Curse That Fortune-Teller

2 Broke Girls, S02E15

The girls were having problems affording the supplies they needed for their cupcakes when they were being paid so badly at the diner.  Caroline got them an application for a grant for small businesses, but later spent a bunch of money on fortune-telling.  Max took Caroline to get her money back from the fortune teller, and the two ended up being cursed by her.

It was a bit of a shock that Andy was suddenly gone from across their shop, but I guess it makes sense that he has to be gone for good or it'll be strange to explain why we haven't seen him despite being neighbors with Caroline and Max's shop.  I felt the absence of Andy more when Amir was introduced and he and Max exchanged banter in a way that was almost like Andy and Max (if Andy was trying to hit on her).  The two of them were not funny at all as a pair, making me wish Andy was still on the show all the more.  His sudden disappearance does leave room for him to suddenly reappear with any flimsy explanation really, but such a happy outcome is in no way guaranteed.  Boo.

I almost felt bad for Han when everyone was telling him to not be a bitch and just sign the recommendation for Caroline and Max.  I mean, once again they are asking a favor of him (although not one I think would damage his reputation much), and they railroad him into doing it instead of letting him do it on his own.  However, I slightly changed my mind when Han wrote his own recommendation for them and it didn't sound that flattering.  It was certainly truthfully, but I don't think if they had submitted that recommendation that it would have helped them.  No wonder they'd rather just bully him into doing things their way rather than give him the option of helping them in his way.

I was pretty disappointed in how Caroline reacted with the fortune-telling and the curses.  I think she was still in shock that Andy chose to bolt town in the middle of the night rather than see her again.  I'm sure that had rattled her confidence about her relationships with men.  Still, to steal eggs and such from the dinner because they're hurting for money and then turn around to buy a crystal for 50 bucks is barely forgivable.  Max is a good friend not to slap the hell out of her.  It's definitely one of those times where I would want Caroline to think more about the business than her love life.  They're making jokes about whether they'll live until winter and she's going to blow money on something that dumb?  Hell, no.  And hell, no to that bitch fortune-teller who refused to give them refunds, cursed them, and then made them pay another 50 bucks to have the fake curses removed.  It's annoying as hell to see them being taken advantage, especially when the girls are conscious that they are being fleeced!  I hate seeing scam artists like that lady winning in the end.  Wish Max or Caroline would have thrown a fake curse at her.

I don't know if there was much of a good ending to the story.  The girls felt better hearing their fortunes of success and love, but after what that lady put them through I wouldn't believe her if she told me lighting would strike me and it did five seconds later.  Her ability to tell that it was going to snow proved nothing to me.  But I guess if Caroline could be put at ease because she thought she would be successful despite being alone, it's not the worst ending.  However, I was disappointed that they didn't get to submit their grant application nor get their money back.

I suppose you could say I didn't like this episode very much because it didn't turn out at all like I wanted it to.  I wouldn't have wanted Andy to disappear from the show as if he were an afterthought, nor would I want someone to try to sort of replace him.  The biggest fail for me was watching the girls fall prey to curses and the like.  That damn fortune-teller should have choked on that Chinese food she was eating at the beginning for all of her scams.  But at least the girls got semi-decent fortunes revealed by the end.  They live in a pretty gloomy situation now, so perhaps even false hope will turn into real hope for them.

Moms Doing What They Gotta Do

Once Upon A Time, S02E03

Charming asked Henry to stay out of the rescue for Emma and Snow, leading him to cut school to do his own investigation.  Emma and Snow were released from their prison and returned to Charming and Snow's old house to find the wardrobe Emma was sent away in.  In the past, King George continued to attack Charming by going after his loved ones.

