Worst Episode Ever. April Fools!

Ugly Americans, S02E17

Mark prepared to propose a proposal to Callie on April Fools' Day, but the DOI was under lock down due to Mark's predecessor's escape from jail.  Barney had swore murderous revenge on all of them, so they were taking precautions by escaping to a cabin out of town.  Mark found it hard to believe that their emergency was real and resisted sharing their panic until he started to see his friends dead in the woods.  He also learned that Callie used to date Barney and was likely still in love with him.  When Mark, Grimes, and Callie were captured by the madman, they were forced to participate in a twisted dating game show, where Barney seemed to have won Callie's heart again.  Mark fell into a jealous rage and tried to kill the man, but his friends stopped him by letting him know it was an elaborate prank after all.  While all of this was going on Leonard and Randall tried to get back to town to cash a lottery ticket.  They managed to escape from some rapist, hillbilly pig people, but when they tried to redeem the ticket, the clerk refused to accept it because it was ripped in half.

I thought it was kind of half-assed of Mark to want to ask Callie to be engaged to be engaged.  For someone who always pretends to be so responsible, it just sounds like a shallow commitment to trick someone into thinking they were actually serious.  I did like that when he brought up doing it that Randall did seem a little worried that Mark would move out of the apartment one day.  But with them one stage below engaged, I doubt that Randall has to worry about that any time soon.  Even though I thought his proposal was pointless, I still thought Callie would appreciate the gesture, but she barely paid attention to him when he asked her in Randall's van.  I wonder if they weren't all trying to trick Mark would she have been a little more happy about it.

Once Mark made it known that he didn't care for pranks and suspected that the whole DOI emergency was a ruse, I knew that no matter what happened that he was going to be right.  I also assumed that Callie would propose to him in the end since she was a little too disinterested in Mark and his ring in the car.  I feel like she would be the tiniest bit more concerned that her boyfriend was making such a grand (or not) gesture of their love.  However, I enjoyed watching the horror movie-like setting unfold.  It was an interesting idea that Callie's ex was a much better match for her than Mark, and I liked how he was doubting that they belonged together at all (since he was the exact opposite of Barney).  It was also nice to see Mark get mad and stabby.  He rarely lets his temper get the best of him, and it's even rarer that he would resort to violence to solve a problem.  He must really love Callie to get that upset.

I know that they were pranking Mark, but did Eric really use to be a human?  I mean, obviously the guy they paid to play Barney hadn't really worked at the DOI in the past, but I could believe that ridiculous story that someone killed Eric and he was rebuilt as a robot.  He's not made out of anything organic, so someone had to put him together.  So for what purpose was he built?  I usually don't pay attention to his character at all, but that scene where they explained his origins made me curious about his actual story.  But who knows if they will ever address that.  It's only important to people as random as me, I guess.

I actually thought that Leonard's winning lottery ticket was an April Fools' joke too, but it was real after all.  I'm not surprised that Randall became a part of it and tried to swindle him out of the ticket.  What was an interesting turn of events was when those hillbilly pigs captured them.  Never saw that coming.  Glad we didn't have to see too much gross stuff in that department.  I could just laugh at their horrible predicament without having to witness the creepy, sexual things they were exposed to.  Sucked that after all that mess, the clerk refused to honor the ticket.  He made things worse by saying that if Leonard had taped the ticket together first, he might not have noticed it was torn and accepted it.  Oh, well.  Leonard would have surely been a bastard as a millionaire.  He's not the most grounded person to begin with.

For some reason, this episode made me feel like it was a season finale.  That could be possible since they just started the season where they left off before.  I don't think that there's anything really special about Mark and Callie's engagement to engagement, but maybe for them that's a huge step (since I get the feeling that Callie was pretty serious about the reason she was with Mark didn't amount to much more than getting used to him being around).  I didn't have a lot of laughs in this story, but I still liked that everyone worked together to fool Mark.  Despite it being a predictable development, I enjoyed the ride to the obvious conclusion.

Mark Gets Batty

Ugly Americans, S0306

Mark introduced a bat person to his group, but he was soon bit in the crotch and started transforming into a bat person himself.  Rather than seek some of kind of treatment, Mark decided to become a crime fighter and was teamed up with a Robin-knock-off Doug.  Although Mark lacked many superpowers beyond a high-pitched screech, he and Doug made a significant impact on the organized crime in the city among the cat people.  He finally decided to end his hero days after Callie was kidnapped and he had to save her.  Thankfully, Doug's bite was the cure.  Randall also started a taxi service where he recorded celebrities' conversations in a Taxicab Confessions fashion.

