Nick, The Old Man, And The Pool

New Girl, S02E07

Schmidt turned off the gas in order to motivate Jess to get a job, but she bombed an interview due to what she thought was just PMS.  Nick started to find inner peace when he met a stranger in the park who took him to a relaxation pool.  Schmidt was offered to have kinky sex with a coworker and also consulted with Cece about whether she was a nice girl.  Winston felt like he was having sympathy PMS from Jess.

I didn't agree with Schmidt's methods of motivating Jess, but I guess it's not out of his character to be a jerk (in fact, we expect it out of him).  However, I was more inclined to agree with Schmidt that she needed to get a job when she was playing the period card as excuse why she couldn't get hired.  I don't believe women should so easily use things like PMS to excuse why they're acting amiss.  It's a difficult card to play and should only be used when extremely appropriate and Jess was basically trying to hide her depression and lowered self-value (and lashing out at her roommates unjustly).  I'm glad that Nick opened her eyes to this fact and after her pretty funny failure of an interview (where she was sobbing over a cat in a cup that had died), he encouraged her to try again.  The "new" Nick was really the one to credit in her being employed again.

The best thing about this episode was no question Nick meeting an old man in the park and having this sort of deep conversation with him while the man said nothing.  Simply writing down what Nick said doesn't even begin to do justice to how hilarious this scene was, so I included a clip:

It was almost like he had an imaginary friend he was talking with because the old man didn't say a word to him until much, much later (and then nothing after that again).  Nick really brought his A game to this story when the rest weren't really doing anything for me comedy-wise.  I also loved when Nick and his new best friend went to the pool and he gave him this really awkward massage in the water or something.  That was really good.  I'm not sure why Nick thought that after only one experience in the pool he was capable of performing that technique on Jess (which was even more awkward), but I loved it because it was a disaster.  Nick got another chance to perform the massage on Winston and it was no more successful or less clumsy.  I'm glad they ended the episode with them all at the pool again because it was the heart of the episode for me.

It was a little weird that Winston thought he was having PMS too, but I wish it hadn't been because he missed Shelby.  I guess technically he should be distraught, but from my perspective I couldn't imagine thinking about her crazy ass again.  Like, the relationship needed to be gone.  But I guess being single just doesn't sit well with Winston, regardless of how appropriate his breakup was.

The only thing I can say about Schmidt's story was how proud I was that Cece didn't just slip back into the twisted world of Schmidt again.  They will always have this connection, but I just think she could do better than him.  Also, I just don't want to hear them being nasty again because it's just a little too much to stomach.  However, it does let me know that Cece probably isn't going to be with Robby much longer if she can kiss Schmidt again for even a second.  She's gonna be tempted because whether she thinks so or not, she's not a nice girl.

I'm not sure if I'm too excited about Jess' new job.  I hope that she does have some kind of interesting tales from it or meets someone from having it.  Otherwise, it just prevents her from moping around the house from now on.  Nick, as usual, is continuing on his crazy journey to bettering himself that I am loving intensely.  Just when I think he can't be any weirder, he finds a new outlet and I'm rolling.  Can't imagine what else Nick has in store for this show.

The Truth Packs A Punch

New Girl, S02E06

Jess learned more about Sam and wanted to have a real relationship with him once she developed feelings for him.  Winston hoped that dressing up sexy for Halloween would put the spark back between him and Shelby.  Schmidt tried to create a wedge between Robbie and Cece.  Nick's old flame Amelia came to town and he finally made the moves on her.

I don't remember if they did a Halloween story last year, but I didn't really love this one.  It was an important episode because everyone seemed to stop playing around and tell the truth about some of their current romances.  I'm glad that the air has been cleared so that the gang can move on.

I feel like Jess coming clean about liking Sam for real (though that was no shock because she wears her heart on her sleeve) was the saddest.  He seemed like a great guy who loves kids and would mesh well with Jess, but he just wasn't looking for the same thing she was.  I have no doubt that she can do better than him, but you felt like there was some potential there.  However, at least it frees her up for Nick who is still dragging his feet about his feelings for her.

This episode proved that Nick has always been this way about liking someone.  He had practically done everything under the sun to show that he was in love with Amelia in the past except come out and profess his love for her (or simply just ask her out on a date).  Luckily, with Amelia's subpar kissing techniques Nick probably dodged a bullet not immediately hooking up with her.  But at least he let her know about that, even if he paid the price with a slap.

Jess also seemed to pay the price for Nick's actions when he punched her in the face.  That wasn't as half funny as Nick getting beat up by Jess' fellow haunted house workers who made that experience Nick's "worst nightmare."  But I loved that Nick would overcome his fear of haunted houses to try to warn Jess not to ask Sam to be in a real relationship.  I was cracking up when he kept screaming when this scary clown kept getting in his face.  Somehow it doesn't surprise me that Nick has bad nerves like that.  I mean, he is a little simple-minded and probably believes that monsters exist (but is one of those people who pretends he doesn't).