Henry is definitely in the right family because he basically blows his nose at danger.  I can't believe how easy it was for him to fool Regina and get into her vault.  I actually felt a little bad for her because she probably really looked forward to that lunch that never happened.  I can see that she really is keeping to her word, so far because instead of going to stop Henry herself, she told Charming and he went to get Henry before his ass got bit by a bunch of snakes!  Like, is Henry crazy??  There could have been any kind of evil thing under the sun in one of her boxes and he thought it would be smart to just open one at random.  He knows that she was always up to no good, so I don't know why he thought he would find something good in her little secret lair.  What a moron (he's taking a lot after Emma who also in the episode is taking danger too lightly).  It was a little cute at the end when Charming decided he'd buy him some wooden swords to practice with (since Henry is jealous that his mother and grandmother get to go sword fighting in the other world--if only he knew he'd probably be dead in a minute with his current knowledge of that world).  I hope Charming can get Henry to settle down and stop trying to run off to do things (like his grandfather keeps doing when it's convenient for him).

Similarly, Emma was doing a shitty job of fitting into the other world and failing to listen to the experts, mainly her mother and Mulan.  I know Emma is used to handling things on her own, but I feel like that situation requires that you swallow your pride and learn from the "masters" instead of what she was doing.  I can't even believe that she was sort of bragging that she killed a dragon (which she didn't even do half as well as she thinks and should have learned that guns are useless) when warned about the ogres.  No surprise that she not only let the ogres know where they were, but almost got killed by one.  Seriously, Emma, it's time to shut up.  Hopefully by now she's learned her damn lesson and will stop acting like she knows what she's doing.

I have to also say that Aurora is so annoying.  Sure her love got killed and all, but damn.  Trying to get Snow by the throat with a knife?  I wish Snow had done more than she had before Mulan butted in.  I still think Snow needs to kick that girl's butt.  But Aurora seems to be willing to help Emma and Snow now.  I guess.  She might still be secretly bitter.

It was pretty sweet and sad when Snow and Emma were looking around the remains of her nursery.  I kind of forget that Snow had dreams of raising her daughter and had to give it up so that her daughter wouldn't be cursed.  I didn't think Emma would start to forgive Snow for abandoning her, so it was nice to see that they made some progress.  They don't have the best situation, but at least they do have each other, so they can continue to go from there.

Another mother who showed her sacrifice was Charming's mother.  I wasn't so sure why she was brought up again when she was just going to die until they had shown that King George had cursed Snow.  Then when Charming mentioned that lake that could cure anything, I knew that Snow would be the one to be saved, and Charming's mother would put herself aside.  I had wondered how the two got married and imagined it to be some big, grand thing, but it was sort of touching how simple it was with just the two of them, Lancelot, and Charming's mother looking on before she took her last breath.  Wow.  That was sort of beautiful.  She got to see her son married, Snow took the cure without knowing, and Charming's mother was able to die knowing that her son would have everything he wanted in life.  I just wonder if Snow ever needs to tell Charming what his mother did for her.  I suppose it doesn't really concern him since it was his mother's decision and there's nothing he can do about it now.

I really enjoyed this episode because it was nice to see all these different mothers in the show giving up things so their children could be happy.  But, there's no telling what Regina's crazy-ass mother is up to.  It'll be interesting to see what might happen if she's able to get to Storybrooke.  I just wonder who will be able to get to the non-magic world first: Emma and Snow or Regina's mother?  I'm little worried it's going to be the latter with her in possession of the ashes of the wardrobe.  Someone needs to stop that bitch before it's too late.

I Knew I Liked Gold. And I Knew I Hated August

Once Upon A Time, S01E19

With Kathryn's return, Mary-Margaret was free, but she had no desire to get back with David.  Mr. Gold thought his long-lost son was August, but quickly realized he had been had.  August was revealed to be another person from the other world who was hoping that Emma's powers to change things might cure his illness.  Rumpelstiltskin's past with his son Baelfire was further explained, shedding light on certain things about Mr. Gold.  Emma thought that she would soon have evidence that the Mayor was behind Kathryn's disappearance, but Sidney confessed to it all.  Emma got tired of the Mayor playing around with others' lives for her own goals and told her that she was going to attack her by reclaiming Henry as her son.

