Schmidt Presents "Tinfinity"

New Girl, S02E18

Schmidt and Nick celebrated their tenth roommate anniversary with an elaborate party.  Nick wanted to be part of the planning, but Schmidt only pretended to give up some of his control.  Jess was determined to stop thinking about Nick's lips and frustrated about not knowing what he was thinking, so she latched onto a "real man" who was more open about his feelings.  Cece was disappointed at how casually her marriage proposal came about with Shivrang.

It's just like Schmidt to throw a party that most people would mistake as a celebration for lovers rather than friends.  It's sort of cute that he values his friendship with Nick so much that he would want to make a big deal out of each year that they've spent together.  I'm a little surprised that their friends were down with it, though--I'd be questioning why two grown men who aren't together need to throw a party that wasn't just about drinking and dancing (or hooking up with random girls).   But people seemed to have no problem doing things like taking pictures in the Nick and Schmidt photo cutouts (super weird, even if it was for a married couple).

I guess the best thing about the party was Nick's contribution of a purchased porta-potty.  I might understand someone who often holds outside parties wanting to have one on hand, but not someone like Nick who probably doesn't even have a place to put that after the party is over with.  If it were of good quality, I guess he could rent it out to other people, but it was disgusting to look at from the outside--I couldn't imagine even washing my hands in there.  It's so like Nick to buy the one that was meant for the garbage and be so proud of it that he was trying to bully people into using it.  I really like when he was trying to get Sanders to use it and gave him the ultimatum of using it or leaving the party.  Sanders left without a second thought.  You would think people literally running away from his porta-potty would give him a sign that he made a really dumb and filthy purchase.

I liked that Jess is so obsessed with Nick's lips, but would rather run from that problem than do something about it (like kiss Nick some more to get it out of her system).  Her solution was to flirt aggressively with Jax (which might have been partially because she wanted to screw with Winston a bit), who seemed to be exactly what she wanted--a man who could tell her straight up if he liked her or not.  It was interesting both that Jax turned out to be exactly what she didn't want, and that Nick was acting a little jealous of Jax.  Although Jess didn't get to kiss someone who could erase her memory of Nick, Jax turned out to be a significant guy in the scheme of things.  He proved that Jess probably does like Nick's "grumpy mystery" better than a guy who declares that he is going to marry and put a baby in her in less than a few days or knowing her.  I liked when Nick, trying to hide that he didn't like Jess with Jax, asked her if she truly wanted a guy who was open like that.  I liked that moment as much as I liked when he was staring at Jess and Jax at the bar with concern.  Jess didn't get the cure she needed to stop thinking about Nick's lips, so she ran off in the night after being offered a bottle he had drank from.  It'd be nice if all the guys she tries to get involved with put her right back where she started with Nick.

Before Jess met Jax, she met some random guys and had a good line with the second one we saw:

[Guy #2] Microchips be gettin' smaller.  They be like blueberry size.  So you could put 'em in your cereal, girl.

[Jess] I don't get your thing.

 No wonder she ran to the first "normal" guy that she ran into after that.  What in the world was that guy talking about?

I've decided that I like Shivrang, even though he kept using the expression "do this thing" to refer to getting married.  The first time he said it I felt like it was such a passive way to refer to marriage, but then again, they are having an arranged marriage.  I don't mind that, but it would be nice if they made it seem less like going to get a mole removed and more about joining their lives together.  Anyway, when he got on the stage and proposed to Cece with all of the toast sequence stuff going on (can't believe that Schmidt wanted that romantic display going on during his speech), I thought that was really sweet.  He asked her again if she wanted to "do this thing," but by then it sounded just right and less mechinical.  I'm glad that things worked out for Cece, but I am a little sad that Schmidt had to see that at his "Tinfinity" event.  Shivrang stole his moment in two senses--he ruined his big speech and he ruined his chance to propose to Cece in a big flashy way.  You can't blame Shivrang for that, though.  I'm a little in the middle right now whether I want Shivrang to suceed or if I want Schmidt to make a comeback. Schmidt's heart is in the right place, but he can't get it together.  Shivrang may not be beating Cece over the head with the romance stick, but he's a good guy with no drama.  Can''t be mad at her for going either way.

This was a good episode. Somehow the party became more about Nick taking a stand with a gross porta-potty he bought than having a good time.  Jess tried to run away from Nick's lips to another, but found that a guy who is too open is just as bad as a guy who is a little closed up like Nick.  Cece was sort of swept off her feet when Shivrang redid his proposal to her, and the slightly odd friendship anniversary party turned to an engagement party of some sorts.  I don't know if Cece will really go ahead and walk down the aisle for Shivrang, but it's just as likely that she will as it is that Schmidt will win her back somehow.

Get Out Of Here, Schmidt!

New Girl, S02E17

Schmidt found an empty parking spot and started a competition for it between him, Jess, and Nick.  Nick dropped out of the race initially and became the deciding vote for Schmidt and Jess, but he only got manipulated by them due to the kiss situation.  Fed up with being toyed with by Jess and Schmidt, Nick made a mad dash for the spot, prompting all three of them to stake out the parking spot until one of them finally gave it up.  Winston also ran around town looking for a condom so he could have sex with Daisy during her tight schedule.

Schmidt got on my nerves with his reaction to Nick and Jess' kiss.  I feel like they should have never told him because he made into something more upsetting than it was.  Jess and Nick were bringing a new and awkward vibe to the apartment, but that didn't give Schmidt the right to give them shit about it like they had been having sex or anything and were stirring up drama because of that.  Mostly I think Schmidt was worried about the parking spot and Jess using sexual tension to get an advantage over him.  He did bring up the loft oath about some no-nailing policy that the guys had all signed, but hearing that just made me hate the fact that Schmidt knew about Jess and Nick all the more.  He made it so much worse talking about that agreement and forcing a kiss with Jess (so gross).

Schmidt also interrupted one of the best parts of the episode.  Jess had forfeited her rights to the parking spot after Nick talked about how much he regretted kissing her.  I absolutely loved when he said that his real regret was that he made things between them weird and the reason he kissed her was because he couldn't help it.  The way they were looking at each was just like they would finally get to kiss again until "Pee Pants" Schmidt walked in between them and basically peed all over their moment.  I was so pissed about that!  I almost wish that Jess and Nick didn't care about the parking spot from the beginning and just let Schmidt have it so they could have all that time to concentrate on themselves.  Wish Jess had rammed into his car so hard that it flipped over and slid down the street into traffic.

One part that was equally as good that Schmidt didn't ruin was when Jess decided to seduce Nick by wearing his hoodie paired only with some tights.  I can't believe how much she wanted that parking spot or how much she unconsciously wanted to flirt with Nick.  Typically you would think that it would be hard or embarrassing to come on to your roommate for the sake of easier parking, but Jess looked like she was more than willing to slide that hoodie down to show him what was underneath.  I loved it because Nick was surprised and confused, yet not against her methods.  I even liked when he offered her a hug and Jess panicked and gave him a purple nurple.  One of the comedy benefits of them being so awkward with each other now.

The only thing that I liked in Winston's story was when he ran to Cece's for a condom.  Shivrang crazily was giving Cece a second chance, it seemed, and she was trying to convince him that her friends were chill and drama-free.  I liked that after Winston had made Shivrang confess he did have a condom and assumed that Cece wasn't going to give Shivrang any that night that Shivrang claimed this second meeting with Cece's friends was worse than the first time.  I had to agree, and he'd be the biggest idiot in the world to give her a third chance.  Not sure if Cece's dodging a bullet or not--we haven't quite gotten to see what Shivrang is all about yet.

I liked this episode mainly because of how Jess and Nick were acting around each other.  I don't know how long it will continue to be like this with them, but since it's creating a lot of funny situations, I don't mind if it drags on.  I just hope that Schmidt will butt out and let their natural attraction for each other play out.  I'm getting a bit antsy to see what next step they will take.  Whether they decide to start seeing other people or try out dating each other, I'm ready for it, even if it causes a lot more damage to their friendship.

The Kiss's Many Effects

New Girl, S02E16

Jess and Nick couldn't face each other after the kiss, so they both tried to avoid each other by spending time with their friends.  Unfortunately, they ended up running to the same place, a marriage convention.  Schmidt attended so that he could stop Cece from finding a husband there, but he ended up defending her when the table placing made Cece look like an outcast.

