He's Pinocchio? That's Kinda Disappointing

Once Upon A Time, S01E20

Emma wanted to move forward with her custody battle against Regina, but Mr. Gold wouldn't help her.  She went to August for help, who said that he would show her the big picture that would help her defeat Regina.  However, Emma failed to believe that August was from the magic world, even though he proved to her that he was the little boy that saved her as an abandoned baby.  August's past life as Pinocchio was revealed, and we learned that his passage to the other world with Emma was conditional that he be the one to guide Emma to believe in the existence of magic and the world where fairy tales are true.  Regina also tried to snatch up David with a story about fate and a good dinner, but he wanted to just stay friends with her.

Finding out that August's illness was actually him turning back to wood (no doubt for all the things he failed to do that he promised) was less interesting than I was hoping his ailment would be.  It does explain why he looked like he was too stiff to get out of bed in another episode.  What was better about knowing his identity was that Mr. Gold had already figured it out and was rubbing the fact that he hadn't reconnected with his father in this world yet.  You have to enjoy that a little bit after the crap that August pulled in the previous episode.  I felt bad for the old man who did everything to protect his child, but his kid turned out to be August, rather than feeling for August who saw his father for the first time in about 28 years but couldn't exactly have the family reunion he wanted.  I just don't know why August hadn't found him before.  He's had plenty of time to look around town (I assume Storybrooke is not that big) and see everyone.

I don't know if I was too impressed by the fact that Pinocchio was the one who got to come with Emma in the magic wardrobe to the non-magic world.  I think it was a little pointless, really, that he did come because he didn't stay by her side long enough at all.  You can't blame a boy that young for wanting to escape a horrible place so he could have a chance at a better life instead of guarding a baby for 20 plus years.  That's a lot of responsibility for a boy that came to be from a damn piece of wood.  I did feel bad for Emma, left on her own, when she could have had someone always out there to take care of her.  If August had tried any time before Emma had entered Storybrooke to checkup on her or do the task he had been entrusted, I might have forgiven him.  But instead he waited until he started feeling his limbs turning back into wood to run to her side.  What a useless piece of wood he is!  Almost anyone (besides the Queen) would have been a better traveling companion for Emma.

I half wanted Emma to believe August in the woods, but I half wanted her to regard him as a nutcase because I just don't care to see him end up happy.  I don't know what the best way would have been for anyone to get Emma to believe at that point, but I don't think that showing her the tree that they exited out of to another world, was the best approach.  I did like that Emma figured out that August was the one who tampered with Henry's book.  Of course, that only made him look even less credible in her eyes.  I did expect, a little, that if Emma touched that tree she would get some kind vision of the magic world and start to believe.  Then again, Emma has no memories of that world since she was only there for a few minutes before they sent her away.  I guess she can't remember her mother's face or anything like that.

MM had a brilliant scene with Mayor Bitch, where she forgave her and both pitied her for her sad existence that only meant anything to herself through making others' suffer.  She totally detailed how pathetic and empty the Mayor's life is, and Mayor Bitch just had to stand there and listen.  Points for you, MM!  Later, when the Mayor was trying to get David in her clutches (no doubt to take a stab at MM), she was easily turned down.  All of the pity and talk of how it was fate that brought her to save him that cold night ain't gonna make him want her.  I hate David, but I give him credit for not being so stupid that he would think the universe wanted him to be with the Mayor.  Although, the misery she could have brought to his life could have been a good punishment for him.  Huh...  No, I wouldn't want MM to have to see Mayor Bitch being smug about having David when she couldn't.  It's better this way.  The Mayor might try some other scheme involving David later that might harm him.  That would be good.  Maybe if he almost dies, I might be happier that he's still living and still scum.

Emma started to drive off with Henry to leave Storybrooke!  Um...can Henry leave the town safely?  Also, that's pretty illegal, and I'm sure she'll be charged with kidnapping if they make it out of town.  If Emma thinks this is a good idea to get back at Mayor Bitch, she's crazier than she thinks August is.  I groaned when I saw her driving away.  This is going to blow up in her face so badly.

I think this episode was a little disappointing.  I wanted to see more of Mr. Gold getting August back for that crap he did last week, but he only seems to be teasing him more than anything.  August can frankly turn into a piece of wood right now and float away in a river.  He's just below David as my least favorite characters right now.  I think that Emma is going to be in a world of trouble if she manages to escape Storybrooke with Henry.  It disappoints me even more that she would resort to running instead of fighting at this point.  Something better get in her way as she tries to flee because I can't foresee her decision ending well for her or Henry.

