Same Old Story Again

The Cleveland Show, S04E11

Cleveland voluntarily took a severance package and quit his job, but kept it secret from Donna and had fun spending the money while only pretending to use that time to find a new job.  Roberta and Federline broke up, and Rallo was happy to see Roberta start dating a black guy until he found out that Devon was too strict and boring.

I can't say what's much different in this story about Donna and Cleveland compared to most stories about the two of them.  Cleveland does something wrong and enjoys himself in the meantime before Donna figures out that he's been lying through his teeth.  This formula for a story isn't unique to this show (Homer Simpson does it on a regular basis, as well), but what I dislike about when Cleveland chooses to do it is that he usually does it for selfish reasons.  It's not that he wanted to save himself from embarrassment or felt not so confident about finding another job, but he just didn't want Donna to make him do chores or whatever around the house (and he probably didn't want to have to use the money on his family).  I was surprised at first that he was going to tell Donna exactly what he had done at work until he used the time-rewinding technique from Superman (I don't know which one).  Unlike when I had seen Stan Smith use this on American Dad, Cleveland successfully went back in time to prevent himself from letting Donna spoil his fun.  I wish that Cleveland had only imagined he had done it, like Stan (I don't much like that they used the same reference like that).

Also, per usual to this setup, Cleveland's deception was revealed through his own carelessness and stupidity.  Much like when he was pretending to be homeless, he was too busy having a good time to remember that he shouldn't dine in the same restaurant his wife was working in.  I guess since Cleveland will never be the type to admit what he did wrong without being caught in the act first, we have to wait for his lies to catch up with him.  I wish they had caught up sooner--he wasn't doing anything that exciting with all that money.  He then spun the situation to look like he was going to end his life due to the hopelessness of the current job market, making him look even more like a selfish ass.   It would have been a great lesson to him if Donna had won in the end when she punched him off of the ledge.  Instead, Cleveland's seemingly joke to sue Donna wasn't a lie at all, and the money that he won in that settlement allowed him to return things back to status quo.  I didn't like that ending.  I hate when Cleveland appears to win in the end when he was the one doing wrong all along.  Unless they can do that in a very humorous way, which wasn't achieved this time, I'd rather see him get his just desserts.

There was only about one thing I liked about this story and that was when Clevleand was making some speech on the ledge to the "unemployed hippies."  He was getting a little long-winded and Rallo shouted out:

Wrap it up!

I had to laugh at that because the time was perfect and the sentiment was apt.  Cleveland was just having another bullshitting session that wasn't important in the least.  If only Donna could have gotten up  there sooner to knock him off.

The side story involved Rallo, but sadly he wasn't put to good use.  The focus was mainly on how Ferdeline reverted back to his non-poser self (a sight that was a bit eerie for some reason) and how Devon sucked the fun out of Rallo's life.  The latter should have been decently funny, but it wasn't.  I guess because there wasn't anything more to Devon than following the rules and reforming Rallo.  I actually didn't even feel like he was dating Roberta--it was more like he was Rallo's 24-7 babysitter.  I might have found Rallo's situation funnier if he complained to someone about Devon, but they didn't believe he was an unpleasant guy.  Instead, it just became clearer and clearer than Devon was as about as fun as counting blades of grass.  He was making Rallo's life hell, but to me it wasn't anything personal, so it didn't tickle my funny bone.  Also, Rallo didn't have any chances to turn the tables on Devon or anything.  He just had to get Federline back.  As much as I dislike Federline, he's the lesser of two evils, I guess.

This episode made me feel like I was watching a different but similar episode with just a few of the pieces changed.  I'd like to see Cleveland have more times where his lies seemed necessary rather than a reflection of him protecting his own best interests.  I would have also liked to see Rallo get more revenge on Devon than bringing back Federline to take his place.  While it's better to have Federline at Roberta's side than Devon, I would have ultimately preferred a story without the two of them in the first place.

The Cycle of Abandonment

Once Upon A Time, S02E14

Rumpelstiltskin, Emma, and Henry arrived in New York and found the apartment of who they assumed was Rumpelstiltskin's son.  Emma was shocked to find that Baelfire was actually Neil, and she struggled with the decision to let him go or turn him into his father.  In the past, Rumpelstiltskin went to war and met a seer who predicted the birth of his son and Rumpelstiltskin leaving his son fatherless.  Regina, her mother, and Hook looked for information about the whereabouts of Rumpelstiltskin's dagger.  Greg also got video proof of magic in Storybrooke.

Wow.  This episode was incredible.  I actually realized that Baelfire might be Neil when I saw that they were in New York City.  Before I had thought that they were just going to that airport, but going to a different city.  It's weird that I didn't immediately think New York City.  I'm just glad I had gotten to that conclusion before Emma had chased Neil down the street otherwise I would have kicked myself for not piecing the obvious clues together.

I can't believe that Neil is Baelfire, making Henry Rump's grandson.  Henry has some kind of amazing blood ties and non-blood ties (if you count Regina and her mother).  Also, Emma is firmly connected to Rump more than ever now that Rump is her son's grandfather.  She's never going to be rid of him.  I really like that they decided to do this.  Baelfire's identity has been something I've wanted to know for the longest time, and it was satisfying to know that we've already seen him, but we just didn't know who he really was.

I don't blame Emma for not telling Rump right away about Neil.  The reunion of that father and son was inevitably going to make the father-son reunion of Neil and Henry, and Emma didn't want any part of that.  I was just scared when Rump knew she was lying and started to threaten her even without magic.  He's still pretty scary without fire coming out of his hands.