I should have known that neither Jess nor Nick would be able to play off such a passionate kiss like it was nothing.  I didn't think that Nick would resort to moonwalk retreating from Jess, though.  I really loved when he kept doing that because it's such an flashy way to run away from someone, at least when Nick does it.  It doubles the attention you would get from just walking away normally.

Winston also had a funny reaction to hearing about their kiss.  He surprised me both by hitting Nick in the balls and telling him that Nick would have to move out if he didn't make it right.  I know that Nick isn't the best roommate in the world, but I thought for sure he would stick by his childhood friend's side.  That was great.

Another great moment in this story was when Jess and Nick had to make that table out of newspaper and tape.  Despite them bickering through the whole activity, they made the strongest table.  I liked seeing Nick jump on the table to prove that it would break and it remained intact under Nick's weight and another guy's.  It was nice to see like a physical piece of evidence that Jess and Nick would make a strong couple.

 Before that, Nick said something really funny about their kiss, which was great not only because it was a flimsy argument but it also showed that he's oddly attracted to Jess:

You have to take a little responsibility!  Tarting around in that little, soft, pink robe and not expecting to get kissed!  I'm a man, Jessica!  Pink robes are my catnip!

What man can't control himself when he sees a girl in a pink robe?  What?  The weirdest things turn Nick on, and I love it.

I was glad that Jess didn't try to lie about the kiss to Sam, but I felt bad that he wanted nothing to do with her as soon as he heard about it.  I thought Jess might get some time to explain or something, but he was done with her pretty much the second she ended her sentence about Nick.  Sam continued the series of surprises in this story when he swiftly punched Nick in the chest when Nick came along to defend Jess.  Wow.  He got his one hit on Nick, said his piece and was out.  That is not how I imagined the end of their relationship, and the speedy end actually made me a lot more sad than I had thought.  I mean, Jess got dumped pretty hard.  Plus, it wasn't like she was going to run into Nick's arms right after that, so it wasn't painless for her.

I did love Nick's dancing to a Taylor Swift song while Jess was drinking in sorrow.  He has such gaudy and strange dance moves!  If it were me, I would have forgiven him instantly after seeing that.  It was cute that he wanted to cheer her up, and I sort of wish that Jess would have laughed at him like I had.  Later, though, I was disappointed that Nick looked like he was going to break his promise to not to kiss her again, but he only hugged Jess in an unnatural way.  I guess that's just how it's going to be between the two of them for a while.  I doubt they'll let down their pride and admit how much they like each other for real.

Schmidt, on the other hand, has no pride at all showing up at the Indian Marriage Convention dressed in traditional Indian clothes.  Nick was too busy running from his problems to comment on how ridiculous he looked, so I was happy that Winston managed to get the job done:

You look like the fortune-teller in Big.

 However, Winston didn't look too bad in the white shirt he was wearing, but Nick looked just as bad as Schmidt (I don't think Nick can pull off any hat, really).  It's no wonder that the coordinator at the convention was literally all over Winston's ass.  I loved seeing that, even if he's sorta with Daisy now.  That lady was super-aggressive, and it made Winston a little uncomfortable.  I would have liked to see him get with her.

I wasn't really moved by the grand speech that Schmidt made to defend Cece at the end, but I did like how he ended it:

You people could have had it all.   And you shoved her over there at a table with Nick.  Get your crap together, India.

I liked that he brings up Nick like everyone knows who he is.  It was just generally interesting in the first place that Nick and Cece were seated at the same table.  I never thought of her life choices being similar to Nick.  That's a wake up call, if I ever saw one.  It made me notice that she is the type of person to just go from one thing to the next without much planning.  I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but apparently it didn't make her the most attractive wife candidate.  It's pretty surprising considering how beautiful she is.  Guess looks will only get you so far.  Damn.

Schmidt and Cece ended up sleeping with each other again.  They might have missed doing that, but I sure haven't.  It hasn't been long enough since the last time we had to hear Schmidt talk about their sex, nor see the two of them jump into bed.  Gross.  I mean, I'm happy they're sort of back together because I'm tired of Schmidt stalking her, but I'll never get used to how dirty Schmidt makes everything they do in the bed sound.

This was a good episode, full of a lot of reactions that I didn't expect.  I mostly didn't calculate that Sam and Jess would be over so soon after the kiss was done.  That was good for the sake of Jess and Nick in the future, but I couldn't help but feel bad for Jess getting tossed away in a blink of an eye.  I liked Sam enough that I could have tolerated them at least trying to work it out.  I'm not too much overjoyed to see Schmidt and Cece working their way back to a shared bed.  I haven't missed the filthy things I have to see and hear regarding that.  I just wish that Nick and Jess would stop being so ashamed of their love.  They need to turn all this awkward energy resisting each other into an awkward power couple!

Finally The Right Time Came

New Girl, S02E15

Schmidt, Nick, and Winston went out to hook up with some girls, leaving Jess behind in the apartment alone.  Schmidt and Nick fought over a girl, while Winston met a girl willing to help him talk better with women.  Everyone ended back at the loft after Jess freaked out from a strange noise at the door and played their favorite game.

Nick's obsession with his stolen women's coat was so cute.  Only he could have a confidence boost from that and refuse to take it off even if it got him kicked out of the club.  I was dying for someone to make an Inspector Gadget reference and Winston obliged me later on when they were playing the game.  That really added to Nick looking ridiculous.

I was sort of mad that Schmidt, who usually doesn't have too many problems getting girls, was getting in the way of Nick and Holly.  Finally Nick had found a woman who was turned on by the sadness that surrounds his life rather than repulsed by it.  She was definitely an odd woman, but you don't look a gift horse in the mouth.  It sucked that Nick had not just Schmidt getting in his way, but also Jess, who was being her typical "cooler" self.

Jess in this episode was really adorable.  This was mostly when she was left alone in the apartment, playing with her mountain of clothes.  I was so surprised that she acting like a little kid with nothing else better to do than run fake marathons and dress up like a robot.   That Nick doll she made from a melon and hoodie with a beer can in her head was borderline creepy, but also made her look like she just couldn't stand a night without her favorite guy.  I loved it--she is such a dork.  I actually liked it better when she was spending time by herself rather than when everyone came home to play True American.

Of course, the best thing about them playing the game was when Nick and Jess were stuck behind the "Iron Curtain" and made to kiss.  It was funny how hard it was for them to do it even the slightest bit naturally.  The weirdest attempt was when Nick was smiling like the Joker and Jess told him he couldn't kiss with his teeth.  It was disappointing that they failed to seal the deal despite that Jess admitted that Nick could be hot (if he groomed himself) and they had a little moment together.   Sam came along and ruined the magic they had started to have, and they eneded up being awkward with each other again.

However, all that drama paid off when Nick admitted that he did want to kiss Jess, just not in such an artificial setting.  I got excited hearing that.  Then, unfortunately, Nick started talking incoherently and fled to the window ledge instead of elaborating on what he meant.  I was getting pretty fed up then because they had almost had all night to have their first kiss together, and it just wasn't happening.  Finally, at the end Nick unexpectedly grabbed Jess and the two of them had such a passionate kiss!  There was no way you could say that Nick was doing it all because Jess was 100% kissing him back.  Wow!  It was so amazing to see!  And perfect that it came right when you thought that them advertising Nick and Jess kissing was just a ploy to get you to watch.  We are back on track with Nick and Jess--yes!

This was a great episode mainly because we got to see "Trench Coat Nick" and the first kiss between Nick and Jess.  It took almost to the very end of the episode before were we rewarded from watching Nick and Jess fumble around to lock lips, but finally the right time came along.  I doubt that Jess will so quickly start rethinking her feelings about Sam, but she can't possibly be able to forget how electric her kiss with Nick was. She was blown away and she can't erase that.  Nick better not try and pretend it didn't happen either.  I want to see them next time expressing at least their feedback of those magical few seconds.

Pepperwood And Pogos

New Girl, S02E14

Nick became convinced that one of Jess' most improved students was psychotic and dangerous.  When he snuck into the student's shed and saw pictures of a girl being murdered, Nick made Jess think her life was in danger.  Winston learned of his "pogo" and told Schmidt that he had one of his own.  When Schmidt's pogo came out, everyone else in the loft wanted to know theirs.

I don't know if we've yet to see how Jess' job has been going, but this was a good start.  I liked how her teachings relate to Nick's hobby as well.  I don't think he would have had an easy way to get involved with her student if he didn't consider himself a writer.  The more Nick identifies himself with writing, the more I like it, such as when he scoffed at Jess' idea of reading Edgar's story at first:

Writers don't read, we write.

