Doing Border Control Or Funding A Remodel?

Archer, S04E08

Archer, Lana, and Cyril were assigned to catch a famous coyote on the Texas border, but things went wrong when Archer decided to help their target escape and left his comrades knocked out on the side of the road.  While traveling with so many Mexicans in the back of his car, Archer easily caught the attention of the border control cops and ended up getting shot in the process.

I enjoyed the development of this story. I mean, it started typical enough for Archer where he's busy acting like an asshole while the others are trying to do their job properly.  However, instead of Archer's overly casual attitude about their mission screwing things up, it was Archer's fondness for the target.  Archer getting distracted by a set of boobs, also isn't something untypical for him, but it's not often that he basically throws his friends and the mission aside just so he can get some.  When you toss in all of the illegal immigrants by his side, it turned out to be a really strange way to hook up.  Obviously, if she was in jail he couldn't get with her, but to run off with her with all of those other people, I don't know how Archer could have thought that would work out.

I thought maybe eventually they'd toss Archer somewhere and continue their escape or Archer would grasp that getting with the woman he just met was more complicated than it was worth.  Nope.  Archer just ended up getting shot in the back when he was kissing (a kiss I found to be a little strange since it was the old woman in the back who shot the cop car) the girl.  It was ridiculous that he let himself get so seriously injured all for the sake of sex.  Like, why is Archer so pressed for sex?  He didn't even stop hitting on her when he was coughing up blood.  I almost wish he had been a bit successful with all that mess he had to go through.  Damn.

One specific thing I liked in the story was all of the jokes about Archer possibly being autistic.  I don't know how serious that Lana was that he could possibly have some form of it, but Archer kept pointing out moments that supported that theory (like counting all of those bullets that where shot in and near him).  Archer definitely has some issues with understanding social cues, but it would be too easy to excuse his behavior as some kind of mental condition.  I'd rather just think that Archer is insane, but I like how he was offended Lana had said those things about him, yet it got him thinking about himself.

I also liked when Mallory asked this one guy to find Archer's station wagon.  Mallory didn't yet see the futility in searching for such a common car in a large area until he kept pulling up results of similar cars on the road.  Mallory got so pissed when he kept asking "Is that it?" over and over again.  I loved it, even if the poor guy got hit so hard by Mallory that he fell over from possibly a heart attack.  Which, ironically, made him pull up the exact image of Archer's car.  But by then, everyone had left the room.

The ending, although good because Archer managed to not die in the back of a car full of people, shouldn't have surprised me, but it did.  I can't believe this was all Mallory's doing again!  When is everyone going to catch on before Mallory gets her way?  Just when I thought that ISIS might be doing something sort of to the betterment of other people or for some cause, it turns out to be the opposite.  Mallory is one sick person to make her employees run around like her lab rats while she collects money to redecorate her room.  I'm sure she didn't expect Archer to run off and get shot like he did, but it had to be part of her plan for him to get seduced and be part of the distraction for border control.  It's a bit frightening how good she is at manipulating people and situations for her own needs.  It's good that Archer, with his personality, didn't quite inherit that knack for using people as his pawns. 

I liked this episode just because of Archer's random involvement with a woman smuggling in people into Texas.  It was strange that he had to get shot and run around with all of those people just so he could get rejected by the woman and find out that it was all part of his mother's plan.  I guess rather than be surprised that their seemingly failed missions are exactly what Mallory intended for them to do, I should now expect that when ISIS looks like they're screwing up, Mallory is behind it all.  Mallory is some kind of mastermind.  It's lucky for mankind that she's not using her skills to plan terrorist attack or steal millions of dollars.  She'd be scarily good at those things.

Archer The Chef

Archer, S04E07

ISIS was employed to work undercover at Seize restaurant, but they had no idea what kind of threat they were supposed to be watching for.  Their cover was also compromised by the filming of the reality show Bastard Chef.  Archer began to follow the example of Chef Casteau, and thought that his true calling might have been cooking instead of spying.  Lana tried to bite her tongue at the chef's harsh treatment of her and kept investigating why they had been tasked to do security on the restaurant, while the others fumbled around in the kitchen.  Mallory bullied Carol and Pam into getting her a reservation at Seize and took Pam's fish hostage until they got her what she wanted.