Neil, even with his abandonment issues, has some nerve giving Emma crap about hiding Henry from him.  He can go straight to hell, as far as I'm concerned.  I know that Neil only acted as August had told him to, but I could give two craps about that.  That's actually another lie that he kept from her--knowing that she was the savoir.  I don't think her ending up in jail for his crimes while pregnant was such a small thing that she should have been looking for Neil a long time ago.  Yeah, right!  I would never want to see his punk ass again!  Anyway, Neil being involved would have stopped Henry from ending up in Regina's hands and Henry bringing Emma to Storybrooke.  So if Neil was so damn concerned about following August's advice to get her to Storybrooke, he didn't need to know about Herny in the first place.  I was pissed that he wanted to be outraged.  

Still, I got a little teary-eyed hearing that Neil went sleep every night seeing his father let him go as a boy.  That's damn harsh.  No wonder he turned out to be a thief who would send his girl to prison.  I can't imagine the kind of trauma that put upon him.  I would hate to see that happen to Henry (although, you can't feel too abandoned when you think your father's dead to begin with).

I was disappointed in Rump's first words to Neil.  Instead of talking about the struggle he went through to be reunited, he kept talking about making up their separation with magic.  What the hell was he thinking?!  Who wants to have magic turn them back to fourteen so their father can raise them again?  That's so messed up.  Rump could have done so much better.  He didn't show that he had changed at all.  And he has changed, to some degree.  I never thought that Neil and Rump would get off to a good start, but Rump pretty much killed their reconciliation before it even began.  Damn.  I hope that he finds another way to redeem himself with Neil.  I really want him to show that from the first moment he held Baelfire, he just wanted to be there for him.

In the past, I felt bad at how manipulated Rump was by his own fate.  Once that seer had put the fear of the future in him, he was doomed to be the father he never wanted to be.  It's so damn sad.  Milah was so quickly disgusted with the way he had injured himself so he could come home alive to his son, and his cowardly decision to desert the war only put him the fast track to become the Dark One.  Rump's story is such a tragedy because all he wanted was to not be a coward nor an absent father.  His efforts to avoid that put him directly on that path.

The past also showed that Rump will be undone by Henry one day.  How ironic that the boy the seer foretold ended up being his grandson.  Rump declared that he would just kill him, but is he going to live up to that promise?  He'd have a lot of people against him if he tried.  Maybe Henry will be the one to break him of the Dark One status or something.  Those futures are so vague, it's not quite clear whether Henry is a life-threatening danger to Rump or not.

Speaking of Henry, I hated that he didn't quite understand why Emma lied to him.  Even if she was being selfish, she did have a decent reason for being so.  Likening her to Regina is a bit childish.  If he thinks everyone is just going to tell him the truth all the time, than he's a bigger child than he looks.  Maybe Henry could have handled the truth, but Emma sure as hell couldn't.  And if Emma did tell him about Neil, we know Henry would have sure as hell went looking for him.  He's that kind of gun-ho kid.  It pisses me off.  He has no idea the pain that Emma went through.  Him thinking his father was a dead hero isn't so bad as the reality.  Get over it, Henry.  As if Neil in your life would have made everything better (then again, maybe so because he might not had to live with Regina).

Back in Storybrooke, it was sort of weird to see Regina, Cora, and Hook hanging out together semi-publicly.  They were all at least in the library (which is closed, granted) looking for that book.  I think that Cora is straight-up playing Regina.  She's probably after Rump's power, not seeking to use it to destroy their enemies.  Hook isn't going to get anything out of helping them.  He's been played like a damn fiddle.  I would have loved to see him go to New York and fight Rump fairly.  Rump probably could still kick his ass with just that cane, I bet.

Regina was a moron in this episode, though.  Not just for believing that her mother is just going to use that power to get Henry back, but for openly using her powers to go through Belle's purse.  What the hell?  I knew that was going to be a problem, but I hoped it wouldn't be.  Nope.  Greg got it all on video!  Damn.  Well, the only good thing is that perhaps Regina will get involved in keeping Greg quiet later on.  If it's just left to Charming and Snow, I don't think they'll be able to keep a lid on the town's secret for much longer.

Also, Charming sounded like such an idiot when he was getting confused about how it was possible he was Henry's grandfather and Rump was too.  Um, duh!  Charming is really lucky he's brave and good with a sword because he's sometimes a moron.

Can't wait to see if Rump can get somewhere with Neil.  With the way he started to repair their relationship, Rump has a very long way to go.  Emma also needs to smooth things over with that moron Henry.  Sure he feels hurt that he's been lied to, but Emma's situation is too complicated for me to feel that Henry was betrayed severely.  Henry's getting to meet his father, so he should get over already.  Now that Neil has been named Baelfire, and Henry has been named Rump's grandson, it's unknown whether Rump will still see Henry as a threat and do away with him for his own sake.  Rump probably has a greater threat from Regina and Cora, who are conspiring to find the dagger that can kill and control him.  I'd hate to see Snow and the others get killed, but it would be entertaining to see someone use Rump as a puppet for a while. That could make a really awesome story down the line.

It Takes Crazy To End It All

How I Met Your Mother, S08E16

Ted claimed that he was finally going to breakup with Jeanette after his friends continued to tell him she was too crazy for his own good, but his cowardliness to do so resulted in Jeanette locking herself in his room and destroying his stuff.  Robin avoided holding Marvin, and when left alone with Marvin for the first time, Robin took years to tell Lily about the iffy events that happened while Lily was gone.