However, more than being a writer in this episode, Nick started acting like a detective and sneaking around people's houses and breaking into sheds.  Wow, it's dangerous what Nick can do with some imagination and some free time.  I don't know if him breaking the law was worse or better than him showing up to Jess' class as a guy from Chicago named Julius Pepperwood.  I did like that his Chicago accent was heavier when he was Pepperwood and he was sort of flirting with Jess a little bit.  I feel like through his new persona a few of his hidden emotions came through.

The best part of him being Pepperwood, though, was when he was wrestling with Jess for that notebook.  At one point, it look like Nick was just grinding up behind Jess!  It looked so inappropriate, especially in front of her student.  But it was hilarious how they looked like they were fooling around.

What I didn't like about this story was that rude ass lady Edgar was dating.  Okay, sure, Jess and Nick were breaking and entering, so Jess probably deserved some mace, but she didn't need to call Jess a bitch for asking what was in the duffel bag.  Jess is way too nice because I would have thrown her attitude right back at her.  But Jess is way to sweet to bring it like that.  However, Jess did surprise me a little by attacking Edgar and jumping on his back.  She also said he'd have to kill her if Edgar wanted to kill Nick.  Why do we get to see a disgusting couple like Edgar and old lady, but we don't get to see Nick and Jess except suggestively?  Come on now.

In the other story, I thought it was awkward that Winston kept poking people with his penis so much that his roommates were talking about it behind his back.  I have to agree with Schmidt, though, that if he really wanted to take care of it he could just cover up better:

They make shoes for your penis--they're called pants!

As for Schmidt's pogo, I'm just surprised that with his extensive self-maintenance that he neglects his feet like that.  So he puts so much care into everything about himself but just stops at the feet?  So odd.  I liked that before Schmidt knew he kept pestering Winston with his guesses.  We could have enjoyed more things like him shaving his eyebrows (eww!) if Cece hadn't let the cat out of the bag.  She was sort of unnecessary around the house, except for the fact that she got "impaled" with Winston's friend downstairs.  She was particularly noisy about knowing her own pogo when I just wanted to know what Nick's was.  His turned out to be the best of them all because they don't talk shit about him--they were just concerned:

[Winston] We're worried about you.
[Nick] You're worried about me?
[Schmidt] We're worried you're not going to make it.
[Nick] Make it to what?
[Jess] Just in general.  Cuz you don't take care of yourself.

It had to be embarrassing for Nick, but it was so sweet that they all look after him in ways that he doesn't know about like slipping him vitamins and money.  But it was also funny because it made Nick seem like a big ol' mess, which he most certainly is.

This was a pretty good episode.  It was nice to see that Nick's writing thing is probably going to come up more times than I expected and that he's still writing.  I would even like to see him act out Pepperwood again one day because that guy is pretty funny, even if he's a horrible detective.  I want to see more of Jess and her students because with people like Edgar being in her class, it's gotta bring more good material for stories.  I also liked hearing everyone's pogos, but Nick's was definitely the best.  I'm easily won over by something that both makes me laugh and appreciate that Nick has such good friends watching his back.

Call Him Pop-Pop

New Girl, S02E13

Nick's dad came into town and got Jess involved in a scam to buy a horse and sell its sperm.  Nick got involved with the shady deal, worried that Jess would be bled dry if he left his father alone to do as he pleased.  Schmidt also teamed up with Robby to scheme to get Cece back and the two unexpectedly bonded with each other.

I really liked Nick's dad.  Mostly because he drove Nick crazy.  His appearance also explained a lot of why Nick isn't the most put together adult you would find.  But as Jess commented at the end of the episode, it's really impressive that with a dad who would just roll into town to con some people out of money and not really try to connect with his son on any level, that Nick isn't running the streets operating crooked games or something.  More important than that, Nick, who is usually a little high-strung about less serious things ,was extra strung out with his father around.  I love to see that, so I welcomed Walt's presence.

One of my favorite things that frustrated Nick was that Winston was in love with Walt.  I guess not having a father around himself he sort of adopted Nick's dad as his own.  He even gave him an adorable nickname, "Pop-pop," which Nick absolutely hated.  I really loved each time he would call Walt that and any time that Nick would plead Winston to stop doing that.

It was also funny how Jess was the absolute worst person to be hanging around Walt.  He was playing her like a fiddle and Jess had no clue until she had given him hundreds of dollars on a horse of questionable value.  I sometimes forget how trusting and guillible Jess is until someone comes along to take advantage of her good nature.  My favorite example of her excessive faith in anyone was best illustrated when Nick showed his dad:

[Nick] Dad, she will believe anything.[Jess] That’s not true, Nick.
[Nick] My real name is Jamil.[Jess] It is?
[Nick] No, my name is not Jamil![Jess] Nick, that was not fair.[Nick] It is Nick, you know that![Jess] You told me in confidence.[Nick] How could you think my name was Jamil?

 It's sweet and makes you laugh that someone could be bordering on stupidity with how much they want to trust people at their word.

In the Schmidt story, I expected that I was just going to see him make an ass of himself and make Cece hate him even more, but instead he started a weird friendship with Robby.  I can see how they would bond over their mutual love for Cece (neither of them is probably a great fit for her--they were both dating up).  However, it was ridiculous how they were stalking her and showed up at her house uninvited when Cece was having a family get-together with Pavun and her relatives.  Weirder than that, Schmidt thought an orgy was going on--what??  I think he just had dirty things on his mind from the beginning because he saw Cece in the sari and got excited, which was evident from him trying to describe one of his gross sexual fantasies--eww.  They were lucky that no one ended up kicking their asses for their rude and unwanted appearance.  I think their man-hug made them guess they were more stupid than they were dangerous.

The best thing about Robby and Schmidt getting together was that although Schmidt was dedicated in helping Robby, he made it very clear that he was going to help him to help himself.  He kept talking about smiting him when the time was right.  That was really funny, especially because Robby made it clear he wasn't going to go along with that part, but he didn't mind trusting Schmidt until that day came.  Robby is an amazingly easy-going guy.  If it was me, I'd not join forces with a guy who kept talking about destroying me in the future (but Robby might believe that Schmidt won't win even if he tries, so maybe he's just confident himself).

This was a pretty cute episode.  I liked getting an idea of how Nick's childhood might have been, and why he's been committed to acting like an old man his whole life.  It was really funny to have Walt around to see Winston showing him misplaced affection and Jess eating up any lie that he threw her way.  I'm looking forward to him coming back for another con some day.  Schmidt and Robby are lucky they have each other because neither of them has Cece, that's for sure.  They might want to just concentrate on their friendship rather than getting her back--don't think any plan they would come up with has a shot in hell to work.

Being Black Ain't Bout the Crack

New Girl, S02E12

Jess invited Nick and Angie to a cabin getaway with her and Sam because she was nervous about being alone.  Things got awkward when they started drinking and some misunderstandings occurred.  Schmidt was also worried about Winston denying his real self and tried to make him feel at ease by doing things like taking him to go buy crack, unaware that Winston was just playing him.

I couldn't imagine a worse idea for Jess's romantic weekend than to invite Nick and his wild girlfriend.  It really shows that Jess was desperate not to be alone with Sam in an intimate setting and also how much she needs Nick at her side.  I mean, of course, it would be odd for her to invite any of her other single friends, but still.  I could see her inviting Nick whether Angie was in the picture or not.  I expected something would happen to reveal that Jess and Sam aren't as perfect as she's trying to make them to be (even though, as Sam pointed out, they started off as sex buddies with fake names), but I never thought Angie would think the purpose of them being there was to switch partners.

I'm not too mad at Angie for trying to get with Sam for a second.  I mean, calling in Nick and Angie there was weird to begin with and left things up to interpretation.  Plus, Sam was resisting her even while being drunk out of his mind.  What did make me like Angie a lot less was after having a heart-to-heart with Nick about meeting him halfway and admitting that he cared about her, Angie ran off in the middle of the night.  Really?  Nick didn't even get mad about her trying to jump another man's bones and asked for her not to change for him.  I feel like why should Nick even continue to be decent to women when he gets treated like this?  It's a damn shame.  But maybe Nick shouldn't try to date women with so much baggage.  Nick's not so together himself that he can expect to fix anyone else.

