No One Wants Those Kids

The Simpsons, S24E11

After getting trapped in a life-threatening situation, Homer and Marge sought to find guardians for their children.  They were unable to find appropriate guardians among people they knew, so they happened upon a surfer and an environmental lawyer who were too eager to take the kids.  Homer and Marge learned quickly that this couple was prepared to take their kids before Homer and Marge had even passed.

Well, this was a mildly interesting topic for a story: who would raise Bart and the girls if Homer and Marge died?  Well, despite they know pretty much everyone in town, there aren't a lot of people that they were willing to give the kids to, nor a lot of people in Springfield willing to take them.  I guess I thought it was little funny that they were being avoided by anyone who passed them in town after they failed to find anyone in the family who could properly take the kids.  People were actually opening circles around them like they were playing "guardian tag."  It's sort of sad that they had to cruise around some beach to find strangers rather than anyone they had an actual relationship with.

What I liked best about the couple who agreed to have the kids was that Portia was voiced by Rashida Jones.  She just has a cute voice that sort of sounds like a bit of a know-it-all (not unlike Lisa).  I actually had hoped that the couple would turn out to be not as good as they sounded and something more exciting would happen at the end, but it was just that they liked Bart, Lisa, and Maggie so much that they were willing to take them into their family before it was all legal.  That was the disappointing part.  I had hoped something more unexpected might have happened that would make Homer and Marge run back to get their kids.

I didn't really think anything was that funny.  There's only about two things that almost made me laugh.   One of such was when Homer was having Portia and Mav sign the papers and Portia asked where Bart was:

Oh, uh, well, he wanted to be here, but I’m going to decrease the volume of my voice and mumble so you can’t really understand what I’m saying, and I’ll just keep doing it.

Another was at the beginning when Lisa revealed that playing Emissaries to Byzantium wasn't her idea either:

I don’t like this game. Nobody likes this game. Even the kids on the box look bored. They’re miserable.

The kids on the box looked like they were going to die from boredom.  That was about the most visually amusing thing in the whole episode.

I didn't really care for this episode. It got me thinking about what would happen if Homer's foolhardy actions made both him and Marge die, but in the end, they didn't really come to a solution.  That would have been fine if the path they took to get to that conclusion was fun to watch, but it was missing excitement and humor.  There weren't a lot of memorable scenes, so I can easily see myself forgetting this episode even existed.

MyPad Is All You Need

The Simpsons, S24E06

After Homer was feeling down about his recent bad luck, he won a Mapple myPad and found happiness using it excessively in his daily life.  When he destroyed it from a myPad-distracted accident, Homer was depressed again until he found a message written on a tree in sap.

I think that in general stories about Homer using some kind of technology or sophisticated device is pretty good because everyone knows that Homer is an idiot and will use it in a funny way.  I can't help but be reminded of the episode where he bought a new computer and quickly tossed it in the trashcan after failing to master it within a few seconds.  Homer today can operate an iPad knock-off like a pro, using it to entertain as well as a working tool.  My favorite part was when Homer used the translating app to have a conversation with Mr. Burns:

[Mr. Burns] Simpson!  Unhand your Edison slate and bring your gold-brickery to a caesura![Translator] Put down your myPad and get back to work.[Homer] Sorry, boss.[Translator] Your remonstrances are a welcome boon and surely will redouble my diligence.[Mr. Burns] Excellent![Translator] Awesome![Homer] Woo hoo!
[Translator] Pip-pip! 

Another quote that I liked was a little later was when Marge was getting concerned about him using his myPad for anything that he could:

[Marge] Homie… it looks like you’re putting all your eggs in one basket.
[Homer] What would you have me do?  One basket for each egg?
[Marge] Hmm, I guess you’re right.  I guess I’ll have to scratch that off the list of things I say.

That part made me rethink that phrase.  Haha.

Some other scenes that that worked for me was when Homer threw Bart back into the lion's den after Bart had tricked him, Homer playing a distracted driver game, and Steve Mobbs scaring Homer into submission by bring up Hewlett-Packard products.  The last one was a little clever.  I mean, I hate HP stuff (although I stay clear of Apple stuff because it's a little cult-ish nowadays), so if someone were to bring up that point to me, I might jump to push the submit button as well.

The last thing that I liked was a quote from Dr. Hibbert:

This is the part of the job I hate most.  Talking to crazy people.

I feel like any job that has some level of customer service, you'll feel that way.  There's always some crazy people that come along.

I don't know how I feel about that little segment at the end where all the ads and products from the Simpsons World were alive.  It wasn't bad, but it was just weird.  Obviously they had to fill in a few more minutes, so they threw that in.  I would have preferred something that was related to the previous story.  But it was a little interesting to try and catch all those ads like Buzz Cola and Mister Sparkle that were shown over the years in this show.