Jeanette might indeed have a screw loose like Barney teased, but her maniac style is starting to grow on me.  I'm also super-happy that she is the last random girl we will have to see before Ted finds the girl of his dreams.  That makes me love Jeanette a whole lot more because she's the one who's going to end Ted's streak of dating pointlessly.  After all of the other failures in his love life that will make her one of my favorite girls that Ted's been involved with, no matter how much trouble she gives him.

What I liked best about this story was when Ted left his apartment and asked Barney and Marshall not to let Jeanette in.  As soon as he left, Jeanette was at the door and they played this dramatic sound.  I loved that Marshall screamed and closed the door on her.  Then it was made even better when Barney opened the door, they played the dramatic noise again, and Barney screamed too before shutting the door.  It was like the start of a slasher movie before she murders them all.

I also like that Marshall and Barney were just sitting around in the apartment acting as if Jeanette wasn't wrecking Ted's room when Ted got back.  They started off saying that they were sure she had left after they let her in and as more sounds of things getting broken were heard, Marshall and Barney changed their story.  I liked that they were just as terrified of her in the house as Ted was.  And when they found out she was a cop, they decided on their own that Jeanette now owned Ted's apartment.  Such great, brave friends they are.

Another good point was that Lily told Ted that Jeanette was what he needed because Ted was just as crazy as her.  It's nice to see for once that not all crazy girls are just born that way--sometimes they are made by equally crazy men.  Ted was doing a great job of leading her on and encouraging her erratic behavior, so it makes sense that he should keep the crazy train going until it derails and he can get himself together again.  I'm looking forward to how they end things.

In Robin's story, I can't believe how long it took her to tell Lily about what happened with Marvin.  It took her 17 years to tell the truth!  I would have smashed a wine bottle on that bitch's head!  It's not so much that she was caring for Marvin in a strip club with Mike Tyson than it was that she kept telling Lily a piece of the story here and there.  Who does that?  It's times like this that make it really clear why they are all friends.  These people are insane.

I liked this episode.  I want to see more of Jeanette and how she will turn Ted's life upside-down with her outbursts and odd tastes.  It's exciting to know that we've come to the end of Ted's mistakes in women and are winding down to getting a glimpse of this supposedly amazing woman.  I just hope she lives up to the hype that Ted has created about her.  It would be terrible if she was underwhelming as a character.  As for Robin, it's nice that she finally got over her baby-holding fear.  If only she could get over her need to garnish the truth over the years.  No lie needs to take that long to be revealed.

Tina Needs To Chill Out

Bob's Burgers, S03E07

Bob made Tina lie about a car accident that she had caused so they wouldn't have to pay more insurance, but Tina's inability to live with the lie made the situation difficult.  When they finally decided to come clean, their insurance adjuster turned out to be a crook who wanted Bob to help him commit insurance fraud.  Mort also offered to drive Bob and his family around while Bob's car was in the shop.

It's nice that Tina has such a big conscience, but she is freaking ridiculous.  Essentially, Bob was the one at fault for letting someone as uncoordinated as Tina drive even in a near empty parking lot, so she shouldn't have felt so much guilt for him lying and taking the blame.  Burning down someone's house, on the other hand, is another story--I wouldn't feel great about lying about that.  Still, I wanted Bob to like tape her mouth up or something because she kept acting like her heart was going to explode if the truth didn't come out.

I can understand why Bob didn't want Linda to know what was going on because she is such a loudmouth!  I really hate that about her.  I hate it even more because she doesn't do it out of spite, but it's almost a natural thing she does without thinking.  And she finds it funny and doesn't take much remorse to the fact that she embarrasses Bob.  Hearing her sing that "diarrhea song," made me want to slap her.  Ugh.  And then they had her singing an extended version at the end.  I just hate hearing her sing (or talk, really, haha).

Chase was a scumbag, of course, but I still sort of liked him.  Maybe it was because before I knew he was doing insurance fraud, he just seemed like an agreeable guy who could believe the stupid story that Tina made up or could forgive Tina for burning down his house.  He really didn't do anything of these things, but still he wasn't that much of a jerk (especially to a lot of the regulars on the show that Bob deals with).  Sure he blackmailed Bob, but he was going to share the money with him.  And if Bob hadn't tried to lie in the first place, Chase probably wouldn't have taken Bob in as his partner in crime at all.

I didn't think they would be able to get rid of Chase, but it was nice that it was Tina who managed to outsmart him by recording his plan for the crimes.  It seemed only fitting that Tina should solve the problem when it was sort of her fault.  I mean, even a screw-up like her should have been able to avoid one car in that whole, big space she was driving.  And even though she barely caused any damage, it was her nagging that made Bob have to leave a note and eventually get insurance involved.  It was really the least she could do.

The little story about Mort wasn't that interesting.  Louise and Gene were driving him crazy, and Mort was feeling taken advantage of, even though he was the one dumb enough to offer his services.  It was good that it didn't turn into something dramatic, thanks to Bob and the others leaving him a gift basket.  There was enough drama going on with the insurance fraud thing.

I guess this was sort of a good episode.  I stayed interested because I worried that Tina was going to blow Bob's cover, and there was a nice twist with Chase being the one trying to cheat the system.  I hope we don't soon see Tina in this kind of situation again--she is the worst person to collaborate with on a lie.  I'd rather her stick to what's she best at:  being creepy and awkward.

There'll Be No Baby Tomorrow

The Cleveland Show, S04E05

Donna wanted to have another baby with Cleveland once Rallo had grown up, but Cleveland's vasectomy made it impossible.  Donna and Cleveland battled each other to expose the other concerning the fake pregnancy that they both were aware of.   Rallo became the star of the play Annie, but his diva-like actions got it shut down before it was even performed.

