Schmidt Presents "Tinfinity"

New Girl, S02E18

Schmidt and Nick celebrated their tenth roommate anniversary with an elaborate party.  Nick wanted to be part of the planning, but Schmidt only pretended to give up some of his control.  Jess was determined to stop thinking about Nick's lips and frustrated about not knowing what he was thinking, so she latched onto a "real man" who was more open about his feelings.  Cece was disappointed at how casually her marriage proposal came about with Shivrang.

It's just like Schmidt to throw a party that most people would mistake as a celebration for lovers rather than friends.  It's sort of cute that he values his friendship with Nick so much that he would want to make a big deal out of each year that they've spent together.  I'm a little surprised that their friends were down with it, though--I'd be questioning why two grown men who aren't together need to throw a party that wasn't just about drinking and dancing (or hooking up with random girls).   But people seemed to have no problem doing things like taking pictures in the Nick and Schmidt photo cutouts (super weird, even if it was for a married couple).

I guess the best thing about the party was Nick's contribution of a purchased porta-potty.  I might understand someone who often holds outside parties wanting to have one on hand, but not someone like Nick who probably doesn't even have a place to put that after the party is over with.  If it were of good quality, I guess he could rent it out to other people, but it was disgusting to look at from the outside--I couldn't imagine even washing my hands in there.  It's so like Nick to buy the one that was meant for the garbage and be so proud of it that he was trying to bully people into using it.  I really like when he was trying to get Sanders to use it and gave him the ultimatum of using it or leaving the party.  Sanders left without a second thought.  You would think people literally running away from his porta-potty would give him a sign that he made a really dumb and filthy purchase.

I liked that Jess is so obsessed with Nick's lips, but would rather run from that problem than do something about it (like kiss Nick some more to get it out of her system).  Her solution was to flirt aggressively with Jax (which might have been partially because she wanted to screw with Winston a bit), who seemed to be exactly what she wanted--a man who could tell her straight up if he liked her or not.  It was interesting both that Jax turned out to be exactly what she didn't want, and that Nick was acting a little jealous of Jax.  Although Jess didn't get to kiss someone who could erase her memory of Nick, Jax turned out to be a significant guy in the scheme of things.  He proved that Jess probably does like Nick's "grumpy mystery" better than a guy who declares that he is going to marry and put a baby in her in less than a few days or knowing her.  I liked when Nick, trying to hide that he didn't like Jess with Jax, asked her if she truly wanted a guy who was open like that.  I liked that moment as much as I liked when he was staring at Jess and Jax at the bar with concern.  Jess didn't get the cure she needed to stop thinking about Nick's lips, so she ran off in the night after being offered a bottle he had drank from.  It'd be nice if all the guys she tries to get involved with put her right back where she started with Nick.

Before Jess met Jax, she met some random guys and had a good line with the second one we saw:

[Guy #2] Microchips be gettin' smaller.  They be like blueberry size.  So you could put 'em in your cereal, girl.

[Jess] I don't get your thing.

 No wonder she ran to the first "normal" guy that she ran into after that.  What in the world was that guy talking about?

I've decided that I like Shivrang, even though he kept using the expression "do this thing" to refer to getting married.  The first time he said it I felt like it was such a passive way to refer to marriage, but then again, they are having an arranged marriage.  I don't mind that, but it would be nice if they made it seem less like going to get a mole removed and more about joining their lives together.  Anyway, when he got on the stage and proposed to Cece with all of the toast sequence stuff going on (can't believe that Schmidt wanted that romantic display going on during his speech), I thought that was really sweet.  He asked her again if she wanted to "do this thing," but by then it sounded just right and less mechinical.  I'm glad that things worked out for Cece, but I am a little sad that Schmidt had to see that at his "Tinfinity" event.  Shivrang stole his moment in two senses--he ruined his big speech and he ruined his chance to propose to Cece in a big flashy way.  You can't blame Shivrang for that, though.  I'm a little in the middle right now whether I want Shivrang to suceed or if I want Schmidt to make a comeback. Schmidt's heart is in the right place, but he can't get it together.  Shivrang may not be beating Cece over the head with the romance stick, but he's a good guy with no drama.  Can''t be mad at her for going either way.

This was a good episode. Somehow the party became more about Nick taking a stand with a gross porta-potty he bought than having a good time.  Jess tried to run away from Nick's lips to another, but found that a guy who is too open is just as bad as a guy who is a little closed up like Nick.  Cece was sort of swept off her feet when Shivrang redid his proposal to her, and the slightly odd friendship anniversary party turned to an engagement party of some sorts.  I don't know if Cece will really go ahead and walk down the aisle for Shivrang, but it's just as likely that she will as it is that Schmidt will win her back somehow.

Pit People; Saved the Best For Last

How I Met Your Mother, S08E11-E12

In this double episode,  the first half was about Ted's obsession with his old professor who said he would never be an architect.  His friends went with him to their old school so Ted could confront the man, and Lily and Marshall ran into an old friend who they believed was obsessed with them.  Barney was also jinxed and couldn't speak.  In the second half, Ted was torn about keeping his promise to Barney to not tell anyone about his plan to propose to Patrice.  Marshall and Lily also found it hard to have a night away from Marvin.