I only found a few funny things in that story, all of them about Nick.  The first was when he was drunk and for some reason complimenting Sam:

If you were a hat, you’d be a top hat.  But like a really big Monopoly one.  And I say that
of the deepest compliments.

I like when Nick has these moments where he's just randomly blurting out whatever comes to his mind.  Usually, though, he's not even drunk.

The second line I liked was at the very end after Nick had eaten some potato salad from the trash along with the remaining absinthe:

 I am gonna poop weird tonight!

That was about the funniest thing in the Jess and Nick story, but the Winston and Schmidt's story supplied the rest of the comedy.  It started off well when Schmidt decided that he was going to be the black friend to Winston that he thought Winston was missing.  I was already laughing when he consulted Nick and Cece about it because Nick's face in response to what Schmidt was saying was hilarious.  It was just screaming that it was a bad idea, but of course, once Schmidt has it in his head, it's going to become reality.

Everything that happened between them pretty much had me laughing from Winston telling Schmidt to take the Rastafarian hat off his head to Winston's ridiculous story about how his family used to enjoy crack next to flaming trash can.  You gotta love that Schmidt didn't think for a second that story was full of crap and instead was sort of moved by it so much that he wanted to find him some crack.

The near end of it was when I was really rolling.  It was funny enough to hear Schmidt use the expression "crack cocaine" so many times, but Schmidt his whole attitude toward the whole transaction was hilarious:

[Schmidt] I suppose we could just get out and ask any of these street youths.

[Winston] I’ll let you get out the car first.  Go ahead, do your thing, man.
[Schmidt] I don’t want to ask the wrong person and end up with I want the fresh crack, you know? Not some crack that’s been laying around all day.

I didn't think that it could get funnier than that until they brought a random stranger in their car.  It was really funny that Robert ended up thinking that Winston and Schmidt were gonna rob him.  I loved hearing them scream like they were being murdered.  It really makes me thankful for Winston who is the kind of guy who would let things get this far before coming clean.  One of the best Schmidt and Winston moments yet.

It's a bit sadder than I imagined that Nick and Angie are over (maybe), but I'm not entirely unhappy about that.  Seeing Nick and Jess in the cabin, it's just clearer and clearer that they would be so magical together.  Certainly more than Jess and Sam, who aren't exactly firing off fireworks in the romance department.  Schmidt is definitely a moron for thinking he had to cater to Winston's "black" side, but at the same time he's proven that he's willing to go beyond and above for a friend even under a very misguided notion.  He might get a little racist and offensive, but you can't question that he loves Winston.  And I love Winston too.  Anyone who can set up a friend to drive to a shady area for some crack as a horrible joke, is a guy I want to see as much of as possible.

Love Is As Real As Black Santa

New Girl, S02E11

Jess got the others to hang out with her at multiple parties, the last night they would be all together before the holidays started.  She unexpectedly ran into Sam at the first party and tried to avoid him while he tried to convince her to take him back.  Nick had a hard time adjusting to Angie's wild and fearless style.  Schmidt and Cece argued about how they had ended things after Schmidt had told her he loved her.  Winston had trouble hearing after he got a cranberry in his ear.

I was just as surprised as Jess to see Sam at the first party the group went to.  I just never thought we'd see him again.  I was a little hopeful for the two because while Sam isn't Nick, he and Jess did make a cute couple.  Also, I felt bad for Jess who put her heart out on the line and got shot down.  It was nice to see Sam pursuing her to the point it almost seemed like stalking her.

My favorite thing about the drama between Sam and Jess was when Jess pretended to be unavailable by using Winston as her new lover:

[Jess] I'm in love.  

[Sam] What?

[Jess] With Winston.

[Sam] What?

[Jess] We've lain together.

[Winston] No, yeah--I mean, I dunno how it happened.  It just got stuck up there so far so quickly.

[Jess] The relationship.

[Winston] You know, sometimes when we're hanging out it can get a little rough.

[Jess] Oh, boy does it.

[Winston] Yeah.

[Sam] Oh, well, I didn't know that, so...

[Winston] What's going on?  I feel like I'm missing something.

 I liked that Sam actually bought that story and confessed to Winston that he thought Winston was his biggest competition with Jess living with three guys.  Apparently "Metrosexual Jones" and "Sweatshirt Guy" didn't intimidate him in the least.  I love how he not only counted out Schmidt and Nick, but gave them those funny nicknames.  Jess might have gotten away with fooling Sam if Winston hadn't realized what was going and did the least convincing breakup speech ever.  He was way too dramatic, as if he was in some kind of ghetto soap opera, and even called her a honkey.  Really, Winston?  But I knew that if Sam had any kind of brains, Winston's little show would definitely tell him that he and Jess were only pretending.

I have no idea why, but when Jess almost got pulled over and was pouring her guts out to this kindly-looking, bearded old man, it was touching when he said that he believed her.  He just told her that sometimes people tell the truth and let her go off.  That guy wasn't Santa Claus, but he was super nice and made Jess believe again.  I think Jess needed some kindness to restore her faith.

The part when the whole gang went to the hospital was sort of dumb, even with them all singing badly so that they could pretend to be a choir.  However, I did like when Angie showed her boobs and Nick had to pull away Schmidt from looking.  Then Winston casually came back for a look and that really made it funny.

I don't know how much I love Nick and Angie together.  I do agree with Jess that she could be good for him, though, because he is a chicken and Angie's bravery might rub off on him.  I did like when he confessed a lot of his flaws to her like being poor, having written a terrible zombie novel, and being obsessed with karate.  His lap dance after that was just embarrassing!  It was like he was about to take a dump on her or something, the way he was pushing out his butt.  But that scene was made better when Schmidt came over to show Angie how it was done and Nick started slapping Schmidt's dumb ass.  I really think that Schmidt would be a dancer if he ever got fired from his job.

Also, when Nick and Angie got exposed making out in the sleigh, Nick shouted out, "This is my nightmare" for the second time.  The last time was when he was being attacked by all the monsters and ghouls in the haunted house.  He has a lot of holiday-related nightmares.

There was a really good line, too, from Nick in this episode after he had insulted Angie about being a stripper and she had stormed off:

Nick Miller, turning lemonade into lemons since 1981.

I am totally going to steal that phrase as my own.  I just have to change the year because I wasn't even born yet.  Haha.

For all the bickering and cold attitude between Cece and Schmidt, I think that they were a lot more civil than they could have been.  Schmidt was really grumpy and a big Scrooge (which that part probably had nothing to do with Cece, though), but Cece was trying her best to be friendly.  She could have been really angry that he seemed to be unreliable when it was most important for her to know that he was serious.  Still, with all of her good will attempts, I think it's weird she would give him a present to thank him for telling her he loved her.  I don't know.  I just don't think that a gift, no matter how thoughtful, will easily mend Schmidt's heart.  But he accepted it because obviously his love for her is true.  I mean, he wouldn't be so hurt about how things had turned out if he didn't.  I'm glad they ended up getting on friendlier terms again, but I'm dying to know what's going to happen with Cece and her arranged partner.  That hasn't been addressed yet, and I hope that it will when the show returns next month.

With all this other drama going on with the couples, it's interesting to me that Winston was the one who was the funniest to me.  As soon as he got that cranberry in his ear and kept talking so damn loud, he had me laughing every time he opened his mouth.  He really started to sound like some old man who had gone deaf in an ear, especially when he had rolled up a piece of paper or something and put it to his ear to hear better.  Winston is usually kind of quiet, so when he raises his voice, it's hilarious.  Also, he kept ruining things for Jess.  First, he basically screamed out her location when she was trying to hide behind Cece and Schmidt, and then he spoke so loud in the closet (or bathroom?) Jess and he were hiding in and revealed her location again.  I really loved that, especially when he was too deaf to realize that Jess was using him as a fake boyfriend.

This was a great episode, especially for a Christmas story.  They managed to fit in Santa without it being corny or unfunny.  It was really cute how they all believed in Santa at that moment and how it helped bring Jess to her senses about giving Sam another chance.  I think that Sam is a decent stand-in for Nick until Jess or Nick realize they're meant for each other.  I'm anxious to see who Cece is going to date (or marry, I guess) in place of accepting Schmidt's love.  I know it will be funny if Schmidt can come between that arrangement somehow.  Nick will probably become a little less chicken if Angie sticks around, but I'm still not over the moon about him being with her.  Winston, as usual, unexpectedly brought me the most laughs.  That cranberry in his ear is one of the best things that could have happened to him.