I think one of the best things about MM being lifted of all her crimes is the party where she mentions that there were a lot of people celebrating her freedom, but just the other day it was like no one was her friend.  Man, true dat!  If it was me, the party would consist of me drinking and demanding that everyone apologize to me!  It was also good that she wouldn't even let David in.  I thought he might try to smooth things over, and I was worried that MM might try to take him back.  Thank God she is listening to the signs of the universe.  David's one of my least favorite people on the show.  I know that the Mayor is trying to keep them apart, but maybe with good reason this time.  David needs to do something so incredibly wonderful for MM that I can forget that he's failed her so many times.  Not sure what would be good enough.  Possibly if he made a time machine and went back and fixed his mistakes.  That might be a good place to start.

Emma didn't have a lot of screen time in this episode, but she had a great scene at the end with the Mayor.  I expected that Sidney wouldn't want to stop being Regina's bitch, but I still was pissed that he came into the station and played the role of the Mayor's scapegoat.  Good thing that Emma was just as pissed as me because she set Mayor Bitch straight and told her that things were no longer going to just go any way that she wanted from then on.  I loved when the Mayor tried to interject and Emma was like "uh-uh--I'm talking!"  Not quite sure how someone like Emma would get custody of Henry with her history and the Mayor's seemingly sparkling clean one.  Still, it would be nice if the Mayor started sweating a bit.

Speaking of making the Mayor sweat, Mr. Gold was on fire in this episode.  While the Mayor complained that he had broken their deal, he let her know that he had done everything that he had promised (which wasn't killing anyone).  She then wondered why he had brought her the curse in the first place if Gold was going to be her enemy.  Mr. Gold told her smart ass to figure it out for herself.  I hadn't thought about that issue either, so I started to wonder why he would want to go to Storybrooke in the first place.

We found out the answer after looking into Rump's past again.  I was worried that Baelfire would get killed for some reason, and that's why Rump is seen son-less later on.  But I guess that was a stupid concern because Rump turned a man into a snail and crushed him just for making Baelfire scrape his knee.  There's no way that he wouldn't have been able to use his magic to keep one measly son alive.  What happened was worse than him being killed--Rump basically abandoned him and lost faith in him.  He let his son fall into a mysterious, glowing hole in the ground by himself.  After he disappeared, Baelfire might as well have been dead at that point because who knows what would happen to him in the other world?  Especially as a boy with no parents and no knowledge of the workings of the new world?  Terrible.  At least, Rump realized his horrible mistake immediately after he had no son left to protect.  Too little, too late, though.

One of the interesting things about Baelfire's disappearance and Rump's obsession to get him back was when he spoke to the Blue Fairy.  She was the one that gave Baelfire the idea that he could get to the other world by using a curse since there were no more magic beans left to use.  The Blue Fairy told him that it would never work, but he tried to smack her (Ha!) and swore that he would get it to work.  Now it makes sense that he hates the nuns in the other world.  They're all fairies.  I hadn't thought about why he was such a nun-hating miser since that story about Grumpy, but I'm glad they explained that.  I'm surprised he hasn't evicted the nuns already (or worse).

Another interesting thing is that Rump has always been plotting for this.  He has never wanted to help the Queen, but just wanted to get to the other world so that he could be reunited with his son once again.  Obviously, it hasn't happened yet, but I bet that he needs Emma's power or something for his happy ending (assuming that Baelfire will forgive him) to come true.  As much of an unsavory character that Mr. Gold portrays himself to be, I felt for him when he was pouring his heart out to Archie and when he thought that he had found his son in August.  Who would have thought he would have a tearful hug with someone?  It was nice to see, but I was highly skeptical of August.