The first story was sort of funny.  I liked the idea of "pit guy."  They always make up some kind of term on this show, but lately I haven't loved any of them.  The idea that everyone has someone that they would throw into a pit because they hate them so much is interesting.  I felt bad, though, when Ted had to deal with his pit guy, Professor Vinick.  That guy was just awful.  Ted never got the satisfaction of showing the man he was wrong about Ted, and in fact, he got the last word in.  It's Ted's fault for not coming to the realization faster that he didn't need Vinick to validate his self-worth as a architect, but it still sucks for him.  The only thing I really liked about Ted's pit guy was Ted's fantasy about getting his revenge.  Ted threw a cigarette in front of him, setting ablaze a trail of fire that caused Vinick to burst into flames.  The professor quickly turned into ash.  That, plus Ted's maniacal laughter afterwards, was my favorite part of the story.

I didn't really like Robin's pit guy situation.  It was all kinds of wrong for her to try and fire Patrice for personal reasons.  I don't know if she could sue her for wrongful termination, but it was definitely going to make me hate Robin more if she didn't see the light in the end.  I did like her yelling at Patrice about the basket she bought for the lotions, but other than that I was just waiting to see if Robin would really be so petty to fire a sweet girl out of jealousy.

My second favorite thing about the first story was Daryl, played aptly by Seth Green.  Seth Green has always been a little creepy (also type of person that gets under your skin) to me, so he was really good playing someone who seemed to be unable to forget Lily and Marshall.  I loved when in the past Lily and Marshall tried to avoid him and he magically appeared in front of them.  And it was sort of funny that he later took the two to his suspicious and darkly-lit basement and Marshal and Lily thought they were going to die.  However, I knew early on that Daryl was most likely to give them a check.  I just hoped that he wouldn't tear it up.  That could have been money for Marvin's education.  What a shame.

I didn't think much of Barney's jinx til the very end where it became sort of relevant.  He got Ted to break the jinx by showing him a ring.  I actually believed that he was truly going to propose to Patrice.  I also knew that Ted wouldn't be able to keep his promise to Barney.  Telling Ted something about his friends that the others don't know is like tweeting it or putting it on Facebook.

In the second story, I was surprised that Marshall was trying to get Ted to give Robin another go.  I hope that was his real feelings and not because he was trying to win that bet he and Lily have.  However, as much as it looked like Ted was going to be selfish and go down the same old road again with Robin, I knew there was no way he could be that stupid.  I was really relieved when he told Robin the truth and took Robin to the building where the proposal would happen.  It's been a while since I've wanted to pat Ted on the back for a good job.  Robin and Ted is so eight years ago!  Haha.

No question about it, I was quite impressed with Barney.  I have really wondered why he has been so calm lately--it's been because he has been planning all this time to win Robin back!  And because it's Barney, who is the master of convoluted plans, you don't question how he was able to pull it off.  I absolutely loved that he named the last "play" of his book "The Robin," which detailed the steps he took to win Robin back after helping Robin break up with her last guy.  No man who didn't love her would go through so much trouble.  I mean, he pretended to be dating her worst enemy (who is really her biggest fan for playing the part for Barbin so well) and ignored all of her come-ons.  I loved this proposal more than the one for Quinn.  Hers was very magical, but Robin's was very heartfelt.   If Robin didn't say yes, then she might as well have fallen off that damn building.  Haha.  But seriously, it was very sweet and I feel like I need to watch it again.  I liked watching all of Barney's plan explained.

As for Marshall and Lily, they are new parents--nothing surprising about them missing Marvin.  I did think Lily's dad made it worse.  He was just too easy-going about them being gone that it made it seem like they weren't needed.  Of course, they would start to miss him and be unable to enjoy their night alone.

Good episodes.  The first story was definitely funnier because of all the "pit guy" business, but the second one was much more significant because Barbin became official with Barney's proposal.  I can't say that I'm going to miss that playbook of his.  I'm just very impressed that the last play was his very best one (and the only one I liked).  For that, it sort of makes his collection of sleazing on girls worthwhile.  Robin has to be pretty special to be deemed the last and only remaining page.

Fart Attack And Proposal

Parks and Recreation, S05E05

Jerry had a heart attack, and Leslie got together a garage sale and auction to raise some money for his bills.  She got a little too enthusiastic about the fundraising after learning that Ben was thinking about starting a new campaign project in Florida.  Ron and Andy joined Diane and her kids for trick-or-treating, but things went badly when Diane had to leave them alone with Ron.

I like how they downplayed Jerry's heart attack with him farting so much you wondered as Tom had said if Jerry had eaten farts for lunch.  I liked how Tom was frustrated that the doctor refused to label Jerry's condition as a "fart attack."  It was also nice to see everyone wanting to help Jerry instead of just making fun of him as they usually do (I mean, he's sort of the Charlie Brown of the group, but he's a sweet man).  

Jerry's hospitalization also worked to expose Leslie's insecurity about her future with Ben when she saw that Jerry's plans for the future would no longer be able to go as he planned with his medical bills and possible further health complications.  I love how Leslie tries to deal with her own problems by trying to fix someone else's problem.  Her desperation to fix everything (which I suppose in her mind would have made things magically better with Ben) even led her to try and sell Ann at the auction.  I really loved that part because although two attractive guys bid on her, one really creepy guy with a tank top outbid the others and had unpleasant ideas on how they'd spend their date.

I was really starting to feel so bad for Leslie, especially since she was trying to live through Jerry of all people, until Ben suddenly showed up and proposed!  I did not see that coming!  They totally surprised and delighted me.  It was so sweet and I couldn't be happier to know that they are engaged now.  I don't know if that means he won't take the job in Florida, but I at least know that Leslie will probably shift her focus to planning the most ridiculous wedding ever.  She'll probably spend the most time on figuring out a cake (or I think a sweets bar would really suit her) that has enough sugar to put someone in a coma.  I'm so excited to see their wedding (if we get to see it--I'd be so disappointed if not)!