A Big Tub Of Crazy

New Girl, S02E10

Winston and Jess worked together to sneak a tub on the roof and tried to cover up the damage it caused to Schmidt's suits with fake robberies.  Nick decided to break his rule about crossing the bar to meet a girl he was interested in and got in the middle of her drama.  Schmidt professed his love to Cece and wanted to show her that he was serious about being a relationship with her that involved children.

I'm not surprised that Winston was the one that wanted the tub out of all of the guys.  He has a weird sensitive side about him that differs from the one that Schmidt has.  I am surprised, though, with him being involved in a scheme that he wasn't a little more level-headed than Jess was.  I mean, to agree that they should fake a robbery by meth-heads was a really bad idea that no one should have been on board with.  I guess with Schmidt's precious suits being damaged, Winston just lost his cool and went to Crazytown.  If they had thought of a better idea of explaining why Schmidt's suits disappeared in the first place, they wouldn't have to resort to a fake robbery.  I thought Schmidt was smart, but he didn't really question the robbery at all.  But maybe he was smarter than them because he did have the security camera in his room (although he seemed to use it only for gross purposes).

Winston further surprised me by increasing his freaking-out level to naked man on the roof patio.  I actually loved the flashback when Winston had his first case of the "willies" where he ran out of his car during a driving test.  If I was him, I don't know if I could recover from such an embarrassing end to a test.

Besides that flashback, I also enjoyed seeing Remy again.  He was only there for two brief moments, but each time, he managed to extend the invitation for some 3-way sex.  I love how creepy he is!  He's the best super ever.  

One last thing about this story that stood out to me was Winston being relieved that Jess is as crazy as he is.  Um, hello.  He didn't just meet Jess yesterday.  They're all crazy in that apartment!  They've proven that time and time again.  But I guess Winston just thought she was quirky until she got trapped into a closet and began shrieking inside of it like she was buried alive.  I suppose that's on the level of getting the willies and stripping down to your briefs in a panic.

Nick's story was just full of red flags.  Like, he should have never spoken to Angie in the first place.  But my favorite part of that story was when Mike came looking for Nick and Nick pretended to be named "Ricardo" and was blabbering in Spanish (or something that sounded like Spanish).  That was both a cowardly and funny defensive move for him to make.  Mike did look like someone who didn't mind busting someone's head, so maybe that was the best course of action.

I also liked when Nick was in the middle of Angie and another stripper's fight and he said:

I'm super aroused!  I think I just became a dirtbag!

After all that craziness, I never thought he would see Angie again, but apparently she's going to be around for a little while?  I mean, a kiss doesn't guarantee that he's got a new girlfriend, but it does look good for him.  I'm disappointed that he's not looking Jess's way, but it's not so bad that he has someone to temporarily cuddle with until he gets to his senses.

I'm also disappointed that Schmidt blew it with Cece.  Like Nick said, we all knew that he was in love with her, so him telling Cece so seemed like he had a good shot restoring their relationship.  Especially since Schmidt is ready to have kids immediately.  I can't blame Cece for taking Schmidt's commitment toward her with a grain of salt and cutting him off when he stood her up for dinner to drink with his boss and former sex buddy.  Cece has to start thinking about her future and the way Schmidt is acting, she can't be sure that he's not going to set her up for a future that only exists in a dream.  I didn't like seeing Schmidt so crushed.  He went from calling the bathtub a "medieval flilth couldren" to not giving a damn that Winston and Jess wanted to get one.  I prefer the Schmidt who is happily flipping through a binder of pictures of himself in suits and talking about summer condoms than a heartbroken one.  He's gross, but he has feelings.  I hope that Schmidt gets one last chance to prove himself to Cece before her arranged marriage gets finalized.

This wasn't the funniest episode, but it was still good.  I'd like to see Jess and Winston team up again one day.  They're an unusual pair, but they seem to have some things in common when it comes to their brand of crazy.  Not too thrilled about Nick dating Angie, but it is what it is.  I'm confident that someone who dates a thug like Mike and picks fights with her fellow strippers won't stay in Nick's life for too long.  Schmidt needs to hurry up and make one last grand gesture to get Cece back.  As much as I dislike his sexy talk with Cece, Schmidt and Cece are made for each other, and I can't stand to watch Cece end up with someone she doesn't love.

Ticking Clock

New Girl, S02E09

Jess decided to find out how many eggs she had left after her friend Sadie suggested that her age was putting her at a huge disadvantage to get pregnant.  Nick tried to finish his zombie novel, but was procrastinating at the zoo and interrupting Winston's sleep.  Schmidt failed to satisfy his boss in bed.

This episode wasn't as much funny as it was a little sad.  You had Jess freaking out about not being able to have any good eggs left by the time she met someone she loved to father her child, Nick wandering around drunk at a zoo in an attempt to live the life of a writer, and Schmidt defeated in the place he's most confident about--the bedroom.  You even had to feel a little bad for Winston because he was just trying to get to sleep and Nick kept bugging him with his novel (although, I think he just needed the support from Winston).  I just kept hoping there would be a little ray of hope at the end for them all (not so much Schmidt, though).

It was good that Jess ended up being a better egg producer than she feared, but it was sad that Cece found out that she was on a much shorter clock than her friend.  And when she talked to Robbie about having kids, he was imagining it a decade away.  Wow.  Ten years??  How old is Robbie?  Or is that just a guy thing and they just don't really feel the pressure to hurry up and have children like women do?  Man, I felt even worse for Cece at that point.  I mean, I don't really love the idea of her even having kids with Robbie, but to hear that he wasn't thinking about kids any time soon at all was disappointing.  It also made me think that if she were still with Schmidt, he'd probably jump at the idea to have her child.  I mean, he was so gun-ho when the two of them had that scare last season.  Also, he was the first to volunteer his sperm to Jess (barf!).  I'd hate to see Cece miss out on motherhood if it's something she really wanted, even if it meant that there would be a Schmidt baby running around.  I think after a while Cece's happiness would outweigh the ick factor of the father.

Nick was kinda funny with his inability to write, but not so much that I laughed aloud.  I think his funniest moment was when Jess came into his room while waiting for Winston to finish reading his novel and he jokingly (maybe?) told her that he knew she would pick him to father her baby.  I also liked that Jess played along with him for a moment and mocked trying to kiss him.  Those two are so cute...  But I was a little disappointed that his process of writing a horrible zombie novel wasn't funnier.  It felt like all the pieces were there, but it didn't really come together.  It was a little funny when Winston was reading a some of it.  I would have liked to hear him read more in that voice of his.

Winston's other almost funny moment was when he suggested that he would be the best father for Jess' baby on the grounds of the best looking features.  I never imagined that Winston would jump in there and offer to get her pregnant, but I guess it was slightly an opportunity to brag about how handsome he was, so it didn't seem too odd.  Plus, all the guys have admitted that they have thought about sex with Jess before, so it's not that crazy.  Although, sex and a baby are two different things.

This episode definitely could have been funnier.  It was a little more serious than I wanted it to be.  I think that now that Schmidt has realized the depths of his love for Cece and Cece is more conscious of her baby clock, the chances of them getting back together is a little higher than before.  I don't know if Jess will get more serious about finding the right guy, but I wish that she could see that Nick could be that guy.  There were little hints of their attraction, as always, but I want another episode where the two of them have to really explore their feelings for each other and do something about it already.

Best Parent Trap Since Parent Trap

New Girl, S02E08

Jess' parents joined her and her friends for Thanksgiving, and she tried one last time to get them back together.  Schmidt fought with his cousin in a manly competition made by Winston for the right to be the true "Schmidt."

Um, I feel like this episode just kept getting better and better.  I had an easy time ignoring what Schmidt and cousin were doing for the most part because Jess' scheme and Nick's role in it was just so wonderfully funny.  I didn't expect that I was going to love the story of Jess' parents making their first appearance but Jamie Lee Curtis and Rob Reiner completely drew me in and had me wishing they could be around for every holiday.  My favorite moment with her parents was when there was a flashback of one of Jess' many attempts to parent trap her parents.  She made them think she was in danger so she could lock them in a room with romantic music.  I loved Bob's response:

Oh, damn it, Jess, that’s the second time today.

I cannot believe that she tried that many times to get her parents back together and was still trying to do so as a grown woman.  It was adorably naive, but not at all out of character for Jess.  It's amazing that her parents haven't given up listening to anything she says when she's been scheming for so long.  I would have always assumed that Jess was doing another parent trap any time both of her parents were involved in anything.