I Knew I Liked Gold. And I Knew I Hated August

Once Upon A Time, S01E19

With Kathryn's return, Mary-Margaret was free, but she had no desire to get back with David.  Mr. Gold thought his long-lost son was August, but quickly realized he had been had.  August was revealed to be another person from the other world who was hoping that Emma's powers to change things might cure his illness.  Rumpelstiltskin's past with his son Baelfire was further explained, shedding light on certain things about Mr. Gold.  Emma thought that she would soon have evidence that the Mayor was behind Kathryn's disappearance, but Sidney confessed to it all.  Emma got tired of the Mayor playing around with others' lives for her own goals and told her that she was going to attack her by reclaiming Henry as her son.

I think one of the best things about MM being lifted of all her crimes is the party where she mentions that there were a lot of people celebrating her freedom, but just the other day it was like no one was her friend.  Man, true dat!  If it was me, the party would consist of me drinking and demanding that everyone apologize to me!  It was also good that she wouldn't even let David in.  I thought he might try to smooth things over, and I was worried that MM might try to take him back.  Thank God she is listening to the signs of the universe.  David's one of my least favorite people on the show.  I know that the Mayor is trying to keep them apart, but maybe with good reason this time.  David needs to do something so incredibly wonderful for MM that I can forget that he's failed her so many times.  Not sure what would be good enough.  Possibly if he made a time machine and went back and fixed his mistakes.  That might be a good place to start.

Emma didn't have a lot of screen time in this episode, but she had a great scene at the end with the Mayor.  I expected that Sidney wouldn't want to stop being Regina's bitch, but I still was pissed that he came into the station and played the role of the Mayor's scapegoat.  Good thing that Emma was just as pissed as me because she set Mayor Bitch straight and told her that things were no longer going to just go any way that she wanted from then on.  I loved when the Mayor tried to interject and Emma was like "uh-uh--I'm talking!"  Not quite sure how someone like Emma would get custody of Henry with her history and the Mayor's seemingly sparkling clean one.  Still, it would be nice if the Mayor started sweating a bit.

Speaking of making the Mayor sweat, Mr. Gold was on fire in this episode.  While the Mayor complained that he had broken their deal, he let her know that he had done everything that he had promised (which wasn't killing anyone).  She then wondered why he had brought her the curse in the first place if Gold was going to be her enemy.  Mr. Gold told her smart ass to figure it out for herself.  I hadn't thought about that issue either, so I started to wonder why he would want to go to Storybrooke in the first place.

We found out the answer after looking into Rump's past again.  I was worried that Baelfire would get killed for some reason, and that's why Rump is seen son-less later on.  But I guess that was a stupid concern because Rump turned a man into a snail and crushed him just for making Baelfire scrape his knee.  There's no way that he wouldn't have been able to use his magic to keep one measly son alive.  What happened was worse than him being killed--Rump basically abandoned him and lost faith in him.  He let his son fall into a mysterious, glowing hole in the ground by himself.  After he disappeared, Baelfire might as well have been dead at that point because who knows what would happen to him in the other world?  Especially as a boy with no parents and no knowledge of the workings of the new world?  Terrible.  At least, Rump realized his horrible mistake immediately after he had no son left to protect.  Too little, too late, though.

One of the interesting things about Baelfire's disappearance and Rump's obsession to get him back was when he spoke to the Blue Fairy.  She was the one that gave Baelfire the idea that he could get to the other world by using a curse since there were no more magic beans left to use.  The Blue Fairy told him that it would never work, but he tried to smack her (Ha!) and swore that he would get it to work.  Now it makes sense that he hates the nuns in the other world.  They're all fairies.  I hadn't thought about why he was such a nun-hating miser since that story about Grumpy, but I'm glad they explained that.  I'm surprised he hasn't evicted the nuns already (or worse).

Another interesting thing is that Rump has always been plotting for this.  He has never wanted to help the Queen, but just wanted to get to the other world so that he could be reunited with his son once again.  Obviously, it hasn't happened yet, but I bet that he needs Emma's power or something for his happy ending (assuming that Baelfire will forgive him) to come true.  As much of an unsavory character that Mr. Gold portrays himself to be, I felt for him when he was pouring his heart out to Archie and when he thought that he had found his son in August.  Who would have thought he would have a tearful hug with someone?  It was nice to see, but I was highly skeptical of August.

August didn't betray my mistrust of him.  What an asshole to pretend to be Gold's son!  Mr. Gold has never shown such a vulnerable side and this guy strolls into town and manages to get him to act like a human being.  I enjoyed Mr. Gold sharing a fake, but sweet moment, but no one could enjoy August toying with people's emotions like he did.  I don't care if he wanted to use Rump's powers to cure his illness--you don't do that to people!  Of course, Mr. Gold would have never agreed to help him in the first place no matter what he told him, but it still doesn't give him the right to use such a sneaky method.  I loved when Mr. Gold had the knife on him.  I really wish he had sliced his head off.  I'm so over August and his mysterious presence.  But Gold has something in mind for him before he kicks the bucket.  Not sure how he'll be useful to him, but we'll see in good time.  August may kick the bucket any soon, so we don't have to wait too long for him to die.  If Mr. Gold still did have his Rump powers, August would so have been a snail underneath his shoe.

