A Schmidt Baby Makes Me Want To Gag

New Girl, S01E21

Cece had to wait in fear and repulsion to see if she was pregnant with Schmidt's child.  Jess babysat Sarah, Russel's daughter, who was in love with Nick.  Nick found out that his newest girlfriend was younger than he thought.  Winston had to take care of his boss who was intimidated by another talk host.

The thing I was worried about slightly less than Cece being pregnant was that Sarah would be a huge brat and not get along well with Jess.  The girl was definitely peculiar with the eagerness that she wanted to know about sexual activities, but she did seem to like Jess and trust her (until she revealed her big secret).  Usually a kid on a show that has mostly adults is annoying, but I think that Sarah was odd enough that she fit in with Jess and company.  Her best line of all was when she first met Nick and noticed his eyes:

Your eyes are so brown.  They look like poop.

Nick, of course, wasn't even able to shake off a young girl's assessment of himself and consulted his friends whether this was true.  They confirmed that he indeed had a poop-like hue eye color.  Another "great" quality about Nick.

Nick seemed like he may have gotten to the end of his college girl phase after learning that his last girlfriend was 18 and knew Sarah.  She had also had Jess as her substitute teacher once upon a time.  If this doesn't convince him to go back to dating girls his own age, I don't know what else it will take.  You would think dating that girl with the circle scarf would have taught him already.

The thing that I was mostly worried about in this episode was that Cece would have to give birth to a little Schmidt.  Even if I could imagine that the child would be nothing like the father, I just was grossed out by how Schmidt was handling the situation.  His comments about the sex he and Cece have were bad enough, but to have him hanging all over her while talking about how big her breasts were going to get made me reach for the puke bag again.  It's amazing how much I want to push him out of a window, even though he is a sweet and charming guy.  It's just that when he talks about sex he gives us way more information than we want to know.  Thankfully, Cece got her period.  I almost applauded that moment.

I didn't expect Schmidt to try to propose to her, though.  I guess now he is the one who thinks they should get serious and Cece is the one who thinks their relationship should remain strictly physical.  It's funny how a baby scare could flip it like that.  Or at least that's what it looks like.  I don't blame Cece, nor do I think that Schmidt was wrong for thinking that a pregnancy would be the best time for him to strike while the iron was hot.  So far they haven't shown much in common beyond the sex anyhow.  Maybe if they get to a level where they connect on a nonsexual level, I might think that marriage wouldn't look too random for them.

The story about Winston wasn't that great.  It was just nice that Winston seemed to start a friendship with his boss.  He deserves a break when it comes to employment.

My favorite line in the episode was when Jess was talking to Nick before Sarah came:

Please put on some pants.  Everything you say sounds really creepy when you're not wearing pants.

And when did say stuff like her hair looked nice and something about the coffee, he did sound just as creepy as Jess declared.  I dunno why it was okay, though, for him to have pants or really high socks.  What, is he like an old man or something?  Ugh.

Another good line was when Schmidt was pretending to call another girl for the date he had planned for him and Cece.  He had really called Nick and for some reason Nick didn't pick up on what Schmidt was doing:

[Schmidt] You wearing something sexy?
[Nick] Button down and jeans, like always.
[Schmidt] Oh, those jeans sound sexy.
[Nick] Is everything all right?  You want to hang out more, Schmidt?
[Schmidt] You taking care of that toushie for me?

[Nick] I'm not doing like squats or anything.  I'm trying to eat less donuts.
[Schmidt] You still keeping it tight?

I couldn't believe how long it took before Nick was creeped out by what Schmidt was saying.  He was just talking with him almost as if everything Schmidt was saying was nothing unusual.  So awkward, but so wonderful to watch to see how far it could go.

I sensed a little that Jess was remembering a little bit of her attraction toward Nick, but her actions and words make it seem that she's committed to building on her relationship with Russel.  As long as Nick isn't dating some little girl, I can be cool with them not getting any closer any time soon.  However, I'd like the Cece and Schmidt train to take a little break soon--I cant't take another scare like Schmidt becoming a disgusting father as well.  Perhaps he would tone down his sexuality a bit once a baby came along, but since that's not guaranteed, I'm not willing to take the risk.  Schmidt is bad enough as he is now, and as we were told in another episode, he only has down--there is no up with Schmidt.