Wow, I think it has been a while since there was a story where Cleveland and Donna were trying to best the other with a lie or a scheme.  Or maybe not, but I feel like it has because I hate this setup.  Mainly because you know that both of them already know the other is full of crap, but they keep playing out the charade anyway.  I mean, it was a little funny that they were both so stubborn that they would actually go to the hospital and get the doctor to birth a cushion, but it was mostly frustrating as hell.

The best line from that story came from Dr. Fist, who finally spoke up after going along with their fight for some reason:

If I may interject…you’re both terrible people who should not have any children.  In fact, I am not even comfortable sending that cushion home with you.

His comment was almost worth them acting like idiots for the majority of the episode.

The side story where Rallo got to be Annie was kinda cute.  I liked how he adapted Junior's shirt into something that looked like Annie's dress.  It was also cute when he was crying at his window after regretting the show getting cancelled due to his ureasonable and costly demands.  A little later when Roberta was offering a way to have Rallo be a star after all, there was a pretty funny moment:

[Roberta, bring Junior and Rallo close] We’ll do our own knockoff version!
[Rallo] Ack, ugh!  Girl don’t know how to whisper.
[Roberta] I am whispering!

There's something very funny to be about people who don't understand how to whisper.  I guess because it makes them look a little crazy and stupid at the same time.

This was an okay episode.  I really wish the side story about Rallo could have been longer.  I would have liked to see him be more of a diva than was shown.  Didn't care too much for the lie fest between Donna and Cleveland--it stopped being funny a few seconds after they started.  It's a little weird to say, but I feel like for the sake of this show's comedy, Cleveland and Donna shouldn't do much together.  It usually ends up being a pretty boring (or annoying) story.

Still The Best Simpson Vacation Yet

The Simpsons, S23E19

Bart, tired of the humdrum of the everyday, tried to raise money to go on a fancy cruise by selling everything in his room.  The others eventually helped him pay for it by selling some of their own things.  Their time on the cruise kept getting better and better, making everyone happier than they had ever been.  Bart started to think about how it would all end in a week when he heard a song about the limited time of their vacation happiness.  He used a scene from a movie to make everyone think that the world was infected by a virus so that the ship would have to stay at sea forever.  It took only 12 days to turn the paradise ship into an apocalyptic nightmare where food was scarce and fun and entertainment had been replaced with fear and mob rule.  Bart confessed to his ruse after Lisa and Marge discovered what he had done, and the people of the cruise rewarded him by abandoning the family in Antarctica.  That turned out to be a blessing for Bart, who came to understand he should enjoy the great moments in life instead of dwelling on the routine in the rest of it through his observations of the penguins.

After watching so many episodes where everything that could go wrong in a vacation does for this family, it was nice to see everyone having a great time on the boat.  Something, of course, had to upset their paradise or it would be boring, but seeing everything go right for once was a nice change.  Plus, the Simpsons are like my family so seeing their enjoying themselves made me smile.  I thought it was funny how that song at dinner was so depressing about how their happiness would end once they got off the boat, but only Bart was paying attention.  Everyone else was "enjoying it while it lasted," per the song's advice.  I couldn't be mad at Bart for wanting to make it last forever.  I often feel like that and in doing so, ruin my chance to enjoy the now (which is the point).  So I really identified with the overall message in this story.

I got a little sad watching Bart imagine his life after he left the boat and his only good memory was him on that vacation.  He died while holding the only picture of his happiness, and it made me a little misty-eyed.  That's pretty terrible for a boy his age to be writing off his own life before it had barely started.  I was even a little down by seeing the montage of his daily routine that ended on the couch.  His childhood should be some of the best times in his life, but instead he was disillusioned by age 10.

When they were cast off the boat to Antarctica, I couldn't help but wonder how the hell they were gonna get back home.  They never answered that, but I guess that's the magic of a cartoon where you can leave things open like that because it will have no impact upon the next episode.  I didn't like that they started to look at the penguins and use them as an example of how to live life better.  It was corny, but it was better than everyone being angry at Bart, and it distracted me of thoughts of how long it would take them to freeze (or starve) to death.  But I liked how Bart stopped trying to make every day fun and instead had a wider variety of moments he could cherish in his new vision of his old age.  He remarked in that vision, "What a great ride," and it reminded me of how I'll probably feel about this show ending one day.  Not every story was one I'll remember forever and find myself quoting in daily life, but I have enjoyed this show's ride so far.  The numbers of years they kept me laughing and thinking is more than enough to excuse any number of episodes that failed to meet my expectations.

Call me a softie, but I liked this episode a lot, despite it was more sentimental than it was funny.  Sometimes that is what I want to see--a nice, heartwarming story where it's not about how much you can shock or thrill the audience.  I'm happy to see that this show can still tug at my heart strings after all this time and not make me want to roll my eyes or gouge them out.

How Not To Get Rid Of A Man In A Wheelchair

The Cleveland Show, S03E19

Cleveland's suspicions that Donna was cheating on him turned out to be about half right.  She was trying to secretly let down her ex-boyfriend Maurice who had been in Iraq and thought he and Donna were still a couple.  After seeing that Maurice was in a wheelchair, Cleveland helped her lie until Maurice proposed to her.  Maurice stayed at their house, punishing them for their deceit by being a general nuisance.  They tried to appease him by giving him a parade in his honor, but it wasn't until Cleveland punched Maurice and treated him like a normal guy that Maurice forgave them and left.  Junior pretended to be Christian to win a girl's affection and had to compete with Hunter, another boy doing the same thing.  When they unintentionally sang about their deceit in front of Vanessa she was attracted to their "bad boy" ways and wanted to have sex with them both, to their horror.  Junior was saved from losing his virginity by a fire that Hunter started.

