Just Do It--Don't Talk!

Family Guy, S11E11

Peter and the guys had a wild night of drinking that led to Quagmire accidentally getting married to a prostitute.  At first, Quagmire tried to make their marriage work, so that he wouldn't have to lose everything in a divorce, but he changed his mind when Charmese thought he was gay.  However, she wouldn't consent on a divorce unless Quagmire proved that he was really into men.

The biggest shock about Quagmire being married isn't who he married because let's face it--him marrying a prostitute doesn't sound below the quality of life he's lived so far.  It's just weird to see him married at all.  This was true when he had that fiancee in another episode who was too crazy for Quagmire.  At least this time Quagmire was involved with a woman who didn't seem so bad, despite her profession.  I mean, she was mostly just a sight to look at.  She did refuse to divorce him unless he had sex with a man in front of her, but since Quagmire was playing her in the first place, I couldn't see her as being psycho.  She probably never intended to let it get as far as it did.

I was surprised that Peter agreed to do that for Quagmire.  He's a really good friend, even though Peter seemed sort of into it more than he was letting on.  I can't forget that he said he had been "full sail" way before he and Quagmire got into the room.  Raises an eyebrow, but not such much that I'll probably remember it by the time the next episode comes out.

More than not wanting to see Peter and Quagmire actually get it on, I just wanted them to stop narrating what they were doing and "feeling."  They made it so much more uncomfortable to watch when they were saying such unnatural things.  And when they were barfing back and forth in each others' mouths--one of the grossest parts of the story.  It definitely beat when Charmese spit on Chris' face (yuck!)

There were a few jokes that I liked in this episode.  The first was a cutaway when Peter was comparing them sticking out at Harvard to a black guy in Sweden.  Unexpectedly when they started saying "Blackin sippin," I was laughing.  It was such bad fake Swedish that it couldn't be anything else but humorous.  It almost makes me want to say that next time I see a black guy sipping from a cup.

Next, I liked when Peter was confused about Beowulf:

[Peter] Hey, was Beowulf a Teen Wolf sequel with Scott Baio? 

[Joe] No.

[Peter] Then I just totally failed that Medieval Lit midterm.

I don't know why, but any kind of joke about Beowulf that you can make is funny to me.  I guess because since high school, I've always thought that title and story were strange to me.

The last joke I liked was a parody of It's A Wonderful Life:

[Girl] Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, some gay guy’s gonna have sex with another gay guy. 
[Father] We’re gonna pull you out of that school.

I'd like to know what school it is that says things like that to their students.  Sounds like a bizarre place.


This was a good episode.  I wouldn't mind watching it again, except I don't really want to listen to Quagmire and Peter talk about what they're going to do to each other in bed.  If they had just been a little quieter it might have been more tolerable to watch (although, I doubt they would show Quagmire screwing Peter for real).  There were enough jokes throughout that it was generally funny, and the story itself about Quagmire was interesting enough that I wasn't entirely so concerned about laughing every few minutes.

Just Call Roger "Daddy"

American Dad, S08E04

Stan kicked Roger out of the attic so that his newly widowed mother could live there and resisted at first when Roger and Betty were married right away.  Stan grew to love Roger as his new dad, but thought his mother was in danger when he saw someone had left a website open that offered advice on how to kill one's spouse.  Steve and his friends also found a lost script for a Fast and Furious sequel.

It took me nearly to the end of the episode to not be grossed out by Roger being involved with Betty.  He's just so nasty!  It's times like this that I'm reminded that he's an alien just playing dress-up and also has screwed more people than Stan's ever seen in his life.  It just made me skin crawl a little to see his hands all up on someone that closely related to Stan.  Stan seemed more angry about it than wanting to vomit, like I did, mostly because I guess he didn't like the idea of having a new dad.  I never expected Roger to try and fulfill that role to Stan nor did I think that he would be successful in establishing a loving (yet weird) father-son relationship with him.  I mean, Roger was a pretty good stepdad.  Knowing Roger, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop because Roger always has some kind of ulterior motive when one of his personas is doing something good for someone else, but he remained good until he had to kill off his character (which was really convenient).  I was a little surprised that Betty was trying to off Roger, but she is Stan's mother, so that crazy had to come from somewhere.