Ron's story was a little sad too because he just isn't good with kids at all (although Andy is like a huge kid, so he sort of has experience with them).  I was worried that he was going to cast aside Diane for a moment there.  I'm not ready to see Lucy Lawless leave just yet.  And somehow she looks pretty damn good in a ridiculous princess outfit.  Haha.  But I kept wondering what the hell Ron was dressed as?  Was he trying to be one of the dwarfs from Snow White?

One of my favorite things about that story was at the very end when Ron retook the girls for trick-or-treating about a week later.  He just asked people to get something sweet from their house and give it to the girls and then slipped them some money for their trouble.  That's pretty damn sweet.  And even though they were getting things like cookie dough, I'm sure it made their day.

There were also a couple of good lines from this story.  Andy supplied one of them:

[Andy] 7:34 p.m. Man dressed as nerd. Lady dressed as crazy witch.

[Man] Neither of us is in costume.

Ron's best line was when one of the girls told him she needed to use the bathroom and he replied:

I have no idea what to do about that.

Donna also had a good line from when she was attending the garage sale.  An annoyed Twitter follower complained about her tweets on the movie.  She told him to unfollow her if he didn't like what she was saying (why do people on Twitter complain so much about tweets they chose to read by their own will??) and had this to say when he wondered what she was doing on her phone:

I'm live tweeting this dumbass conversation.

I would love to do that to someone if I had the skills to type that fast on my phone.  Because she didn't even make eye contact with that moron.

Great episode.  A lot of good things happened (one that I didn't mention being Tom's possible new business venture).  The best, of course, is that Ben and Leslie will one day be married!  Yes!  I couldn't bear to see them split apart by his job or her job--they just have to make it work somehow.  I hope now we get to see them actually together a little bit more from now on.  I liked their phone conversations but I miss their face-to-face interactions.  Can't wait for more of their lovey-dovey scenes!

Tedtoria--Not So Much. Barbin--Knew It All Along

How I Met Your Mother, S07E23-24

Barney and Marshall struggled to get back to New York for the birth, while Ted and Robin tried to keep Lily calm with stories.  Marshall just managed to get there in time to see his son, Marvin be born. A week later, Ted decided to contact Victoria and found out she wanted to run away with him on her wedding day.  Robin continued to fail to take a decent family picture for Lily and Marsh to use for their announcement cards.  Barney got held up in the airport security when he refused to reveal the trick inside of a magic box.

Since the finale was an hour long, it had a lot more opportunities for funny moments.  I think it was really funny how Ted had a huge picture of himself in the labor announcement email that he sent against Lily's wishes.  It should be more pathetic that he's living his life through Lily and Marshall, but it just reminds me of how ridiculously close Ted is to his friends.  It's really hard for him to see themselves as separate people.

My favorite story that Ted and Robin told Lily about was the one about Marshall's cursed pants.  He found a note in the pocket written in Chinese that sent him to some interesting shop in Chinatown.  Despite that the owner went into the back where it was glowing bright green as if there was magic afoot, it was only a ticket for dry cleaning.  Of course, it would be.  This is pretty much how my second favorite story, the mysterious door, ended.  I would love to do that to one of my friends, but you would have to trust that they would be so cautious they wouldn't go into the broom closet until the very last second. 

I also liked how younger Lily made it seem like her dad was a stranger and got security to get rid of him.  Then in the present as he was freaking her out, she simply called for security and they dragged him out of the room in seconds.  Man, I would like to go to a hospital where I could just remove people like that (or any place, really).

It was cute how they all dressed as John Bender because they didn't coordinate well for their group Breakfast Club costumes.  The idea of each of them dressing as one of the characters is interesting.  They have exactly enough people and all the right genders.  Lily could be Claire, Robin could be Allison, Marshall could be Andrew, Ted could be Brian, and Barney could be Bender (although, I think Neil Patrick Harris resembles Brian more).  I'd just love to see that.

What I didn't love was Robin coaching Ted on who he should have ended up with.  She was quite right that he kept betting on the wrong horses for love (thus, why I'm fed up with him after these years), but I can't believe that she thought the best thing for him to do was re-explore Victoria, a woman who was supposed to be engaged.  I really liked Victoria and I thought she and Ted made a good couple, but it just didn't feel right for her to suddenly come back and want to run away with Ted.  To me it sounded like she just wanted a quick out and was scared.  If she really wanted to be with Ted, why not just tell her fiance her feelings in person instead of telling him with an empty altar.  I was really happy that Ted was going to take her back to the church until he started remembering all the good times.  I wanted to choke him when he passed the church.  Really?  You're going to go for Tedtoria??  That was the last thing I expected!  I can't help but to think that the start of the next season will show Ted's actions blowing up in his face.

What I did expect was that Barney's mystery box was somehow a proposal ploy.  I don't know why I knew, but he was being overly secretive about it and purposely ruining their getaway.  Any man that can hug his girlfriend upon seeing that she had remodeled his bachelor lair into "Tinkerbell's vagina" has to love a girl deeply enough that he wouldn't actually try to ditch her for some magician's convention instead.  I know it's TV, but Barney would have definitely gotten shot before he had one chance to explain himself in the airport.  But I'm glad it was dragged out so we could see his elaborate trick where a ring appeared on top of a growing flower.  That was amazing!  It was a really wonderful proposal.

But I knew Barney was meant for Robin, the second he mentioned this was their last chance to go off together.  That connection between them has always made me think the woman he was marrying in those random previews of the future was Robin.  I never doubted it for a second, even when both of them started dating others.  I just knew they would find a way.  I still think Robin is a jerk for abandoning Barney for Kevin and then tossing him away too, though.  After breaking his heart like that, I really wonder what Robin did to win Barney back (especially when he already had Quinn).