I think that Donna has had lots of opportunities to cheat on Cleveland, so the idea of her suddenly sending her husband off to have one now didn't make sense, so I couldn't agree with Cleveland's friends that her buttering him up with ham was to distract him from her cheating.  Cleveland, too, found it hard to believe that Donna was having an affair, but he had to go with what a typical man would think:

Then again, what kind of man would I be if I didn't automatically think the worst about a woman?

Because that line was funny, I couldn't get mad about Cleveland listening to his friends and accusing Donna.  He did a horrible job of tailing her, and later when he knew the truth and Maurice showed up, he did a horrible job of lying.  In fact, he had to make sure that he didn't forget the name he made up for himself, "Cleveson."  That terrible name did set up for some good jokes by his friends, however:

[Tim] Wow, I am so embarrassed.  I’ve been calling Cleveson, “Cleveland” for years.
[Lester] And I didn’t know he was married to his sister.  I approve.

I don't know which of their comments is stupider, but I liked that they were sucked into the lie better than Cleveland was himself (who forgot his own fake name).

I only felt bad for Maurice when he first found out about the lies and had a very pathetic and weepy exit out of the room, where he fell and had to eventually crawl.  However, I was glad that Cleveland got pissed at him and punched him.  Donna and Cleveland are bad people, but there was no reason they needed to be continually punished when they had already apologized.  I really liked Cleveland's statement about this:

We only lied to spare your feelings, and we apologized.  So either forgive us or don't. But stop being a dick.

True dat!  This story made a good point about people who walk on eggshells around people with disabilities.  We're all essentially people, so no one should be able to get a free card to be a jerk.  I'll admit it's hard not to be extra nice and forgiving to someone who can't function the same as yourself, but when someone is being an unnecessary dick, you need to be able to call them on it, regardless of what kind of person they are.

Junior's story wasn't that great.  I guess it's because it's not the first time that he has fallen for a beautiful girl that he ultimately won't get (I just assume).  I thought the song that the mission team choir had some clever lyrics, although the tune wasn't particularly pleasing.  I admired how they had a song that praised Jesus and God by using social media terms and technological trends like texting that teenagers would be interested in.  Because of that, I was less annoyed that I had endure another Seth MacFarlane world song (not to say that The Simpsons has come out with a good song in any recent years).  I also like Darren Criss' voice ever since I watched Glee (but have given up on since their last terrible Christmas special), so it couldn't be too angry about it.  Junior started singing too, to my dismay, but I liked that while he was having his moment, you could see Roger in the stained glass.  Nice touch.  When he stopped singing, I wondered to myself if he had done it out loud, and Junior immediately said the same thing to himself.  That was funnier than him being dumb enough to sing about a girl he liked right in front of her.

Junior and Hunter's duet about their plans to fight each other for Vanessa was cute (though I still didn't care for the lyrics) and funny just because it was stupid.  It was the stupidest when they continued to sing until Vanessa showed up and they had to be honest with her.  I didn't think that she would be so turned on by their deceit.  I was going to be happy for them that they got the girl they wanted after all, but the two were turned off by her sexual aggression.  I forgot that Junior wasn't ready for that yet (according to the episode with his teenage wife whom he couldn't sleep with) and Hunter seemed to be the same.  It was just funny to see two teenage boys crapping their pants because they girl they were after wanted to jump their bones--any other typical boy their age would have acted like they won the lottery.  I mean, Vanessa was a little intimidating, but for those two, that might have been the opportunity of a lifetime.  In the end, I'm glad that Junior got out of it and that he and Hunter went from being enemies to being friends.  I mean, they have a lot in common (both think it's a good idea to lie about their faith in order to date someone), so friendship seems like a more feasible conclusion than the two getting lucky with a girl.

This week we had a double-dose of this show, but I think the episode that preceded it was better than this one.  It lost points for having songs (even with Darren Criss' beautiful voice) and failing to utilize Rallo very much. After seeing that episode where Rallo was shining, it was hard to be satisfied when he only popped out for a random line or two.  I seriously think if they made it "The Rallo Show," it would be an even better show now that Cleveland isn't as half funny as he used to be on Family Guy.

Lies Hold This Group Together

New Girl, S01E19

Winston's inability to live with the heavy burden Schmidt and Cece's fling forced him to tell Nick, the worst liar of all.  Jess found out about the secret within seconds of Nick knowing, thus ending their two month-ish secret affair.  Jess, feeling hurt from her best friend lying to her (as well as the others), thought it would be a good idea to clear the air about everything from then on.  That worked out horribly, but in the end she realized that Cece didn't hide the truth from her because she was afraid of Jess' opinion, but was only afraid of how much she actually cared for Schmidt.

Seeing Schmidt hiding in the cushions of Cece's couch made me groan for a minute that the two were continuing to sneak around.  But Winston (still looking as crazy as he did the first night he found out) threw his secret upon Nick, who tried to run away in vain.  I can't believe how bad Nick is at lying.  It does make him a little adorable--almost like a child who hasn't had the experience yet to master the art of telling tall tales.  What makes his disability even funnier is that his back gets extremely sweaty when he tries to lie.  I love that everyone already knew about his back sweat giveaway, and Jess only had to say "fold" a few times before he told her everything.  Although this could be looked upon as another of Nick's flaws, it kinda makes me like him even more.

When the truth came out, Schmidt was only mad that Winston told "sweat back" for a second before he was eagerly bragging about Cece with a horrible line:

I mean, I'm having Indian every night.