I think the only gag I really liked was where Roger kept having pictures of himself and Stan that had just happened or were about to happen.  It was really weird.  It reminds me of when I look at pictures in movies and such and always wonder who was there at that exact perfect moment to capture the pictures.  Because they would be too in the moment pictures for someone to have just casually happened to get them on film.  This joke wasn't hilarious, but I appreciated it.

I didn't appreciate too much the story about Steve.  Did not need to see the characters from those horrible Fast and Furious movies making out with each other.  I think we could have been all right not having a side story at all.

This episode was okay.  I think what I liked most was that Roger was genuine for a change.  He's usually such a bastard while trying to pretend to be a saint that it sometimes makes me mad.  Also, Stan learned a little that his mother isn't so perfect, so maybe we won't have to see her again anytime soon.  I wouldn't mind seeing Roger acting nice again sometime. He's disgusting and weird, but he really makes the show entertaining (He just needs to not be so conniving all the time).

Grandpa's Other Wife

The Simpsons, S24E04

After receiving money from a fast food injury, Homer put the money in a college fund for Lisa via an online poker site.  Lisa soon became hooked on playing and increasing her money for her higher education.  Marge and Homer discovered that Grandpa had gone missing after they neglected to show up for a visit.  They spent their time looking for him, while learning about his past as a songwriter and his short-lived marriage.

This wasn't the funniest story, but it was a little interesting to learn about Abe's past.  I would think that we've explored the skeletons in his closet enough, though, but they did an okay job of still making this worth watching.  Two things that were almost funny to me were when two chained dogs at Spiro's wussed out on a fight after getting free and the poker game telling Lisa to log off because they could all hear her crying.  None of the jokes worked extremely well for me, but I sensed an effort.

The most interesting thing in this episode was that Abe was married briefly after he had split up with Mona.  It was conveniently over pretty much as soon as they were married.   The brief nature of their relationship distracted you from imagining this new timeline working into what we already know about Abe.  I suppose I could overlook that Homer didn't remember that at all because Abe took him to an airport bar to drink away their memories after Rita left for Europe without them.  I don't know if Abe actually forgot about her all those years (since is prone to forget most things), but it's a little weird that he had a black wife when he refused to tell the truth about the Simpson family tree including a slave named Virgil.  He seemed ashamed to admit that, but had few problems wedding a black woman.  But it wasn't as if he ever told Homer about it, so perhaps he had intended to keep it a secret like Virgil.

Another thing that I thought was a little odd was that the lawyer Roberto Deniro (ha) had these acid markers on hand to burn Homer.  What would he be using those for??  I was also a little confused the way the beginning story didn't really tie into the main story.  I mean, thanks to Homer's onion ring incident, Lisa did get to gamble her college fund online, but Lisa's story was a side story that didn't really connect to the main story at all.  I don't know.  I just feel like Marge noticing that they forgot to visit Grandpa could have been a little more relevant to what was going on before.

Lisa's side story wasn't too memorable, and I had a feeling that Sideshow Bob was really Bart after all.  And of course, it wasn't a surprise that they had to maintain the status quo and Bart's winnings were returned to $5000 due to him not being of legal gambling age.  It would be too good of an outcome for her to have so much money to spend on college.

I probably would watch this episode again to check out some things that I didn't pay a lot of attention to, like the contents of Granpa's army locker.  I thought it was nice to hear Anika Noni Rose, but I wouldn't say that the story would have been worse if she hadn't played Rita.  I just enjoyed learning that there was more to Abe's love life in the past than we had thought.  And even though Homer and Grandpa don't get along so well, it was sweet to see that he sacrificed a lot to make sure that Homer grew up safely.  I can overlook the flimsy plot when there's sentiment to be found.  I'm a sucker for that for this show.

