Archer The Chef

Archer, S04E07

ISIS was employed to work undercover at Seize restaurant, but they had no idea what kind of threat they were supposed to be watching for.  Their cover was also compromised by the filming of the reality show Bastard Chef.  Archer began to follow the example of Chef Casteau, and thought that his true calling might have been cooking instead of spying.  Lana tried to bite her tongue at the chef's harsh treatment of her and kept investigating why they had been tasked to do security on the restaurant, while the others fumbled around in the kitchen.  Mallory bullied Carol and Pam into getting her a reservation at Seize and took Pam's fish hostage until they got her what she wanted.

I think my favorite thing about this story was that Archer was starting to fit in really nicely at Seize and cooking food that the hardass Casteau seemd to approve of.  It's always interesting to see Archer exhibit skills outside of his spy set.  I wouldn't have guessed that someone who probably has little experience cooking would be able to make anything remotely delicious, but Archer could.  Plus, his tendency to order people around and be a general bastard suited well for a sous chef who has to keep on top of others in the kitchen to get dishes out quickly and correctly.  The ambassador of Albania even complimented him on the dish he made from his home country before he died, making Archer's role look less like a cover and more like his true calling.  However, thanks to Castuea being in league with the KGB, he took away Archer's confidence as quickly as he had gained it.  Guess Archer will still remain a spy.

I also liked that the fake threat that Mallory had used to get them inside of Seize turned out to be real and Casteau was the culprit.  I didn't expect to see Barry and Katya in this story, so that was a nice suprise at the end.  I'm really starting to like Katya because she has Barry on lock and key now.  One little comment from her and she can shut his mouth and ruin his fun.  Plus, she threw Casteau out of the helicopter without thinking twice.  Once again, it's really fortune for Archer that she's not out to kill him because she's just as ruthless as Barry is.

It was messed up that Mallory made them waste their time at Seize under the pretenses of a security threat and a possible future employment with the government.  Forget that KGB wanted them to look foolish--Mallory's doing a great job of that on her own.  It makes me wonder what the hell she's trying to do.  She makes her employees look more like her personal assistants rather than talented and dangerous spies.  I'm just glad Lana figured it out because Mallory might have gotten away with it.

I didn't like that Carol had to give Rodney a hand job to find out the number for Seize.  Not really because it was beneath her (she has some twisted sexual preferences), but because it was just a gross exchange in general.  We didn't get to see everything she did, but we had to hear Rodney enjoying it and see his face.  Eww.  And Pam was just standing there watching.  Geez.  At least give them some privacy while you whore out your coworker.

I liked this episode.  It was a nice change of pace to see Archer cooking skillfully instead of murdering people with ease.  Someone did end up dying, but that was just thanks to Katya's excellent plan to use Casteau for her own purposes.  I just wish that Archer could continue to pursue this hidden talent of his.  Even an asshole like him could be beloved if he could compensate for his personality by making delicious food.  Mallory, as the owner of ISIS, needs to get it together.  Either she's going to employ her spies to do something they've been trained to do or she should demote them to being her gophers.  If she's not careful enough they'll probably get destroyed by the KGB before they even know it.   I'd almost like to see that if it'll encourage them to get back to a semi-legit organization again.

A Journey Through Archer's Past

Archer, S04E06

Archer's snakebite caused him to have a dream where he was ushered through his memories by James Mason.  While Roy and Cyril were trying their best to get to safety and get him an antidote, Archer drew closer and closer to uncovering the mystery of who his father was.  Back at ISIS, Lana kept pestering Mallory about her being left out of the mission the boys were on.  Lana was taken back when Carol accurately diagnosed the reason why Lana chooses to stay with ISIS, despite all of her moral issues with their missions.

With the way Archer had prepared for their mission, like wanting to use the map as toilet paper and leaving behind a compass, I don't think that they would have succeeded even if Archer hadn't gotten bit by a snake.  It was sort of poetic justice that he did because he kept doing things to screw over Cyril and Ray at every turn, while not doing anything to improve their situation.  The snake's poison just did what his teammates were thinking every second they were with him.