This was a pretty good ending to this season and had one surprise that I didn't see coming.  I just really can't be happy that Ted is simply recycling his relationships (that's how he got in trouble with Robin), but maybe Victoria will finally lead him to the girl he's supposed to be with.  I know the series is supposed to be about the events that led up to Ted meeting the girl of his dreams, but I can't imagine being less enthused about who his true love is if I were his daughter and son listening to the story in the future.  It's a shame that Barney made such an inventive proposal on a girl that he won't end up with in the long-run, but I feel a little proud that Barney is transforming into a man who can at least commit enough to want to be engaged to someone.  Robin is going  need some transforming of her own and that will be something I look forward to in the next season.  Not looking forward to Ted wasting his time with Victoria.  Or Marvin (Waitforit--are you kidding me with that middle name?) turning Marshall and Lily into boring parents.  Hopefully, they won't do any of those things next season and I'll have a reason to want it to come back in the fall.

Google Earth Map Wedding

Big Bang Theory, S05E24

Before Howard launched into space he recalled his impromptu wedding with Bernadette.  She wanted to get married before he went to space, and the whole gang accompanied them to city hall.  They weren't able to get married there due to an overly long line, so Raj came up with an alternative venue.  All of their friends got ordained as ministers and married them on top of a roof so that the Google satellite traveling over their town would be able to capture their wedding on Google Earth maps.

I'm glad we got to see Howard and Bernadette married after all.  It gave them a chance to have their nuptials in an unconventional way.  Even if they had been able to do it at city hall, they still would have managed to do it in an abnormal way, with Amy there in full maid-of-honor garb.  She looked positively insane.  But I'm sure she would have been crazier if they had refused to let her wear it.  The wedding definitely meant much more to her than it did to Howard and Bernadette.

One thing that made me want to punch the TV was Sheldon constantly bringing up Leonard's proposal.  It's not unlike him, but it didn't mean that I didn't want to plug his big mouth with a cork.  It was mostly annoying because it allowed attention to be paid to Leonard and Penny's relationship, which was hardly important when Howard and Bernadette were supposed to be the focus.  I was just happy that their squabbles didn't turn into a reexamination of whether they should really get engaged.  No thanks to Sheldon's lack of tact.

Besides that little thing, I think their ceremony on the roof was so cute.  They all got to dress up and everyone got ordained so that they all could officiate their marriage.  Wow.  That's amazing that Howard and Bernadette have such a good friends to do something like that.  Their speeches weren't that impressive overall, but I liked that Bernadette snapped at Sheldon for trying to sneak in some Klingon.  I like how aggressive she is.  It'd be interesting if Sheldon and Bernadette spent a day together.  I'm sure she'd either kill him before the day was done or have him a little more straightened out for the better.  I also thought it was amusing that Sheldon said he didn't understand the need to seek companionship because he found himself so interesting others were unnecessary.  That sums up his disinterest in the opposite sex (or anyone who is not himself).

Another cute moment was when everyone was holding hands with each other as they watched Howard launch into space on TV.  I was most surprised that Sheldon grabbed Amy's hand.  Wow.  How wonderful that Howard's historical moment to enter space brought all of them closer, if not just for a second.  Now I'm thinking that since Raj and Bernadette were bonding over their love of Howard that Raj might act as a substitute husband for Bernadette while Howard is gone.  That would be hilarious.

Good finale.  It wasn't too exciting, nor too boring and it left the viewers with not just some laughs to hold them over til the fall, but also some sweet moments as well.  I'm not particularly excited to see what's next for the gang, but at least I'm sure that I will continue to watch.  I want to see how far Amy can get with Sheldon, and I'm still waiting for the day they will find a suitable match for Raj.   Maybe the day will come in 2013.

How To Make Sheldon Fall In Love

Big Bang Theory, S05E23

Howard was delighted to find out his mission to space had been cancelled, but he panicked later when they told him it had been rescheduled for an earlier date that conflicted with his wedding.  He hoped that Bernadette's father would bully him out of going to space, but he instead encouraged him and made it seem that his respect of Howard was dependent upon him becoming an astronaut.  Amy started using very effective techniques to get Sheldon to love her by making him incredibly happy.  Leonard mistakenly asked Penny to marry him during sex, ruining the good place their relationship was in.

It was funny to see how happy Howard was to not go to space.  I thought he was really excited about going, so it came as a surprise to me.  What was even funnier was that he continued to brag to his friends that he was an astronaut even when he thought he wasn't going to go to space.  I liked when Leonard and Raj told him that they were relieved he wasn't going to space, considering that he would be on a Russian-made rocket.  Raj' using the Russians' inability to capture Rocky and Bullwinkle to discredit their intelligence was great.  Nice cultural reference, Raj.

I found it weird that Howard couldn't admit to his fiancee or his friends that he was terrified of going to space, but he could admit it to his scary father-in-law-to-be.  Bernadette would have surely understood.  His friends would have surely made fun of him, but they would have encouraged him to go where none of them may go.  Then again, sometimes it's easier to tell some truths to people you hardly know than those who know you the best and can hurt your feelings with their reactions.