The New Mrs. Flanders

The Simpsons, S023E21

Edna was revealed to be Ned's wife after he got injured during a passion play.  Marge and Homer threw them a party, where the tension surrounding their differing parenting styles came to a boiling point.  Ned remained angry that someone else was shaping his boys' futures until he saw that Homer and Marge still hadn't agreed upon how to raise their children over the past 10 years.  Ned went to a school assembly and made up with Edna in front of all the children and teachers.

I can't believe that Homer managed to play a decent Jesus.  Of all the years he's spent saying as many sacrilegious things as he could, you would think that Homer might burst into flames if he tried to portray someone so unlike himself (he did get electrocuted playing Jesus outside of the play).  But he had the audience captivated and even got Ned to get over his jealousy and doubt that Homer would do the role justice.  The worst thing that happened was Homer falling off the crucifix and crushing Ned.  That's amazing for Homer.  It let you know early on that this episode wasn't going to be about one of Homer's misadventures.

Instead, the story was focused on Ned and Edna's secret marriage.  Did not see that coming.  I guess it makes sense that Ned wouldn't keep "leading" Edna on and would seal the deal since they love each other enough.  That's refreshing to skip over that part and jump right into how they are living their lives together.  We 've seen enough weddings on this show that one more was certainly not going to be anything special.  But I will admit it was strange to see Edna sitting at the table with Rod and Tod, which they helped make awkward by referring to her as "Cigarette Mommy" and "Do-Over Mommy."  But soon you could see that Edna was really good with the boys, even though as a teacher she has become quite lackluster (no thanks to Bart Simpsons of the world).  I really liked seeing her go to the parent-teacher conference and not tolerate her new sons going to a school where science wasn't taught.  Still, I have my own doubts about the quality of education they can get at Springfield Elementary.

I give credit to Ned for allowing Edna to take the reigns for even a little while concerning his kids; Marge had tried to influence them once and he resisted her much more (than again, she wasn't his wife).  I'm surprised after his Davey and Goliath style nightmare where his kids were studying comparative religious studies at an east coast university that Ned didn't drive to the school that very day and drag them out. It wasn't until the party where Rod and Tod had fake tattoos and used slang like "chillax" that made Ned explode.  He was totally ignoring the positive changes that Edna had already made on those little weirdos he calls sons.  I was worried that he would just stay stubborn and would just put things back the way they were.  Or worse, I thought their fight might end Ned and Edna's marriage before it began.  Thankfully, Ned got perspective after seeing Homer and Marge argue.  I wouldn't think they would be the best examples of any aspect of marriage (not the part that works anyway), but at least it loosened the stick up Ned's butt and made him apologize.  I just don't know why he had to do it in front of all the kids (nor why all the kids cheered when they were making out in front of them).

For a story that was about a non-Simpson family member, it was pretty good.  It's going to be an adjustment to see Ned and Edna go from just dating to full-on marriage.  It'd be nice if it set up more stories of how Rod and Tod might change into a little more typical kids or how they adapt to the Springfield Elementary society.  I've very interested to see how the two would fare against bullies like Nelson walking about or what sort of friends they might make.  Maybe in the next season we'll get to see such a story.

Award For Most Uncomfortable Dinner

Mad Men, S05E07

Megan's parents came to town, and we saw that their have an unhappy relationship.  Megan came up with a great pitch that gained them the Heinz account.  Peggy thought Abe wanted to propose to her, but he actually wanted to move in together.  Don was given an award for his letter that spoke about smoking's hand in cancer and other health risks.  Megan's parents, Sally, and Roger all accompanied Don to the award dinner.  The night revealed a lot for those who attended it.

I wondered what kind of parents that Megan had, considering her personality.  They seem to not be much of a reflection about Megan's character, as they have a history of bickering and making each other miserable.  It was clear that Marie was starved for affection, but luckily she was more impressed with Roger than Don and didn't do anything inappropriate with her own daughter's husband.  From what I've learned about Emile, he just seems dispassionate about the way his own life has turned out and takes it out on others.  Even his daughter isn't exempt from his negativity.  It's no wonder that Marie, who claimed to be once full of life and adventure, would end up fooling around with Roger, with his renewed look on life.