It's interesting to note that Archer has killing Cyril on his bucket list of things.  Of all things he wants to do before he dies, his second most wanted thing is to see Cyril end his life.  I didn't know that he hated him so much.  Cyril and Archer might not be besties, but does he really have to wish him dead?  I wonder if it's just about how he came between him and Lana (not really because Archer screwed that up pretty badly himself).

The dream that Archer experienced while slowly heading toward death was the most interesting part of the story.  He met James Mason in this smoky place that seemed to be limbo, essentially, and he showed Archer a pivotal point in his life where a stalker shot him and cost him his future as a college lacrosse player.  That was a pretty disturbing scene seeing Archer getting shot by this demented woman.  It was really unexplainable and looked traumatic.  I wonder if there was ever a moment in Archer's life that was pleasant.  No wonder he didn't want Mason to show him anything about himself.

What I really loved was when Archer had to relive the moment where he was shot as teenager and he reminded Mason that he hadn't signed up for this journey through his past:

Yeah, so, I don't know if you're deaf or an asshole or both, but I'm pretty sure I said I didn't want to see this.

I liked that Mason didn't seem to listen to any of Archer's objections, nor really be listening to him in general.  I really wonder what part of Archer's mind created him as a guide.

I also liked when Archer saw himself as a little boy, who still loved alligators (that's a little shocking).  He was alone on his birthday and a strange man brought him a stuffed alligator.  Apparently it was his father!  We didn't get to see his face, nor did Archer remember him once he awoke, but it brought us closer to that mystery than we have been before.  Archer might be able to rack his brain and recall that memory once again.  After all, he has to have it somewhere in his subconscious.

Besides Archer's death visions, I liked when Cyril was trying to communicate that Archer had been bitten by a snake.  However, the word for "snake" was the same for a few other words that the soldiers (or whatever they were) kept mistaking it for.  Ray's frustration at this gave me a good laugh:

How's it the same word for bread and snake and Friday and that damn dog?!

Sounds like a pretty damn confusing language, if you ask me.  Then again, if you learn any language long enough, you'll find something that doesn't quite make sense to you.

I didn't really like what was going on back at ISIS.  I felt kind of bad that Carol (or whatever her name is) could see right through Lana like that.  And what she saw was pretty depressing.  I can't disagree with her analysis, though.  Lana does raise a lot of objections, but she ends up doing things she doesn't agree with all the time.  I think that her love for espionage will tether her to ISIS no matter what sort of horrible things they get involved with.  Lana will hate herself for it, but she won't be able to walk away either.  That's just like Carol to see the darkest part of someone's soul.  She's so damn twisted.

This was a pretty good episode.  I really like seeing into Archer's past, even though it wasn't anything pleasant.  I don't ever expect to see anything good concerning how he became the Archer he is today, anyway.  There's no way he could have had a great childhood with the way his mother is and how he turned out to be.  I just wonder if he'll try to figure out who his father is again, knowing that he had that memory in his head.  I don't know how important that still is to Archer.  As far as Lana is concerned, I wonder if she'll try to find something beyond her job to fill her life.  It'd be really sad if she ended up in such a depressing fate as Carol had predicted.

Shut It, Carol!

2 Broke Girls, S02E12

The girls were having trouble paying rent so Max was selling cupcakes to some potheads who needed snacks.  They upgraded into selling pot cupcakes and were surprised when they met Andy at their delivery site.

Of course, Caroline wouldn't be cool with Max selling cupcakes to people who are getting high, but if you think about it, when they sell cupcakes to anyone, they might be taking them home and enjoying them as a snack with their pot.  Caroline was being her usual annoying self, getting in the way of Max's profitable idea.  I mean, they didn't have much choice doing something a little shady when Caroline had too much pride to borrow money from Andy.  I was like, seriously?  You're going to be that proud when you're crawling on floors and jumping out of windows to avoid payment?

Anyway, one of my favorite parts was when Caroline was so proud that she had followed Max to find out that she was really following some guy with long, black hair.  I loved that not just because Caroline thought he was Max, but later when the guy was getting arrested, his girlfriend came out looking and sounding like Caroline.  They had somehow stumbled upon their meth doppelgangers.  Loved it.   Later, when Sophie came knocking at their door after they had finished making the pot cupcakes, Caroline shouted out just like Carol had when her boyfriend was being arrested.  I loved that Max responded to her the same way the guy had to Carol:

Shut it, Carol!  Shut it!