Besides wanting to cheer for Nick getting kicked to the curb by Amelia, the best honesty was between Winston and Shelby.  Not because it was funny, but because it was necessary.  Maybe Winston's cop outfit wasn't the sexiest thing he could wear, but at least he didn't dress like a demented middle-aged woman who has a stuffed animal obsession and still thinks she's a princess.  I already hate puns, but Shelby's "reigning cats and dogs," just took the cake.  I wished that Winston had the authority to lock her up in his cop outfit.  Couldn't be happier that he finally had enough and ended it with her crazy ass.  I'm also glad they showed us just how nuts she was before Winston ended so I don't feel any regrets he's single again.  "Emancipation," indeed, Schmidt.

Schmidt was acting a-fool around Cece and Robbie, but at least he sort of decided to stop acting like a dick.  I'm glad that Robbie is smart and strong enough to stop Schmidt from headbutting him (what, is he a caveman??).  Also, he's just an all-around nice guy who offered Schmidt friendship instead of pointless rivalry.  However, I'm not convinced that Schmidt will completely back off.  I also didn't care too much for his Magic Mike costume.  Though, it was slightly better than him dressing as young Abraham Lincoln.  Of all things that he could dress up as and he picks that.  But I suppose it's better than Nick's (which I have no idea who the hell Arthur is, but what a lazy costume).

There weren't really any great lines from this episode, so that's a little disappointing, but it wasn't terrible.  I would have liked to see them in funnier costumes, perhaps.  They were just in outfits that made me want to shrug.  I loved that the truth came out and there was some punching involved (gotta love that Jess got to get Nick back in the end too).  Looking forward to seeing what everyone's next romantic journey will be.

Nick, The Boyfriend With No Rewards

New Girl, S02E02

Jess needed help maintaining her sex-only relationship with Sam, so Schmidt suggest the guys take her out to give her some pointers, but Schmidt ditches the dinner with Winston so they can go to a club where Kanye West supposedly was at.  Nick and Jess got closer after the dinner, and Jess started to emotionally lean on Nick so that she could be motivated to have sex with Sam.

What I loved about this episode was that it pointed out again the sexual chemistry that exists between Nick and Jess, and it sort of showed what it might be like if they were dating (at least at the emotional level).  What started off as an awkward and drunk dinner to themselves, transformed them into a new level of friendship where Nick had no problems going off with Jess all day to Ikea.  I never expected that to happen.  I mean, they clearly have chemistry, but usually it fizzles right after they pretty much catch themselves crossing that line from friendship into something else.  So it was pretty exciting to see Jess and Nick sort of being a couple, even though she was just using Nick as her emotional boyfriend.  It was weird, for sure, that she had to do boyfriend things with Nick before she could get in the mood to have sex with Sam, but I didn't mind because it was so funny to see Nick going along with Jess' wishes as if he were already a whipped man, yet not getting the "rewards."  I was pretty annoyed when Winston spoiled it by telling Nick that he was basically her "emotional fluffer" and to stop doing anything beyond what he considered a friend would do.

But luckily, Nick hated being told what to do and was fine doing things like building her furniture for her.  What was even better than that was Nick admitted that he is sometimes attracted to Jess!  We all knew it, but I liked hearing him say it.  I really think this has moved their relationship significantly forward.  But one thing that was bizarre was that Nick was dancing to the "sexy mix" he had given Jess to get her in the mood for Sam (instead of relying on him).  I mean, he should know what she was doing to that music, yet that's a cause to dance?  He's so weird!  But I love it.

I don't have much to say about Schmidt's story.  It was pretty stupid.  But Winston's story about being sexually frustrated with Shelby was a little interesting.  Not the part where he was being kinda gross and fantasizing about every woman that he came in contact with (even Jess and Cece), but when Shelby claimed they had a "big fight," and Winston commented that they barely even talked.  What is going on there?  I didn't know Shelby was so crazy.  Or either she's just bored with him or something.  I doubt that Winston could do better, but he needs to take some action before he's stuck with a girl who's gotten a little too comfortable with him.  I mean, they're watching more TV together than doing anything intimate.

Most of the best lines, I think, came from when Jess and Nick were at the restaurant, but the one that stands out the most is one of Nick's (him calling her a "loft troll came as a close second):

This place is fancy and I don’t know which fork to stab myself with.