I'm extremely happy that Jess ran after him, screaming "No!"  Seriously, Schmidt, did you have to take it there like right away?  Before Jess even got a second to wrap her mind around the idea of you and Cece together?  Ugh.  But worse than that was when Jess learned that all of her roommates occasionally use her image when they are masturbating.  Now, that's all on Jess, though, for opening that can of worms with secrets about the boys in the first place.  Still, I'd never want to hear that from people that I see on a daily basis.  I also wouldn't dress in thick clothes and wear a ski mask to prevent them from doing it again either (Schmidt said it wouldn't work and Nick joked about being a little turned on about it, anyway).  So I couldn't really take Jess' side about the lies ruining things--seemed like the truth and her inability to handle it was.  And Cece was on the money about her judging too much.  If not, she could have just shrugged off her roommates' disgusting habits.

As much as I wanted Schmidt and Cece's relationship to come to light, I never imagined that the timing would coincide with Nick needing so much help lying to women.  This, unfortunately, led Nick to ask for Schmidt's advice.  I think I was just as unwilling to watch Nick be schooled by him (complete with annoying air chalkboard), as Nick was to be schooled himself.  I did like when Schmidt was giving Nick a lesson in bed, and Jess walked in and misunderstood what they were doing for a second.  Ha.  But if any of them were going to hook up in a same-sex way, I'd bet on Nick and Schmidt above anyone else.

I think my favorite part of the episode was when Winston had had enough of all of the lies tearing everyone apart and the college girls fighting over Nick/a round scarf.  He had the scariest voice I've ever heard him use to tell everyone to sit down.  Loved it.  Then he tells the girls to get out and starts on this ridiculous rant about being Nick's secret lover and racial equality...  It was a lot of crazy nonsense that worked brilliantly to make the girls get out quickly.  After Winston had said his piece, he ended his rant with a few good lines.

Now go away.  I'm having cereal.

You know, this is starting to be a pattern with Winston.  He's the speech maker.  With things get a little too intense, he can come in and lay it down for everyone.  Totally reminds me of that science fair mess with Jess' bratty student.  Good thing he was there.  And good thing Winston was just trying to relax on a Saturday so he would be angry enough to want to get that lying situation under control.  Schmidt may be the mom of the loft, but Winston is kinda the dad (guess then Nick and Jess are the nutty kids?).

 I'm not too happy that Nick is continuing to date these young girls and now he's gotten better at handling them thanks to Schmidt.  That might mean that next time, we'll still see him with some insignificant, little girl by his side.  Come on!  Nick can do better--he's got to.  With the Cece and Schmidt secret out, I guess now it's just a matter of whether Cece will try to get Schmidt as serious about her as she is about him.  I don't care too much about that, but it's better than a naked Schmidt hopping out of a couch.  I guess, I'm not sure if there's anything at all I really want to see in the next episode, the way things are progressing at the moment.

Leonard Nimoy, The Voice Of Sheldon's Conscience

Big Bang Theory, S05E20

Penny surprised the boys with a Star Trek toy to make up for all of the free food she has taken from them.  Sheldon decided to open his box after his Spock figure told him in a dream that playing with new toy was the most logical thing to do, but he broke it within a minute and switched his broken toy with Leonard's.  Raj also tried to find a woman to wed, but found himself contemplating whether being alone is worse than a phony marriage.

I will say that Penny, as much as I don't care for her, really knows how to please a nerd.  I was skeptical at first that she would actually get a gift that Sheldon and Leonard would love, but she passed the test with flying colors.  If anyone, though, was going to give into temptation and open the box, I would have thought it would be Leonard.  But I guess when Spock appears to you in a dream and tells you what to do, you better throw away all the "codes of geekdom" and open the box.

It was incredibly funny when Sheldon was talking to his Spock figure and the voice coming out of it was actually Leonard Nimoy.  It also liked that Spock kept changing positions when the camera moved away from him.  This was almost better than Nimoy being there himself.  It's interesting that Sheldon won't listen to most people's opinions, but a dream Spock (not even the flesh kind either) is someone's words he can't easily ignore.  Even though I can hardly see Sheldon being categorized with the rest of the human race, this manifestation of his conscience through an action figure (although it supports the theory he's more than a little insane), make Sheldon less of an ass than he seems.  I mean, it's Sheldon's dream, so when Nimoy was shouting at him to do the right thing and return Leonard's unbroken toy, it had to be Sheldon's guilt gnawing at him.

The best part of Sheldon battling with his Nimoy conscience was when Sheldon was defending his choice to switch the boxes.  Leonard would never open his box and never know what Sheldon had done:

[Sheldon] Everybody's happy.[Spock] Well, I am unhappy.[Sheldon] I thought where you come from they don't have emotions.[Spock] I come from a factory in Taiwan.

 I think that I could watch Sheldon and little Spock talk to each other all day.  Despite the understanding that Spock and Sheldon seemed to have reached, Sheldon still leaves the broken toy with Leonard, and then lies over and over again to cover what he has done before he finally tells the truth.  Sheldon was the most honest when he told Leonard that he didn't want him to be happy with his toy and hoped he'd break it.  Damn, Sheldon.  Did you learn nothing from Nimoy??

I felt bad for Raj and the story about his failure of a matchmaking.  I wasn't surprised that his parents thought he was going to come out to them because it sounded that way to me too.  I was surprised that in New Delhi everyone already thinks that Raj is in the closet.  It's sad that Raj has to defend himself so much, but it's no wonder with his metrosexual tendencies.  I don't know why Bernadette and Howard thought it was a good idea to give him a little "rich girl" puppy he could carry in his "man purse" (Raj, really??).  Either he will forsake human contact for puppy love or he'll just repel more women who think they don't have a shot because they will think he he is secretly into men.  Fine, Raj is lonely and maybe a dog might take awau a little of his troubles, but this isn't what I meant at all by tossing him a bone!  Come on!  Raj could date someone.  Even if it's not true love.  A puppy, indeed!