August didn't betray my mistrust of him.  What an asshole to pretend to be Gold's son!  Mr. Gold has never shown such a vulnerable side and this guy strolls into town and manages to get him to act like a human being.  I enjoyed Mr. Gold sharing a fake, but sweet moment, but no one could enjoy August toying with people's emotions like he did.  I don't care if he wanted to use Rump's powers to cure his illness--you don't do that to people!  Of course, Mr. Gold would have never agreed to help him in the first place no matter what he told him, but it still doesn't give him the right to use such a sneaky method.  I loved when Mr. Gold had the knife on him.  I really wish he had sliced his head off.  I'm so over August and his mysterious presence.  But Gold has something in mind for him before he kicks the bucket.  Not sure how he'll be useful to him, but we'll see in good time.  August may kick the bucket any soon, so we don't have to wait too long for him to die.  If Mr. Gold still did have his Rump powers, August would so have been a snail underneath his shoe.

So where is Baelfire?  Is he in town already but just doesn't realize Gold is his father?  No.  I doubt that.  The Storybrooke people are cursed and can't leave.  Baelfire could be anywhere in the world.  The world that Mr. Gold can't even get to if Emma doesn't break the curse.  I wonder if Emma is going to start believing in magic soon, so that she can actually make it happen.  Perhaps that's what Mr. Gold intends to use August for before he dies.  Maybe if the two work together, they may get Emma to become a believer.

Also, when is MM going to confront the Mayor about her grudge against her?  After the initial joy of being free wears off, she should definitely address that again.  She has to think that the Mayor is nuts and needs to be locked away.  Perhaps she'll just start helping Emma bring her down.  She doesn't have David to distract anymore (at least for a while, anyway).

Man, this show is so good!  I'm going to be super sad when the season ends!  There's just so much that I want to know and so little time to see all the stories before the summer.  It would be nice, though, to have Emma make some progress bringing down the Mayor.  If that and nothing else is achieved, I can be a little more content to wait until next fall.

Ya'll Can't Eat Nowhere

Happy Endings, S02E18

Through the misfortune of Penny's birthday celebration, we not only learn that her parties have famously been cursed ("The curse of Penny's birthday strikes again), but also that her group of friends have managed to get themselves banned from almost every restaurant in the city.  It's not so unusual that people have a hard time deciding on a place to eat that everyone will like, but it's a different matter when you have to worry about if someone might be arrested from setting foot upon a suggested place.

I think that Brad's old custom of taking girls he wanted to break up with to a certain restaurant with a mariachi band and bolted down tables was damn smart.  I don't know what the kind of ladies he used to date before Jane, but I'm sure that crazy only attracts crazy, so I'm sure each time it could have been a scene.  I didn't think that he might have taken Jane there, but it was sweet when he explained to her how her self-assurance won him over, and he knew that he would never need the breakup restaurant again.  They are so good together.  Probably a little too good together, as they managed to get the gang banned from Medora for having sex in the bathroom.  They may be a cute couple, but they are some freaks when it comes to getting it on.  Seriously, do you two have to bang in every restaurant in town?  They need to start a stamp card and receive a free ice cream for their 20th "Oops!  You caught us!"

While I was shaking my head at everyone's ability to mark off the restaurants in town as if they were playing "Ooo, not there!" bingo, Max had me laughing with hunger-induced madness and his motto that night of "The curse of Penny's birthday strikes again."  The best time he used this was in a modified fashion when he accidentally hit the lights off without realizing it:

The curse of Max's love handles strikes again.

 Was it really a curse?  After all their mishaps that night, including Penny losing her shirt and getting everyone kicked out of Big Dom's, they all have dinner at Rosalita's (I could see that coming) and encounter a strange woman speaking a language they don't understand.  She blows salt on them and seems to curse them.  What's even stranger is that they all pretend (I think it is) they have switched bodies.  That was hilarious, even with Alex failing to do it (instead of imitating Dave, she just says "I'm Dave").  What in the world was that about?  I just love that a random woman can just show up and do that.

I think this was a great episode to provide evidence that all these people belong together.  They are such a bunch of misfits, to put it the nicest I can, who cannot do anything simply like even eat a different place (Rosalita's it shall be forever).  I think anyone should be so lucky to have friends like these they can identify with on the same level of insanity without having that one "normal" person in the bunch who can judge you.

