Even Gene Could Do Better

Bob's Burgers, S03E08

Gene ended up dating a girl that he didn't particularly like because he didn't know how to reject her.  When Gene finally had enough of dating her, he lost his resolve to breakup with her when he found out her father owned a bunch of audio equipment he allowed Gene to use at his leisure.  Linda also went on a strict diet that made her super-hungry all the time.

Sometimes it's good to be reminded that Gene and the others aren't the most annoying kids in this show.  They did a great job with Courtney's character because I couldn't stand her ass.  Her voice, her snorting, and especially that disgusting habit of sucking on her necklace--she was repugnant.  Even someone like Gene who is kind of disgusting and irritating couldn't hold a candle to Courtney.  She was the girlfriend from hell.  She was also really freaking clingy--I can't stand that.  It was pretty funny that even Bob agreed to drive Gene away because he hated her.  I felt as mad as Louise that Gene was letting his love of gear get in the way of a really sensible decision to cut her off.

I don't know if wanting unlimited access to Courtney's father's stuff was worth hanging out with her for even another second.  Sure, it was heaven for Gene, but he also had to endure hell with Courtney.  I don't think it was a fair trade off.  Luckily, he didn't take too long to find that out for himself.

It's kind of wrong of me to say, but I sort of wished Courtney had died in that hospital for real.  Yeah, Gene was being a jerk for leading her on and embarrassing her at her own birthday party, but that bitch was over the top annoying!  And she literally cornered him into going out with her.  There was no way he could have said no without looking like an asshole.  And in the end he still looked like one, so I guess it's one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't situations.

It was messed up how Courtney's father stole Gene's song six months later.  Really?  It's not like he broke Courtney's heart (that bitch already had the next boyfriend in mind once Gene dumped her)--that wasn't right.  But I guess it does teach Gene to not so carelessly give away his "genius" works for anyone to just steal.

Linda's diet was ridiculous.  It made a good point about those crazy fad diets where you can only eat a certain thing.  I don't know why anyone would do one of those when they make the person unsatisfied and have little success of working.  Even if they do work, you'd gain that weight back the second you stopped eating skins or whatever the flavor of the month food was.  I'm glad that Linda sort of came to her senses.  She had to have a horny old man tell her she looked good (because Bob's opinions never matter) before she allowed herself to chase after mashed potatoes again.  Her story in general was just like a fly buzzing around your ear and not very interesting.

This wasn't one of my favorites, just because I've had enough of Courtney.  I just wouldn't want to watch her again sucking on her damn necklace or opening her big mouth.  The story did give me some perspective on how I see Gene, though.  He's not that bad when I think about Courtney.  Linda, as usual, fails to bring a good story that's mainly about her acting crazy.  I doubt I'll see the day when one of her stories is entertaining.

One Mama, Two Mamas

The Cleveland Show, S03E21

Donna was upset about not knowing her mother, so Cleveland tried to look for her.  He settled on paying an actress to pretend to be her long-lost mother, but it backfired on him twice when the actress wouldn't leave and suddenly died during Donna's recorder dedication to her.  Cleveland came clean and Donna kicked him out of the house.  When Donna's real mother came to see him at work, Cleveland got the idea to put them both in the hospital so that Donna would have a chance to talk to her mother without her knowing.  Donna wasn't immediately pleased when she discovered what he had done, but eventually she was happy to finally know her mother.

I think the best thing about Cleveland hiring someone to play Donna's mother was that the woman he picked was voiced by Loretta Devine.  She's just such a pleasant, motherly-sounding woman that I could buy that even with her terrible acting (Cleveland really should have selected better) that someone would at least want to believe she was their mother.  I'm glad that Cleveland's plan didn't develop into a drawn-out blackmail and eventual breakdown of all the lies the actress made up and the woman just suddenly died instead.  Who would think that would ever happen?  But if it had never happened that way, I doubt with Cleveland's "expert" finding skills that he would have gotten any closer to locating Didi.