Good episode, though.  It's been a couple of weeks since I've seen this show, so I wasn't sure if I actually missed it.  If they had more episodes like this one, I probably would anticipate Thursday a little more.

Stop The Lies. Cuz It Ain't Funny

Happy Endings, S02E20

Penny began a web of lies to avoid an old friend named Daphne, that leads to a fake baby shower and tangles all of her friends within it.  You would think someone who owns a "lieble" would know how to lie a little better, but Penny was simply awful at it (not that her friends were any better).  It was almost like a contest to see who could make the lies worse than the last person (I might have to hand the prize to Alex, whose lies seemed the most unnecessary of all).  Usually I like when one of them takes a problem that could be handled easily and makes it into a monstrously complicated issue, but this time I just wanted Penny to hurry up and tell the truth because it wasn't doing her friends any good, nor doing any good for me humor-wise.

As pushy as Daphne seemed to be, I liked that she kept cornering everyone until they felt so pressured they had no choice but to lie.  I mean, she was all up in their faces and making them feel like bad people (they were right to worry if they would look like mean people because they are).  I liked seeing everyone being on the spot, and Daphne's dead-serious concern about all the excuses they created.

Another nuisance who made an appearance in the episode was Max and Dave's landlord who was trying to cock-block (and evict) the two based on little more than jealousy.  I didn't care for his iron fist attitude toward subletters, but when he questioned them about a purse and Max said it was his, that was a really funny scene.  Max tried to act all stereotypically gay so that the landlord wouldn't know it was Alex's purse, and the guy was so adamant that Max better be as homosexual as he claimed to be.  I don't know what that was about (he was pointing at Max as if they would be hell to pay otherwise) but it made me laugh.  Maybe he just didn't want another Dave living in his building who would be bringing home more beautiful women that he couldn't date himself.

But the best example of comedy in this episode was Max's invention of the trash oven.  It could cook a brisket in 18 hours and emitted such deadly fumes that Dave was certain it would kill them while they slept.  I thought that his homemade infomercial for his oven was so ghetto, but hilarious.  He even came up with a catch phrase:

Set it and forget it.  (Don't forget it.  You gotta keep an eye on it or it will burn your house down.)

If that wasn't enough to make you pick up the phone and buy Max's product, there was a disclaimer that "hand burns are unrelated" when Max finally showed us his hands were bandaged heavily.  Oh, man.  At least with his hands injured we can be sure he won't be building anything else that might burn or suffocate someone to death.

I find myself unable to really enjoy stories that have Penny at the heart of them and maybe it's because she's more of a heavy stone around the others' necks than any one else.  I mean, there was really no reason that the gang all had to start lying (and they did so on their free will), but if Penny hadn't initiated it and made Daphne seem like the black plague, maybe the truth would have come out quicker.  I kinda wish that Daphne had gotten a bit more upset and really made Penny learn a lesson.  But I'll forgive the six of them for not being so funny when they were so cute about the lake house Jane and Brad were thinking of getting.  All of them are such loveable dorks.

Ya'll Know Dr. Penguin Is Roger, Right?

American Dad, S07E13

Okay, so Roger or Steve explained in one episode that Roger has at least one character that each family member, for whatever reason, doesn't know that it's Roger in costume.  However, when it comes to Dr. Penguin, the family therapist, all of them clearly seem to know that it's Roger, but act as if they don't know.  It's amazing that Roger is a sort of jack of all trades and is fairly knowledgeable about a lot of professions that seem impossible for him, but for the most part, it is understood by everyone that he is playing pretend.  I just couldn't get over the fact that they were sharing their deepest secrets with Roger, who is known to screw with others for his own amusement or when it might benefit him.

I also thought Roger's Sergent Pepper character was random, even for him.  I guess he just likes to be well-rounded and do every kind of character he can.  He really commits to these personas--it's ridiculous.  He knows full well that he isn't really in the army or anything, yet when Klaus tricks him into thinking he got a draft letter for Iraq, Roger goes without a single thought.

I almost felt bad that no one listens to Klaus, and I thought he might be a better therapist than Roger.  I don't know why I thought it was funny when Roger, during one of his many moments of ignoring and belittling Klaus,  hit Klaus and said, "Punch a fish, make a wish."  I guess it was just amusing that Roger didn't take Klaus seriously even for a second.  My hopes that Klaus might give the Smith family a wake-up call about lying to each other were for not; it turned out that when the lies came out, everything turned to shit, and Klaus was to blame.

Everyone had pretty bad secrets, except for Hayley, whose was only hurtful to Jeff because he is a moron.  If the stories all interlocked (instead of being struck from the record each week), I doubt the family would be able to get over all that (despite that Klaus via Sergent Pepper's voice worked it all out).

I kinda liked White James.  I guess he was just in this episode so Klaus would have a way to travel to Iraq (why he used him, who knows?).  Before he showed us his business card that boasts he is a "purveyor of bitches" he has a nice line::

If you ever need bitches, remember: White James.

The story this time wasn't so bad, even though it focused on Klaus and how pathetic he is.  Roger wasn't too outrageous this time, but I didn't mind that as long as we didn't have to hear about the other family members too much, mostly Stan.  I would have liked to see better Roger characters, though.  With this show, Roger's characters are the best part of watching.