Probably my favorite thing in this story was that Nick revealed that he was a younger version of Jess' dad.  I laughed when she hinted that they would get along:

Nick, you’re gonna love my dad so much.  He’s so unhappy.

But I had no idea that when Bob and Nick were sitting on the couch talking sports that it would be like looking at Nick's future.  Their similarity wasn't just funny, but it also sort of gave another reason why Jess probably likes Nick in the first place.  It's not uncommon for girls to sort of like a man that reminds them of their father a little bit, and Nick certainly fits that category.

There was another indication that Nick probably likes Jess more than he even knows because Nick was getting crazily attracted to Joan within just a few minutes of pretending to flirt with her.  When Nick couldn't stop himself from sort of hitting on Jess' mother, I was laughing so hard.  It was definitely my second favorite part of the story.  It was a little weird, but I easily got past it thinking that Nick likes that kind of woman, which is roughly the same kind of woman that Jess is.  Plus, it was just cute to see him sort of falling for an older lady.  If I didn't like Jess the best, I would have said that Nick should have gone for Joan.

Lastly, I like that they poked a little fun at Twilight.  I mean, Nick basically created the same story without having any idea that it had already been made with vampires.  So to me, that doesn't say much about the complexity of Twilight if a moron like Nick can write the same thing.  I just love that Bob was there to tell him that his story had already been done (and it's so like Nick to not have heard of Twilight at all, but weird that he would enjoy writing such a romantic story).

The Schmidt versus Schmidt story was kind of dumb, but it had its good moments.  All of those were about Winston.  It was kinda funny that the last battle came down to kissing Winston, but I liked best when Winston had them doing a wheelbarrow:

[Cousin] All day. I can do this all day, Winston.
[Schmidt] I got all day, too!
[Winston] Hey, how long can you do this for?
[Cousin] I can do this all day!
[Schmidt] Yeah, I got all day, too!
[Cousin] Winston!
[Winston] Why are you yelling at me?

I don't know why but when they were yelling his name is was really funny.  Later, I liked how when emotions were bubbling over with Jess thinking her parent trap had finally worked when it hadn't and all the other issues at the table, Winston was the only one concentrating on the untouched dinner:

When can we start eating?

And somehow that was just as funny as when he very softly called out:

Turkey.

I just liked that he was so calmly, but sadly calling out to the food that Jess was angrily tossing into the sink.  It was kinda cute.


I don't think I would have changed anything in this episode--it's definitely in my list of favorites of all time.  It's certainly one of the best Thanksgiving stories that I've seen on TV lately.  I like that there was some hints of why Jess and Nick would make a great couple as well as plenty of laughs.  There was little food shown, but I don't mind that at all.  Seeing this sort of makes me hate the holidays a little less.

Nick, The Old Man, And The Pool

New Girl, S02E07

Schmidt turned off the gas in order to motivate Jess to get a job, but she bombed an interview due to what she thought was just PMS.  Nick started to find inner peace when he met a stranger in the park who took him to a relaxation pool.  Schmidt was offered to have kinky sex with a coworker and also consulted with Cece about whether she was a nice girl.  Winston felt like he was having sympathy PMS from Jess.

I didn't agree with Schmidt's methods of motivating Jess, but I guess it's not out of his character to be a jerk (in fact, we expect it out of him).  However, I was more inclined to agree with Schmidt that she needed to get a job when she was playing the period card as excuse why she couldn't get hired.  I don't believe women should so easily use things like PMS to excuse why they're acting amiss.  It's a difficult card to play and should only be used when extremely appropriate and Jess was basically trying to hide her depression and lowered self-value (and lashing out at her roommates unjustly).  I'm glad that Nick opened her eyes to this fact and after her pretty funny failure of an interview (where she was sobbing over a cat in a cup that had died), he encouraged her to try again.  The "new" Nick was really the one to credit in her being employed again.

The best thing about this episode was no question Nick meeting an old man in the park and having this sort of deep conversation with him while the man said nothing.  Simply writing down what Nick said doesn't even begin to do justice to how hilarious this scene was, so I included a clip:

It was almost like he had an imaginary friend he was talking with because the old man didn't say a word to him until much, much later (and then nothing after that again).  Nick really brought his A game to this story when the rest weren't really doing anything for me comedy-wise.  I also loved when Nick and his new best friend went to the pool and he gave him this really awkward massage in the water or something.  That was really good.  I'm not sure why Nick thought that after only one experience in the pool he was capable of performing that technique on Jess (which was even more awkward), but I loved it because it was a disaster.  Nick got another chance to perform the massage on Winston and it was no more successful or less clumsy.  I'm glad they ended the episode with them all at the pool again because it was the heart of the episode for me.

It was a little weird that Winston thought he was having PMS too, but I wish it hadn't been because he missed Shelby.  I guess technically he should be distraught, but from my perspective I couldn't imagine thinking about her crazy ass again.  Like, the relationship needed to be gone.  But I guess being single just doesn't sit well with Winston, regardless of how appropriate his breakup was.

The only thing I can say about Schmidt's story was how proud I was that Cece didn't just slip back into the twisted world of Schmidt again.  They will always have this connection, but I just think she could do better than him.  Also, I just don't want to hear them being nasty again because it's just a little too much to stomach.  However, it does let me know that Cece probably isn't going to be with Robby much longer if she can kiss Schmidt again for even a second.  She's gonna be tempted because whether she thinks so or not, she's not a nice girl.

I'm not sure if I'm too excited about Jess' new job.  I hope that she does have some kind of interesting tales from it or meets someone from having it.  Otherwise, it just prevents her from moping around the house from now on.  Nick, as usual, is continuing on his crazy journey to bettering himself that I am loving intensely.  Just when I think he can't be any weirder, he finds a new outlet and I'm rolling.  Can't imagine what else Nick has in store for this show.

The Truth Packs A Punch

New Girl, S02E06

Jess learned more about Sam and wanted to have a real relationship with him once she developed feelings for him.  Winston hoped that dressing up sexy for Halloween would put the spark back between him and Shelby.  Schmidt tried to create a wedge between Robbie and Cece.  Nick's old flame Amelia came to town and he finally made the moves on her.

I don't remember if they did a Halloween story last year, but I didn't really love this one.  It was an important episode because everyone seemed to stop playing around and tell the truth about some of their current romances.  I'm glad that the air has been cleared so that the gang can move on.

I feel like Jess coming clean about liking Sam for real (though that was no shock because she wears her heart on her sleeve) was the saddest.  He seemed like a great guy who loves kids and would mesh well with Jess, but he just wasn't looking for the same thing she was.  I have no doubt that she can do better than him, but you felt like there was some potential there.  However, at least it frees her up for Nick who is still dragging his feet about his feelings for her.

This episode proved that Nick has always been this way about liking someone.  He had practically done everything under the sun to show that he was in love with Amelia in the past except come out and profess his love for her (or simply just ask her out on a date).  Luckily, with Amelia's subpar kissing techniques Nick probably dodged a bullet not immediately hooking up with her.  But at least he let her know about that, even if he paid the price with a slap.

Jess also seemed to pay the price for Nick's actions when he punched her in the face.  That wasn't as half funny as Nick getting beat up by Jess' fellow haunted house workers who made that experience Nick's "worst nightmare."  But I loved that Nick would overcome his fear of haunted houses to try to warn Jess not to ask Sam to be in a real relationship.  I was cracking up when he kept screaming when this scary clown kept getting in his face.  Somehow it doesn't surprise me that Nick has bad nerves like that.  I mean, he is a little simple-minded and probably believes that monsters exist (but is one of those people who pretends he doesn't).

Besides wanting to cheer for Nick getting kicked to the curb by Amelia, the best honesty was between Winston and Shelby.  Not because it was funny, but because it was necessary.  Maybe Winston's cop outfit wasn't the sexiest thing he could wear, but at least he didn't dress like a demented middle-aged woman who has a stuffed animal obsession and still thinks she's a princess.  I already hate puns, but Shelby's "reigning cats and dogs," just took the cake.  I wished that Winston had the authority to lock her up in his cop outfit.  Couldn't be happier that he finally had enough and ended it with her crazy ass.  I'm also glad they showed us just how nuts she was before Winston ended so I don't feel any regrets he's single again.  "Emancipation," indeed, Schmidt.