I really hope that there will be more opportunities for Nick and Jess to have dinner together because they are a disaster, but such a fun disaster.  Schmidt needs to return to being funny because lately he's been kind of off (possibly a side effect of not being with Cece).  Winston possibly needs to stop dating Shelby before one of those fantasies in his head becomes a reality (which may not be the worst thing if he's never gonna get some from his own girlfriend).   I, of course, just want to see what Nick and Jess will do next to torture us while we watch them like each other but resist taking it to that next level.

The Only Good Couple Is Jess And Nick!

New Girl, S01E22

Nick somehow thought that in light of his friends all having good relationships in their lives, he would start to grow tomatoes.  After Nick scrapped that idea, he came to terms with losing Winston as the friend who could share the crappy life that they used to have.  Jess invited Oulie to dinner with she and Russell and noticed that they still had a passion between them that was lacking in her own relationship.  Russell no longer wanted such a relationship anymore, but Jess realized that she did and broke it off with him.  Jess then got into a ridiculously heated fight with Nick after she saw that he hooked up with his old flame again.  Cece tried to cut Schmidt loose, and her roommate Nadia took him out.  Schmidt ended up in the hospital with a broken penis, and Cece couldn't hold back her feelings anymore and told him that she liked him.

Nick and tomatoes...  All I could think about when he said he was growing them was the time when he had that cactus that he massacred.  He has no business even being in the same space with house plants or plants grown for food.  It was disgusting how he was watering them through his mouth.  I can't imagine how he thinks that farming was the way to go.  He was cute, though, when he threatened Winston with the pitchfork and later when he was throwing away his scarecrow and beating it with a bat.

Concerning Winston, he was insufferable with his constant talk of Shelby!  You can't blame Nick for getting a little irritated that every other word out of his friend's mouth was about how much he and Shelby were in love.  Geez!  Calm your ass down, Winston!  You guys haven't even been dating that long, and I can't possibly see it just being as perfect as it has been so far (I say that because in reality Winston should have never gotten a chance with her in the first place).  If only Nick had ran him through with the pitchfork.  Shut up, Winston!

I like that Jess is so talented in creating awkward situations.  In what planet is it a good idea to invite your boyfriend's ex to dinner with you?  There's no reason that Oulie and Jess need to be friends (despite their naked hug at the gym).  In fact, I thought that Oulie didn't even like Jess after the debacle with Sarah, but I guess that wasn't the case at all.  I thought that Jess would end up driving Russell crazy by agreeing to have Oulie around, but instead she started to see that the two still had something between them.  It was embarrassing to watch Jess try to get under Russell's skin like Oulie did just so she could feel some passion.  She just seemed like a child trying to make her father mad or something.  You couldn't pay me to watch that scene again.  But I was really happy to see Jess reasonably let Russel go.  It's true that passion is often overrated, but I also agree with Jess that it's worth it sometimes even if it's painful and harder than whatever it was that she and Russell had.  Yes!  Now maybe Jess could get with Nick!

I was disappointed that Nick, after listening to Winston's bliss of "sandwiches and sex," decided that he should get back with Caroline.  No!!  My God, he is on a roll with the stupid ideas!  Tomatoes and then his old girlfriend??  There is seriously something wrong with him.  I don't know if Nick should be allowed into society because he's missing a crucial part of his brain for decision-making.  The only good thing about that hookup was that Jess and Nick got into a huge fight about it.  And in doing so, you could see the passion between them that Jess was looking for.  Of course, neither she or Nick noticed it, but I'm pretty sure that most viewers saw it.  My favorite part of their fight was the end where they were shaking their butts at each other to the point that they were competing for who could move their ass their fastest.  That was crazy funny.  Oh, when will they see that they are perfect for each other in an insane kind of way?

Whether Cece and Schmidt are perfect for each other is still debatable.  I can see how Cece might like Schmidt's personality, but he still makes me queasy with his dirty talk.  I was a little glad that his date with Nadia didn't go so well, and he ended up in the hospital.  Nadia is crazy, though.  But she was funny when she was saying "Mick Mouse" and Schmidt was yelling at her that he had no idea who that was.  How could you not get that was Mickey Mouse?  I was surprised it took him so long to understand, but I wasn't surprised that Nadia's sex was too rough even for Schmidt.  Geez.  At least it gave Winston a way to torture him at the end.

I would say this episode was good because I got to see Nick acting crazy in a new farmer way and Jess finally ended it with Russell.  I'll miss the man-crush that Nick had on him and the possible influence to achieve he could have had on him.  Now that Winston has gotten so annoyingly happy with Shelby, I really hope that they have some kind of conflict soon.  Winston is the type that needs to be grounded.  Cece and Schmidt...  I just hope Cece admitting that she likes him doesn't become something she regrets.  And I really hope that Jess and Nick start to see they could be great for each other.  If Nick has really gotten back with his ex, I'm going to punch the TV.