Prince Charming In One Life, Prince Scum In Another

 Once Upon A Time, S01E13

 

The focus of this episode was the love triangle of Mary Margarette, David, and Kathryn.  Just when I thought their situation had hit a wall, things got into motion again.  I've been a little unhappy with David sitting on the fence for a while, and Mary Margarette getting sucked into the fantasy of a possible romance with him.  I should feel sorry for Kathryn, who is probably the most innocent in all of this, but I just don't like her.  My love of MM (Mary Margarette) automatically makes me take her side.

Anyway, at the beginning there are a few seconds of a stiff dinner between Kathryn and David before she tells him that she plans to move to Boston and go to law school.  We know that she'll never make it out alive or unharmed, so that's never going to happen.  Well, instead of telling his wife what his true feelings are, he lies and then goes out for a night stroll with MM.  He wants her advice about what to do and has little plan of his own!  God, get a spine, David!  After he acts like a bitch, refusing to make up his mind, he tells MM that he chooses her and will tell Kathyrn the truth.  Yay!  Finally!  ...Or so we thought.

Later, David goes to Kathyrn to break things off, but instead of being a decent person, he tries to be the "nice guy" and tell her that nothing is going on.  The two of them just can't connect, and he doesn't know why.  What??  David!!  I'm starting to hate his weak ass!  It's not as if Kathryn might not have understood, given that she saw that MM was falling for her husband months ago.

But I have to say that MM has been living in Naive Land.  She tells Emma that she thought that she was being discreet with her secret relationship with David.  Please!  I'm sure everyone was simply pretending not to notice out of convenience.  However, no one was looking the other way when Kathryn found out about the affair (thanks to Mayor Break-Hearts) and slaps MM right at school.  Thanks to that she quickly becomes the town whore, complete with "TRAMP" painted on her car so that the 2 people in town that might not have heard will definitely know.  David was "heroically" trying to wash it off before she gets there, but he should have been on his knees begging for her forgiveness!  He just made excuses and hardly seemed apologetic for the scarlet letter MM now had on her back.

I wish I could have been sad when MM breaks it off with David.  I felt bad that she felt like a foolish piece of crap, for about the second or third time.  I suspect this time will be for good, or until David can become a man.  I could stand for them to be apart for another 5 or so episodes, at least.  Actually, I hope that something terrible happens to him because I'm sick of him hurting MM and his only punishment being that he's unhappy.  He could stand to be more than that, as far as I'm concerned.

Concerning their alter lives, Prince Charming seems like a total different person.  He's not a fraction of the asshole that David is.  I would question they were the same person if that wouldn't be moronic.  Anyway, we find out that Abigail isn't just a stuck-up bitch, but someone who, like Charming, also experienced a lost love.  That was a nice twist because it allowed me to feel a little sympathy for her.  Charming volunteers to save her love, Frederick, who has been turned into gold from Midas' touch.  Seems like quite a thing to do for a woman he didn't care about, but his backup plan is to die on the mission.  Guess that's all he can hope for if Snow isn't in his life.

Charming's encounter with the "beast" of the lake, was predictable.  Don't ask me why, but I knew that a woman would come out of the water.  I didn't expect it to take on the form of people he knew, nor did I think that he would be fooled for a second when it turned into Snow.  How damn lonely is he that he has to make out with a lake demon just because it looked like Snow??  I was rolling my eyes at his stupidity.  But I guess it wouldn't make for good TV if he defeated the beast too easily.  He nearly drowned, but he was able to stab the thing before he ran out of breath.  I kept wondering what the beast really looked like.  I couldn't see while it was underwater.  I guess it's not that important, though.

With the magic water, Frederick is brought back to life.  I'm not sure how long it's been since he has been turned into gold, but I felt like he should had a huge need to pee or something.  I dunno.  I'm not familiar with the rules of turning into gold.  It was a happy ending for Abigail and Frederick, but Charming still had to deal with the fact that his foster father was going to come after him.

And come after him he did!  Is this kingdom really that poor that the king himself needs to come out and chase after people?  Either that or the King was really pissed at him.  This indicates that we won't see the happy ending for Snow and Charming for a while.  Oh, well.

Regarding other things in this episode, Emma starts to learn more about the mysterious writer who came to town:  August W. Booth.  I don't like him for Emma, and we all know that's where it's going.  He just seems like a fancy-free ass, doing whatever he pleases and turning people's judgments back against them.  I'm a little prejudged because I miss the old sheriff.  He's never coming back, but he was much cuter and his personality didn't bother me as much (despite he was doing the Mayor).  They have drinks by the magic well, while he tries to get Emma to believe in magic and such.  Eye roll.  He's also seen earlier tampering with Henry's fairy tale book.  Hmm...  I wonder what pages he took out and put in?

I'm glad that Emma finds it a little more than strange (according to her face) that the book randomly showed up underneath her car.  I hope that it doesn't turn out that Booth is working for the Mayor.  I doubt it because she didn't seem like she wanted Henry to get the book back; she gave him a video game.  So you'd rather your son play video games than read a book?  Wow, lady.  Who cares if you're trying to hide your secret, your parent methods are off.

At the very end we see that Kathryn doesn't make it out of Storybrook.  Actually, the town should be renamed after a line Kathryn had: "If I Stay Here, I'll Never Be Happy" Town.  The Frederick in the current lifetime finds her car (of course!), but Kathryn is missing.  I can't imagine that she'll be found dead because it won't much add to the story.  If she's alive, she can still give David a little hell while finding her true love.  We'll just have to see.

This was a good episode, despite that I was angry at David through most of it.  Things are getting pretty good.