So where is Baelfire?  Is he in town already but just doesn't realize Gold is his father?  No.  I doubt that.  The Storybrooke people are cursed and can't leave.  Baelfire could be anywhere in the world.  The world that Mr. Gold can't even get to if Emma doesn't break the curse.  I wonder if Emma is going to start believing in magic soon, so that she can actually make it happen.  Perhaps that's what Mr. Gold intends to use August for before he dies.  Maybe if the two work together, they may get Emma to become a believer.

Also, when is MM going to confront the Mayor about her grudge against her?  After the initial joy of being free wears off, she should definitely address that again.  She has to think that the Mayor is nuts and needs to be locked away.  Perhaps she'll just start helping Emma bring her down.  She doesn't have David to distract anymore (at least for a while, anyway).

Man, this show is so good!  I'm going to be super sad when the season ends!  There's just so much that I want to know and so little time to see all the stories before the summer.  It would be nice, though, to have Emma make some progress bringing down the Mayor.  If that and nothing else is achieved, I can be a little more content to wait until next fall.

Emma Meets The Mad Hatter

Once Upon A Time, S01E17

This week we were taken into Wonderland and learned about the back story of Jefferson, aka the Mad Hatter.  In Storybrooke, Emma tried to get MM back to her cell before the arraignment next morning, but got abducted by Jefferson instead who wouldn't let her go until she mads him a magic hat that would let him get back to his old world.

It probably took me longer than most people to figure out who Jefferson was supposed to be because I was only thinking of fairly tales that mostly came from the Grimm variety rather than other stories of magic and fantasy.  The last thing I thought he would be from was somewhere like Alice and Wonderland.  I've never heard of the Mad Hatter having a daughter (actually, I've never heard of his background story period), so the scenes of him and his daughter threw me for a loop.  Not even when Jefferson pulled out his magic hat to transport himself and the Queen (whom he called "Regina," something I thought was odd until later) into the passageway into different worlds.  I just simply thought he was a magician until they went through a mirror-like door, and they were walking through tall grass and mushrooms.  Yes, it took me until then to realize "This must be Wonderland" and the smoking caterpillar confirmed my theory.

I liked that through Jefferson and the Queen's recovery mission in the Queen of Hearts' garden we learned that the two queens were sort of rivals.  I thought perhaps they might have been sort of friends (both being unreasonably cruel rulers), but after the Queen revealed that the box she retrieved actually held her a shrunken version of her father (whom she returned to full-size with a piece of mushroom), it looked like they were considerably enemies.  It's unclear to me, however, why the Queen chose to get her father at that time (I assume it's around the time Snow was going to save Charming?) or how long the Queen of Hearts had kept him prisoner there.

Even though we don't have much time to understand the relationship between Jefferson and Grace, I felt for him when he was trapped in Wonderland and wouldn't be able to keep his promise to return to her in time for their tea party.  Queen Bitch had to rub it in that she was double-crossing him by throwing his own words back at him about family being important and said that if he really cared about Grace, he should have never left her in the first place.  She has a lot of nerve.  Worse than her basically sticking her tongue out at him as she left him there, Jefferson was taken to the Queen of Hearts who had his head cut off when he didn't answer her question.  She's about as sympathetic to Jefferson's desire to go home as the other queen was and told him if he wanted to go home to make another magical hat.  It was nice how they explained why he was a "mad hatter" by the fact that after being stuck in Wonderland he became obsessed with making another hat that would send him home (he looked damned crazy with the thousands of hats surrounding him in that one scene).  It was no wonder that in Storybrooke he was just as nutty (although I'm not sure why he has awareness of his former self unlike everyone else except Mr. Gold).

Storybrooke Jefferson is just as miserable, trapped in a beautiful house by himself while he can only look into other lives through telescopes (glad he's not using it for creepier reasons).  He was suspicious from the beginning, wandering around in the woods at night, but he seemed like just a lonely guy until he drugged Emma's tea.  His offer of a hot beverage was fishy to me anyhow, but Emma didn't seem to think so and drank with little hesitation.  When she woke up later tied and gagged (and also did he remove some of her clothes??), I'm sure she won't be making that mistake again.

I was pretty impressed by the way Emma smashed her cup with a pillow and used the shard to free herself.  Guess she wasn't a private detective for nothing.  She was at least skillful enough to not immediately get caught by a weirdo who was not only sharpening scissors (I don't care if he makes hats--was there a need to do that right then??) but had also tied up MM in another room.  When I saw that, I was hoping that Emma would throw a chair out a window and they would just hope for the best and jump out of there as soon as possible.  This has to be the creepiest situation that Emma and MM have been in thus far.