This wasn't a bad episode.  I was surprised that the message on the tree was done by a sleepwalking Homer and not Flanders, though.  I mostly enjoyed Homer overusing his myPad to the point of destroying it.  Plus, he was able to overcome the funk he was in without having to rely on an electronic distraction.  That was a good message I could appreciate.  It's not the strongest commentary on the issue of people"s reliance on technology nowadays, but I still liked that they gave an effort.

Worst Idea Ever

The Simpsons, S24E03

Marge discovered that her displeasure about a car was due to the fact that she didn't want to stop having children.  Homer was against the idea, but came around to the idea before he and Marge got to the sperm bank where Homer had donated to in the past.  Bart enlisted the help of Lisa's old boyfriends and others to help him find out where Lisa was going off in secret.

I hope I wasn't the only one horrified by the previews of this episode where they let viewers know that it was possible that Maggie would be replaced as the Simpsons youngest child.  I could deal with Patty being openly gay or Flanders being married to Mrs. Krabapple, but there's no way I could sit back and enjoy them expanding the Simpsons clan like that.  That would be the biggest slap in the face ever.  I don't think I could accept another person in that family.  Their roles are too set in for another character to come in and mess up the dynamic.

Luckily, it was just a scare.  After seeing the wall of ugly and disturbing Homer offspring by strangers, Marge and Homer agreed that it was a bad idea.  Man, that really would have been the straw that broke the camel's back for me.  I've being lenient with this show because it's one of my lifetime favorites, but I couldn't accept baby number four under any circumstances (it'd be like Itchy and Scratchy getting Poochie that one time).

There wasn't anything too funny in either story and it was entirely because I was terrified that Marge and Homer were gonna get pregnant in the end.  Some things I liked, though, included when Bart got the help of Nelson, Ralph, and Milhouse to spy on Lisa.  It was a little funny to see a collection of her past boyfriends like that.  Which leads me to another part that wasn't exactly great, but memorable because it was creepy: Father Mike's appearance.  That was freaky to see that priest approaching them singing "tura lura lural."  It was like he was coming to murder them (remember how scaring the kids with that scary story?)!  What was up with that??  Nelson was also kinda cute in his disguise in that scene, but I quickly forgot about that when Father Mike came strolling down the street.  I also liked when Otto walked out of the bus after Bart and Milhouse did, even though the bus was still in motion.

Nothing else was really memorable, but I did wonder why Homer claimed that he bought Marge's necklace with some of his sperm bank money.  I remember clearly that Marge said that the necklace was a family heirloom and she had a drawer full of them in one episode.  So I was a little bothered by that. 

Glad that the unspeakable didn't happen in this episode.  That really would have been the kiss of death for this show!  I don't even like too much that they led us to believe it could have happened in the first place.  At this stage of The Simpsons, they can't afford to be using such horrible ideas.

500th Episode, Negative 500 Laughs

The Simpsons, S23E14

Now The Simpsons has made it to their 500th episode.  Wow, how times flies by.  That is an impressive milestone when you consider that there probably hasn't been a fabulous episode for about ten or so years (not consistently anyway).  This week's episode fell into that category, but it wasn't entirely terrible.

I enjoyed watching some of the old couch gags.  I didn't remember most of them, actually.  I suppose that is because I usually don't pay much attention until the episode truly starts.  A fairly good line at the beginning of the episode is when Homer tells Lisa to pick up a book:

[Lisa] I pick up books like you pick up beer!
[Homer] Then you have a serious reading problem.

After they get bored sitting around doing a disaster drill, the family decides to go out into town while everyone else is doing the drill.  They expect to find the town empty, but they see that everyone is gathered at a town meeting to discuss Springfield's most troublesome family, the Simpsons.  This mildly reminds me of The Simpsons Movie where the whole town turned against them, figuring that it's a bigger disadvantage to have them in town than not.  However, this time, we get to hear more about why each of them are a menace.  Bart and Homer are no-brainers; they destroy things on a regular basis with their antics.  But Lisa is seen as an eyesore for her meddlesome environmental endeavors, and Maggie is just seen as a devil baby of some sorts:

[Cookie] Even baby never cry!

[Maggie makes a throat cutting motion]

[Cookie] What baby does that? 

Even Marge isn't safe from being banned, despite her earnest plea for the town to not see her family as monsters.   Thanks to her tendency to present her family "in a more forgiving light," she is deemed the worst Simpson of all.  Nice.

They end up going to the "Outlands" after a resident threatens them with a gun and invites them.  I liked that they redid the opening scene in a more country, off the grid-like fashion.  Somehow this reminded me of The Riches, but I'm not sure if that was my imagination or something that the writers intended the viewers to think about.  Their lives there were less refined and almost completely boring.  What I liked most of their new lives was when Homer was tired of watching "fox" and there was an actual fox on a rock in front of them.  Maggie's little mohawk and aggressive actions were cute, though.  And I did enjoy when their neighbor (whose name escapes me) tells Homer that he should get out less.

