Rodney Rules The Armory

Archer, S04E03

Krieger offered to fix Ray's legs with bionics and when Archer learned of this, he took drastic measures to put a stop to it.  Lana and Cyrill, in turn tried to stop Archer before he ended up killing Ray out of fear of robots.  Mallory was annoyed at Ron for giving her unwated advice on how to run ISIS.

I felt pretty bad for Ray who has it tough for an injury that Archer caused.  On top of the struggles of daily life, he has little sympathy for his handicap from his coworkers and boss.  Not that any of them would give anyone special treatment because of a disability, but it still sucks because it's obvious that Ray wanted desperately to get back to being more useful.  However, I would have probably never taken Krieger's help, knowing how he rolls.

All the gore aside of the operation, it was really gross to think of Pam assisting in that surgery when she was drinking beers and eating tacos.  I't's a miracle that Pam didn't help Ray to die in the end, as talented as Krieger is.  I have to admit that while Krieger is shady as hell, it's undeniable that he's a bit of a genius.  He doesn't even know the name of bones, nor where they are supposed to be placed without the help of a picture from his phone.  Krieger has the resume of some kind of ghetto, psuedo doctor, yet performs unbelievable medical feats.  I like Ray, so I couldn't help but be worried that he was going to be dead in the end.  Thank goodness he was fine and could walk again (although Mallory certainly didn't give a damn).

I'm now noticing that a lot of stories involve Archer doing whatever the hell he pleases and Lana and someone else going to clean up his mess (or stop him from making a mess).  It's pretty dumb I haven't mentioned that before.  Anyway, the best part of Archer going after Ray was him being held back by Rodney in the armory.  Now that Mallory has put someone in charge of the weapons, there's a lot more opportunities for Rodney to give Archer and the others a hard time.  It's no wonder that Archer was still a jerk to him even when he finally got the gun or whatever he had wanted to shoot down Krieger's door:

[Archer] Thank you--uh, sorry, what was your name again?

[Rodney] Rodney.

[Archer] Thank you...asshole.

I know Rodney is just doing his job, but I still liked that Archer got a second to rub his victory in Rodney's face.  In the end, I still think Rodney got the best of him because he locked Archer in the armory and Archer couldn't blast his way out.  I mean, Archer did escape through the vent, but that ended up just being a hot prisoner for him over the weekend.

I'm surprised that after spending a weekend in an air vent with no food, clothes, or cool air that Archer would be able to parody The Terminator for even a second.  He should have been too delirious to even remember that movie.  Then again, maybe that was him being delirious.  Even in an exhausted state, Archer can still manage to take a jab at someone.

It's nice to see that Ron actually does get on Mallory's nerves sometimes.  I couldn't believe that she would have a marriage where it was all rainbows and smiles.  That would be hard to swallow, knowing Mallory's personality.  I see, though, how they make a good match for each other.  They both are so prone to say racist things that they're not even really aware of (or maybe care about).  At least the two of them can laugh about those sort of horrible things together.

This episode was all right.  It was a little gross with the surgery thing, but Ray being able to walk again made that worthwhile.  I'm starting to like the new situation with the armory.  There are a lot of opportunities for Rodney to make the agents of ISIS unhappy with his strict policies.  Just hope that Archer or someone else doesn't manage to get past the glass and doors protecting him.  Wouldn't want Rodney to get killed before he can stir up some more amusing trouble.

Katya And Karma Are A Bitch

Archer, S03E08

After losing his maybe daddy in the last episode, Archer gains his only true love we've seen so far, Katya in return.  Krieger, through a convenient yet believable plot hole, took her body to his home lab and has been working on her ever since to make her a cyborg.  Great news for Archer, for the most part.

Archer doesn't deserve someone who can look past all of his flaws and simply love him, but somehow I want to see him happy with Katya anyway.  He has a lot of issues, but maybe if someone cared about him in the right way (not like his mother who is smothering at best), he might be a fraction less of an asshole.  I mean, someone as selfish as Archer could eventually look past the disgusting fact that his beloved could detach her vagina and put it in the sink and ask her to marry him.  I would have really liked to see him married and have Katya stay on as a regular character.  My favorite line of their short reunion is when Archer asks her to close her eyes because it felt like he was "banging taillights on a country road."

The almost wedding is interrupted when Barry crashes in to effortlessly beat the crap out of Archer with a bottle.  I hoped for a fight that Archer could actually have a chance, but with Barry made of metal, it didn't look like he could do anything.  However, Katya came to her man's rescue, and the two cyborgs started to have a pretty cool fight (cool for this show that hasn't seen much action).  We didn't get to see much of the fight because they turned off the lights so that the cyborgs would lose most of their power, and Archer could beat Barry in a more even playing field.  As he is looking for Barry, he has another dirty joke that I would have missed if not for the "phrasing" gag.

[Archer] Oh, Barry, I am coming for you.

[Guy on floor] Phrasing.

I'm really enjoying that joke now.  More than I would have thought.  I might have to use that on someone, but I doubt they will get it (if they are anything like me at first).  