Things looked worse when Jefferson had them at gunpoint before the two could escape, and he seemed to only have plans for Emma (MM was tied up again, but he claimed it was for her own good).  I thought he was simply working for Mayor Bitch at first (based on their previous connection in the other world), but then it just turned out he wanted her to make him a working hat.  At this point, I was wondering if the line between Storybrooke and the magic world would be broken if Emma started to believe in what Jefferson was saying. I started thinking that this might be the moment when Emma truly believed what Henry was talking about, especially when she said that she would love to think that MM was her mother.  Instead, Emma was just playing around with Jefferson and whacked him over the head while his guard was down.

I wasn't too worried that Emma and MM would make it out all right, even when Jefferson was rolling around with Emma and almost looked like he was going to shoot her.  I didn't expect MM to knock him over with a chair and then kick him out of the window, though.  That was pretty cool.  However, they were less freaked out that Jefferson was gone when they looked below.  If it was me and a seemingly maniac like him was holding me against my will, I would have been a lot more cautious as to whether he was still around.  Of course, I'm pretty sure that Emma's hat had "worked" and he had been sent to another world, but MM and Emma didn't know that.  They were way too relieved at his disappearance.  Also, why did Emma keep the hat and throw it into her car?  Evidence?  She need a reminder of the horrible night she and MM shared?

I was unexpectedly touched when Emma was telling MM how important she was to her and asking for her to have faith in her (once again).  Since Emma gave her the car keys and let MM choose whether to flee or stay, I knew that MM would definitely stay.  It was a great moment when MM was in her cell right where she was supposed to be, and Mayor Bitch couldn't believe it.

I'm not sure what the deal is that Mayor Bitch and Mr. Gold have.  Is he just pretending he will help MM in court or is he leading the Mayor on about whether he is on her side?  I might just have missed something in another episode (possibly when Mr. Gold was in jail himself).  Either way, I'm worried about whether Mr. Gold will really help Emma out like he promised or if he's playing for Mayor Bitch's side (at least for now, anyway).

Emma held onto Henry's book at the end, so I'm starting to think she is little by little believing in the other world. Either that or she was really captivated by Jefferson's story and just had to see if what he told her matched up to anything in  the book.  I dunno.  Hopefully it does mean she will soon be a "believer."   She may be even sooner if Jefferson pops out of that hat sometime.

So MM should be going to court in the next episode, I guess.  If Mr. Gold isn't going to actually defend her, then she is going to be in deep shit.  I suspect that no matter what happens Emma will do whatever she can to make sure her "family" doesn't end up on death row.  I wonder if next time we will see Snow go to save Charming or if it will be about another lesser character.  Either way, as usual, I'm eagerly waiting to see this story unfold.

MM Needs That Memory Wipe Potion For David

Once Upon A Time, S01E16

Last Sunday, we returned to the story about Snow and Charming after Snow had taken the potion to make her forget her love.   I had forgotten for a moment about that story since we had taken a little detour with the other stories, but I see how they tie in a little to that story seeing as Grumpy and Red are friends of Snow that help her, but we didn't know much about them before.  While the love story between Charming and Snow is gaining momentum, it's a different story in Storybrooke where I'm wondering what it's going to take for MM to send David to the curb for real.  If I thought I didn't like David before, I had no idea how much I'd wish that it had been his heart in that box and not Kathyrn's (as much as I didn't care for her).

I'll start off with the story in the other world.  It was great to see Snow almost act like a stereotypical Disney-esq princess, complete with blue bird to sing with, until she started attacking it with a broom.  That was really unexpected.  I like her transformation from a sweet girl into an angry back-talking bitch.  Better than her attacking the bird was when she attacked all her dwarf friends during Jiminy Cricket's intervention.  I forget which of them complained that she broke his mug, but her response to that ("you're lucky it's not that mug you call a face"--damn) was so funny!  The only thing that lame intervention achieved besides laughter from me was Snow's determination to get deadly revenge against the Queen.

Overlooking that the Queen deserves to be killed, I like a version of Snow White where Snow is not just hiding all the time while taking care of little men in a house.  Why not have her take the preemptive strike and take care of the Queen herself before that witch tries to poison her with an apple??  I mean, the Queen did kill her father and drive her out of her home.  I say go get that bitch!  

However, Grumpy (who might need to be renamed "All Up In Others' Business") stops her reign of terror against unsuspecting knights in the woods and takes her to Rumpelstiltskin.  Oh, yeah, Ol' Rumple will be sure to cure her.  Not only can he not do anything to change her back to her old self, the goblin gives her a bow and arrow and a map so that she can murder the Queen while she's traveling.  Sweet.  He doesn't ask for anything because he is "invested in her future."  Um, I wonder if Snow would be more curious to know the details of that if she wasn't so blinded by her revenge.