The best thing in the episode hands down was Amy's experiment to make Sheldon like her better.  The date she set up with Mario theme music, strawberry Quik, and spaghetti is scarily one that I would thoroughly enjoy myself!  Who knew that I had so much in common with Sheldon?  It was just a perfect scene of her pleasing Sheldon and him quickly realizing that Amy was indeed winning his heart as she predicted she would.  You can see that wonderful video below:

It was a bit adorable how Sheldon was bitching to Leonard how it was just awful that Amy was making him so happy, and he had started thinking about Amy during inappropriate times.  I also enjoyed them mentioning this book on women Leonard had given Sheldon, which had given him nightmares.  I would love to see his reactions as he read said book.  Amy was pretty cute too when she was dressed in Star Trek gear, examining Sheldon as if she were a doctor.  Sheldon claimed he was in hell, but he looked like he was having fun (probably not as much as Amy who was probably thrilled at having his full attention for once).

Leonard and Penny, on the other hand, were just annoying to watch.  I had just wished that Leonard's proposal had convinced her to break up with him, so I wouldn't have to see them as a couple again.  There's nothing too interesting about their off-and-on relationship for the most part.

This episode definitely goes down in one of my favorites for this show.  I can't wait to see what Amy does next to keep Sheldon thinking about her.  I wonder if Sheldon will be crazy enough to try to stop her "experiment," so that he can go back to seeming indifferent to his girlfriend?  I love that they are becoming closer with Amy making him happier, and yet Sheldon makes it seem like he's becoming more miserable.  Amy really is the best girlfriend I could imagine Sheldon with ever.

Jess And Nick Are Morons, But They Belong Together

New Girl, S01E23

Jess tried to get over her breakup with Russell.  She seemed to be on the path to recovery until Nick made her think that under different circumstances, dating a lover from the past could be promising.  She ended up sleeping with Paul, which eventually led her to helping him propose to his girlfriend Jen.  Nick decided to move in with Caroline, even though he warned himself not to go down that path with her again in a DVD.  Winston got an earring after a wild night with his boss and refused to admit that it looked ridiculous.  Schmidt and Cece tried to find a way to interact with each other without turning Schmidt on since his penis was still broken.

I didn't have much time to feel bad about Jess moping about Russel because her friends' reaction to her listening to a record of "River" over and over were really funny.  The champion of complaints about her music polluting the apartment was Winston by far:

I liked it when you played it for the first time at 10 o'clock last night. I liked it a little bit less at 2 a.m., and now I'm kind of hoping that the sun comes up, thaws that river, and that woman drowns.

Sometimes Winston is the only one who knows just what to say (even though that didn't get her to stop the record).

When Jess was making a booty call after Schmidt got too distracted by Cece to make sure Jess didn't backslide, I had a feeling it wouldn't be Russell.  I was a little happy to see Paul show up again, as he is the boy version of Jess, but greatly disappointed to find out that he was in already in a happy relationship.  I thought it would be impossible for Jess to get out of that situation without looking like a huge whore or destroying what Jen and Paul had, but she managed to help him propose.  Wow.  That's amazing.  I mean, she even said the actual propose words for him and pushed him down to one knee.  I guess she really is the female version of Paul because Jess basically proposed to Jen herself.  That has to be love when you can have the girl your man cheated with propose to you and you agree with little hesitation.

What isn't love is whatever Caroline and Nick are doing.  I was really counting on Past Nick to knock some sense into him, but all it did was make him convinced that moving in with Caroline would be a better decision than the lack of progress he's made by being apart from her.  Damnit, Nick.  Caroline is probably part of the reason you can't move on because you haven't burned her from your life yet.  He's such a moron!  Jess had this pretty sweet speech to him about not settling and how she would handle the voice in his head that discourages him, and he basically barfed in her face with the news he was moving in with Caroline.  I wanted to jump through the TV and choke him!  He ruined the moment!  This could have been their turning point that let Nick see that Jess is the girl for him.

Jess and Nick being morons was my main focus in this episode.  The only good thing about Cece and Schmidt's story is that Schmidt's penis is still out of service, so we don't have to hear his disgusting stories about how he has screwed Cece.  Cece's grandmother was a cute little lady, though.  Besides that, I didn't care what they were doing.  As far as Winston was concerned, he was the only good side dish to Jess and Nick dancing off to "Bad Decision Land."  My favorite joke at the expense of Winston's increasingly bad earring (it started off as a stud and ended with a flamboyant feather type) was one of Nick's:

Oh, and Mr. T called. He wants to punch you because that earring looks stupid.

For being the voice of reason most of the time, it's incredible that he couldn't see how gaudy his piercing looked.

This was kind of an exciting episode to see how the stupid actions of Nick and Jess would pan out.  It's unfortunate that Jess' revelation of moving forward was too late to influence Nick's decision to move out.  I'm unhappy that he couldn't listen to reason, but I know that somehow Jess and/or the others will find a way to help Nick before he reverts back to the sad sack we had to see in the DVD.  As long as something goes horribly wrong (as it often does) for Nick while he's living under one roof with Caroline, there's still hope that he will come to his senses and start seeing Jess as his destined match.  If Nick ends up happy shacking up with Caroline in the next episode, however, someone needs to shoot him.

Worst Episode Ever. April Fools!

Ugly Americans, S02E17

Mark prepared to propose a proposal to Callie on April Fools' Day, but the DOI was under lock down due to Mark's predecessor's escape from jail.  Barney had swore murderous revenge on all of them, so they were taking precautions by escaping to a cabin out of town.  Mark found it hard to believe that their emergency was real and resisted sharing their panic until he started to see his friends dead in the woods.  He also learned that Callie used to date Barney and was likely still in love with him.  When Mark, Grimes, and Callie were captured by the madman, they were forced to participate in a twisted dating game show, where Barney seemed to have won Callie's heart again.  Mark fell into a jealous rage and tried to kill the man, but his friends stopped him by letting him know it was an elaborate prank after all.  While all of this was going on Leonard and Randall tried to get back to town to cash a lottery ticket.  They managed to escape from some rapist, hillbilly pig people, but when they tried to redeem the ticket, the clerk refused to accept it because it was ripped in half.