Homer and Marge sneak back into Springfield after Marge laments her lost home.  They do this dressed as Mr. Burns and Smithers, and I was surprised that Homer didn't mess it up by forgetting Mr. Burn's catchphrase of "Excellent."  I guess they've already done that before, where Homer mistakenly thinks his phrase is "Exactly."  I love that episode, by the way. 

Since Homer doesn't mess it up, the two enjoy sneaking around town all the way back to their old house, where they are cornered by the majority of the town (if not the whole town).  This development is predictable and easily turns sentimental after Marge, with little convincing, tells them that they are the jerks, and she and Homer are returning to their real, better home.  The only thing that was notable about this scene was when the Mayor admits they are jerks, and Wiggum pulls out a spray of "Jerk Off," which he offers to spray on him.  Gross.  But mildly funny.

In the end, the whole town moves to the Outlands, wanting to escape from the choke hold of Springfield.  This was an easy solution to their problem and not very entertaining.  I only slightly liked that Moe's establishment in the Outlands was "Moe's Cavern," which was set up in a cave.  Everyone makes the move there, except Skinner who hasn't gotten the memo.  Bart later comes to get him, but I didn't expect him to actually carry him all the way.  He intentionally makes Skinner slam into things on the way, but I thought he might just drop his archenemy.  I guess that's just as good.

At the end, the show asks that we viewers go out and get some fresh air before they go on the internet to say how much the episode sucked.  That was a nice touch and makes me think that the staff realize how bad the show has gotten.  I'm wondering if they are under some pressure or obligation to keep the show on the air.  Well, if they keep losing viewers with these lackluster stories, they won't be able to afford to keep it on.  And they do have Family Guy and such, but I don't think that it can really fill the void The Simpsons will leave on FOX Sunday nights.  However, FG is popular, so you never know.  It could be celebrating its 500th episode one day.

I appreciate The Simpsons passing the test of time, but the 500th episode is not one I'm excited to see again.  I'm only happy there weren't too many guest stars in this episode.  They could have made a much bigger to-do about this milestone, but they didn't.  However, I'd like them to do stories that are a little more original and bring more laughs.

I Would Have Preferred A Rerun Of The "Love Day" Episode

Last night's The Simpsons was one of the better episodes from their 23th season.  Frankly, I'm getting sick of all the guest stars they've had recently.  That to me is a good sign that they are grasping at straws to keep the show on.  I've been a fan of this show since I was a child, and I don't really want to have to stop watching.  The Simpson family is almost like one of my own, and it's hard to imagine not seeing them with new adventures.  But come on...  Are writers really this bad nowadays or is it just impossible to write any more interesting stories for something that has done about everything you can over the 20 years?

They say this is 499th episode.  They have a big-to-do moment in the couch montage before Lisa reveals this fact to them, and Moe lets them know that FOX isn't going to celebrate it again.  Ha.

Lisa falls in love with a boy who writes in this Valentine's episode.  The boy is voiced by Michael Cera, who is an actor I enjoy, but I'm still wary of these tactics to get viewers to watch simply with semi-famous celebrities.  Their story is entertaining for a little bit, as Lisa rarely finds a boy that she can connect with, but it ultimately doesn't work out.  She was just swept away by the fantasy the boy was throwing at her and didn't see the reality of a relationship with a troubled writer.  Lisa's fascination caused a little rift between Marge and she, but they barely touched upon it.  I mean, Marge could have gone much further with jealousy that her daughter was growing apart from her, but they didn't.  She was a little disappointed, but nothing significant.  Weak.

Bart and Milhouse became myth-busters.  That was a little funny.  It worked to distract you from Lisa's lukewarm romance that we knew wouldn't last.  I liked that the two watched TV at a gas station to defy Marge telling them not to watch TV on the TV, computer, or smartphone.  They immediately went to find out if using cellphones at gas stations was dangerous, causing a sizable explosion.  That got a little chuckle from me.  But most of their myths were boring with subdued consequences.

My favorite thing about the episode was when Homer and Bart were hanging out together for Valentine's Day.  They may be at each other's worst enemies most of the time, but they are a darling son and father couple.  Homer's pretty lucky that he had a dumb son that can enjoy that reckless and brainless activities he enjoys himself.

This episode pales in comparison to episodes from about 10 or more years ago, but it was all right for a current season.  The best episode this season by far was the one with their future selves (The Simpsons are really good at stories with the future, which is probably why Futurama is so good).  Next episode, we need more Homer and less guest stars.  We get it--you don't know what you're doing writers, but you need to get to work and think outside of the box.