It gets even better when Rumple has another guest later.  Charming nearly takes off his head to get information about Snow's wheareabouts.  Rumple gives him the information upon the condition that he give him his cloak.  Before he had taken a string of Snow's hair, so it was safe to assume that he wanted Charming's hair too.  Why, this wasn't clear until later he put the two hairs together and seemed to have created the potion for true love.  Huh.  What the hell is going to do with that?  He surely isn't going to use it on himself since he already booted his love out of his life and out of hers ultimately.  The thing that was really good about Charming showing up wasn't the mystery of Rumple collecting hairs, it was the sort of scolding he gave Charming for hurting Snow in the first place and forcing her to drink the potion.  As underhanded as the little man is (he's pretty short), he's damn right.  You can't blame Rumple too much for Snow wanting  end her pain over losing Charming.

It was pretty hilarious that Charming thought that he could simply just grab Snow and kiss her without even making her remember him and think that would break the spell.  I wouldn't have expected anything less of Snow when she punched him out.  However, it didn't really take very much (if you consider a serious wound nothing) for Charming to win her over.  He simply had to jump in the way of her arrow aimed at the Queen and declare that he would die for her.  Snow stupidly asks, "You would die for me?"  The man had a freaking arrow sticking out of his arm.  If he had leaped in a different way that damn arrow could have easily pierced an organ that would have killed him.  Come on now, Snow.  I also find it funny that they were having a makeout session after their true love kiss broke the spell (I was little more happy to see them reconnect than I had thought) while that arrow was still sticking out of him.  I wondered when the hell his wound was going to be important enough to take care of.

I didn't get to find this out since King George's men showed up (I thought they were the Queen's men at first) and took Charming away.  But I liked that it turned the tables and now Snow has to go save him.  Of course, now that she's not a bitch anymore, her dwarf friends are more than happy to help her out.  Thank goodness.  Snow is pretty brave, but I doubt she could do it on her own.

Now back to Storybrooke where MM is sinking deeper and deeper into the case of Kathryn's disappearance.  Through some questioning by Emma, which is observed by Mayor Bitch, we find out that the box with the heart in it is MM's jewelry box.  That's just too convenient for it not to be a setup.  And how dare the mayor suggest that the dark place she was sent to when the old sheriff humiliated her was the same as MM and David's situation.  Lady, please!  She further urged Emma to accept MM was a killer by saying such heartbreak and betrayal can make someone do unspeakable things.  Yeah, you would know, Mayor Bitch--you crushed a man's heart and killed him because he dumped you!  Ridiculous.  She was basically on a role of pointing the fingers at herself for setting up MM; she later tells Emma that MM had to have taken the jewelry box out to the bridge herself because there were no signs of a break-in.  Bitch, we all know you have a key to every damn thing in the whole town.

However, Emma had no idea about this and her investigation of their apartment only ended up revealing another item that could incriminate MM.  I just now realized that the mayor intentionally brought up the idea of a break-in to Emma so that she would purposely find that knife in the heating vent!  I can't believe I didn't notice that before.  That bitch is slick.  Thankfully, Henry steals Mayor Bitch's many keys and finds that one of them can indeed open their apartment.  I'm just worried that she'll notice the keys are missing before Henry can put them back, letting her know that Emma is on to her.

One of my favorite scenes in the Storybrooke world is when Mr. Gold appears out of nowhere to offer his lawyer services to MM.  Well, he is the devil, but with him handling her case, MM should get off with little problem.  The only problem will be her having to pay off the debt she owes to him.  However, I'm pretty sure that Mr. Gold is only concerned with knocking the Queen off her throne and establishing himself as the dominant power.  So perhaps he will be true to his word about only being "invested in her future."  If they have to have both him and his fairy tale counterpart say that, it's gotta be important.

You would think MM went through enough with all the evidence piling up against her and having to take help from the most suspicious and crooked man in town, but David came to the "rescue."  He thought he could help her by finding evidence of his own guilt in Kathyrn's death (which slightly redeemed him in my eyes a moment) by clearing up some of the blackouts he had recently.  Instead of being helpful, he only remembers a bit from his life as Charming when Snow declares she will kill the Queen.  He doesn't even take much time to consider if the memory is real or not and visits MM, not with hope, but with an obvious accusation that she murdered Kathryn.  David, are you really in love with MM or are you finding pleasure in betraying her at every opportunity?  For real.  What the hell??  MM has really gone beyond what any sane woman would for someone like him, defending his innocence, while he can't even manage to have a fraction of reciprocal faith.  You asshole!  You could have at least pretended you found out you were the killer and protected her!  Why not just take the blame when it's all your damn fault anyway??  Snow may have not needed that potion Rumple gave her, but MM sure as hell does.  I hope something happens that she hits her head or something and his face is wiped clean from her brain.

I'm worried, though, about MM flying off the handle now that David has seemed to give up on her.  Emma sure hasn't, but I feel like MM wasn't honest that she had faith in her, not just because she used that key she found to escape from her cell.  That key looks an awful lot like one of Mayor Bitch's, so I hope it's not another setup to show that she's fleeing out of guilt of her crime.  I wonder how Emma will react when she finds out that MM is gone?