I thought it was kind of half-assed of Mark to want to ask Callie to be engaged to be engaged.  For someone who always pretends to be so responsible, it just sounds like a shallow commitment to trick someone into thinking they were actually serious.  I did like that when he brought up doing it that Randall did seem a little worried that Mark would move out of the apartment one day.  But with them one stage below engaged, I doubt that Randall has to worry about that any time soon.  Even though I thought his proposal was pointless, I still thought Callie would appreciate the gesture, but she barely paid attention to him when he asked her in Randall's van.  I wonder if they weren't all trying to trick Mark would she have been a little more happy about it.

Once Mark made it known that he didn't care for pranks and suspected that the whole DOI emergency was a ruse, I knew that no matter what happened that he was going to be right.  I also assumed that Callie would propose to him in the end since she was a little too disinterested in Mark and his ring in the car.  I feel like she would be the tiniest bit more concerned that her boyfriend was making such a grand (or not) gesture of their love.  However, I enjoyed watching the horror movie-like setting unfold.  It was an interesting idea that Callie's ex was a much better match for her than Mark, and I liked how he was doubting that they belonged together at all (since he was the exact opposite of Barney).  It was also nice to see Mark get mad and stabby.  He rarely lets his temper get the best of him, and it's even rarer that he would resort to violence to solve a problem.  He must really love Callie to get that upset.

I know that they were pranking Mark, but did Eric really use to be a human?  I mean, obviously the guy they paid to play Barney hadn't really worked at the DOI in the past, but I could believe that ridiculous story that someone killed Eric and he was rebuilt as a robot.  He's not made out of anything organic, so someone had to put him together.  So for what purpose was he built?  I usually don't pay attention to his character at all, but that scene where they explained his origins made me curious about his actual story.  But who knows if they will ever address that.  It's only important to people as random as me, I guess.

I actually thought that Leonard's winning lottery ticket was an April Fools' joke too, but it was real after all.  I'm not surprised that Randall became a part of it and tried to swindle him out of the ticket.  What was an interesting turn of events was when those hillbilly pigs captured them.  Never saw that coming.  Glad we didn't have to see too much gross stuff in that department.  I could just laugh at their horrible predicament without having to witness the creepy, sexual things they were exposed to.  Sucked that after all that mess, the clerk refused to honor the ticket.  He made things worse by saying that if Leonard had taped the ticket together first, he might not have noticed it was torn and accepted it.  Oh, well.  Leonard would have surely been a bastard as a millionaire.  He's not the most grounded person to begin with.

For some reason, this episode made me feel like it was a season finale.  That could be possible since they just started the season where they left off before.  I don't think that there's anything really special about Mark and Callie's engagement to engagement, but maybe for them that's a huge step (since I get the feeling that Callie was pretty serious about the reason she was with Mark didn't amount to much more than getting used to him being around).  I didn't have a lot of laughs in this story, but I still liked that everyone worked together to fool Mark.  Despite it being a predictable development, I enjoyed the ride to the obvious conclusion.

A Schmidt Baby Makes Me Want To Gag

New Girl, S01E21

Cece had to wait in fear and repulsion to see if she was pregnant with Schmidt's child.  Jess babysat Sarah, Russel's daughter, who was in love with Nick.  Nick found out that his newest girlfriend was younger than he thought.  Winston had to take care of his boss who was intimidated by another talk host.

The thing I was worried about slightly less than Cece being pregnant was that Sarah would be a huge brat and not get along well with Jess.  The girl was definitely peculiar with the eagerness that she wanted to know about sexual activities, but she did seem to like Jess and trust her (until she revealed her big secret).  Usually a kid on a show that has mostly adults is annoying, but I think that Sarah was odd enough that she fit in with Jess and company.  Her best line of all was when she first met Nick and noticed his eyes:

Your eyes are so brown.  They look like poop.

Nick, of course, wasn't even able to shake off a young girl's assessment of himself and consulted his friends whether this was true.  They confirmed that he indeed had a poop-like hue eye color.  Another "great" quality about Nick.

Nick seemed like he may have gotten to the end of his college girl phase after learning that his last girlfriend was 18 and knew Sarah.  She had also had Jess as her substitute teacher once upon a time.  If this doesn't convince him to go back to dating girls his own age, I don't know what else it will take.  You would think dating that girl with the circle scarf would have taught him already.

The thing that I was mostly worried about in this episode was that Cece would have to give birth to a little Schmidt.  Even if I could imagine that the child would be nothing like the father, I just was grossed out by how Schmidt was handling the situation.  His comments about the sex he and Cece have were bad enough, but to have him hanging all over her while talking about how big her breasts were going to get made me reach for the puke bag again.  It's amazing how much I want to push him out of a window, even though he is a sweet and charming guy.  It's just that when he talks about sex he gives us way more information than we want to know.  Thankfully, Cece got her period.  I almost applauded that moment.

I didn't expect Schmidt to try to propose to her, though.  I guess now he is the one who thinks they should get serious and Cece is the one who thinks their relationship should remain strictly physical.  It's funny how a baby scare could flip it like that.  Or at least that's what it looks like.  I don't blame Cece, nor do I think that Schmidt was wrong for thinking that a pregnancy would be the best time for him to strike while the iron was hot.  So far they haven't shown much in common beyond the sex anyhow.  Maybe if they get to a level where they connect on a nonsexual level, I might think that marriage wouldn't look too random for them.