I didn't understand at first what the hell crashing Cleveland's car into a tree was going to do to help Donna and Didi meet.  There could have been a million other ways to get them together secretly without Donna having a clue she was speaking to her own mother.  I was hoping that the reason Didi abandoned Donna was something more sorted and shameful, but it was a fairly tame reason.  She didn't want to give up her fame to raise a child--pretty simple.  We have no idea what happened to her father and all, but I guess he doesn't really matter in the story.  Anyway, Donna did grow up with Auntie-Mama, who probably did a better job raising her than Didi ever could.  So no matter what reason she left, it didn't feel like it really screwed up Donna's life all that much.  The most interesting thing about her story was that Didi had no idea that her brother Kevin was a cross-dresser.  She could spill the beans about Auntie-Mama's true identity (or I suppose she did after the episode ended).

None of the jokes particularly worked for me this time, but I did slightly like when Junior was talking to Donna's fake mother and tried to find out what kind of candy she had in her purse.  He got frustrated quickly and told her to just give it to him, and he just grabbed the first thing closest to a sweet he could find.  I don't know why he needs to be so desperate for a snack (especially from someone he just met), but damn.  I like when Junior has these random explosions over insignificant things.

If they had to do a Mother's Day type story, I'm glad it wasn't about Cleveland's mother and they took the time to explain a little more about Donna's past.  I can't say that her past was incredibly interesting, but at least no one has to wonder why Donna's mother never comes to visit.  I don't know why that thought would cross anyone's mind, but at least it doesn't have to now.  I would have liked to see Rallo do something special for his mother in the episode, but they all can't focus heavily on him.  I wish they would, but I know they won't.

The Only Good Couple Is Jess And Nick!

New Girl, S01E22

Nick somehow thought that in light of his friends all having good relationships in their lives, he would start to grow tomatoes.  After Nick scrapped that idea, he came to terms with losing Winston as the friend who could share the crappy life that they used to have.  Jess invited Oulie to dinner with she and Russell and noticed that they still had a passion between them that was lacking in her own relationship.  Russell no longer wanted such a relationship anymore, but Jess realized that she did and broke it off with him.  Jess then got into a ridiculously heated fight with Nick after she saw that he hooked up with his old flame again.  Cece tried to cut Schmidt loose, and her roommate Nadia took him out.  Schmidt ended up in the hospital with a broken penis, and Cece couldn't hold back her feelings anymore and told him that she liked him.

Nick and tomatoes...  All I could think about when he said he was growing them was the time when he had that cactus that he massacred.  He has no business even being in the same space with house plants or plants grown for food.  It was disgusting how he was watering them through his mouth.  I can't imagine how he thinks that farming was the way to go.  He was cute, though, when he threatened Winston with the pitchfork and later when he was throwing away his scarecrow and beating it with a bat.

Concerning Winston, he was insufferable with his constant talk of Shelby!  You can't blame Nick for getting a little irritated that every other word out of his friend's mouth was about how much he and Shelby were in love.  Geez!  Calm your ass down, Winston!  You guys haven't even been dating that long, and I can't possibly see it just being as perfect as it has been so far (I say that because in reality Winston should have never gotten a chance with her in the first place).  If only Nick had ran him through with the pitchfork.  Shut up, Winston!

I like that Jess is so talented in creating awkward situations.  In what planet is it a good idea to invite your boyfriend's ex to dinner with you?  There's no reason that Oulie and Jess need to be friends (despite their naked hug at the gym).  In fact, I thought that Oulie didn't even like Jess after the debacle with Sarah, but I guess that wasn't the case at all.  I thought that Jess would end up driving Russell crazy by agreeing to have Oulie around, but instead she started to see that the two still had something between them.  It was embarrassing to watch Jess try to get under Russell's skin like Oulie did just so she could feel some passion.  She just seemed like a child trying to make her father mad or something.  You couldn't pay me to watch that scene again.  But I was really happy to see Jess reasonably let Russel go.  It's true that passion is often overrated, but I also agree with Jess that it's worth it sometimes even if it's painful and harder than whatever it was that she and Russell had.  Yes!  Now maybe Jess could get with Nick!