In the next episode, I hope things will be a little better for MM even though it's not looking good for her at all.  David sure as hell better get his ass kicked or something of equal unpleasantness to punish him for his lack of faith.  I don't feel great about Emma aligning herself with Mr. Gold either, but at least it's better than her facing Mayor Bitch on her own.  She might have a chance to get that whore before she gets MM in line to be executed or something.  Also, since MM is free from the jail she best be out to get the mayor like Snow was out to get the Queen.  MM is way past due to take a vacation from her sweet and loving personality and be a vengeful warrior taking numbers as she kicks ass.

Grannie Says Wear Yo Hood!

Once Upon A Time, S01E15

This week we got a little look into Red Riding Hood's past, aka Ruby from the diner.  I had been curious as to how Red and Snow knew each other.  The one thing I hadn't been curious about was her red hood.  It only began to be curious when her grandmother told us that the red in the hood kept wolves away.  That struck me as odd because through some kind of education (ha) about wolves, I was under the impression that red attracted wolves.  At least it did if were talking about Grimm and that very first episode.  Red's Grannie just seemed suspicious all around, but I wasn't entirely sure if she was hiding the fact that she was the wolf or not.

Thanks to the encouragement of Snow, who goes by the name "Mary" to protect herself, Red decides that she needs to go out and kill the wolf so she would be free to travel around with her love Peter.  It wasn't quite the idea that Snow had in mind, but these two fearless girls go ahead and track down a wolf that killed about five men and spilled enough blood that the well water was red.  Even though Red thinks they'll be safe since the wolf will be sleeping in the daytime, I just imagined they were going to get all those flowy cloaks they were wearing torn to shreds and painted with blood.  Instead, they think that Peter is the wolf.  It totally reminded me of that Red Riding Hood movie that came out not too long ago.  In that movie, Red's love interest was looking like the most likely candidate for the wolf too.

Red was really fearless, though.  Not only did she go wolf hunting on her own, but she also decided to stay by Peter's side if he did indeed turned into the wolf that night.  Unfortunately, she turned out to be the wolf, and Peter had no defense against her while he was chained up.  Oops.  Grannie had neglected to tell Red about the family history and the magical powers of her hood.  Lady, did you really think just yelling at your granddaughter all the time to "wear your hood!" was the best way to ensure that she stopped changing into a wolf?  She could have come up with a better lie, if she was going to lie at all.  After she killed someone, it probably would have been a good time to stop protecting her and let her know what the hell was going on with her body.  Wear your hood, indeed.

Now, back in Storybrooke, I was a little disappointed that Ruby's story didn't parallel as well.  I mean, she did try to ditch Grannie and live her own life, but there was nothing that reflected that wolf side she had in the other world.  Actually, before they showed that Red was the wolf, I kept thinking that the wolf might be that doctor, just because he was in the episode randomly (and this is no random in this show).  Perhaps they have already told us who he was in the other world, but I don't remember.  Anyway, I wanted some kind of call to her wolf nature besides that she seems to have good hearing (she found David really quickly) and instincts (finding that box with the heart in it).

I was also disappointed that Red went back to the diner.  Finding that heart was too much for her to handle.  Well, dang.  I thought it would be cool if Emma had a partner of some sorts.  Someone who could have her back when Mayor Bitch appears to tell Emma she's doing a shitty job (Lady, will you shut the hell up??).  I guess that would mess with the flow of the show?

I'm confused why David was wandering through the forest in a trance.  He was kinda doing that sort of thing when he didn't have his memories, but this is almost as if someone drugged him (maybe it was that doctor or the Mayor herself).  Still, I wish that MM didn't care about him so much and just would leave him to get arrested on his own.  Even though with MM's prints on the box in question, it looks like she will be sitting in jail instead.  Are you kidding me??  You're telling me that MM has to get into more shit again because of David.  Yes, I will still blame him even if that box was planted by the Mayor.  If David hadn't been such an asshole before, they wouldn't have set Kathryn up to disappear in the first place.

But let's be real--a heart in a box?  That has the Mayor written all over it.  Let us not forget when she took the old Sheriff's (how I miss him!) heart out of her collection and crushed it.  I mean, it's practically her hobby.  There's no other explanation.

And speaking of Mayor Bitch.  God, how I wish Emma would have slapped her, at least, when she barged into the hospital accusing Emma left and right about things.  And of course, she got in another "Hey, you haven't done your job yet and found Kathryn."  Listen, Lady, you want your "friend" back so badly, you find her!  Emma is only one woman in a town that doesn't have the best sources in the country, I'm sure.