Everyone Seems To Be Getting Dumber

New Girl, S01E18

Jess' romance with Russel continues with a bang!  Just kidding. It starts off with a hearty pat on the back, which leads Jess to wonder what Russel's attraction was to her in the first place.  Cece and Schmidt struggle for dominance in their relationship, but ultimately have to decide to become public about their relationship.  Winston finds out that a little space from Shelby is more than he can bear.  And the best story of all (please know that I am joking), Nick fawns over his old law school buddy who is the "smartest guy he knows." I was underwhelmed by each of these stories.

I just have to say right away that Cece and Schmidt need to finally come out the closet (or the trunk) about their relationship.  If it wasn't for border control or customs or whatever finding the two naked in back of Schmidt's car, I'm pretty sure Cece would continue to fight tooth and nail to hide her "shame."  I'm over them sneaking around since it's pretty clear that Cece can't stay away from Schmidt, so there's no point to keep everyone in the dark.  I think that Winston's response to finding out their secret was funny, though.  His eyes in the rear-view mirror were like he was going to run them off the road.  He looked crazy.  But I guess the idea of someone as hot as Cece addicted to someone as disgusting as Schmidt, is a good sign that the world has turned upside.

Speaking of Winston being crazy--he actually told Shelby that he thought some space would be good for them?  He has to be out of his mind!  They had like a one-night stand, I believe, and he randomly called her again after the longest time and got lucky that she thought he was worth the time for a real relationship.  Winston should be on his knees every day thanking the powers above that a decent girl (and damn cute) would want him.  Glad he came to his senses, and Shelby missed him as much as he missed her.  That moron is so lucky.  I wanted to slap his peanut head.

So perhaps Jess wasn't dumber than usual in this episode, but her relationship with Russel sure seemed to have lost steam since the last time.  We all knew she would have those awkward conversations (talking about guys having to "dig for her gold" was one of her gems last night), but I didn't think that their date would end up being so boring.  It wasn't just the pat on her back after it ended--it was just that we only got to listen to Jess babble on about increasingly more inappropriate things and almost nothing on his end.  Sure, Russel is handsome for a man of his age, but he can't win me over as a good match for Jess on his looks alone.

Later, after Jess took Cece's advice to ask Russel out for a change of pace, the same thing happened again.  Jess steered the conversation toward things that suggested he was much older than her before he had to run out of their date because of an emergency phone call (it turned out to be about his daughter).  Again, he didn't say much at all, and it looks like a non-date.  After that, I was pretty over him dating Jess.  Regardless that at the little college mixer that was going on in their apartment Russel arrived to tell her that he was indeed just nervous and off his game, I didn't care about them together anymore.  I felt nothing when they had their first kiss (except that Dirk was freaky and creepy with his hand on her thigh).

While I viewed the Jess and Russel coupling as exciting as dry toast, I watched Nick sink even lower into "Moron Town," by showing us that "the smartest guy he knows" is a jackass named Dirk.  Dirk was beyond obnoxious and had the intelligence of mashed peas, but somehow Nick kept praising him at every turn.  Really, Nick?  This is your idea of a genius??  What were the other students like that he went to law school with?  I'm starting to doubt that his school was a real school at all, if someone like Dirk was around.  Nick was man-crushing on Dirk a little too hard, I thought.  Especially when he demonstrated to Winston what happens when you ask a girl for space, and Nick nearly had his head on Dirk's shoulder.  I couldn't help but giggle at that, despite Nick was hanging on Dirk's every stupid word.

So Nick was making out with college girls who thought he was cool because he could mix a drink, and Jess was dating a guy with so little swagger he was putting me to sleep.  What?  Why can't we just have Nick and Jess together instead!  I don't want to see either on the dating paths they are going down at the moment.  Stop the madness and start steering these two together!

On another note, I did laugh when Nick had to puke in Russel's car and he was hugging Russel.  Before leading Nick to the grass where he could expel the "poison" he told him gently:

OK, we can hug some more later.

Loved that.  I bet Nick, drunk or sober, would have gladly hugged him some more later.  Nick gets pretty insane when he's drunk, but it's hilarious.  You gotta love him shouting out for everyone when the car was right behind him.  His drunk behind even called Dirk to ask where they were.  Nick, you are so sad, but definitely my favorite character on the show.

Next time better signal the end to Cece and Schmidt fooling around behind everyone's backs (hope Winston doesn't keep quiet about it), and Russel better lay on the romance thick quick, or I'm going to get pissed.  I want Jess and Nick together so bad; if Jess (or Nick) isn't dating someone of equal or better character, I'm not having it.