I don't think much is wrong with what Roger and Marie did (because they are adults), but I wonder if Sally will get over walking in on them while Marie was pleasuring Roger on her knees.  Maybe she'll appreciate staying with her grandmother a bit more than going to the "dirty" city to hang with her dad's kind of people.  Before that happened, I thought that Sally and Roger were so adorable together.  He was pretending she was his date, and Sally acted as his encouragement so he could work the room.  I think Sally was having fun pretending to be an adult (nice dress, conversation about business) until she got a glimpse of some of the other things adults did.

Don may not be the father of the year, but I still think he's a great dad.  He has all the opportunities to be absent his children's lives, but he's there for them a decent amount.  I just loved how he was stunned by seeing Sally in a beautiful and more grown-up dress, but told her to tone it down.  Emile made Don's fear of his daughter growing up too quickly worse by saying that all girls eventually "spread their legs and fly away."  Thanks to that funny misquote, I'm sure that Don will be keeping a closer watch on Sally whenever she's around.  It was really sweet after he got his award he claimed that seeing a beautiful girl who would be ready for makeup one day, but not today, made him happier than being honored.  Aww.  It's gonna be rough for him when she starts to get rebellious and nothing he can say will make her listen.  I think Sally is a good person, but she's definitely got a curiosity that will probably make her a wild teenager.

Instead of worrying about his daughter leaving childhood, Don should be most worried that his image is indeed as negative as Roger warned it would be before he wrote the letter.  At the dinner, Ed told him that no one wanted to work with him there at the party because he's not the trustworthy type.  I can't argue with that.  For Don, business is business.  I don't think that he ever considered any of the clients to be his real friends and would actually stick his neck out for one of them.  And why would he?  With slimeballs like Heinz, I wouldn't promise my loyalty to them when they are just as likely to cut off their business for the smallest thing that dissatisfied them.  There's only so much ass-kissing one can do for a customer before it becomes counterproductive.

Speaking of Heinz, I was almost glad that Raymond's wife let it be known that they were going to fire SCDP because I've had it with him taking advantage of them.  He wants so much, but gives so little back.  And sure, that's the nature of their business, but it's been a while since they've had such a shitty client.  I prepared to watch Don get a little revenge on Raymond, which I could have cheered on, but Megan smartly decided to give the pitch she had been working on with Don and they secured the account.  Way to go Megan!  However, she increasingly looked less and less thrilled about her success, the more Don and the others applauded her.  I thought she was really passionate about copywriting, but it looks like that's not where her heart is.  Emile further suggested that Megan is settling for a different kind of success, but not the kind that she has always dreamed of.  Now I'm wondering if she'll try her hand in acting or performing again, despite that she's made a significant mark in their advertising firm.  I worry that Don, who seemed excited that he and Megan could work together so well, might not be so supportive if she decided to give up on advertising (or Megan may stay in the business and be unhappy but too scared to quit).

As far as Peggy goes, I thought that Abe was going to dump her.  When he asked her to move in, I thought she was disappointed.  I think that only when Joan praised her and made it seem very romantic did Peggy see what a wonderful gesture it was for him to ask.  I mean, I thought Peggy would be ready to punch Megan in the face for winning over Heinz when Peggy had failed at it, but she was so satisfied with her love life that she was genuinely happy for Megan's achievement.  Wow.  Peggy's mother, of course, wasn't happy at all, but that was no surprise. I just didn't think she'd be such a stubborn bitch to tell Peggy that if she was lonely to just keep getting cats until she died.  Because being a cat lady is much better than "living in sin" with her loving boyfriend.  Maybe she'll never get married once they move in together, but at least Peggy will have someone there to love her and take care of her.  Is a cat going to make her feel good after a horrible day at work and make sure she doesn't drink herself to death?  Peggy's mom needs to get the stick out of her ass and stop trying to push her ideals onto her daughter (her mom ain't no saint either!).