I think I still liked last week's episode better because I can't be that invested in what might happen to David and MM.  I mean, I want MM to be okay, and I'm not sure how Emma will be able to work around the evidence, but this story at its heart is about David and MM being together, and I don't want to see that.  I don't want David to come to her rescue, nor for them to bond over one of them going to jail or worse.  No!  Just let David disappear or something!  Like he needs to go for a while, so I can care about him again (if ever).  On another note, looking forward to whose backstory they do next time.  It's amazing that they can make these episodes interesting even for those who are simply background characters (at least at this point).

Don't See Why Dwarves Don't Use The Axes To End It All

Once Upon A Time, S01E14

In the other world, dwarfs are born from eggs and live a loveless existence, knowing little of the world beyond the diamond mines.  But, hey, they get to spread joy to everyone else in the world with the fairy dust that is made from the diamonds--it all equals out, right?  Seriously, sometimes this show depresses me.  Of course, there are many things in reality that are far more depressing than little men forced to be miners for their entire lives, but I don't watch shows like this to think about the suffering in the world.  I'm just saying--those dwarfs in the fairy tale world get screwed over pretty well.  And who in the hell is making those eggs they come out of??  I suppose they can't have factories where the full-grown men are born; this is a magical place.  Eggs it is.  Still, when a human-like creature pops out of an egg and their kind is noted for lacking females, I can't easily go along with it.

OK, enough with that head-scratcher.  I think that Leroy and Astrid's romance was cute, but awfully fast-paced (as much as it can be for a nun and a drunk).  He fell for her so easily and was ready to give her the moon in a second.  Even for love-at-first-sight, he was a little too forthcoming.  Leroy told her all about his life's dream within a few minutes.  Then again, maybe that's something he does every time someone insinuates that his custodial profession isn't the most glamorous career.  This aside, they made an interesting couple with her being a klutzy dreamer and him being a scruffy scamp.  Luckily, they seemed to make a significant connection in the current world, even though there were some hiccups.

My favorite of such bumps along the road was when Leroy tried to save Astrid by selling his dream boat to Mr. Gold in exchange for money or to extend their rent payment date.  Mr. Gold reveals another level to his status of being a heartless old miser by refusing to deal with Leroy if his intention was to save the nuns.  Apparently they were a "distasteful" group that he has a "complicated" relationship with.  God, how I wanted to know more about that!  What made me love Mr. Gold even more at that moment was Leroy pointing out how surprised he was that when it came to getting his money, Mr. Gold had no special place in his heart for the Sisters:

You don't like nuns?  Who doesn't like nuns?

 It's good that I was thoroughly engaged in Leroy's story well enough that I hadn't been wondering when Mr. Gold was going to make his appearance, but I was glad when he did and have no complaints about the length he was around.  He was there long enough to kick down another person in need of money before he shuffled away with his cane.  Gotta love him.

 Another good that came out of Leroy and Astrid's "love affair," was that MM seemed to gain a little perspective about her own harlot-status while watching Leroy fight for a romance that could never be.  In fact, Leroy was great at not giving up, despite MM wanted to throw in the towel.  He even imparted upon her some wisdom about the value of creating good moments, despite they may be short-lived:

Isn't that what life's about?  Holding on to your good memories?

Indeed.  I think Leroy was just what the doctor ordered to kick MM in the ass and make her stop wallowing in self-pity.  And in the end, after they sold all the candles that seemed impossible to sell (really? everyone managed to buy off 1000 candles in one night??), some of the townspeople seemed to be warming up to MM again.  That was a nice moment that gave me those warm fuzzies I usually don't get when watching TV.

Possibly David is headed to jail for Kathryn's disappearance and the Mayor and Sidney are trying to set him up, but who gives a damn?  If MM was smart she'd keep out of it because he deserves whatever setup they are trying to pull.  But MM won't.  She'll believe in David, despite he acted like an ass.  And speaking of asses, I was so annoyed by the Mayor telling Emma to do her job or she'd find someone else to do it.  Bitch, shut up!  So tired of her trying to tell Emma how to do her job.  I was happy, though, she was barely in this episode and not preventing more love connections.

This was an unexpectedly fairly good episode about lesser characters.  However, maybe I'm a little more inclined to enjoy this story after I haven't seen much TV lately that I liked as a whole.  Either way, I think that Once Upon a Time has a good chance of fixing a spot in my primary shows if it indeed makes it to a second season.

Prince Charming In One Life, Prince Scum In Another

 Once Upon A Time, S01E13

 

The focus of this episode was the love triangle of Mary Margarette, David, and Kathryn.  Just when I thought their situation had hit a wall, things got into motion again.  I've been a little unhappy with David sitting on the fence for a while, and Mary Margarette getting sucked into the fantasy of a possible romance with him.  I should feel sorry for Kathryn, who is probably the most innocent in all of this, but I just don't like her.  My love of MM (Mary Margarette) automatically makes me take her side.

