What Really Happened?

How I Met Your Mother, S08E17

Ted told his friends about the last time he saw the Captain after receiving a call from him that Ted felt was angry.  Robin retold the story, revealing that Ted's version was skewed, but Lily finally told the real story and proved that Robin also was fuzzy about the details of that night.

I wasn't sure why they had brought the Captain back into picture until the end, but I was thrilled to see him.  I love how he frightens the hell out of Ted and the other guys.  My favorite part, of course, was when Ted replayed the message for Marshall and Barney and each time he replayed it, the Captain's tone and overall image kept getting darker and more foreboding.  Ted really turned a simple message to call him back into the beginning of a murder plot.

I also liked that Ted's story wasn't true at all, but I should have known.  The Captain doesn't seem like the type to rudely end someone's sentences and pull out a harpoon at someone.  When we saw the Captain and Ted together in other episodes it was just Ted imagining all the "terrifying" things that the Captain was trying to do to him.  I should have known that Ted was lying or something.  I wouldn't have guessed that he was high off his mind, though.

I also wouldn't have guessed that Robin was drunk as hell at the gallery either.  I mean, she's used to having guys hit on her, so I could believe that the Captain came onto her.  I don't know about him lying all seductively on his bed in her story, though.  That should have been a clue to me that her story was a little less than true.

The surprises kept rolling in when it was revealed that the one that the Captain was interested in was Lily.  He clearly knew that she was married, so it made me confused (I guess I thought that Robin's story was just her mistaking herself for Lily).  I liked that it wasn't obvious that Lily had stolen an ashtray from him year ago because he belittled her opinion in art because she was a kindergarten teacher.  It still didn't all tie together until Lily started talking about how she regretted never doing anything with art in her life.  The Captain had reminded her of that and even a year later it was still a sore spot for Lily.  I started to feel for her, even though she has a pretty good life with a great husband and an adorable son.  I was happily surprised that Lily didn't have to put aside her dream because the Captain was going to give her a taste of it, possibly, with his job offer.  I would have sooner believed that the Captain was about to harpoon Ted than think he was going to ask her to work for him.

I liked this episode.  It was funny to see the Captain through Ted's terrified eyes.  I don't think I could ever get sick of Ted imagining the worst of him.  It was also interesting that the different versions of that night at the art gallery kept you wondering what the real story was.  Once we found out that it was all about Lily, it made all the storytelling seem worthwhile.  Especially because the Captain ended up giving Lily a way to enjoy her dream again.  Lately, we've been concentrating on the joy of Marvin and we've neglected that Lily might want more out of her life than a wonderful family.  I'm glad we'll get to see her expand her horizons, and the Captain should prove to be a very entertaining boss for her.

Being Black Ain't Bout the Crack

New Girl, S02E12

Jess invited Nick and Angie to a cabin getaway with her and Sam because she was nervous about being alone.  Things got awkward when they started drinking and some misunderstandings occurred.  Schmidt was also worried about Winston denying his real self and tried to make him feel at ease by doing things like taking him to go buy crack, unaware that Winston was just playing him.

I couldn't imagine a worse idea for Jess's romantic weekend than to invite Nick and his wild girlfriend.  It really shows that Jess was desperate not to be alone with Sam in an intimate setting and also how much she needs Nick at her side.  I mean, of course, it would be odd for her to invite any of her other single friends, but still.  I could see her inviting Nick whether Angie was in the picture or not.  I expected something would happen to reveal that Jess and Sam aren't as perfect as she's trying to make them to be (even though, as Sam pointed out, they started off as sex buddies with fake names), but I never thought Angie would think the purpose of them being there was to switch partners.