I think my favorite thing about this story was that Archer was starting to fit in really nicely at Seize and cooking food that the hardass Casteau seemd to approve of.  It's always interesting to see Archer exhibit skills outside of his spy set.  I wouldn't have guessed that someone who probably has little experience cooking would be able to make anything remotely delicious, but Archer could.  Plus, his tendency to order people around and be a general bastard suited well for a sous chef who has to keep on top of others in the kitchen to get dishes out quickly and correctly.  The ambassador of Albania even complimented him on the dish he made from his home country before he died, making Archer's role look less like a cover and more like his true calling.  However, thanks to Castuea being in league with the KGB, he took away Archer's confidence as quickly as he had gained it.  Guess Archer will still remain a spy.

I also liked that the fake threat that Mallory had used to get them inside of Seize turned out to be real and Casteau was the culprit.  I didn't expect to see Barry and Katya in this story, so that was a nice suprise at the end.  I'm really starting to like Katya because she has Barry on lock and key now.  One little comment from her and she can shut his mouth and ruin his fun.  Plus, she threw Casteau out of the helicopter without thinking twice.  Once again, it's really fortune for Archer that she's not out to kill him because she's just as ruthless as Barry is.

It was messed up that Mallory made them waste their time at Seize under the pretenses of a security threat and a possible future employment with the government.  Forget that KGB wanted them to look foolish--Mallory's doing a great job of that on her own.  It makes me wonder what the hell she's trying to do.  She makes her employees look more like her personal assistants rather than talented and dangerous spies.  I'm just glad Lana figured it out because Mallory might have gotten away with it.

I didn't like that Carol had to give Rodney a hand job to find out the number for Seize.  Not really because it was beneath her (she has some twisted sexual preferences), but because it was just a gross exchange in general.  We didn't get to see everything she did, but we had to hear Rodney enjoying it and see his face.  Eww.  And Pam was just standing there watching.  Geez.  At least give them some privacy while you whore out your coworker.

I liked this episode.  It was a nice change of pace to see Archer cooking skillfully instead of murdering people with ease.  Someone did end up dying, but that was just thanks to Katya's excellent plan to use Casteau for her own purposes.  I just wish that Archer could continue to pursue this hidden talent of his.  Even an asshole like him could be beloved if he could compensate for his personality by making delicious food.  Mallory, as the owner of ISIS, needs to get it together.  Either she's going to employ her spies to do something they've been trained to do or she should demote them to being her gophers.  If she's not careful enough they'll probably get destroyed by the KGB before they even know it.   I'd almost like to see that if it'll encourage them to get back to a semi-legit organization again.

Ron And Archer Bond

Archer, S04E04

Archer was stuck in Canada without a passport and Ron volunteered himself to help get Archer back into the country.  However, it turned out that he needed Archer's help so that he could successfully bring back the money he was illegally transporting to pay back his buddies who went to jail for crimes they had all committed.  Archer eventually helped him get back home in time for an opera show that Mallory expected Ron to attend that same night.

I think what I liked best about this story was that we got to learn more about Ron beyond his charming self and car dealership.  He seemed to be in a world way too different than Mallory's, but it turns out that he's no stranger to dangerous situations and doing things that are outside of the law.  It wasn't a particularly funny story, but I enjoyed watching Archer and Ron sort of bond with each other.  In the end, even though Archer wasn't thrilled with helping his stepfather, he seemed to have accepted Ron a little better as someone who's part of his life now.  It's just amazing to me with as annoying as Archer is that Ron didn't hate Archer by the end (he did make him lose most of his money), but I guess that's all good as long as Archer got Ron to meet Mallory as scheduled.  That's about as good as it gets with being friendly with Archer, after all.