I was disappointed that Nick, after listening to Winston's bliss of "sandwiches and sex," decided that he should get back with Caroline.  No!!  My God, he is on a roll with the stupid ideas!  Tomatoes and then his old girlfriend??  There is seriously something wrong with him.  I don't know if Nick should be allowed into society because he's missing a crucial part of his brain for decision-making.  The only good thing about that hookup was that Jess and Nick got into a huge fight about it.  And in doing so, you could see the passion between them that Jess was looking for.  Of course, neither she or Nick noticed it, but I'm pretty sure that most viewers saw it.  My favorite part of their fight was the end where they were shaking their butts at each other to the point that they were competing for who could move their ass their fastest.  That was crazy funny.  Oh, when will they see that they are perfect for each other in an insane kind of way?

Whether Cece and Schmidt are perfect for each other is still debatable.  I can see how Cece might like Schmidt's personality, but he still makes me queasy with his dirty talk.  I was a little glad that his date with Nadia didn't go so well, and he ended up in the hospital.  Nadia is crazy, though.  But she was funny when she was saying "Mick Mouse" and Schmidt was yelling at her that he had no idea who that was.  How could you not get that was Mickey Mouse?  I was surprised it took him so long to understand, but I wasn't surprised that Nadia's sex was too rough even for Schmidt.  Geez.  At least it gave Winston a way to torture him at the end.

I would say this episode was good because I got to see Nick acting crazy in a new farmer way and Jess finally ended it with Russell.  I'll miss the man-crush that Nick had on him and the possible influence to achieve he could have had on him.  Now that Winston has gotten so annoyingly happy with Shelby, I really hope that they have some kind of conflict soon.  Winston is the type that needs to be grounded.  Cece and Schmidt...  I just hope Cece admitting that she likes him doesn't become something she regrets.  And I really hope that Jess and Nick start to see they could be great for each other.  If Nick has really gotten back with his ex, I'm going to punch the TV.

Andy Is Kind Of A Sicko

Cougar Town, S03E01

 I didn't have an episode of New Girl to enjoy this week, so I hoped that Tuesday night's void might be lessened by some of the wackiness up in ol' Cougar Town (actually, what city in Florida does it take place?). Such was not meant to be.  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a shipwreck, but it wasn't as great as it could have been.

Why?  Well, for one, Travis got hurt, which meant we had to listen to him whine for a bit and watch Jules mother him even more than she usually does.  The only good thing about them going to the hospital was that we learned that no one in their gang knows one damn thing about Tom besides that he lives in their neighborhood.  He was a doctor whom no one knew even his last name!  This is the first episode I felt like they were the jerks, and anything creepy Tom did he could get a free pass.

Besides learning how much of a background character Tom was not only to us but to his fellow characters, we also learned that Andy has been regularly spying on Grayson.  It's times like this that I'm reminded that Andy isn't just an awkward and childish man, but he's also creepy and evil (torturing Grayson about his dwindling affection from Jules).  His ultimate man-crush is unquestionable Bobby, but now I'm starting to think that if he were given the opportunity, he might get into Grayson's pants too.  Seriously, who watches someone so consistently from their own window and comes into his fiancee's house to watch him?  Granted all of the gang just comes and goes as they please, but they usually don't hide behind chairs.

Given that Andy is someone I would cross a street to avoid, he was right about how much Grayson wanted a little loving from Jules, and it showed in humorous ways.  It's funny how Grayson used to be so cold, but now he can start rubbing Andy's shoulders without stopping himself right away.  Andy was a little more into it than he needed to be, going back to what I was saying before about him.