I'm not too mad at Angie for trying to get with Sam for a second.  I mean, calling in Nick and Angie there was weird to begin with and left things up to interpretation.  Plus, Sam was resisting her even while being drunk out of his mind.  What did make me like Angie a lot less was after having a heart-to-heart with Nick about meeting him halfway and admitting that he cared about her, Angie ran off in the middle of the night.  Really?  Nick didn't even get mad about her trying to jump another man's bones and asked for her not to change for him.  I feel like why should Nick even continue to be decent to women when he gets treated like this?  It's a damn shame.  But maybe Nick shouldn't try to date women with so much baggage.  Nick's not so together himself that he can expect to fix anyone else.

I only found a few funny things in that story, all of them about Nick.  The first was when he was drunk and for some reason complimenting Sam:

If you were a hat, you’d be a top hat.  But like a really big Monopoly one.  And I say that
of the deepest compliments.

I like when Nick has these moments where he's just randomly blurting out whatever comes to his mind.  Usually, though, he's not even drunk.

The second line I liked was at the very end after Nick had eaten some potato salad from the trash along with the remaining absinthe:

 I am gonna poop weird tonight!

That was about the funniest thing in the Jess and Nick story, but the Winston and Schmidt's story supplied the rest of the comedy.  It started off well when Schmidt decided that he was going to be the black friend to Winston that he thought Winston was missing.  I was already laughing when he consulted Nick and Cece about it because Nick's face in response to what Schmidt was saying was hilarious.  It was just screaming that it was a bad idea, but of course, once Schmidt has it in his head, it's going to become reality.

Everything that happened between them pretty much had me laughing from Winston telling Schmidt to take the Rastafarian hat off his head to Winston's ridiculous story about how his family used to enjoy crack next to flaming trash can.  You gotta love that Schmidt didn't think for a second that story was full of crap and instead was sort of moved by it so much that he wanted to find him some crack.

The near end of it was when I was really rolling.  It was funny enough to hear Schmidt use the expression "crack cocaine" so many times, but Schmidt his whole attitude toward the whole transaction was hilarious:

[Schmidt] I suppose we could just get out and ask any of these street youths.

[Winston] I’ll let you get out the car first.  Go ahead, do your thing, man.
[Schmidt] I don’t want to ask the wrong person and end up with I want the fresh crack, you know? Not some crack that’s been laying around all day.

I didn't think that it could get funnier than that until they brought a random stranger in their car.  It was really funny that Robert ended up thinking that Winston and Schmidt were gonna rob him.  I loved hearing them scream like they were being murdered.  It really makes me thankful for Winston who is the kind of guy who would let things get this far before coming clean.  One of the best Schmidt and Winston moments yet.

It's a bit sadder than I imagined that Nick and Angie are over (maybe), but I'm not entirely unhappy about that.  Seeing Nick and Jess in the cabin, it's just clearer and clearer that they would be so magical together.  Certainly more than Jess and Sam, who aren't exactly firing off fireworks in the romance department.  Schmidt is definitely a moron for thinking he had to cater to Winston's "black" side, but at the same time he's proven that he's willing to go beyond and above for a friend even under a very misguided notion.  He might get a little racist and offensive, but you can't question that he loves Winston.  And I love Winston too.  Anyone who can set up a friend to drive to a shady area for some crack as a horrible joke, is a guy I want to see as much of as possible.

Thanksgiving Whores

Bob's Burgers, S03E05

Bob and his family agreed to pretend to be a cook and part of the Fischoeder family in exchange for five months free rent.  Although the charade was going well, Bob began to ruin it when he was angry that his family failed to spend any time with him doing the Thanksgiving traditions that he looked forward to every year.

What I was reminded of most in the episode was how much that Bob really treasures moments with his family, even if he likes to do cheesy things that his family doesn't care for.  I can understand completely why they would jump at the idea of getting free rent just for acting (because let's face it--this family loves to play characters and doesn't need much convincing to do so), but I couldn't help but feel like Linda and the kids were complete jerks in this story.  The kids were halfway motivated to ignore their dad because Fischoeder had bribed them with a Chuck E. Cheese like prize system based on how well they displayed their phony love, but I still couldn't forgive them.  I guess it was because Bob was acting so crazy getting drunk off absinthe and befriending the turkey he was cooking and looked really pathetic by himself.  Just felt bad for him and thought about how he has such an exhausting family to deal with.  It's funny that I still consider him the one who's most in touch with reality when he was the one mourning the death of cooked turkey that had been shot.