Schmidt was acting a-fool around Cece and Robbie, but at least he sort of decided to stop acting like a dick.  I'm glad that Robbie is smart and strong enough to stop Schmidt from headbutting him (what, is he a caveman??).  Also, he's just an all-around nice guy who offered Schmidt friendship instead of pointless rivalry.  However, I'm not convinced that Schmidt will completely back off.  I also didn't care too much for his Magic Mike costume.  Though, it was slightly better than him dressing as young Abraham Lincoln.  Of all things that he could dress up as and he picks that.  But I suppose it's better than Nick's (which I have no idea who the hell Arthur is, but what a lazy costume).

There weren't really any great lines from this episode, so that's a little disappointing, but it wasn't terrible.  I would have liked to see them in funnier costumes, perhaps.  They were just in outfits that made me want to shrug.  I loved that the truth came out and there was some punching involved (gotta love that Jess got to get Nick back in the end too).  Looking forward to seeing what everyone's next romantic journey will be.

Nick And Jess: Bad Friends

New Girl, S02E05

Jess went out with Cece for her birthday with her model friends and insulted Cece.  Schmidt bought Nick a cookie and was hurt that Nick didn't think about him sometimes.

The two stories where Jess and Nick acted like asses to their best friends wasn't bad, but it wasn't too funny.  I suppose it just interesting to see how little Jess valued Cece as a model and how little Nick valued all the things Schmidt does for him without asking.  I wasn't too surprised that Jess couldn't handle a night out with the models without putting someone down (she's shown us several times that she has ridiculously high standards sometimes), but I was surprised that Schmidt didn't already know that Nick displays emotion as often as a mop does.

With that being said, I didn't like Jess' story as much as Nick's.  I can't even think what would be my favorite part of that story because even when she was struggling to stand on the spinning platform for the model gig, I was just cringing at her awkwardness instead of laughing at it.  I guess I just liked that she finally recognized that Cece isn't just an airhead or shallow because she has befriended her model coworkers.  I don't know how Jess even gets on a high horse at any given time, considering how much of a consistent mess she is.

Now onto the slightly better story with Nick.  Of course, I agree that Schmidt should have spoken out about Nick neglecting him, but I couldn't believe how much he was pouting and bitching about it!  But I wasn't too bothered by him because Winston stepped in to take his side and was doing his own version of pouting as well.  I was just disappointed that Winston didn't take it to Schmidt's level because it would have been funnier than Schmidt doing it.  I mean, Schmidt started crying because Nick takes him for granted.  Really?

But my all time favorite moment of this episode was when Nick tried to repair the damage he had done (over the years, I suppose) by getting Schmidt a cookie.  I had a strange mixture of sympathy and ridicule for him after Schmidt told him that his cookie present was terrible:

All these tears from getting a cookie!  Nick was so adorable!  I never thought he would break down like that.  Way to save this episode, Nick.

Oh, and I did like seeing how Nick and Schmidt met for the first time.  It was so bizarre how they just kinda clicked even though Schmidt was just sitting in his room eating ramen for no reason.  Like their friendship was meant to be--they're both weirdos.

Next time I just hope there is a little less man love being thrown around.  I felt like they were almost acting like teenage girls, it was so emotional (inappropriately so--it was a damn cookie).  I'd rather them being doing something else crazy that doesn't involve their feelings and such.  And as for Jess, I want to get back to see what she's doing for employment.  I'd really like to see her teaching some unpleasant kids again.  That would definitely be good for some laughs.

Everybody Hates Schmidt

New Girl, S02E04

Jess began to hang out with some kids that had just moved in, but didn't seem to like Schmidt because he was too old.  Winston worried about not having very long left to live.  Nick became obsessed with pranking Schmidt, especially in making him feel like he was getting older by the second.

It's funny what manages to ruffle Winston's feathers, and this time it was Schmidt's actuarial.  I mean, he really took that thing to heart, despite he thought at first it told him he should have died about 4 years ago.  Of the 3 guys, I would guess that Winston would live the longest because Nick both fails to take care of himself and is prone to stupid decisions, while Schmidt just seems like someone who would end up being stabbed or shot one day.  Still, I guess Winston freaking out about his life running short did inspire him to not so very eloquently demand that he be given a promotion at work.  Although he has his own show, it's at a graveyard time slot, so it's almost a non-promotion, but hey, he's at least taking a step forward.  I think that will end up being a very interesting new job for him.

Nick, on the other hand, was letting his insanity sink him further into debt because he wasted over a grand playing pranks on Schmidt!  What the hell??  One of the most elaborate was when Schmidt noticed that his height line was higher than his current height.  I was shocked at the detail he put into that when he explained it to Jess:

I took a photo of the wall, shrunk it down, made a copy at an architect’s office.  From there, it was just your basic spackle-and-silkscreen job.

Seriously??  I've never seen Nick put so much energy and work into something, and when he does it has to be something spiteful.  He is so crazy!  And Winston is also crazy because he doesn't know how to prank adequately.  I don't which is funnier:  the fact that he goes too small (like sprinkling dust near Schmidt's car) or goes too big (hitting people with skis or throwing acid on them).  I'm actually a lot more concerned about Winston attempting a prank than Nick.  Nick will bankrupt himself playing his tricks, but Winston is likely to kill you.

Finally, in the Jess and Schmidt story, it was a treat to see those kids looking upon Schmidt like an unwanted growth.  But I think when Schmidt first caught on that he was hated and had to pretend he had work so he could refuse the kids' invitation to hang, I did feel bad for him.  No one wants to be the unpopular guy, so I couldn't help but want Schmidt to somehow win them over.  But it was pretty funny in general watching Jess being treated like the coolest person in the world, while Schmidt, with all of his bad slang and nonsense hype, got nowhere.  I also loved when Nick said that nothing about Schmidt being hated was new:

If I had a dollar for everybody I couldn’t hang out with because they hated Schmidt, I’d be rich.  Like, fill my gas tank all the way up rich.

I wasn't too surprised that even when Jess tried to help him that Schmidt still failed because he was just trying too hard.  But what I really liked is that Jess came clean about stealing catchphrases from 80s sitcoms and realized that she wasn't really identifying with those kids, but had already grown as a person beyond them.  But the kids still liked her and wanted to hang with her.  Aww.  I like when people like Jess because she is sweet and fun, but sometimes people don't like her because she does things her own way and is overly awkward in the most simple situations (and is the victim of bad luck).  It really shows that interacting with younger people is what she was born to do.

 This was a great episode.  I wonder if Jess will continue to see her new neighbors every now and then--I think they could add a little more crazy situations in their apartment building.  I'm pretty sure Winston's little show is going to make his job even more interesting or probably make him go insane with the strange work hours.  Don't really care what happens with Schmidt right now, but I'd like to see Nick not do anything else to throw the money he doesn't have away.  Nick would be living in an alley right now if he didn't have his friends.

Nick, The Boyfriend With No Rewards

New Girl, S02E02

Jess needed help maintaining her sex-only relationship with Sam, so Schmidt suggest the guys take her out to give her some pointers, but Schmidt ditches the dinner with Winston so they can go to a club where Kanye West supposedly was at.  Nick and Jess got closer after the dinner, and Jess started to emotionally lean on Nick so that she could be motivated to have sex with Sam.

What I loved about this episode was that it pointed out again the sexual chemistry that exists between Nick and Jess, and it sort of showed what it might be like if they were dating (at least at the emotional level).  What started off as an awkward and drunk dinner to themselves, transformed them into a new level of friendship where Nick had no problems going off with Jess all day to Ikea.  I never expected that to happen.  I mean, they clearly have chemistry, but usually it fizzles right after they pretty much catch themselves crossing that line from friendship into something else.  So it was pretty exciting to see Jess and Nick sort of being a couple, even though she was just using Nick as her emotional boyfriend.  It was weird, for sure, that she had to do boyfriend things with Nick before she could get in the mood to have sex with Sam, but I didn't mind because it was so funny to see Nick going along with Jess' wishes as if he were already a whipped man, yet not getting the "rewards."  I was pretty annoyed when Winston spoiled it by telling Nick that he was basically her "emotional fluffer" and to stop doing anything beyond what he considered a friend would do.

But luckily, Nick hated being told what to do and was fine doing things like building her furniture for her.  What was even better than that was Nick admitted that he is sometimes attracted to Jess!  We all knew it, but I liked hearing him say it.  I really think this has moved their relationship significantly forward.  But one thing that was bizarre was that Nick was dancing to the "sexy mix" he had given Jess to get her in the mood for Sam (instead of relying on him).  I mean, he should know what she was doing to that music, yet that's a cause to dance?  He's so weird!  But I love it.