The story about Winston wasn't that great.  It was just nice that Winston seemed to start a friendship with his boss.  He deserves a break when it comes to employment.

My favorite line in the episode was when Jess was talking to Nick before Sarah came:

Please put on some pants.  Everything you say sounds really creepy when you're not wearing pants.

And when did say stuff like her hair looked nice and something about the coffee, he did sound just as creepy as Jess declared.  I dunno why it was okay, though, for him to have pants or really high socks.  What, is he like an old man or something?  Ugh.

Another good line was when Schmidt was pretending to call another girl for the date he had planned for him and Cece.  He had really called Nick and for some reason Nick didn't pick up on what Schmidt was doing:

[Schmidt] You wearing something sexy?
[Nick] Button down and jeans, like always.
[Schmidt] Oh, those jeans sound sexy.
[Nick] Is everything all right?  You want to hang out more, Schmidt?
[Schmidt] You taking care of that toushie for me?

[Nick] I'm not doing like squats or anything.  I'm trying to eat less donuts.
[Schmidt] You still keeping it tight?

I couldn't believe how long it took before Nick was creeped out by what Schmidt was saying.  He was just talking with him almost as if everything Schmidt was saying was nothing unusual.  So awkward, but so wonderful to watch to see how far it could go.

I sensed a little that Jess was remembering a little bit of her attraction toward Nick, but her actions and words make it seem that she's committed to building on her relationship with Russel.  As long as Nick isn't dating some little girl, I can be cool with them not getting any closer any time soon.  However, I'd like the Cece and Schmidt train to take a little break soon--I cant't take another scare like Schmidt becoming a disgusting father as well.  Perhaps he would tone down his sexuality a bit once a baby came along, but since that's not guaranteed, I'm not willing to take the risk.  Schmidt is bad enough as he is now, and as we were told in another episode, he only has down--there is no up with Schmidt.

Nick's Weekend Getaway

Grimm, S01E16

Nick took off a weekend with Juliette so that he could propose in a romantic setting.  The house in the woods that they rented was near a house where a cat-like Wesen was keeping his bird Wessen girlfriend prisoner so he could steal a golden stone from her throat.  When Juliette and Nick can no longer turn a deaf ear to what has been going on next door, they get involved.  Nick not only took down some Wesen up to  no good, but with Rosalie's help, he also performed a mini surgery on a woman's neck without killing her.  When all of that terror was over, Nick thought it was still a good idea to pop the question, but his lack of honesty lately got him rejected.  Hank, on the other hand, was no longer being rejected by Adalind, and Renard had the two go out on a date.  It becomes no clearer as to why it's necessary to have Hank wrapped around her finger.

I sort of forgot that Nick intended to propose to Juliette already.  Their relationship has just not been that great.  So when he told Hank he was taking off to propose to her, I didn't care too much about it because I knew she would never agree.  The idea for them to leave Portland was mainly an excuse to play out the Wesen domestic violence story.  I mean, how could you care about Nick proposing when you don't really understand why they are together in the first place?  I feel like Hank and Adalind have more chemistry than Nick and Juliette and Hank's under a damn spell.

Speaking of Hank, he's went full out stalker in this episode.  It was a little scary because I wondered how far he would go to protect "his woman."  He did threaten a man who kissed her, but that was all according to Renard's plan (why are people bending backwards to help him??).  I just don't want to see Hank get locked up because he's found sitting outside of her apartment watching her with no non-creepy reason to explain it.

Something else that worries me about Adalind's spell--has it effected Wu?  I could have sworn I saw him eat a paperclip at work.  Maybe I was imagining things, but if that's true, what the hell has eating those cookies done to him?  We don't know yet, but so far he is acting normal (if that paperclip thing was just me).  Why not just tell us now, writers??  Why do you wait like you're adding suspense?  You're just adding fuel to my frustration.

Anyway, the main story was fairly good.  I didn't like seeing a scared and abused woman with her obsessive and violent husband (boyfriend?), but he eventually got what was coming to him, thanks to Nick sticking his nose into their business.  But it did make me uncomfortable, the way he kept force-feeding her, especially in that electric-chair-looking thing.  Before they said he was trying to get her to grow a deposit in her throat, I thought he was going to fatten her up and eat her or something (since he was a cat and she was bird).  It was a little less disturbing that he wanted to cut open her throat and take something out of it.  Seeing Nick do it (who I wouldn't trust to cut a turkey) was bad enough, but I can't imagine how violently Tim might have done it since he probably didn't care if Robin lived or died.

I like that Monroe and Rosalie are getting along so well.  They are definitely making goo goo eyes at each other, but Monroe isn't making any moves yet.  What is most interesting is that Monroe seemed a little hurt that Nick has started to use Rosalie for Wesen information just like him.  Almost as if Monroe has to be the only Wesen he can call for how-to advice in the creature world.  I would love to see this expanded upon in the future.  No one can replace Monroe (Nick would be lost without him), but Rosalie could certainly make him "jealous."  Then again, why fight over helping Nick?  You don't get any rewards (or concern about your well-being from him).

They brought up another "mystery" by showing that Rosalie's brother had several different passports in the shop.  Um, is that really important??  If the dead brother's past isn't relevant to things that are already going on, I'm going to be really pissed that they gave the audience one more thing to ponder.  Just stop it!  Finish your other mysteries and then start a new one.  