There isn't much else I responded to in this episode except Lina's horrible Thanksgiving song.  Her terrible voice only intensified the horrible lyrics.  It was really weird that when she was trying to sing it at the dinner table that all the kids decided that it would be a great time to do their individual dances of love for their fake father.  Why?  I mean, Bob was on the table trying to compete with Fishoeder to make a speech, Linda was destroying eardrums with her song, and the kids thought that was the best time to dance?  I don't know.  I guess it just shows, as usual, that this family is just crazy and that when one person gets out of control, it encourages the others to follow suit.  It was a little painful to watch and not too funny.

I did slightly like, though, when the family gathered around Bob when they thought he might be shot.  They regretted acting like rent/prize whores and ended the whole fake family thing.  At least when things get to the matter of life and death, they can put aside their greed or whatever and focus on what's important.  If they hadn't, I seriously would have been pissed.  They need to treat Bob a little better.  They way they just screw him over sometimes isn't too funny.

I think the concept of this story was pretty good.  I just wish I could have enjoyed Bob being neglected more (which could have been achieved by his absinthe illusions being funnier and less sad) and found the rest of the family funnier.  However, I will say that this was a pretty good Thanksgiving story that managed to not hit your head over with the holiday and focus more on the eccentricities of Bob's family and his landlord (and the weirdo women Fishoeder likes to date).  I think maybe I'll like the episode a little more if I watch it again.  It was just watching it that first time I just couldn't help focus on the selfishness of Linda and the kids.

Rallo, The Wingman

The Cleveland Show, S04E03

Holt befriend Rallo and paid him to help him get ladies.  Cleveland, Lester, and Tim opened a second Broken Stool in the airport on behalf of Gus and were terrified that Gus would kill them if it wasn't successful.

I guess I liked that this was an episode around Thanksgiving time, but there wasn't too much about the actual holiday in either stories.  After all, they've already done a Thanksgiving story before that was pretty memorable (not in a good way because who wouldn't like to forget that Auntie Mama and Freight Train got it on?), so I don't see it necessary for them to outdo what they've already done.  Overall, it wasn't the best stories I've seen on this show, but it wasn't too bad.

I didn't like the story about Cleveland wanting to set up another bar.  I did like, however, how the story started with Holt rushing to make his flight and the airport trying its best to help him get to the gate in time.  How great would that be if that was reality?  I hate flying so much, so it was funny to see the staff letting Cleveland and company bypass security and to see the lady at the gate comforting Holt when she told him he had just missed his flight.  It would be impossible for all airport personnel to accommodate all people who weren't able to get to their flights in time, but it would be nice if there was an ounce of compassion about someone desperately trying to not waste time and money by missing a flight.  I don't think you can overdo the jokes about how bad it is to fly in America because it's a wonder why anyone would want to travel that way if it wasn't necessary.

The rest of the story was pretty boring with Cleveland getting drunk and taking a plane out until it ran out of fuel.   I can't really think of how that story could have taken a better route to comedy, but it surely wasn't by making Cleveland nearly die in a plane crash.  I'm also not sure how it was that no one at all knew it was him that stole and destroyed a plane.  Anyway, there wasn't one second that Cleveland and the others got to sell even one drink, so it made his endeavor really pointless.  Unless you want to count that Holt got to use his new "swinging skills" to save Cleveland.