Sadly, when Archer does find Barry, he is banging Katya over a desk.  I did not see that coming, but I should have.  Barry really got his revenge good, without having to necessarily kill anyone again.  Not the titillating conclusion I was hoping for, but all right, I guess.  I couldn't help but feel bad for Archer, especially because even someone like him couldn't refuse to accept Katya's happiness (she assumes she'll have it with her own kind).  As much as I liked Barry in the previous episode and he made me laugh, I didn't care for him much in this one.

At the very end, after Mallory was lording over being right and ignoring Archer's heartbreak, we see that the cyborgs hopped happily on a bus together.  But they stopped smiling and then looked awkward and possibly regretful?  Not sure how I feel about it not being the love connection that the two claimed it would be.  Even if Katya realized that she had made a mistake, I wouldn't want her to come back to Archer.  Possibly a fight between them would be cool, but no more romance.  Barry's always welcome to come back, and I'm sure he will as he is the new head of the KGB.

In the end Barry won his revenge, and Archer ended up back where he started--alone and right where Mallory predicted.  At least balance has been restored, and we can expect the same ol' Archer that love to hate.

Spaghetti and Murder Ball

 Archer, S03E05

This week's Archer was a murder mystery.  There was little spy action this time, but it was still a good story.  Mallory has a dead Italian prime minister in her apartment and calls Archer and Lana to help.

Although the circumstances of the dead body in the room are bizarre and freaky (in a sexual way), I think it's interesting that Archer can't concentrate on anything but the sexual oddity of it all.  He can't seem to get the idea of the guy having a dildo up his ass out of his mind.  Frankly, if he didn't talk about it so much, they all might have forgotten about it (us too, since we couldn't see that).  Archer has some real psychological problem concerning his mother and sex.  Not that anyone really wants to think about their parents having sex, but they all have or obviously we wouldn't be here.  You'd think after all the endless trysts that Mallory has been involved in over the years that Archer would be a little numb to it.  At least he didn't throw up this time.

Things take an unexpected turn when Archer has the hankering for spaghetti and meatballs (his racism never ceases to amaze me).  They all go into the kitchen and start cooking up some, very casual about the dead man in the "zentai" (must be Japanese from "zen" meaning "entire" and "tai" for "the body").  Mallory also shows us that Archer's racism is probably genetic with her dislike of the Irish.  Last Christmas she refused to give the super a bonus and slammed the door in his face.  I liked this because it was such a Christmas Carol moment.  This was reinforced by the super's son hobbling next to him on crutches and saying,

[Son] Will I get the operation now, Da?
[Super] No, Son.  You're gonna die.

Damn.  She is cold-hearted.  She continues to express her prejudice against the Irish when Archer asks her if she has a potato and she remarks that it isn't Christmas (which is what she gave the Super).  The detective who shows up later of Irish-decent receives her instant repulsion.  What exactly did the Irish ever do to her??

Archer and Lana don't buy her story, but she asks them to cut up and dispose of the body.  They both refuse.  It's good that they have some kind of standards, despite that they do some crazy stuff sometime.  Instead, after Mallory sobs (who cares, but I guess they do), they get Krieger to come.  Not only does he seem to have a handle on the problem, he is actually excited about doing it (in a way that Archer suggests is slightly sexual in nature--eww).  The others at ISIS show up after Kreiger tricks them into thinking they will be attending a surprise party.  Uh...how dumb are these people? 

The best is when the cops show up, and everyone jumps into character as her dinner guests, enjoying spaghetti and dressed in Mallory's clothes.  I find it offensive that Lana has to be the maid, and it's the whore-iest maid outfit ever!  We have no idea why Mallory has that; there's no way that it looks as good on Lana as it does on her.  Eww...  Concerning the ISIS crew playing the part as dinner guests, they barely get by as not suspicious.  Carol, however, risks them being discovered with her horrible, over-the-top acting.  You'd think a bitch from a rich family would know how to imitate them a little more naturally.  Before this scene is over, Cyril complains about being dragged into yet another unsavory situation:

[Cyril] I hate you all so much.
[Ray] No one cares, Figgis.  You're only invited to round out the numbers.

I liked Ray with his accent and cigarette holder.  He should keep those while he remains in his wheelchair.  However, I'm about ready for him to be out of it.  Cyril is such a whiney, little bitch.  At least with Ray he's got attitude, but can actually perform like a decent spy.

Krieger successfully divides up the body and prepares it for all the others to transport out of the house before the detective can find out what happened.  However, Lana smartly realizes that it makes sense that Mallory intentionally had everyone come over and called the cops so that she would have a cover for the murder.  We're not entirely sure, but it looks like Mallory killed the prime minister to get revenge for someone who might have been Archer's father!  Huh.  I wonder if this will ever come up again.  The mystery of Archer's father is something I'm pretty interested in.  I wonder if he was an asshole like his son or if Archer is just a product of a fatherless life and a screwed-up mother.

If I could have asked for anything else in this episode, it might have been for that fake dinner party to have a little more screen time.  However, that is not much of a complaint to me.  It was good that in the end Mallory seemed to be a bigger mastermind than any of them gave her credit for.  She may be kind of a whore, but she's a smart whore.