One thing that was more annoying than some random question I may not want the answer to was when Nick finally took down Tim and the stone broke into pieces.  Nick let out a classic cop-show line saying:

You know what they say, Tim--you got to break a few eggs to make an omelet.

Really, Nick?  Even if there was someone else around to hear you say that (besides Tim), why the hell would you say that hackneyed line? He lost a good bit of credit with me, surprising me that he had any left in the first place.  He actually made me put my hand to my face.  So lame!

Another complaint I have against Nick is that he could have Juliette as his fiancee easily if he'd stop lying!  When she gave him a perfect opportunity to come clean about the recent terrifying and eerie events, he just tried to smooth it over with telling her all that mess would just be done soon enough.  Um, that's not reassuring at all!  Thank God she decided to learn to use a gun because Nick is committed to leaving her ass in the dark.  And she's not about to marry someone who is so closed off to her.  Juliette's reasons for turning down Nick make think she is about the smartest person in this show.  Her reasoning was completely valid.  So much so that Nick couldn't even argue with her and left the room without a word.

I think this episode was all right, but all the extra things around the main story were in the way of it being a solidly good one.  I want to see more of Monroe and Rosalie (we only got a little taste), and I'd like to see why Nick even loves Juliette or they need to not bother with their relationship at all.  I'm interested to see what will happen to Hank the more he falls for Adalind as much as I want to see what residual effects that spell has for Wu.  And I'm begging the writers--please no more new questions.  Answer the old ones.

Good Ol' Predictable Cougar Town

Cougar Town, S03E01

 After much waiting (not for me because I watch enough shows that I don't really notice), Cougar Town returns to ABC.  I think it's relatively funny show, but not as funny as the creator's former show, Scrubs.  That show was great, and had such wonderful chemistry between the cast.  I get the same kind of vibe from Cougar Town, but it doesn't quite strike my funny bone as hard as its elder.  Anyway, I was mildly interested to see it back.

They start off the episode with the aspect that I love the most on the show: the gang's intense need to drink wine all the time.  Jules comes up with idea to make a wine glass neck strap so they don't have to hold wine glasses anymore.  But they decided that they enjoying holding the glasses, so instead of abandoning the straps, they just have two glasses: one for decoration and one for drinking.  Good God, these people are drunks!  But you have to respect how they keep taking "pounding grape" to a new crazy level.  I would only like to join them if it was time to sit around and drink wine like it was going out of style.

The main issue in the episode was that Jules was thought to be predictable by her friends.  I knew that once this was made clear, she would try to show her spontaneous side, but fool no one.  She tells Grayson that she wants them to be a couple that always surprises each other, but with a man who can compose a song about your daily routine to the point that he is singing about you throwing away a mouth piece, there will be few on Jules' end.  Unsurprisingly, she tells off some skater kids who are making noise while she and Grayson chat.  Later, her car is toilet paper "sharked," and she schemes to get back at them.

I thought that Jules would be wrong about the kids that attacked her (since it was a rather large group), and she would end up making an new enemy.  However, after she goes to the house of the "culprit," the police shows up, and she and the reduced gang have to scatter.  Just as Jules is about to get caught, it is revealed that the policeman is in fact Grayson.  How did Grayson get a cop car?  Laurie and Tom were in on it.  Grayson was the one who had sharked her car!  I was confused about why he had done so at first.  Was he just trying to give her a surprise?  Jules is pretty dumb, though.  She didn't notice that the fake address Grayson had given her was an empty house of her own listing.  Wow.  She must be one hell of a realtor.  I finally understood what Grayson's plan was when he proposed!  Whoa!  On a season prieimere?? I didn't see that coming at all!  I mean, I knew that one day he might, but to propose underneath a tp-ed tree?  I've never seen that before.  Besides that this was one of the most original proposals that I've seen on TV, Jules was unusually lip-locked at that time.  She found some words, but it was sweet that they had a moment without her talking so much that she kind of ruined it.

That was the sweet part of the episode, but let me talk about the funny parts.  The best of all was the now toddler Stan, aka the Devil Baby.  Ellie, the toughest character on there, tells him that he should apologize and Stan just casually says, "Doubt it."  I did not have high expectations for this kid, but he instantly got my adoration.  Ellie and Andy are pretty terrified of him and with good reason when he is known to be walking around with a hammer, destroying things in neighbors' yards.  We later see him with hammer in hand, up to no good.  Love it.  Stan also shows that he isn't playing around when Laurie dares to take off his mutant, killer rabbit picture off the fridge.  Upon seeing this he stops in his tracks and turns to stare at his parents with his demonic eyes without a word.  Wow!  Can we just have a whole episode about him??  So creepily cute!

I also enjoyed how the gang kept saying "This should be the gang," when one or more of the other members weren't present.  My favorite version of the gang was Ellie and her wine glass.  She reminds me of myself.  Haha.

The last funny part I want to mention is the green screen at Travis' college house.  I thought it was an insignificant little side story, but it turned out to be a more humorous device than it first appeared.  I loved when Andy and Bobby were using the green screen to pretend they were flying through the clouds.  The only thing was that they couldn't even see what they were doing.  Still, their child-like friendship has always been a point of hilarity for me.  I'm not surprised that Jules later uses it to fashion an overly dramatic re-proposal scene for she and Grayson.  It's nice that he's so whipped that he doesn't even question having to do that for her.

Grayson tells Jules that she's not boring because she's crazy.  I think what he meant to say is that she was predictably crazy.  You may not know what brand of crazy she will be, but you do know that if something goes wrong, she's not going to respond in the same way a normal person would.  I'm glad that we can still count on that with this new season of Cougar Town.  It may prove to be an interesting season after all.