Now Holt and Rallo's story was a lot better, but it wasn't incredible.  I liked that before Cleveland had to look after him, Rallo was watching something called "Mystery Science Magic Johnson Theater 3000."  A very funny blend of two very different things.  It was little funny to see instead of robots (or whatever those things were on that show) these ghetto-sounding guys were shouting throughout the movie, but it was even better that Rallo was annoyed by it:

Y'all shut up!  I'm trying to watch a movie!

I think that was my favorite thing Rallo had said in this episode.  I also enjoyed when he was trying to get Holt to stop singing about how he was paying for a kid for sex and other easily misinterpreted lines.   But the only other thing that was worth mentioning was when Rallo was sick of Holt's dad calling them maggots (and generally being a dick):

[Rallo] You know what--you're a maggot!
[Gasps] [Holt's Dad] I am a human being.

I just love that Rallo had had it with that guy and wasn't about to listen to him call anyone a maggot again.  He is just the coolest little kid around (definitely within Seth MacFarlane world).

This episode was only okay because it featured Rallo taking someone under his wing.  There was minimum Junior, which was disappointing, but also minimum Roberta and Donna, so that was ultimately a plus.  I don't know if I've ever really liked a story that was about Cleveland and his friends getting into some stupid business thing or scheme, but I certainly didn't like this one.  Or maybe I just wish the scheme was a little better attempted next time.  Otherwise, fill that time with more Rallo because I can't get enough of him.

Amy's Honor Defended

Big Bang Theory, S06E07

 Amy felt like Wil Wheaton insulted her, but Sheldon didn't have her back.  Howard still had his things at his mother's house, and Bernadette wanted him to completely move into their place.

I was happy to see not Wil Wheaton (because he's a little arrogant for someone who's only slightly famous), but Amy together with Sheldon because that meant it might possible be a story about them.  It also meant I was probably going to get angry at Sheldon, and that was definitely true because I can't get past his inability to understand social cues.  My sympathy for Amy outweighs the knowledge that Sheldon doesn't understand human emotions.  I don't care.  He needed to get his ass kicked for putting Wheaton ahead of his own girlfriend.  It was so like him to misunderstand her and think she wanted him to ditch her for dinner and go out with Wheaton instead.  Sheldon is so damn lucky because another girl would have ended it right there.  He's also lucky Leonard let him know he was in the doghouse because Amy surely would have gotten to the breaking point if that issue had been left unattended for long.

I think my favorite part was when Sheldon got drunk (thanks to Penny--I'll give her some props for once) and went to fight Wheaton at his house.  Also, I just liked how he finally mentioned all the great things he loves about Amy, but has probably never told her.  I was gratified by his near showdown with Wheaton, even if there was no way Sheldon would have won.  Without alcohol he would have never gotten to that point, but I feel like if a few drinks would make him act like a real boyfriend, somewhere inside of him are real feelings for Amy.  It was about as sweet as I could expect Sheldon to be.

I don't know why Amy is such a demanding director, but I loved seeing LeVar Burton at the end of the episode.  I don't care much for Star Trek, but I heart him for his work on Reading Rainbow for sure.  And at least he didn't mind Amy being overbearing--he was just there for his payment.  Haha.

I don't have much to say about Howard's story except how gross it was that he wanted to pleasure himself one last time in his room while his friends waited at the U-Haul for him.  So glad that Leonard didn't agree to that.  Ugh. Bernadette is sweet that she didn't want Howard to break his mother's heart by completely moving out.  She really makes a lot of concessions for him.  That's love.

I liked this episode.  I mean, you can't really go wrong with an episode about Amy and Sheldon, really.  They are just too interesting as a couple.  Almost like watching a new species of animals interact with each other.  I like there is more and more evidence that Sheldon does care for Amy somewhere in that heart he has, but it just hasn't registered in his brain yet.  Although, since Sheldon is crazy with just about anything, I don't know if I'd be ready to see what he'd be like if he realized he was in love.  I might enjoy how happy it would make Amy, though.  Can't wait to see more of them!