It's nothing new, but I felt bad for Woodhouse in this episode.  I don't even remember why Archer was pissed at him enough to make him eat a bowl of spiderwebs, but he has the worst job ever.  He remarked that he should just quit his job, but cried because he doubted anyone would take him in.  Wow.  Even for a cartoon that's kinda of depressing.  But it just amplifies how much terrible of a person Archer is, and that's all it's really about.

This was an interesting episode.  I liked learning about Ron's past and seeing he wasn't as squeaky clean as we were led to believe.  It was nice to see Ron and Archer spend time and bond with each other because we all know that Archer has some serious daddy issues and a father figure in his life might help him get over that.  Who knows?  Maybe his friendship with Ron can slightly make him a less of a jerk.  I doubt it, though.  Archer never changes his personality for the good long enough to make it a permanent thing.  He's just an asshole through and through.

Rodney Rules The Armory

Archer, S04E03

Krieger offered to fix Ray's legs with bionics and when Archer learned of this, he took drastic measures to put a stop to it.  Lana and Cyrill, in turn tried to stop Archer before he ended up killing Ray out of fear of robots.  Mallory was annoyed at Ron for giving her unwated advice on how to run ISIS.

I felt pretty bad for Ray who has it tough for an injury that Archer caused.  On top of the struggles of daily life, he has little sympathy for his handicap from his coworkers and boss.  Not that any of them would give anyone special treatment because of a disability, but it still sucks because it's obvious that Ray wanted desperately to get back to being more useful.  However, I would have probably never taken Krieger's help, knowing how he rolls.

All the gore aside of the operation, it was really gross to think of Pam assisting in that surgery when she was drinking beers and eating tacos.  I't's a miracle that Pam didn't help Ray to die in the end, as talented as Krieger is.  I have to admit that while Krieger is shady as hell, it's undeniable that he's a bit of a genius.  He doesn't even know the name of bones, nor where they are supposed to be placed without the help of a picture from his phone.  Krieger has the resume of some kind of ghetto, psuedo doctor, yet performs unbelievable medical feats.  I like Ray, so I couldn't help but be worried that he was going to be dead in the end.  Thank goodness he was fine and could walk again (although Mallory certainly didn't give a damn).

I'm now noticing that a lot of stories involve Archer doing whatever the hell he pleases and Lana and someone else going to clean up his mess (or stop him from making a mess).  It's pretty dumb I haven't mentioned that before.  Anyway, the best part of Archer going after Ray was him being held back by Rodney in the armory.  Now that Mallory has put someone in charge of the weapons, there's a lot more opportunities for Rodney to give Archer and the others a hard time.  It's no wonder that Archer was still a jerk to him even when he finally got the gun or whatever he had wanted to shoot down Krieger's door:

[Archer] Thank you--uh, sorry, what was your name again?

[Rodney] Rodney.

[Archer] Thank you...asshole.

I know Rodney is just doing his job, but I still liked that Archer got a second to rub his victory in Rodney's face.  In the end, I still think Rodney got the best of him because he locked Archer in the armory and Archer couldn't blast his way out.  I mean, Archer did escape through the vent, but that ended up just being a hot prisoner for him over the weekend.

I'm surprised that after spending a weekend in an air vent with no food, clothes, or cool air that Archer would be able to parody The Terminator for even a second.  He should have been too delirious to even remember that movie.  Then again, maybe that was him being delirious.  Even in an exhausted state, Archer can still manage to take a jab at someone.

It's nice to see that Ron actually does get on Mallory's nerves sometimes.  I couldn't believe that she would have a marriage where it was all rainbows and smiles.  That would be hard to swallow, knowing Mallory's personality.  I see, though, how they make a good match for each other.  They both are so prone to say racist things that they're not even really aware of (or maybe care about).  At least the two of them can laugh about those sort of horrible things together.

This episode was all right.  It was a little gross with the surgery thing, but Ray being able to walk again made that worthwhile.  I'm starting to like the new situation with the armory.  There are a lot of opportunities for Rodney to make the agents of ISIS unhappy with his strict policies.  Just hope that Archer or someone else doesn't manage to get past the glass and doors protecting him.  Wouldn't want Rodney to get killed before he can stir up some more amusing trouble.

