Bitch Would Have Gotten A Quilt Up Her Ass

Parks and Recreation, S05E06

Leslie and Ben held an engagement party and tried to mend fences with Ben's hateful parents.  Chris was distraught after hearing the beautiful speech Ann gave at the party.  Tom had to prepare for a presentation for his new business to show to Ron.

I had a lot of good laughs from this episode, which I will discuss shortly.  First, I just gotta say how much I hated Ulani.  No question that Ben has horrible parents, but that little bitch was too rude for words.  Her ass wasn't even invited, yet Leslie welcomed her to the party with open arms.  She didn't have a sliver of gratitude and dared to question why she didn't have a square on the unity quilt.  Bitch, please!  Leslie is better than me because I would have handed her a big serving of attitude.  She had me boiling when she went on further to say that it was mean that Leslie hadn't made her a real square, when Leslie had graciously tried to squeeze her in there at the last moment.  That bitch ain't even family yet!  I don't care if she's carrying Ben's sibling in her belly--she needed to be slapped.  I'm so glad we will not see her again until the wedding, I hope.  She's one of my least favorite people that have popped up on this show.

Anyway, onto all of the great laughs I had.  My favorite part was after Ann gave her speech at the party and everyone pitched in to warn Ben:

[Ann] Ben, don’t you dare hurt her.
[Laughter]
[Ben] I won’t.[Andy] Don’t laugh.  She means it.
[Ben] Okay, I-I won’t.
[Ron] Seriously, son, don’t hurt her.
[Ben] Okay, I’m not planning on hurting her.
[Jerry] You better not be.
[Ben] I’m not!
[Donna] Hey, Ben, you best watch yourself.
[Ben] Why would any of you think I would hurt Leslie?

 I love when they all team up to show love for Leslie!  And anytime Ben can be made nervous, it's all the better.  I think Andy's addition was the best because you know it's no joke when he's being serious.  Such a great scene.

Chris was also being pretty funny in the episode.  I liked when he was hugging Leslie and Ben at the beginning because Ben's face was so uncomfortable at that time!  And Ben's expression was just as funny when Andy hugged them and Chris joined in a little later.  But Chris' best moments were when he was moping around at the party.  Rob Lowe is so good at making me sympathetic but also chuckling at the same time.  I liked his reaction when he reached the end of the tissues:

There’s no more tissue--everything ends.

With him crying over that, I wanted to hug him, while laughing into his shoulder.  Poor Chris and his overly emotional self.  He was funny, too, when eating shrimp:

[Chris] Wow, that’s amazing.[Ann]  See? There you go.[Chris]  This one’s not as good.

A grown man getting depressed over shrimp not being that good just tickles me.  It also reminds me of that great moment when Ron and Stephen Wyatt eyed each other when both approached the last piece of shrimp at the same time.  Loved it.

What I also loved concerning Ron was that he decided to give Tom a chance without even listening to his pitch.  Tom had proven himself by cutting his business ties with Jean-Ralphio and that was enough.  I just liked Ron's general contempt for J-R in the first place.  Tom couldn't have done more to impress him if he had cut his own lumber and built a table out of it.  Thanks to Ron, we'll get to see how "Rent-A-Swag" will fare as a business.  It couldn't be any worse than Entertainment 720 (which was a hilariously money-down-the-drain failure).

 This episode only could have been made better if Leslie had shoved Ulani's makeshift square down her throat the second time she dared complain about it.  Can't take such ridiculous bitches, but the PAR crew is so hilarious that her existence couldn't bring down the overall quality of the episode.  Ron didn't really say anything great in this episode, but he was great in the way he decided to take stake in Tom's future.  And perhaps there's a happy future for Chris soon.  I want to hope for that, but I also get a kick out of his overly dramatic misery as well.  Whether sad or happy, gotta love Chris!

Hello, Martin Channing!

2 Broke Girls, S02E01

Strangely, I was comforted to see this show back on, and I looked forward to the season premiere on Monday (especially because HIMYM wasn't too funny and I checked out a lukewarm premiere of Partners before).  It took me a moment to get used to all the dirty jokes crammed into a thirty minute show, but I was laughing a hell of a lot more watching Max and Caroline attend an estate auction for the Channing house.  They went because Caroline's father wanted Caroline to win an item back for herself.  It wasn't the best story I've ever seen, but after the rest of the crap I had watched on CBS that night, it was pretty entertaining in comparison.

First of all, we got to see Martin Channing's face for the first time.  What I loved most about that was that Max was charmed by him to the point that she was saying things like she would be Caroline's stepmother one day.  Although it's a little creepy for your friend to be hitting on your father, I just love Max in general, so I couldn't help but think that it would be actually kinda interesting if she did seriously go for Mr. Channing.  I hope that they will, despite Caroline being a little disillusioned by him, continue to visit him in prison together so I can see Max bat her eyes at him and promise to do whatever he asks of her.

It would have been nice if there really was money in that trophy that Max and Caroline spent 200 bucks getting back, but that would be a little too good for them.  I mean, the show is about them being broke, so it wouldn't be good if they suddenly had a bunch of money.  I would have said that it was a rip that they had to go to the auction in the first place if it wasn't for them meeting Hamish there.  His character (along with his ridiculous dog, Pickle) were the highlight of this episode for me.  I wish he could appear again because he was an unlikely and pleasant antagonist for the two.  The best line of the episode came from him and Max:

[Hamish] I'm a paddle bitch.
[Max] I'm a bitch bitch.

I was wondering in the first place who would want someone's trophy for their own (I mean, it has someone else's name inscribed on it) until Hamish said he was going to have his dog bathe in it.  Ridiculous.  But I loved Hamish.  Really made me appreciate this show and the random people that Caroline and Max meet.

This episode felt like it took away a bit of the stomachache I got from watching the shows the preceded it last night.  Sure, it wasn't brilliant or really inventive or anything, but it made me laugh a hell of a lot more than anything else.  So happy this show is still on the air--I think it'll be really useful to provide me with a little bit of the comedy that's missing for me on Monday!