Mark's spoof of the original Batman was lame, but I liked that Doug was his Robin counterpart.  Not only was he cute, but he basically did all the real fighting that Mark possibly couldn't do himself.  Other than that, Mark going around dressed in an unimpressive costume got old pretty quickly.  I think the best part of him becoming a bat was that his bug-eyed appearance was joked to look like Steve Buscemi.  Even Sabrina thought it was the famous actor coming to get her when Mark attacked her at the end.  That made me laugh the hardest in this episode.

Beyond that, I don't think I found too much to be funny.  I liked that Callie got over her disgust of Mark's appearance at the end until he started to wild out like the bat who had bit him.  I thought maybe since he was pretty much a bat by that time that he couldn't be turned back, but Mark quickly went back to normal after Doug's bite.  It's a little gross that he has to keep getting daily bites from Doug in the same place for a whole year.  I suppose that's better than Grimes chopping off his penis with a machete

I didn't mind this story, but I guess I imagined that it would be a bit funnier since it was making fun of something I knew.  Then again, Batman has been spoofed over and over again, so it's been done to death.  I might have liked it better if Mark had tried a different way of life as a bat instead of a cheesy superhero.  I think I could even have stood for more of the grosser scenes that I've gotten accustomed to in this show.  If it's not going to be funny or bizarre, the episodes should at least gross me out in an unexpected way.

Randall, The Roommate Worth Killing Over

Ugly Americans, S02E15

Thanks to a new trend of "going zombie," the DOI was overrun with new zombies to integrate into the city.  One of such, named Carl, was under Mark's care, and they quickly become the best of friends to Randall's dismay.  However, Carl wasn't interested in Mark at all (or even a zombie) and just wanted to get Mark out of the way so he could claim his rightful place as Randall's roommate.  Before Mark could meet a watery grave, he figured out Carl's intentions and Grimes (after gaining his senses from proper medical care for his head wound)e had him arrested.  

It was strange seeing Randall as a human again.  It's been a while since we've seen what he used to look like.  He wasn't that different from how is now, but he did seem to have more purpose.  It reminded me that I have no clue what Randall actually does to pay rent or contribute anything in their apartment.  It was also a mystery why Randall would agree to make Mark his roommate, especially when Mark had such a respectable job that Randall couldn't possibly care about.  I was glad to see that there wasn't a random speck of decency in him--he just thought Mark worked in some sex club.  That cleared up a lot about the oddness of them living together.

Mark's choice in movies makes him a bigger dork than I thought was possible.  John Cusack isn't a bad actor, but for him to love him to that extent is borderline creepy (especially with that little figure of him with the boombox).  To make his taste in movies worst, he admires the style of Tyler Perry movies.  Yeah, he has some good ones, but the way Mark described him, you'd think he was a genius.  I have to say that he's more of a one-trick pony.  The characters and the situation may change slightly, but he basically tells the same kind of story every time.  Like, fawning over Cusack is fine in a over-zealous fan kind of way, but I draw the line when you bring Perry into the mix.

Besides cringing at Mark's dorkiness, I had some really good laughs.  One was when Mark and Carl went to the zombie body shop to look at arms for Carl.  Mark found them to be pricey:

[Mark] These arms cost both an arm and a leg.

[Shop Worker] Get out.

Just love how the guy would not tolerate Mark's lame jokes for a second more.  He's my kind of guy.

Another gag that I liked was the landlord of Carl's apartment in Zombie Town.  He gave Carl a set of rules that were not allowed in the apartment and after he left and Carl was laughing about his evil plan, he added another that there was to be no maniacal laughter.  I loved that that rule applied even when his landlord was somehow fishing at the same time Carl and Mark were in a later scene.  He interrupted Carl's laugh again, warning him, "What did I say about the maniacal laughter?"  I like how this show has random things that make me laugh, not necessarily things that I would anticipate.  I get caught up in the gag factor so much that sometimes I forget that it's just silly and fun.

 It was interesting to see someone obsessed with Randall who had no idea how much of an asshole (and a curse, really) he is, especially if one is living with him.  I almost felt bad for Carl, but at least he didn't have to continue being Randall's roommate at the end.  Even though Grimes demanded there be no more flashbacks, I enjoyed them all (and his and Randall's dislike of the excess of them).  For a story that focused on Mark's and Randall's relationship it was a lot less irritating and funnier than I expected.  I guess that was because for once Randall wasn't the one stirring up the most trouble.  It's nice that once in a while Randall can be somewhat innocent in it all.

Mark Dating A Man Not Much Of A Stretch

Ugly Americans, S02E14

Callie decided to have a gender reassignment so that she could take a new job in Atlantis.  As Dick, Mark was reluctant to continue dating her at first, but he came to realize he loved her soul, not her gender.  Even though Mark tried to be understanding to make their relationship work, it all turned out to be a plot to screw over the people of Atlantis.  Callie finally went back to her original gender, but Mark proved that he was a little more comfortable seducing men than anyone else thought (though, if he were being honest with himself, there was probably no surprise).