I was expecting that I would like Caroline being stoned since she said it made her personality change, but she was sort of worse than she was before.  I guess being overly positive is slightly better than all doom and gloom.  Then again, I guess it just depends how you do the latter.  Caroline wasn't being very funny about it--she was just sort of ruining their chance to get any money.  She also crushed that chance when she tossed out their cupcakes at Andy's arrival and hopped out to the fire escape.  The only thing I did like about her being high is that she had phone sex with Max.  It's funny because I'm not surprised she called her at all (especially with her admitting she'd marry Max if given three choices).

It was sweet that Andy gave Caroline money and said his success was pointless if he couldn't share it with her.  He's the best.  Caroline better never screw it up with him.  It was also sweet of the diner people to come and give money for the girls' rent.  I expected Caroline to turn down their money too, but luckily calling themselves family made her swallow her pride.  Wow.  I was sort of surprised that Han contributed because I kinda feel like he's a little pissed they're not working so hard at his business anymore.  Then again, he did succumb to Max's demands that he sit at their shop and eat eight cupcakes.  Either he is really afraid of her or he wants them to be successful on some level (maybe both).

I think I would have liked this episode even better if Caroline wasn't such a wet blanket about the pot.  Sure, it put their business into a gray area, but they gotta hustle if they want their business to stay afloat until they get a real customer base.  I hope by next time they have a better plan for getting the money so they don't have to hop out of windows to avoid their landlord.  If not, I hope they find something interesting like pot cupcakes again.  It's both an entertaining and cool idea.

Archer In Space? I'd Stab Myself First

Archer, S03E12

The ISA commissions the ISIS team to help them take out a traitor faction on the space station Horizon.  This was the first part of the season finale, which we can expect to see in a couple of days.  As there have been a lot of episodes where the action was an afterthought, I was a little happy to see them rush off to space, as much as I thought it was ridiculous that they would be able to go after only three days of preparation.

Seriously, I would cut off my right leg before I went into space with the ISIS crew.  Archer is their best operative, and he is more likely to leave you for dead than help you if you were in trouble.  I can't imagine trusting him in space where caution is key (mess up there and you'll be stuck in space til you die).  I thought it couldn't get any more outrageous that they were going into space with Mallory (she can handle a gun, sure, but how is it that she can tolerate a space ride so well?) until Pam and Carol showed up!  Are you kidding me??  How could they survive that ride stuck in a tiny box (I say tiny because Pam is so big)?  And more than that, what the hell kind of business would they have there?  No way they are that stupid that they just have to tag along every damn where that the operatives go.

This question was quickly cleared up after Ray expertly guesses that Pam is screwing Archer.  Archer really needs to get his dick under control.  Do you really need a lay when you're that far from the earth??  Then again, the likelihood that he would be killed up there was high (especially with him shooting off the space gun at random as if a broken window wouldn't murder them all), so perhaps he was thinking of getting one more "taste of heaven" before he faced such a deadly mission.  Either way, it is so messed up.  I sort of feel bad for Pam, but she doesn't seem to mind that much being treated like a piece of meat since she did have sex with him before he came to save the day.

When Pam and Carol did show up, I was worried about what the commander was thinking of doing with the women because he wouldn't let Pam join the attack party.  I thought it was my imagination until they reached the people they were trying to save who turned out to be the traitor faction all along (not that surprising with how suspicious the commander was acting).  They intend to populate Mars with the women from ISIS (I hope that Mallory is excluded because she is beyond menopausal)??  Gross!  Also, won't that take forever?  There's also a great chance of inner-breeding with so few females around...  I can imagine why they would want to do that before they have made Mars liveable for people.  Also, a pregnancy in space?  Man, that sounds like it would be a horror story. 

I'm interested to see what the commander and the others are thinking.  I'm not really sure how the ISIS crew will be able to escape when none of them are qualified to operate a space shuttle to get back home without the help of one of their captors.  And what will they do with the men?  Just hope that Archer and the others will join them?  Can't see Archer doing that unless they offered him something really good.  Last week's episode promises a good finale this Thursday.