Anyway, at the beginning there are a few seconds of a stiff dinner between Kathryn and David before she tells him that she plans to move to Boston and go to law school.  We know that she'll never make it out alive or unharmed, so that's never going to happen.  Well, instead of telling his wife what his true feelings are, he lies and then goes out for a night stroll with MM.  He wants her advice about what to do and has little plan of his own!  God, get a spine, David!  After he acts like a bitch, refusing to make up his mind, he tells MM that he chooses her and will tell Kathyrn the truth.  Yay!  Finally!  ...Or so we thought.

Later, David goes to Kathyrn to break things off, but instead of being a decent person, he tries to be the "nice guy" and tell her that nothing is going on.  The two of them just can't connect, and he doesn't know why.  What??  David!!  I'm starting to hate his weak ass!  It's not as if Kathryn might not have understood, given that she saw that MM was falling for her husband months ago.

But I have to say that MM has been living in Naive Land.  She tells Emma that she thought that she was being discreet with her secret relationship with David.  Please!  I'm sure everyone was simply pretending not to notice out of convenience.  However, no one was looking the other way when Kathryn found out about the affair (thanks to Mayor Break-Hearts) and slaps MM right at school.  Thanks to that she quickly becomes the town whore, complete with "TRAMP" painted on her car so that the 2 people in town that might not have heard will definitely know.  David was "heroically" trying to wash it off before she gets there, but he should have been on his knees begging for her forgiveness!  He just made excuses and hardly seemed apologetic for the scarlet letter MM now had on her back.

I wish I could have been sad when MM breaks it off with David.  I felt bad that she felt like a foolish piece of crap, for about the second or third time.  I suspect this time will be for good, or until David can become a man.  I could stand for them to be apart for another 5 or so episodes, at least.  Actually, I hope that something terrible happens to him because I'm sick of him hurting MM and his only punishment being that he's unhappy.  He could stand to be more than that, as far as I'm concerned.

Concerning their alter lives, Prince Charming seems like a total different person.  He's not a fraction of the asshole that David is.  I would question they were the same person if that wouldn't be moronic.  Anyway, we find out that Abigail isn't just a stuck-up bitch, but someone who, like Charming, also experienced a lost love.  That was a nice twist because it allowed me to feel a little sympathy for her.  Charming volunteers to save her love, Frederick, who has been turned into gold from Midas' touch.  Seems like quite a thing to do for a woman he didn't care about, but his backup plan is to die on the mission.  Guess that's all he can hope for if Snow isn't in his life.

Charming's encounter with the "beast" of the lake, was predictable.  Don't ask me why, but I knew that a woman would come out of the water.  I didn't expect it to take on the form of people he knew, nor did I think that he would be fooled for a second when it turned into Snow.  How damn lonely is he that he has to make out with a lake demon just because it looked like Snow??  I was rolling my eyes at his stupidity.  But I guess it wouldn't make for good TV if he defeated the beast too easily.  He nearly drowned, but he was able to stab the thing before he ran out of breath.  I kept wondering what the beast really looked like.  I couldn't see while it was underwater.  I guess it's not that important, though.

With the magic water, Frederick is brought back to life.  I'm not sure how long it's been since he has been turned into gold, but I felt like he should had a huge need to pee or something.  I dunno.  I'm not familiar with the rules of turning into gold.  It was a happy ending for Abigail and Frederick, but Charming still had to deal with the fact that his foster father was going to come after him.

And come after him he did!  Is this kingdom really that poor that the king himself needs to come out and chase after people?  Either that or the King was really pissed at him.  This indicates that we won't see the happy ending for Snow and Charming for a while.  Oh, well.

Regarding other things in this episode, Emma starts to learn more about the mysterious writer who came to town:  August W. Booth.  I don't like him for Emma, and we all know that's where it's going.  He just seems like a fancy-free ass, doing whatever he pleases and turning people's judgments back against them.  I'm a little prejudged because I miss the old sheriff.  He's never coming back, but he was much cuter and his personality didn't bother me as much (despite he was doing the Mayor).  They have drinks by the magic well, while he tries to get Emma to believe in magic and such.  Eye roll.  He's also seen earlier tampering with Henry's fairy tale book.  Hmm...  I wonder what pages he took out and put in?

I'm glad that Emma finds it a little more than strange (according to her face) that the book randomly showed up underneath her car.  I hope that it doesn't turn out that Booth is working for the Mayor.  I doubt it because she didn't seem like she wanted Henry to get the book back; she gave him a video game.  So you'd rather your son play video games than read a book?  Wow, lady.  Who cares if you're trying to hide your secret, your parent methods are off.

At the very end we see that Kathryn doesn't make it out of Storybrook.  Actually, the town should be renamed after a line Kathryn had: "If I Stay Here, I'll Never Be Happy" Town.  The Frederick in the current lifetime finds her car (of course!), but Kathryn is missing.  I can't imagine that she'll be found dead because it won't much add to the story.  If she's alive, she can still give David a little hell while finding her true love.  We'll just have to see.

This was a good episode, despite that I was angry at David through most of it.  Things are getting pretty good.