Callie as Dick was pretty hilarious from Mark's shoes.  I mean, he went from having a cute girlfriend to a handsome boyfriend who was voiced by none other than H. Jon Benjamin.  Watching him make moves on Mark was so funny, especially with Mark's unease about kissing or having sex with a man.  And no one he worked with sided with him on the ridiculous turn of events, finding Mark to be heartless if he couldn't accept Callie.  I love that they practically cheered Mark on to simply adjust to Dick and embrace his homosexual side.

I didn't think that Atlantis would be a male-only city, nor that Mark would have to seduce the King to help Callie stop the Atlantis people from releasing a big drain on Manhattan.  Mark had his hands rubbing up on the King's ass with much more skill than I would have thought.  His complaints to Dick made it seem like he would be more clumsy and awkward, but the King was ready to take the dive with him within minutes of Mark's nearly expert advances.  I could have stood more of Mark being Dick's pawn in that capacity, but Rusty came along and revealed Mark and Dick's deception.

I liked that toward the end Callie was concerned that Mark was a little too comfortable with kissing men (in particular men that weren't her at the moment).  If Callie wasn't half demon, I would say that she would probably need to keep an eye on Mark.  It wouldn't be a shock at all to see him leave her for another man.  Of course, if he did, she would probably pull out his internal organs and barbecue them.  For a man or woman, I don't think Mark would be so stupid as to push Callie aside.

Another interesting point of the story was when Twayne, Randall, Leonard, and Grimes thought they had found Mark's corpse.  They all act a little selfish and are at different times sort of people who cause trouble for Mark, so I didn't expect them to feel too much remorse for his passing.  However, they were all deeply saddened and started fighting over who was Mark's best friend.  I was really surprised with Grimes because he had a lock of Mark's hair that he kept on him.  What in the world?  But they soon stopped lamenting over their fallen friend and worked together to bring down Atlantis and their evil drain.  In fact, I think when they found out Mark was still alive, they didn't give one damn by then.  That's how I thought they would have acted from the beginning.  I guess at least they're not too horrible of people since they can care about Mark (and not just themselves) for even the smallest amount of time.

I think this was a great episode that showed Mark's commitment to Callie.  She might not be the easiest person to be romantically involved with, but at least there's a genuine connection between them.  And maybe Mark doesn't have the greatest bunch of friends around (he certainly has the dumbest), but they're not all bad and better than nothing.  Admist all the sex and grossness in Ugly Americans, there's also a sweetness at the core, which makes me like this show much more than the laughs it can provide.

Randall, The Problem And Solution

Ugly Americans, S02E13

There was a roasting for Twayne (not "Twaine" as I've been misspelling his name) this week, but Mark unsurprisingly couldn't tell a good joke if every comedian in the world was channeling through his body.  Randall supplied him with material that not only was worse than anything Mark would have come up with (by himself Mark would have only gotten silence instead of things thrown at him), but also was so hurtful to Twayne that he gave up his job to Mark.  Mark only had the job for one day, but his decisions instantly put the entire city into chaos and almost caused its destruction.  Although, this all looked like Mark screwed up, it was Randall who made him say all of those horrible things.  But I guess Randall can be forgiven since it was also him who made Twayne come back to his job and smooth things over with the goose people (and stop the bomb from destroying the town).  Still, when will Mark learn to not listen to his moron roommate in the first place?

Listening to Randall, of course, can bring no good, but I didn't think that after Mark got his new title that he would so easily ruin the peace that Twayne somehow created through an excessive birthday celebration system at the DOI.  I mean, they spend so much money and effort on making cakes, cards, and singing a birthday song, but they pay their employees so little?  It's more than outrageous. I can understand why Mark would want to cut the Birthday Department (although, truly it was Leonard who canned everyone).

It was interesting that there is an assembly for all the different species and at heart, they are all held together by cake frosting, when you think about it.  I wonder if had Mark destroyed the budget on anyone else's birthday except Goose Kevin's, would the same thing have happened?  I guess what happened sort of reflects what happens all the time between nations:  a little thing sets off one nation and the next thing you know, there's a full-scaled war.  Of course, we wouldn't be laughing as much because there's no way it could be over something as trivial as a birthday party.

Another interesting point is that as stupid as I thought Twayne to be, he has the job of director down to a science.  It sounds hard to believe that a man who does nothing but have lunch all day and helps chefs create delicious cakes is actually protecting lives.  The most amazing part of his job is that he thinks that if he points out a problem, then someone will definitely come along and solve it for him.  Well, Goose Kevin surely did this time.  It was nice that things worked out so easy, but it was strange to me that the bomb Kevin took off to safety didn't explode in a bigger way (since it was going to destroy the whole town).  I just thought the explosion was a little small.  Maybe it's just me.