That gag with the dogs...  I'm not an animal person so it just pissed me off.  It was funny in the sense that it was cute, but it wasn't funny in the sense that I laughed.  And whose dogs were those?  Do they just all gather there at the park all day long?

There wasn't much Ellie time in this episode, sadly.  However, she did manage to squeeze out one good line:

I miss being a ho.

 Laurie welcomes her back anytime.  Ha.

When are we going to see more of Demon Baby Stan??  He's probably my new favorite character.  If not, the Ellie supply needs to be higher and the coddling-Travis time needs to be way down.  And Jules didn't even get crazy this episode, now that I think about it.  We need that!  Next week better have a better ratio of these things I just mentioned.

A Heart Attack Is A Good Valentine's Day Story

2 Broke Girls, S01E16

This Valentine's Day episode was less about romantic love and more about fatherly love.  Our favorite cashier, Earl, comes down with a heart attack as he is about to get off work.  He treats the condition with little anxiety, remarking that he started feeling the pain when Sophie came in her revealing dress.  Now that is not much of a shocker because her melons were quite on display when she came into the restaurant, sporting a purple parasol.  Wow.  I also like what Sophie says to Earl before he has his attack:

I wish we had black people in Poland when I was growing up.

Caroline and Max rush Earl to the hospital with Sophie's town car.  The ER is full of people, and the guy at the front desk is anything but sympathetic to Max's sense of urgency.  Her threats to this unhelpful man are hilarious.  They tell him that Earl is actually Morgan Freeman, and that Max is his daughter.  The guy finds it hard to believe and even less when she says that Earl is the "love of her life."  Max wonderfully explains that both of these things are true because they're from the South.  Being a Southern girl myself, I can appreciate that kind of joke.  My favorite threat that Max uses on the front desk guy is that she would "cut [him] so deep that [he'd] have a vagina."  Her thug side really came out when Earl was in trouble.  I loved it.  I don't have to necessarily understand how their relationship came about, but you really see Max's deep love of him.

Caroline is able to get Earl a private room after asking for the help of her ex, Dr. David, who works at the hospital and practically owns it.  I was surprised that after he complained about his Dartmouth shirt Caroline never returned that he pretty easily agreed to help Max and Caroline out.  I wasn't really sure why, but Caroline took it as a sign that the two might get back together.  It was here that I thought we would see that random hook-up for the sake of it being Valentine's Day.  No such luck.  He rejected her because he didn't want anything to do with her family now that Caroline's father was in prison.  Wow.  What an asshole.  I guess we were a little deceived by him helping Earl to think that he was a decent guy.  Well, Caroline is better off.

It was funny when Han comes to visit Earl at the hospital.  He was still wearing his Cupid wings from the restaurant and Earl mistook him for an angel.  One of his concerns about going to Heaven was that there would be no jazz music.  Ha.

I also found myself unable to hold back a giggle when Sophie and Oleg talk in the restaurant.  He wants her to come clean his apartment and she responds:

Oh, you cannot get me to come.

Oh, I can get you to come.

No, I can longer come anymore.

It goes on like that for longer than I thought it would and the sexual implications are funny since it's Sophie, who is almost dead serious, and Oleg, whose brain never leaves the gutter if he can help it.

Caroline's father surprises both girls with some flowers at the end of the episode.  Aww.  I like that Max turns the sentimental moment into something sexual to distract us from her real feelings.  But that's something that I like about her character.  As far as romance goes, Max did apologize to the front desk guy at the end and give him some Valentine's candy.  He then asked her out, and Max only hesitated a second to get his number.  Hey, I think they have something special.  If anyone can sit there and take Max's most thug-like threats and not wet himself, he's probably a good match for her.

This episode was a good blend of funny, but also a bit heartwarming.  They should have more stories like this one.  This might be one of my favorite Valentine's episodes I've seen within the past week.