Spaghetti and Murder Ball

 Archer, S03E05

This week's Archer was a murder mystery.  There was little spy action this time, but it was still a good story.  Mallory has a dead Italian prime minister in her apartment and calls Archer and Lana to help.

Although the circumstances of the dead body in the room are bizarre and freaky (in a sexual way), I think it's interesting that Archer can't concentrate on anything but the sexual oddity of it all.  He can't seem to get the idea of the guy having a dildo up his ass out of his mind.  Frankly, if he didn't talk about it so much, they all might have forgotten about it (us too, since we couldn't see that).  Archer has some real psychological problem concerning his mother and sex.  Not that anyone really wants to think about their parents having sex, but they all have or obviously we wouldn't be here.  You'd think after all the endless trysts that Mallory has been involved in over the years that Archer would be a little numb to it.  At least he didn't throw up this time.

Things take an unexpected turn when Archer has the hankering for spaghetti and meatballs (his racism never ceases to amaze me).  They all go into the kitchen and start cooking up some, very casual about the dead man in the "zentai" (must be Japanese from "zen" meaning "entire" and "tai" for "the body").  Mallory also shows us that Archer's racism is probably genetic with her dislike of the Irish.  Last Christmas she refused to give the super a bonus and slammed the door in his face.  I liked this because it was such a Christmas Carol moment.  This was reinforced by the super's son hobbling next to him on crutches and saying,

[Son] Will I get the operation now, Da?
[Super] No, Son.  You're gonna die.

Damn.  She is cold-hearted.  She continues to express her prejudice against the Irish when Archer asks her if she has a potato and she remarks that it isn't Christmas (which is what she gave the Super).  The detective who shows up later of Irish-decent receives her instant repulsion.  What exactly did the Irish ever do to her??

Archer and Lana don't buy her story, but she asks them to cut up and dispose of the body.  They both refuse.  It's good that they have some kind of standards, despite that they do some crazy stuff sometime.  Instead, after Mallory sobs (who cares, but I guess they do), they get Krieger to come.  Not only does he seem to have a handle on the problem, he is actually excited about doing it (in a way that Archer suggests is slightly sexual in nature--eww).  The others at ISIS show up after Kreiger tricks them into thinking they will be attending a surprise party.  Uh...how dumb are these people? 

The best is when the cops show up, and everyone jumps into character as her dinner guests, enjoying spaghetti and dressed in Mallory's clothes.  I find it offensive that Lana has to be the maid, and it's the whore-iest maid outfit ever!  We have no idea why Mallory has that; there's no way that it looks as good on Lana as it does on her.  Eww...  Concerning the ISIS crew playing the part as dinner guests, they barely get by as not suspicious.  Carol, however, risks them being discovered with her horrible, over-the-top acting.  You'd think a bitch from a rich family would know how to imitate them a little more naturally.  Before this scene is over, Cyril complains about being dragged into yet another unsavory situation:

[Cyril] I hate you all so much.
[Ray] No one cares, Figgis.  You're only invited to round out the numbers.

I liked Ray with his accent and cigarette holder.  He should keep those while he remains in his wheelchair.  However, I'm about ready for him to be out of it.  Cyril is such a whiney, little bitch.  At least with Ray he's got attitude, but can actually perform like a decent spy.

Krieger successfully divides up the body and prepares it for all the others to transport out of the house before the detective can find out what happened.  However, Lana smartly realizes that it makes sense that Mallory intentionally had everyone come over and called the cops so that she would have a cover for the murder.  We're not entirely sure, but it looks like Mallory killed the prime minister to get revenge for someone who might have been Archer's father!  Huh.  I wonder if this will ever come up again.  The mystery of Archer's father is something I'm pretty interested in.  I wonder if he was an asshole like his son or if Archer is just a product of a fatherless life and a screwed-up mother.

If I could have asked for anything else in this episode, it might have been for that fake dinner party to have a little more screen time.  However, that is not much of a complaint to me.  It was good that in the end Mallory seemed to be a bigger mastermind than any of them gave her credit for.  She may be kind of a whore, but she's a smart whore.