Lastly, I have to comment on Randall doing nearly nothing to help Twayne get over his self-loathing.  I kept forgetting what he was doing with Twayne in the first place after watching them do all these random things like have Twayne stuck in a bag full of nothing but cats.  I guess his real purpose was to take advantage of Twayne for a while with the illusion that he was going to "cure" him.  He was just damn lucky that he did.  And it's only right that he did, since his insensitive jokes were the ones that sent Twayne into a shame spiral in the first place.

I liked this story because it showed the significance of Twayne's job.  At times he seems like nothing more than a buffoon, so it's nice to see that he's an essential part of the balance for peace.  Now, if only we could get Randall to stop tipping the scale whenever it seems convenient for him.  Of course, I won't leave Mark out of the blame, since he is always letting Randall use him as a puppet for chaos.  How I would love Mark so much more if only he could not be under Randall's thumb all the time.  Oh, and the preview for the next episode shows that Callie has turned into a man and is voiced by H. Jon Benjamin!  I think that might be really hilarious to see!

All Of Marks Dreams Come True...For Randall

Ugly Americans, S03E02

I have to say that this show is pretty disgusting most of the time, but I enjoy the unique concept of it.  You have to love Mark trying his best at the Department of Integration with all of these wacko monster and alien-like people.  What made this episode different from most was that he wasn't spending most of his time trying to fix someone else's problem, but rather was trying to stop Randall from achieving everything he wanted in life, including becoming Senior Social Service Coordinator and being the star of his own football team.  In other stories, Callie pimps out Leonard so she can raise enough money for a new car, and Twaine reveals his gambling problem.

Mark is by no means my favorite character on the show, but I appreciate his tolerant demeanor and ability to see good in all of the miscreants that has to reform so they are suitable members of society.  That being said, I hate that Randall takes no heed of what kind of consequence his actions have upon his roommate and best friend, and this time was no exception.  No wonder when Randall's newly equipped arm encouraged Twaine to make him a ringer for Mark's team and he got Mark's dream job that Mark started digressed into a possibly alcoholic and suicidal maniac who was desperate enough to steal football plays and join Grime's team.  I feel like when Mark was juiced up on steroids for a while he managed to get a little revenge on Randall, but not enough before he returned to his senses.  Mark needed to beat the crap out of him, really, but I guess even with his body pumped full of drugs, he's not going to get that far.  Pity.  At least Randall lost his arm in the end.

Speaking of his arm and the crappy work done on it, that Croatian guy is lucky he didn't get arrested for practicing medicine with no American-based license.  Whenever Mark can walk again, he should drive both legs into that guy's chest.  Can believe he tried to fix Mark's leg with a saw and some mustard.  Eww.  I shudder to think about the infection and the misshapen bone regrowth.

In Twaine's story, I'm reminded of how he's almost like a child in the way that he is so stupid about how the world works.  He has all this money in his desk and other places, which I wonder if it's all for bets or if it's just always there because he's the boss.  Either way, he lost all of it, I'm sure, while ignoring all the signs that he was going to lose from his bookie.  I loved that his bookie became a sort of therapist for him, saying that his need for friendship was causing him to gamble so much.  He even agreed to be Twaine's friend, but he was still going to take the money from him.  The bookie, unlike Twaine, was no dummy when it came to getting paid.  My favorite conversation between him and Twaine was after the bookie explained to him the horrible odds against the bet Twaine wanted to make with a million dollars:

[Bookie] As a bookie I'm compelled to take your bet.

[Twain] Is there a second half to that sentence? 

[Bookie] No, that's it.

The Callie story was good too.  I thought she might have had more of a problem getting Leonard to earn her enough money for her car, but she got it as fast as Leonard seemed to adapt to the prostitute lifestyle.  Her pimp walk was excellent and so was her general skills soliciting another person for profit.  I liked when she scared off the other pimp trying to recruit Leonard from her.  I was surprised that she ripped up his contract as soon as she got what she wanted and didn't milk him for all that he had.  She may be a conniving devil, but at least she's all business.

On a sort of random side note, I just have to saw how I love Doug.  He's kind of useless, but he is a cute koala man.  I liked when he said his dream was to fly, and Randall helped him achieve it by giving him a sky glider.  Although he is more or less a person, I still think he might be better suited for a zoo.

Very glad to see this show up for a third season, even though I have to cringe a lot when I watch it.  I like that they keep adding different and strange characters for Mark to add to his reform group, so it keeps things from being too predictable.  I think if you can get around the disgusting things, a lot of people would enjoy it. I know I do, and I hope it will make it to their fourth season next year too.