I wonder if Don can do something to change his business perspective so that they could draw in more clients who can trust their firm.  Hopefully the dissatisfaction that Megan seems to have with her job won't start to tear at her marriage.  I don't care too much about what happens to Peggy as long as she's concentrating on her own life.  I like the new Roger, and I'm eager to see if he can turns things around in his professional life.  With a lot of things going to the dump with everyone else, it would be nice to see someone making some positive strides.

Strippers Before Secret-Sharing Speeches

The Big Bang Theory, S05E22

Howard had his bachelor party where the main entertainment wasn't strippers (due to Bernadette's wishes) but the random speeches by his friends.  In particular, Raj told everyone several of Howard's secrets concerning his sexual experiences.  Howard had no idea that Will Wheaton had filmed the whole thing and Bernadette had seen it before she picked him up that night.  Since she hadn't known about these things before watching the video, she wondered if she really knew the kind of man she was about to marry.  Howard later convinced her that he wasn't the same person who would do those things Raj talked about ever since he met her.

I assumed that their boys-night out at a vineyard or whatever silly thing they ended up doing instead of strippers was just going to be embarrassingly lame and nothing more.  That's why I think that Bernadette probably should have allowed Howard to have some strippers there anyway.  The odds of any of the men in attendance getting into trouble with them would have been slim (except possibly Wheaton since he's been on TV).  But I liked that Howard, who usually has the filthiest mind, didn't seem to mind at all listening to what Bernadette preferred.  That was refreshing not just for him, but in general as a man who could have been easily pressured by all the other men in attendance who wanted strippers.  Plus, it would have been funny to see strippers around Sheldon, a man who could barely take a sip of whiskey without a Robin-esq  swear.

Besides all of the horrible speeches, I liked that Kripke seemed to only be there in order to see strippers.  When it was his moment to give a few words about Howard, he remarked that it was basically false advertising to have a bachelor party and not have strippers of any kind.  I really like Kripke because you know if he's around that it's either to cause trouble or any other motive besides actually wanting to hang with Leonard and the gang.  I respect his honesty.

So the speeches, as I said, were terrible.  Leonard made it about himself, only wanting to boast about how he had sex with Penny on the beach (wow--who gives a damn).  Stuart's speech was so full of underlining jealousy, I was surprised he didn't stab Howard and try to assume his life as his own.  It was a little funny that he later stole a dollar from Raj that Kripke had given him.  Sheldon's speech was just annoying with his failure jokes and confidence that he was giving the best speech ever.  I was ready for him to sit down after his first "zinger."  What I did like about Sheldon was that he was miffed that Will Wheaton was in attendance because he thought Wheaton was exclusively his own friend, not Howard's or the others'.  Ha.  I wouldn't mind if they became enemies again.  Sheldon has the dumbest but amusing enemies.  Raj had the best speech because he did actually talk about Howard from the heart (maybe too much like a former girlfriend) and the fact that he revealed the secrets that no one needed to know.  Raj seemed pretty pleased that he had a threesome with Howard with an overweight girl dressed as Sailor Moon.  That image is hilarious.  Only Raj would be proud of that.  Then again, with Raj's record with women that probably is the best thing he could expect to brag about.

I think that Bernadette got too upset about the things she found out about Howard.  I mean, he is disgusting, but she knew that when she started dating him.  I think that she was just nervous about the wedding in general and was easily influenced by the tiniest thing that wasn't right.  Thankfully, Howard went to her and said the right words to fix things.  It's true that he has changed since meeting Bernadette--he's nowhere as near revolting as he was in the earlier seasons.  He's pretty pleasant.  I'm glad that it didn't take much for him to be forgiven because it wasn't that big of a deal (though I wouldn't want to have sex with him for a while after hearing about him and his cousin--eww).

Good episode.  Strippers would have been nice than the string of inappropriate speeches from Howard's friends, but they were effective in getting out the truth that Bernadette didn't know about her husband-to-be and that's important.  I'd hate for that to come out when they were walking down the aisle.  As their wedding fast approaches, I have to say that I'm a little more excited to see them hitched than I thought I would be. They're pretty perfect for each other, and I think they will be an amusing married couple as well.