Kill The Kids, Steal The Corpse's Hair

American Dad, S07E11

I liked this episode better than the other FOX shows last Sunday.  It was about Stan getting older in a fashion that reminder me of the movie Thinner.  There was also a side story about Francine and Roger, involving lies and a funeral.

Stan lays on some ageist remarks on one of his coworkers, Ray, whom he has stolen a job from.  Although he was being a jerk, I liked that he chastised Ray for cooking a sponge in the microwave because he thought it was a hot pocket.  He even turned it over in between.  I love a good hot pocket joke.

Stan gets cursed at the hiking goods store after he makes horrible remarks to the older man holding up the line.  I enjoyed the gradual aging of Stan.  He was particularly funny when he went to the doctor and thought he had aids because he couldn't understand the doctor saying "aged."  He looked so bad as an old man, especially when he went to work in some sagging jeans in order to look younger.  Those whitey tighties were not flattering on him one bit.

Halley figures out that the curse said upon Stan was in Latin, but it was Claus who knew what it meant.  That would have seemed odd to me except he explained it.  Still, that fish is pretty useless on a regular basis.  Sometimes I think Roger is enough of an oddity (they have to have one in the Seth MacFarlane shows) to add the weird element to their family.  Claus also gives Stan the idea that to break the curse he has to complete his dream of climbing Mount Kilimanjaro as an old man.  I thought from the beginning that it wouldn't work.  And it doesn't.

Although it seems ridiculous to have a man who has aged to about 80 or 90 by then travel overseas and climb a mountain, this part is the best segment of the episode.  Stan mistakenly thinks that Halley and Steve are going to kill him, so he decides to get to them first.  The gag was that each time he tried to get them, he would fall asleep mid-attack.  I loved it.  I also liked how Halley and Steve kept talking to him in a condescending tone and referred to him as "Papa."  So cute it made me laugh.

Stan finally succeeds in staying awake to attack them and chases them with a knife all the way up the mountain.  That's pretty ridiculous even for a cartoon.  Wouldn't he get tired, despite his murderous desire to off his children, climbing up there with no break??  Halley "luckily" falls off before Stan can get her again, but Steve gets a knife right in his back!  I was wondering how in the world they would survive all that.  Some random guys just collected them and carried them down.  The other thing that made me go "really?" was when Stan fell off the mountain for the longest time.  He was fine after that fall!  There's no way that the ox he rode down until it was just a bloody head saved him from breaking some bones.  An old man fell from a mountain that a young man would have surely died from.  Geez...  That bothered me.

Anyway, Stan broke the curse after a younger man treated him like Stan had treated the man from the store and learned his lesson.  However, he turned into a black Stan.  Uh...what?  He apparently was cursed by someone else at a different time.  So why did the curses bundle together and happen in this weird sequence?  After he cures this one, will he turn into someone else that he treated badly?  Maybe into Claus?  Well, I guess that it's funny on a non-laughable level to end the episode like that.

In the side story, Francine is tricked by Roger over and over again.  It was really dumb, but since it was Roger, you can't be shocked.  However, I didn't know what Roger's angle was from the first time he told Francine he hadn't been "entirely truthful" with her.  I did think from the moment I saw him in that horrible red wig, couldn't he get a better one?  He commented on it soon after my thoughts that it looked like "Garfield had miscarried" on his head.  Ugh.

After many lies that put Francine in an awkward situation with a dead body, Roger reveals his plan all along was to steal his ex-wife's red hair to make a wig.  So he married her and divorced her, in order to steal her hair some day?  I guess for him that would mean nothing since he doesn't appear to age at all.  Also, he doesn't give a damn about manipulating people, as was clear with Francine.  I was happy to see that Francine threw him off a cliff after all the shit he had put her through.  6 months of practicing for a dance competition that didn't exist and defiling a dead woman's body??  Roger's fall was too kind for him.

Very nice episode this week.  I wish the other shows would have had a little more intrigue, though.  One show doesn't make up for a disappointing Sunday.