robin" to his future kids.  That would just make no damn sense.