I don't have much to say about Schmidt's story.  It was pretty stupid.  But Winston's story about being sexually frustrated with Shelby was a little interesting.  Not the part where he was being kinda gross and fantasizing about every woman that he came in contact with (even Jess and Cece), but when Shelby claimed they had a "big fight," and Winston commented that they barely even talked.  What is going on there?  I didn't know Shelby was so crazy.  Or either she's just bored with him or something.  I doubt that Winston could do better, but he needs to take some action before he's stuck with a girl who's gotten a little too comfortable with him.  I mean, they're watching more TV together than doing anything intimate.

Most of the best lines, I think, came from when Jess and Nick were at the restaurant, but the one that stands out the most is one of Nick's (him calling her a "loft troll came as a close second):

This place is fancy and I don’t know which fork to stab myself with.

I really hope that there will be more opportunities for Nick and Jess to have dinner together because they are a disaster, but such a fun disaster.  Schmidt needs to return to being funny because lately he's been kind of off (possibly a side effect of not being with Cece).  Winston possibly needs to stop dating Shelby before one of those fantasies in his head becomes a reality (which may not be the worst thing if he's never gonna get some from his own girlfriend).   I, of course, just want to see what Nick and Jess will do next to torture us while we watch them like each other but resist taking it to that next level.

Nick From The Future

New Girl, S02E02

Jess embraced her freedom from employment by creating a few new identities that she used to hook up with a couple different guys.  Nick met a man who claimed to be him from the future.  Schmidt tried to get into the pants of Winston's sister while she and her mother were visiting.

This episode wasn't quite as funny as the first one, but it was still pretty good.  Schmidt and Winston's story was just as about entertaining as Jess pretending to be someone she wasn't all for the sake of what she thought were some no-strings attached hook-ups.  Those weren't horrible stories, but Nick thinking that a random man at his bar was Future Nick was the funniest of them all.

What I liked best about the Schmidt and Winston story was when Schmidt was bragging to Winston how he was going to do disgusting things to his sister and had no idea that Winston's mother was standing in the room.  But points to Schmidt for still being Schmidt and not letting it deter him in the least and hugging Mama Winston right there.  I loved her reaction to that.

[Winston's mother] You gonna take care of this?

[Winston] He's dead to me.

Thankfully, because I think it's creepy for Schmidt to go after Winston's sister, nothing really came out of his advances (so far, I guess).  As far as Jess' story went, all of her lies came crashing down when all of the guys interested in her came together in one bathroom (and you can kinda include Nick in that category as well).  I didn't mind her pretending for the sake of getting some, but what was annoying was that Nick thought that Jess was interested in Bearclaw.  Ugh!  Seriously, Nick??  But it was funny that Nick was so into Bearclaw, in a way, that he was trying to comfort the guy after he found Jess making out with another guy in a bathroom stall.  Nick is such a mess that it distracted me from the mess that Jess was currently in.  However, it was nice that the guy she pretended to meet online was still interested in at least sleeping with her.  A win is a win.  And with her being jobless at the moment, that's better than nothing.

Oh, but I did love at the beginning where Jess showed them a portrait she had done of the guys.  That was creepy in a humorous way, mostly because they guys looked so friendly and happy to be with each other in the picture.  I couldn't even imagine those guys posing for a picture like that unless they were all drunk or high.  It's too bad they all hated it because I think it adds to their apartment, which doesn't have that much style to begin with.

The best thing about the Nick story was simply that the old man was able to convince Nick (as stupid as he is in the first place) that he was really himself from the future.  I mean, what kind of person does that?  Who has the time to stalk someone and then claim to be an older version of them?  Obviously, since the man ran outside to a cardboard-made time machine, he was out of his mind, but the man had a clear understanding of Nick beyond what any stranger should have been able to have.  Then again, maybe it just suggests that Nick's personality is pretty close to one of a mentally disturbed homeless man.  If anything, I think it should make Nick take a hard look at himself and think about ways for improvement again.

I think it was also funny that even I was starting to believe that the guy was Nick from the future (even though it's not that kind of scifi show) when he was able to argue such compelling evidence:

[Future Nick] Well, I know you didn't shower this morning.
[Nick] Good guess--it's a Wednesday.

Then it was strange that Nick found felt like he could see why he wasn't the best conversationalist:

[Future Nick] Hey, tell her you’re sorry.
[Nick] What for?
[Future Nick] You’ll find out.
[Nick] I mean, I’m sure I did something stupid,but what did I do?
[Future Nick] You just tell her you’re sorry.
[Nick] What did I do?
[Future Nick] You did something stupid.  So tell her you’re sorry.
[Nick] Now I know why people get annoyed with me.  It’s hard to talk to us.

I'm almost a little disappointed that he didn't turn out to be Future Nick, but he was nonetheless wise in the case of dealing with Jess.  He might have been crazy, but I think his brand of crazy responded well to Nick's and that's why he was able to give him advice.  I wonder if he'll ever show up again?  I liked that he played with Nick's mind a little bit.

I liked this episode, but I'm about ready for Jess to get herself a new job already.  Realistically, it shouldn't happen with the snap of the fingers, but this is television, so I can expect things to move a little quicker than real life.  I'd love to see more things where Nick is being fooled by obvious lies like a future version of himself coming to see him.  It reinforces that sort of innocent side that Nick has despite his pretty cynical view of the world.  What I wouldn't like to see is Schmidt get anywhere with Winston's sister.  It was hard enough to stomach him doing Cece--I'd prefer his conquests to be more random girls I couldn't possibly care about one way or the other.

Winston Loves Fruity Drinks

New Girl, S02E01

Nick, Winston, Schmidt and Jess returned Tuesday night back in full comedy action!  Jess was fired from her job and did her best to hide how much it devastated her.  Schmidt threw a rebranding party to celebrate the removal of his penis cast.

This was a great episode to start things off.  I was just glad to see things back to normal (after Nick almost left the group last season) with everyone acting crazy.  Of course, with Jess losing her job it seemed that this event might mess up their whole dynamic, but really it's all about Jess acting a-fool in the most awkward way, and she had no problems doing that while unemployed.  My favorite thing, actually, about her getting fired is when she selected a tiny silver glitter hat from the lost and found box.  Nick hated it and tossed it away at one time, but Jess brought it back when she was attempting to do a sexy shot-girl dance toward the end.  But it was nice to see that she didn't give up on being a teacher.  I think that her childlike qualities and weirdness are best suited for dealing with kids, so I wouldn't want to see Jess in a different occupation.  Hopefully she can just get another education-related job, preferably one that causes more situations like that hilarious science fair fiasco from last season.

The best thing about the episode had to do with Winston, although Schmidt's fire dancing that he couldn't quite control wasn't bad either.  Before the party where we saw Winston acting crazy over some fruity drink, there was a good quote between him and Schmidt:

[Winston] I'm a changed man.  I mean, look at me--I'm wearing a suit.
[Schmidt] A suit?  Please, that's something they put on Morgan Freeman when they let him out of Shawshank.

But that was nothing compared to Winston from the first time he took a sip from Nick's special fruity drink.  I don't know if you want to call it drunk or if a special switch had been turned on inside him, but Winston was acting as fruity as the drink he was inhaling at that party.  Nick warned us beforehand that Winston was going to get weird, but he went beyond what I even expected--it was so funny!  Him talking about being "naughty" and his facial expressions just killed me.  I think that Winston sometimes ends up being the funniest now because he's the one who usually stands in the background around all the crazy doings of his roommates, so when he actually falls out of line and starts "joining the party," it tends to be so freaking funny.  My only complaint was that the focus was so much on Schmidt and Cece and Jess' unemployment that there wasn't so much time to see Winston under the spell of his most favorite cocktail.  However, I can't be too mad because there was this great scene where Winston stared at Schmidt's fire dancing while twisting a straw in his mouth:

This was probably one of the best Winston scenes of all time and it was in the first episode!  It's times like this that I can't believe that I didn't like Winston at all.  He's the wildcard on the show, where everyone is pretty unstable to begin with.

This episode would have been fine to start with on its own, but FOX gave us a bonus episode last week to enjoy as well!  But this one was good enough that I couldn't possibly be unsatisfied whether the next one was just as good or not!  It's great to have New Girl back on the air again!